0:00:00 > 0:00:01BUURRRRPPPPP!
0:00:02 > 0:00:03Check!
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Pawn...takes rook.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10- Aha! ..Ah, hello! I'm Dick. - And I'm Dom.
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Flapcrackers.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17You may remember that we used to live in a bungalow.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21- This is the living room. What about that?- Look at the tissue box!
0:00:21 > 0:00:22< Woo!
0:00:22 > 0:00:26Enjoying it? This is Da Bungalow with Dick and Dom.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Sadly, it was knocked down a long time ago.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Scroggage.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39But now we live in a better class of bungalow altogether.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Potty pipes.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Sadly, only a few of our precious belongings have survived.
0:00:47 > 0:00:52"Precious, precious few," said Huw Edwards, earlier. Just now, in fact.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54BURRRRRRPPPP!
0:00:55 > 0:00:57- Spankyflanker. - DOM SIGHS
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Na-nee-nob-nobs! Winner!- Grr!
0:01:02 > 0:01:06But, luckily, we kept a Dick and Dom diary.
0:01:06 > 0:01:11- Shall we begin at the beginning?- No. We were rubbish. Try the best bits.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Oh, look, the opening titles.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18# These are the diaries of Dick and Dom
0:01:18 > 0:01:21# They had a bungalow and you could come along
0:01:21 > 0:01:23# To play the maddest games you've ever seen
0:01:23 > 0:01:26# And meet oddballs in between
0:01:26 > 0:01:29# The Diaries Of Dick And Dom The Diaries Of Dick And Dom
0:01:29 > 0:01:32# The Prize Idiot and the neighbour's cat
0:01:32 > 0:01:34# Melvin O'Doom and dear Harry Batt
0:01:34 > 0:01:37# Creamy Muck Muck, dirty Norris and mushy peas
0:01:37 > 0:01:40# And don't forget...BOGIES!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43# The Diaries Of Dick And Dom
0:01:42 > 0:01:43In Da Bungalow
0:01:43 > 0:01:47# The Diaries Of Dick And Dom
0:01:46 > 0:01:47In Da Bungalow
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- # The Diaries Of Dick And Dom - In Da Bungalow
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- # The Diaries Of Dick And Dom - In Da Bungalow! #
0:01:53 > 0:01:54# My hump, my hump
0:01:54 > 0:01:57# My hump, my hump, my hump
0:01:57 > 0:02:01The following stuff and nonsense from Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow
0:02:01 > 0:02:05was first shown live between 2002 and 2006. Enjoy!
0:02:05 > 0:02:08# My lovely little lumps Check it out
0:02:08 > 0:02:09# My hump, my hump
0:02:09 > 0:02:11# My hump, my hump, my hump
0:02:11 > 0:02:13# My hump, my hump, my hump
0:02:13 > 0:02:16# My lovely little lumps Check it out! #
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- # The Diaries Of Dick And Dom - In Da Bungalow! #
0:02:31 > 0:02:33APPLAUSE
0:02:33 > 0:02:35All right. It's me, Brucie Forsyth,
0:02:35 > 0:02:40Big Daddy of the Ballroom and King of the Catchphrase.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42What am I king of, tiny Tess?
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Catchphrase, Bruce, you tap-dancing octogenarian fool!
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Isn't she marvellous? Give us a twirl, Tess! Lovely!
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Isn't that marvellous?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54She's twirling crazy - perma-twirl!
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Now, then, I always think of the Bungalow as home.
0:02:58 > 0:03:04Hello, hello. Marvellous to see you. Welcome to Strictly Come Muck Muck,
0:03:04 > 0:03:09- live on a Saturday morning. Nice to muck you, to muck you...- NICE!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Can't beat Brucie on the Bungalow.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Brucie on the Bungalow, you can't beat.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Now, my favourite part of the show - the games.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19That's what this game is all about.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23On the backs of these cards are the names
0:03:23 > 0:03:26of our favourite Bungalow games. Find a pair
0:03:26 > 0:03:30and we see it again in all its glory. Marvellous!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33So you do get something for a pair!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35SCREECH!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38All right, then, please yourselves. Off we go.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Let's turn some cards over.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Pumpy Rumpy there. Small Change Hunt.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47That's not a pair. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toast.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50What about this one?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Let's have one down here.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55There we go! We've found a pair. Fat On Your Back!
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- What do we do with a pair, tiny Tess?- Comb its hair!
0:03:59 > 0:04:04No, we don't. We play the game. It's Fat On Your Back.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07# Getting up is really hard When you are a lump of lard
0:04:07 > 0:04:11# Fat On Your Back! Fat On Your Back! Need a nap to get off your back! #
0:04:11 > 0:04:15The game is very simple. We all know already.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17You lay on the floor and stand up.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20First to stand up will win... Mr Dominic Wood?
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Um...winner of Mr Dominic Wood. ..What are you doing?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26What are you doing?!
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Right, let's put you on the floor now. There we are.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Did you just fall over? OK.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- We'll spin you round. Move forward.- OK?- OK. Ready...
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Lie back. One, two, three and trust me.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Trust me. There you go.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43No hat? That better? There you go.
0:04:43 > 0:04:49- OK. They're lying down and they get 82 bungalow points.- All to play for!
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Go, go, go!- Stand up. Stand up!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54It's perfectly simple...
0:04:54 > 0:04:59THEY HUM A JAUNTY TUNE
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Sing along at home.- Wave your arms.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05ALL SING TUNE
0:05:08 > 0:05:11# Diddly squit! Diddly squit!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13# Da da-da da da da da... #
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Come on, and you!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Aren't you playing Charlton?
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Boring!
0:05:19 > 0:05:23- If Arsenal...- She's up! She's up!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- I don't believe it! She's up! - FANFARE PLAYS
0:05:26 > 0:05:28- She's up!- Wahey!
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Olivia, you are the winner of... how many?- 82!- 82 bungalow points.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- How do you feel?- Great.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38- Alive alive-o! - As for you down there...- Here...
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. AJ?
0:05:41 > 0:05:45- Do you know what you get, love? - Diddly squit!- Diddly squit.- Yes!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48We've got an e-mail here. It says,
0:05:48 > 0:05:52"I think you give those kids a hard time trying to stand up,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- "why don't YOU give it a go?"- Oooh!
0:05:54 > 0:05:59It's Dick and Dom playing Fat On Your Back. Here we go.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03THEY GIGGLE
0:06:03 > 0:06:08- We've got to...- We don't mind being asked to muck out some stables.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10DICK LAUGHS
0:06:10 > 0:06:12DICK GROANS
0:06:12 > 0:06:15This is SO difficult!
0:06:15 > 0:06:16Get up!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19What do you mean, "Get up?!"
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Ah!
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Ow!
0:06:22 > 0:06:23LAUGHTER
0:06:23 > 0:06:27- Ow! Ooh! Ah! - THEY LAUGH
0:06:27 > 0:06:29AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Good game, good game, good gamey game, game!
0:06:33 > 0:06:36# This is the part of the show
0:06:36 > 0:06:38# With all the bits outside the Bungalow
0:06:38 > 0:06:41# We tease the public with a joke or a trick
0:06:41 > 0:06:45# Like eeny-meeny, dirty doze and spotted dick
0:06:45 > 0:06:48# We met the nation as we travelled up and down
0:06:48 > 0:06:51# So grab your coat for Bungalow 'Bout Town!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53# 'Bout Town! #
0:06:53 > 0:06:56BOTH: Eeny Meeny Macka Racka Rari Dominacka Shickapoppa
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Dickywhopper Rom Pom Stick!
0:06:58 > 0:07:01We've got to stick stickers of increasing sizes
0:07:01 > 0:07:03onto the public's backs.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07If we get caught, we lose. It's as simple as that!
0:07:07 > 0:07:11'Here we go. Day One of the new season... And there it is!
0:07:11 > 0:07:17- Oh!- Oh, sorry, I was just looking at the architecture.- What's this?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20I was just going like that! Wow! Look at that architecture!
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Brilliant, isn't it?!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24'Hats, always a favourite.'
0:07:24 > 0:07:27He's got a big head and I've got an even bigger head.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- We're seeing if hats fit. Can I try yours on?- OK.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34- It fits, yeah?- It fits!- It fits! I can't believe it! And you?
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- I don't know.- No.- No. - 'Trying to get ahead with a hat.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41'If the cap fits, wear it! Number two. Beautiful.'
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- Why are you doing this?- We're seeing how people are.- Jolly good!
0:07:45 > 0:07:50- Just having fun! Generally fun. Bye!- 'McCourt's number three.'
0:07:50 > 0:07:55- We're from Children's BBC. We're looking at ties.- Ties?
0:07:55 > 0:07:59Would you say you had a big-knotted tie?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- It's called a double Windsor, so it's a big knot.- Double Windsor?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Yes.- Can I have a look?
0:08:05 > 0:08:10- 'Can he slip number four onto a double Windsor?'- OK.- Bye-bye.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12'And he has done. Beautiful!'
0:08:12 > 0:08:18- We didn't get the colour of the tie.- Come on! Red.- Thank you. Bye!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21'McCourt's five. What a response!'
0:08:21 > 0:08:26This is probably an extraordinary coincidence but my name's Dom Wood.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- Yes?- And you're holding... - A piece of wood.- ..Wood!
0:08:29 > 0:08:33- 'What are the chances of that?'- If it was called Dom, it'd be weird!
0:08:33 > 0:08:38- Down there on the left. - What's on the left?- That office.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39It's down there on the left.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43'There it is! It's the first lay-on-lay of the season!
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- 'It's a beauty!'- There's pies there.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49'There's pies there but there's a lay-on-lay over here.'
0:08:49 > 0:08:54- 'McCourt, be serious with that.'- Hi. ..Definitely there on the left!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Not the right. You're walking the wrong way!
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- 'There's the tickle! It's on! Beautiful!'- There!
0:09:01 > 0:09:05'It's a triple! Wood has to respond and come back big.'
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- You're very pregnant, aren't you? - Two days to go.- Two days?!
0:09:09 > 0:09:15'We're just hearing now that... McCourt has lost his 10 sticker!
0:09:15 > 0:09:19'If Wood gets away with this, it's a straight win!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- 'And McCourt knows it.'- Do you know what's happened?- What?- He's won!
0:09:22 > 0:09:28- 'Or has he?'- Won what? He's won what? - You made me lose!- 'She's baffled.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31'He isn't and Wood certainly isn't!'
0:09:31 > 0:09:36- Bye!- 'That is the first win of the season. Everybody's happy!
0:09:36 > 0:09:37'That is superb!
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- 'McCourt taking it in good part.' - Ha! Ha!
0:09:40 > 0:09:44'So it's Wood 1-0 McCourt.' DICK LAUGHS
0:09:44 > 0:09:46CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:09:48 > 0:09:51# Here's a game But what was the game name?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53# Here's a game But what was the game name?
0:09:53 > 0:09:56# Here's a game But what was the game name...? #
0:09:58 > 0:10:00# Here's a game But what was the game name?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03# Here's a game But what was the game name?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06# Here's a game But what was the game name?
0:10:06 > 0:10:10# Here's a game But what was its name? #
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- SIREN BLARES - Nae body move!
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- # Bursting on the scene with a... - Nae body move!
0:10:15 > 0:10:18# He's a Geordie cop with a case to prove
0:10:18 > 0:10:21# So gangsters, burglars and cheeky juveniles
0:10:21 > 0:10:26# He'll get you banged to rights and slap you in the Batt Files
0:10:26 > 0:10:28# Batt Files! #
0:10:31 > 0:10:34- GEORDIE ACCENT:- The name's Batt, Harold Batt.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38I'm not wild about Harold. However...
0:10:38 > 0:10:41# I'm just wild about Harry
0:10:41 > 0:10:43# And he's just wild about me! #
0:10:43 > 0:10:47So, it's Harry to me mates...
0:10:49 > 0:10:52..and it's Sir to youse lot!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- Now, then, these... - TING!
0:10:54 > 0:10:57..these are the Batt Files -
0:10:57 > 0:11:01recording all the heinous crimes what took place
0:11:01 > 0:11:04against taste and decency in the Bungalow.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Look at this.
0:11:06 > 0:11:12"25th September 2004. Dick and Dom behaving in a juvenile manner."
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Come on! You're not doing it!" Get up. Come on!
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- Oi!- Put that butt out.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23I like to think of meself as harsh, a bit petty.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- He's a fair cop! Hee hee!- Shut it!
0:11:26 > 0:11:32Now, then, allowing celebrities into the Bungalow was a big mistake.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34It all starts all innocent, like,
0:11:34 > 0:11:37with a harmless Blobby here...
0:11:38 > 0:11:41..a cheeky McFly there...
0:11:41 > 0:11:44# Rockin' all over the world! #
0:11:44 > 0:11:45But, before you know it,
0:11:45 > 0:11:49you've got hardened criminals like Carol Vorderman on the loose.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50BOGIES!
0:11:50 > 0:11:54That's why I like to have a secret word with 'em...
0:11:54 > 0:12:00down at the station for a little interrogation. Run the sting.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03# I've got you banged to rights And you're coming down the station
0:12:03 > 0:12:06# I'll grab meself a cuppa Then I'll start interrogation
0:12:06 > 0:12:09# If I didnae spot your secret word in the interview
0:12:09 > 0:12:11# I'll have to drop the charges
0:12:11 > 0:12:14# Give you points and let you go...away! #
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- There is your word.- OK.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24- Ahem!- Right, here he comes to interrogate you.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26SIREN BLARES
0:12:33 > 0:12:36This interview starts...now.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40All right, Mr Mackintosh, we've heard all about you.
0:12:40 > 0:12:45We know you were at the scene of the crime,
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- so take me through your normal working day in that office.- Well...
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Normally I get in and at my desk
0:12:52 > 0:12:56I have Harry Hamster, Mick Mouse and John Gerbil. And...
0:12:56 > 0:12:59You've got an array of furry pets? That's their surnames.
0:12:59 > 0:13:04John Gerbil gets the coffees in and Mick gets croissants at 11.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Right.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10Mick Mouse and John Gerbil normally get pizzas at lunchtime
0:13:10 > 0:13:14and Harry Hamster, Mick Mouse and John Gerbil
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- will normally get...- Wait a minute!
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Run me through them again.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Harry Hamster, Mick Mouse and John Gerbil.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- John Gerbil, yeah?- Mick Mouse. - Mick Mouse.- Harry Hamster.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Harry Hamster? All known associates?- Yeah.- Right.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29OK. Just a minute.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Let's have a look at this.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33For the benefit of the tape,
0:13:33 > 0:13:36I am now showing the suspect
0:13:36 > 0:13:39a small cream, custard and jelly-based dessert.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41I'd like you to tell me about that.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- I'm warning you, don't trifle with me.- OK. Well...
0:13:45 > 0:13:49That's Harry Hamster's. Or maybe John Gerbil's.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51I did see Mick Mouse with one
0:13:51 > 0:13:55- but I think it was a yoghurt. - Yoghurt, you say? And, erm...
0:13:55 > 0:13:57does the gerbil like yoghurt?
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Gerbil likes yoghurts but Mouse really likes...
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Mouse really likes it? - The Mouse, yeah.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07The hamster, the gerbil and the mouse?
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Time's up! You've been interrogated. ..So...
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Harry Batt - charge him or release him?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16What's the word?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Gerbil!
0:14:21 > 0:14:26- Oh!- Get in, son! Get in! - How did you manage that?
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Ye cannae keep a good copper doon! That's it, son.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Aye, of course, it didn't always run to plan
0:14:33 > 0:14:36with those cunning little Bungalowheads.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40See if you can guess what the, erm...word is here.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44Now, I'm on a bit of a roll here. Right?
0:14:44 > 0:14:47And I'm going to make sure this charge sticks to you
0:14:47 > 0:14:50- like poo to a blanket.- Come on!
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Shut it! This is hard copper talk.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55What were you up to this morning?
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Erm...I went down the shop this morning and I bought, erm...
0:14:59 > 0:15:02erm...
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Oh, yeah, I bought a bag of chips.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- You bought a bag of chips?- Yes.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11- At the shop?- Erm...yeah.- Was it a chip shop?- No, it was, erm...
0:15:11 > 0:15:16- the grocery shop. - The GROCERY shop, was it?! Eh?
0:15:16 > 0:15:20The grocery shop? Is that where you get chips nowadays?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Do you chip your own potatoes when you've got them?
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Erm...well, I kind of get the potato out and into chips
0:15:27 > 0:15:31and then wrap carrot around it, so it's a vegetable.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33You get the potato and wrap carrot around it?
0:15:33 > 0:15:37And then eat the, erm... what's it called?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39The, erm...
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- the yellow bit of the chip. You know...- The yellow bit.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46- The, erm...crunchy bit. - The crunchy bit. The batter?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Are you talking about batter, pet? - What's batter?- Batter?!
0:15:49 > 0:15:53It's the stuff that's wrapped round the fish, isn't it?
0:15:53 > 0:15:57- I'm not talking about fish. - I'm not interested.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01For the tape, I'm showing the witness a tin of pineapple chunks.
0:16:01 > 0:16:06- What have you to say about that? - It's pineapple.- Where's it from?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- The grocery store.- The grocery? - I think.- Anything else...?
0:16:10 > 0:16:13OK, that's it. That's it.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Charge her or release her? What's the word?
0:16:16 > 0:16:20If you get this, I'll give you a big sloppy snog.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- Ch... Groceries! It's not that, is it?- No, it's not!
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- YEAH!- NO!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I can't believe it!
0:16:31 > 0:16:36Pure evil. Well, that's enough of that for the time being.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39You don't want too much messing with your heid, man.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43- It'll drive you BATTS! - You're nicked, dolly chops!
0:16:45 > 0:16:48# Here's an odd bit that didn't really fit
0:16:48 > 0:16:52# The show is often random But then so are Dick and Dom
0:16:52 > 0:16:56# It's a totally random moment. #
0:16:56 > 0:16:59PHHHHHRRRRRTTTT!
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Neigh!
0:17:08 > 0:17:09WHIP CRACK!
0:17:09 > 0:17:11CLIP-CLOP!
0:17:11 > 0:17:14LATIN DANCE TUNE PLAYS
0:17:29 > 0:17:32CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:17:35 > 0:17:38# Here's the pick of the show And a long-running blow
0:17:38 > 0:17:42# To the hoity-toity folk Who don't enjoy a joke
0:17:42 > 0:17:45# If you've got a heart condition or a nervous disposition
0:17:45 > 0:17:47# Go and buy some earplugs and call a good physician
0:17:47 > 0:17:52- # Cos we're gonna shout- Bogies! - From every building in the world! #
0:17:52 > 0:17:54BOGIES!
0:17:54 > 0:17:59Some people say that we don't express ourselves enough,
0:17:59 > 0:18:03so we've come to the home of expression - the Saatchi Gallery.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Yes. Here, amongst the work of Damien Hirst and Tracy Emin,
0:18:07 > 0:18:11we will explore ourselves through an art known as...Bogies!
0:18:11 > 0:18:13# ..Express yourself... #
0:18:13 > 0:18:16'Welcome to the Saatchi Gallery, founded in 1985.'
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- Bogies.- 'And Wood produces the first bogie
0:18:20 > 0:18:25'in its history - 0.7 on the snot-o-meter.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27'Good start.'
0:18:32 > 0:18:37'McCourt...interacting with one of the exhibits...'
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Bogies!
0:18:38 > 0:18:40'..before he delivers us a 1.9.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43'More than enough to keep him in the game.'
0:18:47 > 0:18:48Bogies.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50'Wood, 2.4.'
0:18:52 > 0:18:56- 'McCourt standing by the formaldehyde.'- Bogies!
0:18:56 > 0:19:00'Perfectly preserving his place with a 3.6. Good bogey.'
0:19:01 > 0:19:04'Now...
0:19:04 > 0:19:09- 'Wood refusing to be distracted despite McCourt's efforts.'- BOGIES.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13'And delivering us a 4.8. Sweet as a nut!'
0:19:14 > 0:19:16'Back to McCourt.'
0:19:18 > 0:19:20BOGIES!
0:19:20 > 0:19:23'Giving that lady the full benefit of his 5.2.'
0:19:27 > 0:19:29'It took it out of him there.'
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- BOGIES!- 'Nice bogey by Wood!
0:19:34 > 0:19:37'That's a 6.1! Indeed!' WOMAN SNIGGERS
0:19:37 > 0:19:41'The crowd well pleased with that effort.'
0:19:43 > 0:19:45'6.1 to beat.'
0:19:45 > 0:19:46BOGIES!
0:19:46 > 0:19:51'Surely it's there! It's a 7.1! A point above the previous effort.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54'A little enquiry there from a member of the crowd.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58'Pleased with the outcome, as is Jack Lemmon.'
0:20:00 > 0:20:03'Now, Wood, the man on form.'
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Bogies!
0:20:05 > 0:20:09'Hitting a 7.5. There's one in the eye for the critics.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12'There's a painting of a man with no trousers.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14'Good work.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17'McCourt...
0:20:17 > 0:20:21'will be feeling that old familiar tingle.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23'But will he have the guts?'
0:20:23 > 0:20:25BOGIES!
0:20:25 > 0:20:28'He certainly has! That's an 8.4.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31'Right from the bottom of his lower intestine
0:20:31 > 0:20:35'There's a man who knows a good bogey when he hears one.'
0:20:37 > 0:20:40'What an intriguing match.'
0:20:43 > 0:20:47'Wood...having expressed self-doubt'
0:20:51 > 0:20:53BOGIES!
0:20:53 > 0:20:57'A massive bogey! That's an 8.6!'
0:20:57 > 0:21:02'The impression on the face of McCourt is clear.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04'He's got a lot of work to do now.'
0:21:04 > 0:21:05BOGIES!
0:21:05 > 0:21:09'But he's the very man for the job. There's a 9.8.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13'Taking the pain barrier to new heights.'
0:21:13 > 0:21:15BOGIES!
0:21:15 > 0:21:18'Wood concedes and McCourt steals the match.'
0:21:19 > 0:21:22# Here's a game of What Was Its Name? #
0:21:22 > 0:21:24And the game name was...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29# Disco inferno! #
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Yes, Gurn Baby Gurn, a Bungalow game where Melvin O'Doom
0:21:33 > 0:21:37had to persuade as many members of the public as possible
0:21:37 > 0:21:41to accompany him in his 45-second gurnathon.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42# Gurn baby gurn
0:21:42 > 0:21:45# Ah, yeah
0:21:45 > 0:21:46# Gurn baby gurn
0:21:46 > 0:21:48# Gurn that mother down
0:21:48 > 0:21:50# Gurn baby gurn
0:21:50 > 0:21:51# Disco inferno! #
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Oooh, eek.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58Time for the mess-fest that is our muck-muck finale
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I'm sorry, love, I'll have to stop you there.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03It's all right, carry on.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07- As I was...- No, that's it! I have to stop you there.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Because today's finale is both informative, entertaining,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- and informative. - But it will be messy.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Yes, and informative! It's our version of Spelling Bee.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- And everyone gets splattered. - And educated.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23You can learn and have fun at the same time.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26But there is creamy muck-muck!
0:22:26 > 0:22:30Oh, yes, there is creamy muck-muck.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Good morning, I'm Hairy Holmes
0:22:39 > 0:22:41and welcome to Muck Spell -
0:22:41 > 0:22:46the game where these young contestants step up to spell
0:22:46 > 0:22:50a selection of words. Nina, nice of you to join us
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- How are you today?- I'm all right, how are you, Hairy?
0:22:53 > 0:22:57As you can see, Nina's in fine fettle.
0:22:57 > 0:23:03OK, let's move on. The first competitor to step up is Lewis.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08OK, Lewis, how are you feeling?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Confident.- OK.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Let's spell.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17First word is cat.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19C-A-T, cat.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Very good, correct.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Moving on, second word.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Bus.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29B-U-S, bus.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31- Very good.- NINA: That's easy!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Thank you, Nina.
0:23:33 > 0:23:38OK, it'll get a little bit more tricky for you now, Lewis
0:23:38 > 0:23:42with your third word which is...
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Chief Mangosuthu Butholezi.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48NINA: Come along! Come along!
0:23:48 > 0:23:51No idea? Well, I'm sorry Lewis,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53You're going to have to have...that.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Take a seat, Lewis.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Next contestant straight up, please.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Who's up next? Dominic Wood. How are you feeling?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06A little bit... Carry on.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08OK, Dom...
0:24:08 > 0:24:11your first word, spell...
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Bin.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15B-I-N, bin.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Very good.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Second word spell...
0:24:18 > 0:24:20And.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Spell what?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Spell "and".
0:24:24 > 0:24:25A-N-D, and.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Correct.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28You've done very well, Dominic.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Can you get this third and final word?
0:24:31 > 0:24:35Dominic, spell...
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Any idea there, Dominic?
0:24:42 > 0:24:43F-U-N...
0:24:43 > 0:24:48- No, that's just absolutely...- No! - Rubbish!- It was right!
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Right, sit down, please, Dominic.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54NINA: Unfair, unfair!
0:24:54 > 0:24:56You can shut up!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Next competitor up, please.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03- OK, how are you feeling, Keeley? - Confident.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Right, your first word is bat.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08B-A-T, bat.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11That's correct, she's doing well.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13NINA: Yes, she very good.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14Second word, car.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17C-O-R-E
0:25:17 > 0:25:21No, as in automobile, I think that's my accent foxing you.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23You get a second go. Car.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- C-A-R- That's correct, well done.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27NINA: Yeah, yeah!
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Your third and final word, Keeley,
0:25:30 > 0:25:34spell...
0:25:38 > 0:25:40LAUGHTER
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Keeley, I've got to press you to spell that for us.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- NINA CACKLES - No.- Any idea?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48No? Well, I'm afraid, Keeley...
0:25:48 > 0:25:50You can sit down with that.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54OK, the next competitor to come up, please.
0:25:54 > 0:25:59OK, Lee, your first word, spell pig.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- P-I-G, pig.- That's correct.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- NINA: Oink, oink! - Spell cow.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05C-O-Y
0:26:05 > 0:26:08I think that's my accent again, COW.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11- C-O-W.- That's the one!
0:26:11 > 0:26:14And your third and final word,
0:26:14 > 0:26:16spell...
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- NINA: Oh, yeah!- Can you spell that?
0:26:29 > 0:26:30- No.- No, right...
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Sorry, Lee, away you go.
0:26:35 > 0:26:40Right, so, the next competitor, please.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43- NINA: Quick! - As quick as you can, Rachel.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- Step up here, my lovely. - NINA: Quickly!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Spell jam.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52- J-A-M, jam.- Very good. Number two.
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Spell wig.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56W-I-G
0:26:56 > 0:26:59And your third and final one, spell...
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Spell...
0:27:02 > 0:27:06A SQUEAKY SONG PLAYS
0:27:06 > 0:27:07LAUGHTER
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Could you spell that for us, Rachel?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Erm...
0:27:11 > 0:27:15No, I'm afraid you can't. Can we have the last competitor, please?
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- Richard McCourt, how are you feeling?- Bit nervous.
0:27:20 > 0:27:21It's all getting very tense.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Richard, first word, spell big.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- B-I-G, big.- NINA: Oh, yeah.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Very good. Second word, spell...
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Egg.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32E-G-G, egg.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36And for your third and final word, spell...
0:27:37 > 0:27:40G-O-G-O-G-O. GO, GO, GO!
0:27:40 > 0:27:44MUSIC: "The Ace Of Spades" by Motorhead
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:47 > 0:27:50E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk