0:00:05 > 0:00:08Argh!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# He's the greatest
0:00:10 > 0:00:11# He's fantastic
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger he'll be there
0:00:14 > 0:00:15# He's the ace
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# He's amazing
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse
0:00:24 > 0:00:32# Danger Mouse. Danger Mouse. #
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Is this the end for Danger Mouse and Penfold?
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Will the Nagathrondian space beast eat them?
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Wait a minute, did I miss the whole episode?
0:00:46 > 0:00:49I mean, it did take me a while to find my car keys this morning,
0:00:49 > 0:00:50but I wasn't that late.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51He's got a point, Penfold.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54- Can you remember how we got here? - No, Chief.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56One minute I was mopping the bathroom back at HQ,
0:00:56 > 0:00:59and then, "bam" I'm here being chased by a...
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Nagathrondian space beast! Argh!
0:01:06 > 0:01:10Oh, well done, Chief. I don't even remember you setting the trap.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14- Funny, neither do I.- You can't remember because it's my trap.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Know how you can tell? Because it works.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- Jeopardy Mouse! The world's best secret agent!- Hm, hm.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Second best secret agent. Erm... Joint best.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Oh, carrots! It's not a competition.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Well, while you two were running around like headless chickens,
0:01:31 > 0:01:34I've set 35 standard rope snares,
0:01:34 > 0:01:37one textbook log-rope-ram...
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Argh!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43..and a one regulation 10 by 10 pit drop.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Argh!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47PENFOLD WHIMPERS
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Meh, rather sloppy fern work.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Where on earth are we, anyway?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56This is a bit of a guess, but is it France?
0:01:57 > 0:02:01Sorry, boys, but wherever we are, it ain't earth.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Welcome to the first-ever, transgalactic battle show starring
0:02:12 > 0:02:15the greatest warriors in the universe,
0:02:15 > 0:02:17and it's named after who else? Me!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- It's the Quark Games! - Hey, look who's got a big head.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Hey, at least I've got a head, all right?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26For only 99 wumas, you can watch them compete against monsters in 4D,
0:02:26 > 0:02:29smell-ovision, taste-ovision,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31and get this, it's in colour.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33No refunds.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Welcome to the Quark Games!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45I can't believe he kidnapped us to appear in his twisted game show.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Worried you're not up to it? Don't worry, I'll protect you.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I don't need protecting, and I don't play games. I'm a super spy.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Well, I suppose you can just forfeit and I'll take the trophy.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58There's a trophy? Oh, you're going down, Loser Mouse.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59I think there's been a mistake.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01I'm more of a worrier than a warrior.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03INDISTINGUISHABLE RESPONSE
0:03:03 > 0:03:05No, it's completely different. Hello?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Stick with me, Penfold, we'll be victorious. We always are.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Oh, at least there's lot of places to hide.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Eek.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Argh!- Stand tall, stand ready, stand...
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Stand somewhere else!
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Deploy emergency wing suit!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Crikey! I hope you've got one of those, Chief.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Of course I have, but folding it back in my pocket
0:03:40 > 0:03:43can be a nightmare. Ah, here's our...
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Oh, crumbs!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Danger Mouse has tamed a fire-breathing, flying
0:04:01 > 0:04:04dragon monster!
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Piranhas!- Oh, I like the sound of that for a team name.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15What do you think, Penfold, should we be "The Piranhas"?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- Alien piranhas!- Meh, not sure, a bit over the top.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Oh, I see. Oh, don't worry, I've got just the thing. Ta-da!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Oh!
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Yes!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Argh!
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Don't panic, I'll find you, eventually.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38And in only the time it takes to say,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41"Danger Mouse defeats wave after wave of competitors",
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Danger Mouse defeats wave after wave of competitors.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Meanwhile, Jeopardy Mouse is matching our hero, victory for victory.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50What, are you kidding me? This is meant to take weeks.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Nobody's going to watch this garbage.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56- I'm going to get crushed in the ratings.- Hey, buy a brain.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- The camera's on. - It's pure excitement, ain't it?
0:04:59 > 0:05:03But just wait till you see what I have in round two. Starting now!
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Cor! Quark might be an evil, insane alien megalomaniac,
0:05:14 > 0:05:17but at least he's laid on some home comforts.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- You again!- "Loo again!"
0:05:21 > 0:05:26I mean, "You, again!" I haven't seen you for at least 10 episodes.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Did you think there was just a normal toilet
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- sitting in the middle of an alien jungle?- Maybe.
0:05:32 > 0:05:38- There was a phone box earlier. - Nobody sits on Dr Loo-cifer.- Oh.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Argh!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Aren't you worried about what's happened to Penfold?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- He usually turns up. - But he could be miles from here.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Help me!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Told you.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Aren't you coming to help? What kind of secret agent are you?
0:05:55 > 0:05:57One who likes a spot of fishing.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01Urgh!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Argh!
0:06:05 > 0:06:08You've sat on me for the last time!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Get back, you sinister cistern!
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Ha! This suit is designed out of wipe-clean, antibacterial,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21stain-resistant polycarbonate and...
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Ew, ew, some of it went in my mouth!
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Say, "ah".- What?
0:06:29 > 0:06:35Oh, ouch! Oh, no, please! Ouch! Bad piranha! Argh! No! Argh! Bite-y!
0:06:37 > 0:06:42- That's giving them something to chew on.- Cor, thanks a million, Chief.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45All right, Quark. You've had your fun, now let us go.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Yeah, give me my trophy and let us go.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Give you the trophy?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Well, I don't see you vanquishing any mad toilets.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I had him right where I wanted...
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- Oh, so getting flattened was part of the plan, was it?- Happy thoughts.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Happy thoughts. - Silence, squabbling Earthlings!
0:06:59 > 0:07:02There can only be one winner of the Quark Games.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05You must fight each other to the end.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07And if we refuse? Jinx.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Then I will paint planet Earth white,
0:07:09 > 0:07:14and use it as the ball in a game of intergalactic ping-pong.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Screening Saturday nights at 9pm for a huge subscription fee!
0:07:21 > 0:07:22No refunds.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Crumbs, that's a good answer.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Looks like we don't have a choice. A fight to the end it is.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32- Don't worry, I'll make it quick. - Yeah? I'll make it quicker-er.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35- That's not even a word.- It might be. - And yet it's not.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39Will you two stop arguing, and let's think of a way out of this?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42THEY WHISPER
0:07:45 > 0:07:49There it is, folks. The moment you been waiting for. The grand finale.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Who will be the ultimate Warrior?
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Will it be Danger Mouse,
0:07:52 > 0:07:57- Jeopardy Mouse or the other one who's scared of toilets?- Charming.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01- Intergalactic warriors!- Fight! - Sponsored by Quark Scratchings.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03They ain't pork but you'll wish they was!
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- Argh!- Argh!- Argh!
0:08:08 > 0:08:11One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- Hey, no cheating.- No, no, no.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- This sucks.- No-one wants to watch stupid thumb fighting.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Time to check out what the competitors
0:08:18 > 0:08:21said about each other in the pre-match interviews.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Jeopardy Mouse, what can I say?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I mean, I'm a natural, gifted, exciting,
0:08:26 > 0:08:28spur-of-the-moment kind of secret agent.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31She's more of a boring, learned it from a book, type.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Not a very good book, either.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Ooft! That's not part of thumb war!
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Danger Mouse is the most irresponsible, immature
0:08:39 > 0:08:43and unprofessional spy I have ever had the misfortune to work with.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Call me immature?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Argh!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Remember, kids, these are trained super spies.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Do not try this at home,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59but if you do, wear a helmet. In fact, always wear a helmet.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Everything's safer, that way.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02We've got a hit!
0:09:02 > 0:09:03- Argh!- Argh!
0:09:03 > 0:09:04Stop it, you two.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Don't you care what the universe thinks?
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Wouldn't you rather keep your dignity
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- than win some silly game show? - No.- No.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Crikey. Where did everyone go?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Argh!- Boo-ya!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Regulation pit trap.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23That's how a professional spy does it. By the book.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Argh!- Hey!
0:09:26 > 0:09:31- We got a winner! It's... Uh.. Penfor.- It's "Penfold", doofus.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Sorry. Penfor Doofus!
0:09:34 > 0:09:37The winner will now raise his trophy and triumph!
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Crumbs, this trophy's heavy.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- Hang on. There.- Oh, thanks.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Could you give me a hand with this bucket?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- Oh, phew. A soft landing.- Hm, hm.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Eww!
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Some friends of ours would like a word, Quark.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09It's only... folks.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13- Don't take it personal.- It was his idea! I want to go solo.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Bravo, Penfold.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- Your idea to distract Quark worked brilliantly.- Eh?
0:10:20 > 0:10:23I mean... Yes, it did, didn't it?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- I'm driving. - Why do you get to drive?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Oh, no, here we go again.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34You're driving on the wrong side of the road!
0:10:34 > 0:10:38There is no road, it's space! Oops. Almost hit that planet.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- I'm taking the controls. - Are we there yet?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- Are we there yet?- No.- No.- Jinx.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48And so our heroes head back to earth, where they'll find that
0:10:48 > 0:10:51the planet has been taken over by a superior robotic life form.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Tune in next week for more thrills, puny humans.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58# He's the greatest
0:10:58 > 0:11:00# He's fantastic
0:11:00 > 0:11:03# Wherever there is danger, he'll be there
0:11:03 > 0:11:06# Danger Mouse
0:11:06 > 0:11:09# Danger Mouse
0:11:09 > 0:11:13# Danger Mouse. #