Never Say Clever Again

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0:00:08 > 0:00:11# He's the greatest He's fantastic

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

0:00:14 > 0:00:17# He's the ace He's amazing

0:00:17 > 0:00:21# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Danger Mouse

0:00:27 > 0:00:32# Danger Mo-o-o-use! #

0:00:38 > 0:00:40As we open this week's episode,

0:00:40 > 0:00:43all the world's leaders languish in a lunar prison.

0:00:43 > 0:00:46What evil circumstances could have brought this about?

0:00:46 > 0:00:47I have no idea.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Honestly, I went to the loo for five minutes -

0:00:49 > 0:00:52I come back and there's THIS mess.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Meanwhile, back on Earth, the disappearance of their

0:00:55 > 0:00:57political masters has sent the people

0:00:57 > 0:00:59into a frenzy of panic and confusion.

0:00:59 > 0:01:00HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:01:00 > 0:01:02A frenzy of panic and confusion.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05SCREAMING Thank you.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08But who could be behind a scheme of such cunning?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Such boldness?

0:01:10 > 0:01:11Oh, well, yes, him - that figures.

0:01:11 > 0:01:15Now that I am ze unrivalled supreme leader of the world,

0:01:15 > 0:01:17all that remains...

0:01:17 > 0:01:20is for me to lounge around all day, eating chocolate.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22VEHICLE BEEPS

0:01:22 > 0:01:24'This throne is reversing. This throne is reversing.'

0:01:24 > 0:01:27I really should have ordered the throne

0:01:27 > 0:01:30with the escalator for the extra £12.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34Luckily for mankind, on the moon, all is not as it seems.

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Yes, it's me, Danger Mouse.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46Pleased to BEAT you.

0:01:46 > 0:01:47THEY CHEER

0:01:47 > 0:01:49HE GASPS

0:01:49 > 0:01:51ALARM BLARES

0:01:51 > 0:01:52HE GASPS

0:01:52 > 0:01:54MACHINES WHIR

0:02:03 > 0:02:04This way.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Ooh, heck.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10Hurry, chief, we don't want to get a ticket...

0:02:10 > 0:02:12or be blasted to smithereens.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Your stop, Mr President.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24Your Eminence, I'll text you that cookie recipe.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27A pleasure rescuing you, Madam Prime Minister.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33STILETTO GRUNTS

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Incoming!

0:02:36 > 0:02:37Eh?

0:02:40 > 0:02:41HE SCREAMS

0:02:42 > 0:02:43Oof!

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Ooh! Curse you, Danger Mouse.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47HE GRUNTS

0:02:48 > 0:02:49Now, look here, danger agents,

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Baron Greenback's latest plan

0:02:51 > 0:02:53came within a well-groomed whisker of working

0:02:53 > 0:02:56and, apart from Danger Mouse, not one of you saw it coming.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59We can't all be supersmart, I suppose.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Fortunately, Professor Squawkencluck has invented

0:03:02 > 0:03:03a way to make you all supersmart.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Oh.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08By harnessing the brain DNA of the world's smartest scientists,

0:03:08 > 0:03:10I have produced it a powerful intelligence-boosting

0:03:10 > 0:03:12supplement, which I call...

0:03:15 > 0:03:17..smart celery.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19"Smart" because it makes you smarter,

0:03:19 > 0:03:21and "celery", well...

0:03:21 > 0:03:22for obvious reasons.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26Mark my words - now we have this have this new smart celery,

0:03:26 > 0:03:29the Baron won't know what hit him.

0:03:29 > 0:03:30Oh, won't I, Colonel?

0:03:32 > 0:03:36Project Stupid is coming together nicely.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38- I don't like it, Penfold. - Me, too, Chief -

0:03:38 > 0:03:40tastes horrible and gets stuck in your teeth,

0:03:40 > 0:03:43but if it makes you supersmart, like the professor said...

0:03:43 > 0:03:46Thanks, Penfold, but I'll rely on good, old-fashioned training

0:03:46 > 0:03:47and natural awesomeness.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49CRUNCH!

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Smart celery?

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Ha! I've never heard of anything so...

0:03:57 > 0:03:59I know origami.

0:03:59 > 0:04:00..stupid.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03"6 x 12 = 72. The Boxer Rebellion was not about angry dogs.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05"The Great Fire Of London was not really great.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07"Cricket is not played with actual crickets."

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Good grief, Penfold. Are you all right?

0:04:09 > 0:04:10Crumbs...!

0:04:10 > 0:04:12are small particles of bread.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Here...it's my contention that this smart celery is

0:04:14 > 0:04:18having a demonstrably beneficial effect on my cognition.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Don't worry, I haven't got a clue what he's talking about, either.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Something's happened, DM.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25You can say that again, Colonel.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Something's happened, DM.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31That joke has been done 3,467,000 times since the dawn of television.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34- What's that? - Nothing, Colonel, we're on our way.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40THIS is more like it -

0:04:40 > 0:04:42a full-on action sequence with pumping rock soundtrack.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45Come on, brainbox.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Time to stop these aliens

0:04:47 > 0:04:49with a little Danger Mouse-style karat...eh?

0:04:51 > 0:04:54No need, colleague, I noticed the 1% shift in the orbit of Saturn,

0:04:54 > 0:04:57which suggests the approach of a hostile alien craft.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59And it wasn't down to the eccentricities

0:04:59 > 0:05:02of gravitational perturbations either, let me tell you.

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Huh?

0:05:05 > 0:05:08- And just like that...- Phooey! - ..the newly-supersmart

0:05:08 > 0:05:10danger agents are thwarting the world's villains

0:05:10 > 0:05:13before you can say, "Cerebellum-boosting celery."

0:05:13 > 0:05:17Thanks to smart celery, we've got everything under control.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Why don't you take some time off?

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Go and visit the celery fields of Holland -

0:05:21 > 0:05:23I hear they're quite remarkable.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25- Bite?- No, thanks, I'm good.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26CRUNCH!

0:05:27 > 0:05:30It's "I'm fine," not, "I'm good."

0:05:30 > 0:05:32We're not in Connecticut.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Now for phase two of Project Stupid.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40- ALARM BLARES - Oh.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Inventing cold fusion and providing the Earth

0:05:43 > 0:05:46with limitless energy will have to wait, because that ping...

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Indicates an minuscule increase in seismic activity.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Combined with the slight rise in the price of rocket fuel, that means...

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Baron Greenback is planning to re-kidnap the world leaders and...

0:05:55 > 0:05:57Put them on his moon prison...

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Re-crowning himself ruler of the world...

0:05:59 > 0:06:00- ALL:- Again!

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Go, danger geeks.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Hey, boss, they've-a got us surrounded.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Yes, but I know something they don't about...

0:06:16 > 0:06:18smart celery.

0:06:18 > 0:06:19Apprehend that villainous...

0:06:19 > 0:06:21CUCKOO!

0:06:21 > 0:06:22Villain...?

0:06:22 > 0:06:24That word sounds funny.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Here, whath that thing there?

0:06:26 > 0:06:29That celery isn't as smart as they think.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32In fact, it's about to make them very...

0:06:32 > 0:06:33CUCKOO!

0:06:34 > 0:06:36..very...

0:06:36 > 0:06:37HE GIGGLES

0:06:37 > 0:06:38..very...

0:06:38 > 0:06:41I can't swim! I can't swim!

0:06:41 > 0:06:43- ..very...- What?!- ..stupid!

0:06:43 > 0:06:45I only asked.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47No, Stiletto, look.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49I'm a wizard.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Put one down, you horrible man.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58Stop!

0:06:58 > 0:07:00HE GASPS

0:07:00 > 0:07:02- Happy birthday, Your Majesty. - HE GIGGLES

0:07:04 > 0:07:06With the danger agents' brains

0:07:06 > 0:07:08reduced to the size of peanuts,

0:07:08 > 0:07:10where is Danger Mouse

0:07:10 > 0:07:12in the Earth's hour of need?

0:07:15 > 0:07:17HE GRUNTS

0:07:20 > 0:07:21Thanks, chaps,

0:07:21 > 0:07:22but this extreme sport

0:07:22 > 0:07:24still isn't extreme enough for me.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Yes, DM? Come on, I haven't got all custard.

0:07:31 > 0:07:32Erm, you called me, Colonel.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Penfold, you do the talkie... Need tea.

0:07:35 > 0:07:36Cheese? Ow!

0:07:36 > 0:07:38They've turned you into a wall.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Good grief, Penfold, what's happened to you?

0:07:40 > 0:07:42I'll be right there.

0:07:42 > 0:07:43Ow!

0:07:43 > 0:07:45Sabotage?

0:07:45 > 0:07:46Nonsense, Danger Mouse.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49The only way to do that would be to tamper with my genius DNA.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51But that would take a brain of such half-witted,

0:07:51 > 0:07:53empty-headed stupidity.

0:07:53 > 0:07:54Hm.

0:07:55 > 0:07:56SHE GASPS

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Erm...science, numbers,

0:08:00 > 0:08:01clever words.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Odd - even Pandaminion isn't dumb enough.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Da-da da-da-da!

0:08:07 > 0:08:09No, but HE is.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Nero's DNA must have polluted the gene pool.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15Oh, a sausage!

0:08:15 > 0:08:17NERO BARKS AND SQUEAKS

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Come on, we've got a devious toad to catch.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22NERO LAUGHS

0:08:25 > 0:08:30Once we have imprisoned the leaders of the world on the moon,

0:08:30 > 0:08:33- I- can return to Earth as supreme ruler

0:08:33 > 0:08:37and eat chocolate all day long,

0:08:37 > 0:08:40even after I've brushed my teeth.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42HE YELPS

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Three second rule! Three second rule!

0:08:47 > 0:08:50Right, Penfold, all you have to do is keep her steady.

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Who said that?

0:08:51 > 0:08:53It's me, Danger Mouse.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55I'm making the spacewalk across to the Baron's ship.

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Now hold her steady.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Evasive manoeuvres!

0:09:00 > 0:09:01Stay with her, Penfold.

0:09:01 > 0:09:03Go right, Penfold. Go right.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Got you, Chief!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Not YOU - the ship.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh, good grief.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14I've got to hand it to you, Baron,

0:09:14 > 0:09:16you outsmarted us all this time.

0:09:16 > 0:09:17(Mind you, that's not saying much.)

0:09:17 > 0:09:21But of course. Project Stupid was a stroke of genius,

0:09:21 > 0:09:23and now I shall return to Earth

0:09:23 > 0:09:26to begin my reign of terror...!

0:09:26 > 0:09:28and snacking.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30Well, enjoy your trip(!)

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Mmm.

0:09:35 > 0:09:36Give that to me!

0:09:37 > 0:09:40The problem with you, Danger Mouse,

0:09:40 > 0:09:43is that you don't know when you're beetroot.

0:09:45 > 0:09:46- CUCKOO! - I mean when you're Battenberg.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Bossa nova! Backgammon!

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Chocolate-covered celery?

0:09:51 > 0:09:54Baron, perhaps you'd like to let us out now.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55I'm a ballerina.

0:09:59 > 0:10:00Thank you, Baron.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Me think me open a window.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04- AIRLOCK WHOOSHES ALL:- No-o-o!

0:10:07 > 0:10:09- HE GASPS - Penfold?!

0:10:09 > 0:10:12It's all right, Chief - this is normal, non-smart celery...

0:10:13 > 0:10:16- GULP! - ..and it IS 'orrible.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21And so, thanks to our moderately-intelligent

0:10:21 > 0:10:24danger agents, the world is safe.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Ooh, someone's left chocolate.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Don't mind if I do.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Mm! Tune in next week, when...

0:10:30 > 0:10:34Dreary Moose and Pain Foal tumble-dry their faces.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37What does that word say? Wait a minute, what is this place?

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Is this a big, furry biscuit?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41HE CHOMPS, MIC SCREECHES

0:10:41 > 0:10:43# He's the greatest He's fantastic

0:10:43 > 0:10:44# Wherever there is danger

0:10:44 > 0:10:46# He'll be there

0:10:46 > 0:10:49# Danger Mouse

0:10:49 > 0:10:51# Danger Mouse

0:10:51 > 0:10:56# Danger Mo-o-o-use! #