0:00:08 > 0:00:10# He's the greatest, he's fantastic
0:00:10 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger He'll be there
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# He's the ace, he's amazing
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best
0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Danger Mouse
0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Danger Mouse! #
0:00:38 > 0:00:39Transylvania -
0:00:39 > 0:00:42in reality, a modern province of Romania,
0:00:42 > 0:00:45but thanks to lazy writing in this show,
0:00:45 > 0:00:49a terrifying place, populated by hunchbacked peasants and monsters.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50MONSTER ROARS
0:00:50 > 0:00:53PEASANT CRIES
0:00:53 > 0:00:56And driving through this sinister landscape is the world's top
0:00:56 > 0:01:00secret agent, Danger Mouse, and his fearless sidekick, Penfold.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I can't look, I can't look!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Didn't you hear the man, Penfold? Fearless.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07- We're on a mission, Penfold, we need to focus.- On what?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10On not driving through this road barrier for a start.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12BOTH SCREAM
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Could this be the end
0:01:13 > 0:01:16for Danger Mouse and Penfold? Is it curtains?
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Oh, who am I kidding?
0:01:17 > 0:01:19The show's only just started, for heaven's sake.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22You need to work on your parking, chief!
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Hmm, I don't like it, Penfold. This place is quiet, too quiet.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- BEEP! - Hi!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32BEEP!
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Here's a plan. I'll stay in the car while you go and investigate.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Colonel K wants us to find out why all the locals are going missing.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Eek!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42No need to be scared, seems like a perfectly nice hamlet,
0:01:42 > 0:01:44with an inn called The Slaughtered Llama(!)
0:01:44 > 0:01:45PENFOLD WHIMPERS
0:01:50 > 0:01:56Hello, citizens of Transylvania. My name's Danger Mouse. And...
0:02:02 > 0:02:05There must be something good on.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:10 > 0:02:11That's strange.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22No time for that. Come on, there's nothing happening here.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24CREAKING
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Um, apart from this chap turning into a stick of broccoli.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30GRUNTING
0:02:33 > 0:02:35QUACKING
0:02:38 > 0:02:41PENFOLD SCREAMS
0:02:43 > 0:02:44QUACKING CONTINUES
0:02:49 > 0:02:51QUACK!
0:02:51 > 0:02:54BANGING
0:02:54 > 0:02:55QUACK!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Did you see that potato, chief? Just imagine the size of the chips(!)
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I'm more interested in finding out what's going on.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09I'll wager it has something to do with that...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11THUNDERCLAPS
0:03:11 > 0:03:13I just saw that place on TV.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- I know.- And we're driving towards it.- Exactly.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Yay(!)
0:03:23 > 0:03:28Oh, 'eck, this is just like one of those horror films with scary music.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Creaking doors that open by themselves.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34THUNDERCLAP
0:03:34 > 0:03:38And vampires standing at the top of the big staircases. Oh, crumbs!
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Yes, it's that time again.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47Coming live from Haunted Horror Castle, heeeeere's
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Count Duckula!
0:03:50 > 0:03:52APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Shimmy, shake your hips. Two, seven, twelve. Thank you. Thank you.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Thank you, really. You shouldn't, but please do.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00CANNED LAUGHTER
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Welcome to Count Duckula Tonight with your host, me,
0:04:08 > 0:04:12- Count Duckula. - APPLAUSE
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Are we on telly?
0:04:13 > 0:04:17You're only on the top-rated talk show in South East Transylvania.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21That's right. I broadcast 24 hours a day, every day,
0:04:21 > 0:04:24and I'm not remotely crazy from lack of sleep.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25HE SNORES
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Dance time!
0:04:27 > 0:04:30# He's a vegetarian
0:04:30 > 0:04:32# Transyl-va-va-vanian
0:04:32 > 0:04:34# Entertain-ian
0:04:34 > 0:04:36# Vampire duck. #
0:04:36 > 0:04:38CHEERING
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Um, yes, it's nice to meet you, Count Duckula.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52You must be so excited. Do you want my autograph?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54How about a T-shirt for your son?
0:04:54 > 0:04:55What's your name, kid?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Erm...
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Oh, let me tell you, it's not easy to be so famous.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- I know what you mean.- You do?
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Absolutely!
0:05:03 > 0:05:07As the greatest secret agent in the world, I'm famous everywhere.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10In Belgium, they carved a 20 foot statue of me out of chocolate.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Belgium?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18In Abu Dhabi, they're making an island in the shape of my head.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Oh, OK. My producer, who's me, is telling me that we're out of time.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25And by we, I mean you, so, adios, bigmouth.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS
0:05:26 > 0:05:28PENFOLD SCREAMS
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Cor, that was close.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32WHIRRING
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Look out, Penfold!
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Let me know when it's over!
0:05:43 > 0:05:46I think there might have been a bit of a misunderstanding.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Oh, there's no misunderstanding.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I was happy being the biggest TV star in Transylvania,
0:05:51 > 0:05:56but, thanks to you, now I need to be the biggest star in the world.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Look, we're just here to investigate reports of people going missing
0:06:00 > 0:06:02and turning into vegetables.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Oh, you mean my fans?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09QUACK!
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Yes, the vampiric vegetising effect of my broadcasts
0:06:13 > 0:06:15assures me a captive audience,
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Not to mention healthy snacks. Thank you, Doris.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Oh, I feel slimmer already!
0:06:23 > 0:06:24You fiend! Also, eugh!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Look out, chief!
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Crumbs! Hypnotic eyes, that's what he's broadcasting.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Don't look into his eyes, like I'm doing right now!
0:06:38 > 0:06:39You'll turn into...
0:06:39 > 0:06:42HE MUMBLES GIBBERISH
0:06:43 > 0:06:44Penfold! Nooooo!
0:06:46 > 0:06:51Now then, Penfold, give me the keys to the Danger Car.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Yes, master.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02All right, cage, prepare to meet mouse muscles.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06HE PANTS
0:07:06 > 0:07:09OK, cage, no more Mr Nice Mouse.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Let's see how you do against laser shoelace whips.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15This is no time for rhythmic gymnastics, DM.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17We've got an emergency.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19We interrupt this broadcast to tell you that,
0:07:19 > 0:07:24thanks to Danger Mouse, Count Duckula TV is now worldwide.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29Yes, from Berlin to Bogota, from North Korea to Willesden Green,
0:07:29 > 0:07:33the effects of Duckula's vegetising TV show are in full effect.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Behold, an actual couch potato.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Will Duckula make vegetables of us all?
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Can Danger Mouse stop him?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44And is there a way to make twirling laser shoelaces look less silly?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Doesn't look like it, does it?
0:07:51 > 0:07:52A-hem!
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Penfold!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Dear broccoli Penfold, it wasn't meant to end like this,
0:08:09 > 0:08:13you rich in vitamin C, poor in basic intellect.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14QUACK! QUACK!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Ah, it's you.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17QUACK!
0:08:20 > 0:08:21QUACK!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25QUACK!
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Asparagus spear!
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Hee, hee, hee!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Crumbs, chief. What happened?
0:08:41 > 0:08:42I found the off button,
0:08:42 > 0:08:45and I've never been more happy to see a room full of ugly,
0:08:45 > 0:08:48smelly, dim-witted Transylvanian peasants in all my life!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50You're welcome, everyone.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Whoopsie!
0:08:52 > 0:08:53PIANO CHASE MUSIC
0:08:58 > 0:08:59DISCORDANT MUSIC
0:08:59 > 0:09:01What is that hideous noise?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It sounds like someone's torturing a raccoon.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05DISCORDANT MUSIC CONTINUES
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Thank you, world.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10That was a little tune called Duckula Rules, Danger Mouse Drools.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Look, chief!
0:09:12 > 0:09:15He's using the Danger Car's revolutionary fusion reactor as
0:09:15 > 0:09:18a giant booster battery to broadcast his TV shows around the world.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19What fool gave him our car keys?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Erm... Well, I was sort of hypnotised.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Luckily for the world, I don't watch trashy TV.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Mind you, I do love street dance talent shows.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Yo! Count Duckula is in da castle!
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Sho nuff!
0:09:38 > 0:09:41He's certainly is fly, and he has mad sk...
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Chief? Noooooooo!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47MOB: Get him!
0:09:47 > 0:09:52Hey, hey! This is my show. Me! My show.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58HE GASPS
0:09:58 > 0:10:01They won't throw him off the roof, this is a kids' show.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- DANGER MOUSE SCREAMS - Chief!
0:10:06 > 0:10:09PENFOLD CRIES UNCONTROLLABLY
0:10:11 > 0:10:12WHIRRING
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- Chief!- Bad news, Duckula.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Your show's been axed.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Ha!
0:10:24 > 0:10:27You may have defeated me this time, Danger Mouse.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32- But you've taught me something about TV too.- And what's that?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36You can always reboot your show and start again.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40You've not seen the last of Count Duckula!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46CRASH!
0:10:46 > 0:10:47THEY CHUCKLE
0:10:52 > 0:10:55# He's the greatest, he's fantastic
0:10:55 > 0:10:57# Wherever there is danger
0:10:57 > 0:10:58# He'll be there
0:10:58 > 0:11:01# Danger Mouse
0:11:01 > 0:11:04# Danger Mouse
0:11:04 > 0:11:08# Danger Mouse! #