The Cute Shall Inherit the Earth

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:05 > 0:00:08Chief!

0:00:08 > 0:00:11# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

0:00:14 > 0:00:16- # He's the ace - The ace

0:00:16 > 0:00:17- # He's amazing - Amazing

0:00:17 > 0:00:21# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Danger Mouse

0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Danger Mouse! #

0:00:33 > 0:00:35BOOM!

0:00:38 > 0:00:41Queen and country. Pie and mash.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44Torrential rain and gale-force winds.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47Just a few of the double acts that make Great Britain great.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49But greatest of them all...

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Danger Mouse and Penfold.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Aaaaaaaaaargh!

0:00:53 > 0:00:55ZAP!

0:00:55 > 0:00:57- Hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! - ZAP!

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:00:59 > 0:01:02Oui, oui! Tres bien!

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Aaaaaaargh!

0:01:06 > 0:01:07Honestly, Penfold.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11Remember you're part of the world's number one crime-fighting duo.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12Defeating evil isn't enough.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14We have to look awesome while we're doing it.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Engage cheese cloak.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Eeeuuuuugh!

0:01:21 > 0:01:22It stinks!

0:01:22 > 0:01:26Yes, but when le Camembert sees this, he won't be able to resist.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34What is zis cheesy dream? I zink I am in love.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Come here, you cheesy temptress.

0:01:37 > 0:01:38Chief! Do something!

0:01:38 > 0:01:40I don't want to end up on toast!

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Activating cheese wire.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50Sacre bleu cheese!

0:01:50 > 0:01:51- Mmmm. - MUNCH MUNCH

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Well done, us. This calls for...

0:01:54 > 0:01:57Two extra large meat unspecifieds, please, Mike.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00- PURR - Aaaawwww!

0:02:00 > 0:02:01Mike's retired.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04We've got sardines, double sardine and sardine tuna,

0:02:04 > 0:02:07only we're out of tuna, so it'll have to be sardine.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Lucky I like sardine.

0:02:09 > 0:02:10Hmmm.

0:02:10 > 0:02:11There's something fishy here.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Mmmm.

0:02:13 > 0:02:14Could be the double sardine.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16No, they're towing our car!

0:02:16 > 0:02:19You can't do that! I paid and displayed!

0:02:19 > 0:02:21MEOW

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Aaaawwww!

0:02:23 > 0:02:24This is illegal ticketing.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Officer!

0:02:26 > 0:02:28- PURR PURR - Never mind!

0:02:28 > 0:02:30- Come on, Penfold. - Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

0:02:34 > 0:02:35Emergency, DM!

0:02:35 > 0:02:37My office, pronto.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39I knew it. On our way, Colonel.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47This is a matter of national importance, DM.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50I don't suppose it's got something to do with cats?

0:02:50 > 0:02:53PURRING

0:02:53 > 0:02:56What?! No! I need to choose a new blazer!

0:02:56 > 0:02:57I was innocently indulging

0:02:57 > 0:03:01in the canteen's three-day "all you can eat" buffet,

0:03:01 > 0:03:04and the next thing you know, the blazer's shrunk.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08I desperately need your help, DM.

0:03:08 > 0:03:12Herringbone or cashmere twill?

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Excellent.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Many thanks, DM, and...

0:03:17 > 0:03:18Bunfork.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Dismissed.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22MEOW

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Actually, there was something else.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27This might sound odd,

0:03:27 > 0:03:30but I think there's something sinister going on with...

0:03:30 > 0:03:33- MEOW! - ..cats!

0:03:33 > 0:03:36- MEOW - Ah-ha! They're spying on us!

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Stand down, DM. Mandy is my new secretary.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43She makes a great cup of tea, types 100 words a minute,

0:03:43 > 0:03:46and doesn't mind ironing my underpants.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Rrrrrreowrrr.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49I'm terribly sorry, Mandy.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51That's OK, Danger Mouse.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53- (Now, stay out of our way.) - THUNDER

0:03:53 > 0:03:57(The prophecy will be fulfilled. The cute shall inherit the Earth.)

0:03:58 > 0:04:00Ah-choo!

0:04:00 > 0:04:02- Heh-heh-heh-heh.- Aaaaawwwww.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Hmmmm.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08I expected a bit more support, that's all.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11I'm sorry, Chief, I just don't like herringbone.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13I meant about the cats!

0:04:13 > 0:04:14I told you what she said to me.

0:04:14 > 0:04:18Yeah, but she said it with such a lovely look on her face.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21There's Mandy. Let's follow her and find out what's going on.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33Aaaawwwww. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

0:04:33 > 0:04:35MANDY GASPS

0:04:35 > 0:04:38Our cover's blown! After her!

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Help! Help! They're chasing me!

0:04:43 > 0:04:45No time for autographs, we're in hot pursuit.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47We don't want autographs, mate.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50We want you to stop picking on that sweet, innocent cat.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53I don't pick on, I pursue, impressively.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55I'm Danger Mouse.

0:04:55 > 0:04:56Yeah, I know who you are, mate.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59I'm in the show every other week. Now back off!

0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Boo!- Boo!

0:05:01 > 0:05:04You can't boo me. I'm the hero, she's the villain!

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Ow! He poked me in the eye!

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Leave her alone, you big bully!

0:05:08 > 0:05:10I...I didn't touch her!

0:05:10 > 0:05:11She's faking it!

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Hang on, where did she go?

0:05:13 > 0:05:14There she...

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Come on.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Catacombs. I should have guessed.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27MEOW!

0:05:27 > 0:05:28PUNCH! THWACK!

0:05:33 > 0:05:38Feline brothers and sisters, the time of the prophecy is at hand.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41Pussowksi, ominous music, please.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45DISSONANT CHORDS

0:05:45 > 0:05:46Ha! Brilliant!

0:05:46 > 0:05:49For thousands of years we have slept in the shadows,

0:05:49 > 0:05:54and occasionally in the wash-basket, but our time is at hand.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58At 3:32 on Tuesday 12th in the 73rd Year Of The Tabby,

0:05:58 > 0:06:01the cute shall inherit the Earth!

0:06:02 > 0:06:04It's not a very catchy deadline, is it?

0:06:04 > 0:06:07That's in 100 minutes.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Ooh, a ticking clock! That's a nice bit of tension.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13- Right, Penfold, let's start knocking some heads together.- But Chief,

0:06:13 > 0:06:16they're just a bunch of cute cats in dressing gowns.

0:06:16 > 0:06:20Behold our army!

0:06:20 > 0:06:21Hahaha!

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Priceless!

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Penfold, there's an army of cats ready to take over the world!

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Although they may need a few more soldiers than that.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Hang on. Switch isn't working.

0:06:34 > 0:06:35Yes, that might do it.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38- CATS HISS AND GROWL - Uh-oh.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Penfold, run! We've got to get out and warn everyone!

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Would it really be so bad if they took over?

0:06:43 > 0:06:46I mean, look at their little sweet faces.

0:06:46 > 0:06:47Don't look at them, Penfold!

0:06:50 > 0:06:51CATS GROWL

0:06:51 > 0:06:53I called the car by remote, it'll be waiting by the exit.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55- I'll catch you up.- Crumbs!

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Activate Danger Distraction.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03That ought to slow them down.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06CATS COO AND GIGGLE

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Penfold?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16The prophecy will be fulfilled, and there's nothing you can do.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Penfold!

0:07:18 > 0:07:19Try to look past the cuteness!

0:07:19 > 0:07:22It's so hard to choose.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25On the one hand, you and I have been best friends for years,

0:07:25 > 0:07:28saving each other's lives countless times.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32On the other hand, she just coughed up a furball and it was hilarious.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Sorry, Chief. No contest.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39The cute shall inherit the Earth!

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Ah, DM. Just wanted to let you know that we've replaced you with a cat.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46I'm sure you don't mind. They do look cute, don't they?

0:07:46 > 0:07:48But Colonel...!

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-meeeeooooow!

0:07:52 > 0:07:54I've changed my mind!

0:07:54 > 0:07:56Too late.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59Ah!

0:07:59 > 0:08:00Meow?

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Who-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Chieeeeeeeeeeef!

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Activate Danger Bouncy Castle!

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Chief! I'm...sorry.

0:08:14 > 0:08:15Don't worry, Penfold.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Their cuteness is irresistible.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20You know, I've come to a conclusion about all this.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Don't let looks deceive you.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24No, although, good point.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26No, if cuteness is irresistible,

0:08:26 > 0:08:28then we need something cuter than those cats,

0:08:28 > 0:08:30and I know just the thing.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34What is this place?

0:08:34 > 0:08:38It's a top secret training centre for the Danger Agents of the future.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40May I present the Danger Babies.

0:08:40 > 0:08:44Danger Foal, Danger Puppy, Danger Piglet, Danger Ellie,

0:08:44 > 0:08:46and...aawww, Danger Chick.

0:08:48 > 0:08:52They are the cutest things I have ever seen!

0:08:52 > 0:08:54Exactly.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Are we nearly there yet?- No.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Are we nearly there yet?- No.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01I need a wee-wee.

0:09:01 > 0:09:02Not in the car!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07TRICKLING

0:09:12 > 0:09:15Ha-ha, you're too late!

0:09:15 > 0:09:18The time of the prophecy is at hand.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21Nothing can defeat our cuteness.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23We'll see about that.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27SHE HISSES

0:09:27 > 0:09:28Attack!

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Remember your training, baby agents.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36We mostly do colouring in.

0:09:38 > 0:09:39- Aaaawww!- Aaaaaww!

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Hee-hee-hee!

0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Aaaaawww!- Aaaaawww!

0:09:44 > 0:09:46No! No, attack!

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Remember the prophecy!

0:09:48 > 0:09:50The cute shall inherit the Earth!

0:09:58 > 0:10:01The prophecy was right. It just wasn't about you.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03SHE HISSES

0:10:08 > 0:10:11Get out of the way, Dumbo!

0:10:11 > 0:10:12Argh!

0:10:14 > 0:10:16- Aaaaaww!- Aaaawww!

0:10:16 > 0:10:18They're so sweet.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21You know something, Penfold - looks really can be deceiving.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23It's what's inside that really counts.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Here, what are you doing?

0:10:25 > 0:10:27- Posing for my close-up. - PENFOLD SIGHS

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Come on, then. Let's get you all home to bed.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31I needed a wee-wee.

0:10:31 > 0:10:32Right.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35- What do you mean, "needed"? - THE DANGER BABIES LAUGH

0:10:35 > 0:10:39And so Danger Mouse, Penfold and the Danger Babies

0:10:39 > 0:10:41have saved the world and...

0:10:41 > 0:10:43Actually, I wonder if they've got anyone to do the narrator

0:10:43 > 0:10:46in the Danger Babies' spin-off yet?

0:10:46 > 0:10:51I am available, and I would bring my own biscuits.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53# He's the greatest,

0:10:53 > 0:10:54# He's fantastic

0:10:54 > 0:10:56# Wherever there is danger

0:10:56 > 0:10:57# He'll be there

0:10:57 > 0:10:59# Danger Mouse

0:10:59 > 0:11:02# Danger Mouse

0:11:02 > 0:11:06# Danger Mouse! #

0:11:09 > 0:11:10BOOM!