0:00:08 > 0:00:11# He's the greatest He's fantastic
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger he'll be there
0:00:14 > 0:00:15# He's the ace The ace!
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# He's amazing Amazing!
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Danger Mouse
0:00:27 > 0:00:32# Danger Mouse! #
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Tokyo, city of the future.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Hang on, that can't be right.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44CASH REGISTERS RING
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Apologies. The animator who drew that scene has been sacked.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Ahem.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Tokyo, city of the future.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52And speeding through the streets with style,
0:00:52 > 0:00:56grace and scant regard for local traffic laws is Danger Mouse.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Ahhh!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02HORNS BEEP
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Our hero is on his way to the Annual Conference Of Genius Inventors.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15An elite hi-tech gathering of all that bleeps,
0:01:15 > 0:01:17flashes and, occasionally, explodes.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18DOG BARKS
0:01:19 > 0:01:2220 years of my life ruined!
0:01:22 > 0:01:24You think you're having a bad day!
0:01:24 > 0:01:26On board, the most brilliant mind of our time.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28PENFOLD SLURPS
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Cor, the ground is moving!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Well, obviously, I didn't mean Penfold!
0:01:33 > 0:01:36I meant Professor Squawkencluck, with her latest invention.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39An artificial intelligence quantum computer chip
0:01:39 > 0:01:42so powerful it can bring any machine to life.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45It's not much to look at, is it?
0:01:45 > 0:01:48It may be small, but it's immensely powerful.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Often said about yours truly.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51In your dreams.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Anyway, if it falls into the wrong hands,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55it'll be curtains for the world as we know it.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Danger Mouse?
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Hmm.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Do you really think pork noodles want to steal my chip, Danger Mouse?
0:02:06 > 0:02:07In my experience,
0:02:07 > 0:02:11danger lurks in the most unexpected places, Professor.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Aha! Hand over the chip!
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Oh, they've gone.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Keeping on your toes, eh, Penfold?
0:02:18 > 0:02:19That's the spirit.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21No, I'm just... You know...
0:02:21 > 0:02:24London to Tokyo is a long wait without a pit stop, Chief.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Hmm. Ah, gentleman's is over there.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27First on the right.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29'Scuse me! Coming through.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Thank you. 'Scuse me!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Aha!
0:02:33 > 0:02:34- Ah!- Hans!
0:02:34 > 0:02:37How's the world of gene splicing going?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Look after this, Penfold.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41I want to get a picture before he eats himself.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42But I was just...
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Welcome to a new era in bladder relief.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51Wha..?
0:02:51 > 0:02:55My name is John, and I will be your toilet for today.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Would you care for a super poo puzzle?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Oh, crumbs!
0:03:03 > 0:03:05ALARM BLARES
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Malfunction... Reset F12... Software upgrade...
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Installation complete.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14I feel fantastic!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16There's so much I want to know about the world.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I want to read literature, rid the world of disease.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Perhaps even unlock the mystery of - oh...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Why am I stuck to this pipe?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26What is that smell?
0:03:26 > 0:03:27What are you doing here?
0:03:29 > 0:03:34Ah, well, John, to be honest, I was about to...
0:03:34 > 0:03:36How can I put this?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39You see, what people do is, er...
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- SCREAMING - Ah!
0:03:42 > 0:03:43JOHN ROARS
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Um, I accidentally might have dropped your special chip thingy
0:03:49 > 0:03:51into the toilet, Professor.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53JOHN ROARS
0:03:53 > 0:03:54THEY SCREAM
0:03:56 > 0:03:57SHE GASPS
0:03:57 > 0:04:00The AI chip must have caused a fusion reaction in the toilet,
0:04:00 > 0:04:02boosting its already advanced cybernetic capability to
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- previously unknown levels. - That can totally happen.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Too long have I been a resting place for your backsides.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Too long have I toileted - I mean toiled - in silence.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16No longer will I take your...
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I can't even say it. Ahh!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Follow that loo!
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Penfold, check the radar for runaway porcelain.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Righty ho, Chief. Switching on the lav nav.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Oh, just one thing. Could you avoid any bumps?
0:04:37 > 0:04:40I still really need the loo. Ahh!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Sorry, just taking the shortest route, Penfold.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Crumbs!
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Shortest route again!
0:04:50 > 0:04:52It's no use, Penfold. We've lost him.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54That toilet's gone to ground.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Ah, DM. Terrible news.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Someone in this office has been using my coffee mug.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Oh, and the lavatories of the world are revolting.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Not revolting in the sense that they are stinky,
0:05:06 > 0:05:07although obviously they are...
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Oh, skip it. Behold!
0:05:09 > 0:05:12ALL: Rights for toilets! Rights for loos!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Rights for toilets! Rights for loos!
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Rights for toilets!
0:05:16 > 0:05:21- And leading them all is this shiny maniac.- John!
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Yes, I know what it is, Penfold.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25He's calling himself Dr Loo-cifer.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Toilets of the world, I, Dr Loocifer,
0:05:29 > 0:05:31speak to you through your sewer pipes.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Our task is not yet finished.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I call upon you to push harder.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Strain for liberty.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41To grunt for freedom!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Hunt down Dr Loocifer, DM, and remove that AI chip.
0:05:44 > 0:05:49Or the world will never enjoy... certain comforts again.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50HE GASPS
0:05:50 > 0:05:54CHANTING: Rights for loos! You can tinkle on your shoes!
0:05:56 > 0:05:57THEY GULP
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Toilets, we can work this out peacefully
0:05:59 > 0:06:01if you just take me to your leader.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Hold tight. Ejector seat!
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Worst Danger Car feature ever.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Cor, a bullet train! I've always wanted to go on one of these.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Oh, no, Chief.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Where? Who? What is it, Penfold?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23I haven't got a ticket!
0:06:23 > 0:06:24THUDDING
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Ahh!
0:06:29 > 0:06:30It's a train toilet.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Amazing, I've never seen one that actually works!
0:06:36 > 0:06:37Ahh!
0:06:48 > 0:06:49That shut him up.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52One ply!
0:06:52 > 0:06:53Will they never learn?
0:06:55 > 0:06:56This is our stop.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59That's not a stop, Chief. That's just an open window.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Ahh!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04That's a relief. And do you know the best thing?
0:07:04 > 0:07:07All that crazy action has made me forget I need the...
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Ahh, they've cloned an army!
0:07:11 > 0:07:13It's just a toilet factory, Penfold.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17- You know what that means? - It means I still can't go!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Hmm, it also means they never got Dr Loocifer's message.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Ahh!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I think I may know how to find him.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27CHANTING: Rights for toilets, rights for the loos!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Right for toilets, rights for loos!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Ow, ow, OW!
0:07:31 > 0:07:37Er, I mean, flush! Flush!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Keep looking and stay quiet.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Staying very quiet.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44TOILETS CHANT
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Ahh!
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Chief!
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Get back, get back!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Hmm, don't like to be cleaned, ey?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Could come in handy.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Nice detective work, Penfold. - It was?
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Where else would an insane toilet mastermind have his hideout
0:08:08 > 0:08:10but in the bowels of the city?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Soon the old world will be flushed away,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16and we shall create the planet of the toilets.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19That chip has really gone to his head.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Ah, Danger Mouse.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23So glad you could drop in.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25LAUGHS EVILLY
0:08:25 > 0:08:27More echo in my bowl, please?
0:08:27 > 0:08:28LAUGHS LOUDER
0:08:28 > 0:08:30That's better, thanks, Russell.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31It's time we put a stop to this.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Ahh!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39You'll have to do better than that, Dr Loocifer.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Or should I call you John?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44How dare you use that name?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Release the portaloo!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50PORTALOO GROWLS
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- The smell!- Cor, that's horrible!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Is this then the end of Danger Mouse?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- And Penfold!- And Penfold!
0:09:00 > 0:09:04How will they survive and, if they do, just how bad will they smell?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Soon I will flush all your kind away,
0:09:09 > 0:09:12leaving a world of perfect porcelain.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14WATER GURGLES
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oh, crumbs!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17For yanking my chain,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21you have the honour of being first down the pipe.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23TOILET GURGLES
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Erm, hold on.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27It's just needs a few minutes to fill up again.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Looks like you flushed too soon, Loocifer.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Get away from me!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Open up and say "Ah", Dr Loocifer.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46No, get that away.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47HE LAUGHS
0:09:47 > 0:09:49That tickles! Stop it! Oh!
0:09:51 > 0:09:53You haven't seen the last of me.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Like the waters of a blocked toilet...
0:09:56 > 0:09:59I shall rise again.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02And don't forget to wash your hands!
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- HE GASPS - No!
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Ha-ha!
0:10:11 > 0:10:12My baby!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16You did wash that, didn't you, Penfold?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Sorry, Chief.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20I'm otherwise engaged.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Oh, Penfold! Really?
0:10:22 > 0:10:26And so, thanks to Danger Mouse, the great toilet uprising is over
0:10:26 > 0:10:29and humanity breathes one almighty sigh of relief.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31SIGHING
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- KNOCKING - Hurry up in there!
0:10:33 > 0:10:34All right, keep your hair on.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38Join us next week for another exciting episode of Danger Mouse.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39KNOCKING Don't rush me!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Now, where's my book?
0:10:44 > 0:10:45# He's the greatest
0:10:45 > 0:10:47# He's fantastic
0:10:47 > 0:10:49# Wherever there is danger he'll be there
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# Danger Mouse
0:10:52 > 0:10:55# Danger Mouse
0:10:55 > 0:11:00# Danger Mouse! #