The Spy Who Came in with a Cold

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0:00:05 > 0:00:07CHIEF!

0:00:08 > 0:00:11# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

0:00:14 > 0:00:16- # He's the ace - The ace

0:00:16 > 0:00:17- # He's amazing - Amazing

0:00:17 > 0:00:21# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse

0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Danger Mouse

0:00:26 > 0:00:31# Danger Mouse! #

0:00:32 > 0:00:34BOOM

0:00:38 > 0:00:43London! The end of another ordinary day for the ordinary people.

0:00:43 > 0:00:47But what of the extraordinary people? What of Danger Mouse?

0:00:47 > 0:00:48Seriously. Does anyone know?

0:00:48 > 0:00:50I got the script very late, I haven't had a chance to...

0:00:50 > 0:00:52WHOA THERE! Back up! What?!

0:00:52 > 0:00:53HORNS BLARE

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Has the world's greatest secret agent been reduced to...?

0:00:55 > 0:00:59Directing traffic. I ask you, is there anything more dull?

0:00:59 > 0:01:03I quite like it, Chief. Ha-ha! I think I'm a natural.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05CRASH

0:01:05 > 0:01:09Anyway, we haven't got a choice, have we?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12The Colonel said we had to help out because all the police are off sick.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Sick of their boring jobs! Oh! What I wouldn't give for a little...

0:01:16 > 0:01:18RUMBLING

0:01:19 > 0:01:21ELEPHANTS TRUMPET

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Elephant stampede!

0:01:27 > 0:01:30That's what I call "heavy traffic". Hmm...

0:01:30 > 0:01:34Funny, they were very well-dressed for a herd of elephants. Penfold?

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Huh. I hate elephants.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Why do you hate them so much?

0:01:39 > 0:01:41Did something happen to you as a child?

0:01:41 > 0:01:44You mean...the incident.

0:01:44 > 0:01:48We don't talk about the incident.

0:01:48 > 0:01:51That'll be important later. Come on, Penfold.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54- Time we got on with doing what we do best!- Jigsaws!

0:01:54 > 0:01:56No, the other thing.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00PENFOLD SCREAMS

0:02:00 > 0:02:02HE SNEEZES

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Major crisis, DM, and it is sick!

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Bad sick or good sick, Colonel?

0:02:07 > 0:02:10- Sick as in wicked!- Um... Bad wicked or good wicked, Colonel?

0:02:10 > 0:02:14Oh, I don't know! It's so hard to keep up!

0:02:14 > 0:02:18I'll let the Professor explain. I'm going for a lie down.

0:02:18 > 0:02:22Listen to me, whatever you do, stay away from crowded places!

0:02:22 > 0:02:24COUGHING AND SNEEZING

0:02:24 > 0:02:27- And that's important, is it? - It's vital!

0:02:27 > 0:02:31There's been a mass outbreak of...elephant flu!

0:02:31 > 0:02:35Hah. It'll take more than a few germs to scare us, eh, Penfold?

0:02:35 > 0:02:37MUFFLED SPEECH

0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Pardon?- I said, "Speak for yourself, Chief."

0:02:42 > 0:02:44The progress of the infection is rapid.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47From mild symptoms to full-blown jumbo in less than a day.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50I wouldn't like to meet him in a dark alley.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52How dare you, Danger Mouse!

0:02:52 > 0:02:53DANGER MOUSE GASPS

0:02:53 > 0:02:56- Colonel! What happened to you?- Me? Nothing!

0:02:56 > 0:03:00- I'm right as rain. - I haven't told him yet.- Understood.

0:03:00 > 0:03:04I won't say a word. So what about a cure for the Colonel? Colonels. Ah!

0:03:04 > 0:03:08- The Colonels. Ones who DO have elephant flu.- There is no antidote.

0:03:08 > 0:03:12No? So what do you call THIS?!

0:03:12 > 0:03:15Oh! Oh! Oops! Ah!

0:03:15 > 0:03:17I really hope he's got a spare.

0:03:17 > 0:03:21Hang on, I've got one somewhere. Um...

0:03:21 > 0:03:26Um... Ah! This! That's right, Danger Fools.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29The epidemic is the work of I, Baron von Greenback.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33Starting in London, the disease will spread to the whole planet

0:03:33 > 0:03:39unless you make me the ruler of the world! Mwuhahahaha!

0:03:39 > 0:03:41I won't let you get away with this, Baron!

0:03:41 > 0:03:43HE SNEEZES

0:03:43 > 0:03:46Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a lie down? Mwuhahahaha!

0:03:46 > 0:03:48- Are you all right, Chief? - Don't worry!

0:03:48 > 0:03:51I've trained my body in the microscopic martial art

0:03:51 > 0:03:53of Germ Jitsu. I am immune to all...

0:03:53 > 0:03:55HE SNEEZES

0:03:55 > 0:03:59Ah! Professor! Do something!

0:03:59 > 0:04:01I'm sorry, Greenback has the only antidote.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03SHE SNEEZES

0:04:03 > 0:04:07At least we're unaffected, eh, Primrose?

0:04:07 > 0:04:09There's still time to get that antidote.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11HE TRUMPET SNEEZES

0:04:11 > 0:04:12AH!

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Have I got something on my face?

0:04:17 > 0:04:18BEEP BEEP

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Penfold, is that really necessary?

0:04:20 > 0:04:24- What if you're too poorly to stop the Baron, Chief?- Really, Penfold!

0:04:24 > 0:04:29- Do I look ill?- Um... You have gone a bit...grey.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32Oh! Typical elephants!

0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Always causing trouble!- What's your problem with elephants anyway?

0:04:35 > 0:04:41- What happened?- You mean...the incident?- Yes.

0:04:41 > 0:04:47I was only a child. I spent my childhood travelling -

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Neasden, Kilburn, Willesden Green.

0:04:50 > 0:04:54By the age of six I'd seen most of central north-west London,

0:04:54 > 0:04:57- but I was happy. - Is this a long story?

0:04:57 > 0:04:59- The world IS in the grip of an epidemic.- You asked.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Just, you know, highlights.

0:05:02 > 0:05:07I was happy until one fateful day, shortly after I learned to speak...

0:05:07 > 0:05:10..and those are my top 50 pencils.

0:05:10 > 0:05:15My parents accidentally left me by the side of the road

0:05:15 > 0:05:17and drove off really fast.

0:05:18 > 0:05:24I was adopted by a circus. They made me part of the elephants act.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29- And that's why you hate elephants? - No! It was amazing!

0:05:29 > 0:05:33I was so happy until one day,

0:05:33 > 0:05:36shortly after I learned the harmonica, they accidentally

0:05:36 > 0:05:41hurled me onto a passing cargo ship crewed entirely by elephants.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44They put me to work in the boiler room.

0:05:44 > 0:05:49- And that's why you hate elephants! - Best time of my life!

0:05:50 > 0:05:53WHY DO YOU HATE ELEPHANTS?!

0:05:53 > 0:05:57You know Felicity in Colonel K's office?

0:05:57 > 0:06:00The secretary who accidentally sat on you?

0:06:00 > 0:06:04Two days I was under there!

0:06:04 > 0:06:08- I call it the Dark Time.- Good name.

0:06:08 > 0:06:12I'll use it for the time I spent listening to your story.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- Ah, we're there!- Where? - The Baron's hideout.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17To avoid contracting elephant flu himself,

0:06:17 > 0:06:20he's been hiding in the one place he knew there would be no crowds.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Stationary World of Fun!

0:06:24 > 0:06:29Who on earth would visit a theme park dedicated to stationary?

0:06:29 > 0:06:33- Hmm.- I've got lifetime membership.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Well, don't you look silly?

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Says the toad in the big bubble!

0:06:38 > 0:06:42You mean my totally elephant flu-proof plastic sphere? ATTACK!

0:06:44 > 0:06:47Ha! Like I can't dodge a big plastic ball!

0:06:47 > 0:06:49HE TRUMPET SNEEZES

0:06:50 > 0:06:52AH!

0:06:55 > 0:07:00Ow! Ow! Ow, ow!

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Getting old now.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05MUFFLED SPEECH

0:07:05 > 0:07:08- What?- Use the trunk, Chief!

0:07:20 > 0:07:23The antidote!

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Even when I should be taking a sick day,

0:07:25 > 0:07:28I'm more than a match for you, Baron!

0:07:28 > 0:07:30HE TRUMPET SNEEZES

0:07:30 > 0:07:33- AHH!- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! - Hee-hee-hee-hee!

0:07:33 > 0:07:38Too slow, Danger Mouse, or should I say, "Danger Elephant"?

0:07:38 > 0:07:40HE SNEEZES

0:07:40 > 0:07:42THEY SNEEZE

0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Ahhhhhh...!- Oh, crumbs!

0:07:45 > 0:07:48ELEPHANTS TRUMPET AND STAMPEDE

0:07:48 > 0:07:49This is the end of civilisation.

0:07:49 > 0:07:54- The whole world is infected. - Everyone except you, Penfold.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56Ah, well, I've taken precautions.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59The mask, the disinfectant, the gloves...

0:07:59 > 0:08:02All of which you left at the theme park.

0:08:02 > 0:08:08Penfold's DNA is 100% elephant flu-proof! He's immune!

0:08:08 > 0:08:11Just like me!

0:08:11 > 0:08:15- Eh... Yes.- Oh, absolutely, Colonel. - If you say so.- It's not possible.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18To develop this resistance, you'd have to have been subjected

0:08:18 > 0:08:21to elephant particles under extreme pressure

0:08:21 > 0:08:24while sealed in a hot place for 48 hours.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28Well, Felicity sat on me for two days.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30That would do it.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33The good news is, I can make an antidote from your DNA.

0:08:33 > 0:08:34Will it hurt?

0:08:34 > 0:08:36HE SCREAMS

0:08:38 > 0:08:39DING

0:08:41 > 0:08:44Now we just need to distribute it to the rest of the world!

0:08:44 > 0:08:45HE GROANS

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- I'll do it.- You can barely walk.

0:08:49 > 0:08:54Penfold, it's up to you to save the planet.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Oh, crumbs.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58Hurry, Penfold.

0:08:58 > 0:09:02You need to drop the antidote into the city's water supply.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04On my way, Professor.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11Watch out for the dung pile! Whoa! House! Elephants' bottoms!

0:09:13 > 0:09:16It's Felicity all over again!

0:09:16 > 0:09:19Penfold, reverse! Reverse!

0:09:19 > 0:09:21The Dark Time.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24Penfold, there's no need to be scared of an elephant's bottom -

0:09:24 > 0:09:26apart from all the obvious reasons.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30The Dark Time. The Dark Time.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Penfold, use the wings!

0:09:36 > 0:09:39I did it, Chief! I did it!

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Hands on the wheel, Penfold.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48We're here!

0:09:48 > 0:09:52I can't believe I'm going to save the world all on my own. Ha!

0:09:56 > 0:09:58BIRD GROANS

0:10:03 > 0:10:05PENFOLD GASPS

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Hee-hee-hee. Now that was close.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14And so the antidote has been distributed worldwide

0:10:14 > 0:10:16and the great elephant flu pandemic is over.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20All that remains is the small matter of an apology.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Penfold feels bad about all the nasty things

0:10:22 > 0:10:24he said about elephants.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27After all, in a way, Felicity sitting on him saved the world.

0:10:27 > 0:10:32Quite right. Well, here she is. He can tell her himself.

0:10:32 > 0:10:33Penfold?

0:10:35 > 0:10:36Penfold?

0:10:36 > 0:10:40- MUFFLED:- The Dark Time. The Dark Time!

0:10:40 > 0:10:41THEY LAUGH

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Join us again for another crushingly exciting

0:10:44 > 0:10:47jumbo episode of Danger Mouse!

0:10:49 > 0:10:52# He's the greatest He's fantastic

0:10:52 > 0:10:55# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

0:10:55 > 0:10:58# Danger Mouse

0:10:58 > 0:11:01# Danger Mouse

0:11:01 > 0:11:05# Danger Mouse! #

0:11:07 > 0:11:09BOOM