The World Wide Spider

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0:00:05 > 0:00:06Ahh!

0:00:08 > 0:00:11# He's the greatest He's fantastic

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

0:00:14 > 0:00:16- # He's the ace - The ace

0:00:16 > 0:00:17- # He's amazing - Amazing

0:00:17 > 0:00:21# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Danger Mouse

0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Danger Mouse! #

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Britain, land of heroes.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43Men and women whose bravery has kept he hordes of evil at bay.

0:00:43 > 0:00:47And here in this quiet corner of London's Mayfair,

0:00:47 > 0:00:49bravest of them all, Danger Mouse.

0:00:49 > 0:00:50Ah! Spider!

0:00:50 > 0:00:53What?! Our hero, scared of spiders?

0:00:53 > 0:00:57I mean, I know they are hairy with all those legs and teeth and...

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Whoa, ey! What's that on the floor?!

0:00:59 > 0:01:02- You're not scared of spiders, are you, Chief?- Certainly not.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Just caught me off guard.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06So if you wouldn't mind getting rid of it

0:01:06 > 0:01:08with a massive laser canon or something.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10All you need is a cup and a newspaper.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12Ahh!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15What rule did we make recently?

0:01:15 > 0:01:17No more jumping into your arms.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20Sorry, Chief. Big fella, isn't he?

0:01:34 > 0:01:36HE GROANS

0:01:36 > 0:01:39This is a tougher than that time the Colonel had me

0:01:39 > 0:01:41pluck his eyebrows.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43The...is under attack.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45- The what, Colonel?- The in...net.

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Our connection is breaking up, Colonel.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49- It's almost as if the internet is under attack.- It is!

0:01:49 > 0:01:51That's what I've been saying.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Think, DM, how would policemen, doctors

0:01:54 > 0:01:56and the government function if there was no internet?

0:01:56 > 0:01:59And you wouldn't be able to play Giraffe Warriors either, sir.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01GAME BEEPS

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Gosh, it's worse than I thought.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05You've got to do something, DM!

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Colonel, we'll find out who is attacking the internet

0:02:07 > 0:02:10and take them off-line permanently.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Shall I just leave the huge spider's web where I found it?

0:02:15 > 0:02:16Uh... No.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20You stay here and take care of the sp...sp..spider web

0:02:20 > 0:02:22and I'll deal with the World Wide Web.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Activate Auto Penfold.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29- Now, where is this deadly attack? - Deadly attack?

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Waah!

0:02:31 > 0:02:32Uncanny. Just like the real thing.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35Activate eye patch. Locate internet attack.

0:02:35 > 0:02:36'Locate interesting cat rack.'

0:02:36 > 0:02:38- CAT MEOWS - What?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41No. Locate inter-net attack.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42'Located.'

0:02:42 > 0:02:44What? It's coming from HQ!

0:02:50 > 0:02:53- Penfold, have you seen anyone attacking the web?- Only me.

0:02:53 > 0:02:59Just a minute. Is it possible that this web is THE web?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Of course the World Wide Web is an actual spider web

0:03:03 > 0:03:05covering the planet. What did you think it was?

0:03:05 > 0:03:08A magical network of invisible information hurtling through space?

0:03:08 > 0:03:10SHE CHUCKLES

0:03:10 > 0:03:14Hang on. If the World Wide Web is a giant spider web, then... Gasp!

0:03:14 > 0:03:16How big is the spider that made it?

0:03:16 > 0:03:18JACKHAMMER BANGS SHOUTS: Enormous.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22But we are in no danger as long as nobody tweaks the web

0:03:22 > 0:03:25and attracts its attention.

0:03:25 > 0:03:26JACKHAMMER BANGS

0:03:26 > 0:03:28What?

0:03:37 > 0:03:38- Ah!- Ah!

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Eye patch, activate!

0:03:42 > 0:03:43Ah!

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Ow!- Ow!- Ow!- Ow!- Ow!

0:03:47 > 0:03:49The tremors are worldwide, Professor.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52The spider must have been asleep for thousands of years.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- It's going to wake up hungry. - They don't eat mice, do they?- No.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58A spider of this size would probably eat...

0:03:58 > 0:03:59the whole planet!

0:04:02 > 0:04:04You must find it and neutralise it.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06- HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY - No problem.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10It's not like I'm scared of huge spiders.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15But where would one find a spider that big? What could it hide under?

0:04:15 > 0:04:19Surely there isn't a rock big enough. Or is there?

0:04:19 > 0:04:23OK, it would take one million people to lift a Uluru, or Ayers Rock

0:04:23 > 0:04:24as it's known.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Of course, one gigantic spider could lift it easily.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29THEY CHUCKLE

0:04:31 > 0:04:34THEY SCREAM

0:04:34 > 0:04:36SPIDER ROARS, CAMERA CLICKS

0:04:36 > 0:04:39Yes, it's bad news for Australia,

0:04:39 > 0:04:43but it will be worse news for the spider when Danger Mouse gets here.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Which should be any second now.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Any second.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50He's not coming, is he?

0:04:52 > 0:04:55Erm, isn't Australia that way?

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Ugh, Danger Maps playing up again?

0:04:57 > 0:04:58'No, I said it was that way too!'

0:05:02 > 0:05:04OK, now we are hurtling towards trouble.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06At the speed of a snail.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Oi, I resent that!

0:05:08 > 0:05:11It's a good news-bad news type situation, DM.

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Bad news - the spider has covered Australia and East Asia in web

0:05:15 > 0:05:17and is now heading to India.

0:05:17 > 0:05:18What's the good news, Colonel?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Oh, the extra World Wide Webbing means the internet is working

0:05:21 > 0:05:22wonderfully.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25I've found the magic pineapple!

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Deal with that spider, but try not to tamper with the web.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30I'm about to unlock a new achievement.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Crumbs, Chief!

0:05:32 > 0:05:35We have to stop that spider before it cocoons the whole planet.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Do we? Oh, yes.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Deep breath. Let's g...g...go!

0:05:41 > 0:05:44ENGINE ROARS

0:05:44 > 0:05:47The Taj Mahal, the pride of India. And not a giant spider in sight.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51CAMERA CLICKS

0:05:54 > 0:05:57- He's massive!- You've got to control your fear, Chief.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Maybe you need to control your fear.

0:05:59 > 0:06:00For once, I haven't got any.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02For the last time, I'm not afraid

0:06:02 > 0:06:05of going near sp...spi...spiders.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07What if you don't have to go near it? Look.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14Well, if you insist. But I'm still not scared of sp...spi... Arachnids.

0:06:19 > 0:06:20To catch a normal spider...

0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Ahh!- Sorry.

0:06:22 > 0:06:26To catch a normal...thingy, we'd use a cup and paper.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29So to catch a massive thingy...

0:06:29 > 0:06:31We need a massive cup and paper.

0:06:35 > 0:06:36Penfold, tell me I'm brilliant.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38You're brilliant, Chief.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Tell me something I don't know.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43I've hacked in and increased the newspaper's print size.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Get your Agra evening news here!

0:06:47 > 0:06:49Now we just need some bait.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51What are you looking at me for?

0:06:54 > 0:06:55Oi, hairy legs!

0:06:58 > 0:07:00THEY PLAY AN INDIAN TUNE

0:07:06 > 0:07:08Now, Chief!

0:07:14 > 0:07:17SPIDER HISSES

0:07:17 > 0:07:21- SPIDER GROWLS - Ah! Spi... Penfold!

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Don't worry, Chief, running away is my speciality.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26It's a dark day for the Earth.

0:07:26 > 0:07:30But where is Danger Mouse in the world's hour of need?

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Here's the plan. Step one, hide in this cave.

0:07:33 > 0:07:34And step two?

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Hm? Who said anything about a step two?

0:07:36 > 0:07:38I need to tell you something, Penfold,

0:07:38 > 0:07:40something I've never told anyone ever.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43I am slightly unnerved by spiders.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46- SARCASTICALLY:- I had no idea. Wow, you can't tell.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48I know. I cover it up very well.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50If only we could shrink it down to this size somehow.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Ey! You're holding a spider!

0:07:52 > 0:07:54Yes, but only a little one. No-one is scared of the little ones.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57It's the same, just smaller.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Right, I know how to cure you.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02- We'll start little and work our way up.- But...

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Danger Mouse, shush!

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Erm, sir, shush, sir... Please. Sorry.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:08:10 > 0:08:12SPIDER CRIES

0:08:19 > 0:08:22Sorry about earlier, Raul, you are not scary at all.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25You're doing wonders for my back. Ah...

0:08:25 > 0:08:27Earth-shattering news, DM.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30I've reached level 10,000 in Giraffe Warriors!

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Oh, and the worldwide spider's has now covered the entire planet in web.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Apart from London.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37Should have seen that coming.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40'It's game over for Colonel K and his giraffe warrior.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43'But is it game over for planet Earth as well?'

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Chief?

0:08:44 > 0:08:47- I thought we were finished with running away.- It's OK, Penfold.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49If we're going to catch a massive spider,

0:08:49 > 0:08:51we need a massive vacuum cleaner.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53It will have to be the biggest vacuum in the universe.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57Exactly. We need the vacuum of space.

0:08:57 > 0:09:01Wow. That thing must really suck!

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Nelson's Column is...

0:09:08 > 0:09:10- ALL:- Ahh!

0:09:10 > 0:09:11CAMERA CLICKS

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Oi! You big arachnerd.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- SPIDER HISSES - Is that all you've got?

0:09:17 > 0:09:20SPIDER CLEARS THROAT SPIDER ROARS

0:09:20 > 0:09:21I'm stuck.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Perfect. Penfold, now!

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Please help me. I'm afraid of vacuums!

0:09:39 > 0:09:43# I look into your eyes And begin to wonder

0:09:43 > 0:09:46# How it all went wrong. #

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Oh, DM, you big softie.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Penfold, turn it off. Now!

0:09:55 > 0:09:57VACUUM SHUTS OFF

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Why did we turn it off, Chief?

0:09:59 > 0:10:01Because he's just a spider.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03There's nothing to be scared of.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05We can't blame him for shooting web and eating things.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07That's what spiders do.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09We're very good at table tennis too!

0:10:09 > 0:10:12Fancy a game? I'll play with one hand tied behind my back.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Turns out Lionel is not such a bad chap.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17He even made sure the internet was working for us.

0:10:17 > 0:10:18- The spider is called Lionel?- Yes.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21And he's agreed it's too dangerous for him to stay here on Earth,

0:10:21 > 0:10:25so he's taken the Danger Pod and flown into a wormhole.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28By now, he'll be on the other side of the galaxy where

0:10:28 > 0:10:30he can enjoy himself without causing any harm.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Great and wise being comes to us from afar.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37We are truly blessed.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41- ALL:- Uh-oh...

0:10:41 > 0:10:45And so the danger passes from our galaxy to another.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48But what other monsters roam our world? Lots, I'm hoping.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Find out in the next episode of...

0:10:51 > 0:10:52Danger Mouse!

0:10:55 > 0:10:58# He's the greatest He's fantastic

0:10:58 > 0:11:00# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

0:11:00 > 0:11:03# Danger Mouse

0:11:03 > 0:11:06# Danger Mouse

0:11:06 > 0:11:10- # Danger Mouse!- #