Day of the Derek

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0:00:08 > 0:00:10# He's the greatest

0:00:10 > 0:00:11# He's fantastic

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

0:00:14 > 0:00:15# He's the ace

0:00:15 > 0:00:17# He's amazing

0:00:17 > 0:00:19# He's the strongest He's the quickest

0:00:19 > 0:00:21# He's the best

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Danger Mouse

0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Danger Mouse! #

0:00:38 > 0:00:39Space!

0:00:39 > 0:00:41And our intrepid hero, Danger Mouse,

0:00:41 > 0:00:43is allowing the Earth to be destroy...

0:00:43 > 0:00:44Wait, what?!

0:00:44 > 0:00:48That can't be right. Danger Mouse is the greatest. He's fantastic.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50It says so in the theme song.

0:00:50 > 0:00:51Nothing makes sense.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Up is down. Black is white.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Cheese is meat. How can we make sense of it all?!

0:00:57 > 0:01:01Perhaps a trip many thousands of years forward in time will help?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03I can't imagine why it would, though.

0:01:05 > 0:01:10Curse you, Danger Mouse. Because of you, the world is gone.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12Yes, in the distant future,

0:01:12 > 0:01:16this floating rock is all that's left of the Earth.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24And it's your fault I can never be with the girl I love.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27You ruined my life that day.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32The next exhibit here in the Let's Blame Danger Mouse Museum

0:01:32 > 0:01:34is this Ding Dong Who Cares Time Machine.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36No refunds.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Did you say "time machine"?

0:01:41 > 0:01:45Meanwhile, back in the present day, the Earth has little idea

0:01:45 > 0:01:50that it's about to be destroyed by the very person I called hero.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Huh?!

0:01:52 > 0:01:54- Ha!- Ah!

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Oh, heck. Ah...!

0:02:01 > 0:02:04Once again, I've saved the world. You're welcome.

0:02:04 > 0:02:09What do you mean, saved the world? We were just getting lunch.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18Ah, looks like we've got another time travel episode on our hands.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Hello, younger, unfortunate-looking me.

0:02:21 > 0:02:22I'm nothing like you.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24I'm Derek Mullard,

0:02:24 > 0:02:27and I've come back in time to stop you destroying the world.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Future Fu.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30Are you sure you've got the right chap?

0:02:30 > 0:02:32I'm Danger Mouse.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Hello! I'm from the future.

0:02:35 > 0:02:38You know, where stuff's already happened?! So I know about it.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Urgent news, DM. The world is in immediate danger...

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Oh, I'm...I'm so sorry. You're busy, I'll wait.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Do excuse me, Derek.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50World to save, and all that.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52If I don't stop you by tea-time,

0:02:52 > 0:02:53there'll be no world left.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Oh, heck!

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Oh, poor chap. Hopelessly confused, but nothing to worry about.

0:03:01 > 0:03:05Hope so, Chief. Time travel episodes really pickle my noggin.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09Ahem, if you've nothing else on, DM,

0:03:09 > 0:03:11that intergalactic swindler Quark

0:03:11 > 0:03:14is selling off the Earth's best bits to the highest bidder.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Oh, no! Not Malta!

0:03:19 > 0:03:21I was bidding on that.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Ahem...

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yes, yes, well, and, when he's done,

0:03:25 > 0:03:28he's going to crush all the boring bits that are left

0:03:28 > 0:03:30and sell them for scrap.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32He's destroying the world.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Didn't Derek Mullard say something about

0:03:35 > 0:03:37YOU destroying the world, Chief?

0:03:37 > 0:03:38Well, there you are, he got it all wrong.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40It's QUARK who wants to destroy the world

0:03:40 > 0:03:42and it's ME who is going to stop him.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Yes, but maybe we should be careful...

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Blah, blah, blah...

0:03:47 > 0:03:48Come on, Penfold.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49Whaaa!

0:03:54 > 0:03:58Did you stop your evil ancestor destroying the world, my sweet?

0:03:58 > 0:04:01I'm, um, making progress.

0:04:01 > 0:04:05You must, or my father will never let us marry. No pressure!

0:04:07 > 0:04:08But how can I stop him?

0:04:08 > 0:04:12All I have is a room bursting with vintage weaponry.

0:04:12 > 0:04:13HE GASPS

0:04:13 > 0:04:16Is that the tingling of evil I feel,

0:04:16 > 0:04:19passed down through the generations and awakening now in me?

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Or do I just need the loo?

0:04:27 > 0:04:28KERCHING!

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Enjoy your Italy. Sure you don't want a France to go with that?

0:04:34 > 0:04:36THEY LAUGH

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Uh-oh, we got company!

0:04:41 > 0:04:42We're closed! We're closed!

0:04:42 > 0:04:45BANG! BANG!

0:04:45 > 0:04:47BANG! BANG! BANG!

0:04:53 > 0:04:55You're too late.

0:04:55 > 0:04:59In 60 seconds, all that's left of the world will be crushed.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02And then sold as a novelty paperweight.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05EVIL LAUGHTER

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Chief, 50 seconds!

0:05:07 > 0:05:12Don't worry, Penfold. The Professor gave me this meteor magnet.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19All we need to do is retreat to a safe distance and press this.

0:05:19 > 0:05:23The nearest meteor will destroy the ship and stop the countdown.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25- 40 seconds.- You're right.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28We should probably wait 30 seconds just to keep it interesting.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30# Bom-bom... #

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Yes, and normally, I love waiting to the last second,

0:05:33 > 0:05:36but man from the future, you destroying the world,

0:05:36 > 0:05:40maybe we should get on with it, just to be on the safe side?!

0:05:40 > 0:05:43All right, Penfold. Just this once.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49There, see? There was nothing to worry about.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51Now we'll just destroy Quark's ship and save the Earth.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Well, what's left of it, anyway.

0:05:56 > 0:05:57Huh?

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Derek Mullard?!

0:06:00 > 0:06:02I won't let you press that button and destroy the Earth.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04What are you talking about?

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Pressing this button SAVES the Earth.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10You don't get it. I've seen the future -

0:06:10 > 0:06:12there's nothing left and you're responsible.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16CLUCK!

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Argh! Argh!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Derek, I don't know what you think is going to happen,

0:06:21 > 0:06:24but Danger Mouse needs to press that button.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27By the great Quark, you look just like her.

0:06:28 > 0:06:32Please don't... Hang on, like who?

0:06:32 > 0:06:33My Pennyfold.

0:06:35 > 0:06:36Crumbs!

0:06:36 > 0:06:38I knew I looked good in pink.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Penfold, it's not safe for you here.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42'Ere, get off!

0:06:46 > 0:06:48CLUCK!

0:06:49 > 0:06:52See, there was no way I was going to let

0:06:52 > 0:06:54the Earth get crushed, Penfold...

0:06:57 > 0:07:00- What have you done with Penfold? - I put him somewhere safe.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Now get away from that detonator, I won't let you destroy the Earth.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06But it doesn't destroy the Earth! It destroys Quark's ship

0:07:06 > 0:07:08and stops the countdown.

0:07:08 > 0:07:09What?! Huh...

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Where's Penfold?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15I thought he'd be safe.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17Penfo-o-o-o-ld!

0:07:31 > 0:07:32No-o-o-o-o!

0:07:35 > 0:07:37I let the Earth be destroyed.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39I told you we should have taken Derek Mullard seriously!

0:07:39 > 0:07:42You should've listened to me, Chief.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46Oh, you told me I should've taken Derek Mullard seriously, Penfold.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47I should've listened to you.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Yes, I just said that.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51Sorry, Penfold, I wasn't listening to you.

0:07:51 > 0:07:55I caused the very thing I was trying to prevent.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58If only we could turn back time.

0:08:00 > 0:08:01Er, Chief...?

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Even if we had a time machine,

0:08:03 > 0:08:06one person couldn't save the world on their own.

0:08:06 > 0:08:07We'd need two of us.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10- But there ARE two of us. - Penfold, shush.

0:08:10 > 0:08:14- I'm trying to learn the lesson that I should always listen to you.- Oh!

0:08:14 > 0:08:18Wait, we'll use the machine to go back in time and save the planet.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22To be honest, I'm surprised you didn't come up with this, Penfold.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26- B-b-b-b-but...- Now, you go and catch Quark and hurry.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27He's got a big head start.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Heh-heh-heh-heh!

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Now time travel can get very confusing and highly technical.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35So let's use these to identify us.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Now, in the past, the future, and the future past perfect.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Ooh, stickers!

0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Penfold, it's not safe for you here! - Here, get off!

0:08:53 > 0:08:56Heads or tails to see who saves Penfold.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Ah!- You fix your mess, I'll fix mine.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03I won't let you destroy the Earth!

0:09:03 > 0:09:06But it doesn't destroy the Earth, it destroys Quark's ship

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- and stops the countdown! - What?! Huh...

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Where's Penfold?

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Penfo-o-o-o-o-ld!

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Don't worry about that. Trust me.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20ALARM WAILS

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Oh, carrots!

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Quick!

0:09:28 > 0:09:30Penfold!

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Coo-ee!

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Would a refund help?

0:09:40 > 0:09:42ALL: Hooray!

0:09:42 > 0:09:45And so it was that everything worked out and no-one worried

0:09:45 > 0:09:47if it made sense or not,

0:09:47 > 0:09:49and Derek and Pennyfold were married.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Yay!

0:09:51 > 0:09:53On this, my wedding day,

0:09:53 > 0:09:56I must thank the one who made it all possible.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59To my ancient ancestor, Danger Mouse.

0:09:59 > 0:10:00- BOTH:- Thank you.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- He means me, right?- No, he means me.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07- But I am you. - No, but he said Danger Mouse.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Danger Mouse is me.- I really do NOT like these time travel episodes.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14If only I could go back in time and stop it from being made.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17It doesn't matter which one of you is responsible.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20What's important is we're all here together.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23Yes, we are. Though, hmm...

0:10:23 > 0:10:26We did all that changing of the past...

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Chief, don't...

0:10:28 > 0:10:31So shouldn't that mean none of this will happen now?

0:10:31 > 0:10:34POP! POP! POP! POP!

0:10:34 > 0:10:35POP!

0:10:35 > 0:10:40You really know how to ruin a wedding.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Join us next week, unless of course, we all disapp...

0:10:47 > 0:10:48# He's the greatest

0:10:48 > 0:10:50# He's fantastic

0:10:50 > 0:10:52# Wherever there's danger he'll be there

0:10:52 > 0:10:55# Danger Mouse

0:10:55 > 0:10:58# Danger Mouse

0:10:58 > 0:11:04# Danger Mouse! #