Ernest Penfold and the Half-Price Wand

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0:00:04 > 0:00:06PENFOLD SHRIEKS

0:00:08 > 0:00:11# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

0:00:14 > 0:00:17# He's the ace, he's amazing

0:00:17 > 0:00:21# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Danger Mouse

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Danger Mouse

0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Danger Mouse! #

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Morning!

0:00:40 > 0:00:42And while most of us like to start the day with breakfast...

0:00:42 > 0:00:44WHOOSH!

0:00:44 > 0:00:47..Danger Mouse starts the day by saving the world from the evil

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Baron Silas Von Greenback!

0:00:49 > 0:00:51GREENBACK CACKLES

0:00:53 > 0:00:58Chief, we'll never diffuse them all in time! He's got us snookered!

0:00:58 > 0:01:01We could do with a Big Break all right! Deploy DangerCue!

0:01:07 > 0:01:10HE SCREAMS CRASH!

0:01:10 > 0:01:12KABOOM!

0:01:15 > 0:01:16Ha-ha!

0:01:16 > 0:01:17Huh?

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Special delivery, Chief!

0:01:23 > 0:01:27Hmm, ooh, very special, Penfold.

0:01:27 > 0:01:28From the Palace, no less.

0:01:30 > 0:01:31Put it with the others.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38PENFOLD SHRIEKS THEN WHIMPERS

0:01:38 > 0:01:39Oh, 'eck!

0:01:43 > 0:01:46Ooh! Is that one for me?

0:01:46 > 0:01:49Sorry, Penfold, this is one for rescuing you from the medals.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51PENFOLD SIGHS

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Don't get me wrong, Chief, I'm happy for you,

0:01:54 > 0:01:58but I can't help wondering, aren't I special too?

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Of course you are, Penfold!

0:02:01 > 0:02:05You...erm...!

0:02:05 > 0:02:08You make a really special cup of tea!

0:02:08 > 0:02:09Oh!

0:02:09 > 0:02:10SLURP

0:02:10 > 0:02:13HE SPLUTTERS AND GAGS

0:02:14 > 0:02:20Ah, I may have mixed up the sugar with the salt. Again.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22I'll be scrubbing the taste out of my mouth if you need me.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27Sugar, salt, sugar, salt.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29KNOCK ON DOOR

0:02:29 > 0:02:31PENFOLD GASPS

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Cor, it's for me!

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Abracadabra and greetings to you, the one and only...

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Penfold.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44- What?- You are the Chosen One, the Weaver of Illusion,

0:02:44 > 0:02:48- the Walker Under Wind... - The Blah Blah Blah, get on with it!

0:02:48 > 0:02:52Behold! A completely exclusive gift just for you and nobody else -

0:02:52 > 0:02:57the Wand of Power, yours to wield for only 99.99!

0:02:57 > 0:02:58Cor!

0:02:58 > 0:03:00TOILET FLUSHES

0:03:02 > 0:03:07- I'm a wizard!- Honestly, you can't leave him alone for a minute.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Watch this! Tea-us makey-us!

0:03:16 > 0:03:17TEAPOT SMASHES

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Well, I'll admit that's a clever trick, but...

0:03:19 > 0:03:20What are you doing now?

0:03:20 > 0:03:23I'll probably need some time off work.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27I'm destined to embark on an epic quest against impossible odds!

0:03:31 > 0:03:34I'm special, I'm one of a kind!

0:03:34 > 0:03:36THEY GIGGLE

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Well, one thousand of a kind!

0:03:43 > 0:03:44TREE GROWLS

0:03:49 > 0:03:51MONKEY CACKLES

0:03:51 > 0:03:53I thought I was special.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57If Quark sells one to everyone, the whole planet will be in chaos.

0:03:57 > 0:03:58We need to put a...

0:03:58 > 0:04:00..to this. Exactly.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Quark, you have to stop selling these wands.- Hey!

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Why d'you think it's me?

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Chief! That's Merlin's magic staff!

0:04:17 > 0:04:21Quark's shaving bits off and putting them in the wands!

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Three million units sold already to the Earth suckers.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28Who are you calling "suckers"? And do they come in red?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30- Penfold!- Sorry, Chief.

0:04:30 > 0:04:35And don't worry, I'll deal with Quark using my wand.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Quarkus bonkus on the head-us!

0:04:41 > 0:04:42WAND RATTLES

0:04:43 > 0:04:44Ha!

0:04:44 > 0:04:47You got a tiny bitty little piece of Merlin's staff,

0:04:47 > 0:04:49and I still got all this!

0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Heh-heh-heh! - Quit fooling around and zap 'em!

0:04:58 > 0:04:59THEY SCREAM

0:05:03 > 0:05:05THEY SCREAM

0:05:06 > 0:05:08It's getting worse, Chief!

0:05:08 > 0:05:12How are we supposed to stop Quark while he's got Merlin's staff?

0:05:12 > 0:05:15We can't - but I know somebody who can.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18We need to find Merlin!

0:05:18 > 0:05:23Yes! This is the epic adventure I was destined for!

0:05:23 > 0:05:28Come, oh, fellowship of the wand! Let us depart and begin our quest!

0:05:28 > 0:05:32Many years shall it take us to fulfil our duties...

0:05:32 > 0:05:34Found him!

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Hmm, I always wondered what the Merlin's Tomb Finder app was for!

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Oh, Merlin!

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Wakey-us uppus!

0:05:51 > 0:05:54Speak to us, Merlin! Bless us with your ancient wisdom!

0:05:56 > 0:05:58HE YAWNS

0:06:00 > 0:06:03I think I might hit my snooze crystal.

0:06:08 > 0:06:12Cup of tea to perk you up, oh, great wizard?

0:06:12 > 0:06:13SLURP

0:06:13 > 0:06:14HE SPLUTTERS AND GAGS

0:06:14 > 0:06:18What kind of fool has put salt in my tea?

0:06:18 > 0:06:23That would be me, Mr Merlin, sir. Penfold!

0:06:23 > 0:06:26You might know me as the Chosen One,

0:06:26 > 0:06:28for I have travelled far and wide...

0:06:28 > 0:06:31You haven't seen a staff lying around here, have you?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Actually, that's why we've come.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40Take a little nap for a couple of thousand years and this happens!

0:06:42 > 0:06:44MERLIN GASPS

0:06:44 > 0:06:49Automatic water wipers! No! That's real magic!

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Wait till he finds the splat cannons.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55Merlin, we need your help to stop the alien who's behind all this.

0:06:55 > 0:07:01- Ohh, tropical tutti frutti! Astounding!- Help us!

0:07:02 > 0:07:07Yes, of course, but I can't fight that alien if he's got my staff.

0:07:07 > 0:07:12He's only got half of it. He put a splinter in each of the wands.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15What if we put all those splinters back together?

0:07:15 > 0:07:20Half of Merlin's staff in the hands of Merlin will be more than enough!

0:07:20 > 0:07:24Well done, Penfold. Time for a product recall.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28And, yea, it came to pass that

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Penfold, the Chosen One, did embark

0:07:31 > 0:07:37on a perilous journey to distant lands to retrieve the shards...!

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Oh, for goodness' sake,

0:07:39 > 0:07:41they fly around the world and collect the wands!

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Staffus!

0:07:44 > 0:07:47Erm, put-back-together-us?

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Ooh!

0:07:48 > 0:07:50KABOOM! THEY SCREAM

0:07:54 > 0:07:57There is an evil mage to deal with!

0:07:57 > 0:07:59- MERLIN SNAPS A PHOTO - Merlin!- Merlin!

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Oh! Ha-ha! Right... To battle!

0:08:04 > 0:08:06It's over, Quark.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Go on, Merlin.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11Deal with Quark and then you can play with the phone!

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Ah-ha! There!

0:08:20 > 0:08:23Now hand over the phone.

0:08:23 > 0:08:24Eh, you like phones, huh?

0:08:26 > 0:08:30- Well, you come work for me and you have one all to yourself.- Huh?

0:08:30 > 0:08:32And you can have...

0:08:32 > 0:08:36..this electronic toothbrush!

0:08:36 > 0:08:38- TOOTHBRUSH WHIRS - Ha-ha-ha!

0:08:38 > 0:08:42- Oh, come on, he won't sell out the planet for a used toothbrush.- Ohh!

0:08:44 > 0:08:49Rechargeable, three-speed, and also a tooth-broom!

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Ohhhhh!

0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Oh, 'eck!- Well, that's a setback.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Now to make some real money!

0:09:03 > 0:09:05QUARK CHUCKLES

0:09:05 > 0:09:06I'm sorry, Chief.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09If I hadn't been so obsessed with feeling special

0:09:09 > 0:09:11none of this would have happened.

0:09:13 > 0:09:14You guys must be thirsty!

0:09:16 > 0:09:18QUARK CACKLES

0:09:18 > 0:09:20Hmm, thirsty.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23How about a nice cup of tea, Quark?

0:09:23 > 0:09:25Oh, don't mind if I do!

0:09:30 > 0:09:32HE SPLUTTERS

0:09:32 > 0:09:34It's like drinking the sea!

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Ha! Great work, Penfold!

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Backus to normalus!

0:09:40 > 0:09:44Phew! Just in time, Chief. I think I was about to flower!

0:09:44 > 0:09:47Er, now let's be reasonable about this.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49I never seen this guy before in my life!

0:09:51 > 0:09:54I want my lawyer!

0:09:54 > 0:09:55THEY CHUCKLE

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Sorry about the piggy bank planets thing.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00I got a bit carried away with all the gadgets.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Just give me the staff and I'll put an end to all this magic.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Actually, I think saving the universe

0:10:05 > 0:10:07might be someone else's destiny.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Penfold, I choose you!

0:10:10 > 0:10:13You mean, I AM the Chosen One?

0:10:13 > 0:10:15You'll always be special to me.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21I, Penfold the Brown, do banish all foul magic henceforth.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25- You're talking funny again.- A thousand apologies, oh, Mousey One!

0:10:25 > 0:10:26Oh, go on, just this once.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35See you in another thousand years,

0:10:35 > 0:10:37or when it's time to upgrade my smartphone.

0:10:37 > 0:10:38Ah-ha!

0:10:40 > 0:10:42What a ninny!

0:10:45 > 0:10:51- Penfold, did you by any chance keep Merlin's staff?- What gave me away?

0:10:53 > 0:10:56# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

0:10:56 > 0:10:59# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

0:10:59 > 0:11:02# Danger Mouse

0:11:02 > 0:11:05# Danger Mouse

0:11:05 > 0:11:09# Danger Mouse! #