Mostly Haunted

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0:00:30 > 0:00:32THUNDER RUMBLES

0:00:32 > 0:00:34Undead spirits of Bogmoor,

0:00:34 > 0:00:37I have come to commune with thee.

0:00:37 > 0:00:40Reveal to me your secrets...

0:00:40 > 0:00:41and your...

0:00:44 > 0:00:45Puddles!

0:00:47 > 0:00:48I despise puddles.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53I curse you, puddles!

0:00:53 > 0:00:54I curse you!

0:00:59 > 0:01:01I curse thee!

0:01:01 > 0:01:02I curse thee, puddles!

0:01:06 > 0:01:11PRESENTER SPEAKS ON TV, THUNDER RUMBLES OUTSIDE

0:01:11 > 0:01:12ELECTRICAL HISSING

0:01:12 > 0:01:14THUNDERCLAP

0:01:15 > 0:01:17Ooh-ooh!

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Ghost!

0:01:20 > 0:01:22A-ha, you should have seen your faces.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24You were like, "Ah!"

0:01:24 > 0:01:28- Sister, that is not amusing. - You've got to stop scaring people.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Yeah, starting with us.- But it's what I do.- It's all you do.

0:01:33 > 0:01:34Boo!

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Boo!

0:01:37 > 0:01:38Esme!

0:01:38 > 0:01:40# My lady, darling... #

0:01:40 > 0:01:41Boo!

0:01:42 > 0:01:44- Boo!- Ah, Esme!

0:01:44 > 0:01:46- Hello, Trafford.- Hello, Dylan!

0:01:49 > 0:01:51So, what are we watching?

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Nothing. Until you learn to stop scaring,

0:01:55 > 0:01:57you are banned from spending time with the rest of us.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59You can't ban me from hanging out with you.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02No, but we can choose to stop hanging out with you.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05- Yep, bye.- Farewell.

0:02:05 > 0:02:06Oi!

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Hey, Dylan,

0:02:10 > 0:02:13do you want to go have some fun and leave those losers to it?

0:02:13 > 0:02:14They have a point.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18Sometimes you scare me too, Esme. Friends shouldn't scare friends.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20That's rule number two of friendship.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22What's rule number one?

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Never buddy up with a crocodile.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Even though they show their teeth, it doesn't mean they're smiling.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Look, I don't need you lot anyway.

0:02:30 > 0:02:34I've got friends on Ghosltybook. Real friends.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36How many of your Ghostlybook friends have you actually met?

0:02:36 > 0:02:39It doesn't matter. I'm a ghost, I'm supposed to be scary.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42KNOCKING

0:02:42 > 0:02:44DOOR CREAKS OPEN

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Oh, no, please do come in(!)

0:02:52 > 0:02:54What a wonderful place you have here.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56I can almost smell the history.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Well, that will be the dry rot.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Sorry, who are you? - Poor child.

0:03:07 > 0:03:08You don't have a television.

0:03:10 > 0:03:14No, I prefer real life, the picture quality is better.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18Ah! It's Damien Davenport! THE Damien Davenport!

0:03:18 > 0:03:19Not THE Damien Davenport!

0:03:19 > 0:03:21THEY SQUEAL

0:03:21 > 0:03:26- Who's Damien Davenport! - Mr Davenport, you made it. I'm Rich.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28I'm richer. I have a swimming pool.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32- We've kind of got a swimming pool too, Mr Davenport.- I thought the last time we checked, the water

0:03:32 > 0:03:34- was green and there was a dead badger in it.- No...

0:03:34 > 0:03:36This is Damien Davenport.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Top TV ghosthunter, and he's here to film his show.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42He's filming Mostly Haunted in our castle?

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Fame overload. Don't pass out.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Don't pass out.- Eh, Rich, huh?

0:03:47 > 0:03:48What?

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Are you out of your mind? Why didn't you speak to us first?

0:03:52 > 0:03:56What? So you can talk me out of it like you always do? Dream on.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Mr Davenport...

0:03:57 > 0:04:01I must explore. Soak up the vibrations before my crew arrives.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04I'm like a sponge for spectral energy.

0:04:10 > 0:04:11What am I, a hat stand?

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Unbelievable.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Well, you're the one playing a scary vampire.

0:04:16 > 0:04:17See, people like to be scared.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20True, but the people coming to see my film are choosing to see

0:04:20 > 0:04:21the Bride Of Spatula.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Look, maybe being a scary ghost

0:04:23 > 0:04:25and having loads of friends just don't go together.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28But being scary is what ghosts do.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31It's like having a pet dog and telling it not to bark.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33- Gabe isn't scary. - Yeah, but Gabe's an idiot.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35He was no better a human than he is a ghost.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37And that is what is driving people away, Esme.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Look, Gabe's got loads of positive qualities -

0:04:39 > 0:04:43he's kind, he's sensitive. Oh, he's good looking.

0:04:43 > 0:04:44Dani...

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Look, the point is, being scary isn't the be all and end all.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49But then what do I do?

0:04:49 > 0:04:53I like having friends, but I absolutely love being a ghost.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Well, it might be a crazy idea, but maybe it's time to retire

0:04:56 > 0:04:59from scaring or just do it to people who enjoy it.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02I'll make a souffle out of your blood.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04EVIL LAUGH

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Well terrifying.

0:05:07 > 0:05:08Ghosts.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Poor, poor, ephemeral beings.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Rich, do we really want everyone to know what ghosts live here?

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Everybody who watches Mostly Haunted thinks

0:05:18 > 0:05:21the ghosts are special effects and that Davenport's a fake.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23- And a show-off. - Oh, I can't think why.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27But all the places that he visits become massive tourist attractions.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Do you think he can put us on the tourist map?

0:05:29 > 0:05:31If Gabe and Esme end up on camera,

0:05:31 > 0:05:34everyone's going to think they're actors. What do you say?

0:05:34 > 0:05:36Come on.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38- I don't know.- Please.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Pretty please.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Do I need to beg now? - No, no, no, don't beg.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Yeah, thought so.

0:05:45 > 0:05:49Look, if you really think it'll help the castle then I'm in.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51But I just hope you know what you're doing.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53I always know what I'm doing.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Ah, right on cue.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Oh, Mr Davenport. This is Gabe, one of our ghosts.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Don't worry, Gabe, I've told him all about you.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07It's OK, Gabe, just do something ghostly.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Come on.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10You can do it.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Woo!

0:06:12 > 0:06:13I'm a ghost. Beware...

0:06:14 > 0:06:17..my ghostly hands!

0:06:19 > 0:06:23- What are you trying to pull here? - What do you mean?

0:06:23 > 0:06:24Ghosts are scarier, otherworldly.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27This very ordinary boy, peculiar dress sense aside,

0:06:27 > 0:06:29couldn't scare his way out of a paper bag.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31- Who says ghosts have to be scary? - I do.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34And if you're a real ghost, you'd know that.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36You think I'm a human?

0:06:36 > 0:06:38As human as I am.

0:06:38 > 0:06:39Maybe not quite as handsome.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Was only having a bit of fun. It's only a laugh, eh, Gabe?

0:06:44 > 0:06:48- He's not really a ghost.- No.

0:06:48 > 0:06:52No, that's me. No dead people here.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55But if you want to see a real scary ghost,

0:06:55 > 0:06:57you've come to the right place.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Sister, you won't believe what's happened.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07There's a ghosthunter visiting, and he thinks I'm...

0:07:08 > 0:07:10What is...?

0:07:10 > 0:07:11Gibby!

0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Gibby?- I've missed you.

0:07:14 > 0:07:15You saw me less than an hour ago.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18You're the bestest brother a girl could ever ask for.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20Do you like what I did with the place?

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Doesn't it make you want to scream?

0:07:22 > 0:07:24MUSIC: "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28There's an unnatural coldness in this room.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32That breeze.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Could it be the long, dead breath of a wandering phantom?

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Can't believe we've got another huge celebrity in the castle.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42And I can't believe you're actually impressed by this great big show-off.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44I can't believe our castle's going to be on TV.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46And I can't believe that this whole thing

0:07:46 > 0:07:48- isn't going to end in disaster. - Urgh.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50I sense so much pain here.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52So much sorrow.

0:07:52 > 0:07:56- My boots filling with ectoplasm.- Wow.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58If he's like this before the cameras get here,

0:07:58 > 0:07:59imagine what he'd be like later.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02I bet he's even cooler. I'm going to ask for his autograph.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I was wrong about the phantom.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09The breeze was coming through a gap in that window.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Yeah, we've been meaning to get that double glazed.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Anyways, could I have your autograph, please, Mr Davenport?

0:08:15 > 0:08:19Do you have any idea how many times a day I get asked for my autograph?

0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Hm.- Sorry, I didn't mean to... - Here.

0:08:22 > 0:08:23Come along now.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25My TV crew will be here within the hour.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30Awesome. I'm going to add this to my autograph collection.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Since when did you have an autograph collection?

0:08:32 > 0:08:35Since now. You're looking at it. Woo!

0:08:36 > 0:08:38It's time to talk to Esme.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41She keeps making me jump. It's giving me aerophagia.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Aero...what? - The hiccups.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Look, you're the only one who can get her to do the scare,

0:08:47 > 0:08:49- you're her best friend. - WAS her best friend.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52I know Esme can be a pain sometimes, don't get me wrong,

0:08:52 > 0:08:54but you don't want to fall out with her, plus,

0:08:54 > 0:08:57if you do, Davenport will leave and the castle won't get on TV.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58What do you think, Trafford?

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Oh.

0:09:01 > 0:09:03All right. Fine.

0:09:04 > 0:09:05Yeah.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08All right. Right, I'll talk to her,

0:09:08 > 0:09:11but don't expect me to be her best friend straightaway.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Drink up.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Esme, Dylan's got something to...

0:09:22 > 0:09:25Yay, two of my most favourite friends in the whole wide world.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31This isn't... This isn't you.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33- What's happening here? - Would you like a cupcake?

0:09:33 > 0:09:35I baked them myself.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Rich wants to know if you can be scary for us.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Oh, I've turned over a new leaf.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43You said I couldn't hang out with you if I was scary.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45But... Esme, I know it's come at a bad time,

0:09:45 > 0:09:50but the castle's going to be on TV and we really need you to be ghosty.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53I'm sorry, Richiepoo, but I'll do anything you need,

0:09:53 > 0:09:55I just don't do scary.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Let's have a dollies' tea party.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Um, bruv, I'm going to leave you to it.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Bye, friends.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09That's Princess Sparkle.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12This is Lady Sweet Pea.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14And that's Roderick the Rascal.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18Be very careful with him - he's a very, very naughty boy.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Esme, what's happening here?

0:10:20 > 0:10:22We're having a dollies' tea party.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25A zombie tea party I'd believe, but this isn't you.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29The old you would have been all, "I'm Princess Sparkle

0:10:29 > 0:10:31"and I'm going to eat your brains!

0:10:31 > 0:10:33"Brains!"

0:10:33 > 0:10:34No!

0:10:34 > 0:10:37Princess Sparkle would never eat brains.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39She's a vegan.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42What did that mean Dylan make you do?

0:10:42 > 0:10:43Why don't we go and have some fun?

0:10:43 > 0:10:45We can have a custard fight

0:10:45 > 0:10:47or see what's the biggest thing we can flush down the toilet.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49We can always try Jimmy's duvet again.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51I thought you wanted me to be more like this?

0:10:51 > 0:10:55Yeah, but, I did, but... this is just creepy.

0:10:55 > 0:10:59Well, get used to it, BFF, cos this is the new Esme!

0:11:00 > 0:11:02So, let's recap.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Davenport thinks that Gabe is a human.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07And we can't rely on Esme now to be scary,

0:11:07 > 0:11:09she's apparently turned into Tinkerbell.

0:11:09 > 0:11:10So, in short, we're ghostless.

0:11:10 > 0:11:14But we still need to try and find a way to prove the castle is haunted

0:11:14 > 0:11:16to give Davenport what he's expecting.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17What about the poltergeist?

0:11:17 > 0:11:20We can bang some pots and pans and get that bad boy out the cellar.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23He wants to scare his viewers, not give them a heart attack.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26She's got a point. I need more ideas, guys, hit me.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29We make a cake shaped like a ghost and then say,

0:11:29 > 0:11:32"That's what we thought you wanted." And then eat the cake.

0:11:32 > 0:11:37We release a lion into the castle and try and scare him like that.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41Or we tell Davenport this whole thing was a huge mistake

0:11:41 > 0:11:43and call the whole thing off. Who's with me?

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Boring.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Cake, lion... Fake!

0:11:48 > 0:11:50That's it.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Look, we'll fake a haunting and we can be ghosts.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55- But I am already a ghost. - Yeah, I know that.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58That's why you're going to be the human

0:11:58 > 0:12:01pretending to be scared by the ghosts.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03So you want me, who's a ghost,

0:12:03 > 0:12:06to pretend to be a human, who are scared of ghosts

0:12:06 > 0:12:08who aren't really ghosts?

0:12:08 > 0:12:10He's got it. It's quite simple, really.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12I think I preferred Gabe's lion idea.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18We go live at eight o'clock.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21We'll kick off with your intro to camera, upstairs in the library.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24Then we'll do a walk-and-talk with the owners.

0:12:24 > 0:12:25Make sure you get my good side.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Remind me which side is that again.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29The front one, obviously.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32Why would anyone in their right minds want to hide this?

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Mr Davenport, all set for the filming?

0:12:36 > 0:12:38We will be if your ghosts ever turn up.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42I can assure you the ghosts are never that far away in this place.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46Speaking as an ordinary human,

0:12:46 > 0:12:49I find it all quite terrifying living here.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Oohh!

0:12:58 > 0:13:01Oh, my goodness, there they are.

0:13:01 > 0:13:07We are the ghosts of Bogmoor Castle.

0:13:07 > 0:13:11You will never banish us.

0:13:11 > 0:13:16We belong here. Woo!

0:13:16 > 0:13:18And you!

0:13:18 > 0:13:21We are really scary!

0:13:21 > 0:13:24WEAKLY: Ohh! Eee!

0:13:25 > 0:13:26Gabe.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Ah, ghosts!

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Real ghosts!

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Look how realistic they are.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40Who is the one they call Mr Davenport?

0:13:40 > 0:13:48We have crossed over to commune with you. You, you, you, you...

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Ooh!

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Ah!

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Watch where you're stepping, you big-footed klutz!

0:13:56 > 0:13:59I don't have big feet. It was your chain that got in the way.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Take no notice of these imposters, Mr Davenport,

0:14:01 > 0:14:05for I am the real ghost of Bogmoor Castle.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09He is, I can vouch for that, take it from a real gh... I mean, human.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12I mean... I'm so confused.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19- Do you think I'm stupid? - Well...

0:14:19 > 0:14:21No, no, sir.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24Do you think you're the first people to attempt to lure me somewhere

0:14:24 > 0:14:27claiming to have resident ghosts in an attempt to get on television

0:14:27 > 0:14:29so as to put their place onto the tourist map?

0:14:29 > 0:14:33- But this castle really is haunted. - Then what's all this?

0:14:33 > 0:14:35See, I told you it would never work.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38- It's really complicated, yeah. - Try me.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40Well, our resident scary ghost

0:14:40 > 0:14:43has decided to not be a scary ghost any more.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46It is true, my Lord, she is upstairs playing with dollies.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Dollies!

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Ghosts don't play with dollies.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Well, she realised that being scary made her lonely,

0:14:53 > 0:14:55so she's trying to change.

0:14:58 > 0:15:04Precisely one hour, I'm going to be doing a live television broadcast.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07My viewers are going to be expecting this show to be broadcast

0:15:07 > 0:15:12from a castle inhabited by real, actual, scary ghosts.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14And if you can't provide me

0:15:14 > 0:15:17with some evidence that this place is haunted by the time we go to air,

0:15:17 > 0:15:20then I promise you that I shall expose you as the charlatans

0:15:20 > 0:15:22I'm starting to suspect that you are.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27See if that puts you on the tourist map.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29Paul, Brenda, shall we do a run-through, hm?

0:15:31 > 0:15:33I thought we were quite convincing, you know?

0:15:33 > 0:15:35You, you, you, you, you...

0:15:35 > 0:15:38I was just giving it a bit of pizzazz.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Esme just doesn't want to be scary any more.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45I don't even think Master Dylan can turn her around.

0:15:45 > 0:15:46We've lost her.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49Just like Master Jimmy lost his trousers sliding down the banister.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51That still gives me nightmares even now.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54I knew this plan was doomed from the start.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56But it's my best chance to be a TV celeb.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58I've been working on my best celebrity smile as well.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01You need some crackers with that cheese.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Hey, where you going?

0:16:04 > 0:16:06To check if Esme's OK.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Maybe if she talks to another girl she might come around.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11You, girly chat?

0:16:11 > 0:16:15No offence, cupcake, but don't think girly chats are really your thing.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18Er, just because I like to wear jeans and get my hands dirty

0:16:18 > 0:16:20doesn't mean I'm not in touch with my feminine side, cupcake.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23So, what do we do now?

0:16:23 > 0:16:25There's only one option left.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28The unthinkable.

0:16:28 > 0:16:29- Demolish the castle... - What?

0:16:29 > 0:16:31- ..quickly rebuild it somewhere else...- No!

0:16:31 > 0:16:35- ..before Davenport even finds out. - The poltergeist.

0:16:39 > 0:16:45Humans are scared of everything. Roller coasters, ghosts, even mice.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Mice?

0:16:47 > 0:16:48Don't be so ridiculous.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00I knew it was you!

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Yeah, who'd be scared of a mouse?

0:17:07 > 0:17:09- Mr Davenport... - Careful.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Having your make-up done, I see.

0:17:12 > 0:17:13Very observant of you.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16I thought it was only the females of the modern era wore make-up?

0:17:17 > 0:17:20Is there something I can help you with?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22I thought it'd be nice to make conversation.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Human to human.

0:17:25 > 0:17:30It's been a while since I've been...just reading this newspaper

0:17:30 > 0:17:33like an ordinary 21st-century person.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36It's good to keep up on events in the human world...

0:17:36 > 0:17:38of which I am part of obviously.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44I see David Beckham...has purchased a new hat.

0:17:44 > 0:17:45Hm.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53It's great to be alive, everybody, isn't it?

0:17:55 > 0:17:59I love waking up to the smell of flowers in the morning.

0:17:59 > 0:18:00Makes me feel alive.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03Taking a deep breath.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07Eating a well-prepared meal.

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Such things make me glad to be alive.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19It's the little things... that I would miss if I were a ghost.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23Even like sweating. Taking a bath.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27You like sweating?

0:18:27 > 0:18:31I'd miss that if I were not such a...ordinary human.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Yes, but you're not such an ordinary human, are you?

0:18:34 > 0:18:39You're an exceedingly strange person. Quite the weirdest one I've ever met.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42Now, go away, I have a television show to prepare for.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52- Careful, that's expensive. - Sorry.

0:19:11 > 0:19:12Got a sec?

0:19:12 > 0:19:14I suppose.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22Hey, Esme. I guess it's tough being a ghost.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25Is this another attempt to get me into being scary for that TV show?

0:19:25 > 0:19:27We just want to check you're OK.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Look, being dead must get lonely sometimes.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31What would you two know about being a ghost?

0:19:31 > 0:19:36I once played a short-sighted ghost detective in a flopped TV pilot

0:19:36 > 0:19:38called The Spectacle Spectre Inspector.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42And I just found out exactly how hard it is to be scary.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Being nice is way tougher.

0:19:44 > 0:19:45You really love scaring, don't you?

0:19:45 > 0:19:47It's what I'm good at.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Good? You're amazing.

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Well, it takes some serious skill.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52A lot more skill than I've got apparently.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Look, I know that if anyone tried to change who I am,

0:19:57 > 0:19:58I'd tell them where to get off.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00Unless it was for a part.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02How do you like your eggs? Mwha-ha-ha...

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Dani, your blood's ready.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Sorry, guys, must feast before dawn.

0:20:09 > 0:20:10Bye.

0:20:13 > 0:20:14If I was you, I'd make myself scarce.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17- We're going to wake the poltergeist. - You can't do that.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Yeah, the poltergeist is completely unpredictable.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22What choice do we have? Davenport needs a ghost.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Esme's gone nice and Gabe's gone human.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27Old Polty Boy is the only ghost around here.

0:20:27 > 0:20:28Stand back.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34DOOR CREAKS OPEN

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Here, poltygeisty-geisty.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42POTS AND PANS BANG

0:20:43 > 0:20:44You sure about this?

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Come on, Polty-Pants, come out and scare us.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05Ew. Does the poltergeist have a cold?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Do ghosts even get colds? - I think poltergeists do.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Great. The poltergeist was our last hope.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24Now Davenport's going to humiliate us all live on TV.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27We're doomed.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Let's just get this over and done with.

0:21:41 > 0:21:42I am Wonder Mouse!

0:21:44 > 0:21:50I am a more dynamic Diego. I am Wonder Mouse! Saviour of the meek!

0:21:50 > 0:21:51No, you're an idiot!

0:21:53 > 0:21:56I've also got a catch phrase.

0:21:56 > 0:21:58Mice to see you!

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Oh, I've got a catch phrase for you.

0:22:00 > 0:22:04I'm Diego and I'm completely ridiculous!

0:22:04 > 0:22:06- No!- Catchy, huh?

0:22:06 > 0:22:07It's Wonder Mouse!

0:22:11 > 0:22:12- HE GASPS - My cape's caught.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14What a hero.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Welcome, spirit fans

0:22:26 > 0:22:30to another edition of Mostly Haunted with me, Damien Davenport.

0:22:30 > 0:22:34This week we come to you live from Bogmoor Castle in Northern Ireland.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37A country rich in mystery and magic.

0:22:37 > 0:22:39With me now are the young owners of the castle.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41Rich, Jimmy, Gabe and Kait.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Yeah, Kait doesn't actually live here.

0:22:44 > 0:22:45She's more of a hanger-on.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48Can you tell me a little bit more about why you brought me here today?

0:22:48 > 0:22:53- Well, basically, our castle is haunted.- Really haunted.

0:22:53 > 0:22:54Yeah, we got ghosts coming out of our ears.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Strange, because in all the hours I've been here,

0:22:57 > 0:23:00I've yet to find any evidence of any haunting.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Perhaps it's so haunted that even ghosts are scared.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Or maybe your ghosthunting powers aren't working today,

0:23:06 > 0:23:08or perhaps you never had any at all.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11But the castle is still a great place to visit, I mean,

0:23:11 > 0:23:14we take bookings for weddings, birthday parties, tours...

0:23:14 > 0:23:16Let's explore, shall we?

0:23:16 > 0:23:21And then maybe we shall discover how truly haunted this place really is.

0:23:28 > 0:23:29Ah.

0:23:31 > 0:23:32Oh.

0:23:36 > 0:23:37It's as I suspected.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40There's no evidence of ghosts here either.

0:23:40 > 0:23:45There's not a single hint of the restless dead in this place.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48Personally I don't think you'd be able to spot a ghost

0:23:48 > 0:23:50if there was one right under your nose.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Even if there was one standing right in front of you.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55I may be a failure as a person,

0:23:55 > 0:23:58but at least I'm not a failure as a ghosthunter.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03Ladies and gentlemen at home, I must apologise.

0:24:03 > 0:24:07Sometimes here on Mostly Haunted we get letters from charlatans

0:24:07 > 0:24:10making false claims, and I believe that this is one such...

0:24:12 > 0:24:13What's going on?

0:24:15 > 0:24:16- Esme. - Is that your plumbing?

0:24:18 > 0:24:21Mr D, brace yourself, it's about to get funky.

0:24:27 > 0:24:28Cool.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36Finally a ghost.

0:24:36 > 0:24:37See, I told you.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40Who are you, creature of the other world?

0:24:42 > 0:24:45Tell me, spirit, what is it that you want?

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Oh, nothing. I just want to scare you.

0:24:47 > 0:24:48She's back.

0:24:54 > 0:24:55That's my girl.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02OK.

0:25:02 > 0:25:03So I'm not a great superhero.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07But...I did make this cape.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10There's got to be something I can do with it.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12Oh. I know.

0:25:14 > 0:25:15SHE BLOWS

0:25:17 > 0:25:18Roxy!

0:25:18 > 0:25:20So easy to wind up.

0:25:23 > 0:25:28We didn't get any of that. He jumped on me...again!

0:25:28 > 0:25:32But it was really scary. I mean, really scary.

0:25:32 > 0:25:33Boo!

0:25:37 > 0:25:40Well, not all of us can be as unfrightening as my brother.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43Oh. He's a ghost!

0:25:43 > 0:25:44He's rubbish.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46But he's the best at being my big brother.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48And at being our mate.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51- Gabe, don't ever change. - Or you, Esme.

0:25:51 > 0:25:52CAR HORN BEEPS

0:25:52 > 0:25:54Oh, that's my car.

0:25:54 > 0:25:58I best go and see what I can salvage out of this ghost train wreck.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Don't you ever get scared, Mr Davenport?

0:26:00 > 0:26:03I live my life in the shadows.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05I've seen things that you can barely comprehend.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08From the strange to the bizarre.

0:26:08 > 0:26:13No, it would take an awful lot to terrify m... M...

0:26:13 > 0:26:15What is that thing?

0:26:15 > 0:26:17It's unnatural. It's terrifying.

0:26:17 > 0:26:18Keep it away from me!

0:26:18 > 0:26:21It's my bearded dragon, Mr Davenport,

0:26:21 > 0:26:23we just want to say hello before you go.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26Argh!

0:26:26 > 0:26:29- Adios, my little friend. - But it's only Trafford.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32- See you.- Bye.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38So, the castle got on TV and nobody saw any ghosts.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Sounds like a winner all round.

0:26:40 > 0:26:41And our secret's safe.

0:26:41 > 0:26:42I knew you'd come back.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45- It's what I'm best at, right? - Hey.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47What's a few scares between friends?

0:26:47 > 0:26:49In that case...

0:26:49 > 0:26:50Oh-oh!

0:26:50 > 0:26:53Everybody run!

0:27:17 > 0:27:20Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd