0:00:03 > 0:00:07ALARM SOUNDS
0:00:08 > 0:00:12Ah! Auto-pilot successfully engaged!
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Excellent work, Coordinator Zang. Now, could you do it all again?
0:00:16 > 0:00:19- Why?- I forgot to press record.
0:00:19 > 0:00:24- What are you doing with the camera? - I thought I'd go for a wide shot,
0:00:24 > 0:00:26then come in close, maybe go tight at the end,
0:00:26 > 0:00:30and this time, could you be more natural?
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Why are you filming me?
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Oh, I've been so inspired by the human Dani show
0:00:35 > 0:00:37I thought we could make our own!
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- We'll call it Zark And Zang! - That's a preposterous idea!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Terrible! Never heard such nonsense!
0:00:43 > 0:00:49But a show called Zang And Zark, now that might work.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Hi, my name's Dani, and this is my wonderful...
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- I'm Sam!- Oi!- Her best friend.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- As I was saying... - I'm her best friend, too, Toby!
0:00:59 > 0:01:02As I was saying, this is my show. MAX!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04That's me! I'm her brother.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06- Get out of it... - And I'm his best friend, Ben.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09As I was saying, my name's Dani, and this is my show.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11- It's not your show!- Well, it is...!
0:01:11 > 0:01:13THEY ALL ARGUE
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Hey!
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Ta-dah!
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Yes, to the dress. No, to the comedy platforms.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Seconded.- Yeah, thirded.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30BABY GARGLES
0:01:30 > 0:01:33But you definitely think this is the dress?
0:01:33 > 0:01:37One that expresses my personality, yet retains a hint of mystery.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41- Says subtle yet stylish. - Makes your bum look like J-Lo's.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Oh! This is the dress!
0:01:42 > 0:01:46You must be so excited, your first award nomination,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48AND for Best Actress, no less!
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Well...- Paid for by your peers, voted by your admirers,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54recognised for your hard work.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57- Well, it's...- What an honour! - Well...
0:01:57 > 0:01:58I've not thought of it like that!
0:01:58 > 0:02:02- I was just looking forward to free food!- There's gonna be free food?!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- Woo-hoo!- Now I'm nervous. Gee, Sam!
0:02:05 > 0:02:08It's OK to be nervous, it's a big night for you.
0:02:08 > 0:02:13I suppose. And whatever happens, at least I have my best buds with me!
0:02:13 > 0:02:14You sure will,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17and I'm touched that you've used your two guest passes on us.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Wouldn't wanna share my big moment with anyone else!
0:02:20 > 0:02:21And if I win this trophy,
0:02:21 > 0:02:26- it belongs as much to you guys as to me.- Aw, that's so sweet!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Group hug!- Course, it'll only have my name on it!
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Humans certainly do strange things to communicate affection.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Agreed. Tentaclising is so much more enjoyable.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Shall we?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43TOGETHER: Mmmmm!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Mmmmmmm!
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- You're one weird kid.- Aw, thanks!
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Anyway, better get Max's lunch.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59If his milk shake's any warmer than three degrees below room temperature,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01he'll start to foam at the mouth.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Well, I'm sorted. We've gotta get you two looking red carpet-tastic
0:03:05 > 0:03:07if we're gonna get our picture in the paper!
0:03:07 > 0:03:11If we do, I hope it's the Grimsby Bungee Club News. My Nan gets that.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16She likes the pictures.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Forget local. I'm talking national, my face across the country.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21You can't buy publicity like that,
0:03:21 > 0:03:23but I've got three hours to improve my chances.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- Why, have you got a hot date later? - I wish.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30- My friend Molly's coming round. - Molly from your acting class?- Yep.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32She was fried egg, I was toast,
0:03:32 > 0:03:34we bonded laughing at the girl playing ketchup.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36No, sequins scare me.
0:03:36 > 0:03:41- Although they're plastic, the gold's conductive.- A simple "no" will do!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Then no. So didn't Molly move abroad?
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Yeah. Poor girl couldn't get hired for dog shampoo over here,
0:03:47 > 0:03:48so she moved to America.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Last I heard she was trying for some cable show. Hey!
0:03:51 > 0:03:55It's fine, I'll just wear my red skirt and black shirt.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- The science shirt? - It's not a science shirt,
0:03:57 > 0:04:00and last time I wore it I got a lot of compliments.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Weren't you at a chemistry convention?
0:04:03 > 0:04:04BOTH: It's a science shirt.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09SHE RINGS BELL
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, how can I help ya?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- My friend's style dial is broken. - I'm not familiar with that,
0:04:17 > 0:04:21is it one of those new fangled, dangled Japanese gadgets?
0:04:21 > 0:04:25No. Style dial, style radar -
0:04:25 > 0:04:28it's that thing that separates the cool and sophisticated
0:04:28 > 0:04:30from those who would wear this.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32"What do you do with dead atoms? Barium."
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I, uh...see your problem.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Luckily I know a thing or two about fashion.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43Bring your friend in. I'll get the alterations done on that style dial,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- and have her looking as fabulous as us in no time.- Us?
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Uh, I don't think so.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Wait! You haven't even seen my sequin leg-warmers!
0:04:52 > 0:04:53They're to die for!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Sorry, Sam, this is all I could find in Mum's wardrobe.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03BABY LAUGHS
0:05:06 > 0:05:08"Make Sam kool"?
0:05:09 > 0:05:13TV: 'Are you dynamic? A go-getter? The guy everyone else wants to be?
0:05:13 > 0:05:20'If not, for just £160 the Dress For Success Trouser Press will...'
0:05:20 > 0:05:23..Never be yours. Right, I'm clearing this room of rubbish.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24So, get lost.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- You're cleaning up? - It's not that amazing.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31It's so amazing that if you told me you'd been abducted by aliens
0:05:31 > 0:05:34and put to work on their spaceship, I'd believe that more.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40All this talk of aliens abducting humans really gets my boat.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Goat. The human expression is "get my goat",
0:05:43 > 0:05:45but I agree with the sentiment.
0:05:45 > 0:05:50Thank you, Coordinator Zark. Us aliens get such a bad rap.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52But we haven't abducted any humans.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- Well, not for a while, anyway. - Exactly.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57And we returned the last ones,
0:05:57 > 0:06:00you dropped them off on your last recon mission.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04No, YOU dropped them off on your way back from the Pluto snack run.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08BOTH: Oops!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11You must really want to impress this Molly person,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13if you wanna do all this.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Yeah, the only appliance I've ever seen you use is the iron,
0:06:16 > 0:06:20and that was to straighten your hair. She must be pretty special.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Don't get me wrong, Molly's great,
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- but I haven't seen her since... - HOOVER STARTS >
0:06:26 > 0:06:30- I said vacuum the stairs, not hairs! - Shall I turn the vacuum off, then?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Keep it down, Fartface, and don't scrimp on the wax!
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Wanna see my reflection in these floors.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Probably wanting paying, next.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Anyway, where was I...?
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Oh yeah, Molly.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Thing is, I feel sorry for her.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Moving all that way to LA and still not making it. Must be tough.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I think she sees our friendship as her last link to showbusiness.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52So, if she's not all that, why do all this?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Just because Molly's struggling
0:06:54 > 0:06:57doesn't mean I want her to think I'm not successful.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58And on that note,
0:06:58 > 0:07:02do you think you guys can be a little less like you guys?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05OK, who d'you want us to be, then?
0:07:05 > 0:07:11You, but...not you, if you get my drift.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- What she means is, don't embarrass her.- Yep!
0:07:14 > 0:07:16And no, just being...cool.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Charming! So what happened to, "You're my best friends",
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- "My win is your win"?- Still stands!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Just if you could be more sophisticated
0:07:24 > 0:07:28and a little less odd bestest friends, I'd really appreciate it!
0:07:30 > 0:07:32APPLAUSE
0:07:32 > 0:07:34So my next contestant is Dani!
0:07:34 > 0:07:38So, Dani, I hear you're in the acting business.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Tell us what that's like!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- Well...- Ha-ha-ha! Isn't that marvellous, folks?!
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Give her a big hand!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45APPLAUSE
0:07:45 > 0:07:49So, Dani, let's remind everyone what you can win tonight on the...
0:07:49 > 0:07:51# Wheel of Friendship! #
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Thanks, girls! Aren't they terrific?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57So, tonight's star prize if you spin the win is,
0:07:57 > 0:08:01you get to keep your own best friends!
0:08:01 > 0:08:05So go on, Dani! Spin...that...whe-e-e-e-l!
0:08:08 > 0:08:12MUSICAL JINGLE, WHEEL CLICKS
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- AUDIENCE: Aaaaaw! - You don't go home empty-handed,
0:08:17 > 0:08:21you go home with the consolation prize, a grumpy granny!
0:08:21 > 0:08:23BOOING
0:08:24 > 0:08:26# Wheel of Friendship! #
0:08:26 > 0:08:27- DOORBELL RINGS - Ooh!
0:08:27 > 0:08:32That's Molly! How do I look? Ooh, don't mention the award ceremony.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34My career may be streets ahead of Molly's
0:08:34 > 0:08:37but I wouldn't want to rub her nose in it.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38- Hi!- Hello!
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Mwah! Mwah!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- Molly, meet my friends! Sam... - Sam, that's a great name!
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Sam, uh, bu... Short for Samantha! But everyone just calls me Sam.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Named after my great grandmother, Samantha Jane Brown!
0:08:56 > 0:08:59And, uh...Toby!
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- So, how was your, uh... - MOBILE RINGS
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Oh! Better take it, it's my agent!
0:09:04 > 0:09:08I said less odd, less! What is wrong with you two?!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10What's wrong with us? What's wrong with YOU?!
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Why didn't you tell us you were friends with Mo White?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15How do you know Molly's surname?
0:09:15 > 0:09:20Because she's, like, super-duper, face-on-your-T-shirt famous.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- For what?- Tons of things!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24You know the American reality show you refuse to watch
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- because you think it's rude? - Strictly Come Line Dancing.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- She presents it.- And that other show, The Y-Front Factor!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- BOTH: "We've got the Y-Front Factor, do you?!"- Ssssh!
0:09:34 > 0:09:38So, your agent, eh?! Estate agent?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40No, TV agent, about a job!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Not another dog shampoo gig!
0:09:42 > 0:09:45No, although I do get to work with animals.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49It's the Pet Oscars, and Zac Efron's hamster is up for best actor!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51MOBILE RINGS
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- Hello? ..Cute top!- She touched you!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57SHE TALKS ON PHONE
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I can't be the only person who didn't know Molly was famous!
0:10:00 > 0:10:02BIRDS CHIRP
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Oh, Mo White! I can't believe it,
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- she's one of my favourite human prototypes!- Me too!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13This show just keeps getting better and better!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Waaaaah!
0:10:16 > 0:10:21- Mo White, in my house! Aaaaah! - Aaaaah!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23You don't know who she is, do you?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26That woman who likes apples and works with small people!
0:10:26 > 0:10:29That's Snow White! Goodbye!
0:10:30 > 0:10:34I'm sorry! Forgot to mention this was home to the criminally insane.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37MOBILE RINGS Oh, sorry! Hello?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41- It's a surprise that, uh, Mo is... - So nice. I know.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Oh, I can talk again!
0:10:43 > 0:10:46And I don't feel the need to spout some obscure fact!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48So you're feeling less star struck.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Probably realising she's just a normal person.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Johnny! Johnny Depp, how are you?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Am I the man, or am I the man?!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02I dunno who the man is!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05It's just a saying, Ben.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07That shopping channel woman was right!
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Every man should carry a nose trimmer for nasal hair emergencies?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13No, "Dress for success."
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Seeing Mo downstairs, knowing what she's achieved,
0:11:16 > 0:11:20I realise I'm aiming too low. I've gotta push myself!
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Become a go-getter. - GUITAR WAILS
0:11:23 > 0:11:26I want to be the guy everyone else wants to be!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Spongebob Squarepants?
0:11:28 > 0:11:31The guy who invented microwave pizza!
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Oh yeah!
0:11:33 > 0:11:36But every new venture requires money.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39And I know just where to get mine.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42EVIL LAUGHTER
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha?!
0:11:47 > 0:11:50OK, this is me in my garden, I know it's not as big as some,
0:11:50 > 0:11:54but I did need to leave room for the hot tub and swimming pool.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Did you know the average swimming pool in Phoenix, Arizona,
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- collects around 20 pounds of dust a year?- No way!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Because my pool picks up stuff too.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Mainly leaves, but it's a real pain to clean!
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Sam, you know some pretty cool stuff!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18So what if she's rich, famous and beautiful.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21She probably works so hard she has no time to enjoy it.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26And that's me at Paris's Wednesday party. She throws one every week!
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- They're a real hit. - Paris Hilton?- Mm-hmm.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31OMG.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Coordinator Zark, is it a good thing to be famous?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Certainly! You're invited to the best parties
0:12:38 > 0:12:42with other famous beings, and people send you underwear
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- and pictures of themselves even when they don't know you.- Right.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48In that case, I want to be famous.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50How do I do that?
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Hmmm... Do you possess a unique talent that would inspire adoration
0:12:54 > 0:12:56and mass hysteria in teenage girls?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Do I ever! They don't call me Zippity Zang for nothing!
0:13:02 > 0:13:06# Oh, ho-ho, wow Yup-pap-ah, yup-pap-ah
0:13:06 > 0:13:09# Ooooaw Everybody now!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11# Oooooh... #
0:13:12 > 0:13:17I'm not comparing, but Molly - "Mo" - has a Malibu home,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20superstar neighbours, a glamorous job that pays squillions,
0:13:20 > 0:13:22and what have I got?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25The thing is, maybe I'm not meant to be an actress.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Maybe there's another job out there I should be doing.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31If there is, please don't let it involve being nice to children!
0:13:36 > 0:13:40- Ooh!- I want a remote controlled car complete with a turbo engine,
0:13:40 > 0:13:44booster bumpers, and a spill-resistant coffee cup holder.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47You're six, what do you need a coffee cup holder for?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49I don't! But I want one, and if I don't get one,
0:13:49 > 0:13:53I am going to...A-A-A-ARGH!
0:13:53 > 0:13:57OK, OK! Big wheels, coffee cup holder. Got it!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- How many more?- 3,464.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06This is a no-go area
0:14:06 > 0:14:09for anyone's name that starts with "M" and ends in "ax".
0:14:09 > 0:14:12We won't be long, we just wanna ask for a few autographs.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16No chance. She's already got enough people hassling her.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17LAUGHTER
0:14:17 > 0:14:19She definitely sounds hassled.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Look, whatever.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24I just don't see why everyone's going gooey over a TV presenter.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28It's all right, Dani. It's not like she's a proper actress, like you.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Didn't you say she couldn't get a job in a dog food ad?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Shampoo. Dog shampoo ad.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36She couldn't even get hired to play a flea!
0:14:36 > 0:14:42But you, you would have played that flea with flair and passion!
0:14:42 > 0:14:43People would have wept!
0:14:43 > 0:14:48So what's fame, success and money, without talent, eh?
0:14:48 > 0:14:52All right, Max. You've helped to put everything into perspective.
0:14:52 > 0:14:57- That's what cute little brothers are for. So can we...?!- Not a chance!
0:14:58 > 0:15:01You gotta give the boy points for trying, though.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Hello? Working undercover, here!
0:15:12 > 0:15:17Sorry, Dani, I've been having so much fun I've forgotten to ask about you!
0:15:17 > 0:15:21- So, what's up in Dani-land?- The usual, hanging out, buying shoes,
0:15:21 > 0:15:25- getting nominated for a Best Actress award...- Oh, that is brilliant!
0:15:25 > 0:15:29- I always knew you'd be winning awards!- You did?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31With your talent? Of course!
0:15:31 > 0:15:35- What's the awards? The Oscars? SAG? TV Choice?- Oh, eh, um...
0:15:35 > 0:15:37It's not important.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39BAF...WA's...
0:15:39 > 0:15:45- What was that? I thought he said... - BAFWA.- Yes!- No! No...
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Did he mean BAFTA?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49No, Dani's been nominated for a BAFWA.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53The British Academy of Footwear Advertising Awards, it's tonight.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Dani's favourite to win for her portrayal in a slipper commercial!
0:15:56 > 0:16:00That is so rad! Your publicist must be thrilled!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03My publicist? Oh, yeah... yeah, she is.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05We're hoping I get my picture in the paper.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Which I am bound to do if you come with me!
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Dani, I would love to. Let me check my diary!
0:16:13 > 0:16:16So which one of us two are you planning to drop
0:16:16 > 0:16:21- seeing as you only have two guest passes?- Please don't say me!
0:16:21 > 0:16:24I've never had a free meal at an awards ceremony before!
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Don't get all uppity.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28I'm not the one who's swallowed an encyclopaedia,
0:16:28 > 0:16:30or is acting like a tongue-tied teenager.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33No, you're acting like a superficial groupie.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Enhancing my career doesn't make me superficial.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I'm disappointed you can't see that.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Well I'm disappointed in you.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Me too.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- WHISPERS: - Unless you drop Sam!
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Taking Mo would be a good move for me.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53- Fine, I'll drop out. - Woo-hoo! I mean, um...thanks.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56It makes sense. I didn't have a glam outfit, anyway.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00I'm sorry, Sam. Promise I'll make it up to you!
0:17:00 > 0:17:04- Great news! I can make it!- So you found a window in your diary, then?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07I seem to have misplaced that, but I rang my agent
0:17:07 > 0:17:09and I don't have anything on.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10We're gonna have a blast!
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Let's find you an outfit. - What's wrong with this?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Darling, Madonna wore it last year.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Ooh! Sucks to be you, right now!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Nah. I'm not cut out for those glitzy red carpet do's.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27I know it's what Dani wants,
0:17:27 > 0:17:31but for me, real achievement is doing something life-changing.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Ooh, I know what you mean!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I've always wanted to invent a shirt that doesn't need buttons.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- Then my life would be perfect. - I think that's a T-shirt,
0:17:40 > 0:17:42- and you're wearing one.- Oh.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Hmm. My life IS perfect!
0:17:45 > 0:17:49Lucky you! No, my dream is to do something amazing.
0:17:49 > 0:17:55Like splitting the atom, inventing the wheel, making a difference.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- EAST EUROPEAN ACCENT: - I'm almost done.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Any minute now I will have created the greatest invention
0:18:03 > 0:18:05mankind will ever know!
0:18:05 > 0:18:07HAMMERING
0:18:08 > 0:18:11DRILLING
0:18:13 > 0:18:14It's finished!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Oh, Master!
0:18:18 > 0:18:22I can't wait to see what your ingenious, cunning, creative...
0:18:22 > 0:18:27- Don't forget "brilliant". - ..brilliant mind has come up with!
0:18:30 > 0:18:34It's incredible! Amazing! Unfathomable!
0:18:34 > 0:18:38- What is it?- I have no idea.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- Ta-dah!- I'm thinking...no.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Me too! You're so funny, Dani!
0:18:50 > 0:18:53So, you're rich, successful, gorgeous,
0:18:53 > 0:18:55have a pool that isn't inflatable,
0:18:55 > 0:18:57what's it like to have the perfect life?
0:18:57 > 0:19:01Not so perfect. The paparazzi follow me everywhere.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Can't believe I managed to slip away this morning.
0:19:03 > 0:19:08People calling your name, wanting your picture, sounds dreadful(!)
0:19:08 > 0:19:11I so envy you, being able to nip out without brushing your hair,
0:19:11 > 0:19:13whenever you want!
0:19:13 > 0:19:17Envy me? There's something seriously wrong with you, you need help.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Ooh! I'm a really good hypnotist!
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- Well, not REALLY good, but... - I've already got one.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27- And a psychotherapist, and of course, there's Mr Singh.- Your guru?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31No, my pet psychiatrist! Poochie has a fear of loud noises.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33He's worked wonders with him!
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I know, but that's Hollywood! It's not real life.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Not like what you have with your friends.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Yeah. Sam and Toby are great. But they're not in showbiz.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- They don't have the same pressures we do.- But you guys seem so close.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50- It so hard to make real friends when you're famous.- True.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54- Although I'm hoping after tonight I'll have a better idea!- Oh yeah!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56The BAFWAs, your big night! Let's get you ready!
0:19:56 > 0:20:00That's strange. I seem to have lost my comb,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03my lipstick, and my verruca cream!
0:20:03 > 0:20:06That's one pool I won't be swimming in!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08I can't imagine how I lost them!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16CAMERA CLICKS
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Thank you, cyberspace!
0:20:17 > 0:20:22Our online auction of Mo's stuff is gonna make us rich!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24The diary's had a thousand bids!
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Lucky I phoned all our friends and told them the objects are real,
0:20:27 > 0:20:29and Mo's really here!
0:20:30 > 0:20:32You told them she was here?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34No...
0:20:34 > 0:20:36I'm sure it'll be fine.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39And for once our plan won't affect Dani.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42We make stacks of cash and she can't complain.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46Oh, good, you're here.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50So are you! I thought you might have left after, you know...
0:20:50 > 0:20:55- Oh, I was going to but...- Uh, uh... - Oh, you're gonna have to translate.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58There's a small problem. Outside.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Got a smile for the camera, love?!
0:21:04 > 0:21:07- They've found me!- All those, for you?- That's pretty good.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10You should have seen it when I changed my hair colour.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- They went crazy!- Uh, wh... Uh...ed...
0:21:14 > 0:21:17- He loved you as a redhead. - Oh, thanks!
0:21:17 > 0:21:19But how did they find me?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22The only place I wrote where I was going, was my diary.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Which, by coincidence, has gone missing!
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I've got a good idea where it went.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Give me more, make that scarf come alive! Work that scarf!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36If it isn't America's Next Top Bimbo.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38You are gonna be grounded for so long
0:21:38 > 0:21:40you'll be walking with a Zimmer frame
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- when Mum finds out you're stealing. - Stealing?
0:21:42 > 0:21:46- That's a bit of a stretch.- Ben's wearing that scarf for fun, is he?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- You've put Mo's diary for sale online, haven't you?- No!
0:21:49 > 0:21:53Maybe. OK, yes.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56But it's not like a proper diary with personal stuff in.
0:21:56 > 0:22:01- Not like Dani's!- ..Would be! If you ever sold your memoirs.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- What's the big deal?- Look outside.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08SHOUTING
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- BOTH: Cool! - Not cool!
0:22:10 > 0:22:14I don't know how we're gonna get to the BAFWAs with that lot!
0:22:14 > 0:22:15You twerps have ruined my big night!
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Wait till I get my hands on you! Come back here!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Did two small, annoying kids come in here?
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- Greetings, valued customer! - Yeah, hi, hello. Whatever!
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Um, have you seen them?- Certainly! Would you like fries with that?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Or how about a shake? I'll give you free straws.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37I'm not here for food, I'm looking for two pint-size pains in the butt.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39I'm sorry, I can't discuss other customers.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41It's against company rules.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47What if I make it worth your while? Like, say, order a burger.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49And to go with that?
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Small fries and a cola.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55You mean large fries, milk shake and a side of onion rings?
0:22:57 > 0:23:01- So, have you seen them? - No. But have a nice day now!
0:23:05 > 0:23:09- You OK?- Apart from having my future totally ruined, I'm great(!)
0:23:09 > 0:23:13- Where's Mo?- Not here, obviously, as you're forming proper words.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16I think she's on the phone trying to figure out an exit plan.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20I can't believe I'm gonna miss my first ever award ceremony.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22So you're gonna chuck in the whole night
0:23:22 > 0:23:25cos your famous friend can't make it? That's pathetic.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29You're right. I've been so obsessed with this celebrity thing
0:23:29 > 0:23:34- I've lost track of what's important. - Please say the free meal.- No, me.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38And my best friends having a night out on the town!
0:23:38 > 0:23:40But I've blown that.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44Toby's right. You can't look a gift horse in the mouth.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Especially if it's been eating garlic.- So...you'll come?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50- Yay!- Woo-hoo!
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Hang on, what we gonna do about Mo?
0:23:54 > 0:23:56A-hem!
0:23:56 > 0:24:00- Wow!- Pretty impressive!- I'd buy it.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02It's like looking in the mirror!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04I'm not nominated for Best Actress for nothing!
0:24:04 > 0:24:06So, where are they?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Ladies! You look lovely.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Please don't make us do this!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16The crime must fit the punishment!
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Mum wanted to ground you but I wanted you to do this.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21BOTH: Sorry, Mo!
0:24:22 > 0:24:27We're sorry but we have to stop the auction for Mo's stuff online
0:24:27 > 0:24:32as we don't actually own them. So please stop bidding. OK?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Hi, Mum!
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Ben's enjoying this a little bit too much.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41That should win an award for best entertainment value.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Speaking of awards, we'd better get a move on.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Who knows who long it will take to get through that lot!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Toby, have you got the dress? - Mm-hmm.- Good.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53- And you're sure you don't mind babysitting?- Are you kidding?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56A chance to put my feet up, and hang out with these two gorgeous guys?!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59It'll be a breeze. BABY CRIES
0:24:59 > 0:25:02By the time the paps figure out that you're not me,
0:25:02 > 0:25:07I'll have escaped, dropped the boys off, and the baby, to Ben's house!
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Thank you!
0:25:08 > 0:25:11If you've stolen so much as a toenail clipping from Mo...
0:25:11 > 0:25:14After that performance, I'll be keeping a low profile online
0:25:14 > 0:25:16for...probably, ever.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19And they did give me back all my stuff.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Apart from the tissue. We just couldn't get that back.
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Mmmmm!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27You know, I really thought I wanted your life.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31And now you don't, cos you've seen fame ain't all it's cracked up to be?
0:25:31 > 0:25:33No, I'm pretty sure I still want it,
0:25:33 > 0:25:35but at least I'll have my friends there for the ride.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Who else is gonna hold my stuff while I sign autographs?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41C'mon, there's an award with my name on it!
0:25:41 > 0:25:45- Good luck!- Break a leg. - Merry Christmas!
0:25:45 > 0:25:48SHOUTING
0:25:48 > 0:25:54The nominations for Best Performance in a Footwear Commercial are -
0:25:54 > 0:25:57MICROPHONE FEEDBACK
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Hilga Heimlich in "Kitten Heels".
0:26:00 > 0:26:03APPLAUSE
0:26:06 > 0:26:10Samuel Swann's upbeat performance in "Flip Flops on a Sunny Day".
0:26:10 > 0:26:12APPLAUSE
0:26:12 > 0:26:15And lastly,
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Dani's moving portrayal of a tired foot finding the perfect slipper.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21APPLAUSE
0:26:22 > 0:26:24And the winner is...
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Dani!
0:26:29 > 0:26:30APPLAUSE
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Oh! Thank you so much! I can't believe it!
0:26:33 > 0:26:37Ever since my first acting role in a fire-drill demo...
0:26:37 > 0:26:41- Uh, that's all we have time for! - Wh..? I haven't finished yet!
0:26:45 > 0:26:49I just love awards ceremonies! So much pomp and funny clothing!
0:26:49 > 0:26:52- Do you agree, Coordinator Zang? - I do, Coordinator Zark.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54So, this should make you happy.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56COMPUTER BLEEPS
0:26:56 > 0:27:00- Oh, what's that for? - An awards ceremony, on our ship.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- I'm being honoured too!- What for?
0:27:03 > 0:27:07I've been voted the winner of Most Popular Alien on the Galaxonia.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09But that's this ship.
0:27:09 > 0:27:14Well that is clearly nonsense. I am the most popular alien on this ship.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16I think you'll find I won the vote!
0:27:16 > 0:27:19What vote? On whose authority?
0:27:19 > 0:27:22All right, I admit...
0:27:22 > 0:27:23COMPUTER BLEEPS
0:27:24 > 0:27:29..that I am now, and definitely, the most popular alien onboard!
0:27:29 > 0:27:33'Yes, but who's going to give you your award?!'
0:27:33 > 0:27:40# Sometimes I feel like breaking free
0:27:40 > 0:27:42# Let's lift these chains
0:27:42 > 0:27:47# Let's ride this wave right out to sea
0:27:47 > 0:27:50# I will be...breaking free. #
0:27:50 > 0:27:53E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk