0:00:02 > 0:00:04What is that you're writing, Co-ordinator Zark?
0:00:04 > 0:00:06It's a postcard, Co-ordinator Zang.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10Humans send them to loved ones during long spells away from home.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13I thought I'd let my friends know how the mission was going.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Have you written anything about me?
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Maybe.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21- Really?- Maybe.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25- Can I see?- I've not finished yet. - Let me see!- No!- Yes!- No!
0:00:25 > 0:00:27No! Let go!
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Who's that meant to be?
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Captain Sucky?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Hi, my name's Dani, and this is my wonderful...
0:00:40 > 0:00:42- I'm Sam.- Oi!- Her best friend.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43As I was saying...
0:00:43 > 0:00:45I'm her best friend too, Toby.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47As I was saying, this is my show.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49- Max!- That's me! I'm her brother.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- Get out of it. - And I'm his best friend, Ben.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is my show.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57ALL: It's not your show! It's my show!
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Where are they? They've got to be here somewhere. Oh!
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Max's pants! Oh, gross!
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Have you ever had a day where it feels like the world is against you?
0:01:16 > 0:01:19I woke up excited about this afternoon's big audition
0:01:19 > 0:01:22and here I am, up to my elbows in underwear.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24- DOORBELL - I don't have time for this.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29We were just going to the movies and we thought we'd pop in
0:01:29 > 0:01:34- and wish you good luck.- Go, Dani! Go, Dani! Go, Dani! Go, Dani! Go...
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Did I really just do that?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Let's never speak of it again.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Are you OK? You look a bit fed up.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Fed up, down, depressed, forlorn.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50I'd be miserable too if I'd been reading the dictionary.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54How could you possibly be miserable after Toby's cheerleading?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57We agreed never to mention it.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59I thought you'd be excited about your big audition.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- I don't think I'm going to go. - What happened?
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Something terrible - I've lost my lucky socks!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Oh, sorry, got that ringtone set a bit loud.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15I'll call them back, it's a business contact
0:02:15 > 0:02:17wanting to discuss a major new...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20My mum wants to know if I'll be back for tea.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23So, lucky socks. Care to explain?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I've worn them to every successful audition I've ever had.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30- Are you attached to that finger? - Obviously.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32I'm just saying, you know, magic socks.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- They're not magic, they're lucky, there's a difference.- Sure there is.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- Toby, Dani isn't mad.- Thank you, Sam.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41She's just completely deluded!
0:02:41 > 0:02:44The idea that an inanimate object could bring good or bad luck
0:02:44 > 0:02:47is just superstitious nonsense.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Translation, please.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Fine, stand and trade notes why I'm losing the plot,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I'll look for them myself.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- Have you called the police?- Yeah!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Like the police have a missing socks hotline!
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Welcome to Sock Watch, the show that aims to solve
0:03:07 > 0:03:10all your sock-related crime, wherever it strikes.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11I'm Jennifer Pancake.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- And I'm Nicholas Waffle.- If your socks have been damaged, stolen
0:03:15 > 0:03:17or verbally abused we can help.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Here's Nicholas with today's missing sock report.- Thanks, Jen.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23It's Jennifer.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Police are desperately hunting a pair of socks, said to be size 3-6,
0:03:27 > 0:03:29knitted and pink in colour.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32They have issued this image of the missing pair.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Thanks, Nick.- It's Nicholas. - If you think you can help,
0:03:37 > 0:03:39please call on this number.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Becoming prize kings was one of the best things we've ever done, Ben.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53I can't believe how good you are with competition questions.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55I can't help being brilliant.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Look at all this great stuff we've won.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Wow! I... WE couldn't have won it without you.
0:04:02 > 0:04:07- Please don't touch my... I mean, our prizes.- Sorry, Max.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12Hope your brilliant brain's feeling well-oiled to win us more prizes.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14We've got a lot of work to do.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16I have to find my lucky socks.
0:04:16 > 0:04:21- Where are they?- OK, think - where did you have them last?
0:04:21 > 0:04:25Well done. You win the prize for asking the most unhelpful question.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Somebody had to ask sooner or later, it's the law.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30We need to find those socks by a process of elimination.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I'll enter the data into my computer
0:04:33 > 0:04:36and run an algorithm detailing all the possible locations.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I don't have time for the nerd approach, Sam!
0:04:38 > 0:04:40No offence.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43None taken. Nerdishness is very in this season.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Right, I have an hour before I need to leave.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50If we're gonna find these socks, we need to search from top to bottom.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Bottom! We'll check the den.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Co-ordinator Zang, what is luck?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02It is a force that acts for good or bad in a being's life,
0:05:02 > 0:05:04shaping situations, events or opportunities.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Some foolish beings attach luck to everyday objects.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10In my opinion it doesn't even exist.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15Right, so some object, like, say, this big red button,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17could be either good or bad luck.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Be careful! That button controls our gyroscopic stabiliser.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24So, I guess it would be pretty unlucky if I pressed it?
0:05:24 > 0:05:28It would be suicidal. We would lose orbit and disintegrate.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30- That would make it an unlucky button?- No.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33So, it's a lucky button?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35No! Yes! No!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38It's just a button! Please, come away from it.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Fine! OK, whatever!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48'Warning! Atmospheric disintegration imminent!'
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Prepare for vaporisation!
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Let's go again, that was fun!
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- We could have been vaporised! - You were loving it!
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Loving it, Co-ordinator? This is me loving something.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03And this is what I was doing!
0:06:08 > 0:06:10DOORBELL RINGS
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- Your name Max?- Do I look like a Max?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20I dunno! It could be short for Maxine, Maximina, Maxette.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Max is my brother. - Well, I've got a delivery for him.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- A year's supply of dog food. - But we don't have a dog!
0:06:26 > 0:06:28My dog food's here! Yes!
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Congratulations, young man! Courtesy of Barky Boy Gourmet Dog Grub.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Why do you keep doing competitions to win stuff you don't need?
0:06:35 > 0:06:38You're just jealous cos the only thing you nearly won
0:06:38 > 0:06:41was the World's Biggest Loser competition,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43and even then you only came third!
0:06:43 > 0:06:44That's gotta hurt.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Hello! Private conversation, yeah?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Just drop the dog food round the front, my good man.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Max, have you seen my socks?
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Have you tried the end of your legs?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57You'd better not have eaten my socks, monkey face.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Guess there's only one way to find out...
0:07:03 > 0:07:05time for a nappy change.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Co-ordinator, what is a nappy?
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Absorbent underwear worn by a human infant.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23A human nappy is one of the most potent stenches in the universe.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Can't be worse than the armpit secretions
0:07:25 > 0:07:27of the Oltraksian Arcoblat.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- Oh, yes, they can.- Smellier than the gassiest emissions of the air-filled
0:07:31 > 0:07:32tanga-tanga five?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Considerably so.- Smellier than...
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Co-ordinator, do you intend to go through
0:07:37 > 0:07:39the entire A to Z of galactic smells?
0:07:39 > 0:07:43But I haven't even got to the farting fish of Floodraxias Prime.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Dani's socks have to be here somewhere.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51I want to know what you're doing.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53We're looking for a pair of socks?
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- Right.- And what's the one thing we know about socks?
0:07:56 > 0:08:00In 18th century BC they were made from matted animal hair?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02That they smell!
0:08:02 > 0:08:07So I'm using my head and following my nose.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Ow!
0:08:11 > 0:08:14I just fished through a full nappy for nothing.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Did you find anything down there?
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Dozen dead woodlice, a piece of chewing gum...
0:08:20 > 0:08:23oh, and this pirate's leg.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26That's not a pirate's leg, it's the wooden leg of the table.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28If you're going to be believe in socks...
0:08:28 > 0:08:30you might as well believe in the tooth fairy.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Oh, yeah? If the tooth fairy isn't real,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36who left all those pound coins under my pillow?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38The magical pillow-dwelling money mouse.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Ah! Of course!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Look, Dani, you've got a big audition,
0:08:42 > 0:08:45you're nervous, I understand,
0:08:45 > 0:08:48but you can't back out just because a pair of socks go missing.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49- Oh!- No.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52No! So, what you're saying is I need some new lucky charms
0:08:52 > 0:08:54and then everything will be fine?
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- I meant more that you have to believe you can.- I'll be right back.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Are you still giving away novelty lucky charms with a Jolly Meal?
0:09:04 > 0:09:08- Yes, Madam.- Can you buy the lucky charms separately?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11That would be against company policy as laid down by
0:09:11 > 0:09:13the Happy Big Burger Corporate Chart.
0:09:13 > 0:09:18If you want a lucky charm, you have to buy a Jolly Meal,
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- like everyone else.- How many lucky charms are there to collect?
0:09:21 > 0:09:2515. How many more do you need to complete your collection?
0:09:25 > 0:09:2715.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Oh, so that's 15 Jolly Meals is it, Madam?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34I suppose I don't actually have to eat them.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Oh, yes, you do, young lady!
0:09:36 > 0:09:41I'm not letting good food go to waste! Mmm, bon appetit!
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Complete the sentence in no more than 15 words.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50Softy Silk Handcream is the housewife's choice because...
0:09:50 > 0:09:55Because, er... something, something, oranges, something.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Try again.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02Because it keeps my hands as moist and supple as the day I was born.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03Perfect!
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Next one.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10In less than 25 words
0:10:10 > 0:10:14say why you deserve an all-expenses paid weekend on a working farm.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18Because I know that eggs come from hens, milk comes from cows
0:10:18 > 0:10:21and I want to know which animal lemonade comes from.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22Try again, Ben.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27Because the bright colours of the countryside make me feel so alive.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Ben, you're a natural.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32How can you be so good at this and so completely unique
0:10:32 > 0:10:34the rest of the time?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37My parents say I've got a very unusual brain.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Look at all these amazing treasures!
0:10:41 > 0:10:45The grandfather clock, sink plunger, subscription to Potato Monthly,
0:10:45 > 0:10:49musical oven glove, huge vat of anti-baldness lotion.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Which is working a treat on my legs!
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Looking good, Ben!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56What about this? Shall we put this in the bin?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58I can't imagine we'd want it.
0:10:58 > 0:11:04Not want it? That's the Mega Five Billion Total Reality Gaming Chair!
0:11:04 > 0:11:09- Ben, you've found the ultimate competition prize!- I have?
0:11:09 > 0:11:14Built-in surround sound speakers, made from form-fitting memory foam,
0:11:14 > 0:11:17dispenses liquid food from a pipe.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19It even deals with your poos!
0:11:19 > 0:11:23- That's my kind of chair. - And with your help, I'm...
0:11:23 > 0:11:25We're gonna win it!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29DRAMATIC ORGAN MUSIC
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Ah ha ha! - I'm going solo on this one, Ben.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Sorry, Max.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34DRAMATIC ORGAN MUSIC
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha!
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Ah ha ha ha!
0:11:38 > 0:11:42Who'd have though it? There is such a thing as too much junk food.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44What is that round your neck?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47My new lucky charms. My lucky four-leafed clover,
0:11:47 > 0:11:49my lucky horseshoe, my lucky rabbit's foot.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Not so lucky for the rabbit.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I need to test if these are actually lucky.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Oh! Here, toss a coin, heads or tails?
0:11:57 > 0:11:59- See whether your good luck's back. - Good thinking!
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Those charms won't make any difference.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Tossing a coin is about averages, not luck.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Heads or tails?- Tails never fails.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09You've got a 50/50 chance of getting it right,
0:12:09 > 0:12:11luck has nothing to do with it.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13- You were close!- How close?- Heads.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16How close can you be?
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Second time lucky. Heads this time.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Ow! Toby, you got my eye!
0:12:22 > 0:12:26There's clearly nothing lucky about any of this rubbish.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Without my socks I'm never going to be lucky again!
0:12:30 > 0:12:31SMASH!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Oh! Not for at least seven years.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42BELL
0:12:42 > 0:12:43I need you to fix this.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47- Why? It's a lovely picture frame. - But it's meant to be a mirror.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Oh!
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Well, mirror repairs don't come cheap, Missy,
0:12:51 > 0:12:53but I'll see what I can do.
0:12:56 > 0:12:57Here we are, all fixed.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Ooh!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Gotcha!
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Well, that's the mirror sorted then.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24It's a miracle we got it finished
0:13:24 > 0:13:26with you checking out your reflection.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29I can't rely on you to tell me how good I'm looking.
0:13:34 > 0:13:39- What happened? - Yeah, you look really...blue!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41I was so busy worrying about my missing socks
0:13:41 > 0:13:44that I walked under a ladder and a bucket of paint fell on me.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I couldn't see so I tripped over a black cat,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49and then a magpie flew by and spat on me.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Maybe you were right about the socks.- I'm a bad luck magnet.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Don't you see? You're in such a state
0:13:55 > 0:13:58that you're causing all this bad luck for yourself.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00You have to get ready for your audition.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04I'm not going out there! What if a tin of paint falls on my head again?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06You can use my umbrella.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Toby, it's sunny outside - why do you have a brolly?
0:14:10 > 0:14:11The hair must be protected.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Oh, no! Opening an umbrella is really bad luck!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Oh, no!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23So, this is what the humans call an umbrella?
0:14:23 > 0:14:27But what can it be used for, Co-ordinator?
0:14:27 > 0:14:31It is a shield to protect from harsh overhead conditions.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36Rain, sunshine, falling pianos.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Humans consider it bad luck to open one indoors.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Why?
0:14:40 > 0:14:45Like so much the humans do, I find it utterly baffling.
0:14:45 > 0:14:51I mean, what could possibly be bad luck about doing this?
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Gotcha!
0:14:57 > 0:15:00One of these days, Co-ordinator!
0:15:00 > 0:15:02One of these days...
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Toby, what have you done?
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- It was an accident. - You know what this means?!
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Yes. Now I'm doomed too.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Great! Now they've both had it.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17It's tough being the smartest person in the show.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19We heard that.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Good morning. There's a face I haven't seen before.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Have you got anything to help my friend relax?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31She's too tense to leave the house.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Is it a soothing mineral face pack?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37It's a bucket of mud from the garden.
0:15:37 > 0:15:43If she won't go outside, why not let the outside come to her?
0:15:45 > 0:15:50Come on, Ben! Think! In 25 words or less, tell me why
0:15:50 > 0:15:52the Mega Five Billion Total Reality Gaming Chair
0:15:52 > 0:15:55is the ultimate video game accessory.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Because it won't give you chickenpox...probably?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Try again.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04The Mega Five Billion Total Reality Gaming Chair
0:16:04 > 0:16:06is the ultimate video game accessory cos...?
0:16:06 > 0:16:11- It hardly ever collapses when you sit on it?- What's wrong with you?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14We finally find something I - WE want - and you fall to pieces.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19You're putting too much pressure on me, I'm really freaking out!
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Take deep breaths, let your subconscious do the thinking.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25I've gone blank.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Ben, I wish I knew what went on in that brain of yours.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33WIND BLOWS
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I think I've got that writer's block thing.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Then we'll have to get your brain unblocked,
0:16:38 > 0:16:42even if it means I have to use this!
0:16:42 > 0:16:45What happened to the rest of the Dalek?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Come on, Dani, you've got to get ready for your audition.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51If I leave this house I'll probably get hit by a bus.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55You're being silly.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55What if we stay here and a bus comes crashing through the wall?
0:16:55 > 0:17:00Guys! There's as much chance of a bus crashing through that wall
0:17:00 > 0:17:03as there is the sofa turning into a giant walrus and eating you.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06There is?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09This is ridiculous! Luck is nothing but statistics.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13I'll enter the data from a coin toss into my scientific calculator.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Strange, it won't turn on.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21- Maybe it needs new batteries. - It's never done this before.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23What a spot of bad luck.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27You're telling me, this is my lucky calculator... I mean, er...
0:17:27 > 0:17:29You have a lucky calculator?
0:17:29 > 0:17:33It has sentimental value, been in my family for years.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37- How many years?- Four, but it's the calculator I've always used
0:17:37 > 0:17:39when I've done really well in an exam.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42So, in other words, Little Miss There's No Such Thing As Luck,
0:17:42 > 0:17:44that's your lucky charm.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Don't be silly. I told you, I don't believe in luck.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50What are these?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- They're nothing. - Are these lucky gonks?- No.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57They've even got nametags... Lucky Lucille, Calm Keith.
0:17:57 > 0:18:02Face it, Sam, you're every bit superstitious as we are.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04OK, I admit it!
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Maybe I'm slightly superstitious but I'll do anything to pass those exams,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11even if it means putting my faith in lucky gonks.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14So why bang on about statistics?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Cos I didn't want you missing your big audition over some silly socks.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Doesn't matter now anyway because we're all jinxed.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24Great, now we're stuck on this sofa for ever.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Please don't let it be forever.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35How long's it been now, dear?
0:18:35 > 0:18:3867 years, dear.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Say it again, dear.
0:18:40 > 0:18:46I said we've been on the sofa 67 years, dear.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48That's nice, dear.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51I'm 84 years old, dear.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54We're all 84 years old, dear.
0:18:54 > 0:19:00So am I, dear, and I've still got my own teeth.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Do you think it's safe to get off the sofa yet, dear?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Let's leave it a little while longer, dear,
0:19:06 > 0:19:11there's no need to be ha-a-a-sty.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Ben, according to this largely informative book you can
0:19:19 > 0:19:23banish writer's block by playing a simple game of word association.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25What's that?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28It's when I say a word and you say the first thing
0:19:28 > 0:19:29that comes into your head.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33- OK?- OK.- Ambulance.- Sausages.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- Sausages?- Ambulance.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38How do you go from ambulance to sausages?
0:19:38 > 0:19:40I know someone who burnt himself on a sausage
0:19:40 > 0:19:44- and had to be taken to hospital. - Who was that?- Me.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Look, when I say something, you say the first thing you think of.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- Got it?- Got it.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Aeroplane. - The first thing you think of.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54No! So...
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Needle. I think I'm getting it now, Max.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- Cabbages.- Motorbikes.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- Crash helmet.- Cucumber.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Oh!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Can we play a game, Co-ordinator Zang?
0:20:08 > 0:20:09I've had enough of your games.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Ple-e-ease! - Which did you have in mind?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Flush Co-ordinator Zang out of the airlock
0:20:14 > 0:20:18or smack Co-ordinator Zang in the face with a gremlish pie?
0:20:18 > 0:20:23It's new. Surprise Co-ordinator Zang with a secret trapdoor.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26HE SCREAMS
0:20:25 > 0:20:26I win!
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Best of three?
0:20:32 > 0:20:36DOORBELL RINGS
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- Don't answer it.- It's only going to be something bad.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- Don't do it, Dani. - What if they've found my socks?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41How would they know they're your socks?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43They've got my name and address written on the inside.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- Dani!- Dani, stop!- I have to.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01You scared me half to death!
0:21:01 > 0:21:05Blame your brother, he won this down the Executive Taxidermy Services.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Enjoy yourself, darlin'.- Excuse me!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I was talking to the bear.
0:21:11 > 0:21:16How is Max winning all this stuff? Every day there are new prizes.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- How long has this been going on for? - Last couple of weeks, at least.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24- And when did you last see your lucky socks?- About a couple of weeks ago.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27You don't think...
0:21:27 > 0:21:31MAX! I'm coming for you, you filthy sock thief!!
0:21:33 > 0:21:37In the studio with us now is Mrs A from Leicestershire,
0:21:37 > 0:21:40who is a victim of a truly socking crime.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43Oh, so funny!
0:21:43 > 0:21:47- Mrs A, thank you for coming. - Thank you, Nick.- It's Nicholas.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51- Now, you have requested that we protect your identity.- That's right.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Can you please tell us what happened to you on the evening of June 14th?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I was in my garden, feeding my giant squid, when I heard
0:21:58 > 0:22:00- a strange noise from inside the house.- Go on.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04My husband, Mr A, he went inside and there was this strange man
0:22:04 > 0:22:06trying on our socks.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09He must have been wearing six or seven pairs simultaneously.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11That must have been very distressing for you.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13My husband asked him what he was doing
0:22:13 > 0:22:15and he just slithered up the chimney,
0:22:15 > 0:22:17still wearing our socks, and vanished.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19What have you done for socks since?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I've been using bags of frozen peas!
0:22:27 > 0:22:30I've got one! I've got a slogan!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Come on! Don't keep it to yourself.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Spill the beans.- What beans? - Just tell me the slogan.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38The Mega Five Billion Total Reality Gaming Chair
0:22:38 > 0:22:41is the ultimate video game accessory because...
0:22:41 > 0:22:44it gives the cyber-warrior within me a place to sit and recharge.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Bit rubbish?
0:22:47 > 0:22:48It's brilliant!
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Right!
0:22:52 > 0:22:53You never heard of knocking?
0:22:53 > 0:22:57The only knocking I'm going to be doing is knocking your block off!
0:22:57 > 0:22:58What are you talking about?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00You stole my lucky socks, don't try and deny it!
0:23:00 > 0:23:05- What would I want with your socks? - Dani, don't hurt him!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07At least not until he's told you where they are.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11- What are you talking about? What socks?- You're wearing them!
0:23:11 > 0:23:14You actually put your disgusting feet in my socks!
0:23:14 > 0:23:17URGH! I'm wearing girls' socks. What are those doing on my feet?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Don't act like you don't know.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23I was half asleep this morning. Mum must have put them
0:23:23 > 0:23:27in my drawer by mistake. I thought they felt a bit tight.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- You stretched them!- Not my fault you got weird little pixie feet!
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Oh, give them back!
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Get him, Dani, pull his feet off!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Calm down, Co-ordinator. Such violence is unbecoming
0:23:38 > 0:23:41for a superior intellect such as yours.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Don't pretend you don't enjoy it.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Violence is the last resort of a desperate species.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Is that why you threw that bottle of shampoo at me the other day?
0:23:51 > 0:23:55That was different, you'd been using my flannel...
0:23:56 > 0:23:57..again!
0:23:58 > 0:24:02Ah, your feet reek, what do you do with them?
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- Nothing!- I can tell, they smell like cheese and vinegar.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12I think you ought to take a look at this.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Keep out of my stuff, hair-gel boy!
0:24:14 > 0:24:19These are rejection slips from unsuccessful competition entries.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22How much did it cost to enter all these competitions?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24- Just his life savings. - But it was worth it!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Look at all this cool stuff I've won.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Why would you want a vat of anti-baldness lotion?
0:24:31 > 0:24:32I might go bald one day.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37- But it expires in six months. - I could go bald early.- Really early.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39All the competitions you lost.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42The money you spent on stamps, you could have bought this junk.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44With a few quid left over.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48- Probably enough for that cool gaming chair you wanted, Max.- Shut up, Ben!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Will do.- Come on, guys, let's leave Max to his treasures.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55You can keep the socks, perhaps they're not so lucky after all.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57They look good on you too.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01I'm gonna find some way to blame you for all this, Ben.
0:25:01 > 0:25:02Yeah, all right.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08That's about all we have time for this week. On next week's programme,
0:25:08 > 0:25:11a man who believes his socks are speaking to him.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15And we find out how you can safeguard your Christmas stocking.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Good night, God bless and feet dreams.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Do you think you two are related?
0:25:29 > 0:25:32The bear's head is filled with sawdust, Toby.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34If anyone's related, it's you.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Ta-da!- Looking good, Dani.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Not as good as me, obviously, but still good.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Guys, so my socks weren't lucky but at some auditions
0:25:42 > 0:25:44I've definitely felt luckier than others.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47I think we're all agreed you make your own luck in life.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49- There's more to it than that. - We'd best be going,
0:25:49 > 0:25:53otherwise we'll be late for our film. We only popped in to wish you luck.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- Yes?- What did you just say?
0:25:57 > 0:26:02- That we'd better go or we'll be late? - No, the other thing.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03That I'm looking good?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06No, the other, other thing, about you just popping in.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- Yeah, to wish you luck. - Don't you see?
0:26:09 > 0:26:10It's you two!
0:26:10 > 0:26:14- Us two?- What was us two?
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Whenever I've had a successful audition,
0:26:16 > 0:26:19you two have always popped in beforehand to wish me luck!
0:26:19 > 0:26:21We gave you the confidence to give good audition?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23No, I'm saying you two are my lucky charms.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Glad that's all cleared up. Best be going.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30You're not going anywhere. You're coming with me to the audition.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34- But the film?- Catch a later showing. Come on, move it!
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Will you sign for this ton of manure your brother just won?
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I trust you're going to write an exhaustive report
0:26:50 > 0:26:52into the lessons we've learnt this week?
0:26:52 > 0:26:56I've lost my pen.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58I've lost my notepad.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02- Use the computer.- Do I have to?
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Just get to work!
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Oh, no! The computer's not working!
0:27:10 > 0:27:13It's a state of the art inter-dimensional processor,
0:27:13 > 0:27:16the most advanced computer ever constructed,
0:27:16 > 0:27:18it cost zillions of galactic credits.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21It's still not working.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Have you tried switching it on and off again?
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Email Subtitling@bbc.co.uk