Ghost Mutterer

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0:00:06 > 0:00:08Greetings, Co-ordinator Zarg, and happy...

0:00:08 > 0:00:10Why are you dressed as the Bunny of Easter?

0:00:10 > 0:00:13Why are you dressed as the Father of Christmas?

0:00:13 > 0:00:17The human Dani is sure to address what should be worn

0:00:17 > 0:00:19on this day of human celebration.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21Good thinking, coordinator Zarg.

0:00:22 > 0:00:26Hi, my name's Dani, and this is my wonderful...

0:00:26 > 0:00:27- I'm Sam.- Oi!

0:00:27 > 0:00:30- Her best friend. - I'm her best friend, too, Toby.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32As I was saying, this is my show.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35- Max!- That's me! I'm her brother.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37And I'm his best friend, Ben.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is my show.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Hallowe'en Schmallowe'en.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54What d'you mean Hallowe'en Schmallowe'en?

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Hallowe'en Schmallowe'en, that's what I always say.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59How can anyone hate Hallowe'en?

0:00:59 > 0:01:04Hmm, let me think, loads of kids in stupid costumes, high on E-numbers,

0:01:04 > 0:01:07ringing my doorbell and demanding free food.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09You're right! What's not to like?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12There are good bits, too - dressing up, games,

0:01:12 > 0:01:16the way my hair sparkles in the light of the spray-on glitter.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20And it marks the ancient Celts' harvest fest...

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Spare me the history lesson, I don't do Hallowe'en, and that's that.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26I was hoping we could carve pumpkins together.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29I was gonna make a fortune off the trick or treaters

0:01:29 > 0:01:33with my new venture. It's got brilliant idea written all over it.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37Wow! It really does have brilliant idea written all over it.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Told you.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42This no hassle Hallowe'en costume removes the bother

0:01:42 > 0:01:45of finding an outfit, repeating the same phrase

0:01:45 > 0:01:49over and over, and keeps your hands warm when the treats are given out.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Wow! With a pitch like that, how could anyone resist?

0:01:52 > 0:01:55If I weren't such a Hallowe'en scrooge,

0:01:55 > 0:01:57- I'd buy one myself.- Really?- No.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Mock away, but I know sure as hamburgers are made of ham,

0:02:02 > 0:02:06there are folks up... Excuse me.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09There are folks out there in need of a Hallowe'en costume.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Think about it, by not celebrating Hallowe'en,

0:02:17 > 0:02:19- we free up time to do properly fun stuff.- Like what?

0:02:19 > 0:02:24- Well...- And don't say analysing your performance in that advert, again.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26It was a career-defining moment.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Er, they only used your foot.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32Which meant I had to work extra hard to make the performance count.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36- Forget it.- Uh-uh. It's Hallowe'en or bust.- Then it's bust.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40This is a no Hallowe'en zone, and nothing is going to change my mind.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Bah, humbug!

0:02:47 > 0:02:48SHE RINGS THE BELL

0:02:48 > 0:02:53Good morning, good evening. Oh, good grief, she's got it bad.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56- No Hallowe'en spirit?- How can you tell?- It's been going around.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Afraid I'm all out. But I could offer you some of this...

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Spirit, left over from last year.

0:03:01 > 0:03:06Or I could do you an early bird discount on the Christmas spirit?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Thanks, but I'll pass.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Do you fix toasters?

0:03:12 > 0:03:17- Monsterrrrr!- Humaaannn!

0:03:17 > 0:03:20Must be getting soft letting them talk me around.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Allowing a pumpkin into your house

0:03:22 > 0:03:26- isn't breaking your non-Hallowe'en stance.- What about Toby?

0:03:26 > 0:03:29He's practically covered the place in Hallowe'en stuff.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31A T-shirt?

0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Yeah, I can see why you think that. - I'm glad you're going soft.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36I...mean, open-minded.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40This is why I get my no-hass hallow.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- The what? - The no-hassle Hallowe'en outfit.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47No-hass hallow for short.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Catchy, huh?

0:03:49 > 0:03:53Once I get this photo on my website, the orders will be flying in.

0:03:53 > 0:03:54How many have you got to sell?

0:03:54 > 0:03:565,000...?

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Oh, I knew it.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02I haven't ordered enough, have I?

0:04:08 > 0:04:09PANELS BEEP

0:04:09 > 0:04:13Erm, just tracking the weather on Mars.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- Thinking of going there for a holiday.- Me, too.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20Except I'm thinking of Venus. But I'm not buying anything.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22- No, nothing at all.- Er, nor me.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28BABY CRIES ON BABY MONITOR

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Relax! The baby's not here.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Mum thought it would make babysitting less stressful.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36I didn't realise she meant for the baby!

0:04:36 > 0:04:39Right, time to hand over babysitting duty.

0:04:39 > 0:04:40SHE GROANS

0:04:40 > 0:04:46Colonel Max and Major Ben reporting in for trick or treating duty. Sir!

0:04:46 > 0:04:50Since when has army fatigues been a traditional Hallowe'en costume?

0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Since they got these outfits free in their cereal packets?- I've got to

0:04:54 > 0:04:57change my cereal, the last thing I got free in mine was a dead fly.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01- If it's a costume problem...- Don't bother, Toby, I'm not taking them

0:05:01 > 0:05:06- trick or treating.- But you have to! Mrs Grimshaw's giving out DVDs!

0:05:06 > 0:05:08We're going to split ours half half,

0:05:08 > 0:05:10I get the box half, Max gets the DVD half.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Guess you'll have to rent them.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15- Now scoot. Oh, and look after this. - BABY CRIES ON MONITOR

0:05:15 > 0:05:19If you take us, we'll cut you in on all the treats we get.

0:05:19 > 0:05:24- How much?- 30% on sweets, 20 on anything with chocolate.

0:05:24 > 0:05:29- 50 en sweets, 60 on chocolate.- Deal.

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Still no. Just wanted to see how desperate you were.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36Dani, that's mean, why don't you just take them?

0:05:36 > 0:05:37Whose side are you on?

0:05:37 > 0:05:40It's not about sides, but if you took them you may feel more festive.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Have you seen it out there? It's crawling with little people

0:05:43 > 0:05:46dressed in creepy costumes. It's like an episode of Buffy

0:05:46 > 0:05:50in miniature. There's no way I'm stepping foot outside this house.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53This is so not over, Dani,

0:05:53 > 0:05:56you have a Hallowe'en phobia, and I'm gonna find the cure.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Yeah, good luck with that!

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Hallowe'en phobia,

0:06:00 > 0:06:03like there's some deep, dark secret why I hate Hallowe'en!

0:06:08 > 0:06:12Just look at the watch, not around the watch, look at the watch.

0:06:12 > 0:06:133, 2, 1, and you're in.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17In order to cure your condition

0:06:17 > 0:06:20we must first overcome that which causes it.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23To do so I'm going to show you a series of pictures,

0:06:23 > 0:06:26- but I warn you, they're not pretty.- Bring it on, Doc.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Agh!

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Aaagh!

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Aaagh! No more, please, I beg you!

0:06:36 > 0:06:41I know that was difficult but I believe we have set you on the road

0:06:41 > 0:06:45to recovery. From now on, you will no longer be afraid of vegetables.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49- But that's not why I'm here. - It's not?

0:06:49 > 0:06:53Oh well, time's up, we'll deal with it next appointment. I'm off

0:06:53 > 0:06:56trick or treating. Don't you just love Hallowe'en?

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Arrggh!

0:06:58 > 0:07:02Kidnapping then brainwashing her? Oh, she'd need a brain for that.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Stealing her diary

0:07:04 > 0:07:07and blackmailing her? Oh forget it, she'd love the publicity.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09Oh, there must be something.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12- BEN ON WALKIE TALKIE:- What about we hunt down a monster

0:07:12 > 0:07:15and bring it here so Dani can see it?

0:07:19 > 0:07:23Great idea, Ben. WALKIE TALKIE BEEPS LOUDLY

0:07:26 > 0:07:27If monsters existed.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30What about a ghost, then?

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Cos there's no such thing as ghosts!

0:07:33 > 0:07:36HIS VOICE ECHOES BACK TO HIM

0:07:44 > 0:07:49Ghosts. Time to give Dani the baby monitor back - complete with ghost.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56I knew those T-shirts were a winner. I'm rich!

0:07:56 > 0:08:00After sales, shipping and tax, you've only made £34 profit.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Exactly, I'm rich.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05I can't believe you sold the lot,

0:08:05 > 0:08:07I don't know whether to laugh or be deeply scared.

0:08:07 > 0:08:11Either that or someone from Planet Crazy stumbled across his website.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14You were right, Coordinator Zark.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16The humans were of help.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18As I knew they would be, Coordinator Zang.

0:08:18 > 0:08:23And now we have one for every little Zang and Zark out there.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29So, what are you going to do with all that profit?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Invest in my next venture,

0:08:31 > 0:08:34the two-minute Christmas dinner - turkey, stuffing, veg and gravy,

0:08:34 > 0:08:38blended together in one bag which you pop in the microwave, and bam!

0:08:38 > 0:08:41- It's ready in...- Two minutes?- Bingo.

0:08:41 > 0:08:46- BABY MONITOR IN A SPOOKY VOICE: - Dani! Dani!

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Did you hear that?

0:08:48 > 0:08:50What?

0:08:50 > 0:08:53- BABY MONITOR:- Dani! - That!

0:08:56 > 0:08:59Well, Max, you've done it. I've changed my mind

0:08:59 > 0:09:02about trick or treating, so I'm on my way up to do a trick

0:09:02 > 0:09:04called Make Max Disappear, as a treat to me!

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Trick or...

0:09:08 > 0:09:10THEY PLAY AIR GUITAR

0:09:10 > 0:09:11Treat?

0:09:13 > 0:09:15D'you mind not interrupting our gig?

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Where's the other baby monitor?

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Clue's in the name, "baby"

0:09:19 > 0:09:22- monitor...?- No, can't get it, give me another clue.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33- The other baby monitor's in here. - Like I said, the clue's in the name.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36Still no.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37- MONITOR:- Dani!

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Drop the innocent bit,

0:09:39 > 0:09:42I'm the actor in this family, how are you doing this?

0:09:42 > 0:09:48How can it be me? I'm here, and the only other baby monitor's in there.

0:09:48 > 0:09:52So if it's not them, and it's not us...

0:09:52 > 0:09:53Then who is that?

0:09:53 > 0:09:57THEY SCREAM

0:10:01 > 0:10:03And they say I'm a drama queen!

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Aaaaargh...

0:10:15 > 0:10:17- TAPE RECORDER:- Dani!

0:10:25 > 0:10:27SCREAMING

0:10:31 > 0:10:34- You can't be buying that baloney. - Ah! Well, we saw it wasn't them.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37And it wasn't the baby, cos I heard it snoring.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39- Then it's someone else.- Who?

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Maybe a fan, someone who saw my ad, was so impressed

0:10:42 > 0:10:44and tried to get in touch with me.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47- Then why not pick up the phone? - Or send an e-mail?- Or a text?

0:10:47 > 0:10:49OK, maybe it's not a fan.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Even if it was, how were they getting through on that monitor

0:10:52 > 0:10:54- when the only other one's upstairs? - I don't know!

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Maybe they can throw their voices?

0:10:56 > 0:10:59Awesome, I'll definitely throw mine away and get a new one.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02Justin Timberlake, or that guy that does movie voice-overs?

0:11:02 > 0:11:04That's not what it means, Toby.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07And anyway, whoever was doing it, they'd have to be nearby.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10OK, then, what's your theory?

0:11:10 > 0:11:14Well, doesn't it seem weird that you refuse to celebrate Hallowe'en,

0:11:14 > 0:11:16the national holiday for ghosts

0:11:16 > 0:11:19and ghoulies, and a voice suddenly starts talking to you out of nowhere?

0:11:19 > 0:11:24What's weird is the biggest science nerd I know is trying to tell me

0:11:24 > 0:11:27a ghost is talking to me through a baby monitor!

0:11:27 > 0:11:29There are some things science can't explain.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33Like why my hair gel works better when I put it on upside down.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Yes, like that.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39And like ghosts - face it, Dani, you're being haunted.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45I do not like this sensation of being scared Co-ordinator Zang.

0:11:48 > 0:11:49Co-ordinator Zang?

0:11:53 > 0:11:57- LOUD BREATHING APPROACHES - Co-ordinator Zang?

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Is that you?!

0:11:59 > 0:12:04Aaaaaarrrrrgh!

0:12:04 > 0:12:06I went trick or treating.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11Guess you won't be wanting any.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16I am not being haunted.

0:12:16 > 0:12:20- MONITOR:- Dani! Dani!

0:12:24 > 0:12:27And I'll prove it. While I talk to the ghost,

0:12:27 > 0:12:29you go and check on the Barmy Army upstairs.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35- MONITOR:- Dani, why don't you believe in me, Dani?

0:12:35 > 0:12:37I don't even know who you are.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Hang on, is this Santa Claus?

0:12:39 > 0:12:42Cos if it is, my present last year was a size too small.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44And since when do I wear a tutu?

0:12:44 > 0:12:48If it is Santa, can you tell him to ignore the curling tongs on my list?

0:12:48 > 0:12:50I already bought them.

0:12:50 > 0:12:54I'm not Santa Claus.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56- Then who are you?- I am the

0:12:56 > 0:13:01ghost of this house.

0:13:01 > 0:13:08And I'm going to haunt you until you believe in Hallowe'en!

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Whoooo!

0:13:19 > 0:13:21- It was them, right?- Er, actually...

0:13:21 > 0:13:23- No.- What?

0:13:23 > 0:13:25We snuck into Max's room,

0:13:25 > 0:13:28- but he and Ben were just...- Playing air guitar. Again.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31They so need to learn some new instruments.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34- MONITOR:- I told you I was real. - Now do you believe it's a ghost?

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Of course not, you're being ridiculous.

0:13:37 > 0:13:38If that's how you feel

0:13:38 > 0:13:40I'm not staying around to be insulted, I'm off. Toby!

0:13:40 > 0:13:44Er, yeah, me, too, I am even more insulteder,

0:13:44 > 0:13:47my insult-o-metre has gone through the roof.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Toby, we get the picture!

0:13:52 > 0:13:55See, this is why I hate Hallowe'en, everyone acts so weird.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59Insult-o-metre? Dani's the actress, not us.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02Though people do tell me I have movie-star looks.

0:14:02 > 0:14:04Whatever.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07The important thing is, phase one, Project Hallowe'en...

0:14:07 > 0:14:10I thought it was Project Get Dani To Believe In Hallowe'en

0:14:10 > 0:14:14- So We Can Go Trick Or Treating? - Project Hallowe'en for short.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17So, phase one, complete.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19Time for phase two.

0:14:19 > 0:14:24I don't know, I feel bad doing this behind Dani's back. Remember what we said?

0:14:24 > 0:14:27If we work together, we could turn Dani into a Hallowe'en lover.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29So you two could go trick or treating.

0:14:29 > 0:14:34And you two could enjoy Hallowe'en without my sister hassling you.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36It's a win-win for all of us. I guess so.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38And you promise she'll never find out?

0:14:40 > 0:14:43We've all signed this to agree what to do if we are captured.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47- ALL TOGETHER:- Change our identity and pretend we only speak Japanese.

0:14:49 > 0:14:55- No. Leave the country and never come back!- Oh!

0:14:55 > 0:14:57But let's not get caught, deal?

0:14:59 > 0:15:03Deal. But if I was to change my identity, I'd go to Brazil.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05I hear hair gel's very cheap out there.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Plus I'm all right at football. And I'd get a nice tan.

0:15:11 > 0:15:15And now, back to tonight's scary movie.

0:15:15 > 0:15:16Agh!

0:15:19 > 0:15:22Now, THAT is scary.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25LOUD THUD

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Max, keep the noise down!

0:15:29 > 0:15:30LOUD THUD

0:15:33 > 0:15:36You're going to regret disturbing me!

0:15:43 > 0:15:47"Gone to Ben's house, don't call unless it's an emergency, Max and Ben.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50"PS: Good luck with the ghost."

0:15:56 > 0:15:58You guys got bored without me, huh?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01CREAKING

0:16:01 > 0:16:04This isn't scaring me, so you might as well come out.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08TAPPING

0:16:08 > 0:16:10MOANING

0:16:12 > 0:16:16'Hi, this is Sam, I can't take your call right now, but please leave a message.'

0:16:16 > 0:16:20MOANING CONTINUES

0:16:23 > 0:16:24Max, come back,

0:16:24 > 0:16:26this is definitely an emergency.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Agh!

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- SPOOKY VOICE: - Dani, do you believe in me now?

0:16:41 > 0:16:45Yes! Ghosts are real, OK? Now, stop this!

0:17:09 > 0:17:13- Hi, Dani.- I got a missed call from you, is everything all right?

0:17:13 > 0:17:15If you think living in a haunted house is all right.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Oh, so you DO believe in ghosts?

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Hard not to when you meet one in the flesh.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Here we are.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27Got your SOS, S-I-S. What's up?

0:17:27 > 0:17:32Apparently, Dani's had a close encounter with the undead kind.

0:17:32 > 0:17:33No way!

0:17:33 > 0:17:37That must have been awful!

0:17:37 > 0:17:41Well, I suppose you're all happy Hallowe'en now. Probably...

0:17:41 > 0:17:45itching to get out and celebrate by, oh, I don't know, trick or treating?

0:17:45 > 0:17:49Are you deaf? There is a ghost living here we need to get rid of.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51So, who are you calling?

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Pest exterminators, I just hope they have a supernatural department.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58So you're not taking us trick or treating?

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Nope.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09Can't we just tell Dani the truth?

0:18:09 > 0:18:14Then our house really would be haunted and Dani would kill us.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Face it, our Hallowe'en fun is over.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20'Hello, Mr Ghost, are you there?

0:18:20 > 0:18:26'Just wondering, now that I believe in you, what exactly do you want?

0:18:26 > 0:18:28'Are you hungry?'

0:18:28 > 0:18:34Or maybe not! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:18:34 > 0:18:37THEY LAUGH

0:18:37 > 0:18:40Why are we laughing again?

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Have you got anything a ghost would eat?

0:18:47 > 0:18:51I don't know about that, but we only serve one thing on Hallowe'en.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55- What's that?- Sand-witches...

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Get it?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59Witches. Hallowe'en.

0:18:59 > 0:19:03- Yeah, great, I'll have three, please.- Three what?

0:19:03 > 0:19:04Sandwiches.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06That was a joke.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08We don't really serve sandwiches.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11- Only burgers. - I'll have three burgers, then.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14Sorry, we've run out, but I do know a good pizza delivery.

0:19:16 > 0:19:20Who needs trick or treating when you can have the treats brought to you?

0:19:20 > 0:19:23'Hello? Mr Ghost?

0:19:23 > 0:19:24'How's the pizza?

0:19:24 > 0:19:27'Sorry, it's a bit cold, the delivery guy got lost.

0:19:27 > 0:19:33'So, erm, now I've done that, can you stop haunting me?'

0:19:33 > 0:19:34Not yet.

0:19:34 > 0:19:39There's one very important thing I need you to do.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Are you really sure about this, Mr Ghost?

0:19:41 > 0:19:44Oh, yes, very sure.

0:19:44 > 0:19:48# I was working in the lab late one night

0:19:48 > 0:19:51# When my eyes beheld an eerie sight

0:19:51 > 0:19:56# And my monster from a slab began to rise. And suddenly...

0:19:56 > 0:20:01# To my surprise, he did the mash He did the monster mash...

0:20:01 > 0:20:03# The monster mash... #

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Tell me again, why are we doing this?

0:20:05 > 0:20:08'As a punishment for your Hallowe'en humbugness!'

0:20:08 > 0:20:12- But me and Toby love Hallowe'en, remember?- 'But as her best friends,

0:20:12 > 0:20:15'you wouldn't want her to think you're not on her side, would you?'

0:20:15 > 0:20:19- I guess not. - Still, at least no-one can see us.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24THEY LAUGH

0:20:25 > 0:20:28No-one, apart from everyone on the Web!

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Ha-ha-ha! Look at Dani!

0:20:32 > 0:20:33# They do the mash... #

0:20:42 > 0:20:45Trust me to get haunted by the Simon Cowell of the ghost world.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48I can't believe he gave us scores on our performance.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51I know, wasn't it great?

0:20:51 > 0:20:55I wonder if the ghost likes Girls Aloud? I know all their routines.

0:20:58 > 0:20:59DOORBELL RINGS

0:20:59 > 0:21:02Oh, thank the gods, help has finally arrived!

0:21:08 > 0:21:13- Be gone, you spirits from beyond. - Woo!

0:21:13 > 0:21:16Excuse me, but we're not ghosts.

0:21:16 > 0:21:21Oh, you're not? Oh!

0:21:21 > 0:21:27- Easy mistake.- I take it you're the ghost hunter I called, then?

0:21:29 > 0:21:32Esmeralda Me Morte...

0:21:32 > 0:21:35at your service.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37So, tell me about your ghost.

0:21:37 > 0:21:41Well, it communicates via the baby monitor.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44And it's grossly overweight.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47- How do you know that? - Did you see how much pizza it ate?

0:21:47 > 0:21:48What else?

0:21:48 > 0:21:51It has great taste in music.

0:21:51 > 0:21:55Sounds like you have a level-four ectoplasmic entity.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58That sounds dangerous.

0:21:58 > 0:22:03- What does?- The ghost. Esmeralda here is gonna get rid of it.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05She is, is she?

0:22:05 > 0:22:07How are you planning to do that?

0:22:07 > 0:22:11Cos this is some clever ghost you're dealing with.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13F-from what I can tell.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16Well, for starters, we're going to need water.

0:22:16 > 0:22:22Most level four EEs are hydrophobic. Dani,

0:22:22 > 0:22:24I need a bucket.

0:22:34 > 0:22:38"Saw your dance routine on the Web. Brilliant, when's the next one?

0:22:39 > 0:22:41"Max."

0:22:47 > 0:22:50Right, he is sausage meat!

0:22:52 > 0:22:58- 'Dani! Dani!'- They want Hallowe'en fun, hey?

0:22:58 > 0:23:00Well, they're gonna get some.

0:23:04 > 0:23:11- What does that do?- Level 4 EEs operate at high-energy bandwidths,

0:23:11 > 0:23:17this detects and shields me from the ultraviolet light they emit.

0:23:17 > 0:23:22- Is that long, medium or short-wave ultraviolet?- Yes.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25Ultraviolet, isn't that the stuff you get sun tan from?

0:23:25 > 0:23:28The very same.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30You kids should take cover.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33This could get dangerous.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35I guess we'd better go warn Dani.

0:23:35 > 0:23:39- To hide?- No, to put suncream on. - THEY LAUGH

0:23:39 > 0:23:42I've just seen the ghost! Quick, it's on the rampage.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Everyone run, go save yourselves!

0:23:50 > 0:23:55- We all signed the contract. - It was your plan!- Shh!

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Esmeralda feels our ghost is stuck

0:23:59 > 0:24:03and needs help moving into the next world.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06In order to do that, we need to spread our energy through the house,

0:24:06 > 0:24:10- to push the ghost onwards.- What about if it doesn't want to move on?

0:24:10 > 0:24:14Yeah, what if it's still hungry?

0:24:14 > 0:24:17I bet it would love a chocolate and banana milkshake,

0:24:17 > 0:24:20with extra cream and sprinkles about now.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23He won't, trust me. So, we need to split up.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Sam and Toby, in the den,

0:24:25 > 0:24:28Max and Ben, go into Max's room, and Esmeralda and I will stay here.

0:24:38 > 0:24:42'Dani! Dani!'

0:24:44 > 0:24:46What are you doing?

0:24:46 > 0:24:49Focusing my energy. I saw it on one of my mum's yoga videos.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52I figure it will help move the ghost on.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55We are the ghost, you muppet.

0:24:55 > 0:24:59- Oh, yeah!- There's no way I'm letting that crazy woman get rid of us.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01There's still a load of treats I want.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04You know, I shouldn't say this,

0:25:04 > 0:25:06but I quite enjoyed getting one over on Dani.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08- CLATTER - Agh!

0:25:10 > 0:25:13Relax, it's probably part of Esmeralda's routine.

0:25:13 > 0:25:14- MOANING - What was that?

0:25:14 > 0:25:19- What was that?- Nothing.- Nothing. - Maybe there really is a ghost.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Don't be ridiculous.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Agh!

0:25:31 > 0:25:32Agh!

0:25:47 > 0:25:52Were we all scared of the big bad ghosty-whosty?

0:25:52 > 0:25:56- You're right. Hallowe'en IS fun. - That was you?

0:25:57 > 0:25:59And Esmeralda.

0:25:59 > 0:26:04You can come out now! Two can play at that white sheet game.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:06 > 0:26:09Read the sign, no trick or treaters allowed!

0:26:09 > 0:26:10DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Let me guess, you're Superman in disguise?

0:26:22 > 0:26:23It's Clark Kent.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Oh, I'm not in costume.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29Oh. Then you've come to the right house, my no-hass hallo...

0:26:29 > 0:26:34Oh, thanks, but I've already bought my no hassle Hallowe'en outfit.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Brilliant idea, by the way.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39Oh, but I'm not trick or treating right now.

0:26:39 > 0:26:40So what are you doing here?

0:26:40 > 0:26:42You called me?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44From the phone book?

0:26:44 > 0:26:47I'm the ghost hunter.

0:26:51 > 0:26:57- Then who called Esmeralda? - WOMAN CACKLES

0:26:57 > 0:27:02- Did you hear that?- Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:27:04 > 0:27:07Come on.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11What are you doing?

0:27:11 > 0:27:12I'm not staying here.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Anyone for trick or treating?

0:27:22 > 0:27:28- Good luck. And, er, give us a call when you're done.- Ah-ha-ha-ha!

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Oh!

0:27:34 > 0:27:37Oh, bravo! Marvellous.

0:27:37 > 0:27:42- Fantastic.- 'Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:27:42 > 0:27:44'Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!'

0:27:44 > 0:27:47BOTH: Aaaagh!

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:54 > 0:27:57E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk