0:00:03 > 0:00:06Hurry up, Co-ordinator Zark. Our favourite show is about to begin.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08And don't forget the snacks.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11What flavour popcorn do you want, Co-ordinator Zang?
0:00:13 > 0:00:14Salted?
0:00:14 > 0:00:17- Hmm.- Sweet?
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Hmm.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22- Or altractim bile slime?- Ah!
0:00:22 > 0:00:26You know I have the bile slime with extra maggots.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hi. My name's Dani and this is my wonderful...
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- I'm Sam. Her best friend. - Oi! As I was saying...
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- I'm her best friend, too. Toby. - As I was saying,
0:00:40 > 0:00:45- this is my show. Max!- That's me! I'm her brother.- Get out of here.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46And I'm his best friend, Ben.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is my show.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52THEY ARGUE
0:01:05 > 0:01:10'We're off, Dani. You need to get up now and look after the baby.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13CRASH
0:01:15 > 0:01:19'And remember to keep the noise down for Auntie Sheila.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Wakey wakey, Samantha. It's gone past midday.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- Samantha's been a-wakey wakey since half seven.- You must be shattered.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30We were up till one watching DVDs.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31I had coursework to do.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36- Are you ill? - I've got to do it sometime.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39You must be ill. Come on, Brainiac. Show to do.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Hello, Universe!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45BOTH: Greetings, humans.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- Hello!- Ssh, Sam!- What?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50My aunt's sleeping off her jetlag.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53If we wake her up, she'll make my life a living...
0:01:53 > 0:01:54- DOORBELL RINGS - Doorbell!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56She'll make her life a living doorbell?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58DOORBELL RINGS
0:01:58 > 0:02:02- Hello!- Ssh! My aunt's asleep upstairs in my bedroom.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Good for her. I have a new job.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Oh, nice, Toby. That's only the third new job this week.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11What happened to your job at the hairdressers?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Uh, they were making cuts.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Get it?
0:02:14 > 0:02:18Ha. So, what's your new job? World's lamest stand-up comedian?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22I am proud to announce the formation of
0:02:22 > 0:02:25The Prestige Level Organised Pet-Sitting Ltd
0:02:25 > 0:02:27or P-L-O-P-S for short.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29P-L-O-P-S?
0:02:29 > 0:02:31That spells plops.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35It's only...temporary.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Is that why you got it printed on your T-shirt?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Temporary T-shirt?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Oh, hang on a sec.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Co-ordinator Zang, what is a pet?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52A pet is a lesser creature humans keep in their home.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Would you say humans are a lesser creature than we are?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Pff! Of course, Co-ordinator Zark.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01We are the shining beings of the seven galaxies.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Our vast craniums...- Wicked! That's what I thought.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Here, boy! Here, boy!
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- What is this?- It's my pet human.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13It's a breed called posty-man or something.
0:03:13 > 0:03:19Watch this. Sit, boy. Sit. Kneel, please. Who's a good boy, then?
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Who's a good boy, then? Who's a good boy?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Dani, I need a favour. Can I leave this here for a few hours?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Only I've...got to see a man about a dog.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36- Literally.- I dunno, Toby.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I've got stuff to do. My mad aunt's staying,
0:03:39 > 0:03:41I can't have any noisy, smelly animals here today.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43DOORBELL RINGS
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Talking of noisy, smelly animals...
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- Benny Boy!- Maximillian!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Ssh! Aunt Sheila's asleep.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57- What does she want, a medal? - Mum said not to wake her.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Don't worry. Won't hear a peep out of us.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02We'll just quietly rehearse our new band.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05THEY PRETEND TO PLAY GUITAR
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Let's get you tuned up.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Ssh! You'll wake the...baby! Ahh!
0:04:13 > 0:04:16BABY CRIES
0:04:18 > 0:04:20All right, take it easy.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23BABY SLURPS AND BURPS
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Ow! Yeah, real funny. Very mature.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33SNAKE HISSES
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Is that a viperidae maximillae?
0:04:35 > 0:04:37No, dummy. It's a snake.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- It's what?! - SHE SCREAMS
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Ssh! You'll wake your aunt!
0:04:43 > 0:04:45SHE MUTTERS
0:04:46 > 0:04:50You're gonna be a star, Ben. You've got the charisma, the look.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52You've got star quality.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54S'pose.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58While I've got the Simon Cowell trousers.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Just leave everything to me.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04I just need you to sign this.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06What is it?
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Just a contract entitling me to 90% of any money you might make.
0:05:11 > 0:05:12Ever.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14OK.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18HE LAUGHS
0:05:18 > 0:05:22THEY LAUGH I don't even know why I'm laughing!
0:05:25 > 0:05:29- I don't do snakes!- Well, just think of it as a lizard without any legs.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33- This isn't helping! - Look, providing nobody agitates it,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35there's no reason for it to attack.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- TOBY DRUMS ON BOX - Toby!
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Yeah? Oh, sorry.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46I can't believe you're being so dumb, Toby. Snakes make me...
0:05:46 > 0:05:50- ..ooh! They make me... - Behave like this?- Exactly!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52You're the one who keeps telling me
0:05:52 > 0:05:54to stop wasting my life and get a job.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I'm getting paid good money to look after that snake.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Whatever you're getting paid,
0:05:59 > 0:06:02it won't be enough by the time I'm finished with you.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Um...guys.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Slight problem over here.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- Where's the snake?- I sort of wanted a closer peek at it.
0:06:11 > 0:06:16I sort of opened the case lid... and it sort of got out. Slightly.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19DANI SCREAMS
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Dani, calm down. You're being completely irrational.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25If it's so irrational, why are you on the chair?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29There's nothing rational about being afraid of a snake in a box.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Snake on the loose, on the other hand... Well scary!
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Oh, and that's a well scientific opinion, is it?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Please say you've found a cure for my phobia of snakes, professor.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- I have indeed found a cure for your ophidiophobia.- My what?
0:06:45 > 0:06:49It's a posh word for being a big, yellow-bellied chicken coward.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Drink this.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Ugh! That's gross! What is that?
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Essence of pickled herring and frogs brains.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- How is that gonna help cure my phobia?- It won't.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08But it is a really pretty colour.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Ah! Oh! I'm hyperventilating!
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Breathe into this paper bag.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Why, what does this do?
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I dunno, I thought maybe if we puffed it up, make it go bang,
0:07:19 > 0:07:21we could lure the snake out of hiding.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25SHE SHOUTS: Find that snake!
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Ssh! Remember your aunt.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30We need to lure the snake out of hiding with bait.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Use the baby.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35BABY GURGLES
0:07:35 > 0:07:38That wouldn't work. Viperidae Maximillae is a vegetarian.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41At least you know now it's not gonna eat you, Dani.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Actually, it could still bite in self defence, they are very...
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- ..poisonous.- Fantastic(!) Great. Superb. Snake-tastic.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53What are you looking at?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Well, we're trapped in a house with a vegetarian snake.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00I thought, "Do you look more like a vegetable than I do?"
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Yeah, there's something very sort of...
0:08:04 > 0:08:06..cabbagey about you.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Acutally, that could work.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- We could lure the snake out of hiding with some veg.- A trap! Great idea.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15You two stay here and look for the deadly reptile,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17I'll find it something to eat. Bye!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Four veggie burgers, please. - Four what?
0:08:22 > 0:08:23Burgers without any meat?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Coming up.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37No, I mean burgers that aren't made out of meat.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41What's it made out of then? Cardboard?
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Right. Ten bags of fries, please.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45I suppose you don't want meat in your fries, either?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- Fries don't have meat in them. - Ours do.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Big bits of liver.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Have you got any food suitable for vegetarians?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- Got this.- And there's definitely no meat in that carrot?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Nah, we just use it to stir the cow guts.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05So, how come you know so much about snakes?
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I'm reading up on zoology, just in case I decide to become a vet.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12You know, it doesn't hurt to have your fingers in several pies.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14It does if they're really hot pies. Ooh!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18It's a career you should think about, Toby. Vets get respect.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Do they?- Uh-huh.- Hmm.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24I've always wondered what respect felt like.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Help! There's been an accident!
0:09:29 > 0:09:32It's gonna be OK. Stand back, everyone.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34I'm a vet.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37We were just walking and he just keeled over.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38I'll handle this.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41Nurse, the brush.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- What are you gonna do with that? - Brush my hair.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Keep clear. I'm going in for CPR.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59CRUNCH
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I think we might have lost him.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07SHE SOBS
0:10:11 > 0:10:14# Ooh baby
0:10:14 > 0:10:18# You're my ladybird. #
0:10:18 > 0:10:22What we really need is to get you a record deal with someone like...
0:10:22 > 0:10:24..Mickey Crush from Crush Me Records.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Who's Mickey Crush?
0:10:25 > 0:10:29Who's Mickey Crush?! Who is Mickey Crush?
0:10:29 > 0:10:33- Mickey Crush?- Your room must be bigger than it looks, Max,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35because there's definitely an echo in here.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Mickey Crush is my role model.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42He's the most powerful man in the entertainment industry.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Film, TV, music - he's conquered them all.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48'Mickey Crush. The most famous man in the world.'
0:10:48 > 0:10:53They say he's so rich, he eats off a solid gold plate,
0:10:53 > 0:10:56with a solid gold knife and fork.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Wow. We've gotta find some way to meet him.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Mr Crush is a very busy man.
0:11:01 > 0:11:06There's no way he'd spend his time with a waster like you, Ben.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07- No offence.- None taken.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Now you're gonna be a waster AND a pop star.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13But I'm afraid there are no shortcuts in pop.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15We've gotta get to the top the hard way.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Using the stairs?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22By conning money out of my sister to buy some instruments.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Picture it, Ben. You, the ultimate rock star.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:11:30 > 0:11:34BAND PLAYS
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Hello, Glastonbury!
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Let me hear you scream!
0:11:43 > 0:11:48My name's Ben and tonight I'm gonna rock you!
0:11:48 > 0:11:50And you!
0:11:50 > 0:11:55This one's called I Don't Know Why My Pancake's So Flat.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Ah-one, ah-two. Ah-one, two, three, four.
0:12:00 > 0:12:07# Ooh baby, you're my ladybird
0:12:07 > 0:12:12# Oh baby, baby, I love you... #
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Wow.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27When I click my fingers, you will no longer be afraid of snakes.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30I will no longer be afraid of snakes.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Come on! Stupid fingers.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44When I whistle, you will no longer be afraid of snakes.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I will no longer be afraid of snakes.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58When I clap my hands, you will no longer be afraid of snakes.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I will no longer be afraid of snakes.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05How hard can it be?!
0:13:10 > 0:13:15When I throw a tantrum, you will no longer be afraid of snakes.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18SHE SCREAMS
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Guys, I couldn't get any veg, but I think I'm cured of my phobia.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30- How come? - I just gave myself a talking to.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33I said, "Dani, it's a snake. What is the big deal?"
0:13:33 > 0:13:35It's probably more scared of us than we are of it.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39- That's the spirit.- Anyway, what's the worst that can happen?
0:13:39 > 0:13:41One of us gets bitten in the bum
0:13:41 > 0:13:43and the others have to suck out the poison.
0:13:47 > 0:13:54SHE SCREAMS
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I thought in space nobody could hear you scream?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04SHE CRIES
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Dani...Dani! Calm down, it's just a bit of hose.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11I wanted to see if you were really cured and I guess not.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Would you stop making me scream?
0:14:12 > 0:14:16If Aunt Sheila wakes up, the snake will be the last of my worries.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20What's all the noise about? Aunt Sheila's asleep, you know.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- I know.- There's a snake loose in the house.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25A snake? Cool.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Maybe we could help you find it.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Why would you want to help us?
0:14:30 > 0:14:36I know how scared you are of snakes. I hate seeing my sister suffer.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38OK, who are you and what have you done with Max?
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Of course...in return for finding the snake...
0:14:42 > 0:14:47I could borrow the £50 you got for your birthday?
0:14:47 > 0:14:48There's the Max I know.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51We do need all the help we can get now,
0:14:51 > 0:14:53especially with your irrational phobia.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58Fine. You can help but no money unless you find it. Intact.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Deal.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05MILITARY MUSIC PLAYS
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Here's a plan of the house.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11To catch a snake, we need to think like snakes.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13What do we know about them? Hit me, people.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17It's just an expression!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Snakes like warm, dark places.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- Nice.- They haven't got any legs. - Right. Right.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- They go like this. Ssssss.- Yeah.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- They give me the creeps.- Right.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32They have a detachable lower jaw with bilateral undulation
0:15:32 > 0:15:34and smell with their tongues.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Show-off.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40OK, people. We've got a snake to find.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44And remember... No, forgotten it. Let's move.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48SNAKES HISSES
0:15:53 > 0:15:54- Get it, get it!- Ooh! Go on!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Basket, basket! It will definitely be in the wash basket!
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- Ooh, it's in the biscuit tin! - The biscuit tin!
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Oh, that Toby fellow!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22SNAKE HISSES
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Oh dear. Never mind, eh?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Please say you've found it.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Look, Dani, you're the actress. Why don't you get into character as,
0:16:48 > 0:16:51I dunno, a brave snake charmer?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I've heard worse ideas.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Calling your pet-sitting service PLOPS, for one.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Oh, I see.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Let me limber up.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Huh. Actors.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09I'm a brave snake charmer. I'm not afraid of snakes.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I'm brave and fearless.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18Darling, you look amazing. That figure - incredible.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Thanksssss.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I'm gonna have the spaghetti carbonara. What are you gonna have?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I'll have the waiter. Ssss.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Wahh!
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Can't take you anywhere.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41No. It's not working. I'm still terrified.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Toby, don't go poking around where you can't see.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48I'm running out of hair gel.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50You're not gonna find any under there.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- SNAKE HISSES - If I can't find the snake, I don't
0:17:53 > 0:17:56get paid. If I don't get paid, I can't afford to buy hair gel.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Aghh! Ow.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Ah...- What is it? What happened?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I've been bitten by the snake.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08I've been...poisoned.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14THEY GASP
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Next scene.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34(Max. Psst.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36(What is it?)
0:18:36 > 0:18:41- I think I saw something.- Just stun it, a dead snake is no good to us.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45It's not very good for the snake, either.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52What you doing?
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Since when did snakes have buckles?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59I thought it might be a punk snake.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Let's go before we wake her.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07CRASH
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- Ssh. - CRASH
0:19:17 > 0:19:19(Sorry.)
0:19:19 > 0:19:21(Go, quick, go.)
0:19:26 > 0:19:29You're right, Dani. I have wasted my life.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34- Don't talk like that.- We can still get you to the hospital.- No!
0:19:34 > 0:19:36I want to die surrounded by my friends,
0:19:36 > 0:19:39not fighting for life on some hospital trolley,
0:19:39 > 0:19:41wearing one of those embarrassing gowns
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- where everyone can see your bum. - Ugh.- Don't go anywhere.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Let's see if they've got any anti-venom down at the shops.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Good morning, good evening, good afternoon.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53What can I do for you, young lady?
0:19:53 > 0:19:56My friend's been bitten. Well, it wasn't me who did it,
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- if that's what you're insinuating. - What? No, I know it wasn't you.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- Then why come in here and suggest it was me?- I didn't.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06I'm sick of you people, coming in here and accusing me of biting.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Look, I just... Forget that.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Have you got any anti-venom for somebody's who's been bitten?- Oh.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15- I see. Vampire, was it?- What?
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Was it a vampire who bit your friend?- Whatever gave you that idea?
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Next thing, you'll be out with the garlic and the holy water,
0:20:21 > 0:20:25waving it in my face. I'll tell you like I told the rest of 'em,
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- I am not, and never have been, a vampire.- I never said...
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Forget it. I think I better go.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Before you go. How's my hair?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Why?- It's a little embarrassing.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39But I'm having a bit of trouble with the old mirror at the moment.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44My reflection's... um, not exactly showing up.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45I'm not a vampire, though.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Where you going?
0:20:50 > 0:20:51How's my hair?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56I'm so sorry, Toby.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59For some reason, everywhere is sold out of anti-venom.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Not even the little newsagent on the corner?
0:21:01 > 0:21:05- Even them. - Oh well. That's that, then.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11I'm so sorry I've always been so horrible to you!
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Careful, Sam. You're getting tears on my new T-shirt.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21It's times like this that puts everything into perspective.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I probably need something like this to take my mind off my phobia.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- Actually, I really think this might be helping.- Really?
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Yeah, my heart isn't hammering against my ribcage anymore.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34That's great but maybe, with me dying and all,
0:21:34 > 0:21:37this could possibly be MY moment.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41After all, I only have an hour to live.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Actually, it's more like 55 minutes now.
0:21:47 > 0:21:52Oh, woe! Woe! Death, is that thy sting I feel?
0:21:57 > 0:21:58It's the TV remote.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Did you see the snake?- No, Toby's been bitten, that's all.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- That's all?!- Bitten by the snake?
0:22:07 > 0:22:09No, by a goat.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Great, so now there's a goat in here too.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Co-ordinator. Your pet keeps scratching my leg.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I think it wants something.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24What is it, boy? What is it that you want?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Want to go walkies, is that it?
0:22:27 > 0:22:30You want to play fetch? Here, fetch the ball.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Go on, boy, go fetch it.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Aww, what is it, hmm?
0:22:34 > 0:22:37HE WHINES
0:22:37 > 0:22:40- Have you fed him? - Of course, he needs feeding.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44And it just so happens I have plenty of delicious posty-man food here.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Yummy, yummy!
0:22:50 > 0:22:53That's it, boy. Eat it all up.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00- DOORBELL RINGS - Great, that'll be the snake owner.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04Not only am I going to die, I'm also going to get into really big trouble
0:23:04 > 0:23:07for losing his pet. Today's been rubbish.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10DOORBELL RINGS
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Hey! How's it going, cats?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- CRASH - Ow!
0:23:22 > 0:23:25I don't believe it. It's Mickey Crush.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28The multi-millionaire multi-media multi-mogul.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33You bet I am. Here, have a signed photo.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36First one's free.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Wow. Bet I could get loads for this on the internet.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I like the way you're thinking, kid.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- You do?- Don't touch me.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49No problem, Mr Crush.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53- Mr Crush, I represent a bold, young talent who...- Max?
0:23:53 > 0:23:54What's going on?
0:23:54 > 0:23:59- This is Mickey Crush.- I don't care if he's Mickey Mouse,
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- what's he doing here?- Um, that's the guy whose snake I was looking after.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Well, Mr Crush. Your snake bit my friend.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Toby got bitten by the snake as well as the goat?
0:24:10 > 0:24:15Sylvia wouldn't bite anyone. She's old. She's got false teeth.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18If she's got false teeth, how comes Toby's been poisoned?
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Hm. The answer to that is simpler than that guy there.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Whatever bit your friend wasn't Sylvia.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35- Toby?- Yeah.- Answer me this. Were you definitely bitten by a snake?
0:24:35 > 0:24:40Well, it felt like a bite... a bit...sort of.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Suppose it could have been something else.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Eh, a loose nail or a splinter or...
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Woo-hoo! I've still got my entire life to waste!
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Hey, who does this sound like? "Oh, I'm gonna miss you, Toby!"
0:24:55 > 0:24:59That was reverse psychology, I was doing it to get you to stay calm.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01"I'm gonna miss you..."
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- Shut up, Toby!- Shut up, Sam.
0:25:04 > 0:25:05I want my snake.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07BOTH: Shut up, Mickey!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Everyone shut up! There is still a snake loose in this house!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13If someone doesn't find it pretty soon so that
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Mickey Whatever His Face can take it out...
0:25:15 > 0:25:18..pet tarantula, I'm gonna use each and every one as you as snake bait.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- Got that?- I was trying to get some shut-eye.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25What the name of Sydney Harbour is going on down here?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27- There's Sylvia.- My name's Sheila.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29No, there's Sylvia.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Snake! Snake!
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Now that is irrational.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39- Well irrational, in fact. - Get off me!
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- Snaaake!- No!
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Give me one good reason not to throw Snakey Boy out into the traffic.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Because she's as scared of us as much as we are scared of it.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Is she talking about Aunt Sheila or the snake?
0:25:56 > 0:25:59I guess she's cured, then.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Here you go. Sorry about that.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Hey, it's all right... Ow!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09- She bit me. - Thought she had false teeth?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11So did I.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14CRASH
0:26:21 > 0:26:26I suppose this is a bad time to ask for a record deal?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28I'll phone the ambulance.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Another fine show.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41I do hope you're going to look after your new pet properly?
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Of course I am. I've already fed him, given him water.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46I've just let him out to do his business.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50You've just let him out?
0:26:50 > 0:26:53We don't want him messing up our space ship, do we?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57- Where did you let him out? - Out of the airlock, of course.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Of course.
0:27:02 > 0:27:07Help me!
0:27:07 > 0:27:11I think next time we might get a window cleaner.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Subtitles by Claire Brown Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:21 > 0:27:24E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk