Alien Invasion

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:04Browsing your autograph collection, Co-ordinator Zark?

0:00:04 > 0:00:10Indeed. I have everyone from Andron Android to Zazzix Zarzazark.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13There's just one name I'm missing.

0:00:13 > 0:00:16We're not about to beam down and ask Dani for an autograph.

0:00:16 > 0:00:20Worried we'd cause panic, Co-ordinator Zang?

0:00:20 > 0:00:25I'm worried I'd embarrass myself, like that time I met Lumbo Zantax,

0:00:25 > 0:00:28and all I managed to ask him was what his favourite shape was.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31I have so many things I want to ask Dani.

0:00:31 > 0:00:35Can't we teleport down just for a bit?

0:00:35 > 0:00:37It would contravene galactic law.

0:00:37 > 0:00:40Besides, why would someone as glamorous as Dani

0:00:40 > 0:00:43be interested in a pair of nobodies like us?

0:00:43 > 0:00:45I suppose you're right.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49- She is so very glamorous.- Argh!

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Very glamorous indeed.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59Hi, my name's Dani and this is my fantastic...

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Best friend Jack.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Yeah but, oh, where was I?

0:01:03 > 0:01:05Your name's Dani and I'm your best friend too, Sam.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08As I was saying this is my fantastic new...

0:01:08 > 0:01:11- Max!- I'm her brother and actually it's Ben.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13What? Oh, it's our show.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Can you just zip it? As I was saying, my name's Dani

0:01:16 > 0:01:19and this is my fantastic...

0:01:19 > 0:01:21I give up.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29Hubble, bubble, toil and...

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Oh, hey, guys! I'm just rehearsing my new role in Macbeth, The Musical.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38I'm only understudying one of the witches, but I'm so excited!

0:01:39 > 0:01:42- Max!- You look different, Dani.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46- Have you had your hair done? - What do you think you're doing?

0:01:46 > 0:01:50I was aiming for your backside. What are the chances of missing that?

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Keep out of Daniville, frogspawn!

0:01:54 > 0:01:57I'm hoping the theatre people don't need me tonight

0:01:57 > 0:02:00because I'm stuck here looking after my evil little brother.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02PHONE RINGS

0:02:02 > 0:02:06Oh, please don't be bad news. Hello?

0:02:08 > 0:02:09You won't believe this.

0:02:12 > 0:02:13What?

0:02:13 > 0:02:16You've got something on your face.

0:02:17 > 0:02:18Gone?

0:02:18 > 0:02:22The actress I'm understudying has broken her leg.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24They need me to take over.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27- That's great news! - Not for the girl who broke her leg.

0:02:27 > 0:02:28It's a nightmare.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31- This is the big break you've been waiting for.- Literally.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35I can't do it. Mum and Dad said I have to look after Max again.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37We can look after him.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40I wouldn't inflict Max on my worst enemy, let alone you two.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42What's the worst that could happen?

0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Are you sure you don't mind, Sam? - Of course we...

0:02:48 > 0:02:49..don't mind.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Thanks, guys.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53My big chance to tread the boards!

0:02:56 > 0:02:58APPLAUSE

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Thank you. This means so much!

0:03:04 > 0:03:07You're too kind. Thank you!

0:03:07 > 0:03:09I love the theatre, dahling.

0:03:09 > 0:03:14S'cuse me. That's all well and good, but this is an operating theatre.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16BA-DUM TISH

0:03:17 > 0:03:22- Get it?- I get it. It's just an awful, awful joke.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Is that really the best you could come up with?

0:03:24 > 0:03:27- Yeah. - You should be ashamed of yourself.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37I have the worst daydreams.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40Mars. The Milky Way.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43All those galaxies. But enough about your eating habits.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47Tell me, what is one thing you won't find in space?

0:03:47 > 0:03:51- Geese?- Intelligent life, Ben.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55There is no intelligent life in space.

0:03:55 > 0:03:56What did he say?

0:03:56 > 0:03:59Thinking about it, there isn't much down here either.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03- Pardon, Max?- I said, there is no evidence that aliens exist.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06But that doesn't stop certain foolish individuals

0:04:06 > 0:04:08from believing they're real.

0:04:08 > 0:04:14And we're going to make the most of that stupidity by becoming rich, Ben.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Very rich indeed.

0:04:16 > 0:04:17Maxth, help.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Ith thtuck on my thongue.

0:04:22 > 0:04:27I'm not equipped to look after that monster. I'm a DJ, not Mary Poppins.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30If we treat Max with respect he'll see things from our point of view.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34OK, I'll buy you a pizza if you get through today without yelling.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Yelling should only be used as a last resort.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39We'll see, shall we?

0:04:39 > 0:04:42I'm not touching that.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Deal.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45They're sending a car to get me.

0:04:45 > 0:04:48Are you sure you can keep Max under control?

0:04:48 > 0:04:52The house will be as you left it. Max just needs to be respected.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58- Do you know Oliver Grove? - I sit next to him in maths.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01He gets annoyed when I hum TV theme tunes.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04HE HUMS

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Stop that.

0:05:05 > 0:05:09Oliver also happens to be the president of the school UFO society.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12I didn't even know there was a school UFO society.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Until last week you didn't even know there was a toilet.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18All those years coming to school with a plastic bottle.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Oliver's so convinced aliens exist,

0:05:20 > 0:05:24he's offering £10,000 of his rich father's money

0:05:24 > 0:05:27as a prize to anyone who can find evidence of alien life.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30But if aliens don't exist, nobody will win the money.

0:05:30 > 0:05:35Unless somebody smart can fake an encounter.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Ben?

0:05:37 > 0:05:41I don't know. Were you thinking of an octopus in a pink tutu?

0:05:41 > 0:05:45I'm thinking we're the ones who are going to win that money.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48A ha-ha-ha!

0:05:50 > 0:05:52I don't know why we're laughing!

0:05:55 > 0:05:56Break a leg, Dani.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59That's what got us into this mess in the first place.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02It means good luck, Jack.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05In that case break your leg, neck, every bone in your body.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Bye, guys. And thanks again. - We'll make sure Max behaves,

0:06:08 > 0:06:10- even if it kills us. - Which it probably will.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13The house will be exactly as you left it. I promise.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16- See you later.- Bye.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23- So you're my babysitters.- Think of us as your new best friends.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27If you were, I wouldn't have asked Ben to glue your feet to the floor.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30Hello there.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34- Why would you do that, Max? - So you can't interrupt the meeting.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37What meeting?

0:06:37 > 0:06:40A meeting of our school UFO Society.

0:06:40 > 0:06:41I said they could use Dani's den.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44- You should've got permission... - Ssh!

0:06:45 > 0:06:49I don't bother you, and you turn a blind eye to whatever I get up to.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- I promised Dani...- What Dani doesn't know can't hurt her.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59- We're always up to something. - Way to go, babysitter.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Max? Come back here.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07Ow...

0:07:11 > 0:07:15- What are you doing, Co-ordinator? - I'm recalibrating the teleport.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18The last time we used it you materialised inside a whale.

0:07:18 > 0:07:22And I'm never eating seafood again.

0:07:22 > 0:07:27I was thinking, with Max and Ben so keen to meet an alien,

0:07:27 > 0:07:30I thought it might be our chance to...

0:07:30 > 0:07:33We're not going to Dani's house.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36But we would be the first of our kind to meet real humans!

0:07:36 > 0:07:38And get Dani's autograph at last!

0:07:38 > 0:07:43No, no, no, no, no. I won't let it happen!

0:07:43 > 0:07:45Think of the wisdom we could share.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48We could give them the cure for the common cold,

0:07:48 > 0:07:50and they could give us the recipe for Scotch eggs.

0:07:50 > 0:07:54- Not going to happen. - But we'll get to meet our TV heroes!

0:07:56 > 0:08:01If our superiors found out we went to earth deliberately...

0:08:01 > 0:08:06- We'll have to do it by accident then. Oops!- Co-ordinator!

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Face paint. Should come in handy.

0:08:15 > 0:08:19Erm, Max. Hi. Hello?

0:08:19 > 0:08:22Sorry to interrupt, but I just wondered what you were doing.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25We're looking for Dani's video camera.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28Why do you need Dani's video camera?

0:08:28 > 0:08:32To fake a close encounter with an extra-terrestrial.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34And why are you doing that?

0:08:34 > 0:08:36To win a lot of money off some silly idiots.

0:08:36 > 0:08:40So unless you can find a real alien for us to film,

0:08:40 > 0:08:42you can keep your big hooter out.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46OK. But you will replace the camera, and put the room back

0:08:46 > 0:08:51- the way you found it, won't you? - Do I look like a mug?

0:08:51 > 0:08:53And if you could save me a job,

0:08:53 > 0:08:57and slam the door in your face on the way out...

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Is this it, Max?

0:08:59 > 0:09:00Good work, Ben!

0:09:02 > 0:09:04I have to do everything myself.

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Aaaaaargh!

0:09:13 > 0:09:17HE SCREAMS

0:09:17 > 0:09:18What have you done?

0:09:18 > 0:09:20Teleport us back up to the ship

0:09:20 > 0:09:22before we have a close encounter. Now!

0:09:22 > 0:09:27Sorry, Co-ordinator. The teleporter takes several hours to recharge.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30You mean we're marooned?! On earth?

0:09:32 > 0:09:40Look! It's the actual sofa Dani sits on! Mm! Still warm.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44We can't be discovered. The humans aren't ready for first contact.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48Plus, we might catch some horrible earth disease,

0:09:48 > 0:09:50like World Cup fever, or lazyitis.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55This place is a death-trap.

0:09:55 > 0:09:56CAT FLAP RATTLES

0:09:56 > 0:09:58What was that?

0:10:01 > 0:10:04- It's the cat from hell!- Run away!

0:10:08 > 0:10:10GLASS SHATTERING

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Must be Max breaking more of Dani's stuff.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15He's probably just burning energy. He'll soon stop.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18GLASS SMASHES

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Or he'll carry on until he's trashed the whole house.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24- Unless you want to step in. - I'm not yelling at him.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Maybe I could give him what he wants.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28And what does he want?

0:10:28 > 0:10:30He wants to meet an alien.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Right. Where do we find one of those?

0:10:36 > 0:10:38That way is far too dangerous!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40It's OK, Co-ordinator. I think it's gone.

0:10:40 > 0:10:44- How can you be sure?- Because it's outside chewing on a postman's face.

0:10:46 > 0:10:52- Have you seen this? - Humans! Such strange customs.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57Found one! A singing telegram company that does an Aliengram.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00- Why are you helping him?- Because he thinks I've found him an alien.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04If he gets what he wants he may stop and put Dani's camcorder back.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06That plan doesn't sound doomed to failure.

0:11:07 > 0:11:11Tantu-Bantu, humans. I am Bendu III from the planet Bennimax.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15I want to suck out your brains, and lay an egg in your head...

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Wak wak wak wak waaaaaagh!

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Cut! What is that meant to be?

0:11:19 > 0:11:20I'm being an alien.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24- Aliens should display a superior intellect.- How do I do that?

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Fair point. Action.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31Waca-waca, wibble... woah!

0:11:32 > 0:11:36I wonder if we'll get caught up in some crazy adventure.

0:11:36 > 0:11:40We're not here to get caught up in anything.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Our mission is to watch humanity from afar.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46But imagine how much better we'll be able to do our mission

0:11:46 > 0:11:50if we got up close and personal with our favourite TV stars!

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Argh! We can't let that happen.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Only because you're too chicken to meet them.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02The Aliengrams. That was quick.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05- How did you get in? - We're just glad you're here.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09- You are?- Bet you get sweaty in those funny costumes.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Funny costumes?

0:12:11 > 0:12:15I spent two long hard weeks in the Cosmic Academy to earn my right

0:12:15 > 0:12:18to wear this shiny galactic regalia.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Well, it's very impressive.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22You almost look like real aliens.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Apart from the lampshade.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28- Almost?- You don't believe we're real aliens?

0:12:28 > 0:12:31The distances between solar systems are so vast

0:12:31 > 0:12:35that interstellar travel is unlikely to be a reality, regardless of...

0:12:35 > 0:12:39They're not here to listen to a lecture from the Internet on Legs.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41They're here to fool your precious little Max.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43You want us to fool Max?

0:12:43 > 0:12:48She means, erm, who's Max?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51I just knew we'd get up to something.

0:12:51 > 0:12:52Tantu bantu!

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Our cosmic destroyers are in orbit around your pitiful planet.

0:12:55 > 0:12:59Soon, we shall invade, and destroy all!

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Cut! No, no, no, forget it.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07You're the worst fake alien ever, Ben.

0:13:07 > 0:13:11Might as well kiss that £10,000 prize goodbye.

0:13:12 > 0:13:18- I did my best, Max.- All I want is to be stinking filthy rich.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Is that too much to ask?

0:13:22 > 0:13:27Hello and welcome to another edition of Stinking Filthy Rich!

0:13:28 > 0:13:35Thank you. Our contestant tonight is Miss Bronwyn Cheesewinder.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Hello, Bronwyn.

0:13:38 > 0:13:39Let's bring on the stinkers!

0:13:42 > 0:13:44You know the rules. Sniff our stinkers, and work out

0:13:44 > 0:13:47which one is the millionaire.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Get sniffing.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53What are you getting, Bronwyn?

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Peacocks, frolicking on a croquet lawn.

0:13:56 > 0:14:00The scent of private swimming pools, the tang of a platinum credit card.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02Rich.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05OK. And our next potential millionaire?

0:14:05 > 0:14:11What is that? Smells like he lives in his own filth. Poor.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15OK. Can the millionaire please reveal himself?

0:14:17 > 0:14:22- But he stunk!- Stunk of pig manure, Bronwyn. That's right, pig manure.

0:14:22 > 0:14:26This is Mr Guido Giles, millionaire pig farmer.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29I'm afraid that's all we have time for tonight.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31See you next time. Goodbye.

0:14:31 > 0:14:32Bye-bye, wave.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39So you want us to pretend to be aliens

0:14:39 > 0:14:42so your friend's brother wins a prize?

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Even though we're not aliens?

0:14:47 > 0:14:49We can't go through with this.

0:14:49 > 0:14:52They think we're pretending to be aliens.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55The more humans we encounter, the more chance it is we get found out.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Especially if we're being filmed.

0:14:57 > 0:15:01So? The teleporter will recharge in a while, and we'll be gone.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05- Sorry about that. We'll be happy to help.- Great.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07You're really going to save my neck.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10What a peculiar expression.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14- You've never heard that before? - Not where we come from.

0:15:14 > 0:15:15And where's that?

0:15:18 > 0:15:22- Barcelona.- Wherever that is.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25DOORBELL RINGS

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Oliver. Didn't get run over on the way here, I see.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34Daddy's driver brought me in the limo.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37I suppose your parents drive you around in their horse and cart.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41Is everything still on for our UFO society meeting?

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Oh, yes. I have a feeling somebody might be winning

0:15:43 > 0:15:46your prize for proving aliens exist.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Oh?- Let's just say, I may have come into possession of a video

0:15:49 > 0:15:53- you might be interested in. - Is it aliens? Is it a UFO?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55You are going to be blown away.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57Oh, this is massive, Max. I must tell the others.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00Bye, Oliver.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07Why didn't I just tell him the truth?

0:16:09 > 0:16:13I've failed, Ben. I thought that reward money was ours for sure.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16If only your alien act had been more convincing.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22Jack's provided us with lights and a smoke machine from his DJ rig.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24- I can still get the bubble machine. - Ssh!

0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Ready?- Ready.

0:16:27 > 0:16:31At least you've managed to turn me into The Incredible Hulk.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33I've never felt so powerful. Woargh!

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Max, what's going on?

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Greetings, Earthlings.

0:16:42 > 0:16:46Take us to your leader. I've always wanted to say that.

0:16:46 > 0:16:51We have come from across the stars to deliver a message.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Max...it's aliens!

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Real, live, aliens!

0:16:55 > 0:16:57They've come to probe us!

0:16:57 > 0:16:59They're not aliens, Ben.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02I mean, look at those rubbish costumes.

0:17:02 > 0:17:07You're a more convincing alien than these two losers.

0:17:07 > 0:17:13- Tantu-bantu.- Come on, Ben. Let's go.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22I was only trying to help you win that prize.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24You were trying to make a fool out of me

0:17:24 > 0:17:26by getting me to believe aliens are real.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Just for that, I'm going to break something of Dani's.

0:17:29 > 0:17:30Max, wait!

0:17:32 > 0:17:34Let's hope he breaks something cheap.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36CRASH

0:17:36 > 0:17:40That sounded expensive.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43After all that excitement,

0:17:43 > 0:17:45I'm sweating like an Arcturian Bogweasel.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48Whatever that is.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52- I'll help you get your costumes off. - Oh, no, it's OK.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Really, you don't have to do that. That is quite painful!

0:17:55 > 0:17:58- It's on a bit tight, isn't it? - It would be. Ow!

0:18:01 > 0:18:03These aren't costumes.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05You're aliens?

0:18:05 > 0:18:08- Real aliens?- In Dani's house?

0:18:08 > 0:18:12Um, yes.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16This. Is. Amazing. There's so much you could teach us.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20Are there other species out there? Which star system are you from?

0:18:20 > 0:18:24What sort of propulsion system do you use? Why are you even here?

0:18:24 > 0:18:28Well, we're sort of fans of the show.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31I'm famous in outer space!

0:18:31 > 0:18:33So you're just fans?

0:18:33 > 0:18:36I'm Co-ordinator Zang, this is Co-ordinator Zark.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Oh, just wait until Dani hears about this!

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Dani can't know anything about this.

0:18:42 > 0:18:46About Max borrowing her camcorder, about the UFO meeting,

0:18:46 > 0:18:49or the fact that there are two alien fans in her house.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52I promised the house would be as she left it.

0:18:52 > 0:18:53DOORBELL RINGS

0:18:53 > 0:18:56That'll be Max's UFO expert friend.

0:18:56 > 0:19:00What if the experts can tell we're real aliens?

0:19:00 > 0:19:04- They might sell us for experimentation!- Or dissect us!

0:19:07 > 0:19:11The last thing Dani needs is alien entrails all over the carpet. Hide!

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Wait, wait!

0:19:16 > 0:19:18I've got a better idea.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24That's the best disguise you can come up with?

0:19:24 > 0:19:27We've got a meeting in here.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30Max, who are these green people?

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Just a pair of jokers in rubbish costumes.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35They're my Uncle Alan and Auntie Ellen.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39They heard about your meeting and asked if they could come.

0:19:39 > 0:19:44I want to watch your alien film without any disruptions.

0:19:44 > 0:19:48And I spotted this UFO whilst collecting my ear medicine.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50It looks more like a plane.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54See the tube-shaped body, the two lateral protrusions?

0:19:54 > 0:19:55Also known as "wings".

0:19:55 > 0:19:59Clearly it is a UFO from somewhere beyond our understanding.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Or Heathrow Airport.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04The image does resemble the outline of a Raxian Battlecruiser,

0:20:04 > 0:20:09I suppose. Don't you think so, Co-Ord, er, "Alan"?

0:20:09 > 0:20:10Not that I know what

0:20:10 > 0:20:16a Raxian Battlecruiser looks like, of course, because I'm not an alien.

0:20:24 > 0:20:29- James. Another UFO.- Which just happens to look like a bird.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32It has taken on the appearance of a bird as a form of camouflage.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Max, I said I didn't want any disruptions.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Perhaps we should take a break for nibbles then, Oliver.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Fine. And when we resume, we can watch your video.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43Wait until you see what James has made,

0:20:43 > 0:20:46he's cut the sandwiches into flying saucers.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56What is this food?

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Jam.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05What's wrong?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Where we come from, jam is a foul-smelling

0:21:08 > 0:21:12paste excreted from the rancid bile glands of our mighty Empress.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Where do you come from?

0:21:14 > 0:21:18- Barcelona.- Tastes fine to me.

0:21:18 > 0:21:19Where's the ketchup?

0:21:21 > 0:21:23You're being too alien.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Act like everyone else.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Be normal.

0:21:32 > 0:21:36Be normal. I see.

0:21:39 > 0:21:45I also love ketchup, for I, too, am a normal human.

0:21:52 > 0:21:57Look how normal I'm looking. I'm normal, everyone. Normal I say!

0:21:57 > 0:22:02Ah. That's just my, er...

0:22:02 > 0:22:04- what do you call it? - Mobile phone?- Yes.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06That's my mobolophone.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08I'll see what it wants.

0:22:08 > 0:22:13What do you want from me, what do you want, mobolophone?

0:22:13 > 0:22:16And I'll go check up on my video.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20What are you going to say to Dani if she comes in now

0:22:20 > 0:22:23to find her camcorder missing, her bedroom ransacked,

0:22:23 > 0:22:27and a bunch of geeks in her den? Not to mention two real aliens.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Surprise?

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Almost recharged. I shall let Co-ordinator Zang

0:22:35 > 0:22:37know we can return to our spacecraft.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41What spacecraft would that be then?

0:22:41 > 0:22:45Spacecraft is our pet name for our...

0:22:45 > 0:22:48- pet flamingo.- Give me that.

0:22:48 > 0:22:52- This isn't a phone. - Please be careful.

0:22:52 > 0:22:56- It's a very sensitive piece of equipment.- So you ARE an alien!

0:22:56 > 0:22:58No. Maybe.

0:22:58 > 0:23:02Yes, I am. Pretty cool, eh?

0:23:02 > 0:23:07If Oliver's dad is going to cough up ten grand for video of an alien,

0:23:07 > 0:23:09imagine what he'd do for a live specimen!

0:23:09 > 0:23:12I am not for sale.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14Wait, let go of me!

0:23:18 > 0:23:22- Oh, no!- What is the one thing better than video footage of an alien?

0:23:22 > 0:23:27- Getting a pony?- The one thing better than film of an alien is of course

0:23:27 > 0:23:31an actual alien. And what's better than one actual alien?

0:23:31 > 0:23:35Are you trying to tell us that you've captured an alien, Max?

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Two aliens in fact!

0:23:38 > 0:23:41Shall I start the bidding at 50,000?

0:23:41 > 0:23:45Max, my aunt and uncle aren't aliens.

0:23:45 > 0:23:49- Of course they are. Look at them. They're green and stuff.- So is Ben.

0:23:49 > 0:23:52So are lettuces.

0:23:52 > 0:23:56You saw him eat that ketchup. No human can do that without being sick.

0:23:56 > 0:24:00Jack, show him.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Delicious.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Well, Max?

0:24:10 > 0:24:14I caught this one using some sort of alien device. She was probably

0:24:14 > 0:24:19- preparing to wipe our minds.- There are worse things they could wipe.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22Ben, you're not helping.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Come along, boys. We're leaving.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Wait! Oliver, I'm telling the truth.

0:24:36 > 0:24:41Oliver, please, please, you have to believe me.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44I'll be sure to tell the rest of the UFO community about this.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48Just in case you try to con anyone else out of their money.

0:24:48 > 0:24:49But I was telling the truth!

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Better luck next time, Maxy boy.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58I'm sure the government would be very happy to get their hands

0:24:58 > 0:25:00on a couple of live aliens.

0:25:00 > 0:25:04I'm sure you two will look great in a specimen jar.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06I have had enough for one day.

0:25:06 > 0:25:07- I beg your pardon?- Aliens.

0:25:07 > 0:25:10Rudeness. Wrecking Dani's bedroom.

0:25:10 > 0:25:11There's only so much I can take!

0:25:11 > 0:25:16Ooh! What are you going do, Sam? Ask me nicely to stop?

0:25:16 > 0:25:20No. I'm going to tell you to stop. And if you don't, you are so for it.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22Leave our alien friends alone,

0:25:22 > 0:25:24go and clean up the mess in Dani's bedroom,

0:25:24 > 0:25:27put her camcorder back and then go to your room!

0:25:27 > 0:25:31All you ever had to say was "please".

0:25:31 > 0:25:36Come on, Ben. Let's go and do as Miss Shoutypants says.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43Would now be a good time to mention you're not going to get your pizza?

0:25:43 > 0:25:44Urgh!

0:25:49 > 0:25:53When the power in the teleport unit reaches 100%,

0:25:53 > 0:25:54we shall return to our spacecraft.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57There were so many things I never got to ask.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Like, is time really relative?

0:25:59 > 0:26:03Do you use social engineering to create a truly peaceful society?

0:26:03 > 0:26:06Do you have as little clue what she's on about as I do?

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Such a shame we couldn't meet Dani.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11Just as well. If she knew half of what's been going on...

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Hi guys, I'm back. >

0:26:13 > 0:26:15How was Max?

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Who... What is, who are they?

0:26:22 > 0:26:26Co-ordinator, now's your chance to say

0:26:26 > 0:26:29all those things you wanted to say.

0:26:29 > 0:26:33- Go on.- No, you go on.- I can't.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Me neither. I'm too nervous.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41- Dani?- Yes?

0:26:41 > 0:26:44What's your favourite shape?

0:26:48 > 0:26:50So... How did the show go?

0:26:51 > 0:26:54Aren't you going to explain to me why there were two aliens

0:26:54 > 0:26:55in my living room?

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Would you believe this is all a dream?

0:26:57 > 0:27:00There were two real live aliens in my house!

0:27:00 > 0:27:02They disappeared right in front of my eyes!

0:27:02 > 0:27:04DOORBELL RINGS

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Greetings, earthlings!

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Another one! I can't believe it.

0:27:11 > 0:27:13A real, live alien in my house.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17This is amazing. Did you come here in a flying saucer?

0:27:17 > 0:27:19No, the 47 bus.

0:27:19 > 0:27:24- I'm the Aliengram you ordered.- What?

0:27:28 > 0:27:32And we still didn't get Dani's autograph.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Perhaps we should return

0:27:34 > 0:27:37and properly introduce ourselves to Dani.

0:27:37 > 0:27:41There is no way I am going back down there while Max is still at large.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44You're right. Earth is far too dangerous.

0:27:44 > 0:27:49Shall we use the amnesia ray to make the humans forget we ever existed?

0:27:49 > 0:27:50BOTH: Nah!

0:28:01 > 0:28:04Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd