0:00:02 > 0:00:04Emperor Zorlok, we can't let you destroy planet Earth!
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- It's our favourite planet! - But it gets in the way of the sun
0:00:07 > 0:00:10- when I'm topping up my tan. - But you don't tan, you're green.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11HE GROWLS
0:00:11 > 0:00:14More to the point, destroying a planet is against galactic law.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Yes, and it's very, very, very naughty.
0:00:17 > 0:00:18HE GROWLS
0:00:18 > 0:00:21I have an entire battlefleet at my disposal.
0:00:21 > 0:00:26A million warriors, armed to the teeth with state-of-the-art
0:00:26 > 0:00:30pulse disintegrators, gravity cannons and guff rays!
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Who would dare try to stop me? You?
0:00:35 > 0:00:39If...if you really want to blow something up, what about Venus? No-one'll miss it!
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- Apart from the Venusians! - Oh, I have an idea.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45What about if you and Coordinator Zang have a duel?
0:00:45 > 0:00:49- We will do no such thing!- A duel? I rather like that idea.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- Now look what you've done! - But I want to fight a human.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57- And definitely not me?- I want to fight Earth's mightiest champion.
0:00:57 > 0:01:03If he, or she, can defeat ME, I shall spare their planet.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Earth's mightiest champion it is!
0:01:06 > 0:01:11I shall return in three hours for the greatest battle of all time.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16How exactly are we going to find Earth's mightiest champion?
0:01:16 > 0:01:21- I think I know where to start. - Dani's House?
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Hey, guys! My name's Dani, and this...
0:01:26 > 0:01:27..is her best friend, Jack!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Thanks. My name's Dani, and this...
0:01:29 > 0:01:31- ..is her brother, Max! - And his best friend, Ben!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34As I was saying, my name's Dani, and this..
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- ..is her friend, Ruby! - And I'm her sister, Maisy!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39And I'm Dani, and this is the brilliant Dani's House.
0:01:39 > 0:01:40ALL: Our house!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42THEY ARGUE OVER EACH OTHER
0:01:42 > 0:01:44RUBY WHISTLES
0:01:51 > 0:01:53I am Earth's mightiest champion!
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Aren't you taking this a bit seriously?
0:01:55 > 0:01:56I mean, it's only a dance game.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Yeah, which I happen to be the most awesome player ever at.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- In your dreams!- Eat my silky moves.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Wooo!
0:02:07 > 0:02:12Yes! I am the undefeated Alien Dance-Off champion of the world!
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Well, technically, you're the undefeated Alien Dance-Off champion
0:02:15 > 0:02:16of the house.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I don't get why I keep losing! I'm twice as fit as you two!
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Wow, Ruby! You really can't stand losing.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Losing is for losers!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Then why don't you stick at something you're good at?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26She's good at losing!
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- Restart the game, twinkletoes! - Let's make it quick.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I'm due at McHurties in an hour to film a scene with a giant vicar.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- Don't ask!- Don't worry, this will be over before you know it!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48You don't seriously think Jack is Earth's mightiest champion?
0:02:48 > 0:02:51You heard him, Coordinator. He said so himself.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52He was talking about a videogame.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Emperor Zorlock is the most feared barbarian in the universe.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00He has muscles of steel, reflexes like coiled springs,
0:03:00 > 0:03:02and breath like a bucket of rotten prawns.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06And Jack is just a DJ who likes stuffing his face with junk food.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Zorlock will be here in three hours.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11If we don't present him with Earth's mightiest champion,
0:03:11 > 0:03:13he's going to destroy the planet.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Ah, here it is. Our teleporter.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19We can't go back down there, Coordinator.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Last time was a near disaster!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23And Jack won't even remember us, we wiped his memory.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Then we'll just have to unwipe it!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32What's a-happening, smellies?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I thought you two were playing ultimate chess.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35We decided to call it a draw.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39Woah, is that Alien Dance Off? When did you get this?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Hands off. I don't want you to break it, sell it, or steal it.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43I share my things with you.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46The only thing you ever shared with me is tonsillitis.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50- Technically, that's still sharing. - Can I have a go of the game, Dani?
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Don't fall for it, Dani. She's even naughtier than Max.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56I'm not naughty, I just have different values to you.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Oh, come on, let's have one quick go. - No, I don't trust you.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- But we're flesh and blood! - Yeah, and the thought of that
0:04:01 > 0:04:04makes my skin crawl. You're a horrible little weasel, Max,
0:04:04 > 0:04:06and I wish you were never my brother. Now get lost!
0:04:06 > 0:04:11Come on, Maisy. Let's leave the older children to their game!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- That was a bit much, wasn't it, Dani?- He gives as good as he gets.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Ha! I danced you over the edge of the volcano,
0:04:18 > 0:04:20straight into that lava serpent's mouth!
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- I win!- Oh, come on, how is that fair? I wasn't even looking.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25In your face, magma pants!
0:04:25 > 0:04:29'In your face, magma pants!' Come on!
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- How dare she talk to me like that?! - Like Ruby treats me any better.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34It's an outrage!
0:04:34 > 0:04:37All I've ever done is dedicate my entire life to embarrassing her.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Same here! To Dani, I'm just some stupid kid.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43You'd think Ruby would see the funny side of all the times I've
0:04:43 > 0:04:46sold her stuff, posted her personal details online,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48I've put live eels in her bed.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Maisy, do you think I'm a bad brother?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53If you're a bad brother, then I'm a bad sister,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56and I know for a fact that I am an amazing sister.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Do you think Dani would be nicer to me if I was nicer to her?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Woah, stop the press! Where did that crazy idea come from?
0:05:02 > 0:05:07I'm not sure, but I think it's time I became a better brother.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Dum dum duuuuum!
0:05:11 > 0:05:15I am so glad you've decided to resolve your differences.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- We've been fighting forever. - Let's start at the beginning.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19When do you first remember arguing?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Well, it all started way back when we were little kids.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Max challenged me to a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Max beat me and spent six months gloating about it.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Ever since then, he's always had to have one up on me.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31He can't let things go.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Well, why don't you just let bygones be bygones and shake hands?
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- How about it, Dani?- Sure. Why not?
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Oh, yes! Scissors defeats paper. I win again.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Loser! Loooooser!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49In your face, loser!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Do you have everything you need for the mission?- I think so.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Remind-atron,
0:06:03 > 0:06:05packed lunch,
0:06:05 > 0:06:07flask of weak tea,
0:06:07 > 0:06:09scarf,
0:06:09 > 0:06:11camera,
0:06:11 > 0:06:12spare scarf,
0:06:12 > 0:06:14spare spare scarf,
0:06:14 > 0:06:15autograph book,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18spare autograph book,
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- spare spare... - You're not going on a pleasure trip!
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Well, I'll leave the sandwiches behind, then.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Bring the sandwiches, but leave everything else.
0:06:24 > 0:06:29- Even my scarves?- Even the scarves. Now, brace yourself.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I'm almost ready to teleport us.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Just need to remember how this thing works.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38You OK to keep Max and Maisy away from my stuff while I'm at work?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41I'll watch them like the hawkiest hawk that ever hawked.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- They won't come within 20 metres of your game.- Cheers, Ruby.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- See you later, guys.- Have a good day.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50- Right. Alien Dance-Off?- Nah. I've got a new challenge now.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Making sure Max and my sister stay upstairs and out of trouble.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Oh, fine. I'll just zap some aliens back into space on my own, then!
0:07:04 > 0:07:10I can't believe it! Back in Dani's house again and we've missed her!
0:07:10 > 0:07:12We're not here to meet our idols, Coordinator Zark.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14True. We're on a very important mission.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17We've got less than three hours to save planet Earth!
0:07:20 > 0:07:24- You're already eating the sandwiches?- I'm hungry!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29So, when Dani comes home from work,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32I'm going to present her with this massive bunch of flowers.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- So, you're really doing this? - And then I'm going
0:07:34 > 0:07:36to read out an apology for all the times I've treated her badly.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38KNOCK AT DOOR
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Oh, Ruby, what a pleasure! How can I help you?
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- Whatever you're both planning, I'm going to stop you!- Excuse me?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48You heard. I'm going to stop you, Max,
0:07:48 > 0:07:51and I'm going to stop you so hard, you'll need to get airbags fitted!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I don't think you do want to try and stop me.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Max was planning to buy Dani a massive bouquet of flowers
0:07:57 > 0:07:59and apologise for being nasty to her.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- You expect me to believe that?- What exactly is it you think we're up to?
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- You're both planning to take Dani's game.- Oh, you're completely wrong.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11I don't think so! You're two of a kind. Trouble with a capital T!
0:08:11 > 0:08:15- And that's T with no sugar. - You barely even know me!
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Dani's told me all about you, Max, and if you even set one foot
0:08:19 > 0:08:23outside this door while Dani's at work, I'll make sure you regret it.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26You're a disease, baby, and I'm the cure!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31What's the point in trying to change
0:08:31 > 0:08:33if everyone just thinks the worst about me?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35If you're serious about this,
0:08:35 > 0:08:37it's going to take time to prove you can change.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Forget change, I'm through with change.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43If Dani and her friends just think I'm some stupid kid who wants
0:08:43 > 0:08:46to cause trouble, that's exactly who I'll be.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49I'm going to steal Dani's game after all, and you're going to help me.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Dum dum duuuuum!
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Behold my funky disco, you alien scumbags!
0:09:03 > 0:09:07- Help us, Jack!- You're our only hope! - Argh!
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I'm sorry I said alien scumbags! Just please, don't probe me!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I'll do anything! I've got a terrible fear of impossible
0:09:12 > 0:09:14and totally unlikely things!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- Jack, it's us!- Coordinator Zang and Coordinator Zark.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Don't you remember?
0:09:19 > 0:09:23I think I'd remember meeting a pair of aliens! Agh!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Well, there goes Earth's mightiest champion, wetting his pants
0:09:27 > 0:09:30and running away. Prepare the device.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Jack! Oh, Jack!
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Go away, I'm not here!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- Please, just keep away from me! - Do it, Coordinator.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48Use the Remind-atron.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51No, please! Please don't exterminate me!
0:10:00 > 0:10:05I remember. Zang, Zark, you're back! How've you been, guys?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- Ah! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! - Jack, we need your help.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- We need you to fight someone! - But I'm a DJ, not a fighter.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14If you don't do it, we have to find someone else!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16We haven't got time for that.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- Well, who is it you want me to fight, exactly?- This guy.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I'm Emperor Zorlock, conqueror of the Celestine archive.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31Wielder of the mighty spear of galactic destruction.
0:10:31 > 0:10:36Holder of the 100m breaststroke certificate of doom!
0:10:37 > 0:10:41I'm fearsome, I'm handsome, and I make a mean cheesy omelette!
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Er, what was that?
0:10:46 > 0:10:49That was a video Emperor Zorlock made for an outer-space
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- internet dating website. - What, and you want ME to fight HIM?
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Well, if you don't, Zorlock will destroy the Earth!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Yeah, but won't fighting him be slightly dangerous?
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Oh, incredibly dangerous.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Zorlock has over a thousand years of combat experience.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05He's the most feared warrior in the cosmos!
0:11:05 > 0:11:07The mention of his name makes even the dreaded Orblons go
0:11:07 > 0:11:08weak at the knees!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- And the Orblons don't even have knees.- Why me?
0:11:10 > 0:11:14You're the best at defeating alien scumbags! You said so yourself.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Those are aliens in a videogame! There's a teeny bit of a difference!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22- We can train you! - You're not scared, are you, Jack?
0:11:22 > 0:11:26Scared? Me? Ha, ha, please! I eat wimps like him for breakfast.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31- I thought humans preferred corn flakes.- I knew you were our man.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- Let's go!- Woah, Nelly! Hang on, I never said I do it, OK?
0:11:34 > 0:11:40- I'm busy today.- Busy with what? - I've, er, got to wash the car.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43- You don't have a car, you don't even drive.- Exactly.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46First, I need to learn how to drive, save up the money to buy a car,
0:11:46 > 0:11:49actually buy the car, and then wash it.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Jack, if you do this, you could be a hero to the whole of humanity.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55And you could really show off to Dani and Ruby!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57So, what do you say?
0:11:59 > 0:12:03OK, OK, I'm in. What choice do I have?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- Yay!- We knew you were our man.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Let's get started.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- We've less than three hours to save planet Earth!- No pressure, then(!)
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- I'm so excited to be back. - What are you up to in there?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16PHONE RINGS
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- Hey, Dani.- How's everything going there? Is Max behaving himself?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Don't you worry about Max or my sister.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I've got them both under surveillance!
0:12:26 > 0:12:31- Dani! This is James, he's playing our vicar.- Hi, Dani.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Got to go...
0:12:32 > 0:12:33Nice hat!
0:12:37 > 0:12:41- She thinks she's so smart. - Don't underestimate my sister, Max.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43She doesn't back down easily.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46I've never backed down from a challenge, either.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48This is where we are, the top of the house,
0:12:48 > 0:12:52and this is where Dani's game is, and this is Ruby.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53So, what's the plan?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55First, I need my paints, then I need you to tell me
0:12:55 > 0:12:58everything you know about Ruby that can help us,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01her weaknesses, her insecurities, her flaws.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05- I'll enjoy that!- And then, I need you to cause a distraction.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09Get your high-quality sporting goods here!
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Training shoes, tennis balls, netball skirts...
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Madame! Can I interest you
0:13:15 > 0:13:19in some half-price athlete's foot powder for your stinky feet?
0:13:19 > 0:13:20Maisy, what are you up to?
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Why do you always assume the worst about people?
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- I'm just trying to make some pocket mon... Oww!- Pocket mon-ow?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30My leg, it hurts, it really hurts!
0:13:30 > 0:13:33What's the matter, what is it?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35I don't know, it's a shooting pain,
0:13:35 > 0:13:38- like a needle jabbing right into it. - Show me where it hurts.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Wait a minute! Where do you think you're going?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I can still see you, Max.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Well, it was worth a go!
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Nice try.- It's not over yet!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59In order to defeat Emperor Zorlock,
0:13:59 > 0:14:03we must teach you the most ancient of our martial arts.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06HE COUGHS AND CHOKES
0:14:06 > 0:14:09JACK IMITATES ZANG'S COUGHING
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- I'm loving all these strange alien words!- That's not what it's called.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I just inhaled a fly.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19To master our technique, you must first learn the rules of combat.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23Rule one. Battles are won with the head, not with the fist.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Rule two. Disregard rule one. Hit him before he hits you.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Rule three. If you try to hit him and miss, run away very, very fast.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34This is our most ancient and holy weapon.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35The Wobbly-Bobbly!
0:14:41 > 0:14:46The Wobbly-Bobbly? I'm supposed to fight him with this? I can't do it.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48- Where are you going? - To make a sandwich. Sorry, guys.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51You're going to have to find someone else to be your hero.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Clearly, we need to exploit one of Ruby's other weaknesses.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58What else can you tell me about her?
0:14:58 > 0:15:03- She has a soft spot for charitable causes.- This is good. What else?
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- She has a weird fondness for animals.- This is great material.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10I can work with this.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Hand me the phone, Maisy, and watch the master at work.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16PHONE RINGS
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- Hello?- 'Thank goodness!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23'We've been trying to get hold of someone who can help!'
0:15:23 > 0:15:27- Why, what's happened?- A whale has washed up on the local beach.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30We need every good soul we can find to help rescue it!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32OK, I'll be there as soon as I can.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I can't believe that worked.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45- My sister's soft on animals to the point of stupidity!- Let's go.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Er, how stupid do you two think I am, exactly?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Another point to the Rubester!
0:15:54 > 0:15:58We can't go through or past Ruby, so we'll have to go around her.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- A safe?- It's a hidden door.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07This house used to be full of secret passageways,
0:16:07 > 0:16:09but Mum and Dad boarded most of them up.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- They never found this one, however. - But why didn't we use it already?
0:16:13 > 0:16:17- I swore I'd only ever use it as a last resort.- Why?
0:16:18 > 0:16:24- Oh! Ugh!- It goes via the plumbing. - No wonder it was the last resort.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27That's just mingin'!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- Why don't one of you fight him? - Zorlock wants to fight a human.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34So, find a human who isn't as scared as I am.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- What about Ruby? - There isn't the time to train her.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Zorlock will be here any second! - Jack, please.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Zorlock's just a bully. He just needs someone to stand up to him.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47- Bullies are all cowards underneath. - Well, he didn't look like a coward!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49He looked like he was capable of ripping my head off
0:16:49 > 0:16:50and using it as a scatter cushion.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Jack, please. He's going to disintegrate your planet!
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Then, if you don't mind,
0:16:56 > 0:16:59I'd like to enjoy this last ever sandwich in peace.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06So, you thought you could hide by coming to Earth?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Well, I traced your biosignals!
0:17:09 > 0:17:13I promise you, Emperor Zorlock, we weren't hiding.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15We came here to find Earth's mightiest champion.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17And where is this champion?
0:17:22 > 0:17:23Is it you?
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Well? Hmm? Answer me!
0:17:29 > 0:17:34I said, answer me!
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Suspiciously quiet in there.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- Ready?- No way, it stinks in there.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Fine, I'll go alone.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48We'll keep in contact with these walkie-talkie watches.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Wish me luck.
0:18:00 > 0:18:07- What's wrong with you, human? Why won't you speak?- I want my mummy!
0:18:12 > 0:18:17Reveal yourself, champion, immediately!
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Reveal yourself,
0:18:18 > 0:18:23or I will order my battlefleet to turn this world to ash!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Mwahahahahahaha!
0:18:26 > 0:18:31- Max to Maisy. Come in, Maisy!- This is Maisy. How is it in there?- Uh-oh.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35- What?- The floor is sloping away from me!
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I think I'm going to... Waaaaaah!
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Max, are you OK? Max!
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Aaaaaaaah!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Are you Earth's champion?
0:18:49 > 0:18:53Na-ha! Alien! Alien!
0:18:53 > 0:18:54That isn't Earth's champion either.
0:18:55 > 0:19:00He is now. Take arms, human.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02What's this? Ha, ha, wobbly!
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Defend yourself!
0:19:05 > 0:19:09- That could have hit me!- Just run, for your life!- Get back here!
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Get back here and defend your planet! Mwahahahah!
0:19:15 > 0:19:17PHONE RINGS
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Hello?
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Dani! No, no, everything's under control.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25No suspicious noises coming from Max's room.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26CHAIR FALLS OVER
0:19:26 > 0:19:27Er, how are things there?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30The guy playing the vicar hit his head on the studio lights.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32They're sending me home early!
0:19:32 > 0:19:36I do wish you'd be more careful. These lights are very expensive.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39No need to rush, take your time.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Everything's fine here...probably.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44OK, bye!
0:19:46 > 0:19:51Oh, what's the combination? Oh, Max! There's only one thing for it.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55We have to get downstairs, now!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57You think that just by demanding it,
0:19:57 > 0:20:00I'm going to give in and let you go downstairs and take Dani's game?
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- Oh, but Max is in trouble! - Max is in his room.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06There's a secret passage that leads from his room to the kitchen.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09It's really, really smelly, he went down it,
0:20:09 > 0:20:11and I think he could be hurt.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Maisy, you've tried some lines over the years,
0:20:13 > 0:20:14but that is just desperate.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18- Oh, I'm telling the truth! - That'd be a first!
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I promised Dani I'd keep an eye on you both,
0:20:20 > 0:20:23and I never back down from a challenge, so, tough!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- I'm not budging!- Grrrrr!
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Where is your honour?
0:20:31 > 0:20:36Same place as my understanding of what's going on. Who are you?!
0:20:36 > 0:20:41I am Zorlock, destroyer of...things.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Mwahahahah!
0:20:42 > 0:20:45MAX WAILS
0:20:45 > 0:20:46CRASH!
0:20:48 > 0:20:52Food. More food'll take my mind off things!
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Good old reliable food!
0:20:54 > 0:20:59- Come to me, my beauty!- Why are you being such a coward, Jack?- Aaaaah!
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- Shut up! You're not real. - Think of your pals.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06- They're relying on you to save them. - You're just my guilt talking.
0:21:06 > 0:21:11- Do the right thing. Don't let Max face Zorlock alone.- I know, I know.
0:21:11 > 0:21:16I can't let everyone down, but... I'm scared.
0:21:16 > 0:21:21Being a hero is about being scared, but doing the right thing anyway.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- You're right. Thank you, sandwich.- Nae bother.
0:21:27 > 0:21:32It's time to step up. Just call me Earth's mightiest champion.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Be a love and pop me back in the fridge, would you?
0:21:39 > 0:21:42There's a salmon bagel in there I'm rather fond of.
0:21:49 > 0:21:50That was weird.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02- This isn't going well. - Please don't hurt me!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Leave him alone, you big bully!
0:22:05 > 0:22:10I'm Earth's mightiest champion, and I'm here to defend my planet.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12I knew he'd come through!
0:22:12 > 0:22:17Well, well, well. This just got interesting.
0:22:17 > 0:22:22Looks like you had a lucky escape, puny boy.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24HE ROARS
0:22:24 > 0:22:29OK, you're right, I am lying. Max didn't fall down a secret passage.
0:22:29 > 0:22:34- I knew it!- I just keep lying to people, Ruby. I've tried to stop.
0:22:34 > 0:22:40But I caaaaan't! Big lies, medium-sized lies, enormous lies.
0:22:40 > 0:22:46- I'm obsessed. I'm such a terrible person!- No, you're not!
0:22:46 > 0:22:48I am, and I'm horrible to you.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52Maybe we could both treat each other a bit better.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56You're such a good person, and I'm such a terrible little sister.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00Oh, I'm sorry, Maisy. Would it help to talk about your problems?
0:23:00 > 0:23:05It might, but first, I'm going to go and check on Max...
0:23:05 > 0:23:10- What?- Don't bother chasing after me, I've tied your shoelaces together!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- Hey! - CRASH!
0:23:17 > 0:23:20HE ROARS
0:23:20 > 0:23:21MAISY SCREAMS
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Aliens!
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Max, are you OK?
0:23:29 > 0:23:33Of course I'm OK. I am Max, I am supercool.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Are you trembling?- Er, no.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Well, if you're the best that Earth has to offer,
0:23:39 > 0:23:43then this puny planet deserves to be destroyed!
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Wait! Why do you want to disintegrate the Earth?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- What's it ever done to you?- Hello?
0:23:49 > 0:23:54- It gets in the way of me having an even, all-over tan!- But you're green.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Right, Maisy! Whatever you're...
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- Aliens!- Now do you believe that Max was in trouble?
0:24:00 > 0:24:05Hello? Look, Zorlock. Earth's a pretty amazing place.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08It's not perfect, but does it really deserve to be blown up?
0:24:08 > 0:24:14- Look, I guess I've just got a lot of pent-up rage.- I know, I know.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Come on. Let it all out.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28Sssssh!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33When I was little, none of the other podlings took me seriously.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Becoming an inter-galactic warlord,
0:24:35 > 0:24:38it was the only way I could get any attention.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Plus, this job is just so stressful. I work such long hours.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44It sounds to me like you need a holiday.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47What about a holiday on Earth? It's a beautiful place.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50And it's the only planet in the galaxy with television!
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Tele-what?
0:24:51 > 0:24:55You don't have television where you come from? Show him, Jack.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58It's bad news, I'm afraid, Mr Spellbub.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01The spider eggs in your hair are beginning to hatch!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Aaaaaah!
0:25:03 > 0:25:07- What is this?- This is called a soap opera, but we have dramas,
0:25:07 > 0:25:11quizzes and top-rated comedy shows starring beautiful people!
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- I want a television! - I'm sure you could buy one.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18I want THIS television! Oh, I think I'm in love!
0:25:18 > 0:25:21There's no way I could disintegrate the Earth now.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23I've got too many TV shows to watch!
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Yeah, well, that's actually my friend's telly, so...
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Mwwahh! Come, let's get married!
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Well, it looks as if the Earth is safe once more. Well done, Jack.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37You used your head rather than your fist.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39You truly are Earth's mightiest champion!
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Can anyone explain to me what exactly is going on today?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- Don't worry about it.- Don't worry?
0:25:45 > 0:25:47If you hadn't noticed, you're an alien!
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Yeah, and I'm Earth's mightiest champion. In your face, Rubes!
0:25:51 > 0:25:54- This place is crazy. - You get used to it.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58Max, Maisy, I owe you an apology.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00- Guys, I'm home!- It's Dani!
0:26:00 > 0:26:03OK, Dani's been at work and I don't think she wants to come home
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- to find two aliens in her house! - Awwww!- Jack's right.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Plus, I don't want to see Dani's reaction when she notices
0:26:09 > 0:26:14the TV's gone. Well done, again, for saving the Earth. Bye, now!
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Wait a minute...
0:26:16 > 0:26:20- So, what have I missed? - I'm Earth's mightiest champion.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Are you still going on about that game?
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- What has Max been doing?- Why do you always think everything's my fault?
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Because it always is.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Dani, I think we need to give Max and Maisy
0:26:31 > 0:26:32the benefit of the doubt a little more often.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Yeah! If you hadn't leapt to the conclusion that I was going
0:26:35 > 0:26:37to try and break or steal your game,
0:26:37 > 0:26:39I wouldn't have been trying to break or steal your game!
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- Oh, so you were up to no good? - Not until you got in our faces!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Yeah, and if Maisy hadn't jumped in when she did,
0:26:44 > 0:26:47I'd have been pummelled by a vicious alien spobbly-bobbly!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49OK, maybe I have been a bit unfair.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52You can have a go at Alien Dance-Off, what do you say?
0:26:53 > 0:26:58- Nah, this is far too unrealistic. - OK, I'm going to watch some TV.
0:27:01 > 0:27:02Where's the telly?
0:27:07 > 0:27:11So it looks like planet Earth lives to orbit another day!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- Indeed, it does, Coordinator Zarg. - I had fun today!- So did I.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15And you know what?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I think, deep down, Jack and his friends had fun too.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20What a shame they won't remember us being there.
0:27:20 > 0:27:27Prepare to wipe their memories in three, two, one, wipe!
0:27:27 > 0:27:31Hold on! That was the wrong button! That wasn't the amnesia ray control!
0:27:31 > 0:27:33You activated our nudity beam!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36THEY ALL SCREAM
0:27:45 > 0:27:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:48 > 0:27:51E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk