We Should Be Heroes

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0:00:07 > 0:00:09Commander Zang, what are you doing?

0:00:09 > 0:00:12- Nothing! - It looked like you were posing.

0:00:12 > 0:00:16Oh, all right. Maybe I was trying to appear more heroic.

0:00:16 > 0:00:17I mean, look at my ancestors -

0:00:17 > 0:00:19Lord Zircon The Mighty.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21Veteran of 100 campaigns.

0:00:21 > 0:00:26Commander Zeglack. Sole survivor of the Fourth Squadron Skirmish.

0:00:27 > 0:00:28And me.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31I should be a hero like my ancestors.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33- What went wrong?- Aww...

0:00:33 > 0:00:36Well, you've always been my hero.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Can I get your autograph?

0:00:38 > 0:00:42Really? All right. Anything for a fan.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45SHE SNIGGERS

0:00:49 > 0:00:52"I, Commander Zang, am a monkey-faced pants lord."

0:00:54 > 0:00:57- How dare you mock me?! - Oh, stop moaning.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00It's time to watch our real heroes on Dani's House.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Commander Zeglack would never have put up with this nonsense!

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Commander Zeglack wasn't a monkey-faced pants lord!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Hey, guys, great to see you.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17My name's Dani and this is...

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Her best friend, Sam!

0:01:19 > 0:01:20Sam! As I was saying,

0:01:20 > 0:01:22my name's Dani and this is...

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Her other best friend, Jack.

0:01:24 > 0:01:25Stuffing his face as usual.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is...

0:01:27 > 0:01:31- Brother, Max.- And his mate, Ben.

0:01:31 > 0:01:32Go away! QUIET!

0:01:33 > 0:01:37- As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is D...- ALL: My house!

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Oh! I give up!

0:01:39 > 0:01:40Shhhh!

0:01:43 > 0:01:45What's going on?!

0:01:45 > 0:01:48- We're trapped in some kind of net. - Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Ben, help me stop the device, quick! - But you can't stop it.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54Just throw it out the window.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56I can't. The device has a motion sensor.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58Moving it will set it off.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01- Throw something over the top of it! - Like what?- Like Ben!

0:02:01 > 0:02:03No time. There's only five seconds left!

0:02:03 > 0:02:05- Four.- Three.- Two.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07One!

0:02:07 > 0:02:09EXPLOSION

0:02:12 > 0:02:15What seems to be the problem, Mr Kestrel?

0:02:15 > 0:02:19- CLEARS THROAT - Mr Kestrel... Mr Kestrel!

0:02:19 > 0:02:22- Oh, hey, guys. You just caught me learning my lines.- Quiet on set!

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Oh, better go. Job to do.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Rolling and action!

0:02:43 > 0:02:45What seems to be the problem, Mr Kestrel?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48I understand you've been having some chest pains.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Nurse, can you mend a broken heart?

0:02:56 > 0:03:00I'm flattered, Mr Kestrel, but I'm already married...

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- to my job.- And cut!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05BELL RINGS

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Let's reset for another take.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Dani, I have a task for you.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Oh, I know I didn't nail that Mr Kestrel line.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15Not that. This! Look at all your fan mail.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- I have fans?- You sound surprised. - Of course I'm surprised.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21There's tons of it. Are you sure they've got the right Dani?

0:03:21 > 0:03:23You're a TV star now, someone special.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Answering fan mail's part of the job.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29I want every single one of these letters answered by tomorrow.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31But I've got stuff to do tonight.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33You don't want to disappoint your fans, do you?

0:03:33 > 0:03:37- No, course not. - Fabulous. By tomorrow?- Mmm-hmm.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41Tomorrow!

0:03:46 > 0:03:47- Cushions plumped?- Check.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Pretzels ready?- Check.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51- Fresh batteries in the remote? - Check.

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Then we're ready for a long day of couch potato-ing.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59'I'm flattered, Mr Kestrel, but...

0:03:59 > 0:04:02'I'm already married...to my job.'

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Turn it off! Turn it off!

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Turn off my horrible sister.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Is there no escape from her now she's on TV?

0:04:10 > 0:04:13You should watch with your eyes closed and fingers in your ears.

0:04:13 > 0:04:17It'll be just our luck that Dani will be a hero

0:04:17 > 0:04:19to millions of impressionable young fools,

0:04:19 > 0:04:21and we will be forgotten.

0:04:24 > 0:04:25I wish we could be heroes.

0:04:25 > 0:04:30That's it! Ben, we can be heroes. Better than heroes.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32- What's better than a hero? - Think about it!

0:04:32 > 0:04:35A giant chocolate goose you can ride on?

0:04:35 > 0:04:36A superhero.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39You and I will be the first real superheroes

0:04:39 > 0:04:40this world has ever seen!

0:04:40 > 0:04:43We'll see how Dani likes it when everyone's hailing us

0:04:43 > 0:04:47- for our heroic deeds. - Sounds good to me. High five!

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Up above. Down below...

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Oh, too slow.

0:04:55 > 0:04:59The square root of four is two and...

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Oh, great - an astronaut running on a treadmill.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05I must still be dreaming. I thought it was a bit strange

0:05:05 > 0:05:08my gran was hiding in my wardrobe this morning.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09You're not dreaming, Jack.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11So my gran was hiding in my wardrobe?

0:05:11 > 0:05:13No! I'm preparing for my NASA entry test.

0:05:13 > 0:05:17Astronauts must endure extreme physical stress

0:05:17 > 0:05:19while solving complex mental problems.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Woah-woah. Back up a minute, Buzz Lightyear.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24- You're applying for a job at NASA? - I certainly am!

0:05:24 > 0:05:26OK, back a bit further. What's NASA?

0:05:26 > 0:05:30The National Aeronautics And Space Administration.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Back up more. What do any of those words mean?

0:05:32 > 0:05:36NASA runs America's space programme. You know about space, don't you?

0:05:36 > 0:05:39- You've got plenty between your ears. - Ah-ha-ha(!)

0:05:39 > 0:05:41It's a miracle you don't just laugh yourself into orbit.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Can you imagine being the first woman on Mars?

0:05:44 > 0:05:46No, I can't imagine being a woman full stop.

0:05:46 > 0:05:47Just stay out of my way.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Dani said I could use her den to practise for my DJ showcase.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Don't tell me, don't tell me.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Those sacks contain all the birthday presents you forgot to give me.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00- It's my fan mail. - You don't look very happy about it.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03My producer wants me to answer it all by tomorrow.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05I didn't realise getting this job would make me so popular!

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Isn't being popular a good thing?

0:06:07 > 0:06:11- Like you'd know, Professor No Mates. - Ah-ha-ha(!)

0:06:18 > 0:06:21- I'm Maximan.- And I'm Bentastic!

0:06:21 > 0:06:25Wherever there is injustice, we shall be there!

0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Oh, stop fidgeting.- It's these tights, they're cutting me in two.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32PINGS ELASTIC

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Ah... That got it.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44"Dear Dani, you're the most awesomest person I know

0:06:44 > 0:06:47"and I want to be just like you when I grow up."

0:06:47 > 0:06:49- They really think you're something special.- They don't know me!

0:06:49 > 0:06:51You better get used to it.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55- Being on TV means you're a role model now.- Well, better get started.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Don't want to let anyone down.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01It must be weird knowing all these people watch you on TV.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Yeah, it's really weird.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08WOLVES HOWL

0:07:08 > 0:07:13Day 20. My ascent of Mount Fan Mail proceeds slowly.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Our party has suffered casualties.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18It has been two days since Johnson left the tent

0:07:18 > 0:07:20to find his dropped pen.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22I fear he may be lost.

0:07:22 > 0:07:23HOWLING AND CRASHING

0:07:23 > 0:07:26What's that? Johnson, is that you?

0:07:29 > 0:07:33Rations are low. I'm down to my last packet of crisps.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40Eugh. Cheesy weasel flavour.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45What is that...?

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Huh! Avalanche!

0:07:57 > 0:08:00We look lush, but aren't superheroes supposed to have powers?

0:08:00 > 0:08:02The hulk was transformed by gamma rays.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05Spiderman was bitten by a radioactive spider.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Tadpole Boy drank a bucket of toxic frogspawn.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10Where are we going to find gamma rays or toxic frogspawn?

0:08:10 > 0:08:12I could try licking the microwave.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Hmm...that didn't work the last two times.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Anyway, what about Iron Man or Batman?

0:08:17 > 0:08:20They don't have powers, just cool gadgets.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23- We don't have gadgets either. - Check your utility belt.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Wicked! Nail clippers.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28And if I press this button here.

0:08:30 > 0:08:31Cutlery claws!

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Now I'm tooled up for any dining emergency.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35SOMEONE SCREAMS

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Hark! Somebody needs us!

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Stand back, citizens. We will handle this.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Max, get lost.

0:08:51 > 0:08:52How'd you know it was us?

0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Who else? - Why are you dressed like that?

0:08:54 > 0:08:58- Capes are very in this season. - What he means is...

0:08:58 > 0:08:59we're superheroes now.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02We heard a scream and came to help.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05I was screaming cos I'm stressed out. Being famous is such a hassle.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08Famous?! Just cos you're on some rubbish soap opera

0:09:08 > 0:09:09doesn't mean you're famous.

0:09:09 > 0:09:13Well, Dani's mountain of fan mail says otherwise.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17Fans?! Since when did you have fans?

0:09:17 > 0:09:20Dani's a role model now. She's a hero to millions.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23Fans. Fan mail. Famous. Pah!

0:09:23 > 0:09:24- Pah!- Peh!

0:09:24 > 0:09:27"Dear Dani, if I was even 10% as great as you

0:09:27 > 0:09:29"my life would be so much better."

0:09:29 > 0:09:33I almost can't bear to read another letter saying how amazing I am.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35All right, just one more then.

0:09:35 > 0:09:39"Dear, brilliant Dani. I wish I was as glamorous and talented as you."

0:09:39 > 0:09:42Oh, bless them. It is sweet how they'd like to be like me.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45You mean, like the sort of person they think you are.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Yeah...that.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Come, Bentastic. Let us go on patrol

0:09:50 > 0:09:54and prove to these losers what a real hero is!

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Swishy, swishy, swish.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01Allow us to assist you, citizen!

0:10:01 > 0:10:03We'll help you across the road!

0:10:03 > 0:10:04No need to thank us!

0:10:04 > 0:10:07But I don't want to cross the road!

0:10:14 > 0:10:15Oh, come to Mummy!

0:10:16 > 0:10:18How may we assist you, citizen?

0:10:18 > 0:10:21My cat won't come down from that tree!

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Leave it to us! Bentastic, call the cat.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26What shall I call it?

0:10:26 > 0:10:29- Beckon it down from the tree. - Oh, OK.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32CAT SCREECHES

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Argh! Arghhhhh! Arghhhhh!

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Phew!

0:10:39 > 0:10:41- Huh!- That was a close one!

0:10:48 > 0:10:51SHOPKEEPER: Stop, thief!

0:10:51 > 0:10:53A real felon! After him, Bentastic.

0:11:01 > 0:11:02CAR SPEEDS OFF

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Oh, he got away!

0:11:04 > 0:11:05We failed again.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Oh, no. I ripped my cape!

0:11:09 > 0:11:13Face it, Ben. We suck at being superheroes.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16We suck and blow at the same time.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17I thought being a hero would be easy.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20We should be the ones getting the fan mail, not Dani.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22It certainly isn't easy being a hero.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26You're right, Ben. Doing good deeds just isn't in my nature.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29That's it! We should be supervillains instead!

0:11:29 > 0:11:33Max, that's genius! May I pat you on the back?

0:11:33 > 0:11:34Erm...no.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Instead of trying to beat her at her own game,

0:11:37 > 0:11:40we spoil Dani's new-found fame. By being evil.

0:11:40 > 0:11:45Well, OK. But can I finish this cake first? It's chocolate.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49Hmm. Needs more sprinkles.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56HE CHOKES AND SPLUTTERS

0:11:57 > 0:11:59That was too many sprinkles.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Your evil persona definitely needs work.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13"Dear Dani, I thought you looked amazing

0:12:13 > 0:12:15"on McHurties the other night,

0:12:15 > 0:12:17"how can I get my hair as luscious as yours?"

0:12:17 > 0:12:21I'm so lucky to have such incredible fans.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24PHONE RINGS

0:12:25 > 0:12:26Hello, Dani speaking.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29Sweetie, it's Zarina. I have another task.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31It's not more fan mail, is it?

0:12:31 > 0:12:34A magazine has a competition for one lucky winner to go for dinner

0:12:34 > 0:12:38with their favourite member of The McHurties Hospital cast. Well?

0:12:38 > 0:12:40How would you like to meet your number one fan?

0:12:40 > 0:12:42- Are you kidding?- Does this face look like it's kidding?

0:12:42 > 0:12:45I have no idea, I can't see it.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46Listen, Zarina.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48It's one thing answering fan mail,

0:12:48 > 0:12:50but I'm not sure I'm ready to meet the fans.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Why not?- What if I'm a disappointment in person?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56All these girls seem to think I'm some sort of celebrity.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Darling, you're on television - a star.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00It's about time you acted like one.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Your fan will be there about half past five. She's expecting dinner.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06What? They're coming here...to my house?!

0:13:06 > 0:13:08- Is that a problem? - No! No, no. No problem.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Bye!

0:13:10 > 0:13:13Right, OK. You're a celebrity.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16And if this fan of mine wants to meet Dani the star in her

0:13:16 > 0:13:18swanky celeb hang out, then who am I to disappoint her?

0:13:18 > 0:13:21I am going to be the celebiest celeb ever.

0:13:25 > 0:13:30Oh! It's not fair! I want to meet Dani, I'm her number one fan.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35Forget Dani. How would you like to be the first-ever member

0:13:35 > 0:13:38of the Co-ordinator Zang fan club?

0:13:38 > 0:13:40Don't you have to be famous to have a fan club?

0:13:40 > 0:13:44- That's a technicality.- Look at the amazing free gifts you get.

0:13:45 > 0:13:49The Co-ordinator Zang T-shirt and hat combo.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52The monthly Co-ordinator Zang newsletter.

0:13:52 > 0:13:56This month's issue features ten things you never knew about me.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59And finally, the Coordinator Zang action figure.

0:13:59 > 0:14:03If you press this button, it says one of five Coordinator Zang phrases,

0:14:03 > 0:14:06so you can hear my wisdom wherever you go.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09GARBLED SPEECH

0:14:09 > 0:14:11Ha-ha!

0:14:11 > 0:14:14It sounds like the sort of noise you'd make!

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Stupid cheap rubbish!

0:14:16 > 0:14:19A-ha-ha!

0:14:22 > 0:14:25- We shall become evil. - We'll become so evil,

0:14:25 > 0:14:29we'll make lambs cry, just by dreaming about them.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33Maxman and Bentastic are gone for ever.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Say hello to...

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Maximum Destruction!

0:14:38 > 0:14:41And Fluffy Bunny Boy!

0:14:41 > 0:14:43Ben, we agreed, you're Benergiser.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45Do it again.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47Fine, sorry.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51And Benergiser!

0:14:51 > 0:14:53EVIL LAUGHS

0:14:57 > 0:14:59- Do you want a cup of tea? - Yeah, sure.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02Dani, we're...back...

0:15:02 > 0:15:04What's going on in here?

0:15:04 > 0:15:05Whoa...

0:15:06 > 0:15:08Sam! Jack! Darlings.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11She's cracked under the pressure of fame. I've heard about this.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Dani, what have you done?

0:15:14 > 0:15:16Come through to the den - I'll explain.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22Am I seeing things, or was that a dog she was carrying?

0:15:22 > 0:15:25Either that or she's got a new hound-bag.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28Hound-bag. You know? Handbag. D'you get that?

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Awful.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Fine.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36My number one fan is coming over for dinner.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39I want my entire entourage to be with me.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Your entourage? - Sammy-woo and Jacky-wack, hello?

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Are you referring to us?

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Dani, where are my decks?

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Yeah, where is my treadmill and my spacesuit?

0:15:48 > 0:15:51I put them away. I need this house to look like a trendy celebrity pad.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54I can't have your stuff cluttering up the place.

0:15:54 > 0:15:55DOG WHINES

0:15:55 > 0:15:57Look, guys, I need your help.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01Now that I'm famous, people expect me to act a certain way.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Pretending to be someone you're not?

0:16:03 > 0:16:05I CAN'T be me - I'd disappoint my fan.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08She'll be expecting some glamorous celebrity

0:16:08 > 0:16:10who lives a life of premieres and parties.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12Shouldn't you just be yourself?

0:16:12 > 0:16:15Yeah! We like you as you normally are. Your fan will, too.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Or take one look at me and think I'm a nobody.

0:16:20 > 0:16:21Behold us.

0:16:21 > 0:16:22What are you supposed to be?

0:16:22 > 0:16:26I'm Benergiser, the embodiment of ultimate evil.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28I'm Maximum Destruction!

0:16:28 > 0:16:33We're so evil, we make Voldemort look like a roll of lavatory tissue.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36Someone important's coming. I don't need anything embarrassing me -

0:16:36 > 0:16:38like super villains running round.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40- Sorry, Dani.- Evil!

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Sorry, Max. I mean...

0:16:42 > 0:16:44I'm not sorry, I'm evil!

0:16:44 > 0:16:48I'm so evil, I make the Green Goblin look like a pastry chef!

0:16:48 > 0:16:50I'm so evil...

0:16:50 > 0:16:51Yes, I get the idea.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Let's get out of here.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Watch yourself, Dani. You never know when we might strike.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58Ya! Ya!

0:16:58 > 0:17:01Having those two idiots running around is the last thing I need.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04Please, guys, just for tonight, help me be a star?

0:17:06 > 0:17:07OK.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11- But you'd better not have scratched my decks.- Or damaged my spacesuit.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13They're safe and sound. Aren't they, Vivienne?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22Remember, we're doing this for Dani.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25I'm doing this to get my decks back. This whole thing is stupid.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Smile!

0:17:27 > 0:17:28SHE SCREAMS

0:17:28 > 0:17:33Dani! Dani! Give me a D, give me an A, give me an N, give me an I!

0:17:33 > 0:17:37- Give me a pair of earplugs. - I'm Olivia, Dani's number one fan.

0:17:39 > 0:17:44- You're not Dani. Neither are you.- I wasn't the last time I looked, no.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46We're Dani's friends.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48You're Dani's friends?!

0:17:48 > 0:17:51SHE SCREAMS

0:17:51 > 0:17:52What is she like? Tell me.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55I can't believe you ACTUALLY know her. I can't believe I've met

0:17:55 > 0:17:58two people who are Dani's actual real friends.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00SHE SCREAMS

0:18:00 > 0:18:02We'll take you to meet her.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04SHE SCREAMS

0:18:04 > 0:18:08I can't believe I'm going to meet Dani! I love Dani so much,

0:18:08 > 0:18:10I'm just a Dani freak!

0:18:10 > 0:18:13- Excited to meet Dani? - She needs a tranquiliser dart.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15Down there, straight to your left.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20So Dani's fan has come to dinner.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22You know what this means, don't you, Ben?

0:18:22 > 0:18:25It's going to be a white Christmas this year?

0:18:25 > 0:18:29It means we have a way to strike our arch-enemy where it hurts her most!

0:18:29 > 0:18:31The sternum?

0:18:31 > 0:18:32Her fan base.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35Sounds painful.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Oh, we're going to win big at the Super Villain Awards this year.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41We're going to win real big.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49And the award for the most evil villain of the year goes to...

0:18:53 > 0:18:54Benergiser!

0:18:54 > 0:18:57What?!

0:18:57 > 0:18:58It's a fix!

0:18:58 > 0:19:02Wow! There are so many people I want to thank.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06But firstly, everyone at the Legion of Ultimate Evil,

0:19:06 > 0:19:09especially Captain Rancid and the Living Bum.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10HE BREAKS DOWN

0:19:10 > 0:19:11I'm sorry!

0:19:11 > 0:19:15My local evil ice-cream man, Billy Whippy.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18My Aunty Peg and Uncle Paddy.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22My pet evil axolotl, Mr Stinky.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25Get on with it!

0:19:25 > 0:19:29Jimmy Suds, who does such a good job of cleaning the evil windows

0:19:29 > 0:19:31in my secret volcano base of evil.

0:19:31 > 0:19:32Boo!

0:19:32 > 0:19:35JEERING

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Hey! No rotten veg!

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Tomatoes are a fruit, you ninny!

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Dani, this is Olivia.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Is it really you?

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Are you real? Can I hug you?

0:20:02 > 0:20:06I'm as real as it gets. But I'd rather you didn't touch me.

0:20:06 > 0:20:10Of course I can't touch you. I'm a complete plum for thinking I could.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12You look so amazing, though.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14I always look this way.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

0:20:17 > 0:20:19You're the most beautiful, most talented,

0:20:19 > 0:20:22most brilliant person on Earth, Dani.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25I guess some people are just born with it.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30(I've no choice! It's my job.)

0:20:34 > 0:20:36Lovely little dog, yes!

0:20:38 > 0:20:42Sam is my personal beautician. She comes with me wherever I go.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45I think it's important to keep someone on hand at all times

0:20:45 > 0:20:48to ensure I stay looking naturally radiant.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Wow. I doubt I could ever look as lovely as you do.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53Of course you could.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57What sort of make-up do you use to keep Dani looking so glamorous?

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Er...

0:20:59 > 0:21:01It's a magic cream! Isn't it, Sam?

0:21:01 > 0:21:04And it's only available to special famous people like me.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07So what do you like to do in your spare time?

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Well, I'm so completely intellectual,

0:21:10 > 0:21:12- I read at least five books a year.- Wow.

0:21:12 > 0:21:13I wish I could be like you.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16What advice would you give to a little person like me?

0:21:16 > 0:21:18You're not a little...

0:21:18 > 0:21:19Ssh!

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Dani is talking.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25The best advice is that talent can't be learnt. It's in the genes.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27- Oh.- Sure that's the advice

0:21:27 > 0:21:30you should give someone who looks up to you?

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Be quiet...Samantha!

0:21:32 > 0:21:36Only, I really want to be a successful actor one day like you.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39I'd love to think that I had a chance.

0:21:39 > 0:21:40Dinner is served.

0:21:42 > 0:21:43Thank you!

0:21:43 > 0:21:46So what's this?

0:21:46 > 0:21:48Seared fillet of peacock with a pomegranate jelly.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51It's what I always have for dinner, isn't it?

0:21:51 > 0:21:53It's what celebrities eat.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Great! I can't wait to try the sort of food you like.

0:22:02 > 0:22:03It's lovely, Dani.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- What IS this muck?- This muck is exactly what you told me to make.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08D'you know how much trouble I had

0:22:08 > 0:22:11finding a supermarket that sold peacock fillets?

0:22:11 > 0:22:14Argh! What's going on?

0:22:14 > 0:22:18- We're trapped in a net. - Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

0:22:18 > 0:22:22Aha! Benergiser and Maximum Destruction strike again!

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Max, get this thing off me.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Never! Not until your so-called fan

0:22:27 > 0:22:29agrees to pay the ransom of £5 million!

0:22:29 > 0:22:32No, £5 BILLION!

0:22:32 > 0:22:36£5 million billion zillion billi-lilli-zillion!

0:22:36 > 0:22:38I don't have that sort of money!

0:22:38 > 0:22:40Nobody does - it's not even a number.

0:22:40 > 0:22:44Then I have no choice but to use my patented spray-paint-atron.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47When the countdown hits zero,

0:22:47 > 0:22:52the device will explode, showering you and this entire room in paint.

0:22:52 > 0:22:53It in't just ANY paint.

0:22:53 > 0:22:54It's BLUE paint.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57- Blue is for boys. - Max, why are you doing this?

0:22:57 > 0:23:00When she sees her idol covered in paint,

0:23:00 > 0:23:03her air of mystique will be evaporated.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Dani will be revealed as the ordinary,

0:23:06 > 0:23:08plain, boring girl she really is.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11That won't matter if you get paint on the walls,

0:23:11 > 0:23:14- cos Mum and Dad will kill us both. - I didn't think of that.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17- You still live with your mum and dad?- Um...no!

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Max! This is outrageous.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Do you not know who I am? I am Dani,

0:23:22 > 0:23:25and in the last couple of days alone,

0:23:25 > 0:23:29I have received precisely 976 letters from my adoring fans.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31- Um...fan.- What?

0:23:31 > 0:23:32I wrote all those letters.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34All of them?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Took me ages. Told you I'm your number one fan, Dani.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41- So Dani isn't a role model to millions of girls after all?- Nope.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43Looks like it's just me.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Ben, help me to stop the Spray-paint-atron quick!

0:23:46 > 0:23:49But you CAN'T stop it. You built it without an off button.

0:23:49 > 0:23:50Just throw it out the window.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Once activated, the device has a motion sensor.

0:23:53 > 0:23:54Moving it will set it off.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Throw something over the top of it!

0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Like what?- Like Ben!

0:23:58 > 0:24:00No time, only five seconds left!

0:24:00 > 0:24:02- 4... 3...- 2...

0:24:02 > 0:24:04- I'll save you, Dani!- ..1!

0:24:04 > 0:24:06BEEPING

0:24:13 > 0:24:16- Why did you do that?- Well, I couldn't let DANI get covered in paint.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18She's my hero.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21Olivia, you've got to stop with this hero-worship stuff.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24I'm not the glamorous celeb you think I am.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26I don't understand.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29Look, I'm just an ordinary girl that happens to be on the TV.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33The clothes, the hair, the dog, it was just to impress you.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35But I wanted to impress YOU.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Why would you want to impress me?

0:24:37 > 0:24:39I didn't want to disappoint you.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42You're not that different to me after all.

0:24:43 > 0:24:44Thank goodness for that!

0:24:44 > 0:24:47- You don't mind?- Of course not!

0:24:47 > 0:24:49That's a lot to live up to.

0:24:49 > 0:24:50Look, you saved us all.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52If anyone's a hero, it's you.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Can I have that hug now?

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Come on.

0:24:56 > 0:25:00- Aw.- We suck at being villains as well as heroes, Max.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Quiet, Ben.

0:25:02 > 0:25:03Max, wait!

0:25:04 > 0:25:06Max, wait!

0:25:06 > 0:25:07RIP!

0:25:11 > 0:25:13Well, that's me and the den back to rights.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16Admit it, you LOVED thinking you had

0:25:16 > 0:25:19- thousands of fans who thought you were amazing.- A bit.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21If you ever think fame has changed me for the worse,

0:25:21 > 0:25:22you know what to do.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26Yeah. We'll put that video of you dancing online.

0:25:26 > 0:25:30Your skirt falls down, you trip over it and fall into a fountain?

0:25:30 > 0:25:31Don't you dare!

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Oh, decks, how I've missed you!

0:25:34 > 0:25:37And I'd better get back to my NASA revision.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41Help me! Don't just stand there!

0:25:41 > 0:25:44Come on, don't give up on me!

0:25:44 > 0:25:45One day, Dani.

0:25:45 > 0:25:51One day soon I shall have the victory that has long been denied to me.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53I know we've stopped being super villains now,

0:25:53 > 0:25:56but the fashions have a lot going for them. What do you think?

0:25:56 > 0:25:59I think you look ridiculous.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Wait a minute - are those MY pants?

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Er...no...

0:26:03 > 0:26:05Take them off this instant.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07RIP!

0:26:08 > 0:26:09Ugh!

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Ugh!

0:26:15 > 0:26:18Thanks for letting me borrow your clothes, Dani.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20Least I could do. Hey, I was thinking.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22Why not hang out with us for a bit?

0:26:22 > 0:26:25- I was going to watch a DVD and order pizza.- Seriously?

0:26:25 > 0:26:29I watch DVDs and order pizzas with MY friends, too.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Turns out we really are quite similar.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33I'm just an ordinary girl like you.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35I like that.

0:26:35 > 0:26:42Pi is approximately equal to 3.141593 in a decimal notation.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Your friends are a bit weird, though.- Tell me about it!

0:26:50 > 0:26:53That was a good episode, wasn't it?

0:26:53 > 0:26:54Yes, it was.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56Who's Daddy's favourite boy?

0:26:56 > 0:27:00You won't believe this, but your biggest fan's here!

0:27:00 > 0:27:03My fan? Can I meet them?

0:27:03 > 0:27:04Stay right there.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Co-ordinator, meet your biggest fan.

0:27:11 > 0:27:12Hilarious(!)

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Turn it off! Turn it off!

0:27:19 > 0:27:21I can't! The switch is stuck!

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Argh!

0:27:26 > 0:27:27Call a space ambulance.

0:27:27 > 0:27:30I think I've broken my bottom bone.

0:27:31 > 0:27:37# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

0:27:37 > 0:27:38# Let's lift these chains

0:27:38 > 0:27:45# Let's rock this wave right out to sea... #

0:27:45 > 0:27:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:47 > 0:27:50Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk