Pen Pal

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0:00:01 > 0:00:04ELECTRONIC BEEPS

0:00:05 > 0:00:07Are you writing to your pen pal again?

0:00:07 > 0:00:10Guess what, he's invited me over for dinner.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13You can't go over to his place, that's totally irresponsible.

0:00:13 > 0:00:16Look, I know you're jealous,

0:00:16 > 0:00:19but there's room in my life for both you and my pen pal.

0:00:19 > 0:00:23I'm not jealous, I'm worried about you meeting strangers online.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25What do you know about him? What's his name?

0:00:25 > 0:00:28Ming The Merciless, Emperor Of The Evil Empire,

0:00:28 > 0:00:31but I think that's just his user name.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Right. And where's he from?

0:00:34 > 0:00:37The planet Zanat.

0:00:37 > 0:00:41Zanat! The Zanat who prey on our species?

0:00:41 > 0:00:44The Zanat who declared war on us three times last year?

0:00:44 > 0:00:47The Zanats who like to eat us as a snack?

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Ming's not like that.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52Did he invite you over to eat dinner,

0:00:52 > 0:00:54or did he invite you over to BE dinner?

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Promise me you won't meet up with him?

0:00:57 > 0:01:01OK, all right, going over there for dinner is a terrible idea.

0:01:01 > 0:01:05Plus, to catch a space bus to planet Zanat

0:01:05 > 0:01:10would mean I'd miss Dani's House, and no pen pal is worth that!

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Hey, guys, my name's Dani and this...

0:01:14 > 0:01:17- Is her best friend, Jack. - Thanks. My name's Dani and this...

0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Is her brother, Max. - And his best friend, Ben.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22As I was saying, my name's Dani and this...

0:01:22 > 0:01:26- Is her friend, Ruby. - And I'm her sister, Masie.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28And I'm Dani, and this is the brilliant...

0:01:28 > 0:01:30ARGUING

0:01:30 > 0:01:32WHISTLE BLOWS

0:01:32 > 0:01:35LAUGHTER

0:01:38 > 0:01:40Oh, no.

0:01:40 > 0:01:45Ohayou gozaimasu? Say sayonara, because I'm going to Japan.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48That's nice, but can we focus on the real drama?

0:01:48 > 0:01:52In my latest script, my character has to confront Nurse Thorne

0:01:52 > 0:01:55and challenge her to a sword fighting duel.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57So you get your very first stunt double, right?

0:01:57 > 0:02:02No, I won't get a stunt double, I lied on my CV.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04- Said I was a fencing expert. - Why would you do that?

0:02:04 > 0:02:07A white lie. I also said I could ride circus horses,

0:02:07 > 0:02:09play the lute and speak fluent Latin.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11I've told you lying is a bad idea.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14If I hadn't, I wouldn't have got the part.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Swords are sharp, you'll get hurt. - Remind me why you're here again?

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Check it out.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25My mum joined this gap year website and totally hooked me up.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27I met a Japanese guy called Kashuro.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30I'm going to try and get an invite and go and stay with him.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33That's a bit risky, you don't know anything about him.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35I know he lives on the ski slopes of Mount Fuji.

0:02:35 > 0:02:39Just think, a snow pass, free accommodation and a paid job

0:02:39 > 0:02:41working the lifts and that's not all.

0:02:41 > 0:02:45His brother is the one and only Isiguru Shakatoki.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48- I've no idea who that is. - The World Champion snow boarder?

0:02:48 > 0:02:52If this comes off, Ishiguru's going teach me how to snow board.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- What's the catch?- No catch, when we've become besties,

0:02:55 > 0:02:58he'll invite me to come and stay with him in Japan.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Konnichiha, dude. That's Japanese.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04I'm hanging at my mate's place.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07I've got a recipe for ginger cookie surprise.

0:03:07 > 0:03:11What? Don't say you're baking, say something interesting.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15I'll tell him about taking a tour of the Dotty Doughnut factor last week?

0:03:15 > 0:03:18You think that's going to impress him? Say you go underwater caving,

0:03:18 > 0:03:20or you're sending this e-mail

0:03:20 > 0:03:22- while dangling from a hang glider? - No! You might

0:03:22 > 0:03:25lie about fencing to bump up your application but I'm not going to.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29But that's how I landed the part. A few white lies opens doors.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Dishonesty is frowned upon in Japanese culture.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Speaking of Japanese culture, I've got a craving for pizza.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42I wish Jack would let me help him seem more exciting.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45A good friend wouldn't rest until Jack's trip to Japan was a reality

0:03:45 > 0:03:47and I am a very good friend.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49'Dear Koshiro,

0:03:49 > 0:03:53'so much to tell you about my windswept dare-devil lifestyle.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55'Where do I begin?'

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Max, you can do this, think positive. You're where?

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Waiting outside the fitting rooms?

0:04:12 > 0:04:15I don't know, tell her she looks good, or something.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19Make something up, be nice, we need Katy to like you.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22I don't understand. Max on a date with an actual girl?

0:04:22 > 0:04:25Katie Pepper. Her dad's Tommy Pepper,

0:04:25 > 0:04:28the famous record producer. The guy who turned down Lady GaGa.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32She promised to give her dad our demo CD if Max goes on a date with her.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35- She's taking him clothes shopping. - Ouch! That must be torture for Max.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38MOBILE

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Hello? Sorry, he's not here. Can I take a message?

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Yep, uh-huh, OK, bye.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51That was Katy Pepper. She said she can't make the date today

0:04:51 > 0:04:54because Justin Bieber invited her to his pool party.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56Then who is Max out shopping with?

0:04:56 > 0:05:00Some other girl called Katy. Young love can be so complicated.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03I've got to warn Max.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06Max, if you get this voicemail, you are out with the wrong Katy.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Abort the date, abort immediately!

0:05:08 > 0:05:10DOORBELL CHIMES

0:05:10 > 0:05:14Thank goodness you're here, someone to practise my fencing on.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17The book from the library is actually how to install

0:05:17 > 0:05:20a chicken wire fence, nothing to do with sword fighting!

0:05:20 > 0:05:23- Prepare to die! - Sorry, Dani, I don't have time.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25What are you doing, baking more cookies?

0:05:25 > 0:05:28No, you'll never guess. Kashuro is coming to visit.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Here? He's coming here?

0:05:30 > 0:05:33I thought you were the one who was meant to visit him in Japan?

0:05:33 > 0:05:37He's got a stop over on his way to the Dusseldorf mung bean festival.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41- He suggested we meet up and I invited him here.- You can't!

0:05:41 > 0:05:45If I host him here, he'll feel obliged to return the hospitality

0:05:45 > 0:05:48- on the ski slopes at Mount Fuji. - Tell me this isn't happening!

0:05:48 > 0:05:51I was worried this was going to happen. Just because I've got an

0:05:51 > 0:05:55exciting new friend that doesn't mean you can't still be my friend.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57Yeah, You're a little bit less interesting...

0:05:57 > 0:06:01It's not about that, you pumpkin, I've got something to tell you.

0:06:01 > 0:06:05- I've been writing to Kashuro pretending to be you.- What? When?

0:06:05 > 0:06:08Once or twice a day, for the last seven days.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11You hijacked my log in and e-mailed Kashuro?

0:06:11 > 0:06:15I was trying to make you seem more exciting, bump up your application.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19- What did you say?- That you had a black belt in Karate.- That's cool.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23- You've a little puppy.- I love dogs. - You are Lord Jackson Appleby.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26You live in a castle with many servants and once wrestled a tiger.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30- Are you crazy?- I panicked. Kashuro mentioned a Canadian pen pal.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32As soon as I realised you had competition...

0:06:32 > 0:06:35What? He's been e-mailing other pen pals?

0:06:35 > 0:06:39That's why I had to give you a castle. You need to make sure

0:06:39 > 0:06:42- you're the one he chooses. - The one who gets to stay for free

0:06:42 > 0:06:44MOBILE RINGS

0:06:44 > 0:06:48That's Kashuro. He got an earlier plane, he landed and he's on his way.

0:06:48 > 0:06:53Wow! That was really fast. Normally you get held up at check in.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02Next, please! Good afternoon, sir, and welcome to Air Cheapo.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05We keep our prices like we fly our planes, so low it's scary!

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Have you got any baggage to check in?

0:07:08 > 0:07:09Sent it on ahead.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Very wise, we'd only lose it! Do you have your ticket?

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Sent it on ahead.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Very organised. Now all I need is your passport.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Sent it on ahead.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21In that case, have a good flight, sir.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28Er, where's the plane?

0:07:28 > 0:07:30Sent it on ahead!

0:07:33 > 0:07:37Kashuro's on his way over. What am I going to do?

0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Pretend to be Lord Appleby, How long is he staying?- 24 hours.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44With jetlag and sight seeing, that's more like four hours.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46- This is do-able, trust me. - I don't have much of a choice!

0:07:46 > 0:07:50- I'll have to be Lord Apppleby's brother, Hugo.- I have a brother?

0:07:50 > 0:07:53When your mum died in the plane crash you discovered your

0:07:53 > 0:07:56half-brother living in the attic. Caring for him is the only thing

0:07:56 > 0:08:00- that kept you sane. - I'm changing my password.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03- Doughnut?- Ah, I'm changing it again.

0:08:03 > 0:08:07- Doughnuts? Again!- Ketchup? - Are you psychic?

0:08:11 > 0:08:16Hurry up, Kashuro's going to be here any minute!

0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Voila!- You might want to cut back on

0:08:19 > 0:08:23the girly twirls and French, you're supposed to be a Lord?

0:08:23 > 0:08:24That's better.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26DOORBELL CHIMES

0:08:26 > 0:08:28That's him, let me do all the talking.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32- No chance! That got us in this mess in the first place.- Jack!

0:08:32 > 0:08:33DOORBELL

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Jack!

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Bonjour, gozaimasu. Welcome to England.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43Very pleased to meet you, Lord Appleby. I looked for your car

0:08:43 > 0:08:46picking me up from the airport but I couldn't find it.

0:08:48 > 0:08:52Er, I gave the chauffeur the day off, it's his sister's wedding.

0:08:52 > 0:08:56- This is my brother, Lord...- Hugo!

0:08:56 > 0:08:59Pleased to meet you, Lord Hugo.

0:08:59 > 0:09:03This must be the brother you rescued from the tiger?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Yes, the tiger.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07I'm lucky to be alive.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10Can I see your scars?

0:09:10 > 0:09:11Maybe later.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Are you wearing lipstick?

0:09:14 > 0:09:17Yes. What if I am?

0:09:20 > 0:09:24Ha-ha! Come in.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26I have to say, your English is really impressive.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Dmo arigat. I watch a lot of TV.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31What's it like living on Mount Fuji?

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Do you get to spend a lot of time with Ishiguru?

0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Who?- Your brother, the champion snowboarder?

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Oh, we call him Ihsi!

0:09:39 > 0:09:44I'll never get used to having a famous brother.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47So where can I put my back pack?

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Are we travelling to your castle in the Higlands now or later?

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Sorry, my castle's out of bounds. They're having it refurbished.

0:09:54 > 0:09:58What a shame, it looked amazing in the photo you sent me.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02Wow, can't believe I went to the trouble of sending you a photograph!

0:10:02 > 0:10:05It's good you gave attention to the proper details.

0:10:05 > 0:10:09It's an amazing castle, how long has it been in your family?

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Enough about me, let's get you settled.

0:10:11 > 0:10:15Lord Appleby, sir, I wouldn't expect you to wait on me.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Surely your robot butler deals with the luggage?

0:10:17 > 0:10:21My what? Robot butler?

0:10:21 > 0:10:25Of course! Zappo, your robot butler. I completely forgot.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27How could you forget about a robot butler?

0:10:27 > 0:10:28Yeah, how could you?

0:10:29 > 0:10:31I mean, I've left him on charge.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35What are you waiting for? Go get your robot butler!

0:10:40 > 0:10:42My non-existent robot butler is on the charger?

0:10:42 > 0:10:44What was I supposed to say?

0:10:44 > 0:10:48How about, my robot butler is at the mender's? Fell down a well?

0:10:48 > 0:10:53- Sold it to the princess of Greece? - What's with this?- I don't do that.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56You do. Every time you lie. Stop, you're going to give us away.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59Me? I'm not the one who made up a robot butler!

0:10:59 > 0:11:01- Where am I meant to come up with a Zappo?- Think,

0:11:01 > 0:11:04where are we going to find someone gullible and gormless enough

0:11:04 > 0:11:07to pull off a convincing robot butler?

0:11:09 > 0:11:11What?

0:11:14 > 0:11:20- ROBOTIC VOICE: - I am Zappo. Zappo is pleased to meet you. Konnichiwa. Konnichiwa.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24Impressive. He can even speak Japanese!

0:11:24 > 0:11:26No! Just, er, konnichiwa.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30Maybe he should be less formal. Time to adjust the settings.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Ow! I thought you said I only had to make an appearance?

0:11:35 > 0:11:39- You said it would only take five minutes.- Zip it, Zappo.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42Welcome to our home.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Amazing! Are those nose hairs?

0:11:44 > 0:11:50He's so realistic, yet with the same vacant stare of a dumb machine.

0:11:50 > 0:11:55- Hey!- He's the deluxe model. Seeing as he doesn't have any human

0:11:55 > 0:11:58instincts or emotions, you can ask him to do whatever you want

0:11:58 > 0:12:00and he won't get upset.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Anything?- Almost anything.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06- I'd love to see him tap dance.- Uh?

0:12:06 > 0:12:08Dance, Zappo.

0:12:10 > 0:12:13Faster, Zappo, faster!

0:12:14 > 0:12:17I think we need the tap dancing upgrade.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Bravo! If only my father were here, he'd love to meet Zappo.

0:12:21 > 0:12:22Does he like tap dance?

0:12:22 > 0:12:26He's very high up in a Japanese entertainment company.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29Wow, you've got such an exciting family.

0:12:29 > 0:12:33Dad would pay millions to sign up a dancing, singing, juggling robot.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37When you say it out loud like that, sounds almost believable.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40- He would be huge in Japan.- Really?

0:12:40 > 0:12:44Maybe you should take Kashuro to see the sights, Lord Appleby.

0:12:44 > 0:12:45- All by myself?- Yes.

0:12:45 > 0:12:49Take the time to get to know each other, so I can work on my fencing.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52Wow! You fence? I would love to see a demonstration.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54So would I. I'll get the door.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Perhaps you could show me where

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Lady Appleby was buried in Westminster Cathedral?

0:12:59 > 0:13:03- Or, instead, we could go go-karting! - That sounds fun, too. Are you sure

0:13:03 > 0:13:07we don't need a bodyguard to help us avoid the paparazzi?

0:13:07 > 0:13:11I wouldn't worry about the paparazzi, I'm a very obscure lord.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13Don't hurry back!

0:13:18 > 0:13:20- The mail is here.- Ah!

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Oops! Sorry, none for you today.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25What could this be?

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Oh, look, it's from my brand new pen pal.

0:13:32 > 0:13:36See, I've got one now, my pen pal is so thoughtful.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38What's this?

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Oh, chocolate caramels, yum!

0:13:43 > 0:13:47Cork Matzo is the best pen pal ever.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Cork Matzo, the famous author?

0:13:49 > 0:13:52That's right, he's my pen pal.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Cork Matzo who won the Placa Prize for literature?

0:13:55 > 0:13:58His letters resonate like a heavenly symphony.

0:13:58 > 0:14:02Cork Matzo who died last year in a freak asteroid accident?

0:14:02 > 0:14:04He did?

0:14:06 > 0:14:10OK, OK. I made up a pen pal to impress you.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15I can't believe Cork Matzo's really dead.

0:14:15 > 0:14:19He isn't, I made it up to catch you out! Ha-ha-ha!

0:14:24 > 0:14:26Max, you don't understand.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29There's something you need to know about your date, Katy. Max! Max!

0:14:29 > 0:14:33- No luck?- Max has turned his phone off to go into the cinema.

0:14:33 > 0:14:37- She suggested they watch a chick flick.- Max won't like that!

0:14:37 > 0:14:41I've got to get to the cinema and tell Max he's with the wrong girl.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43You'll have to get another Zappo.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45All I have to do is call Katy Pepper

0:14:45 > 0:14:47and your demo CD will never make it to her dad.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Wow! I had no idea you could be so mean.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53Please, Ben, you're the best Zappo ever,

0:14:53 > 0:14:56it's truly a magnificent performance.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58Well, at first it was hard to get into character,

0:14:58 > 0:15:02but after I found Zappo's motivation it just came naturally.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04Better go practise my tap dancing.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06En garde!

0:15:19 > 0:15:21I thought you two were out.

0:15:21 > 0:15:25Kashuro thought it would be nice to invite Lord Hugo go-karting

0:15:25 > 0:15:28considering he's just recovered from the tiger attack.

0:15:28 > 0:15:32Wait a minute, you're not Lord Hugo, yet you look exactly like him.

0:15:32 > 0:15:33I see what is going on here.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35I can explain.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38- That's right, they're twins! - Sorry, what?

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Kashuro, meet Lady Jennifer.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Lord Hugo's twin sister.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Mmm.- Delighted to meet you.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49You never mentioned a sister in your e-mails.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Yeah, that is because I'm ashamed of her.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55- But why?- You're ashamed of me?

0:15:55 > 0:15:59Yeah. Look at her, she has no idea how to fence.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02Quite frankly, it's embarrassing. Is that an umbrella?

0:16:02 > 0:16:05Interesting, Lord Hugo has the same hobby?

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Hugo's a lot better than me.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10So how come I didn't meet you earlier?

0:16:11 > 0:16:16Because I was away, in Antarctica, studying polar bears.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19- I've just got back. - Wow, what an interesting family.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23- Would you like to join us go-karting?- Sure, why not?

0:16:23 > 0:16:25I'll just go ask Lord Hugo to join us, too. Lord Hugo!

0:16:25 > 0:16:29- Er, Hugo can't come.- Why not?

0:16:29 > 0:16:32Well, see, it's actually

0:16:32 > 0:16:36a really, really funny story. Jennifer, fill him in.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41It's a family feud.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45Hugo and I hate each other. We never speak.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49It all started when our mother was killed in the car crash.

0:16:49 > 0:16:50I thought it was a plane crash?

0:16:50 > 0:16:55It was. The plane crashed into the car.

0:16:55 > 0:16:59We argued, we even fought a duel.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01That's tragic, in Japan family is everything.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04You and Lord Hugo have a duty to make up.

0:17:04 > 0:17:08- You must sit down together, fact to face.- Not going to happen!

0:17:08 > 0:17:12Lady Jennifer, if only you could see how alike you and Lord Hugo are.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Same looks, same voice, same mannerisms,

0:17:15 > 0:17:18same weak handshake, even same lipstick.

0:17:20 > 0:17:21We get that a lot.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25Appleby, go get Lord Hugo, get these kids talking again.

0:17:25 > 0:17:31OK, I'll just go to the bedroom to get Hugo.

0:17:33 > 0:17:34Off I go!

0:17:34 > 0:17:39I promise I'll do everything I can to help fix this family rift.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Thank you. Busting for the loo!

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Back in a sec!

0:17:50 > 0:17:53Are you deliberately trying to blow this operation?

0:17:53 > 0:17:56Why did you take your Hugo costume off?

0:17:56 > 0:17:58It was itchy and you weren't supposed to be back so soon.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01I am this close to an awesome Japanese skiing experience.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05I got you into this mess and I am going to lie through my teeth

0:18:05 > 0:18:07until I get you out of it. OK?

0:18:07 > 0:18:10OK, sorry I got mad. Pressure got to me.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13The last thing I need is to end up in Japan with no friends

0:18:13 > 0:18:15and no way home, I'd be stranded!

0:18:19 > 0:18:25Day 189, no sign of a rescue team. All hope is lost.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37Pardon me,

0:18:37 > 0:18:40did you write this SOS message in a bottle asking to be saved?

0:18:43 > 0:18:45No...that's not my hand writing.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49It could belong to the shipwreck survivor on the next but one island.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52Oh! Well, thanks for your help. Sorry to disturb you.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Enjoy your evening, yeah?

0:18:54 > 0:18:55Any time.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02You wanted to see me.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06Ah, Hugo. I'd love to help you and Jennifer become friends, once again.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Where is Jennifer?

0:19:10 > 0:19:12Where is she?

0:19:12 > 0:19:14- TOGETHER:- Taking a nap.- Antarctica.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17..on her way to Antarctica.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20I find that hard to believe, she just went to the toilet.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21If I didn't know any better,

0:19:21 > 0:19:26I would say you both were trying to avoid this reunion.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Here is your fizzy water...huh!

0:19:30 > 0:19:34- Zappo is sorry.- The robot has made a mistake, how is this possible?

0:19:34 > 0:19:36I'm not even allowed to make a mistake?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38How can I handle this kind of pressure?

0:19:38 > 0:19:42It's not natural, I've got real feelings and emotions.

0:19:42 > 0:19:43I am not made of metal!

0:19:43 > 0:19:48Well, that over-sensitive drama queen upgrade really works!

0:19:48 > 0:19:49Won't be a minute!

0:19:51 > 0:19:53We're not always like this.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Max! Max! Max!

0:19:59 > 0:20:01What it is with the outburst, you're supposed be a robot!

0:20:01 > 0:20:05I won't continue this. Max just called, he's at the theme-park.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Before I could say he's with the wrong girl,

0:20:07 > 0:20:08he switched off his phone.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11Because they were about to enter the Tunnel Of Love.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Max in the Tunnel Of Love?

0:20:14 > 0:20:18- Can I come in? Perhaps I could help. - Now's not really a good time.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21Have you tried turning him off and on again?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24- Where do you keep the batteries? - I don't want to be a robot any more!

0:20:24 > 0:20:27I don't like serving drinks and I refuse to dance - leave me alone!

0:20:27 > 0:20:29This is serious,

0:20:29 > 0:20:32a malfunctioning robot like Zappo could wreak havoc.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Yes, you should probably get to safety

0:20:35 > 0:20:38while I figure out how to reset him.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Please, please, please, Ben. We really need your help.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44Just forget about Tommy Pepper and his daughter.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47If you just be Zappo for a little longer,

0:20:47 > 0:20:49you can interview Kashuro's dad.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52- You could do that?- I've got Kashuro eating out of my hand.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56- He believes anything I say. - Zappo is at your service.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04BURP Oh, yes.

0:21:07 > 0:21:11- What are you doing? - I need a sugar hit.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14I can't eat in front of Kashuro. Posh people don't eat doughnuts.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Come on! I've reset Zappo but I'm not sure how long it will last.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19We need to get rid of Kashuro.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22We can't get rid of him until he invites me to Japan.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25- How's that going?- I keep hinting but I don't think he likes me.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Come on, you're a lord, what's not to like?

0:21:29 > 0:21:30PHONE RINGS

0:21:30 > 0:21:34Max? Thank goodness. I've been trying to reach you all day.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36What do you mean you're in the hospital?

0:21:36 > 0:21:40A mishap in the Tunnel Of Love. Should you be using a mobile?

0:21:40 > 0:21:43Doesn't it interfere with equipment or something? Max?

0:21:43 > 0:21:46Max, are you there? Max?

0:21:50 > 0:21:53Look at the time. Shouldn't you be getting ready to go to the airport?

0:21:53 > 0:21:57- Beat the queues, check in early. - My flight isn't for hours.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01- Lord Appleby, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.- Yes, yes.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03I'd love to come and stay with you in Japan.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05That wasn't what I was going to say.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08I was wondering if you could arrange for me to meet the Queen.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11I'd love to go to Buckingham Palace.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14I know, why don't we watch the TV

0:22:14 > 0:22:18so we don't have to talk to each other and say things we'll regret.

0:22:18 > 0:22:23- Is Doctor Who starting? - Do you get that in Japan?- Sure.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27# McHurties Hospital. #

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Hello, McHurties Hospital.

0:22:33 > 0:22:37- It's not what it looks like. - We can explain.- What is going on?

0:22:37 > 0:22:41I'm really sorry, I never meant to lie to you. It was her idea.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43I only lied to make him seem more interesting.

0:22:43 > 0:22:47- What are you talking about? - I'm not a lord.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50I don't own a castle, I don't know karate.

0:22:50 > 0:22:51I've never even wrestled a tiger.

0:22:53 > 0:22:58- She's not Hugo.- She's Jennifer. - There is no Jennifer.

0:22:58 > 0:22:59I'm not following.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02Look, all I wanted was to stay with you in Japan,

0:23:02 > 0:23:04land the job and the snowboarding lessons.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06We lied to impress you.

0:23:06 > 0:23:11But lying is evil and I swear I will never tell a single lie ever again.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15OK, maybe the odd one here and there.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18I don't understand, why are you telling me all of this?

0:23:18 > 0:23:20You didn't just see Dani on the television?

0:23:20 > 0:23:24I'm a television actress. I'm Nurse Ward Magnet.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26That soap is my show.

0:23:26 > 0:23:30I wasn't paying any attention, I hate stupid soap operas.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Hey! It's not stupid.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35Well, it is a little bit stupid.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Wait a minute, so we confessed for no reason?

0:23:37 > 0:23:40All this time I felt unworthy hanging out with you.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Like there was no way a lord would ever be my friend.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44That's the last thing I wanted.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47As soon as you mentioned your Canadian pen pal we felt insecure.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Lying just seemed like a good solution.- That's crazy!

0:23:50 > 0:23:54- Since I made up the Canadian pen pal.- You made him up?

0:23:54 > 0:23:56I wanted you to think I was popular.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59To be honest, I lied about quite a lot of things.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02You lied? Isn't that frowned upon in Japanese culture?

0:24:02 > 0:24:06My dad's not a big shot in the Japanese entertainment industry.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08There's no tap-dancing deal for Zappo.

0:24:08 > 0:24:12Well, deep down I think we all knew that wasn't going to happen.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14Plus, my brother isn't Ishiguro Shakakoti.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17I can't get you a job on the ski slopes.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Ouch.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21I guess when you meet someone online...

0:24:21 > 0:24:23you don't know who you're talking to.

0:24:23 > 0:24:24I suppose I lied to you

0:24:24 > 0:24:27because I didn't want you to think I was boring.

0:24:27 > 0:24:30Who wants to know about my ginger cookie surprise recipe?

0:24:30 > 0:24:33Wow. You both sound as boring as each other.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35I'm not going to the mung bean festival.

0:24:35 > 0:24:39Truth is, I'm booked on a tour of the Dotty Doughnut Factory.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40I love that tour!

0:24:40 > 0:24:44Did you know they use the same sprinkles on the white and pink ones?

0:24:44 > 0:24:47- Yet somehow they taste... - BOTH: So different!

0:24:47 > 0:24:50I'm so relieved you're not a lord.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52There was no way I could invite you to my house

0:24:52 > 0:24:54when I thought YOU lived in a castle.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57- I can still come and stay with you? - Of course.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00But there is something you should know.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03I lied about living in Japan to sound cool.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05I'm actually from Cornwall.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09I love Cornwall!

0:25:10 > 0:25:13- ROBOTIC VOICE: - Here are your ice-creams. Enjoy.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16Hey, you fixed Zappo. I love this little robot.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19- Any chance I could borrow him next weekend?- Sure, why not.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22I'd better be off. I'll be late for my Dotty Doughnut tour.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26- I'd love to come. Aren't their billboards just the best?- I know.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28- ROBOTIC VOICE:- What is going on?

0:25:28 > 0:25:30You don't have to talk like that any more, Ben.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33Come on. The thing is, he's not actually from Japan.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Does that mean I'm not going to Japan?

0:25:37 > 0:25:41Darina? Hi. It's about the fencing.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45I've got a confession to make. You see, the thing is...

0:25:45 > 0:25:48I'm sorry, what? The script's changed?

0:25:48 > 0:25:50The fencing's been cut, deleted?

0:25:50 > 0:25:53Oh, that's great news, thanks!

0:25:53 > 0:25:55DOORBELL

0:25:55 > 0:25:58I love the new idea. At least, I think I will when I've read it.

0:25:58 > 0:26:02I mean, those writers are genius. OK, ciao, kiss-kiss, ciao.

0:26:02 > 0:26:06- Your new script arrived. - Great news! The fencing's been cut.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Nurse Woodmagnet doesn't have to duel any more.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12- Oh, no.- Is something wrong?

0:26:12 > 0:26:15They've replaced the fencing with a horse circus.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Now Woodmagnet has to ride a dancing horse.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21- Are you sure this is set in a hospital?- What am I going to do?

0:26:21 > 0:26:24I shouldn't have lied about joining the circus

0:26:24 > 0:26:25at the age of six.

0:26:25 > 0:26:31DOORBELL RINGS INSISTENTLY

0:26:33 > 0:26:36- Grrr!- Ah! Max! Thank goodness you're OK.

0:26:36 > 0:26:37Mm-mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm!

0:26:37 > 0:26:41I know. That's why I kept phoning you. You were with the wrong Katy.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43Mm-mm mm! Mmmm!

0:26:43 > 0:26:45I tried to warn you, I swear.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47- Grrrr!- Argh!

0:26:49 > 0:26:51You're not printing again?!

0:26:51 > 0:26:54You're going to use up all the colour ink!

0:26:54 > 0:26:57It's just something for Ming, my pen pal I met online.

0:26:57 > 0:27:00I thought we agreed you'd be a little bit more careful

0:27:00 > 0:27:01with your online profile.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Relax. This is harmless.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07He's just asked for details on our computer security system.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Really(!)

0:27:09 > 0:27:12He's fascinated. Funny story.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Yesterday, I had to send him the blueprints of our ship

0:27:14 > 0:27:17and then the password, so he could access the mainframe.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19That's classified!

0:27:19 > 0:27:22If that gets into the wrong hands, it could be used to blow up planets.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25I trust Ming totally. He wouldn't harm a fly.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28EXPLOSIONS

0:27:38 > 0:27:42# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

0:27:44 > 0:27:46# Let's lift these chains

0:27:46 > 0:27:51# Let's ride this wave right out to sea

0:27:51 > 0:27:55# I will wi-i-in

0:27:55 > 0:27:56# Breaking free. #