0:00:02 > 0:00:03SIREN WAILS
0:00:03 > 0:00:04Ah!
0:00:06 > 0:00:09What's that noise?
0:00:09 > 0:00:11It's a meteor proximity warning! We're doomed!
0:00:11 > 0:00:16No, the meteor proximity alarm goes awooga-awooga-awooga!
0:00:16 > 0:00:19This is going a-wa-wa-wa-wa!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Maybe it's the reactor malfunction.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Reactor readings are fine.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27The hull breach?
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Forcefield polarity reversal?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31We're out of Cornflakes?
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Great, I just remembered!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36It's to remind us that the new series of Dani's House starts today!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Ah, yay!
0:00:39 > 0:00:40OTHER SIREN WAILS
0:00:40 > 0:00:44- Now that's what the meteor proximity alarm sounds like.- Oh.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46BOTH: We're doomed!
0:00:46 > 0:00:47But on the plus side...
0:00:47 > 0:00:49BOTH: New Dani's House!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Hey! My name's Dani, and this...
0:00:55 > 0:00:56Is her best friend, Jack.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Thanks. My name's Dani, and this...
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Is her brother, Max!
0:00:59 > 0:01:00And his best friend, Ben!
0:01:00 > 0:01:02As I was saying, my name's Dani, and this...
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Is her friend, Ruby!
0:01:04 > 0:01:06And I'm her sister, Maisy!
0:01:06 > 0:01:08And I'm Dani, and this is the brilliant...
0:01:08 > 0:01:09ALL: Our house!
0:01:09 > 0:01:11THEY ALL ARGUE
0:01:11 > 0:01:12RUBY WHISTLES
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Hey, guys! You will not believe the year I've had.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26So, somehow, my evil little brother won a TV talent show,
0:01:26 > 0:01:29and became the hottest grime star
0:01:29 > 0:01:32on the planet. Now, everywhere I look,
0:01:32 > 0:01:34all I see is him staring out at me
0:01:34 > 0:01:36with his horribly successful eyes.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Agh!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39And to cap it all,
0:01:39 > 0:01:40today, I found out I'm getting
0:01:40 > 0:01:43a new co-star on McHurties Hospital.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44That's just what I need.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Another jumped-up diva fighting over which of us gets the most scenes.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Still, on the plus side, Max is going on a world tour and taking
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Mum and Dad with him, which means I finally get the bigger bedroom!
0:01:59 > 0:02:00CRYING
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Ben, what are you doing here?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Max asked me to give you a message.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Max left three days ago. Have you been up here all this time?
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Oh, I'm so hungry!
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Wait, what message?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Yo, yo, yo, 'sup, girl?
0:02:16 > 0:02:17He's so cool!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Listen up, yo.
0:02:19 > 0:02:25Mo and Po gave me the a-yo to tell yo that my crib is a no-go zo, yo?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26And in English?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29What I'm trying to say is you're not allowed in my room,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32and my friend Ben can crash over any time he likes.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Oh, great.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Sorry if this comes as a shock, you know,
0:02:38 > 0:02:41but got to scoot off to the sound check.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Don't want to let the fans down.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Shout out to Ruby and Jack. Laters!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I won't get in your way, Dani.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I'll just come here sometimes and quietly mourn
0:02:51 > 0:02:52the loss of my best friend.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59There, there. Look, when Sam became an astronaut, I kept myself busy.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Maybe you need a project to distract yourself.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03But I've already got a project.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I'm building a life-size model of Max out of used tissues.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Yeah. Erm, maybe you need a project that doesn't remind you of Max.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Hey, I hadn't thought of that!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Anyway, I'd better be getting to work.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I've got to meet my new co-star for McHurties.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Whoop-de-doo! I think not.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Thanks, Dani. Good luck!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I don't mean to complain, Zarina, it's just...
0:03:34 > 0:03:38I wasn't expecting to share so much screen time with this new guy.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40I mean, you've given him over half my lines.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Darling, remember who you are.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45The star of McHurties Hospital is McHurties Hospital,
0:03:45 > 0:03:47but we need new blood to keep it fresh.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Look, Zarina... - Characters come and go, darling.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Actors can easily be replaced.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58CRASH!
0:03:58 > 0:03:59- Look out below!- Aaah!
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Wow! You saved me.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07My hero!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Can't have the star of the show getting flattened.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12We'd have to call you Nurse Pancake!
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Believe me, I'm not the star of the show.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Not now I've got to play second fiddle
0:04:17 > 0:04:18to some line-stealing prima donna!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Who's responsible for that?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Why don't you two go over scene 12?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I need to go and fire the lighting staff.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Er, why would we run through a scene together?
0:04:26 > 0:04:28This is Alex, your new co-star.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Hello, again!
0:04:30 > 0:04:33You? You're my...?
0:04:33 > 0:04:34But you're, erm...
0:04:34 > 0:04:36You're...
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Is there something on my face?
0:04:37 > 0:04:40No. Just your big, manly nose.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Not that your nose is big.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44I mean, well, it is big, but not freakishly big.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46It's in proportion with the rest of your face.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Oh, so I've got a big face?
0:04:48 > 0:04:51No! Well, yeah, compared to mine, it's big,
0:04:51 > 0:04:53but you've got big ears compared to mine, too.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- Have I?- Yeah, but it's fine. It's a good thing.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57The bigger the ears, the better the hearing.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Oh, great, so I'll be able to hear people saying,
0:04:59 > 0:05:00"Look, there goes Mr Big Nose!"
0:05:00 > 0:05:02It's better to have big ears than none at all,
0:05:02 > 0:05:04otherwise, you'd look even weirder. Not that you look weird!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06You're no oil painting either!
0:05:06 > 0:05:10You've got, er, a smallish mouth!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- I have?- Yeah! It's like this.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15"Oh, look at me! My mouth's so small,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18"I can only eat little tiny beans!"
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Yeah, well, if anything, your mouth is way too big.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24It's like you've got the Channel Tunnel stuck on your face!
0:05:24 > 0:05:27What did you have for dinner? Baked...trains?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Oh, thanks. Well, now I know exactly what you think of me.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32No, thank you, because now I know what you think of me.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33- See you around.- Whatever!
0:05:36 > 0:05:39One minute, he's saving my life, the next, he's biting my head off.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44- He's short-tempered, rude, brave, gorgeous, line-stealing...- Ooh!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Sounds like somebody fancies him!
0:05:47 > 0:05:48I do not fancy him.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50You just said he was gorgeous.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52And before that, you said he was brave.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Well, even if I did say he was brave and gorgeous
0:05:55 > 0:05:58and charismatic and talented, I wouldn't want to go out with him,
0:05:58 > 0:06:00and he certainly doesn't want to go out with me.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03I can't believe I said he had a big nose.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06I went to pieces around him, like I was nervous or something.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Haven't you learned anything from romantic movies?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12This is how it starts! With you two hating one another.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- First, come the insults. - Then, the shouting.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16BOTH: Then, the kissing and the hugging!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Oh, no! I've got a crush on my new co-star!
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Oh, you and Alex could be the new Brad and Angelina.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Instead of Brangelina, you could be Danalex!
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Ugh, that sounds like a brand of toilet paper!
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I can't believe this is happening.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I'm more taken aback that my sister just gave some relationship advice
0:06:36 > 0:06:37which wasn't completely rubbish.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40It's bad enough that Mum and Dad asked me to look after you today,
0:06:40 > 0:06:42I'm not having any lip on top of that.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Fine.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I'll go and find someone who appreciates my insults.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48I was getting bored here anyway.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53"Ooh, let's talk about boys and relationships!" Bleugh!
0:06:53 > 0:06:56You should be ashamed of yourself.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58She has a point though, Rubes.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00You know, you know as much about boys
0:07:00 > 0:07:02as I know about rewiring electrical appliances.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04APPLIANCE ZAPS Aaah!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I rest my case.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07Hic!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Oh, great. Now I've given myself the hiccups.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11And that's the end of the world because...?
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Well, the last time this happened, they lasted for three days. Hic!
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I'm meant to be entering the Golden Turntable trials tomorrow.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19I'm never going to win with hiccups.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Hic!
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Ruby, what am I going to do?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26I fancy someone who can't stand the sight of me.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Dani, Dani, Dani.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Allow me to be your personal love trainer.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36I don't need a love trainer, Ruby. I need a love doctor. I'm sick.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Doctor, I have this nervous, excited feeling in my tummy
0:07:42 > 0:07:44and I can't stop smiling.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- Plus, I have a noise in my ear. - What does it sound like?
0:07:47 > 0:07:48CHOIR SINGS
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Like angels singing.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Open your mouth and say "Ah".
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Ah!
0:07:54 > 0:07:58Just as I thought. Lovesickness.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Is there a cure? Or some kind of injection I could have?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Please, doctor, you have to help me!
0:08:02 > 0:08:06I'm afraid the only solution is to remove your heart
0:08:06 > 0:08:11- and replace it with this. - What is it?- Take a look!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15HORN HONKS
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Now snap out of it! He's just a boy!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24The sun?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26A tree?
0:08:26 > 0:08:27A potato!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31It's Max.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32You've drawn Max.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Yes! Well done, Maisy!
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Hardly.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36You've drawn Max in every round so far.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40I can't help it. All I can think about is him. I miss having fun.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41You can have fun with me!
0:08:41 > 0:08:44No offence, Maisy, but you're a lot younger than Max and I.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48What fun can you offer someone as mature and sophisticated as myself?
0:08:48 > 0:08:49What does it matter how old I am?
0:08:49 > 0:08:53I'm going to prove that I'm 20 times as fun as that monkey trumpet.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Hic!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Hi, Jack.- Can't talk - hiccups.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Going to try the old drinking-the-water-backwards trick.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Hic!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Man, there's nothing for it!
0:09:05 > 0:09:09I'm just going to have to withdraw my entry to the competition.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Luckily for you, Ben has an old family remedy for hiccups.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- No, I don't!- Yes, you do.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15What are you talking about, Maisy? I really don't.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- You do! - Stop it, you're freaking me out!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20You wanted something to take your mind off Max, didn't you?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Well, this is it. Come on, it'll be fun.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28I can cure your hiccups, Jack. I know an old family remedy.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31This isn't some kind of joke, is it? Come on, can you actually cure me?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- Definitely.- Absolutely.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35As if he'd play a joke on you!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Yeah, OK, fine. You can help. I'm desperate.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39What shall we say? 20 quid?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41We're not doing this for the money.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43We're in it for the fun!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45He means we're doing it for the goodness of our hearts,
0:09:45 > 0:09:47to help a friend.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50But if you insist on paying us...
0:09:50 > 0:09:52You get the other half when you cure me.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56These are your lungs.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Your oesophagus, your glottis, your vocal chords,
0:10:00 > 0:10:03and this little nasty here, this is the diaphragm.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05What's it called, Private Benjamin?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07The diaphragm, ma'am!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10And what is the diaphragm, Private Benjamin?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12It's a thin layer of muscle separating Jack's chest off
0:10:12 > 0:10:13from his belly-welly.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17Yes, indeedy! And that's the source of your troubles, sir!
0:10:17 > 0:10:21When the dia-thing gets irritated through shock, it becomes surly.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24And when the diaphragm becomes surly, all Mary Heck breaks loose.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27What breaks loose, Private Benjamin?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- Mary Heck.- Mary Heck what?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Mary Heck, ma'am!- Hic!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Yeah, that's all well and good, but why are you telling me this?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Know your enemy!
0:10:37 > 0:10:40We can't defeat the hiccups until we know what we're up against.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- To beat the hiccups, you have to think like a hiccup.- Hic!
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Do you have the stomach for this fight, soldier?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Yeah, but I don't understand why all this guff is necessary. Hic.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50You're talking like you want the hiccups to win!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52- Is that what you want?! - Well, is it?!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Answer us!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56- No.- No, what?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Ma'am? Hic!
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Let's roll.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Hic!
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Ruby, why am I on a rowing machine?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09To help you focus on your goal.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12We need to get Alex to see you as a potential romantic interest.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13And how do I do that?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15On your feet, Dani. I've got it.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17- You've got what?- Peacocks!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19You've got peacocks?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Peacocks display their bright tailfeathers to attract a mate.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Humans can do the same with hair, clothes and make-up.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27You need to become a peacock.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- Are you sure about this?- Ha!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31If there's one thing I know about, it's peacocks.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Love!
0:11:33 > 0:11:34If there's one thing I know about, it's love.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Hi, Alex!
0:11:38 > 0:11:42OK, so peacocking was a bad idea.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43How about we do penguining?
0:11:43 > 0:11:46No. No more bird-related dating tips.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48I know! We should try a double date!
0:11:48 > 0:11:52Firstly, he won't go on a date with me. I said he had a big nose.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Then I scared him so much that he tripped over the catering trolley
0:11:55 > 0:11:56and got his head stuck in a bucket.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58He doesn't have to know it's a date!
0:11:58 > 0:12:01And secondly, a double date with who?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Me, and Jack!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- You and Jack aren't together.- Yeah, but Alex doesn't have to know that!
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- OK. I know I'm going to regret this, but it's worth a shot, I guess.- Yes!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15# Dani and Alex, sitting in a tree
0:12:15 > 0:12:17# K-I-S-S-I-N-G
0:12:17 > 0:12:20# First comes love, then comes... #
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Maybe I'm getting a tad carried away!
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Just a tad.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31What's in this thing again? Hic!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33It's probably best you don't know, but just to check,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36do you have an allergy to any of the following things?
0:12:36 > 0:12:41Frog's brains, eye of newt, dog farts, E1046.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- You put all that in this drink?- No, we're just messing with you, Jack.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47This drink has but two ingredients. Vinegar...
0:12:47 > 0:12:51And the world's hottest, naturally grown chilli. Behold!
0:12:53 > 0:12:56The Bhut Jolokia, also known as the ghost chilli.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00It rates a staggering 855,000 units
0:13:00 > 0:13:02on the Scoville Scale of chilli hotness.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05It's like swallowing a handful of jagged rocks,
0:13:05 > 0:13:08while being slapped around the face cheeks with a porcupine on a stick.
0:13:08 > 0:13:09I'm not drinking that, then!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11You got your hiccups by getting a shock.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14The only thing that'll cure them is to shock your system another way.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Hic!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Yeah, I'm not sure that's such a good idea.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20You do want to rehearse for your gig, don't you, Jack?
0:13:22 > 0:13:23- Is this stuff safe?- Hic!
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Of course it possibly is!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Bottoms up, Jack!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Ugh!
0:13:39 > 0:13:40That wasn't so bad.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Actually, that is quite hot!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- Cool!- Are we having fun yet?
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Ugh!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Well, does it work?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Who cares whether it worked?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Call the fire brigade! My entire digestive system is ablaze!
0:13:58 > 0:14:01I've still got the hiccups! Hic!
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Come on, you stupid thing! I'm missing Dani's House!
0:14:05 > 0:14:09I need to know whether Jack cures his hiccups and Dani gets the boy!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11COMPUTER BEEPS
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Oh, much better.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Here we are, Coordinator.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17I removed this meteorite from our TV dish.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19It must have been causing the interference.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Coordinator Zark, that's no meteorite! That's a graggleflax egg!
0:14:22 > 0:14:26- You have to throw it back into space before it hatches.- Why?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28The graggleflax falls in love with the first creature
0:14:28 > 0:14:29it sets its eyes upon.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Why is that so bad?
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Because the graggleflax is the most neediest creature in the universe!
0:14:34 > 0:14:39If it falls in love with you, it never, ever leaves you alone.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42It's hatching! Quickly, flush it out the airlock!
0:14:42 > 0:14:43No, you do it!
0:14:43 > 0:14:45You do it!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I wuv you!
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Mwah mwah mwah!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58I'll wuv you forever!
0:14:58 > 0:15:03We're meant to be together! It's our destiny.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Thanks very much(!)
0:15:05 > 0:15:07You're so handsome!
0:15:07 > 0:15:11- Really?- Mmm!- Thank you very much.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Don't you think the candles are a bit much?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19We need to create a romantic atmosphere,
0:15:19 > 0:15:23and there's nothing more romantic than candles.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Unless you're wearing an outfit woven from very dry leaves.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Yeah, which is why I'm not going to light them, just in case.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Well, doesn't that kind of defeat the point?- Ssh!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Still help Alex get in the right frame of mind
0:15:32 > 0:15:33to fall in love with you.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I'm not trying to get him to fall in love with me.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38I just want him to stop hating me long enough
0:15:38 > 0:15:40that he might consider going for a pizza sometime.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Look, you know me, and I never back down from a challenge.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47That boy is going to fall in love with you whether he likes you or not!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49DOORBELL RINGS
0:15:49 > 0:15:51That's him! OK, stay calm, play it cool!
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Yeah, because this room just screams cool(!)
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Good luck!
0:16:00 > 0:16:04Hey. I got the message you needed to urgently rehearse our scenes.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Actually, rehearsing's not really why I asked you over here.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09Oh? I'm listening.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13We got off to a bad start, but I want to make it up to you.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Maybe we could start again?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17I mean, we are going to be co-stars, after all.
0:16:17 > 0:16:22OK, OK. I may have overreacted slightly. My bad.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Maybe we could get to know each other. Like, over a pizza?
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Yeah, that would be weird. No pizza.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31We haven't really nailed scene 12 yet.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32While I'm here, we may as well rehearse.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Great idea. Come into my parlour!
0:16:43 > 0:16:46I should probably pretend that I didn't see that.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Yeah, probably.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Hic!
0:16:50 > 0:16:54- And you're absolutely sure this is going to cure my hiccups?- Yes.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- So, you're certain I'll be fit for the competition tomorrow?- Yes.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00We went to the library, and we got a book out and everything.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01It's called Ye Olde Book Of Hiccup Cures.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03So why does the cover say
0:17:03 > 0:17:05History's 100 Funniest Tortures?
0:17:05 > 0:17:07It's a misprint, and if this doesn't cure you, nothing will.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10You said that about the last five cures! Hic!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12This is different. We're going to tickle your feet
0:17:12 > 0:17:14until your hiccups can stand no more.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Unless you have malaria, in which case, the best medicine
0:17:19 > 0:17:22is a month-long course of anti-malarial treatment.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Jack, Alex is here! Are you all set to...?
0:17:24 > 0:17:25What are you doing to Jack?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27We're trying to cure his hiccups by having fun.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30And I'm trying to distract myself from the loss of Max by having fun.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32And I'm not having any fun at all. Hic!
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Jack, I need you out of there!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35You have to pretend to be my boyfriend, remember?
0:17:35 > 0:17:38You're that desperate that you now have to pretend
0:17:38 > 0:17:39you've got a boyfriend?
0:17:39 > 0:17:40We're doing it to help Dani.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Rubes, explain to me again... Hic! ..how us pretending... Hic!
0:17:43 > 0:17:45..to be together... Hic!
0:17:45 > 0:17:48..is going to help Dani get with this Alex... Hic! ..person.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50He'll see us all loved up, look around,
0:17:50 > 0:17:52and see that Dani's available, and boom!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Cupid's in the house.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55We're not going to kiss, are we?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- No, we'll just hold hands.- Ugh!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- Hic!- OK, fine, we won't do that.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Just hurry up and get cured!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Hic! Well, can we get going now? I'm starting to get a headache.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05OK, on the count of three.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08- One, two...- Nine!
0:18:08 > 0:18:14Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Hic! Hic! Hic!
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Please make it stop! Hic!
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- Interesting decor! - Yeah, I'm really big on candles.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Candles and curtains and chandeliers.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Basically, any decor that begins with a C, even carnations.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41- Technically, those are roses. - Whatever. Do you like them?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Nice to look at, less nice to inhale.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Atchoo!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I've got chronic hayfever.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Oh, right, well, I'll just put them away.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51It was a stupid idea.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Stupid, hayfever-making flowers, stupid carnations.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- Roses.- Whatever.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59Look, Alex. There's something I need to ask you. Well, tell you.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Erm, express to you, as it were.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Hi, there!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Alex, this is my friend, Ruby.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Hey. Saw your dance earlier!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Yep, you just can't stop me dancing. Dancing Ruby, Dani calls me.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14- # Doo-doo-doo-doo! # - Yeah, I really don't.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Ruby just hangs out here.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18You know, hangs out here and interrupts people
0:19:18 > 0:19:19when they're about to say something...
0:19:19 > 0:19:22- So, you must be really excited about working with Dani?- Er...
0:19:22 > 0:19:23Excited is one word for it.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Another word would be not excited, although that's two words.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- And this is Jack.- Hi.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31He's my boyfriend. Right, Jack?
0:19:31 > 0:19:33We're a couple. We're in love!
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Hey, Jack. How's it going?
0:19:35 > 0:19:36Hic! Hic! Hic!
0:19:36 > 0:19:37I've got hiccups.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40That would explain the hiccup-like noise you just made.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Hope you don't mind us hanging out with you today.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- We'll try not to get too lovey-dovey.- Too right, you won't!
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Actually, we're about to rehearse a scene for McHurties,
0:19:47 > 0:19:48so we'd rather not have a crowd.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Well, I don't mind. Two people is nothing.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53We're going to be performing to an audience of millions when we film.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Come on, boyfriend.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Let's snuggle up on the sofa
0:19:56 > 0:19:58and let these actors rehearse their scene!
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- Scene 12, you say?- Mm-hmm.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06- Trust me, it's going to work with us two being here!- Hic!
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Right then, what can we do next to Jack?
0:20:10 > 0:20:14What happens if we cure him, Maisy? What happens when the fun stops?
0:20:14 > 0:20:15I'll be back to missing Max!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Hey, I'll still be around.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19You've had fun with me so far, haven't you?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21I don't mean to be rude, Maisy,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24but while I've enjoyed setting fire to Jack's intestines
0:20:24 > 0:20:27and tickling him until he wet himself, we're missing something.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30It just isn't the same without that cherry on the cake.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Now, if you'll excuse me,
0:20:32 > 0:20:36I need to roll around on the bathroom floor crying.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39How do you do it, Max? What's your secret?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Where do you keep your schemes?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- MAX:- What are you doing in my room?
0:20:48 > 0:20:49What are you doing on the ceiling?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52My wardrobe was rigged to alarm me if anyone tried to break into it.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Don't even think about it, pea-head. I'm watching you by webcam.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59One press of this button, and I set off my booby traps.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01I was just looking for inspiration.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Ben and I are trying to wind up Jack.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06You're trying to steal my Ben away from me?
0:21:06 > 0:21:07And you want my help?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Go find your own inspiration, you little squirt!
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Fine. I will.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15I'm going to prove to Ben that I'm eight million times more fun
0:21:15 > 0:21:17to hang out with than you.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20You'll never do it, never top my schemes.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23You don't have my panache, my skill for a setup, followed by a big,
0:21:23 > 0:21:27messy, hilariously epic finale, and Ben knows that.
0:21:27 > 0:21:32He's my friend, you hear? He's mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!
0:21:32 > 0:21:36- Max! Max, is that you? - No, it isn't. And we don't need him.
0:21:36 > 0:21:37You want a cherry on our cake of fun?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Well, hold onto your underpants, Benjamin,
0:21:39 > 0:21:42because that's just what you're going to get.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45I don't see how this will help!
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Nurse Woodmagnet, when was the last time you checked on Mr Cooper?
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Have you seen his hands?
0:21:53 > 0:21:56I have not, Nurse Marrow. Why do you ask?
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Because they've both swollen up like a bunch of bananas!
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Sorry, what is that?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05It's a wrist exerciser!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Don't waste any opportunity keeping fit.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08Comes with being a personal trainer.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11No way? I've been thinking about getting a personal trainer.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Oh, well, Dani should become your personal trainer. She's really fit.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Show him your moves, Dani! - My moves?- Mmm.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Right. Erm, OK.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27DANI'S BACK CRACKS
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Ow! Ow, my back!
0:22:29 > 0:22:31You OK, Dani?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33I've done something really bad to my skeleton!
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Come on, I'll do some physio on you.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41Wow, your back's like steel! Really tense.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Well, I'm not exactly relaxed, am I, Ruby?
0:22:45 > 0:22:51Before we begin our meditation, we should do some relaxation exercises.
0:22:51 > 0:22:56Yoga can make you more aware, more in tuned with the universe,
0:22:56 > 0:22:58and unwind your muscles.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Now, do as I do.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07The extended woodlouse.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Downward facing porpoise.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19The happy chimney sweep.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27Er, excuse me. I don't think I'm doing this correctly.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44- Are you ready?- As I'll ever be.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Then let's get set up, and we'll give Jack the fright of his life.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49- How does that feel?- A bit better.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Instead of feeling like my back's about to explode,
0:23:52 > 0:23:54it just feels like my spine's been replaced
0:23:54 > 0:23:56by a family of angry hedgehogs.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Well, I might as well use this time to try
0:23:58 > 0:24:00and rehearse for the competition.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Wow, you're a DJ?
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Obviously, he's a DJ, Alex. Those are DJ decks!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Yeah, but I've got a competition to enter tomorrow. Hic!
0:24:09 > 0:24:11And if I can't get these hiccups cured by then,
0:24:11 > 0:24:12I'm never going to win!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Hic!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17That looked pretty good to me!
0:24:17 > 0:24:18I know.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19That was a Fassbender flip!
0:24:19 > 0:24:20The what, now?
0:24:20 > 0:24:23It's a move that only two DJs have ever been able to do.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Because of these hiccups, so can I!
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Hic!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Seriously, that was beyond awesome!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Yes! Ha-ha, back in the game, baby! Eyes on the prize.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- OK?- Yeah.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Good, because we're going all out to get you guys together.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Ruby, let's face it,
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Alex is more interested in your silly exercises
0:24:45 > 0:24:47and Jack's DJing than he is in me.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48You can't give up now!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51No, it's OK. He's clearly not interested.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I'll just have to accept the fact
0:24:53 > 0:24:54that we're not going to get together.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Hic!
0:25:00 > 0:25:04- Now, Ben!- Hic! Aaaaaaaah!
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Oooh!
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- What are you doing? - Curing your hiccups!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Right, that's enough, Ben.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13What is up with you two?
0:25:13 > 0:25:15We're just doing what Jack asked us to do.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17We were just trying to cure his hiccups.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18With a wedgie?
0:25:18 > 0:25:21With a mammoth wedgie!
0:25:21 > 0:25:23And it sounds like it worked!
0:25:23 > 0:25:24My hiccups are gone!
0:25:25 > 0:25:26A deal's a deal, I guess.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Jack, I told you I didn't do this for the money,
0:25:29 > 0:25:31but if it makes you feel better...
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Now let's go buy some cool stuff.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38- You want me to go shopping with you? - You've had fun, haven't you?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Yeah, but I draw the line at that.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Plus, it would feel like I'm betraying Max.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- Ben, you are allowed more than one friend.- I am? Really?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Yeah, really.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Let's go and plan our next adventure.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51- After we go shopping, don't you mean? - No, before.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Oh, wait a minute!
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Look, I need those hiccups. You have to get them back for me.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57I can't do the Fassbender flip without them!
0:25:57 > 0:26:01- How much would you pay us to get your hiccups back?- Now, that's very Max.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Alex, look out!
0:26:08 > 0:26:09CRASH!
0:26:12 > 0:26:14You saved me!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20This is going to sound out of the blue,
0:26:20 > 0:26:23but how about going for a pizza sometime?
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Yay!
0:26:24 > 0:26:26DANI'S BACK CRACKS
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Ow! Not again!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Come on, you. Let's get that back sorted.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Is it always like this here?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34You'll get used to it.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42I think this could be the start of something big for Dani and Alex!
0:26:42 > 0:26:43What do you reckon, Coordinator?
0:26:43 > 0:26:47I've got enough problems of my own, without worrying about Dani's.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I wuv you, Coordinator Zang. We're going to be together.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Forever!
0:26:53 > 0:26:54SIREN WAILS
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Oh, no! Not the meteor proximity alarm again!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Maybe it's another graggleflax egg.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Control says the composition of
0:27:04 > 0:27:06the incoming object is 98% iron ore.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09- This one's definitely a meteor. - Well, how far away is it?
0:27:09 > 0:27:10It's about to hit us!
0:27:10 > 0:27:12No time for evasive action!
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Brace for impact! This is it!
0:27:14 > 0:27:18At least I'm going out knowing what true love really feels like!
0:27:22 > 0:27:23- Wow, that was disappointing.- Yeah.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd