0:00:01 > 0:00:03There.
0:00:03 > 0:00:07Our entire collection of Dani's House stored neatly away.
0:00:08 > 0:00:13The post arrived! I swear, it gets later every day.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16We're 90,812 light years away from home.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18I'm amazed we get post at all.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21Bill. Bill. Bi...
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Ooh! Free tentacle softener.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25That's a message from Galactic Control!
0:00:25 > 0:00:28It says we're getting a visit from our new commanding officer.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30What?! When?
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Star date 14/48.peachnuggets/zebbeliboo.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36That's today's date.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39THEY SCREAM
0:00:39 > 0:00:43It says we'll be expected to present our final exam answer.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45What exam? What answer?
0:00:45 > 0:00:47THEY SCREAM
0:00:47 > 0:00:50DOOR RUMBLES
0:00:56 > 0:00:58THEY SCREAM
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Hey, guys. My name's Dani and this...
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Is my best friend, Jack.- Thanks.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07- My name's Dani and this... - Is her brother, Max.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- And his best friend, Ben!- As I was saying, my name's Dani and this...
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- Is her friend, Ruby. - And I'm her sister, Maisy.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- And I'm Dani, and this is the brilliant...- Our house.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18THEY ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
0:01:18 > 0:01:20WHISTLE BLOWS
0:01:20 > 0:01:22THEY LAUGH
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Why didn't you teleport in like normal people?
0:01:29 > 0:01:33Your teleport buffer is set to "outgoing calls only".
0:01:33 > 0:01:38That is a direct breach of galactic regulation 4720 Alpha.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41The damage to the airlock door will be coming out your pay.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- Um, sorry... Who are you, exactly? - Commander Zagro.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49I am here to assess whether you are fit to continue as co-ordinators.
0:01:49 > 0:01:54You two were sent to Earth to compile data about humanity.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56As your final assessment,
0:01:56 > 0:02:01we want you to briefly sum up all you have learned about humans.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03And if we can't do that?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06You will be exiled to the sixth moon of Yop-Yop-La.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09What's the sixth moon of Yop-Yop-La?
0:02:09 > 0:02:12The smelliest place in the entire galaxy.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15The airs stink of unwashed Earth dog.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18The seas reek of blocked drains, and TV reception's awful.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22But that would mean... No more Dani's House!
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Are you ready to make your presentation?
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Um... Could we have a teeny, tiny bit longer?
0:02:27 > 0:02:30LAUGHTER
0:02:30 > 0:02:33I Shall return in one Earth hour.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Don't panic! Nobody panic!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Calm down, co-ordinator! Right...
0:02:41 > 0:02:45I think we both know how to sum up what we've learned about the humans.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Humans are good.- Humans are bad.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49- Humans are good!- Humans are bad!
0:02:49 > 0:02:53- Humans are good!- We're not going to get anywhere like this.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57We need a way to review everything that we've learnt.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- We've got an entire new collection of Dani's house.- Mm.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Oh, we're bound to find the answer in this lot.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Let's start with this.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- Argh!- Argh!
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- So you're my babysitters?- Think of us as your new best friends.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18If you were my friends,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I wouldn't have asked Ben to glue your feet to the floor.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Hello, there.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27- We're always up to something. - Max, come back here!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29LAUGHTER
0:03:32 > 0:03:36When Dani or one of her unsuspecting friends walks through that door,
0:03:36 > 0:03:37the bucket will fall,
0:03:37 > 0:03:40tip upside-down as it dangles from the strap and voila.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43They'll be drenched in vanilla custard.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- You're a genius.- All we have to do
0:03:45 > 0:03:48is sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- I'll get the snacks.- No!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53LAUGHTER
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Wow! That worked really well.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01- Freeze!- These can freeze people? Awesome!- Fire!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04THEY SQUEAL
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Stop it.- You can't go to the party.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09A couple of squirts won't stop me.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11I'm not talking about the water pistols.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12THEY LAUGH
0:04:12 > 0:04:14One of these sweets is delicious.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17The other is laced with so much chilli,
0:04:17 > 0:04:19only dogs will hear you scream.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21LAUGHTER
0:04:21 > 0:04:24The question is, which sweet is which?
0:04:24 > 0:04:28The test ends when you decide and we both eat.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30The chilli sweet can't be the one in front of you,
0:04:30 > 0:04:31because that would be too obvious.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Good.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- So it's probably the sweet in front of me.- Mm-hm.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Which means I should pick the sweet in front of you.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Far out! What is that?!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44LAUGHTER
0:04:44 > 0:04:48- I don't see anything. - Oh, my mistake. Let's eat.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Ah! Ah! Ooh...
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Ah, ah!
0:04:57 > 0:04:59No good, it's a dribble glass!
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Quick. Eat this one - it'll help mask the flavour.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09DOGS BARK AND YELP
0:05:10 > 0:05:13As you see, both sweets were chilli flavoured.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Ow, my tongue! Ow, my tongue!
0:05:15 > 0:05:18You forgot lesson number one - trust no-one.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22LAUGHTER
0:05:22 > 0:05:24We'll become evil, Ben.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26We'll become so evil,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29we'll make lambs cry just by dreaming about them.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Maxi-man and Ben-tastic have gone forever.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Say hello to...
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Maximum Destruction!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40And Fluffy Bunny Boy!
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Ben, we agreed, you're Benergiser.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Do it again.- Fine. Sorry.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50And Benergiser!
0:05:50 > 0:05:53THEY CACKLE MANIACALLY
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- Do you want a cup of tea? - Yeah, sure.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01I told you humans were bad. They steal, they lie,
0:06:01 > 0:06:03they play horrible tricks on their own friends.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Well, of course you're going to think that
0:06:05 > 0:06:08if you're looking at clips of Max and Ben, and... Wait.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Max and Ben. What do they have in common?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12They're both incredibly ugly.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Yes, but they're also human males.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Oh. The humans all look alike to me.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20How can you tell the difference between boys and girls?
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Oh, um... SHE WHISPERS
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Urgh! That's disgusting.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Well, they must have other differences.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Let's find out.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32See if the girls are any better.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36SHE SCREAMS
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Let's try and focus on the emotion fear, shall we?
0:06:43 > 0:06:44Dani, will you take my hand?
0:06:44 > 0:06:48THEY SCREAM My hand! What did you do?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Nothing! I just touched it.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52I think I'm going to pass out.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Jane! Jane!
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Sam's hand's fallen off, call an ambulance!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58It's all right, I'll call an ambulance!
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- How do you make calls on this thing! - Dani, wait.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07I was just helping you to explore the emotion fear. See?
0:07:07 > 0:07:08'Subject D has demonstrated
0:07:08 > 0:07:11'that humans can quickly switch between emotional states.'
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Sam, who's subject D?- Nobody.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17- My mum?- It's me, isn't it? I'm subject D.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Ooh, you can't glue me to this chair. I have rights.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- I want my lawyer. - You're not being arrested.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Just need to keep you here long enough to learn the duet.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- OK, but can I do the opening? - You'll never learn it in time.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Just because you were born before me doesn't make you the boss of me.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- Actually, it does.- You're the worst sister in the world.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39No, I think you'll find YOU are.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40- Am not.- Are too.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- Am not, am not! - Are too, are too! OK, stop!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Dinner is served.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Thank you.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49So, what's this?
0:07:49 > 0:07:53It's a seared fillet of peacock with a pomegranate jelly.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- It's what celebrities eat.- Great!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I can't wait to try the food you like.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02LAUGHTER
0:08:02 > 0:08:05It's lovely, Dani.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Do you have the stomach for this fight, soldier?
0:08:07 > 0:08:11Yeah, but... I just don't understand why all this guff is necessary.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13You're talking almost like you want the hiccups to win!
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Is that what you want? - Well? Is it?- Answer us!
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- No!- "No" what?
0:08:20 > 0:08:21- Mum? - HE HICCUPS
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Let's roll.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Do you want to win or not?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Argh!- Urgh!
0:08:27 > 0:08:29THEY SCREAM
0:08:29 > 0:08:31TRAIN HORN BLARES
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Sorry, did you say something there?
0:08:36 > 0:08:39I just keep lying to people, Ruby. I've tried to stop...
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- SHE STARTS CRYING - ..but I can't!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45I'm such a terrible little sister.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Aw, I'm sorry, Maisy. Would it help to talk about your problems?
0:08:49 > 0:08:53It might, but first I'm going to go and check on Max.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54What?!
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Don't bother chasing after me.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59I've tied your shoelaces together.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Hey!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I hate the fact that Sam thinks her science project
0:09:05 > 0:09:07is the most important thing in the world.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I also hate the fact that you stand with your head
0:09:09 > 0:09:11resting on your shoulder. It looks really sappy.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I do not do that.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14LAUGHTER
0:09:14 > 0:09:16I haven't finished yet!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Give me that!- Get...off!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- Ooh! - GLASS SHATTERS
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Aw! Aw...
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Ah!
0:09:29 > 0:09:32In YOUR face!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38THEY CACKLE
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- ROBOTIC:- Malfunction!- Malfunctioning!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46System error!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Well, all that proves is that boys and girls
0:09:51 > 0:09:54are different in some ways but the same in others.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58There must be some common thread that links all humans together.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00We need to come up with something fast or we're going to spend
0:10:00 > 0:10:04the rest of forever on a moon that stinks of damp underpants.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07What else do we know about the humans?
0:10:07 > 0:10:12Ow. Um, some are smaller and some are taller.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14They start out small, like Max and Maisy,
0:10:14 > 0:10:17and they get bigger as time goes on.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Ooh! Well, let's see if the older ones
0:10:19 > 0:10:21are better behaved than the younger ones.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23You must be thingy.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25- Brandon.- Whatever.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30Sergeant-Major Rodney Treeboys, retired. Very pleased to meet you.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Ow! I need that hand. That's the hand I use to hold my... You know.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Guitar?- Hair straighteners.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39LAUGHTER
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Is that black nail varnish, son?
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Or did you slam your hand in a drawer?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Look. No offence, old man, but we're kind of busy,
0:10:46 > 0:10:48so if you wouldn't mind just scooting along...?
0:10:48 > 0:10:52TUNELESSLY: # Ah, a-a-h! #
0:10:52 > 0:10:55No! Ooh!
0:10:55 > 0:10:59- Which one of you is responsible for this outrage?- That'd be me.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02How dare you interrupt my singing?
0:11:02 > 0:11:07- Sounded like you'd swallowed a sack of kittens.- Do you know who I am?
0:11:07 > 0:11:10I'm Brandon Noir, king of the emos.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12I don't care if you are king of the ostriches,
0:11:12 > 0:11:16you just stay well clear of my granddaughter, right?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20HE CACKLES EVILLY
0:11:20 > 0:11:23THEY SCREAM
0:11:24 > 0:11:27I am Vladimir Druisilla, your dance teacher.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30LIGHTNING CRACKLES
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Stop. Stop!
0:11:32 > 0:11:36It is like watching stray cat fighting with pigeon.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41- Where is your rhythm? Your poise? - Same place as your manners.
0:11:41 > 0:11:47To dance, you must embrace both the light...and the shadows.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50MUSIC: "La Cumparsita" by Gerardo Matos Rodriguez
0:11:50 > 0:11:52HE HUMS TO HIMSELF
0:11:55 > 0:11:58I learnt to dance as a boy around campfire
0:11:58 > 0:12:00when trousers caught alight.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02LAUGHTER
0:12:02 > 0:12:07You will dance like your trousers are ablaze!
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- If I have to. - Go. Your legs are burning!
0:12:10 > 0:12:14Go, hear the symphony of the night!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Yes, yes!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- Ah!- No.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I'm Guy Flannel.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25If you've got it, I'll spot it.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Wow. It's actually you.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Yeah...
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I get the same feeling when I look at myself in the mirror.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- Fluff, fluffity, fluff-fluff. - I thought you liked my demo?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Well, you've got a great voice and some good songs.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41But no-one's going to buy a book if there's sick all over the cover.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44You're actually comparing me to vomit?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Fluff, fluffity, fluff-fluff.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I need your CD.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51LAUGHTER
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- Oh, whoops. - What did you do that for?!
0:12:54 > 0:12:58If we get through this meeting, I'll split everything with you, 30/70.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59- 50/50.- No, 35/65.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- 20/80.- 42/58.- 40/60.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- 24/7. 7/11. 12 numberty noo-na! - Deal!
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- What's my present? - It's what you have always wanted.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- You didn't!- I did! I bought you an Xbox!
0:13:12 > 0:13:13Oh, it isn't!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15LAUGHTER
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Eggs box. Eggs in a box?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21SHE LAUGHS You've been pranked!
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- I want every single one of these letters answered by tomorrow.- Mm-hm.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Tomorrow!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Characters come and go, darling. Actors can easily be replaced.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35You're fired.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- What do you mean I've been axed? - Had a rethink, darling.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Decided to save some money and replace you with that.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45You're fired. You are in big trouble, missy!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47SHE ROARS IN ANGER
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Here, we've made you a cake.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52You're...fired?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Enjoy.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56So all humans behave badly?
0:13:56 > 0:14:00How are we supposed to sum up everything we know about humans
0:14:00 > 0:14:01in one short sentence?
0:14:01 > 0:14:05Maybe we're being too negative.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Maybe we need to look at the times
0:14:07 > 0:14:09the humans did good things for one another.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Last night I dreamt I gave Dani a birthday present.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Not a joke one, a proper birthday present.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20What a nightmare, Max.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23It's the kittens. They've been sucking the badness out of me.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25And I thought it was milk.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27I keep trying to think of something diabolical,
0:14:27 > 0:14:32but it's like my head is full of buttercups. And pixie music.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Now you, me and the kittens can watch this DVD
0:14:39 > 0:14:41of Nature's 100 Prettiest Rainbows.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Max, please. Let's do something fun.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Why don't you plan something terrible to do to Dani?
0:14:46 > 0:14:50I have responsibilities, now.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52What would the kittens think?
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- Now, Ben. What's wrong? - My axolotl died.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Your what died?
0:15:01 > 0:15:05- My axolotl, Aristotle. - Your axo-what-what now?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Aristotle, my pet axolotl.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- Your pet axo-what-l?- Lotl. - Your pet axolotl?
0:15:10 > 0:15:11- Aristotle.- Died?
0:15:11 > 0:15:16Aristotle, my pet axolotl, has expired.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Max, there are a ton of strangers at the door dressed in black.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Are you having a funeral for Ben's axo-thingy?
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Dani, I think for once in my life I'm actually doing something...
0:15:27 > 0:15:28..kind.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- I'm as weirded out as you are. - Just don't wreck the house.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35You're the best boyfriend ever.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Come here, you're going to get a kiss for that.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I bet you a scratch to my head she won't make it.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Bet you a scratch to my nose she does! Come on, Dani,
0:15:44 > 0:15:47kiss him! Come on, you know you want to! Try harder than that!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49I can't reach. Air kiss?
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- Air kiss? Who wins that? - Let's call it a draw.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Now, lean forward so I can reach your nose.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57THEY MOAN
0:15:57 > 0:15:59BOTH: Bliss!
0:15:59 > 0:16:01The language of love is kissing.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- You want me to kiss a watermelon? - Beth.- Beth the watermelon?
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Do you want to find out what it's like to love someone or not?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Yeah, but I don't want to find out what it's like to kiss a watermelon.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14This is my girlfriend, Cas, I love her very much,
0:16:14 > 0:16:16and I'm going to kiss her.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22You must have really bad breath.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24# Didn't know what love was
0:16:24 > 0:16:28# Till I saw you
0:16:28 > 0:16:32# You're better than a watermelon
0:16:32 > 0:16:34# Or a canoe. #
0:16:34 > 0:16:36- # Cupid's the name and love is my- game
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- # If I'm not in your song then you're doing it- wrong
0:16:39 > 0:16:42# You want chart position come see the love physician
0:16:42 > 0:16:44# I got romantic rhymes Your lyrics are lies
0:16:44 > 0:16:47# You won't get number one Without dropping the L-bomb
0:16:47 > 0:16:49# Boom, boom, boom, boom! #
0:16:52 > 0:16:53I'm really sorry I called you a geek.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56I'm sorry for everything I said to you.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58And Jack, I'm sorry. You're not dumb.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00JACK MOANS
0:17:00 > 0:17:02It's good to have my bestest friend back.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04BOTH: Squeeeeeze!
0:17:04 > 0:17:06I want to spell it out, I don't care about labels.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09I'm your B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-D.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12"Boyfried?"
0:17:12 > 0:17:13N-D.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Can I have that hug now? Come on.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Bye, guys.- Bye, Sam.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Bye, then.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34MUSIC: "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Oh! Forgot my list! Got to run, bye!
0:17:43 > 0:17:48Again? How many times has a person got to say goodbye?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50You're my best friends.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54# There's not a thing that I would change
0:17:54 > 0:17:59# Cos you're amazing just the way you are. #
0:17:59 > 0:18:02I'm more confused than ever by the humans.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04They make no sense.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Maybe we're just not human enough to work it out for ourselves.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Face it, we're doomed.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12If only we could pop down there and ask the humans for the answers.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Oh, no.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Well, it wouldn't be the first time we've asked for the humans' help.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Max, what's going on?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Greetings, earthlings!
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Take us to your leader!
0:18:31 > 0:18:32I've always wanted to say that.
0:18:32 > 0:18:37We have come from across the stars to deliver a message.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Max, it's aliens!
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Real life aliens! They've come to probe us.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45They're not aliens, Ben.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49I mean, look at their rubbish costumes.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52You're a more convincing alien than these two losers.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54"Tantu-bantu!"
0:18:57 > 0:19:02Behold my funky disco, you alien scumbags.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Help us, Jack. - You're our only hope.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Aaaaagh!
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I'm sorry I said "alien scumbags," just please don't probe me!
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Earth's a pretty amazing place.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20It's not perfect, but does it really deserve to be blown up?
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Look, I guess I've just got a lot of pent-up rage.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27I know. I know. Come on, let it all out.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Come on, let it out.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31ALIEN SIGHS
0:19:41 > 0:19:44I admit we couldn't have done it without Jack the last time,
0:19:44 > 0:19:46but this requires brain power, and, well,
0:19:46 > 0:19:48is Jack still the right man for the job?
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Astronauts must endure extreme physical stress by solving
0:19:52 > 0:19:53complex mental problems.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Whoa, whoa! Back up a minute, Buzz Lightyear.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- You're applying for a job at NASA? - I most certainly am.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00OK, back up a bit further. What's NASA?
0:20:00 > 0:20:03The National Aeronautics And Space Administration.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Back up even more. What do any of those words mean?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- That's it, I'm changing my password. - "Doughnut"?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Ah. I'm changing it again, then.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- "Doughnuts"?- Again!- "Ketchup"?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Are you psychic?
0:20:14 > 0:20:1659,
0:20:16 > 0:20:1860, 61,
0:20:18 > 0:20:2062...
0:20:20 > 0:20:24- Hi, Jack. Looking good. - But he's standing on a...
0:20:24 > 0:20:25Ow!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27You're an inspiration to us all.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31- I realised I can't let anything get in my way.- Not even reality.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39HE SCREAMS
0:20:46 > 0:20:47That's disgusting.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- Jack, what is that? - Hmm? What's what?
0:20:53 > 0:20:56HE GIGGLES
0:21:09 > 0:21:12What are you shouting about? Whoa!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Hold it right there! I am SuperJack!
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Jack is still the best chance we have.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25I'll go and prepare the teleporter.
0:21:26 > 0:21:31Well, it's either this, or we'll never get to see Dani's House again.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34# Who the baddest DJ? Jack the baddest DJ
0:21:34 > 0:21:37# Who the baddest DJ? #
0:21:37 > 0:21:39What's going on?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Greetings, earthling Jack.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46It's tradition round about now for you to scream,
0:21:46 > 0:21:49"Aaaagh! Aliens!"
0:21:56 > 0:22:00- Aaaagh! Aliens!- There it is!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02- Use the remind-o-tron, co-ordinator. - Use the what-what?
0:22:02 > 0:22:05The remind-o-tron, Jack. You've seen it before.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Remind me.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Zang! Zark! How you doing?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Right, what is it this time?
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Oh, don't tell me, Zorlok wants to blow up the earth again.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24We need you to do one simple thing for us.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28We need you to sum up the entirety of human experience
0:22:28 > 0:22:30in one short, snappy soundbite.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35- You want me to do what?- Tell us what it's like to be a human being.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Ah, right. Can I use your loo first?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- Now's not really a good time. - I do my best thinking in there.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Not now, he's here!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47What is this hideous human puss-bag doing here?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Oi, oi! Easy on the "hideous".
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Jack's our answer.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53He's going to show you what it is to be a human being.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Wait a sec.
0:22:56 > 0:22:57Jack, if you don't give Zagro an answer,
0:22:57 > 0:23:00we're going to be exiled to the sixth moon of Yop-Yop-La!
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- Where there's no Dani's House. - Right. No pressure, then.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Well? Speak, human.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Human beings aren't that easy to sum up.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14- We're different from one another. We're confusing.- Told you.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Sometimes we say one thing, but we mean another.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Sometimes we hurt our friends.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Sometimes we fall in love with completely the wrong person.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25You know, human beings are just so...
0:23:26 > 0:23:29..complicated.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Now can I use the little boys' room? I'm actually bursting.
0:23:31 > 0:23:36- Wait. That's it? That's your answer?- Yeah.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40Nothing about cellular composition? No mention of the genetic weaknesses?
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Just some limp nonsense about love?
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Zang, Zark, I have no choice but to fail you.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Oh! That is so not fair!
0:23:49 > 0:23:53Also, I'm requesting a mandatory planetary destruction order.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Blow up the Earth? Again?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Why would you do such a thing?
0:23:57 > 0:24:01Well, if this soppy being is the best humankind has to offer,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04his planet deserves to be erased from the face of the universe.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- Guys, can I use your toilet now? - Now's not really the time.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- Please? It's serious!- Over there.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Not that button! That's the airlock!
0:24:16 > 0:24:21SCREAMING
0:24:37 > 0:24:41- Jack, you saved Zagro's life! - You're a hero, Jack.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Wait a picosecond,
0:24:42 > 0:24:45it was his stupid fault I nearly got sucked out there in the first place.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Well, I could just as easily do it again.- Stop!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53What do you want from me?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Well, I want you to rip up that planetary destruction order,
0:24:58 > 0:24:59and pass Zang and Zark.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02- I'll take an A.- I'll take an A plus.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Zang, Zark, I hereby award you
0:25:06 > 0:25:10full co-ordinator status.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Congratulations.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14THEY LAUGH
0:25:18 > 0:25:22- So.- We'd best be taking you home. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24What, so you two get medals
0:25:24 > 0:25:26and I just get sent back home with my memory eased?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29I at least want to tell people back home about this.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Well, that would contravene with about 12 galactic laws, so...
0:25:32 > 0:25:35- Goodbye, Jack!- Bye!
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Yeah. Bye, guys.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41THEY LAUGH
0:25:47 > 0:25:49- Never a dull day.- Jack, I'm home!
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Perfect timing. And I've still got my memories!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Preparing the amnesia ray.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Ready to wipe Jack's memory in three, two...
0:25:56 > 0:25:58- Wait!- What?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Well, instead of wiping his memory, why don't we replace it?
0:26:01 > 0:26:02Replace it with what?
0:26:02 > 0:26:07A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and, oh, maybe some of that.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I hope you know what you're doing.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Preparing false memory upload in three, two, one!
0:26:13 > 0:26:17- So, how's your day been?- Dani, you would not believe what happened.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21I spend the entire day on a yacht in the south of France,
0:26:21 > 0:26:22with Rihanna.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25You've been in the south of France with Rihanna today?
0:26:25 > 0:26:28She was my date for the World DJ Awards.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29And guess who won the award
0:26:29 > 0:26:32for Best DJ Ever In The History Of The Entire World?
0:26:32 > 0:26:37- Me!- It's been a really long day. - And Jay-Z was there.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40He was like, "Yo, Jack, man. You the man!" I was like, "Thank you, Jay."
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Yeah, I'm going to come back when you've had a dose of reality.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46It's true. It must be true, I remember it happening.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Dani! Dani, come back! Hey!
0:26:48 > 0:26:51I haven't told you about when I got a ride in a Formula One car
0:26:51 > 0:26:52and won the Monaco Grand Prix. Dani!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Whoa!
0:26:54 > 0:26:58- Ah. Well, that could've worked better.- Mmm.
0:26:58 > 0:27:03On the plus side, we passed our exam, helped to save the world,
0:27:03 > 0:27:06and we got to meet someone from our favourite TV show!
0:27:06 > 0:27:08How are we going to top that?
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- More Dani's House?- Works for me!
0:27:11 > 0:27:16# Sometimes I feel like breaking free
0:27:16 > 0:27:18# Let's lift these chains
0:27:18 > 0:27:23# Let's rock this wave right out to sea
0:27:23 > 0:27:28# I will be breaking free. #