0:00:02 > 0:00:04Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Playing by the rules
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Is highly overrated
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# They can't hold us back
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# We'll make the most of every second
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# After all is said and done
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"
0:00:28 > 0:00:33# Nothing's going to bring us down today
0:00:33 > 0:00:38# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Ah, a beautiful Beano Town morning.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58I can't wait to get to school and hand in my homework.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- SCREAMING - A giant mutant bug!
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Huh?
0:01:09 > 0:01:11It eats paper!
0:01:11 > 0:01:16There's only one thing for it, even if it means sacrificing my homework.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Hee-yah!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24CHEERING
0:01:24 > 0:01:28And that's why I don't have my homework.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Bravo! Wonderful, wonderful.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Oh, don't clap. Dennis is clearly lying.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Yes, but with such verve and imagination!
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Class, this is Mr Blake Midwinter.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46He's an actor from the television.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47STUDENTS: Ah!
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Ah-ha! Yes, little boy.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55You may have seen my acclaimed performance as Man in Park
0:01:55 > 0:01:56in that crisps commercial.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57HE CLEARS THROAT
0:01:57 > 0:02:02Nay, squirrel! These are not for you to nibble on!
0:02:02 > 0:02:03End of scene.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05APPLAUSE
0:02:05 > 0:02:10Mr Midwinter is going to help us with this year's school play.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14That's right. Thank you, Mrs C. I'll take it from here.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17We're doing Jack and the Beanstalk
0:02:17 > 0:02:21and I do believe we've already found our Jack.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23HE CLEARS THROAT
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Surely the lead role should go to someone artistic.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Exactly.
0:02:28 > 0:02:33And Dennis here clearly has a wild flair for dramatic improvisation.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I have what now?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38He says you have wild hair for drastic improvement.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Hey! I'm not brushing my hair for anyone!
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Sorry, Mr Midwinter, but I'm out.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Oh, sadness! No!
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Your words strike like arrows at my heart.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Oh, well, the show must go on.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Auditions are tomorrow lunch time.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59But I must warn you, the rehearsals will be very demanding
0:02:59 > 0:03:01and mean missing a lot of lessons.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Miss lessons? Wait! I'm in again!
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Huzzah! A star is born!
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Like you said, the show must go on.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16There are still plenty of parts to audition for and Headmaster De Testa
0:03:16 > 0:03:20has very kindly insisted on helping me choose the rest of the cast.
0:03:20 > 0:03:27Next, we have Angel-Face De Testa reading for the Princess.
0:03:27 > 0:03:32Oh, no! Here comes the giant! Jack, look out!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Bravo! Beautiful.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Such poise! Such grace!
0:03:38 > 0:03:40A perfect princess.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I don't believe we need to see anyone else for the role.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Thanks, Dad.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47OK, everybody, let's rehearse.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Curly and Pie-Face are the giant.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Angel-Face is the Princess, Walter is the bean seller
0:03:54 > 0:03:57and Dennis is our fearless Jack.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01- Please, not autographs. - Hmm!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Now in this extremely moving scene,
0:04:04 > 0:04:09Jack is with one of these most important characters in the play.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- The bean seller! - No!
0:04:12 > 0:04:14No. I mean Jack's cow,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17but who should play the cow?
0:04:17 > 0:04:21Who should play the cow?
0:04:21 > 0:04:26Come on. Come on. You both look marvellous in that costume.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30This isn't even a cow. It's a horse.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Yes, but the magic of theatre will make the audience
0:04:34 > 0:04:36believe it's a cow.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I'm not doing it.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Oh!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42There's a funny smell in there.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Ah, yes. That may be me.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47It's cabbage Thursday in the canteen, you see.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51I've got a much better idea than that mouldy old costume.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- HE WHISTLES - Huh? Gnash! Gnash!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Grr!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Presenting Jack's cow.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Gnash! Moo!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04- A dog can't play a cow. It's... - Genius!
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Oh, yes. It's even better than a horse. It's playful, yet surprising.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10It's very... It's very now.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12I love it.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16OK. Let's get the bean seller scene out of the way and then we can
0:05:16 > 0:05:22move on to the big romantic finale where Jack kisses the Princess.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Right. I'll just... Hang on.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27That sounded like you said something about kissing.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Oh, dear, Dennis. Haven't you read the script?
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Page 30, "Jack gives the Princess a big kiss."
0:05:34 > 0:05:38In front of the whole school!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Kiss a girl?! Eurgh!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Angel-Face, you don't want to kiss me!
0:05:45 > 0:05:47I haven't had a bath in a week!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Of course I don't want to kiss you!
0:05:49 > 0:05:52But the Beano Town Gazette are sending a photographer,
0:05:52 > 0:05:57and if kissing you gets my picture on the front page then I'll do it...
0:05:57 > 0:05:59and scrub my mouth afterwards.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Ha-ha! Everyone will see Dennis the Menace
0:06:02 > 0:06:04smooching the headmaster's daughter!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06HE LAUGHS
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Erm, Mr Midwinter? I'm having second thoughts about the play,
0:06:09 > 0:06:13and third thoughts too, and they're both, "Arg!"
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Well, of course, I can't force you to do the play, Dennis.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I knew you'd understand.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21But if you do drop out...
0:06:21 > 0:06:26I'll make sure you get double all the lessons you've missed.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29So, what do we say?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31The show must go on.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Dennis, what are you going to do?
0:06:33 > 0:06:36If you... Urg!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39..kiss a girl in front of everyone you'll never live it down.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I know, but Mr Midwinter won't let me give up the play.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43ALL GROAN
0:06:43 > 0:06:49Ah-ha! But it wouldn't be my fault if he kicked me out,
0:06:49 > 0:06:51would it?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Morning, everyone. Places, please!
0:06:54 > 0:06:59From the top of act two. Jack climbs the beanstalk and sees the Giant.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04Look, the beans have grown into a huge beanstalk.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I told you they were magic.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Thank you, kind bean seller.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11HE GROANS
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Oh, and don't forget to feed my cow - he must be hungry.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- Gnash! - Ow!
0:07:18 > 0:07:22Fee-fi-fo-fum. I smell the blood of...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24pies!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29I'll defeat you, giant.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32SHOUTING
0:07:34 > 0:07:36HE SCREAMS
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Stop!
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Sorry, Mr Midwinter.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44I totally understand if you don't want me in the play any more,
0:07:44 > 0:07:46so I'll just get going.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48What are you talking about?
0:07:48 > 0:07:52That was brilliant! So raw. So spontaneous.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53So-so in the moment.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57You know, you remind me of a young...me!
0:07:57 > 0:07:58HE GASPS
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- OK. Now let's try the kissing scene. - Eurgh!
0:08:01 > 0:08:03What?
0:08:03 > 0:08:04GNASHER SNIFFS
0:08:04 > 0:08:05GNASHER SNEEZES
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Of course! Thanks, Gnasher.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09OK. Pucker up, Angel-Face.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Eurgh!
0:08:11 > 0:08:12Oh, sorry!
0:08:12 > 0:08:13HE SNORTS
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Just coming down with a bit of a cold.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17HE SNEEZES
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Oh! Keeps your germs to yourself!
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I need to look my best for the paparazzi.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Oh, no. Well, we don't want anyone getting sick before opening night.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Maybe we should skip the kissing scene for now.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Ha-ha! Good old fake snot.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34That should keep me kiss-free till this is all over.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Welcome to Jack and the Beanstalk,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42adapted, choreographed,
0:08:42 > 0:08:48designed and directed by your humble servant Blake Midwinter.
0:08:48 > 0:08:53Look, it's Man in Park from that crisp commercial.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Make sure you get a shot of the most talented actress - my daughter.
0:08:58 > 0:09:05I'm Jack, a humble farmer boy, taking my cow to market.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Gnash! Moo!
0:09:06 > 0:09:11I'll buy your cow for these magic beans.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12HE PARPS
0:09:12 > 0:09:14I think you've had too many beans all ready.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16LAUGHTER
0:09:16 > 0:09:21Right. Just the kissing scene to go. Time for the fake snot.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Ha-ha! Oh. Erm...
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Looking for this?
0:09:25 > 0:09:26HE LAUGHS
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Now you'll have to kiss Angel-Face.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Doh!
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Only one thing for it.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- You mean...?- Yes, Curly. Operation Blackout.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40No, not Operation Blackout!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- What is Operation Blackout? - Well...
0:09:42 > 0:09:44HE WHISPERS
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Hurry up, Dennis!
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Come on, Pie-Face.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53Time for our big scene, and for me to get my picture in the paper.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57You defeated the Giant and won the heart of the Princess.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Grr!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Come on, Curly, don't let me down.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09HE GRUNT
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Oi! Oh, no, you don't!
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- Gnash! - Ew!
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Phew! That was close.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I escaped the kiss of shame...
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Angel-Face got her picture in the paper...
0:10:28 > 0:10:31And we got out of lessons.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I'd say the play was a big hit. Ha-ha!
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Just not the kind Mr Midwinter wanted.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Ah! Ha! Hey!
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- Ouch! - This is all your fault!
0:10:40 > 0:10:43I bet he wishes the show hadn't gone on after all.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45That's showbiz!
0:10:45 > 0:10:47No, that's Menace Biz!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50ALL LAUGH
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Subtitles By Red Bee Media Ltd