I'll Teach You

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:04Ready, Gnasher? Let's go!

0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Playing by the rules

0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Is highly overrated

0:00:10 > 0:00:14# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

0:00:14 > 0:00:17# They can't hold us back

0:00:17 > 0:00:20# We'll make the most of every second

0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

0:00:24 > 0:00:26# After all is said and done, shout

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Fun for all and all for fun!

0:00:28 > 0:00:33# Nothing's going to bring us down today

0:00:33 > 0:00:37# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Come on, class, put some spring in your step!

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Did someone say spring?

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Oh!

0:01:04 > 0:01:06- Whoa!- Yikes!

0:01:09 > 0:01:11I'm going up in the world.

0:01:14 > 0:01:18It's OK. It's just PE. You can handle this.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Man down! Substitute!

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Argh!

0:01:23 > 0:01:25THEY YELL

0:01:34 > 0:01:35It's fine. Everything's fine.

0:01:35 > 0:01:39Strike!

0:01:39 > 0:01:42That...is...it!

0:01:42 > 0:01:44I've had ENOUGH!

0:01:46 > 0:01:48- What's going on?- I'm going on!

0:01:48 > 0:01:53On holiday right now! Class dismissed!

0:01:53 > 0:01:56School as normal tomorrow, all of you.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Oof! That's if I can find someone prepared to take you all.

0:01:59 > 0:02:05Just the essentials. Emergency marking pen, lucky board rubber. Ah!

0:02:05 > 0:02:09"The Beano Town Rest Home for Overstressed Teachers.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11"The perfect place to get back

0:02:11 > 0:02:14"to your rule-making, homework-setting best.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17"No children allowed."

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Sounds perfect!

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Oh!

0:02:26 > 0:02:31We need someone to look after the class and cope with Dennis.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34- You just need to know his little tricks.- Exactly!

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Which gave me an idea. Listen.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42No pets! You know the rules!

0:02:42 > 0:02:45Bet our new teacher won't.

0:02:45 > 0:02:49Settle down and say hello to your new teacher.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51What?

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Hello, everyone, I'm Mrs...

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Oh, just call me Mum, like Dennis does.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Unless he's had a nightmare, and then it's Mummykins. Aw!

0:02:58 > 0:03:00THEY LAUGH

0:03:00 > 0:03:02That was when I was three!

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Ha-ha-ha! Priceless!

0:03:04 > 0:03:07Oh, this is bad, Dennis. What are you going to do?

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Well, a teacher's a teacher. She might be my mum,

0:03:09 > 0:03:13but she'll still have to deal with the new teacher welcome pack.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19Oh! Look out, Miss...I mean, Mum! There's a...

0:03:19 > 0:03:23Don't worry, Walter, I've dealt with Dennis all me life.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Curly, you're up.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Flowers, Miss Mum?- Oh!

0:03:32 > 0:03:34See, I know all their tricks.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Oh! Pie-Face, get me some pencils, please.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Okey-doke, Miss Mum.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41N-o-o-o-o-o!

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Oh! Who put that there?

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Oh. Oh, yeah, I did. Oh! Itchy!

0:03:48 > 0:03:51At least let Gnasher stay. He can't be home alone.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55Oh, what a good idea. We need a class pet.

0:03:55 > 0:03:56THEY COO

0:03:58 > 0:04:01Right, gang, this means war!

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Right, safety goggles on, everyone.

0:04:04 > 0:04:05HE CHUCKLES

0:04:05 > 0:04:09Now, knowing Dennis, he's probably put ink on my goggle rims,

0:04:09 > 0:04:12which is why I've swapped his for mine.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14THEY LAUGH

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Oh! Where's Creecher when you need her?

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Ah!

0:04:19 > 0:04:20This is the life!

0:04:23 > 0:04:26Ah! Good to see you settling in.

0:04:26 > 0:04:31I'm Mr Cheddar, former headmaster and now rest home manager.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34Oh, it feels just like being at school.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36The perfect school.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39One without any children.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44"One times two is two, two times two is four.

0:04:44 > 0:04:49"Three times two is six, four times two is eight."

0:04:49 > 0:04:50Ah!

0:04:50 > 0:04:54All right, class, go and find some creepy-crawlies.

0:04:54 > 0:04:59If she wants creepy-crawlies, let's see how she likes this!

0:04:59 > 0:05:01SCREECHING

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Oh!

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Ah!

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Nice try, but you'll never get one over on Mum.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14She's not human!

0:05:14 > 0:05:16She's like an anti-prank machine!

0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Yes! Yes!- I know!

0:05:19 > 0:05:24And write, two, three, four, wipe, two, three, four.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Oh! It's nice not having to worry

0:05:27 > 0:05:30about turning my back on Dennis.

0:05:30 > 0:05:31Argh! Dennis! Where?!

0:05:31 > 0:05:33No! Where? Oh!

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Fingers on lips!

0:05:37 > 0:05:39We don't say the D word here.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42Half my guests are here because of...

0:05:42 > 0:05:44THEY GASP

0:05:44 > 0:05:46..him!

0:05:46 > 0:05:49It's OK, everyone, another hour of whiteboard yoga

0:05:49 > 0:05:51should calm us all down.

0:05:51 > 0:05:52Another hour?

0:05:52 > 0:05:55You're right. Let's make it two!

0:05:55 > 0:05:59And write, two, three, four.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Goodbye, Miss Mum. Can I say, it's been a pleasure.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04A real education.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07And you smell so nice, too.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10I can't take another day of this!

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Can you take another day of this?

0:06:12 > 0:06:16In fact, have you ever thought about doing this full time?

0:06:16 > 0:06:17THEY YELL

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- We'll never menace again! - We have to get Creecher back!

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Where from? We don't know where she is!

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Gnasher, find her scent!

0:06:31 > 0:06:33A home for overstressed teachers.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35It says no children allowed.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38Not a problem, Curly. Time for plan D and G.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40We look ridiculous!

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Exactly. Just like real teachers.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Where's Gnasher?

0:06:45 > 0:06:48He's my teacher's pet, of course.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50WHISTLE

0:06:53 > 0:06:57So, we just stand here for 90 minutes?

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Of course not! That would be silly!

0:07:00 > 0:07:04- At half-time, we change ends.- Oh!

0:07:08 > 0:07:12New arrivals. I should go and greet them. Carry on without me.

0:07:12 > 0:07:17Carry on what? What's the point without any children?

0:07:17 > 0:07:23Hang on. There's something very familiar about those teachers.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Is this the rest home for overstressed teachers?

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Atchoo!

0:07:31 > 0:07:35He's so stressed, he sneezed his moustache off.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Oh, happens all the time. Come on in.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Take a seat in the staffroom.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46Oh! This is a funny-looking staffroom.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Looks more like a confiscation cupboard.

0:07:50 > 0:07:55That's because it is a confiscation cupboard and you've been confiscated!

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Dopey disguises don't fool me.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00I've seen every trick in the book, twice!

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Now, sit nice and quietly while I call your parents.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05THEY GROAN

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Oh, we'll never get Creecher back!

0:08:08 > 0:08:11My mum's going to teach us for ever!

0:08:11 > 0:08:13There we are.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Oh, you're looking grumpy, Denny-Wenny.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19Do you need Mummykins to burp you?

0:08:19 > 0:08:20LAUGHTER

0:08:20 > 0:08:23No!

0:08:23 > 0:08:26A-ha! I knew it!

0:08:26 > 0:08:30Just what we need(!) How many lines do we get for this, then, Miss?

0:08:30 > 0:08:33None! I'm breaking you out and I'm breaking out with you.

0:08:33 > 0:08:38- Eh?- A school without kids isn't perfect, it's boring!

0:08:38 > 0:08:40At least you lot keep me on me toes.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43- Cool!- Not so fast!

0:08:43 > 0:08:45No-one's ever walked out on me.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48You need another three months' detention!

0:08:48 > 0:08:50I mean, rest.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52We'll see about that!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Eh? Miss?

0:08:58 > 0:09:02Desperate times call for desperate measures.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Boys, let's take 'em down.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17Calm down! I can handle Dennis!

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Stop it! All of you!

0:09:28 > 0:09:31Fingers on lips!

0:09:35 > 0:09:38I'm in charge here! I'm not afraid of you!

0:09:38 > 0:09:41There's only one boy ever got the better of me, and he...

0:09:41 > 0:09:44Hello, Mr Cheddar. I'm here to pick up Dennis.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47..is right here. Argh!

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Great to see you, sir. It's been years.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Wow! That's my patented two-man pie pump.

0:09:54 > 0:09:58The one you confiscated 20 years ago. I wonder if it still works.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03It does still work. Fingers on...!

0:10:03 > 0:10:05LAUGHTER

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Oops! May have got a bit carried away.

0:10:08 > 0:10:09Just go!

0:10:09 > 0:10:12All of you, dismissed!

0:10:13 > 0:10:17You heard him. Gangway!

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Shame to leave this.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24Now Creecher's back, Mum's off our case. Result!

0:10:24 > 0:10:27So let's give Creecher a proper welcome back.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30With your dad's two-man pie pump!

0:10:30 > 0:10:35Correction! With my three-man-and-one-dog pie pump.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Genius wears a striped jumper.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41- Go!- Nice try,

0:10:41 > 0:10:45but I'm confiscating that contraption for another 20 years.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Oh! It's good to be back.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49It's good to have you back, Miss!

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd