0:00:02 > 0:00:03Hoopla!
0:00:03 > 0:00:05# Fire up the van and hit the open road
0:00:05 > 0:00:09# We're putting on a show from a travelling abode
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# Fabulous feats that are crazy and colourful
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Prepare to be amazed by the weird and the wonderful
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# Hoopla
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# Everybody shout Hoopla
0:00:19 > 0:00:21# All together now Hoopla
0:00:21 > 0:00:25# Everybody loves Hoopla
0:00:25 > 0:00:29# There'll be magic mayhem mystery suspense
0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Prizes surprises it's going to be immense
0:00:31 > 0:00:35# From Matlock to Margate Pontefract to Perth
0:00:35 > 0:00:37# It's simply going to be the greatest show on Earth
0:00:37 > 0:00:39# Hoopla
0:00:39 > 0:00:42# Everybody shout Hoopla
0:00:42 > 0:00:45# All together now Hoopla
0:00:45 > 0:00:49# Everybody loves Hoopla. #
0:00:51 > 0:00:52WIND HOWLS
0:00:59 > 0:01:00WHISTLE
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Hoopla! AUDIENCE:- Hoopla.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09APPLAUSE
0:01:09 > 0:01:14And today on Hoopla we come live-ish from the town of Wig Wam Bam,
0:01:14 > 0:01:16famous for its head-bangers.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18# Well, Wig Wam Bam
0:01:18 > 0:01:20# Gonna make you my man
0:01:20 > 0:01:24# Wham bam bam gonna get you if I can
0:01:24 > 0:01:28# Wig Wam Bam wanna make you understand
0:01:28 > 0:01:29# Try a little touch
0:01:29 > 0:01:31# Try a little too much
0:01:31 > 0:01:34# Just try a little Wig Wam Bam! #
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Yes!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38APPLAUSE
0:01:38 > 0:01:43Yes, welcome, welcome, one and all to the greatest show on earth.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Someone will be leaving here today with the Hoopla trophy,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49made out of solid gold paint-effect.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50- AUDIENCE:- Woo!
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Crank it up, Rodney!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54We've got some great acts on today's show.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56You're not going to believe who's here.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58We've got death-defying comedy from John Kimmons!
0:01:58 > 0:01:59APPLAUSE
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- He's gone crazy now.- No!
0:02:03 > 0:02:07My hero's here! Look, on the dodgems, it's P-P-P-P-Paul Daniels.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11My name is Paul Daniels, I am the world's greatest magician.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12- AUDIENCE:- Woo!
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Maybe not.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Some great music on the show today, they're going to rock it,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19it's Reverend And The Makers!
0:02:19 > 0:02:24MUSIC: "The Wrestler" by Reverend And The Makers
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- But what time now? - I'll tell you what time now.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30We start off this Hoopla with some musicians who don't use instruments.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33It's the Swingle Singers!
0:02:33 > 0:02:34APPLAUSE
0:02:38 > 0:02:41One, two, three...
0:02:41 > 0:02:46MUSIC: "Soul Bossa Nova" A CAPPELLA
0:03:35 > 0:03:41MUSIC: "Soul Bossa Nova" A CAPPELLA
0:04:36 > 0:04:39APPLAUSE
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Aah!- Ten seconds to tell us what you thought about that!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56It was brilliant! We loved that.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Anything else?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Ten seconds is up, surely.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04It was really good.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06And now it's time for this.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Here's the first of our four Hoopla games on offer today.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Beware the Hand of Cackamanga!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19One of these people is about to win another golden Hoopla hoop,
0:05:19 > 0:05:25but only if they steer clear of the Hand of Cackamanga!
0:05:28 > 0:05:29Yes, that's right.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Dick's been up all night squeezing his Cackamanga fruit,
0:05:32 > 0:05:34to provide us with Cackamanga juice,
0:05:34 > 0:05:36which I've smeared all over my big fat hand.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Yes. Now, if you get got by it, you're out. Are you ready?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- ALL:- Yes!
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Cackamanga!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48# When you get the Hand of Cackamanga
0:05:48 > 0:05:50# Be sure to get out of the way
0:05:50 > 0:05:53# Ca-ca-ca
0:05:53 > 0:05:55# You're out
0:05:55 > 0:05:57# She's been hit in the face
0:05:57 > 0:05:59# Now she's lost her place
0:05:59 > 0:06:01# She's been Cackamanga'ed
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- # Ca-ca-cackamanga - Ca-ca-cackamanga
0:06:05 > 0:06:07# Who's next?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10# Who's next out of the ra-ace?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13# That big green hand is coming to get you
0:06:13 > 0:06:15# Hand of Cackamanga
0:06:15 > 0:06:18# Ca-ca-cackamanga
0:06:18 > 0:06:21# Get that Cackamanga
0:06:22 > 0:06:23# Sing it back
0:06:23 > 0:06:26# Don't feel faint, it's only paint
0:06:26 > 0:06:28# Stupid Cackamanga
0:06:33 > 0:06:35# Ohhh he just missed
0:06:39 > 0:06:42# Ca-ca-ca ca-ca-ca
0:06:42 > 0:06:45# She's been Cackamanga'ed
0:06:46 > 0:06:48# Yeah!
0:06:48 > 0:06:49# Ca-ca-ca
0:06:49 > 0:06:52# Goodbye mamba it's all over for you
0:06:52 > 0:06:55# If you were a horse you'd be boiled down for glue
0:06:55 > 0:06:58# Try as they may, there's no getting away
0:06:58 > 0:07:02# The dirty, dirty Hand of Cackamanga
0:07:02 > 0:07:05# Goodbye boy in the white car
0:07:05 > 0:07:08# You got naughty Louis
0:07:12 > 0:07:14# She's out of the race, she's been hit in the face
0:07:14 > 0:07:17# Oh yeah, oh yeah
0:07:17 > 0:07:20# White number seven is Louis
0:07:20 > 0:07:22# And he's no longer in the game
0:07:22 > 0:07:25# Who's going to win in the game?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28# Blue
0:07:28 > 0:07:30# It's blue number nine
0:07:30 > 0:07:31# Oh my goodness
0:07:31 > 0:07:33# Who's it going to be?
0:07:33 > 0:07:34# It's Sophie
0:07:34 > 0:07:36# Is it going to be Sophie? No
0:07:38 > 0:07:46# We have a winner, ye-e-eah! #
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Get out!
0:07:47 > 0:07:55- Put it back down.- You've won, you've won! Get out, brilliant!
0:07:55 > 0:07:56We've got a winner!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:07:58 > 0:08:00You didn't get Cacked.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02That means you're going to be in the Finalival,
0:08:02 > 0:08:06- and you've won a golden Hoopla! - So, when you're ready. Hoopla!
0:08:06 > 0:08:07HOOPLA JINGLE
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Look at that camera. Go!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12APPLAUSE
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Yes!- There we are.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31APPLAUSE
0:08:32 > 0:08:36- Are you all right?- Blabalababala.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Just calm down, I can't understand a word you're saying.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Bun derba derba, derba derba berba.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Well, get a tea towel, clean it up, and don't do it again, all right?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- To the Finalival, go on then, see you later.- Banamana.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Prepare to be amazed now.- Oooh-oooh!
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Dibbo bibbo dibbo...
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Waah!
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Abba andabba babba dindo bamba.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Hello! - Hello. - Hello.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05We - are - Barry - and - Gary.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07The - two - headed - man.
0:09:07 > 0:09:13No! - I'm - Barry - you're - Gary. - Right. - Exactly. - Correct.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14Bald - and - Ginger.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17How - unlucky - can - you - be?
0:09:17 > 0:09:21Could - be - worse. - We - used - to - be - three - headed.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23We - don't - talk - about - Sandra.
0:09:25 > 0:09:31People - often - ask, - how - do - you - go - to - the - toilet?
0:09:31 > 0:09:35The - answer - is, - with - great - difficulty.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39My - wife - MY - wife - MY - wife
0:09:39 > 0:09:43went - on - a - holiday - to - the - far - east
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and - saw - a - concert.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47Singapore. - Terrible.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Only - joking, - we - don't - have - a - wife.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Yet.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Now, - our - two - heads - are - better - than - your - one.
0:10:01 > 0:10:06We - can - tell - you - a - story - about - anything - at - all.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Give - us - a - word.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Madam.
0:10:11 > 0:10:12Jumper.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Jumper! - Good - word.
0:10:14 > 0:10:21I - once - made - a - jumper - out - of - my - own - hair.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24It - was - hideously - scratchy.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28And - prone - to - smelling.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33Full - of - nits, - and - itchy.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Every - day - it - got - wet.
0:10:37 > 0:10:43Why - did - I - make - myself - a - hairy - jumper?
0:10:43 > 0:10:45You - might - well - ask.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Because - I - am - daft.
0:10:49 > 0:10:54Every - morning - I - would - put - on - my - jumper,
0:10:54 > 0:11:01and - trousers - made - from - nose - hair
0:11:01 > 0:11:08and - walk - down - the - street - while - children - pointed.
0:11:10 > 0:11:15The - moral - of - this - story - is, - fashion - changes.
0:11:15 > 0:11:21Keep - the - new - ideas - coming.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22APPLAUSE
0:11:22 > 0:11:26Time - to - leave - you - with - a - song.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Hit - it.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38# Me
0:11:38 > 0:11:40# And
0:11:40 > 0:11:41# My
0:11:41 > 0:11:44# Shadow
0:11:44 > 0:11:51# Walking - down - the - avenue... #
0:11:51 > 0:11:52That's lovely, that.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56# Me
0:11:56 > 0:11:58# And - my
0:11:58 > 0:12:01# Shadow
0:12:01 > 0:12:08# Not - a - soul - can - bust - this - team - in - two
0:12:08 > 0:12:10BOTH: # We stick together like glue! #
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Thank - you.
0:12:19 > 0:12:24I don't care what any of you say, my nose is real.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27My mother bought it for me in Margate.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30And now for something else entirely.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31BOING!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Ladies and gentlemen, it's Hoopla game number two.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36The Finalival awaits the brave winner
0:12:36 > 0:12:40of the impossible Assault Course of Doom!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Yeah! Assault Course of Doom!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Your chance to win yourselves another golden Hoopla hoop,
0:12:49 > 0:12:52and earn your place in the Finalival at the end of the show.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Who are you?- James. - Who are you?- Sarah.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Right, they've got to get through the most difficult
0:12:57 > 0:12:58assault course in the world.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- Oooh. AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03And this is Sergeant Jamaica,
0:13:03 > 0:13:05who'll make sure you do the assault course properly.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Let me take you through it. First, mind the step!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Get round the jammy rods, don't get it on you.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Here's the buzzy thing,
0:13:11 > 0:13:14you've got to get it round without touching the metal.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Get under that, cos a candle's burning the rope,
0:13:16 > 0:13:17and you might get that chopped off.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Then you've got to get under the pipes,
0:13:19 > 0:13:21don't touch the taps or you might get wet.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Then go past the punch-bag.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Try and miss it!
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Through the Cackamanga pool, and there you are, ladies and gentlemen.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30And it's going to be the one who completes it in the fastest time
0:13:30 > 0:13:32that is going to be going through to the Finalival.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Do you understand the assault course?
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- Yeah.- Good. Well, it looks difficult enough as it is,
0:13:37 > 0:13:38but it's even more difficult,
0:13:38 > 0:13:40as you're going to be wearing blindfolds
0:13:40 > 0:13:41so you don't see what is going on.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- So, put that on there.- We'll have to take your hat off.- Don't be shy.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Make sure they can't see.
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Right, now...
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Before the game begins, before you do the Assault Course of Doom,
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Sergeant Jamaica is going to do a jig.
0:13:54 > 0:14:00MUSIC: "Auld Lang Syne" Ska Version
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Oh, wonderful!
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Lovely, ladies and gentlemen.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14OK!
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- So...- OK.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20The assault course floor...
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Is all set up and ready to go.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Sarah...you're the taller one, so you go first.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29There we go. Mind the step. Step over the step, a minute.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Can you feel the step? Right, just step over that.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33- Right, down the other side. - Good.- OK.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- So, can you remember what's first? - Yeah.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40- What was first?- The jammy sticks. - The jammy sticks, OK, so...
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Are we ready?- Yeah. - Your time starts now, go!
0:14:43 > 0:14:45OK, come on, work, work your way through,
0:14:45 > 0:14:47let me see some effort there, come on!
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Right, through those jammy sticks, come on, what's the matter with you?
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Get some speed on!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- OK, right.- You need a good time on this! Right.- Hold the rod.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57That's the rod!
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Remember, there's a penalty...
0:14:58 > 0:15:00BUZZ
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- That's it. Right, get down! - Get under it, get down.- Get down!
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- Now, crawl through.- OK. - The candle's burning.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Right, come on, get moving! What's wrong with you?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Come on!
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- Now, do you remember what's next? - The taps.- The taps, the pipes.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20Right, so get down! Get down and through the taps, under the piping.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22This way! What is wrong with you?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Show some intelligence, come on!
0:15:24 > 0:15:28Get through it! On my right. Keep going!
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Stand up.- Get up, stand up.
0:15:30 > 0:15:36- OK.- You are not finished yet, keep going. Through there.- Through there.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38- Get angry.- Aah!- I want to see your war face, come on!
0:15:38 > 0:15:42- Through the Cacka pool. Ready? - Right!- Ready?- Through the Cackamats.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43She's done it!
0:15:43 > 0:15:45AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Well done! You did it.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- She did it! - Good effort, good effort.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55One minute thirty. Rich, one minute thirty to beat.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- One minute thirty to beat, James, are you ready?- I am ready.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01OK, let's get you over the step. Careful, lift up your leg. That's it.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Over the step. Down the other side.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- And your time starts...now! Go. - Jammy rods, get it moving.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- Let's see you wiggle! Wiggle through them, son.- Round them!
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- Get round 'em. OK, we're right. - The buzzy thing, the buzzy thing.
0:16:14 > 0:16:1730 second penalty point if you touch it, if you buzz.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18BUZZ
0:16:18 > 0:16:21No! Right, good one. On to the guillotine.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- 30 second penalty, yes.- Good man.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28- Ooh... Oh!- Nearly, right.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Under the taps. Keep going. Get low!
0:16:31 > 0:16:35- Get yourself down and get low. - Don't touch the tap! Oh, no!
0:16:35 > 0:16:38He's touched the tap!
0:16:38 > 0:16:42- He's touched the tap!- Oi! This way, where are you going?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- DICK SQUAWKS WITH LAUGHTER - Through the punchbag.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Through the punchbag, let me see your war face!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50OK, through. Good.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- Through the pool! - Through the Cackamats.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Keep going, keep going.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57GONG
0:16:57 > 0:17:00APPLAUSE
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- Your time, James... - Good effort.- Was...
0:17:04 > 0:17:06..one minute twenty.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- James, you did it! - Well done. Well done!
0:17:08 > 0:17:10That's fantastic news.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12And now, just have a look back at that assault course
0:17:12 > 0:17:15that you managed to conquer.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16- Three, two, one, go.- There it is.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18That's your assault course.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23It's done! It's a joke! It was a joke!
0:17:23 > 0:17:26You see, the game we really wanted to play
0:17:26 > 0:17:31was who can put their shoe on their head the fastest? Go!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Let me see some effort, get those shoes off!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Get your knees up, get the shoe on your head!
0:17:35 > 0:17:36- Sarah!- Sarah is the winner! - Well done.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37So...
0:17:37 > 0:17:41Which concludes that all of that was a complete waste of airtime.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43That was much quicker. We should've just done that.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Right, that means that Sarah gets the golden Hoopla hoop,
0:17:45 > 0:17:47you're going to be in the Finalival.
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Go and dry yourself off, James.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Here's the hoop, you've got 20 seconds in which to...
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Hoopla!
0:17:54 > 0:17:55HOOPLA JINGLE
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Come on, get those hips moving! I want to see you move those hips!
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Keep moving, pick it up! Pick it up!
0:18:00 > 0:18:03What is wrong with you? Have you got no intelligence?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05You horrible little woman! What is wrong with you?
0:18:05 > 0:18:08I don't want you on this assault course any more.
0:18:08 > 0:18:14Do I make myself clear? Are you getting it now? Soldier? Eh?
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- Right, now, come on.- Take her away. Good effort, good effort.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Is anyone ready for a bit of comedy?
0:18:21 > 0:18:22- AUDIENCE:- Yay!
0:18:22 > 0:18:27You're going to love this. Please welcome to Hoopla, John Kimmons!
0:18:27 > 0:18:29APPLAUSE
0:18:29 > 0:18:30Thank you.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Thank you, thank you, thank you.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I'm just finishing off my picture,
0:18:37 > 0:18:39I'm going to just put the hair in.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41It's great, this. Do you like my picture?
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- AUDIENCE: Yeah!- It's good, isn't it? I'm doing all the hair, the hair.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Lots of - how do you do silly hair like that?
0:18:46 > 0:18:47MUFFLED: It's rubbish!
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Pardon? I've got lots of hair, like this.- It's rubbish.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53- What did you say? - I said it's rubbish!
0:18:53 > 0:18:55No, it's not rubbish, is it? It's good, isn't it?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57We're going top put an ear and an ear...
0:18:57 > 0:18:59And an ear and an ear.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- That's fantastic, look at that. - It's rubbish.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- It's good, that, isn't it? - No, it's rubbish.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Do you want to see my friend inside here?
0:19:06 > 0:19:10- AUDIENCE: Yes!- Come on out, and say hello to everybody.- Really, me?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- Yes, you. Come on out and say hello. - Yeah, me?- Yeah.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Ha ha ha ha! Hello, hello, hello!
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- Don't be frightened, children.- No! - I live under your bed.- No, hey!
0:19:20 > 0:19:22LAUGHTER
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Ha ha ha ha ha!
0:19:24 > 0:19:28- Look round the room...- Hello, lady! - What, the lady there?- Yeah.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32- I've been talking to her. - I know.- Yeah.- I like the lady.- Yeah?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34- LADY: I like you too!- Wahey!
0:19:36 > 0:19:40- Don't be rude. I'm sorry, he's not very clever.- Isn't he?- No, not him!
0:19:40 > 0:19:42- You.- Me? I'm cleverer than you.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- What did you say?- I said I'm cleverer than you.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- You're cleverer than me? - Yeah, you're thick.- Oh, really?!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- I'll test you.- Go on, then. Test me. - I'll test you. Look at that.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- Look at that.- Look at that. - It's your hand.- I know it's my hand.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57I've got ten apples in my hand.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01LAUGHTER
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- He's gone crazy now.- No!
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- I've got 20 apples in the other hand...- Yeah?- What have I got?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- Very big hands.- Not very big hands!
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- What if you had £85 in one pocket...?- Yeah?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- And £65 in the other pocket...? - Yeah?- What would you have then?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Somebody else's trousers.- No!
0:20:22 > 0:20:23I'm sorry. Face that way.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27He's come along, he's ruined this entire thing.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- I was trying to draw a picture... - That's rubbish.- It's not rubbish.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- That's artwork.- It's rubbish. The worst thing I've ever seen.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37- It's so ugly.- Ugly? - Who are you calling ugly?
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Wait a minute. You've got to go away. Get inside there.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Get inside there.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- I'm sorry. Are you talking now? - Yeah.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- There's people watching.- Hello. Aren't they ugly, hey?
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- He can't say that. Apologise. - Sorry.- That's better.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- I'm sorry you're so ugly.- Hey!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- Look at all the girls in the crowd. - Yeah?- Yeah.- They've got big ears.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02They've not got big ears.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05- What about the boys then? - Big noses.- Hey!
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- Tell them what you think of me. - You've got a big mouth.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13A big mouth?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- I meant my new shirt. What do you think of this?- It's your big belly.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21I've got a secret weapon with me. He should have told me he could talk.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23It's like Harry Potter, isn't it? A talking picture.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25It's just like Harry Potter
0:21:25 > 0:21:28but different enough not to infringe any copyrights.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32- I can get rid of you with this. This is a board rubber.- Why's it bored?
0:21:32 > 0:21:33- Has it seen you?- No.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- I can do it now.- No. Shall I do it now?
0:21:37 > 0:21:40AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:21:40 > 0:21:43No! No! No! No!
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- NO!- Yeah.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- Now, what do you think? - I'm a skinhead.- You are a skinhead.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- I look like that man. - You do not look like that man.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54I'm sorry.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56- I'm going to make him lose some weight.- You should try it.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02- Excuse me, I'm getting in shape. - Round.- Oh!
0:22:04 > 0:22:08- I can make him disappear. - No. No. No!- Yeah.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- Now, what do you think?- I feel faint.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13I'm going to get rid of that and that. What do you say now?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Eh?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17He can't hear me now. I'll get rid of that bit there.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21- Not me nose - I can't talk properly now.- I don't care.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24With your mouth out, you'll not be talking at all.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26CHARLIE MUMBLES
0:22:26 > 0:22:28I'll get rid of his eyes, and he'll be gone,
0:22:28 > 0:22:31and don't worry cos we'll never be hearing from him again.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35I'm so sorry about that, that was my friend Charlie.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Let's have a nice big round of applause for him.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Thanks so much. Thank you.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Oi, you, you and you, turn around.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Right, sum up that in ten seconds
0:22:52 > 0:22:54using one word each.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- Fantastic.- Clever.- Amazing.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59- Funny.- Pretty.- Awesome.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00TIME-UP BELL SOUNDS
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- Let's see what's happening with the rest of this weeks show.- Badoing.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Yes.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Plenty more Top Hat entertainment to come from -
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Reverend And The Makers and Paul Daniels.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Plus, loads more Hoopla-style games,
0:23:13 > 0:23:15leading to that all important Finalival,
0:23:15 > 0:23:22where one lucky winner will receive a prize money just cannot buy!
0:23:22 > 0:23:23But first...
0:23:24 > 0:23:27# We were very happy
0:23:27 > 0:23:30# Well, at least I thought we were
0:23:30 > 0:23:34# Can somebody tell me
0:23:34 > 0:23:36# What got into her?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39# We had a house and home and a family
0:23:40 > 0:23:43# And a man that loved her so
0:23:44 > 0:23:50- # Who'd believe she'd leave us to join a- HOOPLA- show
0:23:52 > 0:23:58# Whoa, say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose?
0:23:58 > 0:24:03# Here's a picture when she was my sweet Mary-Jo
0:24:03 > 0:24:08# Now she's got rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
0:24:08 > 0:24:14# Say has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose? #
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Here I am!
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Hiya. I'm Gypsy Rose Dick.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Some people like to call me GYPsy Rose, didn't you know?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24So called because...
0:24:24 > 0:24:27BURP! PRRRPPPTTT!
0:24:27 > 0:24:28SPLOSH!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32It's all happening today, isn't it?
0:24:32 > 0:24:33These are my cards.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36At the end of this game, someone's going to win another one of these!
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Yes, a Golden Hoopla Hoop.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:24:41 > 0:24:48Show me some respect!
0:24:48 > 0:24:50AUDIENCE: Sorry.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54It's all right. Let's meet today's contestants for my Cards of Fate.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Please welcome up Reuben and Les - up you come, boys.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Lovely. You're in for a treat today.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02I've been cooking all week - all me favourites.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Hiya, Reuben. A round of applause for Reuben.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06AUDIENCE APPLAUSE Lovely. Oh, they like you.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Hello, Les. A round of applause for Les.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Let's get on with the game. Reuben, you're going to pick first.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Let me do my rhyme.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Cards, cards, I'm the cook, they will eat it then I'll burp,
0:25:16 > 0:25:17pump and chuck.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20BURP! PRRRPPPTTT!
0:25:20 > 0:25:21SPLOSH!
0:25:21 > 0:25:25It's coming out at all ends. Right, Reuben, pick a card.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28What's Les going to be eating? Hold it up.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Show everyone at home.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Cold tomato soup, Les.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Lovely. That's not a bad start, is it?
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Ten seconds to eat as many spoonfuls as you can.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Make sure you swallow it. Go!
0:25:40 > 0:25:42One, two,
0:25:42 > 0:25:44three, four,
0:25:44 > 0:25:49- five, six, seven...- STOP IT!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52You liked that, didn't you? Stop, Les.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55That means eight of these lovely spoonfuls of tomato soup...
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Three, four,
0:25:56 > 0:26:00five, six, seven, eight - go in your lush pint, Reuben.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01Does is look nice?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- No.- Lovely. Your turn to choose the cards.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07I'm the cook, if they eat it I'm going to burp, pump and chuck.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09BURP! PRRRPPPTTT!
0:26:09 > 0:26:11SPLOSH!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Off you go, Les.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16What you got? Cream cheese.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20You started off all right, ain't you? Is this cream cheese? Lovely.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Ten seconds. Off you go.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23Make sure you swallow it.
0:26:23 > 0:26:28One, two...he's going for a big...oh!
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Three...four...
0:26:30 > 0:26:33STOP IT!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Make sure you swallow it, Reuben.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Let's see your mouth.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42There we are - a cream cheese coated tongue. You get four.
0:26:42 > 0:26:47One, two...one on table, two, three, four! Lovely. Right then.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Back to you, Reuben. Time for you to pick a card! I'm the cook.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55If they eat it I'm going to burp, pump and chuck.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58BURP! PRRRPPPTTT!
0:26:58 > 0:26:59SPLOSH!
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Go on, Reuben. Show it to everyone at home. Honey.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04# Honey bee, where's the honey? #
0:27:04 > 0:27:06There we are, Les.
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Ten seconds start now.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Sweet as honey.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Very sweet. Two.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Can he swallow it? He has.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- Three...- STOP IT!
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Can he swallow the lot? Yes, it's gone. Well done, Les.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Three of them with your tomato soup.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25A nice little mixture coming together.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Cards, cards, I'm the cook, If they eat it I'm going to burp,
0:27:28 > 0:27:29pump and chuck.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31BURP! PRRRPPPTTT!
0:27:31 > 0:27:33SPLOSH!
0:27:33 > 0:27:35What a mess. Go on, Les.
0:27:35 > 0:27:36What you got?
0:27:36 > 0:27:42Mushy peas. I knew Reuben wanted the mushy peas. There you are, Reuben.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Ten seconds start now.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Nice and cold they are.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Just how you like them. That's two.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50He's taking big spoonfuls. Three. Oh!
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Make sure you swallow it. Four.
0:27:54 > 0:27:55- STOP IT!- Can he swallow it?
0:27:55 > 0:28:00Get it down you. Three mouthfuls of cold mushy stuff.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Go on.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Come on. It will go in his pint if you can do it.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Yes! Well done.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13One of them. Two of them. Three of them. Oh, that will be nice.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Right, back to the cards.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Cards, cards I'm the cook, if they eat it I'll burp, pump and chuck.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21BURP! PRRRPPPTTT!
0:28:21 > 0:28:24SPLOSH!
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Pick a card, Reuben.
0:28:26 > 0:28:27What you got?
0:28:28 > 0:28:34Tuna! Oh, Les, one of my favourites. Here you are. Tuna in the brine.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36There it is for you. Ten seconds start now.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40I can smell it from here.
0:28:40 > 0:28:41Two.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Remember, these are going in your lush pint, Reuben.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47- Will he do three?- STOP IT!
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Is it going down the hatch?
0:28:50 > 0:28:52It's gone!
0:28:52 > 0:28:57That means, Reuben, one, two three - how do you feel about that?
0:28:57 > 0:28:58Not good.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Les, your turn to pick.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05Cards, cards, I'm the cook, they will eat it and I'm going to burp,
0:29:05 > 0:29:07pump and chuck.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09BURP! PRRRPPPTTT!
0:29:09 > 0:29:11SPLOSH!
0:29:11 > 0:29:12Go on then. Pick.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Show everyone at home. You've got houmous. Nice.
0:29:17 > 0:29:19A nice bit of garlic and chickpeas.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Ten seconds start now.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25One, two, three, no more kissing the
0:29:25 > 0:29:29girls, four...oh!
0:29:31 > 0:29:32STOP IT!
0:29:32 > 0:29:34You just about got five there.
0:29:34 > 0:29:38Right, one, two, have a bit more. I know how much you like the food.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Lovely. That's the end of the game.
0:29:40 > 0:29:44It's time to get out Dick's Mystic Mixes. There they are.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Hold on to your pints tightly.
0:29:47 > 0:29:51I'm going to mix them up and you're going to down them Here we go.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54RUMBLING AND SPLOSHING
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Down your pint.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05The first person to down it and put it on their head is the winner. Go!
0:30:06 > 0:30:08Oh!
0:30:10 > 0:30:11I've seen some sights in my time.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Go on, Reuben! Oh!
0:30:15 > 0:30:19Cut it out, Reuben, that's not going to end the game. You down it.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25Who's going to win this one - this is...this is...oh.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30They're about neck and neck. Go on, Les.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Oh, Les is thinking about it.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36You're nearly there. Come on. One more gulp. Oh.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40Oh. Yes, we got a winner!
0:30:42 > 0:30:45Congratulations, Rueben. Hard luck, Les. What was wrong with it?
0:30:45 > 0:30:47That was horrible.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50Looks all right to me. Off you go then, Les.
0:30:50 > 0:30:51Give him a round of applause.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Well done, Les.
0:30:53 > 0:30:54Reuben, you're the winner. Let me get
0:30:54 > 0:30:56your hoop. Here you are.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57Look what you've won!
0:30:57 > 0:30:59Stand over here.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05A place in the Finalival, but first 20 seconds in which to Hoopla!
0:31:05 > 0:31:08AUDIENCE CHEER
0:31:11 > 0:31:12Keep going.
0:31:14 > 0:31:15Keep going.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Keep going.
0:31:18 > 0:31:19Come on, Reuben.
0:31:22 > 0:31:23Keep going.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27Lovely!
0:31:27 > 0:31:30The Kid Clown will take you away, we'll see you later on.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Tara. It were great today, weren't it?
0:31:34 > 0:31:37GET OUT! NOW! Cos it's time for Reverend And The Makers.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:31:39 > 0:31:42MUSIC: "The Wrestler" by Reverend And The Makers
0:31:54 > 0:31:57# The warmth of the old The thrill of the new
0:31:57 > 0:32:00# But he won't be told Now he's taken the view
0:32:00 > 0:32:06# That the guilt is a foe that he'd much rather fight tomorrow
0:32:06 > 0:32:09# He's taking her home He's had a few
0:32:09 > 0:32:13# Sally is sold because she's had a few too
0:32:13 > 0:32:18# But the guilt is a foe that they'd both rather fight tomorrow
0:32:18 > 0:32:22# So if you grapple get a grip quick, don't slip tonight
0:32:22 > 0:32:25# No stone cold speed No men in tights
0:32:25 > 0:32:29# But there's a one, two, three when your conscience pins you down
0:32:30 > 0:32:34# You can come at it with a drop kick, it's quick to scar
0:32:34 > 0:32:38# And turn a tussle into no holds barred
0:32:38 > 0:32:41# You are the wrestler, and your conscience pins you down
0:32:44 > 0:32:47# Preventing the pouts, persuading the doubts
0:32:47 > 0:32:50# Removing the chance of ever being found out
0:32:50 > 0:32:54# Time goes, take two, so they'll tag team till tomorrow
0:32:57 > 0:33:00# The warmth of the old The thrill of the new
0:33:00 > 0:33:03# But he won't be told Now he's taken the view
0:33:03 > 0:33:08# That the guilt is a foe that they'd both rather fight tomorrow
0:33:08 > 0:33:11# So if you grapple get a grip quick, don't slip tonight
0:33:11 > 0:33:15# No stone cold speed No men in tights
0:33:15 > 0:33:20# But there's a one, two, three when your conscience pins you down
0:33:20 > 0:33:24# You can come at it with a drop kick, it's quick to scar
0:33:24 > 0:33:27# And turn a tussle into no holds barred
0:33:27 > 0:33:33# You are the wrestler, and your conscience pins you down
0:33:34 > 0:33:37# I bet everyone's been a wrestler before
0:33:37 > 0:33:40# Until you find that can't have her more
0:33:40 > 0:33:43# I bet everyone's been a wrestler before
0:33:43 > 0:33:46# Until you find out that you can't have her more
0:33:46 > 0:33:49# I bet everyone's been a wrestler before
0:33:49 > 0:33:52# Until you find out that you can't have her more
0:33:52 > 0:33:55# I bet everyone's been a wrestler before
0:33:55 > 0:33:59# Until you find out that can't have her more
0:34:00 > 0:34:04# So if you grapple get a grip quick, don't slip tonight
0:34:04 > 0:34:08# No stone cold speed No men in tights
0:34:08 > 0:34:13# But there's a one, two, three when your conscience pins you down
0:34:13 > 0:34:17# You can come at it with a drop kick, it's quick to scar
0:34:17 > 0:34:20# And turn a tussle into no holds barred
0:34:20 > 0:34:25# You are the wrestler, and your conscience pins you down. #
0:34:25 > 0:34:28AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:34:35 > 0:34:38That was all right, wasn't it?
0:34:38 > 0:34:41The Wrestler - Jackie Pallo, Giant Haystacks and all that.
0:34:41 > 0:34:45I've been writing a song myself. Took me three years. Ready?
0:34:45 > 0:34:47# Gravel, gravel ten mile gravel
0:34:47 > 0:34:49# Ten mile wash going to stick it on me drive
0:34:49 > 0:34:51# Stick it on me drive cos it's ten mile wash
0:34:51 > 0:34:52# I like gravel in the... #
0:34:53 > 0:34:57Who will be joining the sublime Sophie, the superb Sarah
0:34:57 > 0:35:01and the remarkable Reuben in our spectacular Finalival?
0:35:01 > 0:35:05Let's find out as we play Roger Malcolm's Hat Full of Fear.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14Well, hello, and welcome once again to Roger Malcolm's Hat Full of Fear.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Are you all right? How's Steven? How's Auntie Valerie?
0:35:16 > 0:35:19Is her leg better? I don't know why I'm saying that - it's not spooky.
0:35:19 > 0:35:23Let's meet today's contestant. Hello, Steven, what's your name?
0:35:23 > 0:35:29- Samuel.- All right, Adrian. Do you spook easily?- Sometimes.- Sometimes?
0:35:29 > 0:35:33Let's hope not today because getting spooked will make you fail.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35You're in the game to win this lovely golden Hoopla
0:35:35 > 0:35:38and a place in the Finalival a little bit later on.
0:35:38 > 0:35:41- Do you want to win?- Yes, I do.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Only the bravest can survive my terrifying ghost train.
0:35:43 > 0:35:47The rules are simple - don't spill the juice from your head gear,
0:35:47 > 0:35:50and when you're in the train inside my ghostly, spooky,
0:35:50 > 0:35:55nightmare, horror, misery world, don't touch your helmet.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57- Do you understand?- Yes.- All right.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00Before you ride my ghost train, I can't let you go in there
0:36:00 > 0:36:03without a ding, so - # Gimme, gimme, gimme that ding. #
0:36:03 > 0:36:04DING
0:36:04 > 0:36:07Shove off! Bye-bye.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10ROGER LAUGHS
0:36:16 > 0:36:18SCREAMING
0:36:18 > 0:36:21Voice: Big, sloppy grandmother kisses.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24ROGER LAUGHS
0:36:26 > 0:36:28HOWLING
0:36:28 > 0:36:29GABRIEL SHOUTS
0:36:33 > 0:36:34AUDIENCE CHEER
0:36:38 > 0:36:40Well, well, well.
0:36:40 > 0:36:44You've made a nasty mess. Step out, please.
0:36:44 > 0:36:48Step out of your little train. Don't spill it - very carefully.
0:36:48 > 0:36:53That's right, Damien. Right, has there been any cheating?
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Gabriel, has there been any cheating?
0:36:55 > 0:36:59No, Roger, he was a very good boy. He never touched his helmet.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04That's absolutely fantastic, Gerald, you didn't touch your helmet.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06Let's have a little measure.
0:37:06 > 0:37:10That is two of your Earth centimetres. Very well done.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12Let's hear it!
0:37:16 > 0:37:19The beautiful clown of the Hoopla.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Come along, let's meet contestant number two.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Contestant number two, what's your name, my dear?
0:37:23 > 0:37:27- It's Kate.- Kate, that's a lovely name. Do you spook easily, Kate?
0:37:27 > 0:37:29- Sometimes.- Sometimes.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31What if Jedward were in your wardrobe,
0:37:31 > 0:37:34doing a very tricky crossword, wearing shiny shoes?
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- Not really.- I think that would be very very spooky.
0:37:37 > 0:37:38I'd phone the police.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40You know what's going on.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42You can't spill this juice from your head gear.
0:37:42 > 0:37:46- Whatever you do, don't touch your helmet! Do you understand?- Yeah.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48All right. Very best of luck. Oh!
0:37:48 > 0:37:51Before you go I've got to give you a ding so -
0:37:51 > 0:37:53# Gimme, gimme, gimme that ding. #
0:37:53 > 0:37:54DING
0:37:54 > 0:37:57That was a very strange vocal delivery from me, but there we are.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Off we go! Shove off!
0:37:59 > 0:38:02MAN LAUGHS
0:38:02 > 0:38:05I don't know what's going on.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09VOICE: Double history, every single day.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Two centimetres to beat - will she do it?
0:38:13 > 0:38:15CACKLING
0:38:18 > 0:38:19- Aaah!- Ahhh!
0:38:20 > 0:38:23A scream. A scream. Yes.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25AUDIENCE CHEER
0:38:27 > 0:38:29You are very naughty.
0:38:29 > 0:38:33I scared her, Roger, I scared her.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35Very well done, Gabriel. Kate, if you just step out.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37Very carefully step out.
0:38:37 > 0:38:42- Oh, deary me. Gabriel, did she cheat inside?- No, she was very good.
0:38:42 > 0:38:50- She never touched her helmet.- That's good, very good, Kate.- Oh, my days.
0:38:50 > 0:38:51Hang on a minute.
0:38:51 > 0:38:55You look spooky and scared now, Kate. This is marvellous.
0:38:55 > 0:38:58Two centimetres to beat.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Let's have a look.
0:39:00 > 0:39:04Four of your Earth centimetres. Kate is the winner.
0:39:07 > 0:39:13Kate, if you just step down. The ghost of all things spooky.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16You put this over your head and you do a nice Hula dance.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19But only when I start singing. OK, are you ready?
0:39:19 > 0:39:20Here we go.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22# Gimme that, gimme that, gimme, gimme, gimme that
0:39:22 > 0:39:24# Gimme that ding, gimme that
0:39:24 > 0:39:26# Gimme, gimme that, gimme that ding
0:39:26 > 0:39:30# Gimme that gimme, gimme that, gimme, gimme, gimme that ding. #
0:39:30 > 0:39:33Wasn't that absolutely adorable?
0:39:34 > 0:39:36Well played. She'll be in the Finalival later.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40What's next? Oh, I don't know. Oh, yes, a fantastic magician.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43- Ladies and gentlemen...- Who is it, Roger?- I'm going to tell them.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45It's Paul Daniels!
0:39:49 > 0:39:51Roll up, roll up, roll up and listen to this.
0:39:51 > 0:39:56My name is Paul Daniels. I am the world's greatest magician.
0:39:56 > 0:39:57- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Maybe not. Anyway, yes.
0:39:59 > 0:40:03In 1780... This is a history lesson cos I know you love school.
0:40:03 > 0:40:08In 1780 a lady called Mary Toft gave birth to rabbits.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Well, she said she did.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12And the magicians didn't believe her.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16So they started to do a trick to take the mickey out of her, really.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20What it was, they would borrow a top hat because in those days
0:40:20 > 0:40:24audiences would come to a show and they would be so elegant.
0:40:24 > 0:40:25Times have changed.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28And so they would borrow a top hat
0:40:28 > 0:40:31and then they would produce a rabbit from it and it became the badge,
0:40:31 > 0:40:33the logo of every magician ever since.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36But now you never see it.
0:40:36 > 0:40:37AUDIENCE: Aww!
0:40:37 > 0:40:40So I thought I should show you this wonderful trick.
0:40:40 > 0:40:44It is my pleasure and privilege to show you the wonderful
0:40:44 > 0:40:46rabbit from a hat.
0:40:46 > 0:40:47CHEERING
0:40:48 > 0:40:51No...just throw money. Now, this...
0:40:57 > 0:41:01This is nothing to do with the trick, but all magicians do it.
0:41:02 > 0:41:08So, you need a hat. There's nothing in here, or here, or here, or here.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12Please remember that whilst doing the trick and that I...I...
0:41:16 > 0:41:21Now. A rabbit from a hat. Nothing here, nothing here.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23And what I'm going to do, ladies and gentlemen,
0:41:23 > 0:41:25is produce a rabbit from...
0:41:26 > 0:41:29I shall stand at this end of the table.
0:41:30 > 0:41:37Now, please note - nothing, nothing. Not a lot. Now.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41Get ready for the...
0:41:41 > 0:41:45I shall keep hold of the hat whilst producing a rabbit from it.
0:41:46 > 0:41:50One of the best kept secrets in the world of magic.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54ALARM BLARES
0:41:55 > 0:41:58It's coming by train.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08Millions have been fooled.
0:42:21 > 0:42:23This end, I said.
0:42:23 > 0:42:24AUDIENCE MEMBER: That end!
0:42:24 > 0:42:27You think? I'll go that end. Ladies and gentlemen...
0:42:29 > 0:42:32Due to a heckler that I cannot pick on...
0:42:33 > 0:42:37..I shall now produce a rabbit from a hat.
0:42:45 > 0:42:48I shall sneak up on the pesky wabbit.
0:42:53 > 0:42:58Oh, calamity! The curtain has fallen from the front.
0:42:58 > 0:43:02Why didn't you tell me? Look, we'll have to start again.
0:43:03 > 0:43:07We'll have to start again. I'm sorry about that.
0:43:07 > 0:43:08OK.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10ENGINE ROARS
0:43:18 > 0:43:20AUDIENCE MEMBER: The rabbit went off on a motor car!
0:43:20 > 0:43:22Oh, no, it didn't!
0:43:22 > 0:43:24AUDIENCE: Oh, yes, it did!
0:43:24 > 0:43:27Oh, no, it didn't. Did you?
0:43:30 > 0:43:32Come on, baby. Up!
0:43:35 > 0:43:37A rabbit from a hat.
0:43:41 > 0:43:45My hero! My hero! My hero! My hero! My hero!
0:43:47 > 0:43:51MOUTHS: Paul Daniels! Paul Daniels!
0:43:51 > 0:43:53What's that in your mouth? Get rid of it! Spit it out!
0:43:53 > 0:43:55Get rid of it! Spit it out! Spit it out! Get rid of it!
0:43:55 > 0:43:58Ten seconds to tell us what you thought about...what are you doing?
0:43:58 > 0:44:00That!
0:44:00 > 0:44:01ALARM BLARES
0:44:05 > 0:44:06FARMYARD ANIMAL NOISES
0:44:08 > 0:44:11MOUTHS WORDS
0:44:11 > 0:44:14And now it's time for this!
0:44:14 > 0:44:19'Ladies and gentlemen! It's here! It's coming! It's the Fin...'
0:44:19 > 0:44:20'Ladies and gentlemen.
0:44:20 > 0:44:23'In the game you're about to see no men, women, children,
0:44:23 > 0:44:25'clowns or ferrets were harmed.
0:44:25 > 0:44:30- 'Not even a little teeny bit. Enjoy!'- ..alival!
0:44:31 > 0:44:35Yes, that's right! It's the Finalival!
0:44:36 > 0:44:45And here's our Finalivalists. There's Sarah! And Sophie!
0:44:45 > 0:44:50Katie! And Reuben!
0:44:50 > 0:44:56One of them will be going away with the Golden Hoopla trophy!
0:44:56 > 0:45:00Go stand behind the podiums because it's time to start round one!
0:45:00 > 0:45:02Hoopla!
0:45:02 > 0:45:04Round one is called Brush Your Teeth.
0:45:04 > 0:45:05You've got 30 seconds in which to do it.
0:45:05 > 0:45:09Now Dom had tea with the brand-new Director General of the BBC.
0:45:09 > 0:45:12- Yes, yes, I did, yes.- And what did he say to you?
0:45:12 > 0:45:14What he said to me, "One of my first priorities
0:45:14 > 0:45:19"as the new Director General is I will not accept any cacky breath!"
0:45:19 > 0:45:22- All right?- So you've got to get them clean.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25We'll give points. The panel over there of judges,
0:45:25 > 0:45:27including Mike Pooh from the fairground.
0:45:27 > 0:45:30- Hello, Michael!- All right, get on with it!
0:45:30 > 0:45:32They'll be scoring you on vigour, dribbly bits
0:45:32 > 0:45:35and frothing your mouth up. So, ready, three, two, one, go!
0:45:35 > 0:45:37The more effort you put in,
0:45:37 > 0:45:41the stronger your chance of getting big points.
0:45:41 > 0:45:44- Come on! Who's going to win?- Who's going to win?
0:45:44 > 0:45:48- Who's going to win? Who's going to win?- Come on, then!
0:45:48 > 0:45:52- Will it be Katie?- Put some elbow into it, girls! Come on!
0:45:52 > 0:45:58- Will it be Sarah? Or will it be Sophie?- Get frothing!
0:46:05 > 0:46:08Wooooah! Time's up! Stop! Stop! Stop what you're doing!
0:46:08 > 0:46:11OK, we've got froth, we've got white dribbly bits,
0:46:11 > 0:46:14but now it's over to Michael Pooh
0:46:14 > 0:46:17and the rest of the judges to let us know who got the most points.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21- So, starting with Sarah.- Right. Ready, go.
0:46:22 > 0:46:26- Er... seven plus six is...- 22 points for Sarah.
0:46:26 > 0:46:30That's cos it's not, I mean, look, useless, really.
0:46:30 > 0:46:32Now, over to Sophie.
0:46:32 > 0:46:36- It's foaming. It's dribbling.- Points for Sophie, please, Michael.
0:46:36 > 0:46:38All right, you ready? Here we go.
0:46:38 > 0:46:44- Eight plus seven is er...16, then eight and five...- 28! My goodness me!
0:46:44 > 0:46:47- Is that blood?! It is!- Is it?!
0:46:47 > 0:46:50You've been brushing a bit too hard, love!
0:46:50 > 0:46:53- You're bleeding out your mouth!- You made your gums bleed!
0:46:53 > 0:46:55Hey, it's true you can see the stripe in the middle!
0:46:55 > 0:46:57LAUGHTER
0:46:57 > 0:47:02- So, over to Kate who's now ripped her mouth to shreds.- Ready, go.
0:47:02 > 0:47:04- It's got to be worth a few more points.- Yeah, it is...
0:47:04 > 0:47:09- Eighteen, nine, seven..! 34!- 34!- 34 for Kate, well done.
0:47:09 > 0:47:11For cutting your gums you're in the lead.
0:47:11 > 0:47:14And lastly but not leastly...Reuben! How many points for Reuben?
0:47:14 > 0:47:19- Right, here we go.- Er...three, six and nine..!- 15...26.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22So, you've got your points
0:47:22 > 0:47:27but now it's time to confirm who will be losing the first round.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30The person to be eliminated from the first round is...
0:47:30 > 0:47:36- with only 22 points...it's Sarah. Sorry, Sarah.- Goodbye, Sarah.
0:47:36 > 0:47:38- Go join the clowns...- Goodbye and farewell. Good luck!
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Cos the kid clowns are going to take you away
0:47:40 > 0:47:43to ride the Lion With No Pride.
0:47:46 > 0:47:48Go on, give her a round of applause!
0:47:48 > 0:47:49CHEERING
0:48:01 > 0:48:06Hold on tight, Sarah! Hold on tight! That's it.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09He likes crisps. He likes them.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13Isn't it shaming, ladies and gentlemen?!
0:48:13 > 0:48:17- I mean, look how shamed she looks! - Very shamed!
0:48:21 > 0:48:24Enough of that. It's time for round two.
0:48:24 > 0:48:25Hoopla!
0:48:25 > 0:48:27Step forward, step forward!
0:48:27 > 0:48:29Wipe your mouth, wipe the blood off your mouth, Kate,
0:48:29 > 0:48:32cos this next round is called I'm The Best In The World.
0:48:32 > 0:48:33But who will be the best in the world?
0:48:33 > 0:48:36You're going to hear a piece of music with instrumental bits in it
0:48:36 > 0:48:38and we're going to tell you that you've got to do something
0:48:38 > 0:48:40and you've got to do it to the best of your ability
0:48:40 > 0:48:43to try and get those points. Play the music, please.
0:48:43 > 0:48:44# I am the best in the world...#
0:48:44 > 0:48:45Sophie first.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48# The best in the world The very best at... #
0:48:48 > 0:48:49Milking a cow.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51- Or pretending to.- Go on, milk a cow.
0:48:51 > 0:48:56- The better you do it the more points you will get.- They are big udders!
0:48:56 > 0:48:59- They are big udders!- They are pretty fat udders, ladies and gentlemen!
0:48:59 > 0:49:05- Yes.- Next! Next! Kate, milk a cow. Stop now, Sophie.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07I know you're enjoying yourself.
0:49:08 > 0:49:14- Slow action.- Yes, well, OK. It's good milking. Plenty of full cream milk.
0:49:14 > 0:49:16Well done, next. Reuben.
0:49:16 > 0:49:22- Milk the cow!- He looked like he didn't want to. But he's doing it.
0:49:22 > 0:49:27Are you surprised? His mates are watching. Stop!
0:49:27 > 0:49:28# I am the best in the world
0:49:28 > 0:49:31# The best in the world The very best at... #
0:49:31 > 0:49:34Crying like a baby.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36SOPHIE CRIES LIKE A BABY
0:49:36 > 0:49:39Oh, she's good. She's got the pitch right.
0:49:39 > 0:49:42This is good, this is good.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44She's looking at us as if she wants to stop.
0:49:44 > 0:49:45DICK AND DOM: Next!
0:49:45 > 0:49:47KATE CRIES LIKE A BABY
0:49:47 > 0:49:48Go on, Kate.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51- Oh!- A little baby. Awww.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53Do you think they still do this at home now?
0:49:53 > 0:49:55- It feels like it, they're quite good at it.- Next!- Reuben.
0:49:55 > 0:49:57Uh...
0:49:57 > 0:49:58CRIES UNCONVINCINGLY LIKE A BABY
0:49:58 > 0:50:02- Oh...- Wait.- No, hold on, hold on, stop the music a minute.- Reuben.
0:50:02 > 0:50:05Who thinks that Reuben's feeling a little bit self-conscious?
0:50:05 > 0:50:07AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:50:07 > 0:50:09Who thinks Reuben's got to that age
0:50:09 > 0:50:11where he's aware of his mates watching?
0:50:11 > 0:50:12AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:50:12 > 0:50:14Who thinks we should make him do it properly?
0:50:14 > 0:50:16AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:50:16 > 0:50:18- Do it!- Reuben, cry like a baby!
0:50:18 > 0:50:20REUBEN CRIES LIKE A BABY
0:50:20 > 0:50:22Oh, stop, exactly the same. Right, move on.
0:50:22 > 0:50:24# I am the best in the world
0:50:24 > 0:50:27# The best in the world The very best at... #
0:50:27 > 0:50:29That was like crying like a teenager, Reuben.
0:50:29 > 0:50:34Anyway, back to Sophie. You've got to speak in your own made-up language.
0:50:34 > 0:50:35Go.
0:50:35 > 0:50:39SOPHIE SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:50:39 > 0:50:42- What language is it?- Sophie.
0:50:42 > 0:50:44Sophie language. Very good.
0:50:44 > 0:50:46Next!
0:50:46 > 0:50:49KATE SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:50:49 > 0:50:51Hang on a minute....
0:50:51 > 0:50:54I think that actually does exist as a language, you know?!
0:50:54 > 0:50:55- As her a question.- Uh...
0:50:55 > 0:50:58DOM SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:50:58 > 0:51:00What, come on..!
0:51:00 > 0:51:02KATE SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:51:02 > 0:51:05Not in front of the nice boys and girls, OK?
0:51:05 > 0:51:07Next! Reuben.
0:51:07 > 0:51:08REUBEN SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:51:08 > 0:51:09Rubbish!
0:51:09 > 0:51:11Should we make him do it for another five minutes?
0:51:11 > 0:51:13AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:51:13 > 0:51:15REUBEN CONTINUES TO SPEAK GIBBERISH
0:51:15 > 0:51:17# I was the best in the world
0:51:17 > 0:51:20# The best thing ever The best thing ever
0:51:20 > 0:51:23# The best thing in the world. #
0:51:23 > 0:51:25There we are.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27But who was the best in the world?
0:51:27 > 0:51:30I think we might know who wasn't the best in the world.
0:51:30 > 0:51:34So, Sophie, could we have points for Sophie being the best in the world?
0:51:34 > 0:51:36All right, boys. Sophie's points are as follows.
0:51:36 > 0:51:3914, 21, 29. 29 points for Sophie.
0:51:41 > 0:51:46The nice Katie over here. Kate, Katie, Kate.
0:51:46 > 0:51:50- Points for Kate and her bleeding gums.- Here we go.
0:51:52 > 0:51:5426 points.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57Hang on, two seconds.
0:51:58 > 0:52:02Reuben, if you have 26 points or more
0:52:02 > 0:52:04you go through to the Final Finalival.
0:52:04 > 0:52:08But I think you probably want 25 or less so that you can just leave.
0:52:08 > 0:52:13- Yes.- Mind you, you will be sat on a lion over there, which is lovely.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17- It's got a silly face. So let's find out your points.- Ready. Up!
0:52:17 > 0:52:20- Ohhh! Very disappointing there. - Reuben, you were rubbish!
0:52:20 > 0:52:24So, the next contestant to leave the Finalival is...
0:52:24 > 0:52:27- Well, we know, don't we? He only got 11. It's Reuben.- Reuben!
0:52:27 > 0:52:29Cheers, mate!
0:52:29 > 0:52:31CHEERING
0:52:31 > 0:52:34DICK AND DOM LAUGH
0:52:41 > 0:52:44He didn't like that, but I don't think he's going to like this
0:52:44 > 0:52:47cos now he's got to ride the Lion With No Pride!
0:52:47 > 0:52:48There you go.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54DICK AND DOM LAUGH
0:52:54 > 0:52:58- Everybody point!- Point and laugh! - Point at him!
0:53:08 > 0:53:09Stop!
0:53:11 > 0:53:15It is the final of the Finalival!
0:53:15 > 0:53:18CHEERING
0:53:21 > 0:53:24Yes, here we are with our Finalivalists.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27It's Sophie and it's Kate, but who's going to win?
0:53:27 > 0:53:30Behind me here you'll see there are eight bins.
0:53:30 > 0:53:36In seven of those bins are treasure. Yes!
0:53:36 > 0:53:39Because only on this show we give away the best prizes
0:53:39 > 0:53:42on British television! Hmm!
0:53:42 > 0:53:45- AUDIENCE: Woo! - This is a life-changing show.
0:53:45 > 0:53:49In these bins aren't just objects but life opportunities.
0:53:49 > 0:53:53Just out of interest, if you could have anything inside those bins,
0:53:53 > 0:53:55what would it be?
0:53:55 > 0:53:58- One Direction.- One Direction!
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Well, who knows, there could be an envelope
0:54:00 > 0:54:03with a chance to meet One Direction.
0:54:03 > 0:54:08- What would you like, Kate?- The same. - Oh?- The same, One Direction in a bin.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11Right. There could be two envelopes.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14The one thing that we haven't mentioned
0:54:14 > 0:54:17is that there is a clown in one of these bins. His name is Cyril.
0:54:17 > 0:54:20- Cyril.- And Cyril is a very wrong clown.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23- If you find him, you lose!- Right.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27So, the one with the most points in the last round was you, Sophie.
0:54:27 > 0:54:32So, think of that. One Direction, treasure, gold.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37What bin isn't Cyril in?
0:54:39 > 0:54:40Number two.
0:54:43 > 0:54:47- OK.- Good luck, Sophie. I hope you get what your dream is.
0:54:49 > 0:54:54- Go over to the bin, Sophie.- Come on, then, go to the bin!- Lift the lid.
0:54:54 > 0:54:58- Aargh!- What is it? Pick it up and bring it here.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00Bring it, bring it over here! Bring it over here!
0:55:00 > 0:55:04- Has her dream come true?- So, Sophie, what have you got?
0:55:04 > 0:55:05A lollipop.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07A lollipop!
0:55:10 > 0:55:16Look, it's not pop music, it's lollipop.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19Kate, come forward.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23You wanted the same as Sophie, to meet One Direction.
0:55:23 > 0:55:30- But first, which bin isn't Cyril in? - Number six.- Number six.
0:55:30 > 0:55:34- Make your way over to the bin.- Hang on a minute.- Lift the lid!
0:55:34 > 0:55:38What is it? Bring it! Bring it here! Bring it over!
0:55:38 > 0:55:43- Kate, bring it here, let's see what you...oh! Look!- What is it?
0:55:43 > 0:55:48- A rubber dinghy.- A rubber dinghy thingy.- Look, everybody!
0:55:48 > 0:55:50AUDIENCE: Woo!
0:55:52 > 0:55:55It's Kate's to keep whatever happens, like we said,
0:55:55 > 0:55:57- it's the best prizes on British TV. - Yeah!
0:55:58 > 0:56:01OK, then, right, Sophie. Come on, then. Stand there, good, right.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04- Which bin isn't Cyril in? - Number three.- Number three.
0:56:05 > 0:56:10OK. Good luck. I hope there's treasure.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13Good luck.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16Any time today, Sophie. Lift the lid.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20SOPHIE SCREAMS
0:56:26 > 0:56:29Cyril! I know she wasn't supposed to find you but that wasn't very nice!
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Well, I don't know what happened, but thanks for that, mate.
0:56:47 > 0:56:50- Sorry about that. Don't worry, I think she's just knocked out.- Yeah.
0:56:50 > 0:56:53- So don't worry about that.- But the good news is,
0:56:53 > 0:56:55over here we have a winner!
0:56:55 > 0:57:00It's Kate! She's the winner of this week's Hoopla!
0:57:00 > 0:57:03Here's your trophy!
0:57:04 > 0:57:10- So, Kate!- Kate! How do you feel? - Amazing.- Brilliant. Anything else?
0:57:10 > 0:57:13- It feels amazing.- It's just really good, I'm really happy.
0:57:13 > 0:57:14Thank you, guys.
0:57:24 > 0:57:31- Oh, no! Look! Look! Kate has been turned into a kid clown.- Kate...
0:57:33 > 0:57:37I know your mum was here today but have you got anything to say to her?
0:57:37 > 0:57:39KATE SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:57:39 > 0:57:43What's that? You want to leave her and join our carnival for ever?
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Oh, for ever, ladies and gentlemen!
0:57:45 > 0:57:47CHEERING
0:57:47 > 0:57:49- Well, that's it!- Thank you to all the guests
0:57:49 > 0:57:51that have been on the show today. All our comedy acts,
0:57:51 > 0:57:53- all our musical performers.- It was a great show.
0:57:53 > 0:57:56The Pooh Brothers as well, thank you very much to them.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59- Thank you very much to the kid clowns.- Not forgetting all you lot!
0:57:59 > 0:58:01The Wig Wam Bammers, give yourself a cheer!
0:58:02 > 0:58:04That's you!
0:58:04 > 0:58:06Join us next time, and who knows...
0:58:06 > 0:58:10next time the Hoopla might be coming to a town near you!
0:58:10 > 0:58:12Hoopla!
0:58:13 > 0:58:16'Dick and Dom would like to point out that Sophie
0:58:16 > 0:58:18'survived her encounter with Cyril
0:58:18 > 0:58:21'and is now a semi-professional boxer.'
0:58:21 > 0:58:23Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd