0:00:02 > 0:00:03Lights, camera, action!
0:00:03 > 0:00:07# We're Diddy Dick and Dom and we're so excited
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Our showbiz careers have been reignited
0:00:11 > 0:00:15# We made it on to the silver screen with our Diddy Movies
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# You're living the dream
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# We were down on our luck, we were burnt out stars
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Flipping burgers and washing cars
0:00:23 > 0:00:30# We waved goodbye to all our cares, hello to Hollywood premieres
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# This time it's you, you'll be millionaires
0:00:33 > 0:00:38# Do Diddy Movies, yeah! #
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Hello, boys and girls!
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Welcome to a world where birds tweet,
0:00:44 > 0:00:47cows moo and sheep fart candy floss!
0:00:47 > 0:00:51That's right, we're all off to Bumbly Poo Farm!
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Yippee!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57I think we're on to a winner here, guys.
0:00:57 > 0:01:02A kiddy picture full of happy tunes and talking animals. I love it.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Even you two can't have messed this one up.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08I think you underestimate us, Larry.
0:01:10 > 0:01:15COUGHING
0:01:15 > 0:01:18WOMAN: Isn't that annoying?
0:01:18 > 0:01:21MOBILE PHONES RING
0:01:21 > 0:01:24How insensitive!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27TALKING
0:01:27 > 0:01:28How very rude.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30BURPING
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Eggy and intrusive.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37BRASS BAND PLAYS
0:01:37 > 0:01:43That's just so inconsiderate. Will you please all just....
0:01:47 > 0:01:49And enjoy the movie.
0:01:54 > 0:01:59Oh, yes, I know, Diddy Dick, this is so exciting.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03No, I've got an ice cube stuck in my throat.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05BOTH: Brain freeze.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Sssh!
0:02:07 > 0:02:12It was a hot summer's day and I was off to stay with my uncle
0:02:12 > 0:02:15at Bumbly Poo Farm!
0:02:19 > 0:02:25# I'm such a happy kitty, so pleased to leave the city!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27# Yes, I am a talking cat
0:02:27 > 0:02:29# There's nothing at all weird about that
0:02:29 > 0:02:34# Talking animals are the norm Here on Bumbly Poo Farm!
0:02:34 > 0:02:38- # Hello Uncle!- Nephew dear! I think you're going to like it here!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40# The flowers sing whenever they blossom!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43# My underpants hum 'cos I never wash 'em
0:02:43 > 0:02:45# Primary colours all over the place
0:02:45 > 0:02:47# Even the sun has a smile on his face
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Ooh, I'm flipping sweltering.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51# Everyone's jolly and everyone's friends
0:02:51 > 0:02:54# Everyone's happy and the fun never ends
0:02:54 > 0:02:58# Everything's so very cute, you may feel the need to puke
0:02:58 > 0:03:00PUKING
0:03:00 > 0:03:07# No-one ever comes to harm here on Bumbly Poo...
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# Faaarrrmmmm! #
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- Did they just...?- No.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Thank you for inviting me to stay on your farm, Uncle Tom.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21That's OK, Jess! I'll be glad of the help!
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Help? Nobody said anything about help.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29You'll love it. Working on a farm is enormous fun.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33And by "fun" I mean back-breakingly hard work.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Now, how about a bowl of lovely cream?
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Ooh, cream!
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Oh, I love cream.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47That's the way, little Jess.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Now, you'll be needing this.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Not to wipe your face. It's your list of chores.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05"Milk the cows, tidy up the fields, stir the cream."
0:04:05 > 0:04:07What did your last slave die of?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Lactose intolerance.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14Right, I'm off to market so you best get cracking with this little lot.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16And whatever you do
0:04:16 > 0:04:21don't visit the diseased old oak tree at the bottom of Misery Field.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Why would I want to do that?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25The bushes are covered in gobstoppers
0:04:25 > 0:04:28and the flowers are made of liquorice.
0:04:28 > 0:04:33And the tree is covered in chocolate noggins, no reason to go there.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Right, no reason at all. Did you say chocolate noggins?
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Yes, and there's a Diddystation games console there,
0:04:41 > 0:04:45with the brand-new Bumbly Poo Farm game.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Product placement, that is.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49The game's rubbish, they always are.
0:04:49 > 0:04:55So whatever you do, don't go down there. Get on with your chores. Bye!
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Right, where's that tree?
0:04:59 > 0:05:03MUSIC PLAYS 'Ah, this is brilliant!'
0:05:03 > 0:05:05It's not.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08'Oh, it's just like being in the film!'
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Huh! It isn't!
0:05:10 > 0:05:14'Wow! Being on the farm is so much fun!'
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Did someone say fun? - Agh!
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Ha! Hi there, sport. If it's fun you're after, I'm your guy!
0:05:21 > 0:05:25- Oh.- I'm the Bumbly Poo, of Bumbly Poo Farm.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Pleased to meet ya! - Pleased to meet you...!
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Oh!
0:05:30 > 0:05:35Sorry. I'm Jess! I never realised there was a real Bumbly Poo.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Why do you think this place is called Bumbly Poo Farm?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42I thought it was because my uncle's got a dicky tummy.
0:05:42 > 0:05:47No, that's a Poobly Bum, that's very different.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47TRUMP
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Jess, would you like to be my friend?
0:05:49 > 0:05:53A Bumbly Poo is the most magical friend you could ever have!
0:05:53 > 0:05:57# Lots of fun things you can do when you're friends with a Bumbly Poo
0:05:57 > 0:06:01# Poke a frog with wet bamboo Play a wellie boot kazoo
0:06:01 > 0:06:04# Fill your uncle's hat with stew There's so much to do!
0:06:04 > 0:06:08# Fly through space in a portaloo Practise custard cream kung fu
0:06:08 > 0:06:12# Wash your hair with cheese fondue There's so much to do!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15# When you're friends with a Bumbly Poo
0:06:15 > 0:06:17# There's just so many fun things you can do! #
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Oh, wow, that was the most fun five minutes I've ever had,
0:06:23 > 0:06:28Bumbly Poo - anyway, best get on with my uncle's chores...
0:06:26 > 0:06:28No, no, wait!
0:06:28 > 0:06:34I could help you, make them a bit more...fun, in a Bumbly Poo way!
0:06:34 > 0:06:38If not, I'll sting you on the nose and make you cry.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42- Sorry, what was that?- Nothing. You do your chores and I'll have a look.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46Go on, off you go, kitty-katty, kitty-kitty, that's it...
0:06:51 > 0:06:55BUMBLY POO PRETENDS TO READ REALLY FAST
0:06:57 > 0:07:02- They all look easy-peasy, squeezy-weezy!- You think?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05I don't know - I can't read!
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Come on, let's go and annoy some cows!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11COW MOOS
0:07:11 > 0:07:16What, you want me to milk these udders - with these claws?
0:07:16 > 0:07:22Ha! Let's make it fun! The Bumbly Poo way! Ha-ha-ha!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Ha-ha-ha!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28TRUMP
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- ALL: Ugh! - What the...? That's my face!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34You always said you wanted to be in the movies!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Lock and load, Jess!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39COW MOOS
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Ha-ha-ha!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Ooh!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48CHILDREN LAUGH
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Yes!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54We have...a winner!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05AUDIENCE GASP
0:08:05 > 0:08:08What? I'm a cat!
0:08:08 > 0:08:12- In dungarees! - So, what's next, my old pal?
0:08:12 > 0:08:16I've got to clean the field of the cow pats.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Let's play frisbee! Ha-ha!
0:08:22 > 0:08:27- That's not helping! - No, but it is fun! Ugh...!
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Come on, sourpuss-puss, why don't you join in?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Whee, whee, whee!
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Whoah!
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Here we go...!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Ha-ha, ha-ha! Not dry yet(?)
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Not dry yet.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Don't worry, there's plenty more fun to be had on Bumbly Poo Farm.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59I'm not sure I like you much any more.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04- Now, we've got to turn this milk into cream.- That's easy -
0:09:04 > 0:09:07with a bit of Bumbly Poo magic!
0:09:07 > 0:09:10No! We'll just use these whisks, OK?
0:09:10 > 0:09:15Are you sure? I mean, we could simply do...this!!
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Or what about this? Urrr...!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25BIG BAND PLAYS
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Or how about...this?!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Rrrrr!
0:09:32 > 0:09:35How's that helping?!
0:09:35 > 0:09:40I thought we were friends? I guess not...
0:09:40 > 0:09:44# The kitchen is a mess
0:09:44 > 0:09:48# And all the milk's been spilt
0:09:48 > 0:09:51# When Uncle Tom gets back
0:09:51 > 0:09:55# I'm going to get killed
0:09:55 > 0:09:58# But as I stand and look around
0:09:58 > 0:10:01# And sing my sad, sad song
0:10:01 > 0:10:05# At least I can be sure there's nothing else
0:10:05 > 0:10:08# That can go wrong... #
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Rrrrrr!
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Ha-ha! Rrrrr!
0:10:12 > 0:10:17Oh, Jess! You didn't think I'd leave you like this, did you?
0:10:17 > 0:10:21- What, you're going to put everything right with your Bumbly Poo magic?- No!
0:10:21 > 0:10:25I'm going to make sure it looks like it was you!
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Rrrr-ah!
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Bye!
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Ha!- Huh?! - What happened here then?
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- You wouldn't believe it if I told you.- Oh, what?
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Did an irritating fairytale creature - I don't know, something like
0:10:42 > 0:10:46a giant psychedelic bee - fly out of a diseased oak tree
0:10:46 > 0:10:49and make your life a misery?
0:10:49 > 0:10:50- Yes!- Oh, yeah, I thought so.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54He has a habit of doing that, the annoying poo-head.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59I think it's about time that we taught HIM a lesson.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Uh-ha-ha-ha!
0:11:05 > 0:11:09So, you've decided to forgive me, have you?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Oh, yes, my uncle and I have no hard feelings,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15- so sit, down...pal!- Ha-ha-ha...
0:11:15 > 0:11:19- So - ha! - what's for dinner? - You!
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Hey? Aaaagh!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25About 20 minutes on 200 degrees should do the trick.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Ha-ha!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Oh! Mmm! Moreish!
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Yes, like popcorn! So...
0:11:38 > 0:11:42- have you learnt your valuable lesson, Jess?- Oh, yes, uncle.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47# If you have an annoying chum
0:11:47 > 0:11:50# And you don't know what to do
0:11:50 > 0:11:55# Don't sit there feeling glum We've got some good advice for you!
0:11:55 > 0:12:00# Eat your friends, eat your friends When you're at your wits' end
0:12:00 > 0:12:04# When they drive you round the bend, eat your friends
0:12:04 > 0:12:09# Eat your mates, eat your mates When they make you feel irate
0:12:09 > 0:12:14# When they're starting to grate Eat your mates!
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- # Steam 'em, boil 'em - Make a kebab!
0:12:18 > 0:12:23- # Chew 'em, fry 'em - Crack 'em like a crab!
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- ALL:- Uuuugh!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27# Grill them, grill them
0:12:27 > 0:12:30# Fry 'em like an egg
0:12:30 > 0:12:35- # Roast them, bake them - Chew on their legs!
0:12:35 > 0:12:40- # When they drive you round the bend - The fun you have will never end!
0:12:40 > 0:12:43# When you eat
0:12:43 > 0:12:46# Your
0:12:46 > 0:12:49# Friends! #
0:12:49 > 0:12:52BURP
0:12:58 > 0:13:01He-hee! Get your computer games!
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Bumbly Poo computer games!
0:13:04 > 0:13:08Bumbly Poo masks! Strap-on stingers!
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- Cow pat frisbees! - Bumbly Poo on a stick!
0:13:18 > 0:13:23APPLAUSE ERUPTS
0:13:23 > 0:13:28RAUCOUS SHOUTING, BOOING, SIRENS
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:13:30 > 0:13:33RAUCOUS SHOUTING CONTINUES
0:13:33 > 0:13:37- I cannot believe I have just sat through that.- Outrageous!
0:13:37 > 0:13:41Aaaaagh!
0:13:41 > 0:13:43I am ruined! Ruined, I tells ya!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- But we've got another idea for a movie!- Oh!
0:13:46 > 0:13:51Yes, Richard. And this one's all about...saucepans.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54Ah...
0:13:54 > 0:13:57'Maybe I'm dreaming?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00'A film about saucepans?!
0:14:00 > 0:14:04'Ah, I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it...'
0:14:04 > 0:14:05I love it!
0:14:05 > 0:14:09- Here's the money! - CHEERING