0:00:02 > 0:00:04Lights! Camera! Action!
0:00:04 > 0:00:05# We're Diddy Dick and Dom
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# And we're so excited!
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Our showbiz careers have been reignited
0:00:11 > 0:00:13# We made it onto the silver screen
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# With our Diddy Movies... #
0:00:15 > 0:00:17- CROWD:- You're living the dream!
0:00:17 > 0:00:18# We've been down on our luck
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# We were burnt-out stars
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Flipping burgers and washing cars
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# But we waved goodbye to all our cares
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# Hello to Hollywood premieres... #
0:00:30 > 0:00:33This time next year, you'll be millionaires!
0:00:33 > 0:00:37# Go, Diddy Movies...yeah! #
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY: - It's really them!
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Auntie, it's really them!
0:00:41 > 0:00:46Ahem...I mean, yes, folks, it's time for another Diddy Movie premiere.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Crank your amps up to 11
0:00:48 > 0:00:53as we go behind the scenes with the hottest boyband on the planet.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55It's 2 Dimensions!
0:00:55 > 0:00:56Argh!
0:00:56 > 0:00:59I got a good feeling about this one, boys -
0:00:59 > 0:01:02a fly-on-the-wall boyband pop-umentary.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04That's bound to get the girls screaming.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Not just the girls, Larry.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09No - we want to get everybody screaming.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11You normally manage to do that.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13So which band did you get?
0:01:13 > 0:01:14- JLS?- No, no, no.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16- The Wanted?- No, no, no.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18- One Direction?- No, no, no. - No, no, no.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20No, it's better than that, Larry.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23We formed our own.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24SPLAT!
0:01:24 > 0:01:26- You did WHAT? - We're...
0:01:26 > 0:01:29BOTH: 2 Dimensions!
0:01:29 > 0:01:32But...I never heard of you guys!
0:01:32 > 0:01:35You've never heard of us YET, Larry.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38This movie's going to make us pop megastars.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Yes - soon, the whole world will know
0:01:40 > 0:01:44that we're as good at singing as we are at making movies!
0:01:44 > 0:01:46LARRY CRIES
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Hey, you - what do you buy?
0:02:10 > 0:02:14Webuyanymonkey.com accept payment in cash, cheque, credit card or bananas.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16To speak with an operator, please dial...
0:02:18 > 0:02:19- Ooh-ooh-ooh!- Ooh-ooh-ooh!
0:02:19 > 0:02:24Larry, if you were a bit hairier, we'd make a fortune.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25But I don't think they'd take gorillas.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26What?!
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Shush! Larry, look! It's starting! Starting, starting, starting!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34They're the hottest boyband of the century
0:02:34 > 0:02:38and you've got an access-all-areas backstage pass
0:02:38 > 0:02:41to experience 2 Dimensions - live!
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Of course, we always knew we were going to be famous.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51Even at the first audition, it was obvious - we had talent.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56When you're as cool as us, it's only a matter of time.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00The 2D journey began on popular TV show Call That Talent?
0:03:00 > 0:03:04Hello, there. And what brings you to Call That Talent?
0:03:04 > 0:03:08We are...2 Dimensions!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11And we're going to blow your socks off.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Great name - cos there's two of you, right?
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19I soooo like things that I've got two of -
0:03:19 > 0:03:20hands, feet...
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Brain cells?- Exactemento.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Away you go, lads.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30# We want to be famous
0:03:30 > 0:03:32# We want to be rich
0:03:32 > 0:03:34# We don't want to wait
0:03:34 > 0:03:36# We want it dead quick
0:03:36 > 0:03:37# We want cash in a stash
0:03:37 > 0:03:39# We can splash at a dash
0:03:39 > 0:03:40# With a hairy moustache
0:03:40 > 0:03:43# And a very itchy rash
0:03:43 > 0:03:45# We want to be famous
0:03:45 > 0:03:54# Noooooooooooooo...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56SCREAMING
0:03:58 > 0:04:05# ..oooooooooow. #
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Hang on, hang on -
0:04:06 > 0:04:08you said you were going to blow our socks off.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Well...
0:04:11 > 0:04:12They're still on.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16- Oh, yeah - nearly forgot. - Here you are.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17FARTING
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Ta-dah!
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Well, lads, I can see now why you're called 2D.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27That singing was totally flat.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28CROWD GASPS
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Your styling is soooo wrong.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Ooh!
0:04:32 > 0:04:34What do you think, Johnny Toaster?
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Yeah, couldn't agree more.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Do you think he likes us?
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Get out! And never sing again!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Everybody else, you're through to the next round.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Well, of course, every band has its setbacks.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50But we weren't put off.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53We've had millions of people tell us we were brilliant.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54- Well... - Well, hundreds.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55- Well... - Dozens.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- Well... - Well, one.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Yes, my Auntie Patty in America.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01When he was three, he sang me...
0:05:01 > 0:05:04# Heads, shoulders, knees and toes... #
0:05:04 > 0:05:05..down the phone.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08And then he wet himself - hmmm!
0:05:08 > 0:05:12You see, the only way to deal with getting kicked off Call That Talent
0:05:12 > 0:05:15was with dignity.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18No - please, give us another chance!
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Please, please, please!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24You lot wouldn't know talent
0:05:24 > 0:05:25if it bit you
0:05:25 > 0:05:29on...the...BUM!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31And get that out of my face!
0:05:32 > 0:05:36But it seemed our journey was over.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Oh, well! At least that was a quick one!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- See you later, boys! - Where you going?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43It's only just started.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45HE CRIES
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Who wants to be a pop star, anyway?
0:05:48 > 0:05:54The fame. The money. The travel. The fancy parties.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Me! I want that, luvvie - me!
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Yeah - me too.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00THEY CRY
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I can make that happen for you.
0:06:02 > 0:06:07# I'll be your hero... #
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Hang on - YOU told us to get lost.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Hey, all part of the plan, guys.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14See, I said that to make people feel sorry for you.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16What about what you said - "never sing again?"
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Oh, well, I said that because you're terrible.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- Fair point.- Hey - I'm making you my wild card act.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Everybody loves an underdog, right? Right?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Am I right? Huh? You're back in the competition.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30One, two, three, four...
0:06:30 > 0:06:33The band sailed through the rest of the competition...
0:06:33 > 0:06:34# We want to be famous
0:06:34 > 0:06:36# We want to be rich
0:06:36 > 0:06:39# We don't want to wait...
0:06:39 > 0:06:40..through Disco Week...
0:06:40 > 0:06:42# We want cash in a stash
0:06:42 > 0:06:43# We could splash in a dash
0:06:43 > 0:06:47# With a hairy moustache and a very itchy rash, rash, rash, rash...
0:06:47 > 0:06:48..Country and Western...
0:06:48 > 0:06:50# We want to be famous
0:06:50 > 0:06:51# We want to be rich
0:06:51 > 0:06:53# We don't want to wait...
0:06:53 > 0:06:54..through Lady Doo-Doo Week...
0:06:54 > 0:06:57# Blah, blah, blah, blah
0:06:58 > 0:07:00# Blah, blah, wah-wah-wah... #
0:07:00 > 0:07:02..all the way to the final.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04# We want to be famous
0:07:04 > 0:07:05# We want to be rich
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- # We want to be famous now! - Uh-huh. #
0:07:09 > 0:07:11APPLAUSE
0:07:11 > 0:07:15This was it - the moment of truth...
0:07:15 > 0:07:18How many sausages can one man fit into his mouth?
0:07:18 > 0:07:19No!
0:07:21 > 0:07:25But did we have enough talent to win the show?
0:07:25 > 0:07:26Yeah, we did.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Shut up! They don't know that yet!
0:07:30 > 0:07:31But did we?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Yes, we did.- Shut up!
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Well, did we?
0:07:37 > 0:07:38- MOUTHS:- "Yes, we did!"
0:07:38 > 0:07:44And the winner of Call That Talent is...
0:07:46 > 0:07:47THEY MUTTER EXCITEDLY
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Give it here!
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Look, it says it there - "2 Dimensions!"
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Oh!
0:08:05 > 0:08:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Life for 2D was about to change.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17The guys were really going up in the world.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Well done, guys. You're really going up in the world.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Now, if there's anything you need, anything at all...
0:08:22 > 0:08:23- Train set?- Anything.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Sports car?- Yes, anything.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Ballet lessons?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Yes! Anything.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32But first...you have to sign this contract.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Oh, yes! Why didn't you say?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- What? You don't want to read it, first?- Why would I?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40We have complete confidence that you are a nice man
0:08:40 > 0:08:42working in our best interests.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43TREVOR LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:08:43 > 0:08:44And I can't read.
0:08:44 > 0:08:472 Dimensions rushed to the recording studio
0:08:47 > 0:08:50to put their angelic voices on their first big hit.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52# You've got lovely eyes
0:08:52 > 0:08:54# You've got lovely knees
0:08:54 > 0:08:56# Say that you like me... #
0:08:56 > 0:08:58'At first, we thought we were going to have a number two.'
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Ha! You said number two!
0:09:02 > 0:09:05But we ended up with a number one on our hands.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Ha! A number one? On our hands?
0:09:08 > 0:09:12And then it was time for a huge public appearance.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14# Say that you like me
0:09:14 > 0:09:16# Pretty, pretty please. #
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I declare this supermarket open!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20HE SOBS
0:09:21 > 0:09:24And finally, leading to a primetime TV slot.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26# Come for tea
0:09:26 > 0:09:28# And smell my cheese
0:09:28 > 0:09:30# Say that you like me
0:09:30 > 0:09:31# Pretty, pretty please. #
0:09:31 > 0:09:33SPLAT!
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- There's something very familiar about that.- Yeah.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42No matter how big we got, fame wasn't going to change us.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44WHY ARE THERE RED ONES?!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I SAID NO RED ONES!
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Sorry, sir.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50TREVOR LAUGHS
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Well done, boys - you've made it to the top.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Merthyr Tydfil's second-largest scout hut.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Read my comic - NOW!
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- Once upon a time... - PROPERLY.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- IN A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: - Once upon a time...
0:10:04 > 0:10:06That's it, I've had enough, I'm bored - hop it.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Nice to see fame hasn't gone to your heads.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Oh, dib-dib-dib - here is tonight's takings.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Oh! I'll take that off your hands, thank you very much.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16CRASH!
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Come on, guys - it's show time!
0:10:21 > 0:10:22Me - I'm first!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25How dare you! I'm the star!
0:10:25 > 0:10:26I'm a bigger star than you!
0:10:26 > 0:10:27You have silly hair.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28- I'm bigger!- Oh, get off!
0:10:28 > 0:10:33ANNOUNCER: 2 Dimensions!
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Ooh!
0:10:38 > 0:10:40CROWD CHANTS: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Ow!
0:10:41 > 0:10:43CROWD CHANTS: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Eee!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46CROWD CHANTS: Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee!
0:10:46 > 0:10:47Argh!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50CROWD CHANTS: Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52- Eee!- Argh!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54RUMBLING
0:10:54 > 0:10:56SCREAMING
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Where did everybody go?
0:11:00 > 0:11:01CREAKING AND CRACKING
0:11:01 > 0:11:04BOTH: Oh, piddle!
0:11:04 > 0:11:05CRASH!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Was this the end for 2 Dimensions?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Please...please...
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Of course it wasn't!
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Oh...
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Can't believe Trevor fired us.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20All we did was demolish a scout hut.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22It's not like we did anything serious.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27Oh...dob-dob-dob, you two owe Merthyr a new scout hut!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Yeah - you pay him, luvvie.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31But...what with?
0:11:31 > 0:11:33The money that we made.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35But I thought you had it!
0:11:35 > 0:11:36I thought you did.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Ah...that means...
0:11:40 > 0:11:42BOTH: TREVOR'S GOT IT!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- No!- No!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46SIREN WAILS
0:11:46 > 0:11:48All right - what about this?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Was this the end for 2 Dimensions?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Oh, please...
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Of course it wasn't!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Oh...don't keep getting my hopes up!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01DOOR OPENS
0:12:01 > 0:12:05It's OK - I paid all the bills. You're free to go.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07But why would you do that?
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Because you're back.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11The single went to number one in America.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13You sold a million!
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Do we even have any fans in America?
0:12:15 > 0:12:19You got one - I bought a million copies.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21KAH-CHING!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Hey, look, I've got a US tour lined up and everything.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I'm mean, you've already sold out Broadway.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Are you with me?
0:12:28 > 0:12:32- We'd learned our lesson. - We were older and wiser.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36We thought long and hard before making a decision.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Yes!- We'll do anything! - Make us famous!
0:12:39 > 0:12:41THEY YELL OVER EACH OTHER
0:12:41 > 0:12:44And now, we're back where we belong
0:12:44 > 0:12:46and we owe it all to the little people.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48What, like pixies and gnomes and that?
0:12:48 > 0:12:52No! To our adoring fans.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Speaking of which, we've got a sell-out Broadway show to do.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57BOTH: Let's rock this joint!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00WIND WHISTLES
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I...I thought this was a sell-out?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Where is everyone?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I bought every single seat in the house!
0:13:11 > 0:13:16Oh. Well, the only way is up.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19# You've got lovely eyes
0:13:19 > 0:13:21# You've got lovely knees
0:13:21 > 0:13:23# Say that you like me
0:13:23 > 0:13:25# Pretty, pretty please... #
0:13:25 > 0:13:29OK, so is this the end for 2 Dimensions?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Yes!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I hope he doesn't wet himself.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- # Why do you build me up - Build me up
0:13:44 > 0:13:45# Buttercup, baby
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- # Just to let me down - Let me down
0:13:48 > 0:13:49# And mess me around
0:13:49 > 0:13:51- # And then worst of all - Worst of all
0:13:51 > 0:13:53# You never call, baby
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- # When you say you will - Say you will
0:13:55 > 0:13:56# But I love you still
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- # I need you - I need you
0:13:58 > 0:14:00# More than anyone, darlin'
0:14:00 > 0:14:04# You know that I have from the start
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- # So build me up - Build me up
0:14:06 > 0:14:09# Buttercup, don't break my heart. #
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Good golly, Miss Molly!
0:14:13 > 0:14:16It's time for another Diddy Movie premiere.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19And please remember to switch off your mobile phones.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20PHONE RINGS
0:14:20 > 0:14:21Oh, hello, Mum!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Yes, I'm just reminding them.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Yes, it is very annoying.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Ahem - tonight's movie, the Earth-splattering Invasion!
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Mr Weinsteinburger, we'd like to say thank you to you
0:14:33 > 0:14:34for being so understanding.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37- I was?- Yes, luvvie,
0:14:37 > 0:14:41for letting us go SO over budget on our latest movie.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46WHAAAAT?!
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Don't worry though, Larry, we're going to pay you back.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52There you go - £1.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Oh, £1 - that's not so bad.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58And we'll continue to pay you £1 every week
0:14:58 > 0:15:00for the next 3 million weeks, luvvie.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04WHAAAAT?!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Oh...
0:15:07 > 0:15:10DICK AND DOM GIGGLE
0:15:10 > 0:15:11What a naughty sausage.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Have you ever thought about the money you have tied up in soft furnishings?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Ever thought that you could literally be sitting on a feathery gold mine?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Whether your cushions are flat or plumped, send them to us at...
0:15:23 > 0:15:24# Cash 4 Cushions
0:15:24 > 0:15:27# Where you get cash for your cushions
0:15:27 > 0:15:30# Unless they're really old or sweaty
0:15:30 > 0:15:32# In which case
0:15:32 > 0:15:34# We won't give you cash
0:15:34 > 0:15:35# For your cushions. #
0:15:35 > 0:15:36That's right!
0:15:36 > 0:15:38# Cash 4 Cushions
0:15:38 > 0:15:41# Where you get cash for your cushions
0:15:41 > 0:15:44# Unless they're really old or sweaty
0:15:44 > 0:15:46# In which case
0:15:46 > 0:15:47# We won't give you cash
0:15:47 > 0:15:49# For your cushions. #
0:15:49 > 0:15:50That's right!
0:15:50 > 0:15:52# Cash for cushions
0:15:52 > 0:15:55# Where you get cash for your cushions... #
0:15:55 > 0:15:57# Cash for cushions
0:15:57 > 0:15:58# Where you get ca...
0:15:58 > 0:15:59# For your... #
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Oh! Look, it's starting!
0:16:03 > 0:16:06And this time, Larry, we've recorded the movie
0:16:06 > 0:16:07in surround sound.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- IN SURROUND SOUND:- Surround sound.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Who said that?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15No, Larry - it was the surround sound.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Surround sound.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Who said that?!
0:16:18 > 0:16:21- The surround sound! - Surround sound.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- Surround sound. - Surround sound.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Oh. The surround sound.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29- Who said that?- Who said that?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Diddy Movies Presents...
0:16:45 > 0:16:46FLY BUZZES
0:16:46 > 0:16:47GULP!
0:16:56 > 0:16:58CLANKING
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Ai-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee!
0:17:08 > 0:17:10LAUGHTER
0:17:10 > 0:17:11You look so ugly!
0:17:11 > 0:17:14That's right - you've got a face like a squashed hamburger.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Do you mind?
0:17:19 > 0:17:20Greetings, puny...
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Arrggghhhh!
0:17:21 > 0:17:22THUD!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24- Ooh!- Ooh!- Ooh!
0:17:28 > 0:17:30HE GRUNTS
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Agh! Oh...
0:17:34 > 0:17:35All right?
0:17:37 > 0:17:41Greetings, puny life forms!
0:17:41 > 0:17:42I have travelled far
0:17:42 > 0:17:46from the galaxy of Neeeeeeeow
0:17:46 > 0:17:47to get here.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51I have come in the name of the High Emperor, Yak-Yak-Snuff,
0:17:51 > 0:17:53in association with Venus Cold and Flu Remedies.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Uh...good day, interesting-looking traveller from another galaxy.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04I am the Prime Minister of this part of what we humbly call Earth,
0:18:04 > 0:18:07and I welcome you with open arms.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Oh!
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Thank you, Pram Meister, for your rubbish welcome.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17I claim your puny Earth
0:18:17 > 0:18:19and rename it...
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Chloe III.
0:18:21 > 0:18:27Bow down before Spork - your new leader!
0:18:27 > 0:18:28SLURP!
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Oh!
0:18:29 > 0:18:30GULP!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35All right, guys - let it have it!
0:18:35 > 0:18:40Behold my powerful mind waves of doom!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43SOUND PULSES
0:18:43 > 0:18:46CROWD STARTS YODELLING
0:18:52 > 0:18:56I've been observing the limits of your pathetic brains -
0:18:56 > 0:18:58your free WiFi,
0:18:58 > 0:19:00your grated cheese,
0:19:00 > 0:19:03your limited parking facilities.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05You're no match for Spork!
0:19:05 > 0:19:09Kneel before me.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10- Look!- What?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13There's another one!
0:19:13 > 0:19:14CRASH!
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Oh!
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Well, I didn't see that coming.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21Actually, I did see that coming.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22And...I can see your car
0:19:22 > 0:19:23is about to get stolen.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25What?!
0:19:34 > 0:19:35What's that?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39All right, everybody?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Nobody move.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43SCREAMING
0:19:43 > 0:19:46I said...nobody...move.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47MORE SCREAMING
0:19:47 > 0:19:52Oi! Whoever you are, can you stop vaporising my people?
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I've travelled here today from the galaxy of...
0:19:55 > 0:19:59HE BARKS AND HOWLS
0:19:59 > 0:20:01..to be here.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03I've done that!
0:20:03 > 0:20:06So let's make some noise!
0:20:08 > 0:20:13- Oi!- Oh, hello. I'm Cindy.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Tough crowd, these Earthlings, aren't they?
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Actually, it's not Earth any more.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I changed its name to Chloe III when I landed here - FIRST -
0:20:20 > 0:20:24when I became leader - FIRST!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26All right - chillax, buddy.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Why don't we share it?
0:20:28 > 0:20:32We could rule this rock together - Spork and Cindy.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35No! Now, push off,
0:20:35 > 0:20:38you...splodge-peeper.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39Oh...
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Crubb-muncher!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Ho-ho! Both off to a solid start there.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Nothing too flashy, but all still to play for.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Fumbly-whelcher!
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Crubb-nuzzler!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Jip-luberer!
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Wib-tackler!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Oh-ho! My word!
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Where did he find that one? He totally powned him!
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Z-Z-Znacker...fnarb!
0:21:02 > 0:21:04PENALTY BUZZER
0:21:04 > 0:21:06No, no, he's in serious trouble here.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Ooble-grinder!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Dangle-knottle!
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Brunki-nobbler!
0:21:11 > 0:21:14APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Oh-ho-ho! Well, at the end of the day,
0:21:17 > 0:21:18the best spog-noggler won.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Up next, yeti wrestling.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Silence!
0:21:23 > 0:21:25That doesn't count - I was here first,
0:21:25 > 0:21:26so I'm going to be the leader.
0:21:26 > 0:21:31Well, I am a hunky hotty, so that makes me the leader.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Oh!
0:21:34 > 0:21:36- Guttle-sucker! - Whatevs!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Uh...hello, mighty aliens.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Us worthless shoe-dwelling humans
0:21:46 > 0:21:48have noticed that Your Magnificences
0:21:48 > 0:21:51aren't quite seeing eye to eye...
0:21:53 > 0:21:57..to eye to eye to eye to eye...to eye...to eye
0:21:57 > 0:21:58over this.
0:21:58 > 0:22:03So I would be honoured to set you some human challenges,
0:22:03 > 0:22:06the winner of which could rule us for all eternity. What do you say?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Hm...
0:22:08 > 0:22:09Hm...
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Oh, splendid!
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Challenge one in the fight to rule the planet -
0:22:14 > 0:22:15cake baking.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19CINDY GIGGLES AND SPORK SMIRKS
0:22:21 > 0:22:22CINDY LAUGHS
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Ah!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Here!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Did you touch my cake?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48No...
0:22:48 > 0:22:51OK, well, let's see how they got on.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Mmm...
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Hm - oh, yeah. Interesting.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01I'm getting, um...burnt fish.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Hairy pork?
0:23:04 > 0:23:05And, um...
0:23:05 > 0:23:06Ooh! Gravel!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Hm, yes.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Ooh - looks interesting.
0:23:10 > 0:23:11Hm...
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Hm...mmm...
0:23:15 > 0:23:18With this one, I'm getting...I'm getting...
0:23:19 > 0:23:20I'm getting...
0:23:20 > 0:23:21TUMMY RUMBLES
0:23:21 > 0:23:23..the runs, so...
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Spork takes the first challenge...1-0!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Challenge two - written test.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Right, then - we'll have NO talking,
0:23:36 > 0:23:38no diving, no petting, no bombing
0:23:38 > 0:23:42and try not to eat your exam papers.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49GULP!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- SIGHING:- Begin.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55Spork?
0:23:55 > 0:23:56CINDY SNIFFS
0:23:56 > 0:23:58CINDY SNORTS
0:23:58 > 0:24:02Oh, no! Sir, he's done snots on my test, sir!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Bogies!
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Do I get an extra point for shouting that?
0:24:07 > 0:24:08No, he doesn't!
0:24:10 > 0:24:11SPORK SNORTS
0:24:21 > 0:24:26Right! You're both disqualified for covering everything with bogies!
0:24:26 > 0:24:28You lose all your points!
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- Oh, but sir...!- Oh, sir!
0:24:30 > 0:24:35All right, half a point each - now go and wash your nostrils!
0:24:36 > 0:24:40So, we come to the decider. It's neck and neck -
0:24:40 > 0:24:43if, indeed, those are necks.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45The winner of this gets to rule Earth.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Challenge three...
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Skydiving!
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Yaaaay!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Ooooh!
0:25:02 > 0:25:03SCREAMING
0:25:03 > 0:25:07- Hey, Cindy - you know what I've done? - What?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- I've swapped your parachute.- Eh?!
0:25:09 > 0:25:13I've swapped your parachute for...
0:25:15 > 0:25:16..a trombone.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17SPORK LAUGHS
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Now Earth - I mean, Chloe III - is mine!
0:25:20 > 0:25:23- You know what I've done?- What?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25I've swapped your parachute, too!
0:25:25 > 0:25:28GOAT BLEATS
0:25:28 > 0:25:31- I guess this is the end, then.- Yep.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32I'm sorry, buddy.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35I should never have tried to take over your planet.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Oh, no - it's my fault.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38I should have shared it.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- Friends?- Friends.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Ha-ha-ha! Only joking! Lame-o!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Yeah! Me too...uh...
0:25:49 > 0:25:53BOTH: Knicker elastic!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55THEY SCREAM
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Oh, yeah!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:05 > 0:26:06The Prime Minister's plan worked -
0:26:06 > 0:26:09the aliens destroyed each other and as I speak,
0:26:09 > 0:26:11they're being scraped off the pavement like pancakes.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13RETCHING AND SPLATTERING
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Your Majesty, people of Earth...
0:26:23 > 0:26:24..Mum.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27We're saved!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:29 > 0:26:34And I am proud to stand here in front of all of you and say...
0:26:34 > 0:26:36CRASH!
0:26:36 > 0:26:37SCREAMING
0:26:41 > 0:26:42What a dump!
0:26:45 > 0:26:48BLEEPING
0:26:50 > 0:26:54# Starships were meant to fly... #
0:26:58 > 0:27:01Well, Larry - what did you think?
0:27:04 > 0:27:07What about you lot? What did you think, eh?
0:27:12 > 0:27:14BOOING AND YELLING
0:27:22 > 0:27:24BOOING AND YELLING CONTINUES
0:27:26 > 0:27:28SHE SCREAMS
0:27:32 > 0:27:36I'm ruined! Ruined, I tell you!
0:27:36 > 0:27:40Actually, Mr Weinsteinburger, we've got a new idea for a movie.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44And this one's got...second-hand soap.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50'That's the worst idea that stinks out the whole universe!
0:27:50 > 0:27:52'I've never...I...'
0:27:52 > 0:27:54I love it!
0:27:54 > 0:27:55Here's the money!
0:27:55 > 0:27:58# Go, Diddy Movies - yeah! #