0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Larry Weinsteinberger the Diddy Movies boss
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# His last few films have flopped with catastrophic money loss
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# So he's ditching Diddy Movies for the thrill of television
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# The small screen is the future for those with any vision
0:00:13 > 0:00:16# With Larry's bottom dollar he's launched a TV station
0:00:16 > 0:00:20# Packed with creativity, style and innovation
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# Diddy TV, Diddy TV
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# Channel 6597423
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# A brand-new rival for the BBC
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# It's Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV. #
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Welcome to the only Diddy TV channel in the entire world.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41I can't think why nobody else has done it.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I'm Not A Celebrity Get Me Into There.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48It's the last day of the competition and the contestants
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Brian and Kirk are hoping to be crowned the winner.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Oh, Kirk, it's nearly all over.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57I simply can't stand being on camera 24/7.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59GAME SHOW MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Yeah, but, just remember why we're doing this.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04For charity?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Oh, yes, that!
0:01:07 > 0:01:11I thought I was finished after the failure of my difficult first album.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Yeah, I thought I was finished
0:01:12 > 0:01:17when they cancelled my reality TV show after just half an episode.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Brian and Kirk, are you ready for your final jungle trial?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Oh, do we have to?
0:01:23 > 0:01:24You are mean to us.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Your jungle trial today is...
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Beast Feast.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30Rooaaarrr!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Sounds nasty.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Fingers crossed.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38To win your stars, you must eat all of the dishes in front of you.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Dish one - spicy kangaroo feet!
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Is that it?!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48We had a family bucket of these this morning!
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Come on, we need more drama!
0:01:52 > 0:01:55We demand the worst, most disgusting,
0:01:55 > 0:01:59most slimy thing in this jungle right now!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Roooaaarr!
0:02:03 > 0:02:07BOTH: Ewwww!
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- Think of the fame. - See you in the middle, Brian.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12# I don't care if you're full
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- # Just eat it - Eat it
0:02:14 > 0:02:16- # Eat it - Eat it
0:02:16 > 0:02:18# Open up your mouth and feed it... #
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Oh, grubby-grub-grub.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22# Have a big dinner Have a wide snack
0:02:22 > 0:02:25# If you don't like it you can't send it back
0:02:25 > 0:02:26# Just eat it. #
0:02:26 > 0:02:31- Grim.- But was that enough to make us properly famous?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Ahhh...
0:02:33 > 0:02:35BOTH: Nothing!
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Do you know what we should eat, Kirk?- What?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Ourselves.- Nice!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- # Just eat it - Eat it
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- # Eat it - Eat it
0:02:44 > 0:02:46# Open up your mouth and feed it
0:02:46 > 0:02:48# Just eat it. #
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Mmm. My thigh was moreish.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Oh, yes, tastes like chicken.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Oh, eh, we must be really famous now.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Let's check our phones again.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59THEY GROAN
0:03:01 > 0:03:06Brian and Kirk, congratulations on reaching the final.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10You're both disqualified for eating your own food.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13THEY MOAN
0:03:13 > 0:03:14And that's all we've got time for
0:03:14 > 0:03:17on I'm Not A Celebrity Get me Into There.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Oi, where're you going?!
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Don't leave us! I'll eat his head.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24I'll eat his first.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27THEY MOAN
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Time now for some magic as we watch our viewing audience
0:03:30 > 0:03:32disappear into thin air.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37BOTH: Abracamazing!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Yo, I'm Swagger.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Yeah, and I'm Fitch and...
0:03:41 > 0:03:44BOTH: We do magik!
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Yeah, magic with a K.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Yeah, cos we are street magicians, bruv.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Out on the streets, representing where the real action is.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Can we not do it indoors because it's flipping freezing here?
0:03:54 > 0:03:57No, we cannot do it indoors because then we'd be indoor magicians,
0:03:57 > 0:03:59not street magicians.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Hey, dude! Dude, would you like to see a trick?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Oh, all right, then.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08All right, simple, all you've got to do is pick a card.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Look at it, yeah? Don't let us see.
0:04:11 > 0:04:16Now, holding on tight and...
0:04:16 > 0:04:17BOTH: Whoo!
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- It's gone.- Gone.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Wow, great trick.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23HE CHANTS MAGIC SPELL
0:04:23 > 0:04:26But what is this?
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Inside this ordinary banana is a key.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33A key, that unlocks this perfectly ordinary box.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37And inside that box is an ordinary pigeon.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41A pigeon that's a signal for that helicopter.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45- Yeah, yeah, which is airlifting down an ordinary mum.- Mum?
0:04:45 > 0:04:49And on the side of the ordinary mum's ordinary bag is...
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Your card - the ace of clubs. Boom!
0:04:51 > 0:04:54BOTH: Abracamazing!
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Pretty cool, eh, dude!
0:04:57 > 0:05:01My card was the eight of clubs, not the ace.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- Ahem. Excuse me. Bruv.- Yeah?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06(You said the ace of clubs.)
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I whispered the eight of clubs. I thought we'd get away with it!
0:05:09 > 0:05:10We did not get away with it, bruv.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Do you know how much the helicopter cost?
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- And them pigeons took three months to train.- Sorry.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Oh, don't worry. It's cool, dude.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Yes, yes, it is cool, you see, because Fitch and me,
0:05:21 > 0:05:23we've got a plan B.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27- On the count of three. - BOTH: One, two, three...
0:05:29 > 0:05:31The ace of clubs!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33BOTH: Abracamazing!
0:05:33 > 0:05:37LAUGHTER
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Stop laughing at us!
0:05:39 > 0:05:40We're respected.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- People love me, bruv.- Yeah.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Swagger.- Yeah?- Me bus pass is in me trousers.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47I love street magic, Eamonn.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50We don't have to pay for the studio.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53I don't know. It's a bit newfangled for my taste, Larry.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56You know, in my day magicians wore top hats,
0:05:56 > 0:06:01they had those twirly moustaches and they had those big opera capes -
0:06:01 > 0:06:04- classy, like.- What are you on about? - The good old days, you know?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I know it's hard for young
0:06:06 > 0:06:07whippersnappers like you to believe.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Eamonn, we're the same age, you and me!
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Don't you remember, we went to school together.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Oh, yeah, yeah, we wore short trousers
0:06:14 > 0:06:16until we were 18, didn't we?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19And then I used to dip your pigtails in the inkwell, remember?!
0:06:19 > 0:06:20LARRY SIGHS
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Ah, the good old days!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27If you love music, then we've got the show for you.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30It's a shame we're not playing it. Instead it's...
0:06:33 > 0:06:38Greetings, greetings, greetings, and welcome once more to Diddypops.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Tonight, we've got one of my all-time favourite bands
0:06:40 > 0:06:43playing one of my all-time favourite songs.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Performing live, right here, right now it's
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Diddy Dom And The Jitters!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Two, three, four...
0:07:05 > 0:07:10# The road is long
0:07:12 > 0:07:17# With a million winding turns
0:07:17 > 0:07:22# That leads us to who...
0:07:23 > 0:07:29# Knows where, who knows where
0:07:31 > 0:07:37# But I'm strong
0:07:37 > 0:07:43# Strong enough to care
0:07:46 > 0:07:50# He ain't heavy
0:07:50 > 0:07:52# He's my... #
0:07:52 > 0:07:54THEY SCREAM
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Told you.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Now, if you wonder what we spend our money on, here's your answer -
0:08:00 > 0:08:02a box.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03This is The Box!
0:08:05 > 0:08:07OK, so, Raymond,
0:08:07 > 0:08:11for 100,000 sweetcorns,
0:08:11 > 0:08:13get the 5p piece
0:08:13 > 0:08:17out from the bottom of the bag.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Will you take on...
0:08:19 > 0:08:21The Box?
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Erm, can I have a lifeline, please?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Oh, a lifeline.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29OK, you can.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Erm, can I shout, please?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Go ahead.- Thank you.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Ahem.
0:08:47 > 0:08:53Agghhhhrrhhh!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Let's hope that helps. OK, Raymond, in your own time,
0:08:57 > 0:09:00take on The Box.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Yes!
0:09:11 > 0:09:14You've made that look so easy!
0:09:14 > 0:09:18You've won 500,000 sweetcorns!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Goodbye.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22APPLAUSE
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Hello?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Hello?!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33I'm still in The Box.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Don't worry, Eamonn, we get the 5p off him before he leaves.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Of course in my day, 5p was a lot of money.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Oh, here we go!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Well, you could catch a moving picture at the Palladium,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47you could have a slap-up feed at the all-night whelk stall
0:09:47 > 0:09:51and still, still, have a halfpenny left over for a Zeppelin ride home.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- When was this exactly? - Last Thursday.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56There was a coupon in the paper.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58(Hello, I'm still in The Box.)
0:09:58 > 0:10:01All right? I'm the Pearly Chimp and have I got a card for you?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Course I have. Bosh!
0:10:03 > 0:10:05# Cards by Pearly Chimp Cards by Pearly Chimp
0:10:05 > 0:10:08# Cards by, cards by cards by Pearly Chimp. #
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Say whatever you want, to whoever you want, with Pearly Chimp.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Bosh! Bosh! Bosh!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21# Make up a day
0:10:21 > 0:10:23# I don't care
0:10:23 > 0:10:25# Whatever you want to say I'll be there
0:10:25 > 0:10:28# Cards by Pearly Chimp Cards by Pearly Chimp
0:10:28 > 0:10:30# Cards by, cards by, cards by Pearly Chimp... #
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Nothing says I love you
0:10:31 > 0:10:32like a cobbled-together
0:10:32 > 0:10:35monstrosity you've made yourself. Get in!
0:10:37 > 0:10:42# We, we're going to show the world
0:10:42 > 0:10:46# Everything we're made of
0:10:46 > 0:10:50# We're going to tear the roof off this place. #
0:10:55 > 0:10:56What's the Tatty Tutu?
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Only the hippest dance studio in the whole of NYC.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Why's it the hippest?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Mainly thanks to me.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Welcome back to the Tatty Tutu.
0:11:11 > 0:11:12Seal clap!
0:11:12 > 0:11:14THEY CLAP LIKE SEALS
0:11:14 > 0:11:17That's Dexter, he runs the place.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19The seal clap's our thang.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22OK, ready to win some regionals?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24THEY CLAP LIKE SEALS
0:11:24 > 0:11:27You guys would just seal clap and whoop and cheer
0:11:27 > 0:11:29everything I'd say, wouldn't you?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31THEY CLAP LIKE SEALS
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Hi, are the additions in here?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36THEY GIGGLE
0:11:36 > 0:11:38So we're, like, all ready to dance
0:11:38 > 0:11:40and then this guy walks in and I'm like,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42"Who's this loser?"
0:11:42 > 0:11:44What's your name?
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Oh, I'm Rad. Rad Radley Radisson.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53Well, Rad Radley Radisson, you're in the right place!
0:11:53 > 0:11:55FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Or maybe you ain't.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Maybe you're in the wrong place.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Let's see what you got.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03Awesome!
0:12:03 > 0:12:08FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Arrggghhh!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Still reckon you've got what it takes?
0:12:21 > 0:12:28BIRDIE SONG PLAYS
0:12:37 > 0:12:40HE BREAKS WIND
0:12:40 > 0:12:42THEY SCREAM
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Welcome to the team!
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Wow, I've never seen moves that fresh.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Take it, it's free-range.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Awesome!
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Next time on The Next Diddy,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56will Rad ever get into his dancing shoes?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Mum!
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Will Chuck ever get out of his dressing room?
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Mum!
0:13:04 > 0:13:07And what happens when Courtney's egg hatches?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Arrrgghhh!
0:13:08 > 0:13:10HEN CLUCKS
0:13:12 > 0:13:16You know, I remember sitting on this very sofa with you
0:13:16 > 0:13:18watching Street Magic on TV.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20That was just now.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22You're having nostalgia for ten minutes ago.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I remember you telling me I was having nostalgia for
0:13:25 > 0:13:28ten minutes ago like it was only yesterday.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31You're having nostalgia for right now!
0:13:31 > 0:13:32I tell you, that is nothing, lad.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36I remember when this show came to an abrupt end in five seconds' time.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Now you're having nostalgia for something that hasn't happened yet!
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Ohh!
0:13:42 > 0:13:45And that's another day of Diddy programmes -
0:13:45 > 0:13:48or exhibit B, as the court will call it.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50# Diddy TV, Diddy TV
0:13:50 > 0:13:54# Channel 6597423
0:13:54 > 0:13:57# A brand-new rival for the BBC
0:13:57 > 0:14:00# It's Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV
0:14:04 > 0:14:07# Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV. #