0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Larry Weinsteinberger, the Diddy Movies boss
0:00:04 > 0:00:06# His last few films have flopped with catastrophic money loss
0:00:06 > 0:00:10# So he's ditching Diddy Movies for the thrill of television
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# The small screen is the future for those with any vision
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# But Larry's bottom dollar, he's launched a TV station
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Packed with creativity, style and innovation
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Diddy TV, Diddy TV
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# Channel 6597423
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# A brand-new rival for the BBC
0:00:30 > 0:00:34# It's Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV. #
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Hello. Blackmail is an ugly word,
0:00:36 > 0:00:39but it's, nevertheless, the right one
0:00:39 > 0:00:41if you're wondering why we make The Dom Show.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45# Dom, Dom, Dom. #
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Hello, and welcome to The Dom Show. MUFFLED SHOUTING
0:00:49 > 0:00:51The inexplicably popular show all about Dom.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54- Unfortunately, Dom can't be here today...- I'm here.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- I'm here!- Shut up!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58So I'll be taking his place.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Come to think of it, let's make a few changes around here.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05# Dick, Dick, Dick! #
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Hello, and welcome to The Dick Show.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Later on, I'll be staring at my own reflection in the mirror.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14MUFFLED SHOUTING Shut up!
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Anyway, now, it's over to me to see
0:01:17 > 0:01:19some of my favourite dance moves.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# Dick, Dick, Dick! #
0:01:22 > 0:01:24# Oh-what-wow
0:01:24 > 0:01:27# He's the greatest dancer... #
0:01:27 > 0:01:29What are you doing with my show?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Here, you, go away. You weren't here.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Oh, yeah. That's cos someone tied me up and stuck me
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- down the back of the sofa! - How very rude of whoever that was.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Anyway, you're too late.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41It's my show now, so sling your hook.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Ooh, we'll see about that.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Hi, and welcome to The Dom Show.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50# Dom... #
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Hi, and welcome to The Dick Show.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54# Dick...! #
0:01:54 > 0:01:58That's all we've got time for on The Nan Show this week.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00See you next time.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05# Nan! Nan! Nan! #
0:02:05 > 0:02:07BOTH: Shut up!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11What?
0:02:11 > 0:02:12Oh.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14It's time for Deadly Diddy 60.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Hi, I'm Dick Fearless and this is Deadly Diddy 60
0:02:23 > 0:02:26where I find 60 of the most scariest animals in the world
0:02:26 > 0:02:28and wiggle them in your eyes.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32I'm so fearless, I snog scorpions.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36CRUNCH! Get it off! Get it off!
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Get it off!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43SHE SCREAMS
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Thanks, Julie.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47What's wrong with her?
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Oh, it's the deadly animal thing again, isn't it?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Deadly Diddy 60.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- What number are you one now?- 32.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Right, nearly halfway there. I get how it works.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I put my hand in the box
0:02:59 > 0:03:01and there's a dangerous animal inside like a poisonous badger
0:03:01 > 0:03:03or a nuclear lizard,
0:03:03 > 0:03:07and then I end up getting bitten, sprayed or glowing green.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Right, come on. Let's get on with it.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Ah!
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Urgh!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16What's that?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17That's my lunch, Dom.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Cauliflower curry.- Cauliflower...
0:03:19 > 0:03:21SNAP! HE SCREAMS
0:03:21 > 0:03:23And a mousetrap.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Why do you keep a mousetrap in your lunchbox?!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Because I don't want anyone stealing it.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Hey, where's the animal?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32There.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- LOUD ROAR - Ah!
0:03:35 > 0:03:37What...is that?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39That is a tiger hedgehog.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43A giant tiger hedgehog!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Ooh, it's prickly, Dick.- Yeah.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49That's why you'll need to strap this on before you ride it.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Ride it?! You ride it.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I can't ride it, I'm scared of heights.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Now, off you go.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Use a stepladder.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01ROARING AND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS Oh, yeah.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03That's it, ride him, Dom.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06How do I make it stop?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Milk him! Milk him!
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Mmm, oh! Fresh from the hedgehog.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Until next time, dare to be scared.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22That show is an education, hey, Stampy?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Although, of course, I know loads about hedgehogs already.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Me, too. Spending all my time on the internet means I pick up
0:04:27 > 0:04:29loads of fun facts about everything hedgehog.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Known in folk tales as the hotchi-witchi,
0:04:31 > 0:04:34the collective noun is an array or a prickle of hedgehogs
0:04:34 > 0:04:36and a baby hedgehog is called a hoglet.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Right...
0:04:37 > 0:04:40But my favourite fun hedgehog fact is that a traditional
0:04:40 > 0:04:44remedy for earache was to pour melted hedgehog fat into your ears!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Well, yes, I mean, everyone knows that.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48What's your favourite hedgehog fact, Larry?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Um...my favourite fun hedgehog fact
0:04:50 > 0:04:53is that if you pop little cubes of cheese onto their spines
0:04:53 > 0:04:56you get a party snack that serves itself.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Oh, I never knew that, Larry.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Well, the internet doesn't know everything.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06The intense new mobile game that's completely free to play!
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Download it for free.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Open it for free.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Start playing it for free.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- Scissors.- Paper.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Scissors cut paper. You lose!
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Oh!
0:05:16 > 0:05:17Upgrade your warrior!
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Upgrade of warrior requires additional payment of actual money.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Upgrade your weapons!
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Upgrading weapons requires additional payment of actual money.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Upgrade your powers!
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Upgrading powers requires additional payment of actual money.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Lots of money, lots of money.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31If only I had a rock.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Paper and scissors are free.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Unlocking rocks requires additional payment of actual money.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- I have a rock! - Battle Of War!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Totally free to play.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Incredibly expensive to win.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45APPLAUSE
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Greetings, greetings, greetings.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49And welcome to Diddypops.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Tonight, a rare treat.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Back from their international sell-out tour,
0:05:54 > 0:05:58it's Diddy Dom And The Jitter Band!
0:06:00 > 0:06:04THEY PLAY UPBEAT MUSIC
0:07:22 > 0:07:28HE SCREAMS
0:07:28 > 0:07:31HE SOBS
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Mm.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39Well, time now to sharpen up your brain skills by avoiding this.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42THEME TUNE PLAYS
0:07:42 > 0:07:44APPLAUSE
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Hello...I'm Nick Fewer.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Welcome to...Diddydown.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Today we're joined by...Diddy Dick and Diddy Dom.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58So, Diddy Dick, if you'd like to...
0:07:58 > 0:07:59get us started.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Consonant, consonant, vowel, vowel,
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- consonant, consonant, vowel, consonant, consonant.- Right.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Your 30 seconds starts...
0:08:06 > 0:08:07now.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11TIME-UP MUSIC PLAYS
0:08:11 > 0:08:12That was quick!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14So, Diddy Dom. What have you got?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Nine.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Nine. And Diddy Dick.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Nine.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23So, Diddy Dom, what's your nine?
0:08:25 > 0:08:26What does that mean?
0:08:26 > 0:08:27It's the act
0:08:27 > 0:08:29of milking a tortoise.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Right...
0:08:30 > 0:08:32and Diddy Dick.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Means to eat a pen lid.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Right, I think...
0:08:38 > 0:08:42Let's just confirm this with Dictionary Corner.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Ooh, um...
0:08:44 > 0:08:48"Faufbjelk" with a silent B means to lasso a pig.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53And "faufbjelk" with a silent F
0:08:53 > 0:08:57is the act of milking a tortoise with a pen lid.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Mm.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00There's another nine-letter word.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It means, in your face, Nick!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Yeah, Nick.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Right, well, here's...
0:09:07 > 0:09:08today's conundrum.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Goodbye.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15APPLAUSE
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I do love the conundrum.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Everyone likes a good anagram, hey?
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Oh, yes.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Although, obviously, it's worth remembering
0:09:27 > 0:09:29the difference between an anagram and an antigram.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30Oh, obviously!
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Uh...remind me.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33In a true anagram,
0:09:33 > 0:09:34the rearranged letters spell out
0:09:34 > 0:09:36the definition of the original word or phrase.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39So a true anagram of 'punishment' is 'nine thumps'.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Uh...
0:09:41 > 0:09:44But an anti-gram means the exact opposite of the original,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47so an antigram of 'funeral' is 'real fun'.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Couldn't have said it better myself.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Did you get that off the internet, too, Stampy?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54What's your favourite anagram, Larry?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Oh... Um...
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Diddy is an anagram of...
0:10:00 > 0:10:02ididy...
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I never knew that, Larry.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Care for some sausage?
0:10:08 > 0:10:14UPBEAT THEME MUSIC PLAYS
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Previously on The Next Diddy...
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Rad trained to be a fireman.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Out of my way.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Chelsea learnt to play the spoons.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27And Chuck ate a cheese and ham bagel.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Why does this matter?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31It doesn't. Let's dance.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33# Awesome. #
0:10:33 > 0:10:35OK, everyone. Seal clap.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37THEY IMITATE SEALS
0:10:37 > 0:10:40OK, so, today we're going to practise love duets.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- ALL:- Whoop! Whoop!
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Guys!
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Seriously, with the whooping.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47I haven't even finished my sentence yet.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48OK, Courtney, you're up.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51And so is...
0:10:53 > 0:10:54..Rad.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57What?!
0:10:57 > 0:10:59There is no way this is happening!
0:10:59 > 0:11:02He's only been in the troupe for five seconds.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05He's taken my place and now he's taken my girl.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07It is on!
0:11:07 > 0:11:09# Awesome! #
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Hey, Rad.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19- Props on getting the dance, dude.- Seriously?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Are you sure you don't mind?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Hey, she's only my girlfriend and everything.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25I mean, why would I mind?
0:11:26 > 0:11:32Hey, can I, uh, show you something in here?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Sure.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37LAUGHS
0:11:37 > 0:11:39How are you going to dance with my girl now
0:11:39 > 0:11:41you're locked in the toilet?
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Uh, Chad? Chad?
0:11:43 > 0:11:45You kind of closed the door on me there, buddy.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Has anybody seen Rad?
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Uh, Chad, the door's locked.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Well, I guess you're up next, Chuck.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Let's dance!
0:12:00 > 0:12:04# Baby, you're a firework
0:12:04 > 0:12:08# Come on, let your colours burst
0:12:08 > 0:12:10# Make them go, "Ah, ah, ah..." #
0:12:10 > 0:12:14SHE SCREAMS
0:12:14 > 0:12:16# Ah, ah, ah! #
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- BANGING - Help! Can anybody hear me?
0:12:22 > 0:12:26CLOCK TICKS
0:12:34 > 0:12:38SCREAMING APPROACHES
0:12:38 > 0:12:40THEY CHEER
0:12:40 > 0:12:42No!
0:12:42 > 0:12:44It's OK, I got you.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46My hero!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50It is on!
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Next time on The Next Diddy,
0:12:51 > 0:12:53romance blossoms between Rad and Courtney.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56And Chuck has another bagel.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Seriously, guys, this so doesn't matter.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02# Awesome! #
0:13:02 > 0:13:04The Diddy Step is sponsored by Cat Spandex.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07The Spandex that really scratches.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- Cats are fascinating creatures, aren't they, Larry?- Here we go.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11More internet facts, hey?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Did you know most female cats are right pawed
0:13:14 > 0:13:16and most male cats are left pawed!
0:13:16 > 0:13:18No, I didn't know that.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Or that weight for weight,
0:13:19 > 0:13:23- cats' whiskers are stronger than tensile steel?- No!
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Or that cats are the only creatures that are able to
0:13:25 > 0:13:27breathe in the vacuum of space.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29No, I... Wait a minute.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Are you making these up?
0:13:32 > 0:13:33Doh!
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Well, that's the most important fact to remember about the internet.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Don't believe everything you read on it.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44And finally, infinite television showing the names of people
0:13:44 > 0:13:46who can't get proper jobs.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49# Diddy TV, Diddy TV
0:13:49 > 0:13:52# Channel 6597423
0:13:52 > 0:13:56# A brand-new rival for the BBC
0:13:56 > 0:13:59# It's Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV
0:14:02 > 0:14:05# Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV. #