0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Larry Weinsteinburger The Diddy Movies boss
0:00:04 > 0:00:06# His last few films have flopped with catastrophic money loss
0:00:06 > 0:00:10# So, he's ditching Diddy Movies for the thrill of television
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# The small screen is the future for those with any vision
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# With Larry's bottom dollar he's launched a TV station
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Packed with creativity style and innovation
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# Diddy TV, Diddy TV
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Channel 6597423
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# A brand-new rival for the BBC
0:00:29 > 0:00:31# It's Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV. #
0:00:34 > 0:00:36There's a change to the schedule now,
0:00:36 > 0:00:38as we've been forced to bring you an important programme
0:00:38 > 0:00:41in a last ditch bid to keep our broadcasting licence.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Meet Michael Nixon.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56A boy born with a rare genetic condition.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01Michael was born with a spoon for a nose.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03You get used to the stares.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05And it could be worse.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08I've met kids with chopsticks for eyebrows.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11I've even met one girl who had a garlic crusher for a chin.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15That's it, Michael. Give it a good thwack.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17He's very handy.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20I'm never looking for a teaspoon, that's for sure.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Argh!
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Michael.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Thank you, Michael.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39I like to make myself useful.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Argh. Argh!
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Although, sometimes that's easier said than done.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Why does everything smell of sugar?
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Actually, Michael's case is quite funny...
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Erm, rare. It's rare.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12In fact, his condition will only worsen with age.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15SLURPING
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Oh, sorry.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20That chart just makes me hungry.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Michael.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Your spoon's breaking up the picture again.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Oh, sorry, Dad.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34Mum, Dad, there's somebody I'd like you to meet.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36This is my girlfriend, Jessica.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Pleased to meet you.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Oh, no. There's two of them.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Jeff!
0:02:41 > 0:02:46- Pleased to meet you, love.- Sorry? - I said, "Pleased to meet you, love."
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Sorry, I can't hear you.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I've got forks for ears.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Handy for eating spaghetti, I suppose.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59And, so, things are finally looking up for Michael the spoon-nosed boy.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Oh, give us a cuddle.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- Ow!- Ow!
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Your prongs! Fork ears!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Spoon nose.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Although, there is still a long way to go.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15What a tragic story, eh, Barney?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Really makes you think.- Yeah.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Makes me think it's time for a bowl of cereal.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Or some soup.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Making an insightful, caring documentary like that
0:03:23 > 0:03:26really takes hard work and dedication, doesn't it?
0:03:26 > 0:03:27- I guess so.- Well, I made it.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29So, that means I'm a really hard-working
0:03:29 > 0:03:31and caring person, doesn't it?
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Yes.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36So, as a hard-working and caring person...
0:03:36 > 0:03:39can I ple-e-e-a-ase
0:03:39 > 0:03:41have a Blue Peter badge?
0:03:41 > 0:03:42No.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49What has two eyes, a beak and spits poisonous venom?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51An octopus, of course.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Nature's most misunderstood mollusc.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55They're lovable, affectionate
0:03:55 > 0:03:58and when they cuddle they never let go.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01HE SCREAMS
0:04:01 > 0:04:03It's time to change people's hearts and minds
0:04:03 > 0:04:05about these carnivorous, aquatic nightmares.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Which is why this year,
0:04:06 > 0:04:10we're asking you to be a sucker for October-pus.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12I'm a sucker for October-pus.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14I'm a sucker for October-pus.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16I'm a sucker for October-pus.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19He-e-elp!
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Yes, be a sucker this October.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Buy one of our non-removable rubber suckers
0:04:24 > 0:04:26and we'll make sure that some of all of the money
0:04:26 > 0:04:28goes directly to helping octopuses.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Whoever you are, make this October October-pus.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Octo-fun. - THEY LAUGH
0:04:34 > 0:04:38And they will thank you with every one of their three hearts.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Sensitive viewers should be aware
0:04:40 > 0:04:43that this next programme is equally bad for everyone.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Hello, and welcome to Diddypops.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52We are blessed tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Singing a timeless love song
0:04:54 > 0:04:57that has been top in the charts for a full 16 weeks,
0:04:57 > 0:05:00please give it up for ever and ever
0:05:00 > 0:05:03for Diddy Dom And The Jitters.
0:05:13 > 0:05:21# Ever and ever, forever and ever You'll be the one
0:05:21 > 0:05:25# That shines on me
0:05:25 > 0:05:30# Like the morning sun
0:05:30 > 0:05:38# Ever and ever, forever and ever you'll be my spring
0:05:38 > 0:05:41# My rainbow's end
0:05:41 > 0:05:46# And the song I sing
0:05:46 > 0:05:52# Take me far beyond imagination
0:05:54 > 0:05:58# You're my dream come true,
0:05:58 > 0:06:03# my consolation
0:06:03 > 0:06:07# Ever and ever, forever and ever you'll be... #
0:06:07 > 0:06:10HE WHISTLES
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- Oh, no!- Oh!
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Ah! Ah!
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Diddy fun as we watch our intrepid explorers get eaten by animals
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Up Diddy Creek.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31This part of Africa is home
0:06:31 > 0:06:34to the most aggressive mountain gorillas in the world.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38To survive, all we need to remember is not to feed them.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Wait! Where's Dom?
0:06:40 > 0:06:45Well, you see, the stock market can crash at any moment, overnight.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Uh-oh!
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Well, of course you're right. It's much more of a global crisis.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01If you feed a mountain gorilla it forms an unbreakable bond
0:07:01 > 0:07:03and will never, ever leave you.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Dom!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06No-o-oo!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09What?! ARGH!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- KISSING - Leg it!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Can I interest you in an after-dinner mint?
0:07:17 > 0:07:21More gruesome misfortunes served up for your viewing pleasure now
0:07:21 > 0:07:22in Crimediddy.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Mam. Mam. I've told you before,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32divvent call us at work, Mam. Mam.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Oh, hello.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35And naebody move.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Welcome to another edition of Crimediddy with me,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Diddy DI, Harry Batt.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42And this week, it's full of mystery.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44What's happened to this Diddy's eyebrows?
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Who's mug is this?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50And why has naebody told me
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I've got my trousers on back to front?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55But first, we're off to a school in Whitby.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59Where things have been gan missing.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Run VT.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01This is Jeff.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04He loves nothing more than sitting at the front of the classroom
0:08:04 > 0:08:07and dreaming up new punishments for the bairns.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Oh! A concrete board-rubber boomerang.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- JEFF LAUGHS - Makes me sick.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13But last Monday morning,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Jeff noticed that something was missing.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19That's right, the bird was a lesser-spotted Diddy pie.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23But more importantly the leaves were naewhere to be found.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27So, Jeff, when did you first notice...?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Oi! Oi! Oi! Come on, get out of it, man.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Oh. Get out.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Will you be taken in by that?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Sounds nothing like me.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37So, these leaves. Have they gone missing before?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40It happens every year. There's a serial leaf thief.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Hold on a moment.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43They go missing every year.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45What? Round about Autumn time?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47How do YOU know?!
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Oh.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51Gan on, get out of it, man.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53And do one. Eh?
0:08:53 > 0:08:57So, you can all sleep easy in yous beds, like.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Howay! What's going on?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I'm the real Harry.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Oh, no you're not. I'm the real Harry Batt.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Hold on a moment. There's two of yous?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Right. Come here.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Mam!
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Dad!
0:09:12 > 0:09:13Sorry, son.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16It was the only way we could get to see yous.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18You're so busy with work, love.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20We miss you.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Right, yous both nicked.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Now, remember, crimes like this
0:09:24 > 0:09:28that feature your parents dressing up as me are very, very rare.
0:09:28 > 0:09:33So, the best way not to have nightmares is never gan to sleep.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35So, until the next time,
0:09:35 > 0:09:37mind how you go.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Come on, you two.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41What are you doing, Barney?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I'm just checking I'm not my mum dressed up as me.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46No. No, I'm me. Phew.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Yeah, but still,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51making a show to help fight crime is a really good cause, isn't it?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Totally.- And I made that, too.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57So, that must mean that I'm really good person, right?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Yes.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02So, I was wondering, just possibly,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05maybe...
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Could I have a Blue Peter badge? Plee-e-e-a-ase?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- No!- Oh!
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Previously, on The Next Diddy.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Chuck was unhappy with Rad for dancing with Courtney,
0:10:16 > 0:10:18which made Chelsea angry because
0:10:18 > 0:10:21she wanted to dance with Rad, but Dexter said she wasn't allowed to.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22So, she tried to dance with Chuck instead,
0:10:22 > 0:10:25but Chuck had already said he'd only dance with Dexter and Rad
0:10:25 > 0:10:27which made Courtney look bad, so...
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Seriously, it's episode 98. If you don't know by now
0:10:30 > 0:10:32you never will. Let's dance!
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Awesome!
0:10:33 > 0:10:37We made it to the regional finals of the Made-y Up-y Dance Competition.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Woohoo!
0:10:40 > 0:10:43OK, guys, we made it.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I don't know how we got here, but we made it.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Erm... I came by bus.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- My mom dropped me. - Walked.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54It doesn't matter. I mean, what matters is we earn it.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Seal clap!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58THEY BARK LIKE SEALS
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Now, go get them.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Erm, Dexter.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Everyone's got cool monster costumes and I can't even see.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Oh, yeah. Here we go.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08What a prima donna.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Can't I be like a... Like a werewolf?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12It's too late. You're on.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21MUSIC: Monster Mash By Bobby "Boris" Pickett And The Crypt-Kickers
0:11:44 > 0:11:47CHEERING
0:11:51 > 0:11:53THEY CHATTER EXCITEDLY
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Super! That was fabulous. Was that good? Was that good?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57You smashed it out the water.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Mwah!
0:12:00 > 0:12:03MUSIC: Gangnam Style By Psy
0:12:07 > 0:12:09They're super amazing.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11We don't stand a chance.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12Hey!
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Where's Rad?
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Guys?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16Guys, where did you go?
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Go, Rad!- Sorry.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22What's he doing?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24He's only going and winning this thing.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28THEY CHEER
0:12:28 > 0:12:29AUDIENCE BOO
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Woo!
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Stop it!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Come on!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36More. Stop it!
0:12:36 > 0:12:39You stole the show.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- BRAYS LIKE A DONKEY - Thanks, Chuck.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43That's nice of you to...
0:12:46 > 0:12:47CHEERING
0:12:47 > 0:12:49It is on!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Oh, now, come on.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58If that's not worth a Blue Peter badge, I don't know what is.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Larry, I'm sorry.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02I can't just hand out Blue Peter badges.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04There are rules. You only get them for very specific reasons.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09- Like what?- Well, for gold, acts of selflessness or heroism.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10Yeah, what else?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Well, for a green badge you've got to do something for the environment.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- What else? - You could draw a picture.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17With these hands?
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Good point.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Oh, Barney. You're killing me here.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Well, there is one more thing you could try, Larry.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- Like what?- You could try asking me nicely.- Seriously?
0:13:25 > 0:13:26OK, here goes.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Barney, can I please, please, please, please, please, please,
0:13:30 > 0:13:33please, please, please, plee-e-e-ea-ase
0:13:33 > 0:13:35have a Blue Peter badge?
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Yes. In fact, here's one I made earlier.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42Ah! O-oh! Ah! Ah!
0:13:42 > 0:13:44That's it for Dizzy TV today.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46And all that remains is for me to go...
0:13:46 > 0:13:47HE BURPS
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Goodbye.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51# Diddy TV, Diddy TV
0:13:51 > 0:13:55# Channel 6597423
0:13:55 > 0:13:58# A brand-new rival for the BBC
0:13:58 > 0:14:02# It's Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV
0:14:05 > 0:14:08# Diddy Dick and Dom's Diddy TV. #