:00:06. > :00:14.With a casing made of aluminium - We do apologise viewers, we seem to
:00:14. > :00:23.have joined today's DNN at the end of the show. Please bear with us
:00:23. > :00:26.while we investigate. Well, what a show THAT was! I still can't believe
:00:26. > :00:28.that Camel survived. I know. And Justin Bieber
:00:28. > :00:31.parachuting in. You really couldn't make it up.
:00:31. > :00:33.Anyway, that's all from this series of DNN. I've been the outstanding
:00:33. > :00:35.Felicity Bond. And I've been the hatstanding Bob
:00:35. > :00:38.Roberts. Say goodbye, Bob.
:00:38. > :00:43.Goodbye, Bob! So, where are you going for your holidays, Flicky?
:00:43. > :00:47.Once again, we're very sorry, but we appear to have missed this week's
:00:47. > :00:51.episode of DNN. However, you have been good enough to tune in, so
:00:51. > :00:55.we'll leave the cameras rolling to give you an exclusive look at what
:00:55. > :00:56.goes on in the studio after the show.
:00:56. > :01:04.goes on in the studio after the Well done, everyone. See you all
:01:04. > :01:06.next series, apart from the people I'm getting sacked. And
:01:06. > :01:10.next series, apart from the people out this hatastrophe! So
:01:10. > :01:10.next series, apart from the people Ha! What's this for? Snorkelling?
:01:10. > :01:12.No. They're Ha! What's this for? Snorkelling?
:01:12. > :01:14.You sleep in this? Yes,
:01:14. > :01:18.You sleep in this? Whoa, whoa,
:01:18. > :01:20.You sleep in this? That must mean there's a breaking
:01:20. > :01:23.story from on-the-spot reporter Phil Tyme. You often miss the story,
:01:23. > :01:30.Phil. But this week you've missed the entire show! We're off air! I
:01:30. > :01:33.know that but this is one exclusive you're going to want to
:01:33. > :01:37.know that but this is one exclusive I am standing outside the head
:01:37. > :01:42.office of our late night sister show DNN, no nonsense nightly news live
:01:42. > :01:45.as ever. More than ever. Thank you. I am here because you're not going
:01:45. > :01:52.to believe what I found in my e-mails this morning. Yes, was it an
:01:52. > :01:58.eagle? You can't send an eagle by e-mail, Bob. Heads up, everyone.
:01:58. > :02:05.That eagle is still in my office. No, it was a private message, shh,
:02:05. > :02:11.sent to me, privately by someone at DNNNNN. Get this they're finally
:02:11. > :02:15.giving Henry Smart a cohost. What? Yes, I knew that would get your
:02:15. > :02:19.attention, but brace yourself. There's more. The e-mail also says
:02:19. > :02:23.they have had their eyes on DNN, and there is only one person for the
:02:23. > :02:28.job. It's one of us people. Well, I'm not doing it. I don't think it's
:02:28. > :02:33.you, Bob. Exactly. Don't touch what you can't afford. This is not just
:02:33. > :02:38.breaking news. This is something that could change the face of DNN
:02:38. > :02:43.forever. Me and Terry aren't budging until we get this amazing exclusive,
:02:43. > :02:49.so watch this space, people. See you in a bit. Thanks, Phil. I don't
:02:49. > :02:58.believe it. It's finally happening. What is happening? Tymal Mills? At
:02:58. > :03:01.last!! Thank you, hair genie! No Bob, I mean I'm finally moving to
:03:01. > :03:04.DNNNNNN. Er, hold on a sausage. What makes
:03:04. > :03:07.you think you'll get the job? Er, who else is there?
:03:07. > :03:14.What do you mean? Have you seen our show? This is Phil
:03:14. > :03:21.time - live! Excuse me. I am on a date with Harry - no! Not in front
:03:21. > :03:25.of the camera. Oh, sorry. Right. Can you get this out of my face? I am
:03:25. > :03:32.trying to do some work here. Jahmene, I love the whole hand thing
:03:32. > :03:37.you do. Boom! How about walk the dog? Let's walk the dog. This is not
:03:37. > :03:43.appropriate for a journalist of my stature. Milk a cow. Let's milk a
:03:43. > :03:48.appropriate for a journalist of my me to make the tea, don't
:03:48. > :03:51.OK. Ahh! I am a very patient person with
:03:51. > :04:09.a beautiful soul! Right. To you. Ahh! I am a very patient person with
:04:09. > :04:12.Well, I, for one, cannot see what you're driving at. All seems
:04:12. > :04:14.perfectly normal to me. Flying donkeys would seem normal to
:04:14. > :04:17.you. Ah, yes. Uncle Dobbin - now that man
:04:17. > :04:25.could flap. Can we get a feed open to the
:04:25. > :04:28.DNNNNNN studio? Oh, please can we not? I've already
:04:28. > :04:30.had three naps today. Ah - Hello, Felicity!
:04:30. > :04:32.Hi, Henry. And hello, Bob.
:04:32. > :04:36.Oh, told you. So what's all this I hear about you
:04:36. > :04:39.getting a co-host from DNN, Henry? Well, that's certainly the rumour,
:04:40. > :04:44.Felicity. Does this mean we'll be working together soon?
:04:44. > :04:49.You think it'll be me, Henry? LAUGHTER
:04:49. > :04:52.Well, I hope your ears are up to it. I genuinely have no idea who it's
:04:52. > :04:56.going to be, Felicity, but rest assured, I have my fingers crossed.
:04:56. > :04:57.I'll be in touch as soon as I hear anything.
:04:57. > :05:00.Thank you, Henry. Oh, and bye-bye, Bob.
:05:00. > :05:03.Missing you already, Henry. Oh, wait a minute. No, I'm not. Shaboom! Got
:05:03. > :05:07.him! He's gone.
:05:07. > :05:10.Oh. Well, I don't know what you're getting so excited about anyway.
:05:10. > :05:12.Who'd want to be on DNNNNNN? It's so BORING.
:05:12. > :05:14.They're the most credible news show on television, Bob. They've
:05:14. > :05:17.interviewed Obama. Yes, and we've interviewed a llama.
:05:17. > :05:26.What's your point?! We get great interviews! This is Gary oding for
:05:26. > :05:31.DNN now joined by my complornsal friend Andy Murray. Who are you? You
:05:31. > :05:38.look nothing like you do in the film. That's good. How long did the
:05:38. > :05:43.makeup take? Um, it's a cartoon.I have never been to Roy MacEl-Roy's
:05:43. > :05:49.birthday party. I think it's "-McIlroy". He picked you. No, he
:05:49. > :05:57.picked you. Really?It doesn't matter. Mates before princesses.
:05:57. > :06:01.Oggie! It's Gary Ogden - do you remember that? I think you have the
:06:01. > :06:04.wrong bloke. Not number one, Lawson. I said number two, Lawson. You think
:06:04. > :06:11.my name is Andy? I said number two, Lawson. You think
:06:11. > :06:22.swimming stroke. No. I said number two, Lawson. You think
:06:22. > :06:31.Spraggen. Sproggon. Spraggen. OK.
:06:31. > :06:36.Spraggen. Sproggon. Spraggen. this? I need to think like a hose!
:06:36. > :06:42.What's 57 rounded to the nearette 10th? 60. And don't even think about
:06:42. > :06:47.squirting that thing at me. My hair is waterproof anyway. She goes in
:06:47. > :06:50.through my nose and my head while I am asleep. It is called
:06:51. > :06:56.visualisation. It really helps me get into the mind of the trees. If
:06:56. > :07:01.you even touch that finger, I'll make sure you never work in TV
:07:01. > :07:05.again. Don't think I won't! What are you supposed to be? Come off it,
:07:05. > :07:09.Terry. It's clearly not real. Knock, knock. Who is there? What do you
:07:09. > :07:14.want? Who sent you, and where is your identification? The
:07:14. > :07:19.interrupting cow! I don't get it. No! You have offered to cycle around
:07:19. > :07:25.for us today. No, I haven't. You're going out for the day, and then
:07:25. > :07:30.suddenly you go, oh, no, I forgot to do my makeup. That would never
:07:30. > :07:34.happen. Why not? Because I am not an idiot.
:07:34. > :07:36.Wellll, I say potato, you say "potahto".
:07:36. > :07:42.I do NOT say "potahto". Ah-hah! You just did! It's the lies
:07:42. > :07:46.that hurt the most. Er, excuse me, FeliciBob, I was just
:07:46. > :07:48.packing up all of my Harry Styles-abilia, and I overheard Gary
:07:48. > :07:50.in the toilets. Oh, dear. Was it "nuclear pants
:07:50. > :07:52.Wednesday"? What's "nuclear pants Wednesday"?
:07:52. > :08:01.The day after "curried fajita Tuesday." Woo!
:08:02. > :08:06.Eeewww! No, he was dishing some megagoss about one of us getting a
:08:06. > :08:08.new job? Is it me? It's me, isn't it?!
:08:08. > :08:10.Well, it could be anyone from the DNN family.
:08:10. > :08:13.Right, stopface. Can I just say, you lot are NOT my family.
:08:13. > :08:15.Yes, we are, little one. Phil's the bumbling uncle. Nellie's the strict
:08:15. > :08:18.auntie. I guess Davina would be our crazy
:08:18. > :08:21.cousin - twice removed. Yep, Jahmene's the teenage son. And
:08:21. > :08:24.Gary's the family pet. Whoa - what does that make us?
:08:24. > :08:27.Easy. You're mum and dad. Er, we are NOT mum and dad.
:08:27. > :08:31.You're not actually my mother! Hey, don't talk to your mother like
:08:31. > :08:32.that! Go to your room, Stacey Mayonnaise.
:08:32. > :08:33.It's "Stacey-May ANAIS"! Argh, you are so annoying!!!
:08:33. > :08:44.See? Family. are so annoying!!!
:08:44. > :08:59.You're saying you actually want to work on the stuffiest news show in
:08:59. > :09:12.You're saying you actually want to Right! Henry Smart
:09:12. > :09:13.You're saying you actually want to Ah, you bunch of southern softies.
:09:13. > :09:17.Anyway, I'm just giving the Ah, you bunch of southern softies.
:09:17. > :09:21.She's got a point. They don't do THAT at DNNNNNN, Flicky. Here, we
:09:21. > :09:24.let our viewers have their say. Calling him a moose is something so
:09:24. > :09:28.silly to do. Why couldn't he have done a tree or Alan Titchmarsh? You
:09:28. > :09:33.reckon Jedward are clones? They look the same, talk the same, have the
:09:33. > :09:38.same hair. It's like they're twins! The best thing about packed lunches
:09:38. > :09:44.is if there's something you don't like you swap it with friends for
:09:44. > :09:50.crisps and desserts. I haven't managed to swap my bean salad, but
:09:50. > :10:04.maybe one day. I love my packed lunches. I love them so much that I
:10:04. > :10:08.even -- We take the news to Aye, it's true. And we don't just
:10:08. > :10:12.listen. We take the news to THEM, an all.
:10:12. > :10:55.Heel, Brian! Heel! Woaaaah! It can get seriously annoying and a
:10:55. > :10:58.bit more-ish. Heel, Brian! Ahh! Say what you like about his work,
:10:58. > :11:00.Jahmene Mann really knows his way around a good cup of tea.
:11:00. > :11:03.You're not wrong, all unfortunately.
:11:03. > :11:05.True. Seriously, have you forgotten your passport or something?! Get
:11:05. > :11:09.out! Calm down, Bob. That must mean Phil
:11:09. > :11:11.Tyme's got some news about the DNN- NN-NN job for us. What do you know,
:11:11. > :11:14.Phil? No name I have found out one thing - it's
:11:14. > :11:17.definitely a I have found out one thing - it's
:11:17. > :11:30.it. I know. It's Factor, this, so that narrowing it
:11:30. > :11:36.down to Stacey-May! Nellie - Davina! And you, Felicity. Slightly
:11:36. > :11:38.down to Stacey-May! Nellie - Davina! running myself, but if you take me,
:11:38. > :11:39.down to Stacey-May! Nellie - Davina! you've also got to take Terry, and
:11:39. > :11:45.no-one who eats that you've also got to take Terry, and
:11:45. > :11:49.in an enclosed space - disgusting, so the big boss is going to be out
:11:49. > :11:57.in a few minutes, and we'll be waiting here, live and exclusively
:11:57. > :12:00.for DNN. Don't go anywhere. Right. Let's have another looksee.
:12:00. > :12:04.What's all this, Felicity? It's all my old hair, Bob. BOB:
:12:04. > :12:05.Well, why are you taking it on holiday?
:12:05. > :12:09.Because I'm worth it. You see, you constantly surprise me,
:12:09. > :12:17.Felicity. That's why I think DNNNNNNNN - that's why "that show"
:12:17. > :12:28.is a bad idea. At least here you never know what to expect. Come on.
:12:28. > :12:35.Let's get this grey hair. Come on. Fly, Keith. Just to mind light! Oh,
:12:35. > :12:49.Keith. This is Alan. My actual name is eeee! Eeeegh! No, the gh is
:12:49. > :12:55.silent as in snowplow. Live on the banks of Snowdonia... Oh, wrong
:12:55. > :12:59.specs. These are my head tray ones. No! My cape of justice will protect
:12:59. > :13:04.us! Nice canoe, by the way. I was hoping
:13:04. > :13:14.you wouldn't notice. What idiot runs security here? Ten-four, all quiet
:13:14. > :13:23.here. My pleasure.My pleasure. No, it's my pleasure. It's my pleasure.
:13:23. > :13:28.This is mega-anti-lol. My pleasure. My pleasure. Whoa, Felicity, you
:13:28. > :13:31.didn't dell me you had a sister. My pleasure! My pleasure! Robert, do
:13:31. > :13:34.you want me to come into the pleasure! My pleasure! Robert, do
:13:34. > :13:38.and have words in person? Is that what you want? She's in your dress!
:13:38. > :13:44.Turn it off. How is this my career? what you want? She's in your dress!
:13:44. > :13:46.But don't you like stability, Bob? Of course I like you. And it's
:13:46. > :13:47.pronounced Of course I like you. And it's
:13:47. > :14:08.Right, damage control. If you DO get Of course I like you. And it's
:14:09. > :14:15.drive. Gary Ogden. I'm doing it, daddy, I mean Benny.
:14:15. > :14:27.drive. Gary Ogden. I'm doing it, Ogden. Smaller, smaller than that...
:14:27. > :14:39.Gary Ogden. I am! Gary Ogden. OK, point taken.
:14:39. > :14:41.Jahmene. LAUGHTER
:14:41. > :14:46.That still leaves you with three solid professional choices. There's
:14:46. > :14:51.Nellie, Stacey-May and Davina. So, clowns, are they hilarious or
:14:51. > :14:57.terrifying? Or just people who've bought too much white foundation and
:14:57. > :15:03.need to grow up? ! Tornadoes are going to rip through like the
:15:03. > :15:09.judgmental mother-in-law looking for dust. Not done, you are very
:15:09. > :15:14.unprofessional. I've got lozengers OK, don't think I won't use 'em.
:15:14. > :15:22.There 'll be rain. I've not looked at the satellite aimages, but it's
:15:22. > :15:29.Wales for an educated guess. I'm better than a bumblebee. Never put a
:15:29. > :15:38.pun in my autocue again. In the glorious emerald paradise that is
:15:38. > :15:45.Newcastle... ! You have ruined it. Like everything. This is the worst
:15:45. > :15:53.holiday I've ever had. The main thing we've learned from all this is
:15:53. > :15:59.not to mess with Nellie Osman. I hope you are listening, Robert. You
:15:59. > :16:03.can't believe leave. Why not? Because of those three. Play the
:16:03. > :16:08.tape. You have to have a heart of stone to leave
:16:08. > :16:10.tape. You have to have a heart of # Just the two of us... #
:16:10. > :16:15.There's an egg in my cup. Better. # Just the two of us... #
:16:15. > :16:24.think Bob is the best # Just the two of us... #
:16:24. > :16:26.anchor. Bob. I won. I don't know how to describe it. Like the USA, the
:16:26. > :16:31.United States are awesome. to describe it. Like the USA, the
:16:31. > :16:34.all of this is a dream. If it was a dream,
:16:34. > :16:42.all of this is a dream. If it was a Once again, let go of my
:16:43. > :16:45.all of this is a dream. If it was a about the news. That's better. Is
:16:45. > :16:53.that a horse wearing trousers? Where? My mistake.All queue here.
:16:53. > :16:58.Cancel that and send reinforcements. Happy place, Bob.
:16:58. > :17:08.# Just the two of us... # Ought to Tutankhamen. That's how you
:17:08. > :17:15.break the news. Look at him. I can tell he's thinking. There are three
:17:15. > :17:18.Bs in Bob Roberts. Look, it was a lovely tape, Bob, but this is the
:17:18. > :17:25.big break that I've been waiting for. Stay! I'll pay you. In belly
:17:25. > :17:31.button fluff. Not an incentive, Bob. It's all I have. Would you stay if I
:17:31. > :17:34.finally finish telling you about Nellie's unfortunate incident?
:17:34. > :17:39.Maybe. Come on, hit me. No! I meant with the story. Oh, all
:17:39. > :17:44.right. Kill the studio power, no screens, no curtains, no reflective
:17:44. > :17:52.surfaces. I'm taking no chances with Nellie popping up.
:17:52. > :17:55.So, where've we got to? We were heading to Buckingham Palace and she
:17:55. > :18:00.didn't realise there was a Princess behind her. I tell a lie, it was
:18:00. > :18:10.Lennox Lewis, but he was in a ball gown. In came the famous shoe
:18:10. > :18:13.designer. Jimmy Choo?Bless you. Nellie goes to see the person
:18:13. > :18:18.honourable friending the horn and it was bill Turnbull off Breakfast with
:18:18. > :18:27.a bass guitar. Them they go on a road trip, drive up to the skinny
:18:27. > :18:32.aisles. Scilly.I know! The camper van had been modified by that
:18:33. > :18:37.footballer Robbie. Savage?No, he's nice. Before too long they realised
:18:37. > :18:39.footballer Robbie. Savage?No, he's they'd taken a wrong turn. They
:18:39. > :18:44.emerged from the sea, Nellie popped out to pick up a French pancake.
:18:44. > :18:52.Cpepe? Anton Du Beke's blimp. Careful what
:18:52. > :19:06.you say, Anton Du Beke's blimp. Careful what
:19:06. > :19:12.no, no, no! Not now.What's it to be, Flicky?
:19:12. > :19:17.job? Let's assume our position, Bob. OK, this is the big one. Do you know
:19:17. > :19:21.who's got the job? Don't rush me, Felicity, it's my big
:19:21. > :19:25.who's got the job? Don't rush me, because here comes the DNNNNNN big
:19:25. > :19:31.boss right now. Please show your utmost respect for his Lordship,
:19:31. > :19:37.little Alan Sugar. Hello, Phil. Hello, your grace, I believe you
:19:37. > :19:43.have some news for me to break? I do. It's here. Thank you.No
:19:43. > :19:51.problem. Back to the board room. Stay lucky, son.
:19:51. > :19:57.This is proper exciting, this. What is all the noise? I can't hear
:19:57. > :20:01.Harry. It's my business.Phil knows who got the job. Just tell us? All
:20:01. > :20:09.right, all right, keep your very nice hair on! They say, and I quote
:20:09. > :20:13."this woman constantly demonstrates charm and astonishing journalistic
:20:13. > :20:19.nous, as well as a staggering about ability to deal with Bob Roberts'
:20:19. > :20:24.relentless rubbish". That's everyone on the show. Got a point there,
:20:24. > :20:34.like. I can reveal the journalist who's landed the co- coanchor spot
:20:34. > :20:40.on DNNNNNN is... Woah woah woah
:20:41. > :20:50.I'm loving this, me. Here it comes. It's... Me... What? !What? ! You
:20:50. > :20:56.have ruined me exclusive. That was an autobiographies lute shoe-in as
:20:56. > :21:00.well. Cheese and crackers, man, I hate this job sometimes me. Terry,
:21:00. > :21:05.start the van, we are going home and take them back. Unbelievable.
:21:05. > :21:08.You got the job, but you are not allowed to be in
:21:08. > :21:10.You got the job, but you are not more. Finally someone's acknowledged
:21:10. > :21:13.You got the job, but you are not my skills and given me another
:21:13. > :21:16.chance because I'm a professional. I've known about it for weeks. Can
:21:16. > :21:31.someone get Henry. Is this true? I I've known about it for weeks. Can
:21:31. > :21:43.you. Is that Louise Minchin from BBC Breakfast? EU missed
:21:43. > :21:43.you. Is that Louise Minchin from BBC Great whosmt is it? Ellie Osmon.I'm
:21:43. > :21:46.surprised, especially after the unfortunate business last year.
:21:46. > :21:51.Thursday that was blown unfortunate business last year.
:21:51. > :21:56.proportion. Not really. Let's not forget my friend Bill was there. He
:21:56. > :22:02.even sent me some pictures. Have a look. It's appalling.A bit.
:22:02. > :22:10.Seriously? How did they get an elephant up the Eiffel Tower? What
:22:10. > :22:16.is it, Henry? I think you had better take a look at this. Is that Nellie?
:22:16. > :22:23.What's Taylor swift doing on a bungee rope? Can't look. Sorry,
:22:23. > :22:27.chaps, I've got to go. Some sports reporter's invited me to a barbecue,
:22:27. > :22:33.he says we are close personal friends. Can't place him. Bye. Well,
:22:33. > :22:38.this will not do, you are fired. No, please, I want to just be back in
:22:38. > :22:42.the studio. So what happens now? Plan B.
:22:42. > :22:48.Hey, Felicity Bond is nobody's Plan B. You are right. And anyway, I
:22:48. > :22:54.couldn't leave you guys, I'm staying. Plan C then. Send her in.
:22:54. > :23:02.You are mired! Hello. What? Who is that? Does she
:23:02. > :23:10.work here? I've literally never seen her ball. Hello DNN studio, an
:23:10. > :23:18.excellent decision. My reputation remains as untarnished as a freshly
:23:18. > :23:25.ly starched pair of smalls. Now cut the link, you are wasting
:23:25. > :23:29.electricity. You knead a hair cut! I can't believe it. Sticking with
:23:29. > :23:34.us, Felicity? Yes, Bob, I am.So are you Nellie, I've got to say I'm
:23:34. > :23:39.quite relieved. You are the best journalist here! Really?Bob!
:23:39. > :23:43.quite relieved. You are the best is. And I promise I'll never mention
:23:43. > :23:49.the unfortunate incident ever again. You promise. Thank you. Was that a
:23:49. > :23:57.smile? No. Group hug. So until next time,
:23:57. > :23:57.smile? No. Group hug. So until next irpressible Bob Roberts. Say
:23:57. > :24:00.goodbye, Bob?