:00:14. > :00:19.Roberts. You're watching DNN. up on today's show: Stupid
:00:19. > :00:23.criminals! Formula One.And Hollywood star Miranda Cosgrove.
:00:23. > :00:29.Seriously, Bob, what are you doing? I worked out what the words on the
:00:29. > :00:39.screen are. It's a karaoke machine. No, it's an autocue. And you are a
:00:39. > :00:53.
:00:53. > :01:00.bit flat All the news you needOn second. That's better. No, that's
:01:00. > :01:04.better. That's the biggest mug on this show. No, that would definitely
:01:04. > :01:14.be you, Bob. Finally getting the respect I deserve. The headlines:
:01:14. > :01:22.
:01:22. > :01:25.Cats find a solution to not having pockets. Gina from Tracy Beaker
:01:25. > :01:31.returns caught cheating in moustache growing competition. The Queen
:01:31. > :01:37.disguises herself as a bear but is rumbled by passers-by. Never mind
:01:37. > :01:41.about that, I have a story to break. Unicorns at Ascot? Not that,
:01:41. > :01:45.somebody's printing news on paper and selling it That would be a
:01:45. > :01:49.newspaper, Bob. There is a name for it? How long has this been going on?
:01:49. > :01:55.I am furious. Look, they've left it half-done. They expect me to fill in
:01:55. > :02:05.the words. The bum-bums! That's a crosswoord Well, I am angry.No,
:02:05. > :02:06.
:02:06. > :02:13.it's a puzzle. It certainly is, Felicity. Time for the showbiz news
:02:13. > :02:19.with the diva who puts the strop into pop. Stacey Mayonnaise. It's
:02:19. > :02:24.Stacey-May. Can't you get anything right? Let me answer that on camera
:02:24. > :02:29.two, yes. What's happening this week in showbiz? Well, Hollywood star
:02:29. > :02:33.Miranda Cosgrove... No, graphic, you can't have her. What are you doing?
:02:33. > :02:38.Saving your life! I have to interrupt you, that means there is
:02:38. > :02:45.breaking news. That's not fair, I was here first. Let's cross to the
:02:45. > :02:50.unlucky reporter who's missed more events than sleeping beauty. Hello,
:02:50. > :02:54.Phil Hi, I am live at a botanical garden in the heart of
:02:54. > :03:01.Nottinghamshire where it's like my favourite show, Springwatch. I am
:03:01. > :03:10.trying to get exclusive rare footage of a very elusive animal. What is
:03:10. > :03:17.it? A leopard, a mammoth, a leopammoth, an animal I made up?
:03:17. > :03:23.it's a bumblebee I am better than a bumblebee! For Phil, this is good.
:03:23. > :03:29.Thank you. With me is famous zoologist Dr Honey Potts who tell me
:03:29. > :03:34.this rare bee has been spotted in these grounds and it's up to us to
:03:34. > :03:39.track it down. Yes, this particular bee is the rarest member of the
:03:39. > :03:44.Bombus family All right, no one cares about the science. What we are
:03:44. > :03:49.interested in is the exclusive. ? that case, I am afraid there is no
:03:49. > :03:54.bee as of yet. It's already been six hours. Nothing doing yet. But once
:03:54. > :03:59.it shows up we will be here to spot it live. Back to the studio. Thanks,
:03:59. > :04:09.Phil. Looking forward to that exclusive. When pigs fly. Flying
:04:09. > :04:12.
:04:12. > :04:17.pigs? I just washed my car. This week musician Andrew set feet
:04:17. > :04:20.tapping when he drummed for 24 hours as part of a ceremony. Nothing
:04:20. > :04:24.unusual there. Awards are full of people banging their own drums
:04:24. > :04:34.you would know. Drumming is great. You can use anything for percussion,
:04:34. > :04:42.I have used a bucket, pans, mixing bowl and my voice. Let's go.
:04:42. > :04:48.Boom-boom, check! Oh no! I don't think I will bother mum, actually.
:04:48. > :04:57.love you 24-hour drumming man! I love you so much I am playing my own
:04:57. > :05:02.head. Ow! I can't say I am impressed. I played the drums all
:05:02. > :05:07.day in a marching band through the rain in silence with half a biscuit
:05:07. > :05:16.to share with the group. It was the happiest time of my life! Time to go
:05:16. > :05:22.to the guy who puts the T into teapots, just not often enough. It's
:05:22. > :05:28.Jahmene. With you in a sec, just blogging. Shouldn't be cutting down
:05:28. > :05:34.trees. Blogging, not logging.I need to e-mail my lumber jack. Magazines
:05:34. > :05:40.are full of celebrities with strange and hilarious faces. Look at this
:05:40. > :05:44.picture of be-- Beyonce We have all done it, I have licked a toilet seat
:05:44. > :05:51.before. I have been out seeing what contorted kisses you can make when
:05:51. > :05:55.you put your minds to it. Let's meet the street. Even I have had pictures
:05:55. > :06:05.taken of me where I have looked less than my best. How good are you the
:06:05. > :06:18.
:06:18. > :06:28.public at pulling silly faces? Let's Is that not funny enough? It's quite
:06:28. > :06:29.
:06:29. > :06:34.of Britain can pull a blinder. But if there's one thing that I have
:06:34. > :06:38.learned today, it's that you should check someone's pulling a funny face
:06:38. > :06:44.before you congratulate them on it. OK, now that's the best funny face I
:06:44. > :06:51.have seen all day. Excuse me The face you are pulling... I am not
:06:51. > :07:00.pulling a face. You are, you have got... Oh! OK. No, I mean... Not
:07:00. > :07:10.again, no, no! Who are you calling ugly? ! Back to the studio. Good
:07:10. > :07:13.
:07:13. > :07:22.work. I am being street. I even have a street name. Yeah?Yeah, it's Holy
:07:22. > :07:26.Well Road. Now crime. Don't do it. Especially if you are as bad at it
:07:26. > :07:30.as the thief who stole a digger but left a trail of dirt so thick that
:07:30. > :07:34.the police used it to find him. the news anchor who accidentally
:07:34. > :07:39.took an apple from the supermarket and when he got home found in his
:07:39. > :07:45.bag and was scared of the police he hid under his bed and came out
:07:45. > :07:51.because a worm crawled out of the apple and scared me - I mean him.
:07:51. > :07:57.Hush now, Bob. What are burglars doing to up their game? We sent
:07:57. > :08:01.reporter Nellie Osmond to find out. Thank you. A crime school has been
:08:01. > :08:06.set up To find out what goes on there I am going undercover as a
:08:06. > :08:15.burglar. I will be filming my report using this inconspicious secret
:08:15. > :08:21.camera. Random bag checks, common in school these days. Mobile phone. MP
:08:21. > :08:25.3 player. And a computer tablet. I am going to have to take these from
:08:25. > :08:35.you. I should have seen that coming. Let's see what's happening in the
:08:35. > :08:36.
:08:36. > :08:45.classroom. What do you do when you hear this sound? SIREN You run
:08:45. > :08:50.towards it. No, you do the opposite. They might be giving out ice-cream
:08:50. > :08:55.That's a van that sounds like this. Quick, the police, leg it! I can't
:08:55. > :09:00.believe my eyes, these are the worst burglars I have ever seen. Which one
:09:00. > :09:09.of these should you worry about when you are breaking in a house? A guard
:09:09. > :09:13.dog? A burglar alarm? An hamster? Hamster. Give me strength! I have
:09:13. > :09:16.heard enough. It's time I blew the whistle on this criminal college.
:09:16. > :09:26.Right, everyone stay where you are. I am calling the police. You lot are
:09:26. > :09:29.
:09:29. > :09:33.going to be in a lot of trouble. am the police. That's right, we have
:09:33. > :09:43.set this up to catch stupid criminals. You are all under arrest
:09:43. > :09:46.
:09:46. > :09:52.I am not. WP C Gordon, traffic warden. And me.Hang on, hang on!
:09:52. > :09:59.are all coppers? I am not.Nick her! Come here you. This hasn't gone
:09:59. > :10:06.according to plan. I haven't blown the lid op burglars. Not red-handed
:10:06. > :10:10.but red-faced. Back to you, Robert. Come on, I am trying to work here!
:10:10. > :10:14.Nellie, no stranger to the long arm of the law herself after that
:10:14. > :10:23.unpleasantness last year. We will be back after this short break. Don't
:10:24. > :10:28.turn over, you will crush your crisps! Back on in one minute.Look
:10:28. > :10:37.sharp and thick on. Make-up, I need a foot massage! Are you ever going
:10:37. > :10:40.to tell me what this mystery incident with Nellie was? She was at
:10:40. > :10:46.Buckingham Palace and Lennox Lewis was behind her Massage through the
:10:46. > :10:52.shoe. Why was Lennox Lewis in a ball gown? He is at Buckingham Palace,
:10:52. > :11:01.you have to look smart. I can barely feel anything! In came that famous
:11:01. > :11:07.shoe designer Jimmy ChooBless you. No, the shoe designer. I am still
:11:07. > :11:17.here, you know, just! She overhears more conversations than MI5 and Dot
:11:17. > :11:17.
:11:17. > :11:25.Cotton. Jimmy Choo.Honestly, blow your nose. Back on in five, four...
:11:25. > :11:32.Welcome back. News just in. News just out. In.Out, shake it all
:11:32. > :11:37.about. Scuba diving holiday for man with world's most powerful burp.
:11:37. > :11:43.Coronation Street's Steve breaks the pulling a scary face whilst eating a
:11:44. > :11:53.massive Sandwich record. And Cat realises it's left the bath
:11:54. > :11:57.
:11:57. > :12:04.with Stacey-May. Thank you, Felicity. As I was trying to say
:12:04. > :12:09.earlier, I have an interview with militia and do -- Miranda Cosgrove
:12:09. > :12:13.My cape will protect us. Seriously, capes are not even on trend. Sorry,
:12:13. > :12:20.we have to go back to Phil for breaking news. Is this a joke
:12:20. > :12:29.because jokes are meant to be funny. Any sign of that bee, Phil? Still no
:12:29. > :12:34.sign of this mysterious bumblebee. Earlier it turned out to be Terry's
:12:34. > :12:39.phone on vibrate. Is it off now? Good. Dr Potts, this bee has never
:12:39. > :12:48.been caught live on camera before. I think the question all that DNN's
:12:48. > :12:57.viewers want answered is just how famous will this make me? Will I get
:12:57. > :13:03.on to Springwatch? I don't see why not. Finally meets my crush Michaela
:13:03. > :13:09.Strachan. This is one exclusive I am not letting go. Back to the studio.
:13:09. > :13:15.Come on, you bumbling beauty! don't get the fuss with bees, what
:13:15. > :13:19.have they done for us? For a start they make honey. Yeah, pigeons make
:13:19. > :13:29.toothpaste! Seriously, they do. They made the honey on your toast right
:13:29. > :13:31.
:13:31. > :13:35.now. That's bee juice, ow! Sports news. Let's go to Gary Ogden's
:13:35. > :13:40.closest personal friend, it's Gary Ogden. Thanks, Bob. I am Gary Ogden.
:13:40. > :13:49.Here are the headlines from the sports locker: My close personal
:13:49. > :13:54.friend Matt Dawson fails his Cork hat-wearing proficiency test. At the
:13:54. > :14:01.world cheer leading championships an overenthusiastic competitor enters
:14:01. > :14:09.the knockout stage. And on EastEnders egg and spoon race is
:14:09. > :14:13.replaced by carton and two dinners race. Monty...I can't help noticing
:14:13. > :14:17.you are sporting a different look today, Gary. Everything OK? No, I
:14:17. > :14:25.can't find my trademark glasses have made a replacement from
:14:25. > :14:33.modelling clay and sticky tape. Why? It's my brand. I am Gary Goggles
:14:33. > :14:38.Ogden. How is my friend Frank Lampard going to recognise me?
:14:38. > :14:43.Borrow mine. I always keep a pair for emergency glamour situations
:14:43. > :14:48.Thanks, Bob. My pleasure.Today's big story, this weekend is the
:14:48. > :14:51.British Grand Prix. As the best racers gear up I have sent a man who
:14:51. > :14:58.is driven by the love of sport to get the inside track on Formula One.
:14:58. > :15:03.Over to you, Gary. Thank you, O'Garay. It's Grand Prix
:15:03. > :15:08.time for Silverstone. This is somewhere else. I am here to meet
:15:08. > :15:15.top F1 instructor Pete Stop. Pete, what can you tell me about F1 cars?
:15:15. > :15:21.Well, Gary, speeds of 360 kilometres per hour. They cost millions of
:15:21. > :15:26.pounds to make and have four wheels Fascinating stuff. I tell you what
:15:26. > :15:33.they need, they need a passenger seat. My close personal friend
:15:33. > :15:38.Lewisham I willen to can give me a lift -- Lewisham I will Lewis
:15:38. > :15:44.Hamilton can give me a lift home. Before I can let you near that, we
:15:44. > :15:54.need to test your skills on this. That thing? Ha! This is going to be
:15:54. > :15:57.
:15:57. > :16:02.a drive in the park. OK, start your engine. Vrrrr, VrrrrrYou have to
:16:02. > :16:12.drive, you cannot just make noises. Wow, this is more advanced.
:16:12. > :16:28.
:16:28. > :16:34.Gary, you must weave in and out of sport. What? I am all sports. I bet
:16:34. > :16:39.I could beat you at a race any day. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.Bring it on.
:16:39. > :16:46.do you get this off? This is not what I had in mind. Yes, and Gary
:16:46. > :16:52.takes the yellow jersey! Idiot.Sore loser. This is Gary Ogden, champion
:16:52. > :16:57.race driver covered in glory and lemonade. Back to you, Gary.
:16:57. > :17:00.Thanks, Gary. And thanks, Bob. These are amazing. I can see the tiny
:17:00. > :17:08.little hairs. It's like I have supervision. You probably should
:17:08. > :17:13.have supervision. Now let's cross to Davina for the weather. Can you
:17:13. > :17:21.guess what challenge we have set for you this week? I am in some kind of
:17:21. > :17:29.suit. Is it scuba diving? Remove the blindfold. This week we are
:17:29. > :17:33.challenging you to do the weather whilst wrestling sumo champion
:17:33. > :17:43.Sharran Alexander. Bring it on! First, let's look at the weather in
:17:43. > :17:45.
:17:45. > :17:50.the south and London, and you southern softies will be stumbling
:17:50. > :17:55.around in a fog thicker than Ian Beale. In Cornwall, it will be
:17:55. > :17:58.breezy and sunny. If you are in Northern Ireland and you want to
:17:58. > :18:08.know what's happening with the weather, get off your sofa and look
:18:08. > :18:08.
:18:08. > :18:17.out the window, you lapsy sofaloafers! -- lazy. Finally, the
:18:17. > :18:21.weather in Newcastle! Dramatic storms will sweep in from the
:18:21. > :18:28.north-east, reflecting the afinity that exists in the hearts of all
:18:28. > :18:35.Geordie people. You shall have a fishy on a little dishy. You shall
:18:35. > :18:42.have a fishy when the boat comes in. Away! Thanks, Davina.Don't thank
:18:42. > :18:49.me, I am up for anything. Yes, you are. Sharran, thank you, too.
:18:49. > :18:59.Astonishing, I have done wrestling before SumoNo, I have wrestled
:18:59. > :19:00.
:19:00. > :19:08.Susan Boyle. Great half-Nelson. she's been coaxed out of the toilets
:19:08. > :19:18.with a glassy magazine -- glossy magazine. Do you promise no more
:19:18. > :19:30.
:19:30. > :19:39.inter interruptions? I am vexed now. Go away. This week's big cinema
:19:39. > :19:45.release is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Interrupting! This week's
:19:45. > :19:48.big cinema release is Despicable Me 2, I decided to find out with
:19:48. > :19:57.Hollywood royalty, it's not a big deal for me, I do it all the time.
:19:57. > :20:02.The stars are back for a sequel. But the minions weren't doing interviews
:20:02. > :20:07.so I had to settle for Steve Carrell to tell me all about the film.
:20:07. > :20:13.First, I love the film ThanksIt was great. But you look nothing like you
:20:13. > :20:18.do in the film. That's good.How long did that make-up take? It's a
:20:18. > :20:26.cartoon. It's animated. So it was my voice but it wasn't actually me.
:20:26. > :20:33.long did it take you to draw it? The bald man has a daughter called Agnes
:20:33. > :20:40.played by one of my favourite Hollywood stars. You were in my
:20:40. > :20:45.favourite thing ever, how cool is that to be in that? It was fun.What
:20:45. > :20:55.was the weirdest thing you got to do? A lot of weird things, I was
:20:55. > :20:55.
:20:55. > :21:00.pelted by raisins once. A bunch of raisins from the sky. Yesterday
:21:00. > :21:06.someone threw a pack of walnuts at me. It hurt. As a Hollywood star
:21:06. > :21:10.what advice would you give someone who wanted to break into Harry
:21:10. > :21:13.Styles house? First of all, don't do that because you will probably be
:21:13. > :21:17.arrested. It's good to be a fan and support him and his career and love
:21:17. > :21:25.him. But from afar. If I broke in do you think he would be like hi,
:21:25. > :21:33.Stacey-May? No, he wouldn't be like that at all. He would be like I have
:21:33. > :21:37.a Taser, Stacey. Lipstick Taser. If there is a Despicable Me 3 you are
:21:37. > :21:43.probably going to need other people. Are you saying something? I am a
:21:43. > :21:48.little bit of a singer. I kind of came up with a song. All right.
:21:48. > :21:57.Maybe I could be in at the beginning singing and at the end. Do you want
:21:57. > :22:05.to sing with me? OK# Despicable 3, three are despicable, which one is
:22:05. > :22:11.best? # That is unpickable. I like it doesn't really have notes.
:22:11. > :22:21.just know when you have a lift. have to share it. It flows easily. I
:22:21. > :22:22.
:22:22. > :22:31.might take a picture of myself, but not with you. OK. Can I photobomb
:22:31. > :22:39.you? Hi, Miranda. When can I come to LA? This is your BFF! Pick up the
:22:39. > :22:43.phone! Stacey-May there. It's Stacey-Mayonnaise there. At least
:22:43. > :22:49.one of us is paying attention. to Phil at the gardens. Any luck
:22:49. > :22:54.with that rare bee? Well, we have been out here for ages now and still
:22:54. > :23:00.no bee. If you can believe it. Seriously, I am actually quite angry
:23:01. > :23:10.now. I would rather be at home. My hayfever's kicking off, my back is
:23:11. > :23:11.
:23:11. > :23:18.killing me, I am itching everywhere. Bee, ah! Oh, cheese and crackers.
:23:18. > :23:25.You smashed it. You smashed the rarest bee in the world! Oh, no.
:23:25. > :23:30.Well, there we are. An ultra rare bumblebee live, well not alive, on
:23:30. > :23:36.DNN. Any chaps I will still get on Springwatch -- any chance I will
:23:36. > :23:42.still get on Springwatch? Every chance you will get on Crimewatch.
:23:42. > :23:51.Take them back. Another great report from Phil there. What's this?
:23:51. > :23:58.is my newspaper, Felicity. The Bobograph This is the same words
:23:58. > :24:04.over. Not all of it. Bottom of page six. You have drawn a kitten.Yeah,
:24:04. > :24:09.Bob and cat. Shall we wrap this up? It's not a gift, just put it in your
:24:09. > :24:19.bag. That's all from us today.She's been the savvy Felicity Bond and
:24:19. > :24:20.