0:00:02 > 0:00:04Don't panic! I'm here!? Let's get started.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Oh, hello, Felicity! Cosy new set. I like it.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10- That's the cleaner's cupboard, Bob. - We have a cleaner?
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Come on - we can't be late for the new boss's first day.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15- New boss?- Wey-ey, man! The new boss is looking for yous!
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Absolutely! (Didn't get a word.) What new boss?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Don't you read your e-mails?
0:00:20 > 0:00:22No, but I do read your e-mails.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Gary, studio's this way.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26- Yep! - So who's the new boss?
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Hello, Felicity. And...hello, Bob.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Henry Smart?!
0:00:31 > 0:00:33So who is the new boss?
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Oh, come on! Really?
0:00:35 > 0:00:36No, seriously, who is the new boss?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Hello. I'm the fragrant Felicity Bond...
0:00:57 > 0:01:01..and I'm Dr Bob Roberts, and you're watching DNN.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Doctor" Bob Roberts?
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Not now, Nurse - it's time for the headlines.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Countryfile stars go on strike, but their demands are unclear.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11What do you want?
0:01:11 > 0:01:12SHEEP BAA
0:01:15 > 0:01:16When do you want it?
0:01:16 > 0:01:18SHEEP BAA
0:01:18 > 0:01:23Diversity reveal a dramatic change in style after a holiday in Dublin.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26MAN HUMS IRISH-STYLE MUSIC
0:01:28 > 0:01:32And Nana's false teeth turn up at a local farm.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Smile!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38And in other news...
0:01:38 > 0:01:40What are you doing?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Listening to the sound of the sea.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43You are not a doctor, Bob.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Yes, I am.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Look, I've got a certificate to prove it, and whatever this is...
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- It's a stethoscope. - Argh! You're a stethoscope.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54The University of Internetshire?
0:01:54 > 0:01:58You realise this doesn't mean you can practise medicine.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01You don't need practice when you're as good as me, Flicky.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Pop yourself on the couch and I'll be with you in the shake of a...
0:02:04 > 0:02:06What is that? Sort of a hoof?!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- Bob Roberts - the world's only living brain donor.- Ha-ha-ha!
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Now, it's time to investigate Swindling Britain.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Yes, over four e-mails have flooded in asking
0:02:17 > 0:02:21The People's Champion, Phil Tyme, to solve your consumer problems.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Yes, Phil Tyme - a man who'd lose his own feet
0:02:24 > 0:02:26if they weren't attached to his body.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31Ha-ha! Even I wouldn't do that, and I'm medically speaking "an idiot".
0:02:31 > 0:02:34My feet are right where I left them, right where I...
0:02:34 > 0:02:36What are you up to this week, Phil?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Ah. Found them! They were hiding in my shoes!
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Phil?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Hello, Felicity. You've probably wondering
0:02:44 > 0:02:47why I'm dressed as a postbox.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Is your traffic-light costume in the wash?
0:02:49 > 0:02:50Eh? No.
0:02:50 > 0:02:55It's because this week I'm being the People's Champion for Valerie here.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Don't be shy. It's only the telly.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59SHE GASPS
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Steady on! You're scaring Terry!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Oh, sorry! Sorry!
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Keep your distance, Terry.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Just zoom in and out.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Now, Valerie wrote to tell me of the traffic warden
0:03:10 > 0:03:14round these parts who likes to give out fines to people,
0:03:14 > 0:03:18even when they've got a valid ticket. Tell us about it.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20He likes to give out fines to people,
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- even when they've got a valid ticket.- Anything else?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- He's a traffic warden. - Blood out of a stone, this one.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Now, Terry has parked the van in that spot there
0:03:31 > 0:03:35for an hour with a valid ticket.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38When that traffic warden comes along and tries to fine us,
0:03:38 > 0:03:42I'm going to jump out and give him a right telling off!
0:03:42 > 0:03:46So join us later for this amazing sting, live on DNN.
0:03:47 > 0:03:53- T'other way, Valerie.- Sorry!- Daft as a brush. I'll see you in a bit.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Thanks, Phil.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Join us later to see
0:03:56 > 0:03:59if Phil Tyme can catch this no-good traffic warden.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02I wouldn't hold your breath. What are you doing?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Holding my breath! You're not the boss of me.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Now, let's go over to the man who takes the measure of the nation -
0:04:14 > 0:04:16it's Jahmene Mann.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18What have you got for us today, Jahmene?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Thanks, Felicity - well, here's a clue...
0:04:21 > 0:04:24What are you doing to that invisible goose?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27No, I'm not - it's air guitar.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Cool. I play the water trumpet. We should start a band.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Sure thing, Gramps.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35So, you may not be able to see the instruments,
0:04:35 > 0:04:39but the art of Air Guitar is becoming more and more visible.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42There are even Air Guitar World Championships.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45But what raw talent is out there amongst the Great British public,
0:04:45 > 0:04:48just waiting for their moment in the invisible spotlight?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Let's Meet The Street.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Yes, I have plugged in my pretend amp, tuned up my nonexistent
0:04:55 > 0:04:58strings and I am ready to soak up the imaginary applause.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01APPLAUSE
0:05:01 > 0:05:05So join me as I try and find Britain's best air guitarists.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Let's rock.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11MUSIC: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Well, there is no doubt that we Brits
0:05:37 > 0:05:40are in tune with our inner rock star.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42But if there's one thing that I've learned today,
0:05:42 > 0:05:46it's that some people take their air rock incredibly seriously.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Hit it!
0:05:48 > 0:05:51MUSIC: "Smoke On The Water" by Deep Purple
0:06:04 > 0:06:08- What are you doing?- Rock'n'roll! - That's my most expensive air guitar.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13You've cost me an imaginary fortune. Come here, you! Come here!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15I'll buy you another one! Man down!
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Time now for entertainment news - so let's go over
0:06:23 > 0:06:27to the relentlessly positive movie megamind that is Kelly Fornia.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Thanks, Bobster! Hi, Flickster! - Hello, Kelly.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Oh-my-wow. I ultraheart your accent.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35It's so cool. Seriously best voice ever.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37I wish I could do an accent as cool as yours
0:06:37 > 0:06:39then I could buy squirty cheese
0:06:39 > 0:06:43and go to the prom with Taylor cos he's such a dreamboat
0:06:43 > 0:06:46and I don't believe the rumours and say ALUMINUM.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48ALUMINUM. ALUMINUM.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- KELLY!- Hi!- Showbiz news.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Gotcha! OK. Here's all the goss!
0:06:53 > 0:06:57A new trailer has been released for "Honey, I shrank the newsreader!"
0:06:57 > 0:06:59The panel said it welcomed the apology
0:06:59 > 0:07:03but said some of the financial costs could have been avoided.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Coronation Street's Dev enters a small cup lifting competition.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- Now?- Yes.- Oh...
0:07:10 > 0:07:13And on Wizards Versus Aliens, the operation to turn
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Tom Clark into TV chef Gordon Ramsay is a huge success.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Brilliant!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Now, music videos - we've all seen loads of them,
0:07:30 > 0:07:34and they're all amazing, but what makes a great music video?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Sparrows.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Close, but not in a million years, Bobster. Take a look!
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Oh, my! Wow! I am- so- excited,
0:07:43 > 0:07:46because this is my super-awesome step-by-step guide
0:07:46 > 0:07:48to making your very own music video.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Phones out...
0:07:50 > 0:07:56let's make some music movie mega-magic. Here we go-o-o!
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Step one, awesome music videos always start in black-and-white.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- It's totally the law. - DANCE MUSIC
0:08:02 > 0:08:04A-ma-zing!
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Step two, walk along the street looking cool,
0:08:08 > 0:08:11but like you're super-lost, but you don't care.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14MUSIC: "I Wanna Go" by Nikki Flores
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Step three, dance break.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Step four, get a sports car.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Oi, get away from my car!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Step five, another dance break!
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Six, bring out someone super-cute.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Blimey! Super cute!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Did you hear that, Mum?- And another.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51I'm definitely not happy about this.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- One more.- Let's make a video.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- Uh, this couldn't get any more embarrassing.- Yes, it could.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Step seven, group dance break!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03MUSIC CONTINUES
0:09:13 > 0:09:18So, that's how to make a music video that's fantastically astonishing.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Or, as I've just decided to call it, fan-stonishing!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Ooh! I love making videos about making videos!
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Hey, maybe I should make a video about them,
0:09:26 > 0:09:30and then I can make a video about videos about making videos...
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I should totally direct music videos.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34And then I could segue into directing films.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37That would be awesome! Hey, that sounded American -
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- AMERICAN ACCENT:- Awesome! - Thanks, Kelly.- Awesome! Awesome!
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- HE BLOWS SHARPLY - Oww!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I think we have mosquitoes, but I didn't hear a high-pitched whine.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Well, I did when I was standing by Gary when he was making a call...
0:09:50 > 0:09:51THUD!
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- BOB LAUGHS - Good shot!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Guaranteed to put you to sleep in three seconds.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58I call it the Henry Smart Dart.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01And we'll have more showbiz news next week.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03No, no! Now... No, you wouldn't dare...
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- WHOOSH! Oh.- Isn't that right, Bob?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Oh, it's not affected me... HE SNORES
0:10:08 > 0:10:10It's time for us to go to a break.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12We'll be back in a moment after these messages.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15BOB CONTINUES SNORING
0:10:17 > 0:10:18And we're on a break.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21OK, everyone, can I have a word, please?
0:10:21 > 0:10:25I've got one for you, Henry. How about "sluice"?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27As your new boss, I'd just like to say...
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- that was a shambles!- Thank you!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32You know, I may have misjudged you, Henry.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34- Felicity?- Yes, Henry?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36You're too smiley. We're not selling toothpaste.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Jahmene, what's the matter with you?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40I've injured my wrist - I played too much air guitar.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- Well, see a doctor. - Ah-ha-ha!- Not Bob.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- Come here. - JAHMENE WINCES
0:10:44 > 0:10:47- Henry, can I ask, are you sacking me?- Why would I sack you, Gary?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Well, if you do not know, I'm not going to tell you.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Don't worry, Henry. At least you know you have one serious,
0:10:53 > 0:10:54sensible journalist on the team.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56I've seen your report for this week.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Right, that outfit was not my idea...
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- OK, everyone, back on in ten! - As the new chief of DNN,
0:11:01 > 0:11:04I need you all to remember that this is supposed to be a slick,
0:11:04 > 0:11:05polished news programme.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07BOB SPLUTTERS A what?
0:11:07 > 0:11:11You have seen the show before, right?
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Welcome back.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Coming up in part two, sport news with Gary Ogden.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20We'll have the weather with Davina Wave.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24And Phil Tyme will be ambushing an overzealous traffic warden.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- But first...- I have an important medical announcement!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30There's a disturbing food trend sweeping the country,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33and, as a doctor, I say it's got to stop.
0:11:33 > 0:11:38Yes, I'm talking about the sick habit of eating these -
0:11:38 > 0:11:40mouse brains!
0:11:40 > 0:11:42That's a walnut, Bob.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Ah, I may have made a scene in a health food shop...
0:11:45 > 0:11:49As I was saying, it's time for our special investigation.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51So let's cross to the reporter so tough
0:11:51 > 0:11:55her teddy bear's a grizzly. It's Nellie Osmond.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Thank you, Robert. Despite economic hard times,
0:11:58 > 0:12:02recent figures reveal that we're spending more than ever on our pets,
0:12:02 > 0:12:05with reports of people splashing out thousand of pounds on parties
0:12:05 > 0:12:09for their dogs. I mean, they're animals, for goodness' sake!
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Here's my unbiased report into this farce.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17This is Gustav, a party planner from Party Pet-tacular,
0:12:17 > 0:12:20the pet pooch party planning professionals...in Putney.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Hello, Miss Osmond.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26Here at Party Pet-tacular, we pride ourselves on being top dog,
0:12:26 > 0:12:27if you'll excuse the pun.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29I won't, but moving on.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31What services do you actually provide?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Basically whatever the dog wants,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35and today we are having the most enormous birthday party
0:12:35 > 0:12:38for one of our most demanding clients.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- PHONE RINGS - Oh, excuse me. Speak.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44What do you mean, the postman's cancelled?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Well, what's everyone supposed to bark at?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49No, don't worry, I'll find someone myself. Thank you(!)
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Unbelievable.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Hmm, Miss Osmond...
0:12:54 > 0:12:55Er, no.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58- # Who let the dogs out? - Who, who, who, who...? #
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Well, I feel ridiculous,
0:12:59 > 0:13:02but, Linda, you're spending a frankly ludicrous amount of money
0:13:02 > 0:13:04on a birthday party for your dog.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Don't you think we're overindulging our pets?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Nothing but the best for my Tinkles!
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Ugh! This not the top-of-the-range sound system I told you to get!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Sorry, poppet. I'm sorry.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19Oh, my dog! Don't even talk to me right now.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- Er, excuse me, Mr...Tinkles. - Postman?!
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- TINKLES BARKS - Get off! I'm not a real postman!
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, for goodness' sake, I'm trying to do a job of work here!
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Is this telly? - Well, after a fashion.- Hello!
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Now, Tinkles, do you think you deserve a huge party like this?
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Duh! My BFF, Sniffy, for his birthday,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41he got a life-size squeaky castle.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43I totally deserve a better party.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Here's your present, poppet!
0:13:45 > 0:13:46TINKLES SCOFFS
0:13:46 > 0:13:49A smartphone? What am I, five?!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51I wanted a car!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Oh, get a grip! You're a dog! You can't drive!
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Right, I've had enough of this. Tinkles, bad dog! In your bed!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59TINKLES WHIMPERS
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Now, stay! So, I think I've proven beyond all doubt that,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05when we spoil our pets, we really do unleash a beast.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Excuse me, where did you want the ice sculptures?
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Ugh. You, fetch. - GUSTAV BARKS
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Back to you, Robert.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Fascinating stuff. Thanks, Nellie.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Robert, don't talk with your mouth full.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- Did you see...?!- See what?
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Thanks, Nellie. But would you mind not eating in the studio?
0:14:27 > 0:14:28It's a bit unprofessional.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32How dare...? It's clearly not mine. As you know, I'm a strict...
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- Everything?- Well, yes, but I was going to say vegan.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36You see? I knew she was an alien!
0:14:42 > 0:14:47Now over to the UK's most nervous travel reporter, Beatrice Rhodes.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Erm, Bea, are you there?
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Yep, I'm here, yep.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53SHE SCREAMS
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Sorry, I didn't expect to actually see you!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Er, it's a live link-up, Bea.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Oh, yes! You're right. Of course, yes.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02BREATHES DEEPLY
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I am fine.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Right, I'm here on the M121212
0:15:10 > 0:15:13and if we take a look at the traffic we find... Aah!
0:15:13 > 0:15:15What is it, Bea?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Felicity, it's an absolute nightmare.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20There are literally hundreds of metal boxes on wheels
0:15:20 > 0:15:22and they are all coming this way!
0:15:22 > 0:15:26They're just cars, Bea! You must have seen a car before?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Yes, well, they are a lot scarier when you see them in the wild!
0:15:29 > 0:15:31I don't like it!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35SHE SINGS
0:15:35 > 0:15:38So, er, what would your...
0:15:38 > 0:15:41SINGING CONTINUES
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Carry on, please!
0:15:43 > 0:15:47OK, so, er, what would your travel advice be for the DNN viewers?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49My advice would be, don't do it!
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Stay inside, lock your doors and read a nice book.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56Because outside, it is literally carmageddon!
0:15:56 > 0:15:58CAR BEEPS ITS HORN
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Everybody down!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Beatrice Rhodes, there.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05And she'll be back with more travel news next time.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Ah! That's where I left my pizza.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Time now to go to the man whose contact book is emptier than
0:16:16 > 0:16:19a jar of space - it's Gary Ogden.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Thanks, Bob.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24Welcome to the DNN Sports Locker, I'm Gorgeous Gary Ogden.
0:16:24 > 0:16:29These are my headlines and these are the sports...headlines!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31The BBC's new sailing commentator receives
0:16:31 > 0:16:33complaints about his diction.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra!
0:16:39 > 0:16:43Premier League teams have been accused of cutting costs
0:16:43 > 0:16:44on cheerleaders.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47DANCE MUSIC
0:16:48 > 0:16:52And an ice hockey champion is called in to clean up after giant rabbit.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I didn't know you were a morris dancer, Gary.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00I'm not.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Now, it was Winston Churchill who said "Open the door,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07"Get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur."
0:17:07 > 0:17:10And the most important of those things is of course,
0:17:10 > 0:17:13"Get on the floor" and that's exactly what I did
0:17:13 > 0:17:15when I went to find out how to do gymnastics,
0:17:15 > 0:17:18even if someone's pinched all of your equipment.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Over to you, Gary.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Thanks, Gary!
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Now, of all the places to do gymnastics - the beach,
0:17:24 > 0:17:27the airing cupboard, the supermarket, even Spain -
0:17:27 > 0:17:30my favourite is definitely the floor.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Look at her go!
0:17:33 > 0:17:38- I'm here with top gymnastics coach Hannah Stand.- Hello.- My pleasure.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Correct me if I'm wrong here, isn't floor gymnastics
0:17:41 > 0:17:43a little bit of tumbling and a little bit of boogie?
0:17:43 > 0:17:47No, you need exceptional strength, flexibility, balance...
0:17:47 > 0:17:51- Check, check, check.- And musicality. - And that's the full set.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54So, sounds like I'll be a natural. I've got my outfit.
0:17:55 > 0:18:00- I don't know what to say.- Perfect. Let's get on the floor.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03MUSIC: Rockafeller Skank by Fatboy Slim
0:18:23 > 0:18:26No, you're supposed to tumble, Gary, like this.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Aah!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Not bad. But check this out.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37That's rhythmic gymnastics, Gary.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Where did you get that from?
0:18:42 > 0:18:44No, no footballs!
0:18:44 > 0:18:46That's the robot.
0:18:49 > 0:18:50RIP!
0:18:52 > 0:18:56Well, she'll be off to work those moves into a new routine, no doubt.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01Well, another day, another sport conquered. I can't feel my legs.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Back to you, Gary.
0:19:06 > 0:19:07Thanks, Gary!
0:19:07 > 0:19:09And that's it for this week's sport.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Hang on. So why are you dressed up for morris dancing, Gary?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15This? This is jogging gear, mate.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18It's white so I'm easily seen, the bells scare away cats
0:19:18 > 0:19:21and the handkerchief is for flagging down runaway trains.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Right - I'm going for a jog!
0:19:23 > 0:19:24BELLS JINGLE
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- Gary Ogden there. - Say what you like, Flicky...
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- I like the days when you're off sick.- Ooh, me too!
0:19:36 > 0:19:38So we should head back to Phil Tyme and find out whether
0:19:38 > 0:19:42he's managed to spring the trap on that overkeen traffic warden.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- Phil, how's it going? - If I'm brutally honest, Felicity,
0:19:46 > 0:19:50it's not been easy. People kept trying to feed me letters.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Paper cuts like nobody's biz,
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- and still no sign of this flaming traffic warden.- He's coming!
0:19:55 > 0:19:58All right, action stations, get a shift on!
0:20:01 > 0:20:02HE LAUGHS
0:20:02 > 0:20:07Oh, hey, he's doing it and all. Here goes!
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Now then!
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Ha-ha, the people's champion, Phil Tyme from DNN.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16And I demand to know why you think it's all right to give out
0:20:16 > 0:20:18parking tickets for no reason whatsoever.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22- Well, I can explain this. It's...- A-ha!
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Officer, thank goodness you are here.
0:20:25 > 0:20:31- You, Sonny Jim, bang to rights. Officer...- BOTH: Arrest this man!
0:20:31 > 0:20:36- What? Why should she arrest me? - Well, for impersonating a postbox.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38That's not a thing, is it?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Eating Her Majesty's mail, very serious offence.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45It's not the Queen's mail, it's just a couple of birthday cards
0:20:45 > 0:20:49and some bumf about free broadband. That guy, that's who you want.
0:20:49 > 0:20:54He's giving out dodgy tickets. Oh, cheese and crackers!
0:20:54 > 0:20:59This is Phil Tyme for DNN. Do the thing with your hand.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04T'other way you gormless... Take them back, crikey, take them back!
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- Now it's time for my favourite part of the show.- The end?
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Nope, it's not the end.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Gary - what are you doing?
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Laps.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Yes - it's time for weather with Davina Wave,
0:21:18 > 0:21:20and my special friend, Map!
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Thanks, Bob!
0:21:21 > 0:21:23But before I do the weather, can I just say
0:21:23 > 0:21:26that I've been a bit put out this week.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Why's that, Davina?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Well, Flicky, I've been rooting around on that "internet"
0:21:31 > 0:21:37and apparently, not every record in the world is held by a Geordie.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Disgraceful.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Aye. And I'm not having it.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42So to restore the natural order of things,
0:21:42 > 0:21:46I'll be launching "Davina Wave's Record-Breaking Weather"
0:21:46 > 0:21:49where I try to set a new world record for the people
0:21:49 > 0:21:54of Newcastle, while telling the rest of yous if it's raining or not.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57And hello, Mappy!
0:21:57 > 0:22:01He waved at me, Felicity, did you see? He waved!
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Isn't he magnificent?
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Calm down, Bob. He's just a weather map.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- "Gone to start a fan club. - Back in five minutes"
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Anyway, stopwatch at the ready, Flicky,
0:22:14 > 0:22:18cos today I'm trying to set the record for the most custard pies
0:22:18 > 0:22:22thrown in my face during a 30-second weather report!
0:22:22 > 0:22:27Jahmene and Kelly are on pie-pushing duties. It's gonna be epic.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31In 3, 2, 1 - start splattin'!
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Right, let's kick off with "That London"
0:22:36 > 0:22:39where it's going to be wetter than a fish's excuse.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42In Welshy Cardiff, it'll also be wet, but the rain'll be
0:22:42 > 0:22:45weaker than Jahmene and Kelly's throwing arms - come on, yous two.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Step it up a gear pie-wise,
0:22:47 > 0:22:48cos it's time for the weather
0:22:48 > 0:22:50in Newcastle!
0:22:53 > 0:22:55The Promised Land,
0:22:55 > 0:22:57where the tide goes out slower
0:22:57 > 0:22:59cos it just doesn't want to leave.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Wahey, it's a Bobby dazzler!
0:23:01 > 0:23:03- And time's up!- How did I do?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05You got 33 pies in the face!
0:23:05 > 0:23:08It's a new record!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Come here. Howay, howay.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Howay!
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Davina Wave, bringing you the weather
0:23:15 > 0:23:17and more pie than a geometry class.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- Right, I'm going in!- What are you doing? You can't operate on Gary!
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Relax, I gave him Anastasia.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Anaesthesia!
0:23:26 > 0:23:31Felicity, don't sneeze near the patient. Ah, here it is!
0:23:31 > 0:23:34That isn't what a human heart really looks like, Bob.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37I should know, Felicity. I've broken a few.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39SMASH! Exhibit A.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41And that's all we've got time for.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44I've been the unflappable Felicity Bond.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46And I've...just found a trumpet.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Say goodbye, Bob!
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Goodbye, Bob! You have a terrible diet.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55It's an... He's alive!
0:23:55 > 0:23:57And he has an extra set of legs!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01These hands, they are a miracle!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04I must use my gift...wisely.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Yes, Henry Smart here. Can I have my old job back?
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Please!