Episode 10

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0:00:01 > 0:00:04Thanks, Steve. I hate opening these.

0:00:04 > 0:00:05So depressing.

0:00:05 > 0:00:07Yeah. Fanmail, eh?

0:00:07 > 0:00:10- No, it's a payslip!- Oh.

0:00:10 > 0:00:11You get fanmail?

0:00:11 > 0:00:12You get paid?

0:00:12 > 0:00:15Well, this isn't going to keep me in sports bras.

0:00:15 > 0:00:19You know Huw Edwards released his own range of microwave meals.

0:00:19 > 0:00:22Fiona Bruce has got a lipstick... You know what I'm thinking?

0:00:22 > 0:00:25About how great it would be if My Little Ponies existed in real life?

0:00:25 > 0:00:27- No!- Then no, we're not on the same wavelength.

0:00:27 > 0:00:31I'm thinking we'd make millions by releasing our own DNN merchandise!

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Lipstick's not my area, but blusher maybe...

0:00:34 > 0:00:37No, merchandise based on us!

0:00:37 > 0:00:40Oh, right! Yep, I knew that. Let's do it.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Though, I don't mind wearing the lipstick...

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Hello, welcome to DNN, I'm the unruffled Felicity Bond.

0:01:01 > 0:01:02And I'm Bob Roberts.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05This is Kevin the karaoke banana.

0:01:05 > 0:01:06# No, no, not I

0:01:06 > 0:01:08# I will survive... #

0:01:08 > 0:01:09And these are today's headlines:

0:01:09 > 0:01:13A cat remembers she's not unplugged her hair-straighteners.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22New footage reveals the world's first reverse lumberjack.

0:01:26 > 0:01:30And, Dumbo's piano teacher suspects he's not done his practice.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33TUNELESS PIANO PLAYING

0:01:33 > 0:01:37But our top story today is the shocking news that scientists

0:01:37 > 0:01:40have discovered everyone on the planet will lose their hair

0:01:40 > 0:01:42in exactly seven days' time!

0:01:42 > 0:01:43What?!

0:01:43 > 0:01:48They're advising people to panic, act fast and to stock up on wigs.

0:01:48 > 0:01:53Luckily, the 80% genuine Bob Roberts wig of hair

0:01:53 > 0:01:55is available from this very day.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56In other, less shocking news...

0:01:56 > 0:01:59Bob! You've completely made up that story

0:01:59 > 0:02:02to try and scare our viewers into buying your wigs!

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Henry, how dare you insult my integrity as a journalist?!

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Buy one get one free.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Well, from one harebrained scheme to another,

0:02:09 > 0:02:12it's Phil Tyme, with today's consumer sting.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Where are you this week, Phil?

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Well, Felicity, let's just say, I'm wasting my time here,

0:02:17 > 0:02:19and that's the tooth!

0:02:20 > 0:02:22I'm at a dentist. Come on, keep up!

0:02:22 > 0:02:25So, what's the story? Fillings going missing?

0:02:25 > 0:02:27False teeth attacking people?

0:02:27 > 0:02:28I wish, Felicity.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31This week, I'm investigating a dentist who doesn't give out

0:02:31 > 0:02:33stickers to her patients.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Oh, that's just...

0:02:35 > 0:02:36Boring, Felicity, proper boring.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39We've had nothing on the e-mails this week.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42It's either this or one from Terry's fiancee, Tessa,

0:02:42 > 0:02:45complaining about how he never cuts his toenails.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Fiancee? Terry's getting married?

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Congratulations, Terry!

0:02:50 > 0:02:52All right, all right. Back to business.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56Scott, tell us about how your dentist doesn't give out pogs.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Stickers, Phil. She doesn't give out stickers.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Whatever. And that cheeses you off, does it?

0:03:01 > 0:03:06Yes! I love stickers. I've got a collection of over 7,000 in my room.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Some are Star Wars stickers, some are football stickers,

0:03:08 > 0:03:11some are stickers I've made with a copy of the Beano

0:03:11 > 0:03:12and double-sided sticky tape.

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Anyway, I was one off completing my dentist sticker collection

0:03:16 > 0:03:19when this dentist tells me that I'm too old for stickers!

0:03:19 > 0:03:21Well, you are too old for stickers.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Focus, Terry!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26You're a fully grown man, Scott!

0:03:26 > 0:03:29I resent your tone. Anyone of any age can enjoy stickers.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31Hey, it's like we say at Sticker Club.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34There's nothing sicker than a stickler for stickers.

0:03:34 > 0:03:35Oh, give me strength!

0:03:35 > 0:03:38Well, there you have it. Stay tuned because later I'll be confronting

0:03:38 > 0:03:42this dentist about...stickers. Oh, for Pete's sake!

0:03:42 > 0:03:44It's coming up later, live!

0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Oh, do DNN do stickers? - No, we do not.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49We'll see you in a bit. Get a grip!

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Thanks, Phil. We'll be back to get an update

0:03:51 > 0:03:53on your fight for sticker justice later.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56Actually, Phil isn't quite right you know, Felicity.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58You can say that again, Bob.

0:03:58 > 0:03:59No, I mean about the DNN stickers.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02He obviously hasn't heard about the official

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Bob Roberts sticker collection.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08Yes, Felicity. Available now via my official website.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11There are just 1,387 stickers to collect.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13Only £1 a pack.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Bob! This is not news. Move on!

0:04:15 > 0:04:18Actually, Henry, I've got doubles of Bob Mechanic,

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Bob Aldrin and Captain Bob-beard.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22If that's not news I don't know what is.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24Would you care to do any swaps?

0:04:24 > 0:04:27I would, yes. You for a half eaten potato.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Oh, I didn't know you cared!

0:04:29 > 0:04:30Oh, that's so nice.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Now, who gets the half-eaten potato?

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Time now to get all the latest from Planet Sport.

0:04:41 > 0:04:45Yes, so let's cross to Gary Ogden. You look smart, Gary.

0:04:45 > 0:04:46Thanks, Bob.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49Yes, this is the sports locker. More on this kit later.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51These are the sports headlines:

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Road workers take on the high jump with rubber drills.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01A boy takes the lead at the soap on a rope juggling championships.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08And, Rex falls short at the doggy long jump contest.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Now, obviously everyone's looking forward to the World Cup Final,

0:05:17 > 0:05:20but once that's over, what will we have to fill the sporting gap?

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Well, my top story this week is all about a new sport in town.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25It's the fastest growing game in this studio,

0:05:25 > 0:05:29and the most exciting thing is, I invented it!

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Felicity, if you'd care to pop over and help me demonstrate.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34- All right, Gary. - I've called it Ogball.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37It's a cross between snooker, bowling, and t'ai chi,

0:05:37 > 0:05:40so we can sell it to the Far East, where the money is.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44OK, strike a pose, Felicity, you're up first.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Oh, yes, that is a strong opening position you've gone for there,

0:05:46 > 0:05:48the Rampant Mackerel.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50White to serve first.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53KLAXON

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Ah, now you're offside there.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57What? How?!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59And also...

0:05:59 > 0:06:01checkmate. Advantage Gary.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Which means we move straight to the dry swimming round,

0:06:03 > 0:06:06with this futuristic piece of equipment.

0:06:06 > 0:06:07That's an ironing board!

0:06:07 > 0:06:10No, it's the Ogball Dry Swimming Board 2000.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14It's your mum's ironing board. She's even left her undies on it!

0:06:14 > 0:06:16As you can see, it's perfect for anyone who wants to swim

0:06:16 > 0:06:19but doesn't want the hassle of getting wet. Go!

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Watch you don't cross lines there, Felicity!

0:06:24 > 0:06:25What? Oh for...

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Careful of the floating water monkey!

0:06:27 > 0:06:29This is the most pointless...

0:06:29 > 0:06:30KLAXON

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Felicity, you're offside again, I'm afraid,

0:06:33 > 0:06:35so that is game, set, match, Ogden!

0:06:35 > 0:06:36Yes!

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Well, Felicity. Well played, unlucky.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Gary, this is just some nonsensical scheme

0:06:42 > 0:06:43to sell Ogball merchandise.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Not at all, Felicity,

0:06:45 > 0:06:49but Ogball sets are available at the bargain price of £89.64.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50Bargain!

0:06:50 > 0:06:52But, just to explain where you went wrong,

0:06:52 > 0:06:55there are over 700 ways you can be offside in Ogball,

0:06:55 > 0:06:57all of which are in this Rule Book.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59You'll just have to take my word for it.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01I was not offside, Gary! Give me the book.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03Yes, you were! No! No, no, no!

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Sian! Sian!

0:07:05 > 0:07:08THEY CONTINUE ARGUING

0:07:08 > 0:07:10Mind my glasses! Oh!

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Now was I offside, Gary?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15It appears you were actually onside, Felicity.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18So, let's call it a draw. Anyway, that's Ogball.

0:07:18 > 0:07:19Back to you, Bob.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22I'm no expert... Well, I am an expert,

0:07:22 > 0:07:24but I think you might need to simplify the rules there.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26Anyway, thank you, Gary.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28My pleasure!

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Time to cross to the silver-tongued Jahmene Mann,

0:07:33 > 0:07:35who I believe is all about the big screen today!

0:07:35 > 0:07:37That's right, Felicity.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Tell me, what is your best film character impression?

0:07:39 > 0:07:43Here's a clue. Are you ready, kids?

0:07:43 > 0:07:45I don't know, is it a minion from Despicable Me?

0:07:45 > 0:07:48No, Jahmene, of course not!

0:07:48 > 0:07:49Is it Winnie The Pooh?

0:07:49 > 0:07:53- No!- We're kidding, Bob. We know it's Spongebob Squarepants.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55It isn't! It's Holly Willoughby.

0:07:55 > 0:07:56But she's not a movie...

0:07:56 > 0:07:59Forget it. Anyway, I reckoned you lot...

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Did you really not get it? Is it the hair?

0:08:02 > 0:08:05I reckoned you lot out there could make some mean movie magic.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08So, let's meet the street!

0:08:09 > 0:08:12When it comes to exclusive interviews with Hollywood A-listers,

0:08:12 > 0:08:15you only need to watch one show.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18No, sorry, you only need to watch The One Show.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21Most big actors go on there to shout about their films.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24But today on DNN, we are giving them a run for their money

0:08:24 > 0:08:28because I'm on the lookout for Britain's best movie stars.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Lights, camera, action!

0:08:32 > 0:08:34The force is strong!

0:08:34 > 0:08:36Superman.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37Spider-Man.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43This sign will destruct in five seconds.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47TOGETHER: Live long and prosper.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Elasti-girl!

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Ahhh! It's King Kong!

0:08:55 > 0:08:57No, it's just me, Jahmene Mann!

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Hello, mate, can you do any film impressions?

0:09:01 > 0:09:03- You what? - You know, like voices from movies?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05I'll do one for you.

0:09:05 > 0:09:09Oh, Kermit, I can't believe I'm falling in love with a frog!

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Miss Piggy.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14- I beg your pardon?- Miss Piggy.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- Are you insulting my wife? - No, you know, the Muppets!

0:09:17 > 0:09:19He's having a go at both of us now!

0:09:19 > 0:09:22- We are not Muppets! - Get him, Keith!

0:09:22 > 0:09:24No, no! Hasta la vista, baby!

0:09:24 > 0:09:25Man down, man down!

0:09:31 > 0:09:35Food news now, with the story about how a mum encouraged her son

0:09:35 > 0:09:38to eat more healthily by turning his lunch into a work of art.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42To investigate this growing trend of stimulating school dinners,

0:09:42 > 0:09:45here's "legend in her own lunchtime" Nellie Osmond

0:09:45 > 0:09:47with her special report.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48Thank you, Robert.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Now, if you think making a packed lunch is easy, think again.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53You put in chocolate vermicelli, are you for real?

0:09:53 > 0:09:56Beats your bubble infused rat any day!

0:09:56 > 0:10:00Because, for parents like Calista and Lorraine,

0:10:00 > 0:10:03creating an elaborate lunchtime treat has become all out war.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05What it is, yeah, she started giving it all that

0:10:05 > 0:10:08with her locked sealed containers, yeah,

0:10:08 > 0:10:10making out she's queen of the sandwiches,

0:10:10 > 0:10:12so I stepped it up, boom!

0:10:12 > 0:10:13With a brown paper bag?

0:10:13 > 0:10:16That is a New York deli experience. Open it!

0:10:18 > 0:10:20'Hey, get out of this street, buddy!'

0:10:20 > 0:10:22See? Ain't nobody gonna beat that!

0:10:22 > 0:10:24I could beat that.

0:10:24 > 0:10:28Mrs Reporter lady, you are on. Home time, school gates, bring it.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34With my challenge accepted, Kenneth Ledge from training company

0:10:34 > 0:10:37Lunch Box Boot Camp, volunteered to get me up to speed.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40OK, Nellie! Say your knife was broken, what do you do?

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Er... Get another knife?

0:10:42 > 0:10:46No! You improvise with what you've got. Go! Go! Go!

0:10:46 > 0:10:49Disgusting. I'm trying to do a job of work here.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Go! Go! Go!

0:10:54 > 0:10:57It wasn't easy, but after a gruelling 30-minute programme,

0:10:57 > 0:10:59I was finally ready.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06OK, Calista.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Let's do this.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Three, two, one, draw.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16One vegetable portrait of Beyonce.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19One London Eye cookie with chocolate pods.

0:11:19 > 0:11:23And, a Scotch egg that looks like Ed Sheeran. Boom!

0:11:23 > 0:11:26One 24-carat golden delicious.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30One highly decorated juice box with real diamonds.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32And one smart sandwich.

0:11:32 > 0:11:33That works.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35What do you have two say to that, Calista?

0:11:35 > 0:11:39Ha-ha! You lose! You get in my face again,

0:11:39 > 0:11:41you'll be wearing them super fruity yoghurts!

0:11:43 > 0:11:47So, as you can see, this petty competitiveness can get out of hand.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50But the fact is, I won, and I have the footage to prove it.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53End of.

0:11:53 > 0:11:54Back to you, Robert.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58Thanks, Nellie. I ate a packed lunch today you know, Felicity.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59Really, Bob?

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Well, I say packed lunch, I mean the spaghetti in my pocket.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04OK...

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Time for us to take a break now, but don't go anywhere!

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Yes, we'll be back after these brief,

0:12:09 > 0:12:10but very important, messages.

0:12:10 > 0:12:15The spaghetti's gone now and Bob's a little sad.

0:12:15 > 0:12:16And we're clear.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18OK, gather round, everyone, I'd like a word, please.

0:12:18 > 0:12:23Yep-er-roony, Henster. How about...madvertising?

0:12:23 > 0:12:24Oooh, new word.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27Right. Now, all this plugging has to stop.

0:12:27 > 0:12:28Er, think it through, Henry!

0:12:28 > 0:12:31If we don't plug things in, we won't have electricity

0:12:31 > 0:12:34for the lights or these...filmy box monsters.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Hey, there's Phil on the TV.

0:12:36 > 0:12:41Smells! You hate them, I hate them, but we all make them.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44Get rid of those nasty whiffs with this.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46The DNN Cheese and Crackers Air Freshener.

0:12:46 > 0:12:51It's guaranteed to shift any strong smelling odours, air biscuits,

0:12:51 > 0:12:53or even the stench of Terry's scotch eggs.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55And they proper stink!

0:12:55 > 0:12:57So don't delay, go Cheese and Crackers today.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00Now with dangly ones for the van.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02Right! That is enough.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Can we please just carry on with the programme,

0:13:04 > 0:13:07and no more promoting your unofficial DNN merchandise!

0:13:07 > 0:13:10- I'm confiscating everything. - Back on in ten.

0:13:10 > 0:13:15Right, we all heard Henry. No more advertising unofficial merchandise.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19- He took your wig!- Yeah, well, at least it's gone to a needy home.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Hello, and welcome back to DNN.

0:13:24 > 0:13:28Now, it's time to set the official Beatrice Rhodes sat nav

0:13:28 > 0:13:29for a travel update.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32At the next sign of traffic, turn into a nervous wreck.

0:13:32 > 0:13:36- Hello, Bea?- Oh, hang on, Bea. Is that a crocodile behind you?

0:13:36 > 0:13:38What?! Aaaargh!

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Stop it, Bob. There's nothing there, Bea.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46Actually, it looks like there isn't much traffic there either.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Here on the B54321, major roadworks are in place,

0:13:49 > 0:13:51which, I'm happy to say,

0:13:51 > 0:13:54have brought the traffic to a lovely, peaceful standstill.

0:13:54 > 0:13:55Hear that, Bob?

0:13:55 > 0:13:58No... My ears!

0:13:58 > 0:13:59Who's stolen my ears?!

0:13:59 > 0:14:02- I think Bea's point is that there is no noise.- Ah!

0:14:02 > 0:14:04I did NOT put these traffic cones out myself

0:14:04 > 0:14:07to block the road off and make it more peaceful, Felicity! No way!

0:14:07 > 0:14:10What?! You can't shut the road down like that, Bea!

0:14:10 > 0:14:14- I'm sorry, I can't hear you. - SHE SINGS TO HERSELF

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Bea, you're breaking the law!

0:14:16 > 0:14:19And you're blocking the route to my hair appointment after the show.

0:14:19 > 0:14:20Fine. I'll get rid of them.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23I've got another way I can stop the traffic, anyway.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Haha! What are you going to do? Dress up as a lollipop lady?

0:14:26 > 0:14:28I'm going to dress up as a lollipop lady!

0:14:28 > 0:14:29Clever.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Thanks, Bob. Reporter one, traffic nil!

0:14:31 > 0:14:35Bea, you may be able to keep the traffic at bay,

0:14:35 > 0:14:38but there's one thing you've forgotten. Pedestrians.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41- What? Aaargh!- Can I just...

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Get back! No!- Can I get by?

0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Yeah, just...- No, get back! Aaaargh!

0:14:46 > 0:14:49- Get back, get back! - Bea Rhodes, there.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Well, my ears are certainly working again.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00Reach for the volume button, it's time for the showbiz news.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03Certainly is, Felicity, so let's head over to

0:15:03 > 0:15:06our own prattling pop princess Kelly Fornia for all the latest.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08Hi, Bobster, hi, Flickster!

0:15:08 > 0:15:11This week has been tote-ally amay-zing!

0:15:11 > 0:15:14OK, I went to the launch of a photo exhibition

0:15:14 > 0:15:16called Selfies Of The Stars, right,

0:15:16 > 0:15:19and you're never going to guess what the idea was. Guess, go on!

0:15:19 > 0:15:21- Well, it's...- No, you won't get it!

0:15:21 > 0:15:25It was photos taken by stars... of themselves!

0:15:25 > 0:15:28Selfies are totally the best photos in the world

0:15:28 > 0:15:32because someone takes the picture and someone's in the picture...

0:15:32 > 0:15:35- Kelly...- ..but there's only one person to do both jobs,

0:15:35 > 0:15:38- which is amazing!- Sounds awesome, Kelly, but headline news...?

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Yeah, sorry, Flickster! OK, well, first off, we've got...

0:15:41 > 0:15:44open auditions begin for Quidditch: The Musical.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52The world's first talking trump pops up on Young Dracula.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54I did it!

0:15:54 > 0:15:57IT GIGGLES Hang on. Where are me wigs?

0:15:57 > 0:16:01And excitement as Shrek turns up on Emmerdale!

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Then it'll be Mum and Dad stuff, like you and Ashley.

0:16:04 > 0:16:09But what I'm uber-excited about this week is fashion.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Have you ever wondered where all those super-cool

0:16:11 > 0:16:14film and pop stars get their shamazing outfits from?

0:16:14 > 0:16:18- No!- Really? I think about it all the time.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20So, to find out,

0:16:20 > 0:16:23I went to meet the hottest thing in fashion right now.

0:16:23 > 0:16:24Check it out!

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Hi, Missy!

0:16:27 > 0:16:30Every year, the world's most hem-tastic designers

0:16:30 > 0:16:34come to Germany to show off their latest creations.

0:16:34 > 0:16:39Yes, I'm here at the strut-ily amazing Berlin Fashion Week

0:16:39 > 0:16:44and I am so excited to meet brand-new designer, Vivienne Velcro!

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Hello, darlink.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49Vivienne, you've agreed to give us a sneaky peek at your new collection,

0:16:49 > 0:16:51so tell us all about it.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55- Well, it's rubbish. - Er, no, Vivenne. It's tra-mazing!

0:16:55 > 0:17:00No, I mean, it's rubbish. It's all made from objects I found

0:17:00 > 0:17:02when I was clearing out my husband's shed.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05- That is totally environmentally friendly.- I know!

0:17:05 > 0:17:08So, you vant to buy it? It's £70,000.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10- HONKS HOOTER - Ouch! Mega-bunts!

0:17:10 > 0:17:13Well, this dress is totally sheeking me out right now.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16But let's hear what the critics think.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19Because this is one of the world's greatest fashion gurus,

0:17:19 > 0:17:21it's Valentino Gluck.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24- Valentino,- high-five! Er...no.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26Oh, yeah, you're right. High fives are SO last year.

0:17:26 > 0:17:30Valentino, this dress. Is it the future of fashion?

0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Oh! It's rubbish.- I know, right? How exciting!

0:17:33 > 0:17:35Er, no, no, no, I mean, it's a-terrible.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37It bores Valentino. Ugh!

0:17:37 > 0:17:40- What, you hate it?- Si!

0:17:40 > 0:17:42It makes Valentino sick. Bleurgh!

0:17:42 > 0:17:43It's totally in right now.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46- It is?- Absolutely.

0:17:46 > 0:17:47In that case, I love this dress!

0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Out of my way, news puppet. Vivenne!- Mmm...

0:17:50 > 0:17:52You must call me tomorrow, OK?

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Jennifer Lawrence needs to wear this dress.

0:17:54 > 0:17:59Bellissimo! Oh, my wow! This is a total fashion switcheroo exclusive!

0:17:59 > 0:18:01I'm Kelly Fornia, here with the next big thing,

0:18:01 > 0:18:04and I'm saying back to the studio!

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Oh. My. Wow.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10How cool was that? Fashion is just fantastic, isn't it?

0:18:10 > 0:18:11It's fash-tastic!

0:18:11 > 0:18:14Because clothes are cool and then they're not

0:18:14 > 0:18:17and the ones that weren't cool then are cool now and then they're not...

0:18:17 > 0:18:18- Ahem!- Oh, hi, Bobster.

0:18:18 > 0:18:22Kelly, can I just show you this rather natty fashion item?

0:18:22 > 0:18:25It's the official DNN Bob Roberts snood.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Oh, my wow! I heart snoods!

0:18:27 > 0:18:31When they came out I was totally like, new word alert!

0:18:31 > 0:18:34- Snoooood...snoooood... - That's basically how you wear it.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36It might impede your speech slightly

0:18:36 > 0:18:38but that's the price you pay for fashion.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41Kelly, I think we've found your perfect look.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43SHE MUMBLES

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Time for the weather now with the Queen of the Geordies,

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Davina Wave and her sidekick Map.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Yay, Mappy!

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Howay man, Bob and Felicity!

0:18:54 > 0:18:57Now, nay Map today, I'm afraid.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59- He's had a little accident.- Oh, no!

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Ah, he's fine, man, Bob.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Just needs a couple of stitches, ya naah, in his East Anglia.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Stop everything right now.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08I'm sorry, Davina, but I'm going to have to cancel today's weather.

0:19:08 > 0:19:12- What?!- Well, one, no Mappy makes Bob unhappy.

0:19:12 > 0:19:16And two, I've actually secured an exclusive interview

0:19:16 > 0:19:19with a Hollywood superstar who happens to be in the building.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Ohhh! Well, nae bother.

0:19:21 > 0:19:26I suppose I'll just head back to baking me stottie cakes. Howay!

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Yes, the designers want to dress her,

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Bob Roberts gets to interview her!

0:19:30 > 0:19:34Give a warm DNN welcome to everyone's favourite

0:19:34 > 0:19:38actress of the moment, it's the one and only...it's Jennifer Lawrence.

0:19:38 > 0:19:43- No, no, Bob, it's Jenny. - Ooh, chummy! You're so real.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45Thanks for fitting us in to your busy schedule,

0:19:45 > 0:19:47or as you Americans say, pah-tah-toh!

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Not a problem, but I...

0:19:49 > 0:19:53So. Hunger Games or X-Men? Which do you prefer?

0:19:53 > 0:19:55I think you might be a bit confused here, Bob.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Oh! That is possible. Is it Hunger Men and X-Games?

0:19:58 > 0:19:59This is not Jennifer...

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Please, Felicity! This is MY interview.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05What's with the Scottish accent?

0:20:05 > 0:20:07You always speak Americano in the films!

0:20:07 > 0:20:08No, this is my real voice.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11Ah, right, yeah. So the American stuff is just for show.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Ooh! Like this one.

0:20:13 > 0:20:17Bob, this is not the actress Jennifer Lawrence.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21This is the presenter Jenny Lawrence. From Newsround, everyone!

0:20:21 > 0:20:25- Is it?- Yes. Sorry. - No, right, I've got it!

0:20:25 > 0:20:28You're doing that act-y thing, where you want to be interviewed

0:20:28 > 0:20:30as if you're the person you're playing.

0:20:30 > 0:20:32Hollywood superstar Jennifer Lawrence

0:20:32 > 0:20:33as Newsround's Jenny Lawrence.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35That is a bit of a coincidence, though?

0:20:35 > 0:20:39It's not Jennifer Lawrence, Bob! Jenny, I am so sorry.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42- So you've never been to the Oscars?- No.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Golden Globes?- No.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46Blackpool?

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Well, yeah, but a long time ago on holiday.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Great! Tell us about Blackpool.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Actually, Bob, I've really got to go. I only had a few minutes.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57Yes, well, there you have it, viewers. A DNN exclusive.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00Jenny Lawrence has been to Blackpool.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03- Well, thanks for joining us anyway. - You're welcome... I guess.

0:21:03 > 0:21:06So why are they making a movie of Newsround?

0:21:06 > 0:21:09Oooh! I wonder who'll play Ricky.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15And now it's back to Phil Tyme

0:21:15 > 0:21:17and his non-stop sticker thrill ride at the dentist.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19I reckon I'd make a good dentist.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22I mean, it's basically just looking at teeth and saying numbers,

0:21:22 > 0:21:24- isn't it?- It's not just...

0:21:24 > 0:21:261, 4, 9 and 8. That'll be £20 please.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28To be fair, that's not bad value.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Phil, over to you. - Thank you, Felicity.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34I'm here with Dr Flossy Crown,

0:21:34 > 0:21:37and I'm about to ask why she won't give out stickers to her...

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Stop laughing, you! We all know this is rubbish.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Phil, I thought you were supposed to be the People's Champion.

0:21:42 > 0:21:45Fine! Doctor, why won't you give him any stickers?

0:21:45 > 0:21:49Well, Phil, every sticker we give out costs 0.5p.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52Multiplied by 12.5 which is the average number of patients

0:21:52 > 0:21:54each dentist here sees ever day,

0:21:54 > 0:21:58that's a total cost of 6.25p.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Per dentist, per day.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Now, this might not seem like a lot,

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- but if you have a look at this graph, you'll see...- Man alive!

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Can I just ask, Felicity, is this report essential?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12I mean, a root canal examination would be more interesting than this.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Well, I'm happy to take a look for you, Phil.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Really? Fine, let's do it.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Anything's better than banging on about stickers all day.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22And I do like spitting into that hoover funnel thingy.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23Oh, well, thanks for nothing, Phil!

0:22:23 > 0:22:27- Oh, give it a rest. - Open wide, please, Phil.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Oh, my goodness. Your wisdom teeth are impacted.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32I'm going to have to operate on these immediately.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34No, wait, let's go back to the stickers...

0:22:34 > 0:22:38Marjorie! Fire up the tooth extractor next door, please!

0:22:38 > 0:22:41And cancel my appointments for the next five hours. Let's go.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Oh, cheese and crackers! No, Doc, I'm fine, honest.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Don't worry, Phil, I've done this before, you know.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49Oh, this is the People's Champion, Phil Tyme,

0:22:49 > 0:22:52asking why did I open my big mouth?!

0:22:52 > 0:22:56Terry, take 'em back, and tell Tessa it's soup for tea...!

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Phil Tyme, there, literally FILLING time.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Don't get it.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04- Filling. Dentist.- Nope.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Anyway, that's all we've got time for today.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09I'm off to do another advert for this.

0:23:09 > 0:23:14It's my DNN Felicity Bond Sing Yourself Fit dance work-out video.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17But hang on. Henry said no more selling our products on the show.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Yes, but I've been smart enough to do it

0:23:19 > 0:23:22whilst he's distracted by one of your wigs.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25Hmmm! Gives me a touch of the Harry Styles.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27I think he looks a bit more like Louis.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29Well, that is all we've got time for today.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32I've been the timely Felicity Bond. Say goodbye, Bob.

0:23:32 > 0:23:36Goodbye, Bob! Sing Yourself Fit with Felicity Bond.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Is that cos everyone runs a mile once they hear you sing?

0:23:38 > 0:23:40Bob, everyone tells me that I'm a really great singer.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42No, they say your singing really grates.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45Watch yourself, Jahmene. Look out for that paddling poodle.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Offside, Jahmene. No, offside, Kelly!

0:23:47 > 0:23:50Actually, offside, Jahmene. Kelly wins! Yes!

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Steve, do you think anyone would notice?