0:00:02 > 0:00:04# We've got a television show of our own
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Making stuff that's been designed by you lot at home
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Building your inventions the best that we can
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Mostly out of rubbish from the back of our van
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# We've even got a title that'll grab your attention
0:00:17 > 0:00:18# All together now! #
0:00:23 > 0:00:25- Ah, this is the life, isn't it?- Di.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29Sitting in our van, reading, relaxing.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31OUCHO CHUCKLES AND SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:00:31 > 0:00:35- Are you reading Captain Vegetable again?- Di.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38The cactus that can turn into any vegetable -
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- what a superpower that is(!) - PHONE RINGS
0:00:41 > 0:00:44- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - Yeah, I know!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Hello! Ed Petrie here - TV's most popular presenter,
0:00:47 > 0:00:51would you like an autograph? Oh, hello, Boss.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- It's the big cheese.- Uh-oh.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56The results of the survey are in? How did I do?
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Not as popular as I was last Monday?
0:00:59 > 0:01:04No, we've got some very impressive inventions lined up!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - A time machine?! No!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10You like the sound of a time machine?
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Well, no, I don't...
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Three days is a bit of a...
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Well, no, I think we could build one in three days.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Yeah, yeah. Yeah!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Yeah, yeah, OK, yeah.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Yeah, love you... I mean, bye.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26- What did you do that for?- Huh?
0:01:26 > 0:01:28- A time machine?- Di.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32- Why did you suggest a time machine? - OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Captain Vegetable isn't real! A time machine is...
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- a notoriously difficult thing to build.- Oh.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43I think a kid did send in a time machine actually. Here it is.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46It's from Oscar. It's called the Horologelator.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I guess... I guess...
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I guess we better go and see him then.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Oscar's mum told us he's at the dentist,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03so we'll cheer him up after his filling with a big surprise.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - You love going to the dentist?- Di.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- You haven't got any teeth.- Oh, di.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Oh, the dentist has just left the room!
0:02:12 > 0:02:16- Surprise!- Surprise!
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- It's us!- Di.- Ed and Oucho.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20MUFFLED SPEECH
0:02:20 > 0:02:22OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:02:22 > 0:02:25No, no, I think he is impressed.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I think he's just a bit star struck.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29MUFFLED SPEECH
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- I've seen this kind of thing before. - Oh?- Yeah.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36You also have to remember that we are at the dentists
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- and...and this is a really bad idea. - Oh.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Um...we should have just gone to your house.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45We know where you live. We'll see you there.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Good luck with the mouth and everything.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Look at that one! - OUCH LAUGHS
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Hey, Oscar! Come in, park yourself down.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Just looking at your baby photos.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- Look, your mum made us a cake. - Surprise!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02It's not a surprise, he knew we'd be here.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- So... How's your mouth? - Still a bit sore.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- We'll cheer you up when we make your Horologelator.- Cool.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13Yeah, time machine, very feasible. It'll be great.
0:03:13 > 0:03:19Just need you to put this on to find out what you've got in mind.
0:03:25 > 0:03:30I want to invent the Horologelator because I want to find out more
0:03:30 > 0:03:34about my favourite king, Henry VIII and what it's like to be a Tudor
0:03:34 > 0:03:37and being the fattest king in history
0:03:37 > 0:03:39but I want to be back in time for tea.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42That all sounds very interesting.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47I'm just wondering, why did you call it the Horologelator?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50It's Latin for a machine that manipulates time
0:03:50 > 0:03:54and we'll need to know a lot about time to make my invention.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Right, yes. Yes, of course.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01- Yes, I suppose first we have to find out what time is.- Oh.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - No, not what THE time is.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- What TIME is.- Ah. OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:04:08 > 0:04:12No... Oh, forget it. Let's get started on this.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16# Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions! #
0:04:16 > 0:04:19A time machine, how will we build this?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22What is time, anyway?
0:04:22 > 0:04:23OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Oh, for the last time, I'm not saying, "What is THE time!"
0:04:27 > 0:04:33- I am saying, "What is time?"- Oh, di!
0:04:33 > 0:04:35OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Yeah! But what is half-past-three, what does that mean?
0:04:39 > 0:04:43- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - No, no, not cake time.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45What is an hour of time? Yeah?
0:04:45 > 0:04:49A litre of milk is made of milk, A kilo of flour is made of flour.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - No, we're not baking a cake!
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Good job too, cos if hours and minutes didn't have names,
0:04:55 > 0:04:58how long would you leave it in the oven for?
0:04:58 > 0:04:59OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Well, yes, till it's golden and brown, but how long would that be?
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Cos time is nothing. Time is just a point between now...
0:05:08 > 0:05:09..and now!
0:05:09 > 0:05:12What is that? There's nothing in that gap.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Why would I want to find a cake recipe on the internet?
0:05:18 > 0:05:19What are you talking about?!
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Although the internet would be a good place to find out about time.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Oh!- Hello?- What is it? I'm very busy!- I need to know about time.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I'm not just here to answer your questions, you know.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Well, actually, you are.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Fine. Time, you say? Time? Time is another dimension.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44A dimension? What's a dimension?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47A dimension is a direction that an object sits in.
0:05:47 > 0:05:52Right. You know that sentence didn't make any sense, don't you?
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Think about a line from A to B.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57It has one direction, so we say it has one dimension.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Now add an up and a down. That's a second dimension.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01This is a rectangle.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04It's got an up and a down and a left and a right,
0:06:04 > 0:06:07so we say it has two dimensions, got that?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Oh, I see.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Now add a backwards and forwards. - It becomes a brick.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Yes! A three dimensional shape, like a brick.
0:06:15 > 0:06:16Oh, no!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Great, great. What's that got to do with time?
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Well, time can be thought of as another dimension.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27When you're walking forwards, the ground behind you is still there.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29It's the same with time.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32In theory, it's still there, you can just step back into it.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34So, yesterday is still there?
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Yes. Yesterday, when all my troubles were so far away.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41And tomorrow already exists?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Yes. Like a lovely, clean, egg-free room.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47The most important thing you must remember about time travel
0:06:47 > 0:06:48is that a small accident in the past
0:06:48 > 0:06:51could have terrible consequences for history.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Really? Like if someone in the present went back in time
0:06:55 > 0:06:57to meet a historical character?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Yes, but I wouldn't try that if I was you!
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Oh, right...yeah, yeah. OK, thank you.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08The internet said we shouldn't be messing around with a time machine,
0:07:08 > 0:07:10could be dangerous.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- Meh.- You're right, meh!
0:07:12 > 0:07:13- Let's build it anyway.- Di!
0:07:13 > 0:07:17So the internet said that time is a dimension. What is time?
0:07:17 > 0:07:21- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - No, it's a dimension.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Hang on a minute, it can't still be half past three.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Your watch is broken, mate.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Oh...yeah, yeah, and your watch gives me a brilliant idea.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Oh?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35HE LAUGHS
0:07:38 > 0:07:43Well, Oscar, we thought this was going to be hard but it was so easy.
0:07:43 > 0:07:49Just took a bit of thinking outside the box, or inside the box as you might say. OK, you ready for this?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Here's your Horologelator!- Da-da!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Is this it?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Yeah, this is it. It's a bit like a Tardis.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Oh, wait till you see inside, you're going to love it.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Sit down. I've set the calendar for 1530.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08- Was Henry VIII around then? - Definitely.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11I thought he was. Right, what are we waiting for?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14It's time to travel back into the past!
0:08:17 > 0:08:21BOTH MAKE MACHINE NOISES
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Beep-beep, beep-beep!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Oh! That's it! We've done it!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- Are we here?- Yes.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36- 1530.- Wow!- What are we waiting for? Why don't we go meet Henry VIII?
0:08:36 > 0:08:39No, no, no! You can't do that.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- It would be very bad. - Why is it going to be really bad?
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Well, you might upset the space-time continuum.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49We've got to stay in here. If you want to talk to Henry VIII,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52wait for him to walk past, then shout at him through the shed door.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- Wait for him to walk past?- Yes.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57This isn't really 1530, is it?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- It is!- I think you'll find it is.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02SIREN BLARES
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I'm going out there.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- No, don't do that.- No.- Oi, oi, oi!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09No, you do as you're told! No!
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Stop, stop, stop!
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Oh!
0:09:12 > 0:09:17Oh, we're alive! Oh, we survived the time-travelling experience.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Ooh!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Do you think I'm that stupid?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- No, no.- No.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Look, Oscar, this Horologelator is
0:09:25 > 0:09:28one of the hardest things we've ever had to build.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31But don't worry, we haven't failed yet.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33We won't give up.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34We can do this!
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Just after I've gone to the toilet in here.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Oh, I give up! We can't do this.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45We've been here for hours. We should ask someone for help.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:09:47 > 0:09:51We've been through this before. I'm not calling Dr Destruction.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Yes, he may well know everything.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- But he's evil and mad.- Noss.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01If he knows everything, then we should call him.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I'm not talking to him. You phone him.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Hello?
0:10:13 > 0:10:17Dr Destruction, deliverer of doom! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- Hi, it's Oscar.- Oscar who?
0:10:19 > 0:10:23- Tell him you're a friend of Oucho's from Magaluf.- Di.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I'm a friend of Oucho's from Magaluf.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30Ah, Oucho, the flamenco dancer. I remember.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Right. We need your help.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35We're building a Horologelator and need to go back in time.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38There are a number of ways to travel through time.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42But the easiest way to go back in time and destroy the world
0:10:42 > 0:10:45would be using a wormhole.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47A wormhole? That sounds a bit silly.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51A wormhole is a big hole, but the hole is in time.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53'If you went through one,'
0:10:53 > 0:10:56you could come out in the same place
0:10:56 > 0:11:00or you could come out millions of years in the past or future.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04This would also be a good way to destroy the world!
0:11:04 > 0:11:06I don't want to destroy the world.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Join me! Join me! Ha-ha-ha!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- He is weird!- Yeah, tell me about it!
0:11:13 > 0:11:17- What did he say?- He said we had to go through a wormhole.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- A wormhole? Well, what sort of worms?- He didn't say. He just said,
0:11:21 > 0:11:24if I went through a wormhole, I'd be able to go back in time.
0:11:24 > 0:11:29There's loads of different worms. There's earthworms, jellyworms,
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- woodworms... - OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- Bookworms.- Tapeworms?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Ugh! Oh, Oscar, there's no need for that. Ugh!
0:11:36 > 0:11:41No, what we need is a wormhole testing machine.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45# Ed and Oucho's excellent inventions! #
0:11:45 > 0:11:50Right, Oscar, we've got three different jars from the van.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Oh, you're right.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Oh, dear, we forgot to put the lids on.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- We're always doing that, aren't we? - Di.- We're so forgetful.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Unfortunate for you because I'll be throwing these jars over you.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06But there is a way out of this, right?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Here, we've got three wormholes.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12We're hoping that if you crawl through one of these wormholes,
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- you'll go back in time!- Di.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- And you can put the lids back on so you don't get covered in mess.- Yeah.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- What do you want to start with? - Custard.- Right, custard it is.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- Here we go!- Yep.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Get that on you there.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Lovely, get through there! He's going back in time!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- Did you go back in time?- Er...no.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38That one doesn't work. You didn't go back in time. Which one now?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40- Raspberry jam.- Raspberry jam.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44There we go. I've got a good feeling about this one.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Right, go back in time and put that lid back on.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49He's coming, he's coming!
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Oh, hang on a minute. Is that raspberry jam?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- Yes.- Oh, no!
0:12:55 > 0:12:57What happened in the time tunnel?
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- Absolutely nothing.- Nothing at all? - No.- What now?
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Rice pudding.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- Good luck, Oscar.- Yes!
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Good luck! Good luck!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Oh, it's like Back To The Future.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Right, go on, in you go!
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Don't go back to the '70s, got terrible dress sense.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Oh.- Oh, dear! One of two things has happened here -
0:13:24 > 0:13:28you went back in time, put the lids on and someone was sick on you
0:13:28 > 0:13:30or you're covered in rice pudding and that was a failure.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- I'm still covered in rice pudding. - What have we learnt from this?
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- Absolutely nothing. - We must have learnt something.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- Surely? We always learn something. - Oh!
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- I don't understand. - What shall we do now then?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I don't know. I don't know where to begin.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50With a time-dilation device and time-distortion tablets.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52With time-evaluation mice and...?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- What? Did you say that? - OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Look!
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Edzapsworth Petriamus at your service.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04But you can call me Zap.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06I've travelled here to tell you
0:14:06 > 0:14:11that the first time-travel device is not invented until the year 3012.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Plus, I've seen this episode in the future,
0:14:14 > 0:14:17and you don't invent a time machine.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22- No!- No!- No, no, no! We have to! No, no! Failure is not an option.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Listen, just cos you don't invent a time-travel machine
0:14:26 > 0:14:29doesn't mean you don't invent the Horologelator.
0:14:29 > 0:14:35Here, take this. This is one of your old-fashioned DVD devices.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38On it is this very episode.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41You'll see that you make Oscar's Horologelator
0:14:41 > 0:14:43using a 3D projector.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Oh, wow! Huh!
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Time for me to go.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Oh, yeah, bring some pizza next time.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- Let's watch the DVD and have some pizza.- Yeah.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59This should be fun.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02I'll just fast-forward through what's already happened.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06- Hey, that's you at the dentist. - Yeah.- Sorry about that.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Oh, my hair doesn't look very good there.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Oh, this is just freaky.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Oh, this is just freaky. - OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - No, they're not copying us - they ARE us.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21No, they're not copying us - they ARE us.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23All right, I'll fast-forward it.
0:15:25 > 0:15:30Oh, I know! If we can't take Oscar to Henry VIII,
0:15:30 > 0:15:34then let's bring Henry VIII to Oscar using 3D projection!
0:15:34 > 0:15:36That film director, Anthony Duffle Coat, can help us.
0:15:36 > 0:15:41Ah, so we project Henry VIII in 3D and it looks like he's come to life.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- Di.- A 3D film. Sounds cool.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Right, OK, well, um...I guess I'd better phone that film director,
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Anthony Duffle Coat. Back in a bit.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- PHONE RINGS - Cut!
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Darling!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00'Action!'
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Who is this?
0:16:01 > 0:16:05Ed. Ed Petrie. I need to ask you a question about film-making.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Ah, Ed, how lovely to hear from you, darling!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- Yes, I can talk to you for a minute. CUT!- Great, great!
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- I need to know how to make a 3D movie for Oscar.- The Oscars?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Well, that's marvellous, darling, marvellous.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Quiet, please!
0:16:19 > 0:16:24It has been said - by me - that all of my films should win Oscars.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28Now listen up, luvvie, if you're going to make a 3D movie,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31you need to shoot the film using two cameras.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Two cameras. Why?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36It's all about dimensions, darling. Dimensions.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Oh, all right, I know all about dimensions.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Well, could you tell the difference between something in real life
0:16:42 > 0:16:45and something on the television?
0:16:45 > 0:16:49For example, Brad Pitt in real life and Brad Pitt on the television?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Of course, I'm not a simpleton.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52And how can you tell?
0:16:52 > 0:16:57Well, Brad Pitt on the TV is... on the TV...obviously.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01Listen, a person on the television is flat.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02They have two dimensions.
0:17:02 > 0:17:08And how can you tell? Because your eyes can see dimensions.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Oh, wait, I'll write this down.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12When you look at an object,
0:17:12 > 0:17:16each eye sees the object from a slightly different place
0:17:16 > 0:17:19because your eyes are a few centimetres apart.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22So your brain receives two pictures -
0:17:22 > 0:17:24one from each eye.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Because the two pictures your brain receives
0:17:27 > 0:17:31are from slightly different angles, when your brain puts them together,
0:17:31 > 0:17:35you can see that the object has three dimensions and isn't flat.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39But when you watch TV, don't you still receive two pictures -
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- one in each eye?- Yes, you do. But your eyes only see the picture
0:17:42 > 0:17:45from the angle the camera was pointing at when the movie was made.
0:17:45 > 0:17:50So they both see exactly the same image from the same angle.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Ah, so your brain knows it's a flat picture.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Cut! I mean, action!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56I mean, exactly.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58So if I film Henry VIII with two cameras
0:17:58 > 0:18:02slightly apart from each other, when I project the pictures back,
0:18:02 > 0:18:04my eyes will see him from two different angles
0:18:04 > 0:18:07- and think he's there in three dimensions.- Exactly, darling.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- Do you have film cameras?- No.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13I do. Do you have a Henry VIII costume?
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- No.- I do. And do you have a special green screen to film against
0:18:17 > 0:18:21so you can use special effects to change the background?
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Do I have a what? Anthony, do you want to direct it?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Ah, darling, you're asking me! Ha-ha! Oh, yes!
0:18:28 > 0:18:33Yes! Come down to my film studios right now and let's make a movie!
0:18:33 > 0:18:37Oh, great! I'll be down there right away. Sounds brilliant!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Action!
0:18:49 > 0:18:50Ah!
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Is this my Horologelator?- Yeah.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02If we can't take you to Henry VIII, then we'll bring Henry VIII to you.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06It's got two projectors and a special screen here.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- Right, are you ready?- Yes!
0:19:13 > 0:19:16What's that? It's all fuzzy.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Er...yeah, yeah, it is.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Why is it doing this?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24We did everything we're supposed to.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28We had two cameras, we've two projectors, why is it not working?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- It looks like there's two pictures on top of each other.- I know.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Your brain should take the two pictures
0:19:34 > 0:19:36and turn it into a 3D picture.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Oh, what are we going to do?
0:19:37 > 0:19:41Why don't we watch that DVD from the future to see what to do next?
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Good idea. Let's do that.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44You're quiet.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Oh, you've watched this scene already.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- You don't say anything.- Noss. - Oh, all right.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55# Ed and Oucho's excellent adventures. #
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Oh, no, I think the big, big cheese stopped by for a visit.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Noss.- This does not look good. - Not at all.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Press play, will you, Oscar?
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- PHONE RINGS - Cut!
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Darling!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Hi, Anthony, it's Ed again. Ed Petrie.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19When we projected the movie, it didn't look 3D.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21It was fuzzy and blurry.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Fuzzy, you say?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Um...were you wearing your glasses?
0:20:25 > 0:20:30- I wear contact lenses.- Ha-ha-ha! You weren't wearing your glasses!
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Ha-ha! No wonder it didn't work, darling.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36- Don't blame my eyesight. It's your film that's faulty.- No, Ed, sweetie.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39It's all about light waves. Let me explain.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Hang on, I'd better write this down.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Light waves are a bit like waves you get at sea.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49Except light waves don't just wave up and down,
0:20:49 > 0:20:51they also wave from side to side.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55When you project a film from a projector,
0:20:55 > 0:20:59the light that comes out is a mixture of all these different waves
0:20:59 > 0:21:02unless you put a filter in front of the projector.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04A filter? What's that?
0:21:04 > 0:21:08A filter only allows a certain type of wave through.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Imagine a filter has lots of vertical slots on it.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Only the up-and-down waves will be allowed through the filter.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19So the entire film will be made up of only up-and-down waves.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22So, if you put a different filter in front of your eyes
0:21:22 > 0:21:24that had horizontal-shaped slots,
0:21:24 > 0:21:27which would only let through side-to-side waves,
0:21:27 > 0:21:30you wouldn't be able to see the film at all.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33But if you had vertical slots in front of your eyes,
0:21:33 > 0:21:34you would see the film.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36In order to see a 3D image,
0:21:36 > 0:21:40one needs to receive different pictures into each eye.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43At the moment, both pictures are going to both eyes.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45- That's why it's fuzzy. - Wait, wait, wait.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49So if I put a different filter in front of each projector,
0:21:49 > 0:21:52and in front of each eye, I can make sure the vertical waves go
0:21:52 > 0:21:56- to one eye and the horizontal waves to another eye.- Exactly, darling!
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Marvellous!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Oh, just one thing. Where do I get these filters?
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Why, I gave you a whole box of them.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05They look like sunglasses. ..Action!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Oh, where did I put those glasses?
0:22:07 > 0:22:09- <- Cut!
0:22:09 > 0:22:14Oh, great(!) Now I've lost a box of glasses, a boy and a cactus.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - Um...I don't suppose you've found
0:22:18 > 0:22:22a box of special 3D glasses that Anthony Duffle Coat lent to us?
0:22:22 > 0:22:23Duff...Duff...
0:22:23 > 0:22:27So these aren't 3D glasses? Oucho...?
0:22:27 > 0:22:28OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:22:28 > 0:22:30You're not an optician!
0:22:30 > 0:22:33And these aren't reading glasses. They're 3D glasses.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Give them all here.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38I'll give you three for £1! Now we've got all these,
0:22:38 > 0:22:43- we've got everything to make your Horologelator.- Brilliant!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51# This week, we were faced with a difficult task -
0:22:51 > 0:22:55# A time machine in three days? That's a serious ask
0:22:55 > 0:22:57# I thought we might have made a terrible mistake
0:22:57 > 0:23:00# As time machines are difficult to make!
0:23:00 > 0:23:02# The internet told us that time's a dimension
0:23:02 > 0:23:06# It was all starting to get beyond my comprehension
0:23:06 > 0:23:10# A dimension is the number of directions an object sits in
0:23:10 > 0:23:14# Frankly, it left me deeply confused
0:23:14 > 0:23:17# Was time the fourth dimension? I was utterly bemused
0:23:17 > 0:23:20# We knocked up a shed with a calendar in it
0:23:20 > 0:23:23# It came as no surprise when we had to bin it
0:23:23 > 0:23:27# With some reluctance called up Dr Destruction
0:23:27 > 0:23:29# Who proceeded to give us bizarre instruction
0:23:29 > 0:23:32# About wormholes and black holes and space and time travel
0:23:32 > 0:23:35# I could feel my world beginning to unravel
0:23:35 > 0:23:37# Time machine!
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# There's no way we could make it
0:23:40 > 0:23:44# Time machine!
0:23:44 > 0:23:47# But there was a way we could fake it!
0:23:50 > 0:23:52# A bloke from the future called Zap - or was it Zip? -
0:23:52 > 0:23:56# Had a DVD of the show Which gave us a tip
0:23:56 > 0:23:58# Apparently, we use a 3D projector
0:23:58 > 0:24:02# So I called Anthony Duffle Coat He's a movie director
0:24:02 > 0:24:05# Dressed as King Henry It was filmed in 3D
0:24:05 > 0:24:08# When we tried to watch it back it all looked fuzzy
0:24:08 > 0:24:11# The DVD, though, had one final surprise
0:24:11 > 0:24:14# Turns out we need filters in front of our eyes
0:24:14 > 0:24:16# Time machine!
0:24:16 > 0:24:20# That's not strictly true
0:24:20 > 0:24:22# It's a 3D projection
0:24:22 > 0:24:25# But frankly That's pretty good too. #
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Know what I mean?!
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- Well, Oscar, it was tough, but shall we reveal your Horologelator?- Yes.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35Right. Oscar asked us to make him the Horologelator -
0:24:35 > 0:24:38a time machine - so he could go back to 1530
0:24:38 > 0:24:41and meet King Henry VIII,
0:24:41 > 0:24:43and here it is!
0:24:46 > 0:24:47We failed!
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Oh, we failed!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51No, you didn't.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53You built the Horologelator. Here it is.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57With a 3D projector, and everything. It's really cool.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Now, hopefully, when Henry VIII comes to that window,
0:25:05 > 0:25:08he'll look like he's in the room, cos we've got filters
0:25:08 > 0:25:10in the projector and in these glasses.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Let's introduce this.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16Ladies and gentlemen, please put on your glasses...
0:25:16 > 0:25:19and prepare to be amazed...
0:25:21 > 0:25:23BEEPING
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Where's my lunch?! Where's my lunch?!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30This is just a snack!
0:25:30 > 0:25:36Ooh, jesters. Who ordered jesters? I'm not in a bad mood, you know?
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Clench-poops, make me laugh!
0:25:39 > 0:25:42We're not clench-poops. We're people from the future.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44The future?!
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Get out of my hall!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Please, Your Highness, since you're such a famous king,
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- could we ask you a few questions?- OK.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56- What's your favourite food? - My favourite food?
0:25:56 > 0:25:59My favourite, historically accurate food?
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Um...chicken nuggets and chips.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05- CHILDREN LAUGH - Pizza. No...
0:26:05 > 0:26:08This stuff. All this stuff.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Pies and things. Chocolate cake.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Chocolate cake?!
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Yeah! Wahh!
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Wah! Don't question me. I'm the king.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21- Oh, yeah. And you don't like girls much, do you?- Girls?!
0:26:21 > 0:26:24No! I love girls.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Too much, some people might say. I've been married so much.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31- HE CHUCKLES - Yeah, girls are great.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34All that prancing round they do, and sewing and stuff.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36But you cut off their heads.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Um...yes, yes. I do that. They like that.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Don't you, Anne?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46You see? She's nodding.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Little Tudor joke there.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Fetch!
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Are you going... Are you...
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Oh! I've got to get her back.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59By the way, clear off!
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Get out of here! You don't belong here!
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Don't you know who I am?! I'm Henry VIII, I am.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08I'm Henry VIII, I am. Argh!
0:27:10 > 0:27:12CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:27:12 > 0:27:16Oh, bravo! Bravo!
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- You better give him his present. - Yes.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Thanks for all your help, Mr Duffle Coat.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23It's Duffle Coot. COOT!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25What's this?
0:27:25 > 0:27:26It's an Oscar award.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28It's an Oscar award?!
0:27:28 > 0:27:31It's...it's an Oscar!
0:27:31 > 0:27:33I've won an Oscar!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Oh! Oh, I've prepared for this moment.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Ohhh. An Oscar.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42I would like to thank everybody for this...
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Well, who'd have thought that history could be so interesting?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:27:47 > 0:27:50What do you mean, why is the van not moving? It IS.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Why are WE not moving?
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Oh, yeah! We should be in that van.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:27:57 > 0:28:01At the end of that DVD, our van gets nicked! Oi!
0:28:01 > 0:28:05Oi! Why didn't you tell me the van got nicked?