0:00:02 > 0:00:04# We've got a television show of our own
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Making stuff that's been designed by you lot at home
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Building your inventions the best that we can
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Mostly out of rubbish from the back of our van
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# We've even got a title that'll grab your attention
0:00:17 > 0:00:18# All together now!
0:00:18 > 0:00:22# Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions! #
0:00:22 > 0:00:24OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:00:25 > 0:00:27- You can smell fire?- Di.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- Oh, no, you're right... fire!- Oh!
0:00:29 > 0:00:30Don't worry, thanks to my
0:00:30 > 0:00:34BBC fire warden training I know exactly what to do.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35- Stay here.- OK.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Don't thank me, thank the good people at BBC fire training...
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- ..or not!- Yeaarrghh!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Run!
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Come back here!
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Some people are so ungrateful, I just saved his life!
0:01:05 > 0:01:10- Come on, drive!- I'm going to drive, I'm just trying to find an invention
0:01:10 > 0:01:11that's near here.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Billy in West Yorkshire, yeah, that'll do.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16You, get back here!
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Come back here now!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20What do you think you're doing?
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Billy, open up, I'm sorry, this is supposed to be a surprise,
0:01:28 > 0:01:32- but there's an angry man after us... - Surprise!
0:01:38 > 0:01:41So, Billy, William...
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Bill, me old mate. No, not Geoffrey,
0:01:44 > 0:01:48his name's not Geoffrey, so, we're here to make your Spar Master, yes?
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Your karate practice machine. Are you good at karate?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Yeah, I'm a black belt.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56You don't need this then, do you?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Yes, it's only to practice.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Oh, yes, very good. Practice makes perfect.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04We need to find out what your invention needs to do, so,
0:02:04 > 0:02:08I just want you to put on this, the Brainstorm Helmet, look into
0:02:08 > 0:02:14my eyes and tell me, why do you want to invent the Spar Master?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22I want to invent the Spar Master,
0:02:22 > 0:02:26a karate training machine to practice on.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30I'd like my little brother Sam to control it,
0:02:30 > 0:02:33and I'd like it to score me on how well I'm doing.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37I'd like it to have an ice cream compartment,
0:02:37 > 0:02:40so that I can eat ice cream as a treat afterwards.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Yeah, ice cream.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47That's something we do know about. We know all about ice cream.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I think we can do this invention, no problem,
0:02:50 > 0:02:54so don't you worry, we'll get on to it right away.
0:02:56 > 0:03:01- Well, go on, then.- Yeah, all right, there's no rush, is there?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:03:03 > 0:03:07I don't think we should go, cos that bloke might still be there.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:03:09 > 0:03:13I'm not scared! No, I just thought that poor little Billy might be.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15You're forgetting, I'm a black belt.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19If you make my Spar Master, then I'll protect you.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23You will? I mean, thank you, that won't be necessary,
0:03:23 > 0:03:26but perhaps you could see us to the end of the drive, yeah?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Yeah.- Oh, good. You first.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38- Hiyy-yo!- Yeah, I think you're fighting a lost cause there.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- Uh?- We need to build this Spar Master,
0:03:40 > 0:03:44otherwise the angry man will make mincemeat out of us.
0:03:44 > 0:03:49- Oh, di.- Maybe you know how to build one?- Erm...
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- Nos.- Yeah. Once again, you pull through for me, right. Plan B.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56I'll use the internet.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01508, 509, 510, 511...
0:04:01 > 0:04:03COMPUTER BEEPS
0:04:03 > 0:04:06515. Hello, the internet speaking.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Forgotten how to use a dictionary?
0:04:09 > 0:04:10- Er, No.- No.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Tried asking your dad? Is your wife around?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15What? I haven't got a wife.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- I need some information. - Of course you do.
0:04:18 > 0:04:23Well, I'm tired of answering people's ridiculous questions.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Can't you make an exception, just this once?
0:04:26 > 0:04:28OK, go on, get on with it.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Good. Basically, we're making this thing called a Spar Master.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37It's a karate practice machine and we need to make it move.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Have you got any ideas? - Yes. You could use air.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42COMPUTER WHIRS
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Air? This is pointless!
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Air is made up of lots of particles,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49all moving about next to each other.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51When you get a gust of wind,
0:04:51 > 0:04:53that's the air whizzing past your face.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57I'm not sure he knows what he's on about, but I'll write this down.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00I mean, air, to make the Spar Master move, yeah, come on!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02If a container is full of air,
0:05:02 > 0:05:06and you add more, this pushes the particles closer together.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- This puts pressure on the walls of the container.- Right.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14- Imagine a beach ball. - Yeah, beach ball, yeah, yeah.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15When you blow one up,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18you add more air. The more air you put in,
0:05:18 > 0:05:19the firmer the walls become.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23So, the higher the pressure, the firmer the ball. Got it?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- OK. Thanks, The Internet.- Bye.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28I don't know why I bother! You phone me up whenever you want,
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I'm busy doing experiments, you never listen to what I say.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Oh, sorry, I'm losing you.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34ED MAKES STATIC BUZZING
0:05:35 > 0:05:36I can still see you!
0:05:36 > 0:05:38What? Oh...
0:05:39 > 0:05:43I've said it before and I'll say it again, the internet is rubbish...
0:05:43 > 0:05:45- it will never catch on.- Oh, oh, Ed!
0:05:45 > 0:05:49It just kept going on about air pressure, I mean, what good's that?
0:05:49 > 0:05:51OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- Oh, we can make the Spar Master inflatable?- Di.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57That's quite a good idea actually, yes, well done, yes.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Right, what do we need, what do we need?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:06:03 > 0:06:05All this talking about karate
0:06:05 > 0:06:07has reminded you about when you invented it?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:06:09 > 0:06:12When you were a chef? In Japan?
0:06:12 > 0:06:16OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Why do I keep repeating everything you say?- Di.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21I'm just trying to delay the inevitable, really.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Go on, tell your little story.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:06:32 > 0:06:33OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:06:33 > 0:06:38Ah, sorry, Oucho-San, you know, Oucho-San, you must chop vegetables,
0:06:38 > 0:06:43or you'll be in big trouble with big boss, Gordon Ramsay, he's so mean.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Di.- But Oucho-San, you have no knife here.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- You'll do it yourself?- Di.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Nah!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Wow, Oucho-San, that is very good.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- What is that?- Carroty.
0:06:57 > 0:07:02Karate? Well, I will tell my friends of you, Oucho-San,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04you and your karate-chopping.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08OUCHO SNEEZES
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Karate, hoya!
0:07:10 > 0:07:15Now, with my terrible Japanese accent and new-found karate skills,
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I will finally be able to perfect my signature dish,
0:07:18 > 0:07:20raw fish wrapped in rice.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21OUCHO SNEEZES
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Bless you!
0:07:24 > 0:07:28OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:07:28 > 0:07:32So you invented the karate chop when you were chopping carrots,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35and you said "carroty" and they thought you said "karate"?
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- Di.- And you invented the word for sushi as well?- No di.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42Oucho, what have I told you about word-based comedy misunderstandings
0:07:42 > 0:07:43involving stereotypes?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45That they end in letters like this.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48"Dear Oucho, your story was a lie."
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- It was a total lie, wasn't it?- Di.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Now, what would you like to say to people at home?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Shall we just get on and do some inventing?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59OUCHO BLOWS A RASPBERRY
0:07:59 > 0:08:00I'll take that as a yes.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Billy forward, forward, forward, forward, forward, stop.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Now we've been working really, really hard
0:08:19 > 0:08:21to make your dreams become a reality,
0:08:21 > 0:08:26- so, right before your very eyes, here is your Spar Master.- Ta-da!
0:08:26 > 0:08:29We've decorated it to make it look like the man that's chasing us,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32and we've used the power of air; it's inflatable.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Go on, lay into him, go on, give him the what for! Oh, yes!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Oh, imagine that was him!
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Oh, great, you see, take that, take that, angry man!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- Good stuff! What do you think? - Oh, di.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- I love it!- Oh, that's not the reaction we're used to
0:08:46 > 0:08:48at this point in the show. Great!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Oh, wait no, I hate it!
0:08:50 > 0:08:51Oh, that's more like it!
0:08:51 > 0:08:56There's no ice cream, and where's the scoreboard?
0:08:56 > 0:08:59I'll consult Oucho for a second.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02We haven't got away with it. We'll have to do some work.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03There you are!
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Oh, hello there, moody!
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Hello there, angry man.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11I've been looking for you two everywhere.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- What's this?- It's my Spar Master.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- Is this supposed to be me?- No!
0:09:15 > 0:09:20Then why does it say on it "Really ugly man that's chasing us"!
0:09:20 > 0:09:21It does? Oh, yes...
0:09:21 > 0:09:25Would you believe it, there's another really ugly man chasing us,
0:09:25 > 0:09:27not that you're ugly, obviously.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Have you ever considered a career in modelling?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32This is me. Who drew this?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- Er, Billy.- It wasn't me!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Yes, it was you, you naughty boy, and Billy does karate.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Yes, he's a black belt.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44So why does it say "drawn by Ed Petrie"?
0:09:46 > 0:09:47It says here...
0:09:47 > 0:09:50HE WHISPERS IN CACTINIAN
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Run? Er yes! Run!
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Well, that didn't go very well.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- And my Spar Master didn't work! - Oh, yeah, you're right...
0:10:01 > 0:10:04I forgot about the Spar Master being a disaster as well.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Yeah, you can say that again!
0:10:08 > 0:10:09HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Yes, I know we need to get the Spar Master moving properly.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Do you enjoy stating the obvious?
0:10:14 > 0:10:16HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I do not have a face like a horse!
0:10:18 > 0:10:19OUCHO NEIGHS
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- Guy, shush!- A horse goes neigh!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- Shut up! Shut up! - No, I'm not a horse!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Shut up!- All right, Billy. What, are you going to do some karate on me?
0:10:26 > 0:10:30All right, I'm sorry! It's just this angry man means business.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:10:34 > 0:10:38Yes, oh, that would be the perfect thing to do right now...
0:10:38 > 0:10:40listen to Dolly FM. Yes, I'd love to do that.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45RADIO PLAYS MUSIC
0:10:45 > 0:10:48'That song was dedicated to Oucho T Cactus,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51'a big Dolly Parton fan who has terrible trouble
0:10:51 > 0:10:55'with an annoying horse-faced friend who drives a pink car.'
0:10:55 > 0:10:56- I do not!- Shush!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58And now, time for some ads.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Sorry, sorry.
0:10:59 > 0:11:04'Yee-ha! It's Billy Drill Bit here, the cowboy builder.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06'Need a left-handed screwdriver?
0:11:06 > 0:11:10'I'm your cowboy. Need a pneumatic drill? Guess what?
0:11:10 > 0:11:15'I'm your cowboy and my pneumatic drills move using only the best air.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19'Remember my motto, cowboys... "Doing it without Billy is just darn..."'
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I'm sorry, Oucho, that guy is really annoying.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- Why don't we use pneumatics to build the Spar Master?- What?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Billy Drill Bit says his pneumatic drills work by air
0:11:28 > 0:11:32and we need air to move the Spar Master.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Oh, yeah, pneumatics, brilliant!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Actually we were thinking along those lines, actually.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41Although actually we've got some very hard building business to do,
0:11:41 > 0:11:43so probably best that a karate child like you pops off.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Yeah, see you later.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Great, I can't wait. See you later.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Bye!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Oh, Billy is happy, isn't he?
0:11:53 > 0:11:57I mean he won't be when he finds out we don't know what pneumatics are...
0:11:57 > 0:11:58HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:11:58 > 0:11:59We'd better ask someone.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Yee-ha, howdy, partners, what can I do you for?
0:12:06 > 0:12:10You looking for a lightweight screwdriver or a small hammer?
0:12:10 > 0:12:15- Looks like you'd need it!- Actually, I'm quite a dab hand at DIY.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18No, we just want to know about your pneumatic drills.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23You want to buy a pneumatic drill? You're in the right place.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24We just wanna know how they work.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Well, OK, partner, you asked for it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Them pneumatic drills move using air pressure.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33They've got cylinders and pistons inside.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37In the cylinder is high pressure air -
0:12:37 > 0:12:40that means there's lots of air squeezed in and all the
0:12:40 > 0:12:44air molecules are pressing against each other creating lots of force.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47The higher the air pressure, the more force that's created.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50It's like bulls in a rodeo pen.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54The more bulls are in there, the more they want to push their way out.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56OK, OK, I think we've got that bit.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59When we release the piston, the force of the air
0:12:59 > 0:13:01pushes the piston along the cylinder.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Because that air is under high pressure,
0:13:03 > 0:13:07the force is really powerful, powerful enough to break concrete!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Good, good.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Now we just need to work out where we can get one
0:13:12 > 0:13:14so we can use bits in the Spar Master, Oucho.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- Er, Ed.- What?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Well, howdy there, partners.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Now if you're looking for a pneumatic drill
0:13:22 > 0:13:24then they don't get more pneumatic
0:13:24 > 0:13:29than Billy Drill Bit's pneumatic drills and remember my motto,
0:13:29 > 0:13:34"Doing it without Billy is just darn silly!"
0:13:37 > 0:13:40OK, OK, all right. There you go.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43It's time we got building. Let's get Billy.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Billy? What his?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47No, not him, no, no, no, Billy the kid.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:13:49 > 0:13:52No, not the American outlaw, Billy the Kidd,
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Billy, the kid who designed the Spar Master that we're building.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- Oh, dee. - Yeah, that's right, Captain Cranium.
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Come on, let's go!
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Nice work-out.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32HE SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:14:32 > 0:14:36Sorry, Master Oucho. Let's test it out on the karate one.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Billy!
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Look, look how your Spar Master is coming on!
0:14:42 > 0:14:44We've added pneumatics to make it move.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48- Why's he making that noise?- He wants to be called Master Oucho now.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- It's bit annoying, actually, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52OUCHO BABBLES
0:14:54 > 0:14:55OUCH IS SILENT
0:14:55 > 0:14:56That's much better.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Now, it's very important your Spar Master works
0:14:58 > 0:15:01otherwise you won't be able to practise your karate
0:15:01 > 0:15:03and protect us from the angry man.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05So we're going to test it on a melon.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Then we'll test it out on you, yeah?
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- Yeah.- Ready?- Yep.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Right, let's see what this can do.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Whoa! It's a good job that wasn't your head!
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- Are you all right? - OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:15:23 > 0:15:24OUCHO IS SILENT
0:15:25 > 0:15:27OUCHO BABBLES IN CACTINIAN
0:15:27 > 0:15:29What? Well, we can get plenty of other melons!
0:15:29 > 0:15:33That was awful. It was even worse than the first one!
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Yeah, it was awful! Why didn't we test it on the angry man?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Well, it wasn't the worst thing that's happened all week.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- No, no, no.- Let's not talk about that again, though.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43I'll never get those stains out.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Do you think you'll ever be able to make the Spar Master for me?
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Oh, Billy, don't worry about that.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54It's like you haven't got any faith in us!
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Imagine that!
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Well, it isn't moving properly and there's no sign of the ice cream
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- or score board. - OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Yeah, don't worry about that, that's all in hand. You are taking
0:16:07 > 0:16:11- care of the score system and the ice cream?- Oh, dee.- Really?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Oh, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17You're not going to leave it to the last minute
0:16:17 > 0:16:19and then go and borrow them from someone?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:16:21 > 0:16:22- You're offended?- Dee.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Well, you do do that sometimes.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Wah?- Yes, you do, yes.- Really?- Yes.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:16:28 > 0:16:31OK, thanks mate. I'm sorry I doubted you.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Don't you worry, Billy, this Spar Master
0:16:33 > 0:16:36is going to be fantastic, it's very important to us.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:16:38 > 0:16:41If we don't make the Spar Master, you can't practise.
0:16:41 > 0:16:46- And then that man with extreme anger issues will be after us.- Dee.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49And obviously we care very deeply about making you happy.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52I mean that's obviously the most important thing.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55- OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN - Yes, yes, so let's have a think.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57What went wrong?
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- I've got it!- Uh?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04The pneumatics in the arm were too strong.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07The pneumatics are too strong?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Are you sure you can't just leave them as they are?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- No way, they'd knock me out! - All right, OK, so the pneumatics are
0:17:13 > 0:17:17too strong so we need to make the pneumatics less strong.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Oh, why did I ever leave Rustington?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Life was simple in Rustington. There's no science in Rustington.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27We'll probably get this wrong and then the angry man will get us
0:17:27 > 0:17:29and then we'll probably get the sack
0:17:29 > 0:17:32and that's a bit of a recurring theme in this programme!
0:17:32 > 0:17:38Calm down, calm down, calm down! Ed, Eddie.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40No.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43No, Oucho, I don't think a nice cup of tea is good enough.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- Uh?- I think what I need is...
0:17:47 > 0:17:51- a coffee!- Noooooo!
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Yes, yes, Oucho, a coffee it be!
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Hi, what can I get you?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07I'll have a latte, please.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Ha, ha, ha! A latte?!
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Yeah, a latte. What's so funny about that?
0:18:13 > 0:18:15OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:18:15 > 0:18:17- It- IS- manly. Men drink lattes.
0:18:17 > 0:18:24Aw! Your friend is so cute! I love cacti!
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Hello! Oi!
0:18:28 > 0:18:32So, do you know a lot about coffee?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34OUCHO LAUGHS
0:18:34 > 0:18:36I'm just trying to make conversation.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Sorry, I must apologise for my companion.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42He's very rude. Hasn't got a lot of friends, very bad breath.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44It's put many a person off their biscuits!
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Thank you.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Urgh! How did you do that?
0:18:50 > 0:18:51OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- Make this go back up, now!- Nos!
0:18:54 > 0:18:59He just pressed the lever and the chair pneumatics did the rest.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Get off, press the lever and the chair will come back up.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Oh, yeah, thanks.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12- Ha ha ha!- Sorry, did you say that was pneumatics?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Yes, simple pneumatics.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17Yeah. I don't mean to be rude, but I know a bit about pneumatics
0:19:17 > 0:19:19and if this chair is using pneumatics,
0:19:19 > 0:19:22that I would have gone up through the ceiling.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25No it wouldn't! It's pneumatics!
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I think I know, and it isn't.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29And I think I know, and it is.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33- It isn't!- Is!- Isn't!- Is!- Isn't!- Is! - Isn't!- Is!- No, she's not right.
0:19:33 > 0:19:39I am right. Force is controlled by the air pressure. Watch this.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47With this balloon, the higher pressure,
0:19:47 > 0:19:49the greater the force.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52With this...
0:19:52 > 0:19:56the lower the pressure, the lower the force.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00That chair uses lower air pressure so that it moves with less force.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- Aah, right. - OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:20:03 > 0:20:04Pardon?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- You need me now, don't you, to translate?- Come off.- Yeah.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09He said how come you know that?
0:20:09 > 0:20:14- How rude! Can't a woman that works in a caff know about science?- Nos.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- I'm gonna get my boyfriend to have a word with you.- Huh?
0:20:16 > 0:20:20In fact...here he is now.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22- There you are!- Run!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Get out!
0:20:30 > 0:20:35What are you hyperventilating for, I was the one doing the running?!
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Oh, dee. - We may have run into that scary,
0:20:37 > 0:20:40angry man again but at least we've found out that our pneumatic arm
0:20:40 > 0:20:44- had air pressure that was too high. - Oh, dee...
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Yeah, we need to find out how much pressure to use.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50What we need is an air pressure testing machine.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- Lavas to mut. - Leave it to you?- Dee.- Oh, great!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58What about that scoring system and the ice cream?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:21:01 > 0:21:03You're a super cactus today!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- I knows!- Oh, by the way, what happened to your karate outfit
0:21:06 > 0:21:08and calling yourself Master Oucho?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Wha?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17You're not gonna need me when you've got your machine?
0:21:17 > 0:21:22- Nope!- Ooh, talking of machines, someone's been a busy boy!- Oh, dee.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Where did you get that from, your dodgy mate Terry, I suppose?
0:21:25 > 0:21:26Nos, nos, nos.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Who did you get it from, then?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Terry's wife?- Hm.- What's she called?
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- Too-oo-oo-oo-oo-ri.- Terry?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36How does it work then?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:21:39 > 0:21:40So we've got a baby arm here,
0:21:40 > 0:21:44a granny arm and a sailor's arm.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- Right, so each pneumatic arm has a different air pressure.- Dee.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- OK, and the higher the air pressure the stronger the arm?- Dee.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- So we need to find the best strength for your Spar Master?- Yep.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Oh, and Oucho's laid on lunch!
0:21:57 > 0:21:58OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:21:58 > 0:21:59They're testing on.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02It's not a very healthy lunch is it, custard pies?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- Nos.- OK, let's get testing.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Where shall we start?
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- Low pressure.- OK.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10That's the baby arm.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- Hardly made a dent in it!- Rubbish!
0:22:16 > 0:22:18- Which one shall we do next? - Medium air pressure.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20That's the granny arm.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25- A lot better!- Do you think that might be what you're after?
0:22:25 > 0:22:29- Mmm, maybe.- Well, let's hold off until we've seen the sailor's arm.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I think this could be good.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Here we go, sailor's arm, very high pressure.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- Oooh wow!- What do you think of it?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42You could knock me into next week!
0:22:42 > 0:22:44I could definitely knock you into next week!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46What would be the best for your Spar Master?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- I think the granny arm.- Yeah?
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- Why's that?- Because it's what I'm used to, not too powerful.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- When you're sparring with other people?- Yep.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Medium air pressure it is. By the way,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59have you sorted the scoring system and the ice cream?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03Oh, dee dee, Ed. Dee...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Excellent! It's all coming together.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Does anyone fancy a snack?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18# This week I soaked an angry man which was silly
0:23:18 > 0:23:22# So we legged it to Yorkshire for protection from Billy
0:23:22 > 0:23:25# We said we'd make his Spar Master machine
0:23:25 > 0:23:29# So he could practise his karate and then eat ice cream
0:23:29 > 0:23:32# The internet told us all about air pressure
0:23:32 > 0:23:36# How tiny particles can get all pushed together
0:23:36 > 0:23:39# Our first attempt proved anti-climactic
0:23:39 > 0:23:43# Billy filled us in on the subject of pneumatics
0:23:43 > 0:23:44# Cylinders
0:23:44 > 0:23:46# Pistons
0:23:46 > 0:23:50# Extreme high pressure
0:23:50 > 0:23:54# Cos this is what we need, you betcha!
0:24:00 > 0:24:03# We set ourselves up with a pneumatic arm
0:24:03 > 0:24:08# It had such immense power it caused serious harm
0:24:08 > 0:24:10# Went for a coffee, we were at a dead end
0:24:10 > 0:24:14# I managed to upset the angry bloke's girlfriend
0:24:14 > 0:24:18# But not before we'd witnessed her pneumatic seat
0:24:18 > 0:24:21# Could this inspire us to snatch victory from defeat?
0:24:21 > 0:24:25# It used lower air pressure, that was a surprise,
0:24:25 > 0:24:28# We tested once again, smashed some lovely pies
0:24:28 > 0:24:29# Oh, Spar
0:24:29 > 0:24:32# Master
0:24:32 > 0:24:35- # There's no way it can fail - Oh, no
0:24:35 > 0:24:42# But let's not forget, no, let's not forget,
0:24:42 > 0:24:47# There's one angry bloke on our tail!
0:24:47 > 0:24:48# Dee, dee, dee! #
0:24:50 > 0:24:53So, Billy, this is the big finale. How are you feeling?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55- Dee.- Surprised!
0:24:55 > 0:24:57- You didn't think we could pull it off?- Yep!
0:24:57 > 0:24:58- Well, we did!- Dee.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Billy asked us to build him a karate practice machine
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- called the Spar Master, which was good for us.- Yah.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- Well, shall we show everyone at home?- Yep!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- Here it is!- Ta-da!
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- No, that's not it! Did you think that was it?- No, no!
0:25:14 > 0:25:18If you thought that, you're an idiot! Here it is!
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Pretty professional job, I think you'll agree!
0:25:35 > 0:25:37All we need now is someone to operate it.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41- That will be my brother, Sam.- Sam!
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- Are you ready to operate Billy's Spar Master?- Yeah.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Great. You'll need these, mate.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Let's go!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Nice on, Billy!- Oh, dee!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Nice kick!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03This kid has got skills!
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- He'll definitely be able to protect us from the angry man now!- Dee.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10- Nice controlling, Sam.- Dee.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27So Billy, how was sparring with the Spar Master?
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- Dee!- Great!- Why's that?
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Because it was really realistic.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Yeah it was, wasn't it? And you got a good score.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36- Wow!- Where did you get that scoreboard from?
0:26:36 > 0:26:39- Internet? Aah, very resourceful. - Ice cream!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41- Have you got any ice cream left? - No!- Wha?
0:26:41 > 0:26:43- You've scoffed it?- Wha?! Oh, nos!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46We turn our back for five minutes and you've scoffed the lot!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- Oh, raaa!- Oh, thank you very much(!)
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Where did you get the ice cream in the fridge?
0:26:51 > 0:26:53You borrowed it from the coffee shop?
0:26:53 > 0:26:57- Um, dee.- When you say "borrowed", do they actually know you've got it?
0:26:57 > 0:27:01- Er... nos.- I mean you say coffee shop, do you mean the coffee shop
0:27:01 > 0:27:03the angry man's girlfriend works in?
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- Dee.- The angry man that's after us, and I don't mean he wants
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- to take us out on a romantic meal?- Dee.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- The angry man that's rapidly approaching us right now?- Dee!
0:27:12 > 0:27:16I've got you at last! Sam, Sam!
0:27:19 > 0:27:21- Thanks, Sam! Thanks, Billy!- Dee!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24I still don't know why that bloke was so angry with us!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27He should have thanked us for putting out that fire
0:27:27 > 0:27:29and basically saving his life.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN
0:27:31 > 0:27:34You've never been more right, Oucho, he was a horrible man!
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Yes, well that's going a bit far, but anyway,
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- at least we'll never have to see him again!- Dee.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43- Oh, Ed, look.- Yeah.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Yeah, I know you love fire-eaters.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48You're very well-known for it.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Shall we go and have a look? It will be a nice end to the show.
0:27:51 > 0:27:52- Oh, dee.- Not you two again!
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Come back here, come back here!
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk