0:00:02 > 0:00:04CROWD CHEERS
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hello, this is the FIT O'Clock News. Our top stories today.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39There was controversy at the World Athletics Championships when
0:00:39 > 0:00:43officials imposed strict new health and safety guidelines in the javelin.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Ah, ah!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49A survey today reveals that eight out of ten children
0:00:49 > 0:00:52prefer eating broccoli to eating chips,
0:00:52 > 0:00:56and that eight out of ten children lie to people doing surveys.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Scientists have invented a new form of bicycle
0:00:59 > 0:01:02designed to encourage children to cycle more.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Patricia Johnson went to investigate.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Professor Legg, tell us about this revolutionary new bicycle.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Well, kids will absolutely love riding this.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13No need for helmets,
0:01:13 > 0:01:16as I've enclosed the riding area in a crash-reinforced cabin.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20The seat is much wider and you can actually ride this bike
0:01:20 > 0:01:23with a friend or sibling, because I've put two in the back.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25And for extra road safety,
0:01:25 > 0:01:28this bike is steered from a separate driving seat in the front
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- by a parent or guardian.- Right.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Oh, and because kids' lives are so hectic,
0:01:32 > 0:01:36we've given it an engine and a battery and a stereo.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Isn't that just a car?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43HE SIGHS
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I knew it reminded me of something!
0:01:53 > 0:01:56The Misspelt Games!
0:01:56 > 0:01:59You join us this glorious afternoon at the Geldof Outdoor Stadium
0:01:59 > 0:02:02for the last qualifier in the women's peach volleyball.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Reigning champions Argentina here meeting Team GB.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08The Brits not noted for their light touch with soft fruit,
0:02:08 > 0:02:10traditionally doing better in the breadminton.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13A great silver yesterday. And here we go.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Excellent first serve from Maria Ginasterra.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- Oh, that's textbook, what a bruiser. - No chance of eating that now.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Not unless you like grass in your fruit salad.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23- BUZZING! - Ah!- Oh, dear!
0:02:23 > 0:02:26It looks like Ginasterra's been stung. Nasty.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Ah, one of the pitfalls of peach volleyball - wasps.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:02:35 > 0:02:37WOMAN: Er? Um...
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- MAN:- Those are 70 pence.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Excuse me, they're 70 pence.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42That's another one who hasn't paid.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Excuse me, they're...
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Oi! Stop, thief, give me that back!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48I'm going to call the police!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54WHISTLING
0:02:58 > 0:03:01CHILDREN SHOUT
0:03:02 > 0:03:04WHISTLE BLOWS
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Can I have everyone's attention, please?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09WHISTLE BLOWS AGAIN Everyone, thank you.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Looking good, aren't I? Yeah?
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Yeah?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17You know it. OK...
0:03:17 > 0:03:19As you were.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24BUZZ! CROWD CHEERS
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- What's that?- Double chocolate, vanilla and raisin.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37Oh, that is so bad for you, that ice cream, so bad.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41- What are you having?- Oh, I'm having a seaweed and garlic flavoured yofu.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45- Yofu?- Yes, it's yoghurt and tofu, except it's yofu.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48It's so good for you, so good. Do you know what the additives in that
0:03:48 > 0:03:51do to your body? Oh, they're so bad for you.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- What do they do? - Oh, I can't tell you, it's that bad.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58They're made up of tiny bits of cow, and, if you eat too many of them,
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- then a big udder grows on your face.- What?- Yes!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Then your body melts into mush and people have to carry you in a bucket.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05- Really?- Yes, really.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Sorry.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10SHE RETCHES
0:04:17 > 0:04:19SMASH! MAN: Sorry!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Hi, guys, I'm Chad Stevens.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26You might recognise me from the time-saving tips ads on TV,
0:04:26 > 0:04:27like this one.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Think of the time you waste doing a toilet.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Save up your daily wees into one manageable monthly wee.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Gangway!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- SPLASHING MAN: Ah!- I'm like a proud mom,
0:04:43 > 0:04:45just like the male version.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47If only there was a word for that.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- A dad?- Ssh! - MAN: Oh, that feels good!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54SPLASHING STOPS
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- Aweso...! - SPLASHING STARTS AGAIN
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- SPLASHING STOPS, ZIP! - Awesome!
0:05:03 > 0:05:07Job done! And job done.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Actually, I only... got as far as the sink.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Excuse me.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15SPLASHING
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Practise hard and believe in yourself.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23And, if that doesn't work, wait until the other guy's not looking
0:05:23 > 0:05:24and just tie his shoelaces together.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- BOOMERANG WHISTLES - Sporting tips?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31Well, you must never get distracted when you're throwing a boomerang.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45SHE SIGHS LOUDLY
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Oh, come on, fish.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53I haven't got all day!
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Right...
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I'm going to count to five
0:05:58 > 0:06:03and, if you're not on the end of my line by the time I finish,
0:06:03 > 0:06:05you're in big trouble!
0:06:07 > 0:06:10One...two...
0:06:11 > 0:06:14..three... I mean it!
0:06:14 > 0:06:16..four...
0:06:16 > 0:06:18five!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Right, that is it, I'm coming in.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24All right...
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Where are you?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Don't even think about hiding!
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I'm now two weeks into my attempt
0:06:35 > 0:06:39to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40There's a terrible storm.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43The waves are over 30 feet high
0:06:43 > 0:06:45and the mast is damaged.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48I haven't slept for 48 hours.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53I feel utterly exhausted and feel so very, very alone.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56There's not another person around
0:06:56 > 0:06:58for hundreds of miles!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00MUSIC PLAYS > Hey, Jessica!
0:07:00 > 0:07:01Have you seen the bottle opener?
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Shut up! I'm doing my webcam diary thing.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Oh, whoops, sorry!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08But could you pass me the bottle opener?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Honestly, do I have to do everything around here myself?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Thanks. Hey, everyone, OK, can you keep it down?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Jessica's doing her webcam.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21I just want to say to my family
0:07:21 > 0:07:25that I love you all and I miss you all so very, very much.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- It's just so hard... - DOOR OPENS
0:07:28 > 0:07:31..being all alone out here in the middle of the ocean.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33I didn't realise how hard it would be,
0:07:33 > 0:07:36but what's keeping me together is knowing that
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- I'll see you all when I get home. - LID SLAMS
0:07:39 > 0:07:42(Sorry. Some glasses, sorry.)
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Does anyone know how to edit on this thing?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50You see, it's important to bring the odd extra racquet.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52It depends on the kind of game you want to play.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55I've had these strung to different pressures,
0:07:55 > 0:07:58so, if I feel like a baseline game, I can go for a higher tension.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01But if I feel like a more serve and volley game,
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- I can bring it down a notch. - Right, I'm fine with this.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Er, I think you're going to have to be a bit more prepared than that
0:08:06 > 0:08:08when you're playing this, mate.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- That's, er, one-nil to me. - I wasn't ready!
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Do it again!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Two-nil.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Sorry, miss, I can't do PE today. I've got a note.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I've got shin splints and I've got to see a physio.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Yeah, miss, I can't do it either. My feet are fluffy.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40On your marks...
0:08:40 > 0:08:42set...
0:08:42 > 0:08:45PISTOL FIRES
0:09:01 > 0:09:03TELEPHONE RINGS
0:09:07 > 0:09:10RINGING CONTINUES
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Hello.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Yes. Well, is it urgent? It's just that I'm texting.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Fine, OK, no need to go on!
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Yes, straight away!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25SHE SIGHS LOUDLY They want me to make an announcement.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Honestly, it's all go round here. Can I help you?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- One for the gym, please. - The gym? At your age?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- I'm only 38.- 38?! Do you want to sit down?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Do you know your own name?
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Yes, it's Ben. I go to the gym every day. I'm only 38.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Now, can I please have a locker key?
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Seriously, it is not safe for the old people here.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50I know you don't understand computers and stuff,
0:09:50 > 0:09:53but don't you think you'd be much happier at home
0:09:53 > 0:09:55with a nice rug over your knees,
0:09:55 > 0:09:58snoozing and trumping away in front of the Antiques Roadshow?
0:10:00 > 0:10:01SHOUTS: Do you want a biscuit?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03TELEPHONE RINGS
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Yes, I'm doing it now! I've got a bit of a situation.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11So that's one for seniors line dancing, is it?
0:10:11 > 0:10:13One for the gym, please.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Fine. But we can't be held responsible.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18You're going to have to sign one of these.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23- If I sign this, will you give me a key?- Yes.- OK.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28And just one over there.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30And sign here.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32And one over here.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35And the little one on the left.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37That last one there
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Before that one there.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43- Hmm!- Thank you.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48TELEPHONE RINGS
0:10:48 > 0:10:52I'm doing it now!
0:10:52 > 0:10:55SHE SIGHS LOUDLY
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Can we get a first aider to squash court two urgently?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01That's a first aider to squash court two urgently.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04There's a lady with a very severe injury down there.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08And you might want to pop into the gym while you're at it,
0:11:08 > 0:11:09just to be on the safe side.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Honestly, there's no helping some people.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Here's a tip I've always found works for me, um...
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Don't play sport.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Don't wear goggles when swimming in a public pool.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29It's usually best if you don't see what's floating in the water.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Don't make fun of anyone wearing boxing gloves.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Right, there you go.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- OK, who wants porridge? - Stop it! Stop it now!
0:11:40 > 0:11:45My name is Dave Pike and I'm here to tell you where danger lurks.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51As a former stuntman, let me tell you what I see.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55I see two kiddies and a lady wife unaware that they're in danger.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Now's not a good time, we're in a bit of a rush.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01- I'm running late for work and I've got to do the school run.- Idiot!
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- What?- Ignorant Dad Is Over Tired
0:12:04 > 0:12:06and that is when accidents happen.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Family, please vacate the dining area.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14I see a tray loaded with breakfast goodies.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18Porridge, bananas, apple, spoons, yum.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Were you about to walk them to the table?- Yes.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Yet you haven't mentioned the risk involved in doing such a manoeuvre
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- on a skateboard. - I wasn't going to use a skateboard!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, how many times have I heard that?
0:12:30 > 0:12:33There's one in the hallway, bring it to me please.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36Thank you.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Now if I was to place this here.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44In order to save valuable time, I'm going to deliver the breakfast
0:12:44 > 0:12:47on a skateboard, but look what happens.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51SMASH!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Do you see how dangerous that was?
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- Are you all right? - I've got hot porridge in my eyes.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01It hurts quite a lot, actually.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Hello?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Hello?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11CROWD: Wow!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13And now on Radio FIT,
0:13:13 > 0:13:16guiding you aimlessly through the rest of the athletics,
0:13:16 > 0:13:18it's our clueless commentators.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22And you join us here live at the, erm...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- whatever this is.- Erm...
0:13:25 > 0:13:29- Balancing?- It must be balancing. She's not doing anything else.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33The Great British hope, it says here, is Asher Bradley, just 17.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36That's steady as a rock there on the edge of the water hazard.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38So young, but looking at that,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41that is what I imagine to be Olympic-quality balancing.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44She's in a beautiful stride. If she can keep this up,
0:13:44 > 0:13:45she must be in medal contention for...
0:13:45 > 0:13:47BUZZ! CROWD CHEERS
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Oh, my goodness!- She's fallen in. - They've all fallen in!
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Well, that's got to be a photo finish. No way of calling that.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56I imagine they were startled by the loud noise, but there you go.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Every single competitor at the balancing finals fell in at once.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03The difference between gold and bronze at this level
0:14:03 > 0:14:04is a fraction of a fraction of a second.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06And they're all swimming to safety there.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10That is a relief. Now back to Giles, who's with the man
0:14:10 > 0:14:14who had obviously had quite enough of his big metal Frisbee. Giles?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20WHISTLE BLOWS
0:14:20 > 0:14:24It's here. Now That's What I Call Polite Football Chants.
0:14:24 > 0:14:2744 of the nicest songs from the terraces.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29With hits including Your Kit.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34# Your Kit looks really nice on you! Do-da! Do-da!
0:14:34 > 0:14:38# It makes your eyes look really blue Oh, the do-da-day! #
0:14:38 > 0:14:41And referee's favourite - Another Great Decision.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44# Another great decision!
0:14:44 > 0:14:47# You've made another great decision!
0:14:47 > 0:14:50# 20/20 vision!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53# You've made another great decision... #
0:14:53 > 0:14:56And the morale boosting Well Done.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59CLAP-CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP! Well done!
0:14:59 > 0:15:02CLAP-CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP! Well done!
0:15:02 > 0:15:05And winner of The Most Sporting Song of the Year, When Both Teams.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09# Oh, when both teams go marching in
0:15:09 > 0:15:13# Oh, when the teams go marching in
0:15:13 > 0:15:16# We don't mind who wins or loses
0:15:16 > 0:15:20# It's the taking part that counts! #
0:15:20 > 0:15:22CHEERING
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Now That's What I Call Polite Football Chants, out now.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27MUSIC STOPS, WHISTLE BLOWS
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Overworked? Tired? Over tired?
0:15:32 > 0:15:37Then you need the Brian Butterfield Ultra Pill.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I have harnessed all of the proteins, protwenties,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43minerals, mini-minerals, essential and non-essential fats
0:15:43 > 0:15:48that your body needs to remain healthy into this one handy capsule.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54The Ultra Pill comes in plain and neutral flavours.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58It breaks down into three convenient segments.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59One for breakfast.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01The perfect start to your day.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04One for lunch.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Mmm, nutritious and delicious.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10And, of course, dinner.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Mm, filling.
0:16:18 > 0:16:23But remember, you must keep your Ultra Pill refrigerated between meals
0:16:23 > 0:16:26otherwise it will go off.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Order now and get these free Ultra Pill straps, making it
0:16:30 > 0:16:34even easier for you to carry it with you throughout your day.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36The Brian Butterfield Ultra Pill.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Call now!
0:16:41 > 0:16:45And now it's time to re-join our clueless commentators trackside.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47CHEERING
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- No.- No way.- We're not doing this. - You're just being silly now.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51That's not a sport.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54This is worse than that woman who keeps ruining the sandpit.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05How's that? Yes!
0:17:05 > 0:17:08APPLAUSE
0:17:08 > 0:17:10What? It was out? He got caught out!
0:17:11 > 0:17:13What?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15I'm so sorry, I was miles away.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17You know, sometimes, when your mind just wanders?
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I don't suppose you could do it again?
0:17:19 > 0:17:22I promise I'll pay attention this time.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30CHEERING
0:17:32 > 0:17:34SMASH! AUDIENCE: Whoa!
0:17:35 > 0:17:38No, totes! I mean, I don't mind sailing around the world,
0:17:38 > 0:17:40but like I'd do it on my own. That'd be so boring.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- LOUD MUSIC PLAYS > - No, totes, don't worry about it.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45No-one knows there's anyone else on board.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49- Jessica, would you like an ice cream? - Oh, cheers, Sebastian.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Did you know that the live webcam is still on?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58THUD! MAN: Ow!
0:18:03 > 0:18:08Ye-e-e-e-es! Come on! Yes!
0:18:08 > 0:18:11I did it! Yes!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Have a piece of that! Woohoo!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Mwah! Woohoo!
0:18:16 > 0:18:20Thank you so much!
0:18:21 > 0:18:2215-0.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29I'll always remember what Wayne Rooney told me
0:18:29 > 0:18:31the first time we played together.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35NEVER put your blues in with your whites in the same wash.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40Here's a sporting tip, why train for hours to win a swimming race
0:18:40 > 0:18:44when you can just shout, "SHARK!" when you dive into the pool?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Swimming's the best all-round exercise there is.
0:18:49 > 0:18:50Apart from Nordic skiing.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- But for that you'd have to go to Norway.- And have skis.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57We'll split our hour and a half session equally between freestyle...
0:18:57 > 0:18:58- Breaststroke.- Backstroke.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02And butterfly, ensuring an all over muscle-toning workout.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- Come on!- Have it!- Get in!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07And here's the cafe where we can reward ourselves afterwards
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- with a healthy power cookie. - Full of nuts and dried fruit.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Mmm.- Mm-hm.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16There's only two left.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18They'll probably be gone by the time we finish.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22Reckon we should have our power cookies now, before our workout?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24It would give us more energy.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26We couldn't have them without two frothy coffees.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- No, that'd be like doing aerobics without stretching.- Exactly.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33Hello, can we have two power cookies and two frothy coffees, please?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- We'll be able to do about two hours after this.- Yeah.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Although my mum always said that
0:19:38 > 0:19:41you shouldn't go swimming after eating cos it gives you cramp.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Right. Everyone knows that.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Oh...we might just have to postpone until tomorrow.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Well, if we're going to go tomorrow,
0:19:49 > 0:19:52we'll make sure it's a really tough workout.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Yeah, three hours distance training interspersed with sprints.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- And that'll burn an awful lot of calories.- Yeah.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- Reckon we should carb-load now? - That would be prudent.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Just to be on the safe side.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Can we have two cheesecake slices, two chocolate brownies
0:20:05 > 0:20:09- and two blueberry muffins, please? - And a Black Forest gateau.- Two.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10With cream.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13It's all right, we're going swimming tomorrow.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Oh, look, there are more power cookies.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21CHEERING
0:20:24 > 0:20:29Agh! Agh! Ref! Ref! Ref?!
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Sorry, what? I was miles away.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34- He just came at me with his studs up. - I never.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Sorry, I totally wasn't paying attention.- What?
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Is that a sparrowhawk? I think that's a sparrowhawk.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41You've got to be kidding!
0:20:41 > 0:20:44No, you're right, it's a goshawk, isn't it?
0:20:45 > 0:20:46Oh, well.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51- Now, what were you saying? Free kick, is it?- Yeah, but to who?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Well, obviously it's a free kick to... Oh, a heron.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Sorry, miss. I can't do PE today, I've got a note.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I've got an appointment at the orthodontist
0:21:10 > 0:21:13to get my brace tightened.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Yeah, miss, I can't do it either. My dad told me not to.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18I think it's something to do with politics.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24Hey, Chad Stevens here, showing you how to save time
0:21:24 > 0:21:26with my top time-saving tips.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29If time saving was a sport, I'd have a gold medal,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32and I'd have time to polish that medal,
0:21:32 > 0:21:34get fingerprints on it and polish it again.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Want to put your pyjamas on?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Save time in the morning -
0:21:44 > 0:21:47get your kids to sleep in their school uniform.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50When they wake up, they'll be ready to go learn.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Oh, I think I need a shower.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58Bonus tip - save time by not getting undressed.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- But I'll get wet.- Shhh! Time saved.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Job done!
0:22:06 > 0:22:09GASPING
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- Excuse me?- Yes.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- I've dropped my locker keys in the pool.- Well, go and get them.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22But it's in the deep end and I'm not a very good swimmer.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25So you just thought you'd come and ask me to do it. Is that it?
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Well...
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- HE LAUGHS - I don't believe I'm hearing this.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32For a start, I'd have to take off my sunglasses.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- I didn't think about that.- No.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37It doesn't sound like you do a lot of thinking, does it?
0:22:37 > 0:22:40- Can you get them?- Right.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Well, this is going to need re-ironing, isn't it?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46I just hope for your sake it's worth it.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49It's not really what we... Oh, whoops!
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Sorry about that, but whilst you're there,
0:22:52 > 0:22:56this little girl's just lost her locker keys. Would you mind?
0:22:56 > 0:22:57You're welcome.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06Believe you can win, and if you didn't win, believe you did.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Basically, just kid yourself.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11If you get athlete's foot, find out which athlete it belongs to
0:23:11 > 0:23:12and just give it back.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17CLOCK TICKS
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Yes! That's chess.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30The Australian team has been disqualified
0:23:30 > 0:23:32from the Basketball World Championships
0:23:32 > 0:23:35after it was discovered that five of their players
0:23:35 > 0:23:37were actually kangaroos.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39You may have heard about Jessica McAlister,
0:23:39 > 0:23:42the 17-year-old who is attempting to become
0:23:42 > 0:23:45the youngest woman to sail solo around the world.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Well, we have established a live link-up with her as she nears
0:23:48 > 0:23:52the end of her voyage, and I think we can go over to her live now.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Jessica...
0:23:54 > 0:23:55- # La la la la la, la... # - Jessica.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57# La la la, la La la la la, la... #
0:23:57 > 0:23:59- Jessica! - # La la la... #
0:24:00 > 0:24:04She doesn't seem to be able to hear us above all that music.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Jessica McAlister there, trying to become the youngest woman
0:24:08 > 0:24:12to sail solo around the world... with all her friends.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Are you boxing then? Thought so.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28The ring, the boxing gloves, the shorts.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31"That man..." I said, "..is boxing."
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Yeah, that's good, moving around.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Concentrate, you need to concentrate. And keep your guard up.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- Oh, and mind your shoelace!- Huh?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Sorry, sorry.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45I thought your shoelace was undone, but it's not, ignore me.
0:24:45 > 0:24:50- Shut up!- All right, calm down. You need to control your anger.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Oh, and mind your shoelace! Sorry, that was me again.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59I keep on thinking your shoelace is undone, but it's not.
0:24:59 > 0:25:05By the way, when he goes to hit you, try and dodge out of the way,
0:25:05 > 0:25:06that way you won't get hit.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Right.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11BOXER GROWLS Oh, my shoelace is undone!
0:25:11 > 0:25:14That could have caused a nasty accident.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Oh, dear, you've made a right fudge of that one, haven't you?
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- REFEREE:- One, two...
0:25:20 > 0:25:22BELL RINGS WHACK!
0:25:22 > 0:25:23CROWD CHEERS
0:25:23 > 0:25:30Hey there, congratulations, we're on my 3,000th time-saving tip. Awesome.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Save time and the environment. Don't shower, it's boring.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Wash your car and yourself together.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49See how easy it is to save time? And refreshing too!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- Don't forget to put conditioner on that.- I don't have a towel!
0:25:52 > 0:25:56No, but now he's got time to look for one.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Job done.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- WOMAN:- You're soaking wet, you're not coming in the house like that.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Get out.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Always play with a smile on your face,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10unless you're trying to get someone booked,
0:26:10 > 0:26:12then pretend to cry like you've been injured.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15How's that for perfect timing?
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Thought we were going to be in traffic for ages.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20- It's one minute till kick off. - This is it, son.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22I feel like I've been a United fan all my life,
0:26:22 > 0:26:24just waiting for this one game.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27The satellite fee is worth it for this match alone.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32- Is this the TV remote?- Wrong make. I think that's for the old telly.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- Right.- No, that's for the DVD player. It must be this one.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- MUSIC PLAYS BOTH:- Hi-fi.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Right.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41- No.- No.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43- No.- No.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45- TOY:- 'Orange.' - That's a toy.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47- BOTH:- No.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50It will have started! I'm telling you, it's started!
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Don't panic. We can try turning it on, ON the machine.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Yes, we can. Brilliant!
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Where are the buttons?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- They've hidden the buttons, why have they hidden the buttons?- Dad.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Yes, brilliant.
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Well done, son.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- Oh, hang on a minute, we need the satellite remote.- Oh!
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Oh, are you not watching the match?
0:27:16 > 0:27:19If you're not, do you mind if I watch the soap omnibus?
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- EASTENDERS THEME PLAYS ON TV BOTH:- Oh!
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd