0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hello, this is the Fit O'clock News. Our top stories today...
0:00:35 > 0:00:39There's confusion at the World Ice Skating Championships
0:00:39 > 0:00:41in London as Russian Sergei Laruzenko
0:00:41 > 0:00:43comes to the end of his routine.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Have you finished yet?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50UK Athletics says Britain's top sprinter
0:00:50 > 0:00:54could soon catch Usain Bolt, now they've given him a new coach
0:00:54 > 0:00:55and a motorbike.
0:00:55 > 0:00:56And, in a desperate attempt
0:00:56 > 0:00:59to get kids to eat five fruit and veg a day,
0:00:59 > 0:01:01the Government have called in the Army.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05We can now go over to our Health Correspondent, Patricia Johnson.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Thank you. I'm here with Lance Corporal Roberts
0:01:08 > 0:01:11of the Royal Fusiliers. Can you explain the new initiative?
0:01:11 > 0:01:15It's simple, really. The Government have found some kids
0:01:15 > 0:01:17aren't keen on fruit and veg.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20It's fallen to us to propel it into their systems some other way.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24- We'll fire it into them, using rocket launchers.- Loading...
0:01:24 > 0:01:26clear... fire!
0:01:26 > 0:01:28SPLAT
0:01:28 > 0:01:30They may not want to eat what's good for them,
0:01:30 > 0:01:34but this new technique leaves them with little choice.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36This scheme is currently only being used here
0:01:36 > 0:01:39at Saint Luke's Primary School in Cheshire.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42If successful, it will be used all over the country.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Earlier, I spoke to one of the school pupils.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48So, do you think this new scheme is a good idea?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50MUMBLES
0:01:50 > 0:01:53But not everyone is so happy.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Fruit and vegetables are good for you,
0:01:55 > 0:01:58if they're not shot at you upwards of 100 miles an hour.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01My boy had to go to hospital to have a carrot removed.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05Have you got anything to say about last week's carrot incident?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08It's not my fault. The boy turned and ran like a little chicken.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Potatoes are starchy foods
0:02:10 > 0:02:13and don't count towards your five-a-day. What were you thinking?
0:02:13 > 0:02:15- Won't happen again, sir.- Yes.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17As you know, this is only a pilot scheme,
0:02:17 > 0:02:20we take on board concerns about harder fruits and vegetables.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Coconuts are off the list
0:02:22 > 0:02:28and we are not experimenting with some softer items, like mushy peas.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- SPLAT - Good shot, lad.- Thank you, sir!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Fire!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33SPLAT
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Back to the studio.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37GLASS SMASHING
0:02:37 > 0:02:38Sorry!
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Oi, oi, oi! What was that?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46What? I took it past him, didn't I?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Did he or did he not make contact with you?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Er, yes, I think he clipped me.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- Did you Smithy? - I might have, I'm not sure.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56You should've gone down, you're a Premiership football player.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58You're supposed to be setting a bad example.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Sorry, gaffer. - Let's try that tackle again,
0:03:01 > 0:03:04and this time, I want you to dive on to the pitch
0:03:04 > 0:03:06as if you're a proper professional.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11AAARGH!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13My head! My arm!
0:03:13 > 0:03:16My leg! My other leg! My feet!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18The toes on my feet! My eyes!
0:03:18 > 0:03:22Good, now gesture to the bench as if you can't go on...
0:03:22 > 0:03:25That's a red card for the other player, he's off.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- And I feel fine again.- Textbook.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30That is exactly the kind of un-gentlemanly
0:03:30 > 0:03:33and pathetic behaviour I want to see from you on Saturday.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Smithy, what have I told you about swallowing your own spit?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Er...- Imagine it's Saturday,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42all the cameras are on you, lad.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44I need you to set a bad example.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49SPITS That's more like it.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- Reevsy, have you just wiped your nose on your arm?- Yes.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Am I wasting my time here?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Snot rocket, please!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58HE SNIFFS
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Sorry, Miss. I can't do football today.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I put my back out playing last week so I've got to stay lying down.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Yeah, miss. I can't do it either,
0:04:10 > 0:04:11I've hurt my hair.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Yes, it's really sore. Ow.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18DISTANT CHEERING
0:04:39 > 0:04:41BRONZE MEDALLIST WHIMPERS
0:04:41 > 0:04:43SHE CRIES
0:05:11 > 0:05:12SHE CRIES
0:05:16 > 0:05:17SHE SNIFFLES AND CRIES
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Excuse me, I've got a one o'clock appointment.- Oh!
0:05:32 > 0:05:35You gave me a fright. I didn't hear anyone come in.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Sorry. Um, I've got a one o'clock appointment with Jasper.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Jasper is the best, THE BEST. I don't let anyone else do my hair.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- What's your name? Have you been here before?- No.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I'm just here for a trim. The name's Jason.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Jason?- Er, Jason Williams.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53There's yours, two sugars.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- Are you being taken care of?- What?
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- It's all right, Linda. I'm booking him in with Jasper.- Oh...
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Jasper's the best. He's changed my life.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- So what are you having done? - Just a trim, nothing too out there.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09What have you done? I look ridiculous.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10I've got to go to work now.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I look like my grandad.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14He'll learn to love it.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Jasper, this is your one o'clock.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19You!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Hello.- Listen to this.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22BIRDS SQUAWKING
0:06:22 > 0:06:25There are actual birds living in my hair.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Amazing.- Are you insane?
0:06:27 > 0:06:31I've been chased down the road by cats and my boyfriend has left me.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34You'll learn to love it.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Send her the bill for the extra birdies, 500.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Now, where's my next victim, er, customer?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Has he cancelled?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Send him the bill, 500.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48500.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18Excuse me. I bought this from you yesterday and I want my money back.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- Is it broken?- I'll say it's broken.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23I tried to ride it home and it wouldn't move an inch.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Look, I'll show you.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29See what I mean? What do you have to say about that?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32I thought it was the brakes, but it hasn't even got any.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Did you know about this before you sold it?
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- Well, yes sir. - Unbelievable. Absolutely brazen.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Sir, we can't give you a refund,
0:07:40 > 0:07:44but if you want, we can exchange it for another product.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Huh...
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Right, I'll take that rowing boat.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51But if I get it to a lake and find that it leaks,
0:07:51 > 0:07:53I will have you fired.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59I remember when my whole body was covered in plasters.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02I hadn't hurt myself. I'd just been swimming in the pool.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05I used to do loads of boxing, but then I got worried
0:08:05 > 0:08:08that getting hit in the head was bad for me health.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11I used to do loads of boxing, but then I got worried
0:08:11 > 0:08:14that getting hit in the head was bad for me health.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15I used to...
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Yeah, I injured my shoulder really badly playing squash,
0:08:17 > 0:08:20so now I can only raise my arm up to shoulder height.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23But I used to be able to raise it all the way up to there.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31- OK, guys, are you ready for your first jump?- Yeah.- Yeah.- Excited?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- A bit nervous.- Oh, don't be nervous.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37If you follow the rules, skydiving is one of the safest sports
0:08:37 > 0:08:41in the world. Which reminds me, I forgot earlier to mention something.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43One very important rule...
0:08:43 > 0:08:45HE OPENS DOOR When you open the para...
0:08:45 > 0:08:49HOWLING WIND DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:09:02 > 0:09:03OK?
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Don't be scared, just go. Just go.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Just go. Come on. Go, go, go, go, go.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17WIND HOWLS See you down there! Enjoy!
0:09:38 > 0:09:42The Misspelt Games!
0:09:42 > 0:09:46You join us now for an event that blends athleticism with poise,
0:09:46 > 0:09:48the synchronised slimming.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51The French team have been slimming together for years,
0:09:51 > 0:09:53lovely synchronised warm-up, moving as one.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- We're ready to go.- Three, two one. - And the slimmers are away.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59It's a classic opening, refusing the burger.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Assange in the near lane slightly out of sync, must be the pressure,
0:10:02 > 0:10:03He'll lose points for that.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06And it's on to a quick step class workout.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09I hope we don't see a repeat of the Russian performance.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Oh, no, the French know not to sit down.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13A little calorie-burning jog.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16And let's see how they do at the compulsory celery stage.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20With low-fat cottage cheese dip. Still perfectly synchronised.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Beautiful end to the routine. They'll be happy with that.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24But here comes the moment of truth.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Oh...
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Oh, what a shame.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31But the tape doesn't lie, they're no slimmer than they were at the start.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Well, I bet they wish they'd had that burger now.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Good evening, sir, what can I get you?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Hello, I'd like something really annoying, please.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49OK, well, these sweet wrappers are pretty noisy.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Yeah, they're pretty noisy but I'm looking for something
0:10:51 > 0:10:54that will really ruin my fellow cinema goers' whole
0:10:54 > 0:10:55movie-watching experience.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Well, how about this unnecessarily large cup of ice
0:10:58 > 0:11:02with some fizzy drink in it? It rattles and it comes with a straw.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03SLURPING
0:11:03 > 0:11:06That's sure to cut through those quieter scenes.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- Yeah, one of those, please. - Mildly annoying or really annoying?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- Really annoying.- Popcorn?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14No, popcorn's not very noisy, is it?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Well, if you get one of our medium size tubs you can pass it
0:11:16 > 0:11:18back and forth between you and your friends
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- thus blocking the view of people behind you.- Yeah, all right then.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- Nachos?- No, I don't think so. - They're pretty stinky.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Hmm...
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Yeah, all right, one of those, please.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31Excuse me, are you going to take much longer? My film's starting.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Sorry, I'm not quite finished. Annoying, isn't it?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36All right, sir, that'll be £79.99.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39I've only got coins, I'm afraid.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41COINS JANGLE
0:12:00 > 0:12:02And that is why Britain joined the...
0:12:02 > 0:12:04BELL RINGS
0:12:04 > 0:12:06OK, remember, homework in tomorrow, no exceptions,
0:12:06 > 0:12:08no copying it off the internet.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10I'm looking at you, Neville Peterson.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Quite a lesson, Mr Turner.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16It looked like you were in danger of losing them
0:12:16 > 0:12:19a bit there with the causes of the First World War.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Well, to be fair, it is quite complicated. But I think
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I successfully covered up the fact that I don't understand it myself.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Overall, I'm pleased with the result.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29And what about that incident at the halfway point?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Yes, the young Mitchell lad was trying to pass a note to Sharon.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Actually, I think we can take a quick look at that.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Yes, I'm writing on the whiteboard at this point.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39He thinks he's got a clear run.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41It's like a sixth sense, I felt something was up.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I turn and I catch them red-handed.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44What was in the note?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47It was about myself and quite personal in nature
0:12:47 > 0:12:49and I do not wish to discuss it at this point.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Fair play. Now you've got 3S coming up, notoriously tricky customers.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55It's just another lesson as far as I'm concerned, the trick is
0:12:55 > 0:12:57to get stuck in, hand out one detention
0:12:57 > 0:12:59within the first two minutes.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Well, good luck with that. Thank you, Mr Turner.- Cheers.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08WHISTLE BLOWS
0:13:08 > 0:13:14It's 1,000 BC, the mystic East.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18Oriental men are busy inventing dozens of fighting techniques
0:13:18 > 0:13:21that will come to be known as martial arts.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Now the year is 2,000 no hundred and 12.
0:13:25 > 0:13:30And I, Brian Butterfield, have fused all these techniques together
0:13:30 > 0:13:32into one to create...
0:13:32 > 0:13:34butter-fu.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38From taekwondo, one millimeter punch.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Hai!
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Ow.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44From karate, double roundhouse.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Hai!
0:13:47 > 0:13:51From sumo, the one hundred hand slap.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Arrrgggh!
0:13:54 > 0:13:56One, two,
0:13:56 > 0:13:59three, four, five. Sorry.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02From soap operas, the hair pull.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Sorry.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09From the playground, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Brian.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Hai! Sorry.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20Butter-fu is THE martial art.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Haaaaa....
0:14:25 > 0:14:27douken!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- Oi!- Sorry.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Kuru-mahoya!
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Whatever that means.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36New from 202020 Entertainment...
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Do you want calves like this,
0:14:38 > 0:14:40biceps like this
0:14:40 > 0:14:41and abs like this?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Yes, you really can have the body of a darts player
0:14:44 > 0:14:47with Diamond Dave Delaney's Darts Workout.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51OK now, aim the darts and throw the darts.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53'Darts gave me the body I have today.'
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Follow my darts workout, you could have it too.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Walk to the board,
0:14:58 > 0:15:01collect those darts and walk back
0:15:01 > 0:15:02and have a nice sit down.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05'It's the only exercise DVD that really works.'
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Just ask some of my satisfied clientele.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Darts Workout really gets results.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13In just 12 weeks it turned me from this
0:15:13 > 0:15:14to this.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Let's try some combinations. And throw,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20and throw, and throw, and walk.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Order today and each copy comes with your very own
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Dave Delaney's Darts Workout T-shirt,
0:15:25 > 0:15:27XXL size only.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31And a free exercise pie, containing all the pie vitamins
0:15:31 > 0:15:35and gravy energy you need to play a game of darts.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Plus, order right this very second
0:15:37 > 0:15:40and we'll throw in our follow-up DVD, Snookercise,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43the snooker-based fitness regime that works almost all
0:15:43 > 0:15:45of the muscles in one of your arms.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Buy Dave Delaney's Darts Workout DVD today.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50No pain, plenty of gain.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54And darts yourself to the body you've always dreamed of.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Right, I think that's enough of that.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00We done at least five minutes, let's call it a day.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01I'll see you all next month.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10It's been a lovely day, Ben.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Such a great idea to go for a picnic on our bicycles.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14My pleasure. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16We should probably get going though, actually.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Ben, I think you've got a flat tyre.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Oh, don't worry about that, that's just a slow puncture.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24A quick pump of air and that'll be good to go.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Pffft!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Is everything OK?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Yeah, it's just the pump.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38It's an old pump
0:16:38 > 0:16:40so it makes a few funny noises.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Of course.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46Pfft! Pfft! Pffft!
0:16:46 > 0:16:50Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfffft.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Pfffft, pffft.
0:16:59 > 0:17:05Pffft. Pffft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Pfffffft.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13What a noisy pump.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Well, that should do it, ready to go? Sure.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Is that still the pump? - It's the... It's the helmet.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Pfft.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30That's the saddle.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Pfft.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Ha, it's very...very boggy.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Pfft, pfft.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Do you recognise that bird call?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Pffft.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43I think my shoes, they're just a little bit loose.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Pffft.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48My phone's just gone off, it's a new ringtone.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Sorry, Miss, I can't do fitness today,
0:17:54 > 0:17:56I've got a hospital appointment about my knee.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Yeah, Miss, I can't do it either,
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I got no sleep because our house got stolen and we were
0:18:02 > 0:18:06waiting at the police station all night waiting for them to find it.
0:18:08 > 0:18:13I'm here in the marshy forests of Northeast Siberia.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16It's one of the harshest and most unforgiving places
0:18:16 > 0:18:18on the surface of the planet.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20But, unbelievably, it's here that
0:18:20 > 0:18:22the reindeer-herding Pan-whack people
0:18:22 > 0:18:24have lived for thousands of years.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26It may not look like there's a lot to eat here,
0:18:26 > 0:18:28but you just need to know where to look.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35This is the dala root. It's highly nutritious.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Unfortunately it's inedible,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40until you've eaten it and sicked it up several times,
0:18:40 > 0:18:42and then it tastes like liquorice
0:18:42 > 0:18:44and sick, obviously.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46These are chuck berries.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48These beauties could save your life.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50If you can eat three tons of these,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53you can survive for an entire day or so.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57They smell like wet dogs, but they taste...
0:18:58 > 0:19:00..much, much worse.
0:19:01 > 0:19:06The bulk of the Pan-whack's nutrition comes from a single plant.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10It thrives here at the base of these Siberian elms.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13The fruit grows in pods at the end of these vines.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18Here inside the pod
0:19:18 > 0:19:22is a soft, chewy fruit with a subtle cheddary flavour
0:19:22 > 0:19:25that makes it seem like a natural cheeseburger.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Here goes.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Urgh.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Yeah, that's a bad one.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38It's got gherkins in it, disgusting.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Wow!
0:19:45 > 0:19:49'So here we are at the women's 100 metre, unheated pool freestyle.'
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- On your mark.- 'And we're under starter's orders.'- Set.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53CLAXON HONKS
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Oh!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Oh, oh, oh!
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Aargh! Oh!
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Oh, oh, oh!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Oh, ah!
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Oh! Oh!
0:20:21 > 0:20:25'Tom and Harry are two brothers who in many ways are just like
0:20:25 > 0:20:27'any other teenage boys.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30'They go to school, they play games,
0:20:30 > 0:20:32'they have girlfriends.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36'But Tom and Harry have a dream, a dream they're determined to fulfil.'
0:20:36 > 0:20:38We want to be in the Olympics.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Yeah, it's our dream, innit?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43I'll never forget when Harry came in and he said, "Mum, me and Tom
0:20:43 > 0:20:45"will be in those Olympics."
0:20:45 > 0:20:48And when was that exactly?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- It must have been Monday. - Monday, yeah.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51'They'll do it though.'
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- 'Oh, yeah, they'll do it.' - 'It's all they've ever wanted.'
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Yeah, well, since Monday.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58So, which sport are you planning to take part in?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Er... Umm...
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- Of course, they've never done any sport in their life.- Oh, no.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05They hate sport, don't they?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07'But with the Olympics fast approaching,
0:21:07 > 0:21:11'they have to decide which sport they want to compete in and fast.'
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I'm not quite sure what I want to go for.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18- There's running or jumping or horses. Or rowing?- Rowing?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Yeah, rowing. It's on the list of Olympic sports.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24No stupid, it's ROWing on a river.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- No, it's rowing, like what we're doing now.- It's not!
0:21:26 > 0:21:30- It's ROWing, the wet one with sticks in a boat.- Are you sure?
0:21:30 > 0:21:33We'll be rubbish at that, then, won't we?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- It doesn't matter anyway. I've chosen what we're doing.- You have?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38We're doing walking.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39I think they're better at sitting
0:21:39 > 0:21:42but that's not an Olympic sport, so walking it is.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45'Tom and Harry have arranged to join up with some race walkers
0:21:45 > 0:21:47'who are training in their local area.'
0:21:47 > 0:21:49We would have walked here but we didn't want to do
0:21:49 > 0:21:53all our training before we started, so Dad gave us a lift.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Oh, look, here come the walkers now.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Oi, slow down!
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Oh, my shoelace is undone.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Oh, no. Better give up, then.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Couldn't do their silly bum wiggle anyway.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11'Next week, the Olympic dream continues.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13'Tom and Harry give up on race walking
0:22:13 > 0:22:15'and decide to train for the swimming.'
0:22:15 > 0:22:1619, 20.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Oh right, that's 20 lengths,
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I'm done for the day.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26WHISTLING
0:22:41 > 0:22:43MICROWAVE PINGS
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Girls, over here, give us a smile. Any advice for any girls out there
0:22:55 > 0:22:57who want to be footballers' wives like you?
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Always make sure you look really tanned, really sparkly
0:23:00 > 0:23:02and you've got a dog you can fit in a handbag.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Great result for City this weekend. How are you going to celebrate?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Oh, Mike's going to buy me a diamond-encrusted phone case,
0:23:08 > 0:23:12a diamond-encrusted bag for me dog and a diamond-encrusted diamond.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Suze, how do you feel about Caesar's upcoming transfer to Barcelona?
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Well, Spain, like many Eurozone countries,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22is staring straight into a financial abyss,
0:23:22 > 0:23:25but with an economy that's too big to allow to fail.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29If big, successful, international interests like football
0:23:29 > 0:23:31can continue bringing money into the country,
0:23:31 > 0:23:35then Caesar and I are just too pleased to support it.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42I mean, I'll get a nice tan in Spain
0:23:42 > 0:23:44and I'll buy a diamond-encrusted bikini.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I am so sorry.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51CAMERAS CLICK
0:23:53 > 0:23:55My worst sporting injury?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Well, I once choked on an energy bar.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59When I went running, I fell down some steps
0:23:59 > 0:24:01and I broke two legs and three arms.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05That's the last time I run a marathon dressed as an octopus.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Jessie, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13You're the light of my life, the fire in my heart
0:24:13 > 0:24:14and I hope we'll always be together.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18APPLAUSE
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Now the bride and groom will cut the cake.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Can I get a picture of the bride and groom with the cake?
0:24:27 > 0:24:28THEY LAUGH
0:24:34 > 0:24:35- Hang on.- What?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37You've given yourself the bigger bit.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- No, I haven't.- Yes, you have. - I haven't.- You have.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Look, your piece is at least a finger bigger than mine.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44- It isn't.- It is.- It isn't.- Is.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50What? You got all the little silver balls, look.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- So?- Well, it's the principle.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56If you're having the silver balls, I'm having the marzipan decorations.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Well, you'll have to be quick!
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Smile.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06That's...lovely.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29GASPING
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Sarah? Look at you, you look fantastic!
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- Oh, thanks, Karen! - What's your secret?
0:26:37 > 0:26:38You on some new exercise regime?
0:26:38 > 0:26:40I've got this new personal trainer,
0:26:40 > 0:26:42he's the most amazing motivator.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Look, here he is now. Woo, Des!
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Grrr...
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Aaargh, it's a zombie! Aaargh!
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Yeah, I know. Thing is, he's not just any old zombie,
0:26:51 > 0:26:54he's flesh-eating, which personally I find really motivating.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57He makes you exercise like your life depends on it,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59which of course it does.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01THEY SCREAM
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Oh, hold on a sec. He's stopped to have a stretch.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- Oh, thank heavens for that.- The living dead, they get a bit stiff.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14He's very flexible though. Look, he can touch his toes.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Eurgh! Oh!
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Oh, we're off again.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21THEY SCREAM
0:27:21 > 0:27:24The really amazing thing is, no matter how slow he moves,
0:27:24 > 0:27:28no matter how fast we run, he always somehow keeps up with you.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29That's zombies for you.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31- Grr...- Aaargh!
0:27:36 > 0:27:37That's odd, he's gone.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- Aaargh!- Ah!
0:27:40 > 0:27:41WATCH BEEPS
0:27:41 > 0:27:42Hour up.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Yeah, OK, same time next week, yeah?
0:27:45 > 0:27:46My card.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd