0:00:32 > 0:00:34Hello, this is the FIT o'clock news.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Our top stories today...
0:00:35 > 0:00:38After 21 days of cycling
0:00:38 > 0:00:41and over 3,000 kilometres in the saddle, the Italian champion
0:00:41 > 0:00:45is determined to finish the Tour de France despite a sore bottom.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51A three-legged race in Winchester had to be abandoned as organisers
0:00:51 > 0:00:54were unable to find enough children with three legs.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57And now we go live to Patricia Johnson,
0:00:57 > 0:01:01who's witnessing sporting history in the making.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Yes, and you join us here
0:01:02 > 0:01:05at Riverside Arena for this landmark bout.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08This is the very first ever fight of its kind.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12In the blue corner, Harry "The Hammer" Claplam.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17In the red corner, Ricky "The Rock" Robertson.
0:01:17 > 0:01:23And in the white corner, Dennis "The Power" Smith.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Let's get ready to rumble!
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Here we go, the first ever three-man boxing match.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32This should be interesting.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01CROWD CHEERS
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Well, I think we can all say without a doubt,
0:02:04 > 0:02:06that that didn't really work, did it?
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Back to the studio.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Can I have your attention, please, everybody?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Everybody?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23SHE BURPS LOUDLY
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Right, I've got some bad news.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Cola Corps' profits are down, again.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I know you won't want to hear this... SHE BURPS
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- but I'm going to have to let one of you go.- What?
0:02:34 > 0:02:35- No, that... - BURP
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I'm sorry, but the only way to save this kind of money
0:02:37 > 0:02:40will be to stop giving out free cola in the office.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42We're drinking 64 cans of cola everyday.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45It's costing a fortune. BURP
0:02:45 > 0:02:48So it's either tap water in the office,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50or one of you gets the chop.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52HE BURPS
0:02:52 > 0:02:53If it wasn't for free cola,
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- this job would be a pain in the... - BURPS
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Yeah, we don't want to give up drinking our cola.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59BURPS
0:02:59 > 0:03:03BURP I know what you mean.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- So we're all agreed?- Yeah.- Yep. - BURPS
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Maggie, I'm sorry, you're...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11- BURPS ..out of here.- What?!
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Well, you know what I think of that, don't you?
0:03:14 > 0:03:15SHE FARTS
0:03:17 > 0:03:20She didn't really...
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- BURPS - ..fit in, did she?
0:03:22 > 0:03:23No.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Sorry!
0:03:27 > 0:03:30With City 2-0 down here and only 20 minutes to go,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33the manager must be thinking of making a change any time now, John?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Well, you could well be right there.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38There's Romney warming up. He can't wait to get out onto the pitch.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- Kenny?- Yes, boss?- Tell Steve to get warmed up, I'm bringing him on.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Yes, boss.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28So, we've got javelin throwing, right?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31What about javelin catching, like?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33I'd watch that for sure.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I think musicals should be made into an Olympic sport.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38But I don't want to make a song and dance about it.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Hi. I've got a session on the climbing wall.- Fine, go on home.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48- I'll tell everyone you did it. - What? No, I want to do it.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Why? There's nothing up there.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52It's not a real mountain. There's no view.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Yes, but I guess I kind of enjoy the challenge.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Try fitting a bag of marshmallows into your mouth, that's a challenge.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00I want to climb the wall.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Well you should try working here for six hours without a break.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05That WOULD make you climb a wall. Ha-ha-ha!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07OK, uh, look, I'm climbing a mountain in a couple of months
0:05:07 > 0:05:08and I need to practise.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11You're climbing an actual mountain? Why?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14You're just going to have to climb back down again.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17It's for Sport Relief. I want to know what it would be like,
0:05:17 > 0:05:19and I don't want to let my sponsors down.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21You want to know what it would be like to climb a mountain?
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Yes.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Whoa!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Sit still until the air ambulance gets here!
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I'm not going to leave you!
0:05:40 > 0:05:42I'd like to go climb the wall now.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Fine! £4.20.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Honestly, there's no helping some people.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Hiya.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33You going my way?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Have to, mate.- Fair enough.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41# I am the new model
0:06:43 > 0:06:45# I am the new model. #
0:06:48 > 0:06:50The New Model.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Our up-and-coming models are discussing
0:06:52 > 0:06:54their gruelling day in front of the cameras.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56You're not going to finish your drink?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I've been drinking water all morning.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Studio lights can make you so thirsty.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03No, I was doing an advert for bottled water.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04So it was a nightmare.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I had to do bottle work.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Oh, I haven't done that since modelling college.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Me neither. I mean, it's on my CV,
0:07:11 > 0:07:14but you just don't expect to have it sprung on you.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15I don't think you'd remember any of it.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I was all right with the picking up the bottle and drinking from it.
0:07:18 > 0:07:23But then, I had to do putting the bottle back down afterwards.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Are you joking? Advanced work!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- I hope you're getting paid extra. - So do I.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30I also had to do a full range of faces.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Looking into the distance...
0:07:32 > 0:07:34excited...
0:07:34 > 0:07:35happy...thirsty...
0:07:35 > 0:07:37not thirsty any more.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- All of those while holding a bottle?- Yes.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42And before I drank out of it,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- I had to take the lid off.- What?!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- There wasn't someone to take the lid off for you?- No!
0:07:48 > 0:07:52- You're gonna need, like, a week off. - I'm off to the Bahamas on Friday.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56- Oh, well that will be a nice break. - You're joking? I'm working.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00So I've got to do ice-lolly work. And, a full range of faces.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Hot...
0:08:01 > 0:08:02excited...
0:08:02 > 0:08:03refreshed.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05And my agent called me this morning
0:08:05 > 0:08:09and said they're going to want me to do beach-sitting work, too.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- No!- I mean, I did level one beach-sitting work at college,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15but if they want me to do holding-a-magazine work as well,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17they can forget it.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20It is a joke, babes. You should so fire your agent.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Don't worry, I'm going to.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26- When I find out who he is.- Great.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16Sorry, miss, I can't do hockey today. I've got a note.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17I had an asthma attack.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Yeah, miss. I can't do it either.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22I'm a croissant.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Hi. I'm looking for some sportswear.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Looks like you're in the right place, this is a sports shop.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Can you recommend anything?- Uh...
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Very absorbent, this.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Good. I'm bound to sweat a lot.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44- Planning on having a curry, are you? - No, I need it to go running.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46You know, running?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Running? In the park?
0:09:48 > 0:09:53- No, I never heard of it. What is it, a computer game?- Not really.- Oh.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Now, these are good if you spill Coke, or ketchup. They wipe clean.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58That's if you're bothered about stains.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I wasn't planning on eating in them.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Oh, you'll get hungry.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04I always do after a couple of hours on the beanbag.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06You don't want to have to get up and miss the adverts.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09These pockets are great for stuffing with snacks.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Have you got any sportswear for actual sports, though?
0:10:12 > 0:10:18Yes! This is a rip tide, extreme performance sports jersey. Look.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- What sports do you do in that? - Oh, usual ones.
0:10:21 > 0:10:26- Uh, sitting, sleeping, watching TV. - Those aren't sports, though.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- Watching TV when sports on is. - No, it isn't.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Don't judge me just because you're weird.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34- Aren't you worried about your weight? - No.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Elasticated waist.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40That's the great thing about sportswear. You can grow into it.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- I'm gonna find a proper running shop. - Oh, right.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45There's one a couple of doors up. Do you want me to call you a cab?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47No.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Suit yourself.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57Being annoying should be made an Olympic sport.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59And the person who's the most annoying would win it.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03For being really annoying. Not just annoying, really annoying.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06You know the sort of people, go on and on about the same thing,
0:11:06 > 0:11:08over and over again.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Yeah, that'd be good.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13It would be a bit annoying, but it would be good.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20For 30 years, top chef Jean-Paul Scoffier
0:11:20 > 0:11:22has inspired the world with his cooking.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26Now, at last, he shares some of his kitchen secrets.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30This week, healthy puddings.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Et bien. The healthy puddings. Allons-y.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Zis is absolute mon bon voyage.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Ratatouille. Frere Jacques.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43Maintenant un petit peu de Zinedine Zidane.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48And, my old Mardi Gras, Notre Dame de Pepe le Pew.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Zis your minky? Bonjour, la classe.
0:11:53 > 0:11:58And ze finishing touch for ze healthy puddings...
0:11:58 > 0:12:00au revoir.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02How you say in English,
0:12:02 > 0:12:05apples and pears...stairs.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16We all want to exercise, but does it have to be so hard?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I am worn out!
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Well, now you don't need to be.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24That's better!
0:12:24 > 0:12:26The new exercise motorbike from Honduki.
0:12:26 > 0:12:280-60 in 3.5 seconds.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31I used to struggle to do one mile a day.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Now I do 80 miles before breakfast!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Just relax and let the machine take the strain.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39It's easy. I don't even break a sweat.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Plus, buy the exercise motorbike now,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44and get this exercise motorboat half price!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Working out has never been such fun!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50So join the Honduki exercise revolution now.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Are you feeling exhausted?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Stressed? Tired?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Or simply are a bit lazy?
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Then come and relax at the Butterfield Spa!
0:13:05 > 0:13:08My spa has so many different treatments.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13It's almost impossible to count them all.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Five.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20We have a strict non-nakedness policy to ensure you and me
0:13:20 > 0:13:24do not get embarrassed whilst you're having your treatments.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I promise I won't look.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Sit back and relax at our state-of-the-art sorena.
0:13:33 > 0:13:39And, while you're here, help yourself to a bowl of complimentary hot soup.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Ah. All the more for moi.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Don't worry, I'm a complete professional.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50I'll just choose the right...ow.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Ow!
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Ow!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Om.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00And introducing...
0:14:02 > 0:14:06For just £10, you can relax underneath this beauty balm.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Clinically proven by me to rejuvenate tired skin.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Can you hear me? I'm just about to put some more on.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16But please, whatever you do, don't eat any.
0:14:16 > 0:14:21I got it from a farm and I'm not sure which animal it belongs to.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25And then it's just a visit to our deluxe shower rooms,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28to leave you feeling completely refreshed.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Oh! Freezing!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34The Butterfield Spa.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35Call now!
0:14:44 > 0:14:48(OK, we've got about five minutes left.)
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- (SHOUTS) Has anyone seen my ball? - (What's going on?)
0:14:51 > 0:14:56Sliced it off the tee, in here somewhere. Oh, sorry to disturb.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59You can't be in here, we're in the middle of an exam.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I'm supposed to be on the fairway. I think it's my grip.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Too tight, I think.- Your ball's not in here. We're in an exam.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Oh, there he is. OK.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10I need to play it from where it lands.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Would you mind?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Thanks ever so much.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Hm, not a bad lie. What do you think?
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Take a five iron?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Please can you leave?- Two secs.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Actually, would you mind?
0:15:25 > 0:15:28You're in my line. Sorry to be a pest.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31- Don't lose focus.- It's very hard to focus when you keep on talking.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Now, please, a bit of quiet?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- Oh, towed it that time. - MAN SHRIEKS IN PAIN
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Oh, sorry, Mister...what's his name?
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- That's our headmaster.- Oh, dear.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47- Sorry, Headmaster.- Oh, ow!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Let's just forget about that, kids.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Um, I'm going to give you an extra five minutes.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Don't lose your concentration.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58GLASS SMASHES
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Sorry! Sorry!
0:16:04 > 0:16:05Oh!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Thank you.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30It's a new day in the Humiliating Bodies Clinic.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Doctor Steve is getting ready for his first patient.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35You learn to come to work prepared for anything.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38I mean, who knows what today might bring?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Somebody so overweight they have to be lifted by a crane?
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Someone so small you need a microscope to see them?
0:16:43 > 0:16:47Someone with extra limbs? Or extra heads!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Actually, that would be brilliant.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Can we get somebody with extra heads?
0:16:51 > 0:16:55First in to see Doctor Steve is Jane.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Please, don't worry.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Your embarrassing problem will remain a secret between you, me,
0:16:59 > 0:17:01and the watching public.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05- I've got a growth. In the middle of my forehead.- Brilliant.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- That's a spot.- No, it's hideous.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I'll never go out again!
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Is she the best we could get?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Next in to see Doctor Steve is Alan.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Tell me you've got some grotesque disfigurement.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Well, yes. Yes, I have.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26- Amazing. Let's see it. - I hope you've got a strong stomach.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30Look at that hideous blue mark.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Is there anything you can do to help?- That's a bruise.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36It's just a bruise. Get out.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Get out now or you'll be getting another one.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Can't we get somebody gross?
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Last week we had that guy with the three buttocks.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Doctor Steve's next patient is Samantha.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Right. What can I do for you?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53I've got one arm that's longer than the other.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Really? How much longer? A metre? Two metres?
0:17:57 > 0:17:59I think we've got a live one!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Let's see the monster!
0:18:01 > 0:18:05- See?- Right. You're just holding your arms in different positions.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Anyone can do that. I can do that.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- Look.- I'm not alone!
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Oh, thank you, Doctor Steve.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Right. Yeah, whatever.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Just get out and stop wasting my time.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Wait! Come back!
0:18:21 > 0:18:22She's got a tail!
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Huh?
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Let's play.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Kenny?
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Kenny?
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Where's Kenny?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Right. On second thoughts, I'll bring you on instead, Steve.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28You join us this afternoon at the Stingray Memorial Aquatic Centre
0:19:28 > 0:19:32for the second quarter final of the men's waiter polo.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34And it's Italy versus USA today.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Both nations known for their excellent restaurant staff.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41And this lot are no exception. There's Italy's star number three.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45Gianni, from Cafe Rigoletto, known for his excellent espressos.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48And on the other side there's the formidable number six.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Billy Bob from Hoakum's Hog Rack.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53A man who can hold seven full plates at once, they say.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56And the regulation temperature for waiter polo water
0:19:56 > 0:19:59is, of course, tepid, to avoid any unwanted blanching.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01And they've had their starters ordered...
0:20:01 > 0:20:03BLOWS WHISTLE
0:20:03 > 0:20:04And they're off!
0:20:04 > 0:20:08The American making a very quick start with his plate of snails.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10The sport of delivering food through water
0:20:10 > 0:20:12has its origins, of course, in Venice.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16But will the Italians win? Is waiter polo coming home?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Oh, no! Most emphatically not!
0:20:19 > 0:20:23Lorenzo from Pizzeria-Smarelda has dropped his antipasti in the water!
0:20:23 > 0:20:27- That's going to cost him ten penalty points.- And most likely his tip.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Oh! Will you look at that? Someone's thrown a ball into the pool!
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Quite unnecessary. There's no place for that in waiter polo!
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Well, the Americans take top table.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38But the Italians - a very soggy second.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Help! Help!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- Help!- Help!
0:22:07 > 0:22:10# Happy birthday to you! #
0:22:10 > 0:22:13ALL: Hooray!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- That your birthday cake?- Yeah.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- Oh, did Karen make it especially for you?- Yeah.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19- Looks lovely.- Yeah.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Pity it's so bad for you.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- It's just cake. - Yeah, but it's so bad for you.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24What are you having?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26I'm having an organic gluten-free snack
0:22:26 > 0:22:29with reconstituted seaweed and leaf moss capsules.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32And then just a load of cauliflower.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33Mmm(!)
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Sure you don't want a bit of cake?
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Oh, I'd love to, but I can't. So bad for you. So bad!
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Why, what does it do?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Couldn't tell you. It would ruin your birthday.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48It inflates your body like a balloon and then your skin turns to slime.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- What?- And then the slime turns to glue and you get stuck,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53no matter where you are, even if you're on the toilet.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55That's horrible.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58And he only way to fix it is to stick a big injection into you.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Every day. Into your bum.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03So bad!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Do you think Karen would be offended?
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Ah, Karen will be fine! Don't you worry about Karen.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Oh, no! You just wipe that on there.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Go on, you just go and enjoy your birthday.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Group photo, everyone! >
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Oh, group photo! Whoo!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Are you going to > come and join us?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Hm? What? Photo?
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Yeah. Definitely.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31How come they've got a Dec-athlon but not an Ant-athlon?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33It's just wrong, man!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I want fishing to be an Olympic sport.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39And it's not just me, I collected a list of names and it was this big!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44The gold medal is ours for the taking, Ivan.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- You have taught her well.- Yes.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48For five years we have trained Olga
0:23:48 > 0:23:51to be the greatest ice-skater in the world.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54We have taught her jumps, turns, combinations,
0:23:54 > 0:23:57crossovers, spins and lifts.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00She has mastered the Lutz jump,
0:24:00 > 0:24:03the Mohawk turn, the death spiral,
0:24:03 > 0:24:07the Russian splits and the hair-cutter.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11We have taught her everything there is to know about ice-skating...
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Apart from how to stop.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Yes, the stopping could definitely do with some work.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Hi.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35You've kicked your ball into my back garden
0:24:35 > 0:24:37and you want me to go and get it. Is that right?
0:24:56 > 0:24:58It's not the right ball? You're kidding me?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00You're not kidding me. Right.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I'll go and get the right ball.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29It's behind the shed.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36What am I doing?
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Right, that's the only other one. I'm actually very busy.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43I'm not pushing it.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50GLASS SMASHES
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Oi! Who did that?!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02BMX-jumping, on ice, over crocodiles.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Or do they already have that one?
0:26:04 > 0:26:08In athletics, how cute would it be if we replaced the discus
0:26:08 > 0:26:12with a Frisbee and the athlete with a dog?
0:26:12 > 0:26:13GROWLS
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Good heavens. There's a fly in my soup. There's a fly in my soup!
0:26:22 > 0:26:23BLOWS WHISTLE
0:26:23 > 0:26:25(AMERICAN ACCENT) Stand back!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28I'm going to need some space, sir.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Come on, little guy. I am not going to lose you.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36One, two, three, four.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39BREATHES DEEPLY
0:26:39 > 0:26:41One, two, three, four.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42BREATHES DEEPLY
0:26:42 > 0:26:44FLY BUZZES
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Oh! He's going to be OK. He's going be OK.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47APPLAUSE
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Just doing my job.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Just doing my job.
0:26:59 > 0:27:00SURPRISED CHEERING
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Kenny?
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Yes, boss?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Get yourself ready, son. I'm bringing you on.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40You won't regret this! I'll do you proud! I'll run my legs off for you!
0:27:40 > 0:27:41I'll give you 100%!
0:27:41 > 0:27:43This will be the best decision you've ever made...
0:27:43 > 0:27:45FINAL WHISTLE BLOWS
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Well done, lads! Superb!
0:27:47 > 0:27:49There we go. Nice!
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Well done!
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd