0:00:32 > 0:00:36Hello. This is the FIT O'clock News. Our top stories today...
0:00:36 > 0:00:39the World Figure Skating Championships were postponed today
0:00:39 > 0:00:43after a number of skaters fell over in exactly the same spot
0:00:43 > 0:00:44during their routines.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49A British heavyweight boxer has taken the world champion's belt.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50He also got his trousers,
0:00:50 > 0:00:53shirt and shoes after sneaking into his changing room.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56We now go over live to this year's charity marathon,
0:00:56 > 0:00:59where Patricia Johnson is at the finishing line.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Congratulations, guys, what a staggering effort.
0:01:03 > 0:01:0626.2 miles dressed as a donkey.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08How are you feeling, guys?
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Absolutely exhausted.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11- I bet you are.- This weighs a ton.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Yeah, it's a miracle we finished the race at all.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I've had a knee problem for a few weeks now.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17The training's really taken its toll.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20But, with some extra strapping, the old knee held up.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23But it was for a really good cause, so it was definitely worth it.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24What's the cause again?
0:01:24 > 0:01:26A donkey sanctuary, obviously.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Of course. How much have you raised?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Over to Rob for that one.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31How do you mean?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Well, you were doing the sponsorship.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36No, you said you were going to sort that.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37The costumes.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38I said I was going to sort the costume.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41- You were doing the sponsorship forms.- You were going to do them.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44It was your job. This is a disaster!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- We've just run 26 miles for nothing. - It was all right for you.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50My face was this far away from your bum. And he had a curry last night!
0:01:50 > 0:01:53At least I didn't forget to get any sponsorship!
0:01:53 > 0:01:54It was your job!
0:01:54 > 0:01:55It was your job!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58You should've done the sponsorship!
0:01:58 > 0:01:59< I hate you!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01What fun! Back to the studio.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09We all love salad, especially if you're keeping
0:02:09 > 0:02:12an eye on your calories. But it can be an awful lot of bother.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15So here's a simple shortcut that I use when I know
0:02:15 > 0:02:19I ought to have salad, but can't be faffed to actually have some.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24This lettuce, if you look there, is toast that I've dyed green.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29And these tomatoes are actually fried eggs that I've painted red.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33And these healthy-looking green beans are chips.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37And the sausage can be, I don't know, peppers or something.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41There. Basically most of a fried breakfast.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Mmm!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44And that's how to cheat at salad.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Welcome to the insult boxing, I'm Ian Solent.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Here's the fight we've all been waiting for.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58"Low Blow" McCann taking on this exciting new talent,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00- Rudi "Rude Boy" Johnson.- Box!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02- BELL RINGS - And there's the bell.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Haven't I seen you on telly, mate?
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Yeah, your haircut was in Greatest Ever Natural Disasters.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Oh, nice opening from Johnson,
0:03:09 > 0:03:10you can tell that really hurt McCann.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Nice breath, mate. What you been eating?
0:03:12 > 0:03:13A dog's bum?
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Oh, that one connected as well! Johnson softening him up.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20You're just like a superhero - dressed in ladies tights,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23no-one knows who you are in real life and you look better wearing a mask.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Oh, nice little combination! This could all be over in seconds!
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Your mum's so stupid, she thought an eye patch was a laptop for pirates.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Oh, he's made a mistake there.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Your mum's so stupid, she thinks Hogwarts is a disease for pigs.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38He had the fight won, now he's trading "your mum's"
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- with the expert! - Your mum's so old...
0:03:40 > 0:03:42she babysat for Adam and Eve.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Your mum's so old she went to school in black and white.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48That's not going to hurt anyone. Johnson's weakening.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49He's in trouble!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Your mum's so ugly, she escaped from a fire
0:03:51 > 0:03:53and the fireman carried her back in.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54- Oh! - HE WHIMPERS
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Oh, my word!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58That's it! It's all over!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Johnson's corner have thrown in the towel,
0:04:01 > 0:04:05McCann remains the undisputed world insult boxing champion.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- MAN SOBS - Sorry, mate, I didn't mean it.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08No!
0:04:08 > 0:04:09I think it's a bit late for that.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11BELL RINGS
0:04:46 > 0:04:48I like jacket potatoes...
0:04:48 > 0:04:50but I don't like trouser potatoes.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58BLOWS WHISTLE
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Oi! No dive-bombing!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Have you got any idea how long it took me to blow-dry this hair?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Two hours. Be more responsible.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14CHEERING
0:05:15 > 0:05:16GLASS SMASHES
0:05:16 > 0:05:18CROWD GROAN
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Check it, it's your boy Z-BRASH462 kicking it in the kitchen
0:05:23 > 0:05:25with my top girl Hilary.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Ninja567283.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30And we're ready to lay down the truth. Check it.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32How to wash your trainers.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36First of all, we're going to need a pair of proper rank trainers. Boom.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Whoa! Those are toe-cally trashed.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44True that. Now it's time for your boy Z-BRASH462 to bring the pain
0:05:44 > 0:05:45to the game.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47With a bowl of soapy water and a toothbrush.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50What kind of bristles is you sporting on that toothbrush, sis?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Medium/soft bristles, bruv. - Just use any old toothbrush.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- Yeah, I found this next to his bathroom sink.- No!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- You said use any old toothbrush. - I said use any OLD toothbrush.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Any old toothbrush.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Any OLD.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07My kicks have been scrubbed up real nice but I want to get them
0:06:07 > 0:06:09reeeeeeeeeeeaaaal nice.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13- There's only one thing for it. - The washing machine.- Boom.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Don't just throw them in there, man.
0:06:15 > 0:06:16All right, chill out, man.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19You're want to make sure this bad boy's on the right cycle.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Not too hot.- Not too cold.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23But just right.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24Laters.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Hilary, pop the hood.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33What?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Looks like I set the dial too hot, bruv.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Should get like a dog or something - these would look phat on a puppy.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Turn off the camera. Turn it off!
0:06:46 > 0:06:48HE WHIMPERS
0:06:53 > 0:06:54You all right?
0:06:54 > 0:06:55All right.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02It's five items or less, love.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Hurry up, there's people waiting.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35There's five.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Sorry, Miss, I can't do rugby today.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48I've got a note. I've got a broken toe and I have to keep it elevated.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Yeah, Miss, I can't do it either. My knees are bandy.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Look at them.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02And now on Radio FIT, guiding you aimlessly through the rest
0:08:02 > 0:08:05of the athletics, it's our clueless commentators.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08You join us here at the, erm...
0:08:09 > 0:08:11No idea what this is. Helen?
0:08:11 > 0:08:15No, I'm no expert on this, whatever this is.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16There are people in shorts,
0:08:16 > 0:08:20they're...bobbing up and down as if they're trying to remember
0:08:20 > 0:08:23how to do...whatever it is this is.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Yes, this certainly does look like it's going to be a...
0:08:26 > 0:08:28thrilling...whatever this is.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32When they start doing it... We haven't missed it, have we?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Just a minute, there's a man there with a gun.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Maybe he's the bird scarer.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40I was hit full in the face by a rook once, cost me the bronze.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41MAN FIRES GUN
0:08:41 > 0:08:44And this will be in the end-of-year round ups.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46The bird scarer has just fired his gun into the air
0:08:46 > 0:08:48and scared all of the competitors.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51They've all run away, around the track.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54It's just like one of those races...with the people.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57And they're all in a terrible hurry to get somewhere.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00And let's hope that's a long way away because we've got to go
0:09:00 > 0:09:02to Giles, who's at the thing
0:09:02 > 0:09:05with the people throwing the stick. Giles.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Oh!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07The Misspelt Games!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10You join us at the outdoor range for what promises to be
0:10:10 > 0:10:13one of the highlights of the day - the mountain biting.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15French hopeful Jean-Paul Jean Eduard
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Jean Marie Jean Christophe Jean Jean Jeanterhome
0:10:18 > 0:10:19takes on the Spanish champ,
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Consuella De Diego Del Dino De Dante De Dadio.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Quite a mouthful. - As is the event.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Worth reminding our viewers not to try this at home.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Quite. These people had years of training.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32And very little brain.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34MAN FIRES GUN And they're off.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Sinking their teeth into the mountain.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39These are tournament-standard mountains for this class of event.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42A pair of weighted granite outcrops sourced from the Swiss Alps -
0:10:42 > 0:10:44very hard on the molars.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46De Dario clearly struggling there.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47And there it is.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Jeanterhome, the gentleman of mountain biting, has won.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53To think his critics said he'd bitten off more than he could chew!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Now that he'd chew the lump of granite in his mouth, of course -
0:10:56 > 0:10:58that's against the rules of mountain biting.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00That would wipe the smile off your face.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05My favourite food? Er, well, it's baked bean...
0:11:05 > 0:11:07PHRRT!
0:11:07 > 0:11:09It's baked beans... PHRRT!
0:11:09 > 0:11:13It's, er, it's baked beans. PHRRT!
0:11:13 > 0:11:16My favourite food is baked beans. PHRRT!
0:11:16 > 0:11:17I'll eat anything, me.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21The other day I even ate horse. That's H-O-R-S-E.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Oh, I love Alphabetti Spaghetti.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25PHRRT! My favourite food is baked bean...
0:11:25 > 0:11:27PHRRT!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29My favourite food is mixed salad.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31As long as it's mixed with chips.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33PHRRT!
0:11:33 > 0:11:36It's baked beans. It's... PHRRT!
0:11:44 > 0:11:45BLOWS WHISTLE
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Oi! Did you just push him in?
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Sorry.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I got splashed. There's chlorine in that water.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Have you got any idea what that can do to a man's fake tan?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- No.- It can wash it clean off.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00I'm going to have to go and get a re-spray because of you,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- so I hope you're happy. - BLOWS WHISTLE
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Right, that's it. Everyone out!
0:12:05 > 0:12:06I mean it, all of you.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09I've got to go and get my tan re-sprayed.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Blame him, it's all his fault.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Unbelievable.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- Hey there. I'm Chad Stevens. - WATCH BEEPS
0:12:23 > 0:12:25And yep, I think it's time-saving time.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Oh, yeah!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Planting your own vegetables is super ace healthy,
0:12:34 > 0:12:35but it can take ages.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Save time by buying your vegetables from the supermarket
0:12:39 > 0:12:41and then planting them.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46Soon you can pick potatoes straight from the tree.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Bonus tip -
0:12:52 > 0:12:54I can save time by not eating this.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Job done!
0:13:54 > 0:13:55WHISTLE
0:13:55 > 0:13:59It's the number one collectable card collecting phenomenon
0:13:59 > 0:14:04that's sweeping the nation, although admittedly not very fast.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08It's time to collect the Brian Butterfield Premier Football
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Back-Room Staff collectable card collection.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15So, get collecting.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17There's the groundsman,
0:14:17 > 0:14:18kit washer,
0:14:18 > 0:14:20boot polisher,
0:14:20 > 0:14:22toilet cleaner,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24miscellaneous meat sandwich seller.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28All the unsung heroes of your favourite football teams,
0:14:28 > 0:14:32without whom your Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays,
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Tuesdays, Wednesdays
0:14:33 > 0:14:36and sometimes Thursdays and Fridays
0:14:36 > 0:14:38just wouldn't be the same.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Accounts tabulator,
0:14:41 > 0:14:42coach driver,
0:14:42 > 0:14:45reserve team coach driver,
0:14:45 > 0:14:46fluorescent guard,
0:14:46 > 0:14:49football net knitter.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51There are over 20,000 to collect.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55Collect them all and swap them with your friends.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58I'll swap you Manchester United's physio for the night watchman
0:14:58 > 0:15:00- at the Arsenal Stadium. - Brilliant.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I only the need the lawyer who finalises the paperwork
0:15:02 > 0:15:06for the sponsorship deals and I've got myself the complete set.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Keep your collection in pristine condition
0:15:09 > 0:15:11in this Brian Butterfield
0:15:11 > 0:15:12commemorative cabinet.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Got, got, need,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17got, need, got...
0:15:17 > 0:15:19At least a half-hour of fun!
0:15:19 > 0:15:24These cards are a must-have for football fans everywhere.
0:15:24 > 0:15:29Available now in all newsagents' willing to sell them.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Collect now!
0:15:32 > 0:15:36From the people who brought you table football...
0:15:36 > 0:15:39comes the ultimate challenge.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Table Waterpolo.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43You'll only be playing one game this year,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45because it's impossible to score.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Oi, no spinning!
0:15:48 > 0:15:50This is rubbish.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Table Waterpolo, from the company that brought you Table Ski Jumping,
0:15:54 > 0:15:59Table Orienteering and Table Husky Racing, all games still in stock.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00We haven't sold any.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Table Waterpolo. Water not included.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Do you know which one of these is the badminton lines?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Erm...
0:16:10 > 0:16:11That one!
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Ah!
0:16:17 > 0:16:19This doesn't feel right.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22No. Oh, that one there, definitely.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Ah!
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- I don't think this is right either. - Er...
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Oh, hang on, it's those ones. Yeah.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Oh, sorry!
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Er... Oh, no, that's too floppy.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Oh, is it that one?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46- That's football.- That one.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- Hockey.- Is it that one? - Volleyball.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49- Is it that one?- Chess.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- That one?- Trampolining.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52- That one.- Cat racing.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55- That one. - That's professional forward rolling.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Is it that one?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59That's a helipad.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Oh, it's that one.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Yes.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Here we go. Badminton time.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Ah!
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Sorry.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Look, I'm going to look in the book.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- It's that one.- Oh!
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- Awesome.- Let's badminton.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30All right!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Time's up!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Need to set up for basketball.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- Same time next week?- Yeah.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Duchner of Germany.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46This throw could take him onto the medal board.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Quite a character. His little rituals, little lift of the shirt.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Pretending he can't find the hammer. Oh, there it is.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Nice to see that even under this sort of pressure,
0:17:55 > 0:17:57these athletes have a human side.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Weighing up the hammer, getting the measure of it.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Go for the handle end. That's the regulation grip.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Here we go, taking the strain...
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Whirling round and round.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Oh, it's a blur! And there it goes!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15It must be three, four inches, absolutely incredible.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17And he's happy with that.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18He'll be looking forward to a silver medal.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21And because he didn't wet himself, some chocolate buttons
0:18:21 > 0:18:22and a tiger sticker.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- Penalty, ref! Yes! - BLOWS WHISTLE
0:18:29 > 0:18:30Come on!
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Yes!
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Come on! Yes!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Come on! Have some of that then!
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Woo!
0:18:46 > 0:18:47Yeah!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Yeah! Ah!
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Ooh!
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Yeah! Wow!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Wow. That was... That was such a surprise.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I haven't even prepared a speech.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Firstly, I'd like to thank my central midfielder Jermaine.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11If it hadn't been for him diving in the box
0:19:11 > 0:19:14and rolling around like he'd been attacked by a swarm of angry wasps,
0:19:14 > 0:19:16that penalty would never have been possible.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17This is for you, mate.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I'd also like to thank the rest of the team.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Couldn't have done it without you boys.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Well, maybe not Andy - terrible player.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26I'd like to thank my beautiful girlfriend Leticia.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Oh, sorry, Janine. I've got a new girlfriend.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I should have told you earlier. But you know how... WHISTLE
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Oh, it's finished.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35What happened, lads?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38We lost, they won. Thanks for nothing, mate.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Can I still keep this?
0:19:43 > 0:19:44I take that as a yes.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49I'm a vegetarian but I love hot dogs.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I mean, I figure it's OK cos there's no real meat in them.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54What are my favourite foods? Er...
0:19:56 > 0:19:57I need to call my agent.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Hello, Terry, yeah, it's me.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Erm, what foods am I endorsing at the moment?
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Right, got you.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Er, whatever he says.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Hey there, Chad Stevens here with even more of my super awesome
0:20:14 > 0:20:19time-saving tips. I've decided to do this bit really fast so you can save even more time.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Going on vacation takes ages.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28There's aeroplanes, taxis, buses, hostels, tents, luggage,
0:20:28 > 0:20:32rows about who lost the passport. And all that takes time.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Such a drag! So why not save time
0:20:35 > 0:20:37by doing a staycation?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Yes, holiday at home!
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Bonjourno, senoritas.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45This is so awesome.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48You guys have saved so much time.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49I wanted to go to Spain.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Shh!
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Another great job. Tres bien,
0:20:54 > 0:20:55tres fast.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- Can I go now, Mum?- No.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04- CROWD:- Wow!
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Yeah, I take my sport pretty seriously.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08If I'm watching on television,
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I like to get the best equipment I can.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14I want quadraphonic wrap-around sound. I want 60-inch plasma.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15The works.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Yeah. Well, I reckon we've got exactly what you're after.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21This is the latest in 4D TV.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- It's like you're at the actual stadium itself.- 4D?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Absolutely.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Put these on and try it for yourself.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30I'll believe it when I see it.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Here we go.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35See? Incredibly realistic.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- Well?- I don't really like motor sport.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39All right, check this out.
0:21:39 > 0:21:44- COMMENTATOR:- Huge kick from the fly half there, soaring up the field.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- The pack are giving chase... - So what do you reckon?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Does it look like they're coming at you?
0:21:48 > 0:21:49Nah.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- COMMENTATOR:- No tricks have been left in the dressing room.
0:21:52 > 0:21:53Oh, look at that!
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Now, that was quite impressive.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01Yeah. Let's try another channel.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03And it couldn't be closer in this,
0:22:03 > 0:22:06the last round, as the world record javelin thrower starts his run up.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- And there it comes.- Ah!- Oh!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- Where you going? - He's done it!
0:22:10 > 0:22:12It comes with a lifetime guarantee.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20Sorry, Miss, I can't do weights today. I've got a note.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24I've been having dizzy spells and I'm not allowed to strain myself.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Yeah, Miss, I can't do it either.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32I do magic spells and, erm, I'm not allowed to...
0:22:32 > 0:22:34rain myself.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40And you join us here at the... whatever this is.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Some people there...in a hurry.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46And there's the woman from the country with the blue flag
0:22:46 > 0:22:48in easily the biggest hurry.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Closely followed by the one who looks a little bit like
0:22:51 > 0:22:53the old Doctor Who.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Coming up behind them, it's the woman with the hair.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59And coming up in the rear, the one who was on Sport Relief.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02In fact, it looks as though she's trying to beat the woman
0:23:02 > 0:23:05from the country with the blue flag to wherever she's going,
0:23:05 > 0:23:08possibly to catch a plane to the country with the blue flag.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Or a boat.- That would be good. You're an expert on boats.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12I'll be ready.
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Sorry!
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- Soup's ready, chef. - Right, well I'll be tasting it -
0:23:19 > 0:23:22if you don't taste, you won't know if it's seasoned properly.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Give it here. Right.
0:23:27 > 0:23:28Right, it needs more salt.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32More salt, chef.
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Right.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Mm, it's not bad actually.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Yeah.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Mmm!
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Yeah.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Yeah, that's really nice, that. You know what?
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Erm...
0:24:02 > 0:24:04SHE BURPS
0:24:04 > 0:24:07You could lay off the salt next time.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- Leg of lamb's ready, chef. - Oh, don't mind if I do.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Welcome back to the World's Weakest Man competition.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18And it simply couldn't be more exciting.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22With me is Derek Featherstone, former World's Weakest Man winner.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Derek, who's your tip for the title?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Agh, it's too heavy!
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Argh!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Well, for me it's a two-horse race.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- Still got it, Derek.- Ah!
0:24:35 > 0:24:36You've still got it.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43CROWD GASP
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Come on, Monty, you need some fresh air and exercise.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Take the dog for a walk.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50- WEARILY:- OK.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Go on!
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Fetch!
0:25:33 > 0:25:37We all love swimming, but sometimes it can be an awful lot of bother.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39So here's a simple shortcut I use
0:25:39 > 0:25:41when I can't be faffed to actually go swimming.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45You'll need one of these. It's a wet towel.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46And I simply rub it in my hair.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52There. And for that post-exercise glow...
0:25:54 > 0:25:57..rosy cheeks. You'd think I'd just done 20 lengths,
0:25:57 > 0:26:02whereas in fact I've just been in bed finishing off a fried breakfast.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Mm, sausages.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05You been swimming?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Ah,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10yes! And that's how to cheat at swimming.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15My favourite food is shepherd's pie, but I have to say that
0:26:15 > 0:26:17because Mum makes them.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19She's over there. All right, mum.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21They're disgusting.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30- I can't go. - Checkmate.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32I have checked, mate, I can't go.
0:26:32 > 0:26:33No, checkmate.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36I have checked mate, I can't go.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Checkmate.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40I still can't go.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46SHE GRUNTS
0:26:46 > 0:26:47SHE GRUNTS
0:26:47 > 0:26:49- SHE GRUNTS - Hello?
0:26:49 > 0:26:50SHE GRUNTS
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Excuse me... anybody? >
0:26:53 > 0:26:56WHIMPERING
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Please.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04I'm afraid of heights. I want to get down, please...
0:27:08 > 0:27:11180!
0:27:12 > 0:27:14I mean, look at the quality of that picture.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16It's like you're at the actual match.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- COMMENTATOR:- He's knocked that for six, it's sailing through the air.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Oh, he's been caught out! Unbelievable.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Woo! Come on!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- Go on!- Champions!
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Champions!
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Come on!
0:27:33 > 0:27:37For some reason he's still holding onto the ball, though.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40The game really can't continue without the ball.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41Oh, sorry!
0:27:41 > 0:27:43SCREEN SMASHES
0:27:43 > 0:27:44What you doing?!
0:27:44 > 0:27:47You're going to have to pay for that now.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd