0:00:00 > 0:00:00- Subtitles
0:00:00 > 0:00:02- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:00:26 > 0:00:29- Welcome to the show - and prepare to be entertained.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33- I hope you're not too full - after breakfast...
0:00:33 > 0:00:35- ..because today's theme is food.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Today's National Lunch-Box Day.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- Coincidentally, it happens - to be the Digestive's birthday.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- Happy birthday, lad.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49- A lunch-box competition - will he held...
0:00:49 > 0:00:53- ..along with - plenty of biscuit activities.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57- I'm crazy, I'm wild, and like - your favourite biscuit, I'm....
0:00:58 > 0:00:59- ..nuts!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05- What's in your lunch-box, Geth?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- Nothing. - I'm a school dinners kind of guy.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12- Pie, chips and beans. Thanks, - Auntie Doris. See you tomorrow.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17- I'm with you on that. There's - nothing better than school dinner.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19- But a lunch-box'll do as a starter.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21- Starter?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24- Have you crashed - another funeral tea?
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- No. This is my lunch-box - for the competition.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32- It'd be a shame if I, - the secret food market guy...
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- ..didn't win the special prize.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40- Help, Tesni.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44- What's wrong? Has Deiniol tried - to give Betsan away in a raffle?
0:01:45 > 0:01:49- No. I promised to arrange a prize - for the best lunch-box competition.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- But I forgot. What can it be?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54- Sorry, sorry! Excuse me!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56- Um, Betsan?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Um, Betsan?- - Remember when she was the prize...
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- ..for the hula-hoop contest?
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- I remember. It went well.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- The winner - demanded a new hula hoop afterwards.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10- After I stuck the big O to the wall.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13- After I stuck the big O to the wall.- - The hula hoop was that big O.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16- Was it?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- We'll have to think - of a better prize than Betsan.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- Something someone really wants.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30- A day spent with someone popular...
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- ..talented, good looking...
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- I've had an idea.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Me! I'll be the prize.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Great idea, eh, Jen?
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Right, fans, - you're listening to Owsa.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- Today's guests are Tesni and Jen.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- What brings you here?
0:02:55 > 0:02:59- We're here to announce - what the first prize will be...
0:03:00 > 0:03:02- ..in the lunch-box competition.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- The prize is a day with me.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Yes, me.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11- Lunch-box.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14- Gethin!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- Gethin!- - I need a lunch-box.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- What's that?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- Miss Dearth.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Is that meant to be funny?
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- Because it's nowhere near - ugly enough.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51- She needs horns.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Mr Roberts?
0:03:54 > 0:04:00- I doubt very much you have time - to waste in the common room.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Get back to your classroom...
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- ..or I'll staple your tie - to the notice board.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- On my way, Miss Dearth.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- What are you doing, Betsan?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- Homework - my family tree.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- I've found a cool website - that traces your family tree.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Who have you found so far?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Mam, Dad, Nain, Taid...
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- ..and my other Nain and Taid.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- How much does it cost?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- Only 67.80 so far...
0:04:39 > 0:04:44- ..but it's not foolproof because - I can't find Fluffy the bunny...
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- ..and she's lived with us - for, like...
0:04:47 > 0:04:48- ..yonks.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Deiniol, you have to give me - your lunch-box.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- No, I don't.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00- Yes, you do. First prize - is a day spent with Tesni.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Come on, - you've plenty of food to share.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- No. I want to win the contest too.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12- Well, thanks a lot, Deiniol.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- I hope you choke on your Scotch egg.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24- Thank you once again to Miss Dearth - for popping by the studio today.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- How about a few questions - on today's theme...
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- ..food?
0:05:31 > 0:05:35- There's a questionnaire here - which'll list your relations.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- I want to do it! - What's a questionnaire?
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- Right. - There are three general questions.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Then the computer - checks the database...
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- ..and searches for people - with similar answers.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52- Do you understand?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Do you understand?- - No, but never mind.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57- Right. Favourite colour?
0:05:57 > 0:06:01- Pink, the colour of candy floss, - Fluffy's nose...
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- ..and your wee - when you've eaten too much beetroot.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- What's your favourite biscuit?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- What's your favourite biscuit?- - Pink wafer.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15- Pink's my favourite colour, - as you can see.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- Favourite pattern?
0:06:18 > 0:06:22- Criss-crosses - because I like prawn sandwiches.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- That's what they're called - in chess.
0:06:26 > 0:06:31- Do you know what else I like about - pink wafer? The criss-cross pattern.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Where would you come in a race?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36- Where would you come in a race?- - Last.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42- Another thing about pink wafer - - it's the last biscuit in the box.
0:06:43 > 0:06:49- I don't like seeing anything - or anyone coming last.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Were you listening to the radio - while answering?
0:06:53 > 0:06:54- No. Why?
0:06:54 > 0:06:58- No. Why?- - Darth Vader gave the same answers.
0:06:58 > 0:07:04- Pink, criss-cross and last. - You gave exactly the same answers.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08- Betsan, - you're related to Miss Dearth.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- O-M-G! O-M-G, I can't believe this!
0:07:12 > 0:07:18- You're related to the headmistress. - You gave the exact same answers.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21- It's as if - you're mother and daughter.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24- You think Miss Dearth's my mother?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- The questionnaire says...
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- ..if you've found - a perfect match to your answers...
0:07:31 > 0:07:37- ..the chances of you being related - are 95.999999972%.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- You're - a very important person now, Betsan.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- Hey, no running in the corridor!
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- Oh, no!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- No, no, no, I'm doomed!
0:08:52 > 0:08:53- Bingo!
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- What's that?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- A bike. What do you think it is?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- A lunch-box for the competition.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- Are you being sponsored - by Cling Film?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- No, why? What are you trying to say?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Nothing.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- It's just a bit extreme, isn't it?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48- Do you have OCD?
0:09:49 > 0:09:50- Yes, I do.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- But I've been able - to hide it until today.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02- Sit down, Gethin.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06- On the sofa.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- I want you all in here, Owain.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- I want your full attention.
0:10:17 > 0:10:23- The caretaker has informed me - of graffiti in the boys' toilets.
0:10:26 > 0:10:31- A childish beast - has drawn a disgusting picture...
0:10:31 > 0:10:32- Disgusting.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33- ..horrible...
0:10:33 > 0:10:35- ..horrible...- - Horrible.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36- ..insulting...
0:10:37 > 0:10:38- So insulting.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- ..on the cubicle door.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46- It's in your block, lads, so I - expect you to clean it immediately.
0:10:46 > 0:10:52- In the meantime, Mr Roberts will - hold an enquiry to find the culprit.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- Whoever did it...
0:10:54 > 0:11:00- ..will have to eat nettles - in front of the entire school.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04- Geth should clean the graffiti - because he has OCD. He'd enjoy it.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- What?
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- You so don't have OCD, Geth.
0:11:10 > 0:11:15- I've been in your bedroom. There - were fleas queuing up to leave.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17- Yes, I have.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- I do have OCD. Look.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- Gethin, you have my sympathy.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- My heart goes out - to fellow sufferers.
0:11:29 > 0:11:35- I know those scribbles will be - removed within the next half hour.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Yes, Miss.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- Miss! Miss! I think - graffiti's disgusting too.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- Dad saw some graffiti once...
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- Dad saw some graffiti once...- - Thinks, Betsan. Yes, I agree.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Graffiti's disgusting.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57- Do you feel - a certain closeness between us?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- Yes, Betsan.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- Far too much closeness.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- So get out of my way - and leave me alone!
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Where is it, sir?
0:12:16 > 0:12:17- No, nothing there.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18- No, nothing there.- - Here it is!
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- Tut-tut.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- Uh-oh!
0:12:27 > 0:12:28- Don't, Deiniol.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Don't, Deiniol.- - HE BREAKS WIND
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- High-five, Davo!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- Looking good, Carwyn. Lost weight?
0:12:52 > 0:12:53- Cheers, sister.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- How's the headmistress' daughter?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- How's the headmistress' daughter?- - Exhausted. The kids are wound up.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- How's your mother, - the headmistress?
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- To tell you the truth, Jen, - poor Miss Dearth, sorry, Mam...
0:13:10 > 0:13:12- ..doesn't know we're related.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- I don't know how to tell her.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- I don't know how to tell her.- - You should make up for lost time.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- What do mothers do?
0:13:19 > 0:13:24- They put pictures on the fridge, - go and watch their children sing.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- You need to - fill that empty hole in her life.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- You're right, Jen. - It won't take me long.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- Brains run in the family.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- What on earth...?
0:13:46 > 0:13:47- Hush!
0:13:47 > 0:13:49- Hush!- - Why are we in here?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- We need privacy - to discuss the graffiti.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Any closer to finding the culprit?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- Yes and no.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Which one, Mr Roberts?
0:14:01 > 0:14:02- No.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05- Have you quizzed everyone?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- Yes and no.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Which one?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13- No.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- Have you - searched the toilets for clues?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- No.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26- Have you done anything - about this serious offence...
0:14:26 > 0:14:31- ..instead of hanging around - like a ghost picking his nose?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33- Come on.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36- Where are we going?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38- Where are we going?- - To the boys' toilets.
0:14:38 > 0:14:43- That vandal must've left his mark - - apart from on the cubicle door.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Yuck!
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- Not that kind of mark.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- I think someone's in there.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- So?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00- So?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Perhaps it's the culprit - returning to the crime scene.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09- That's what they do. I saw it once - on Crimewatch UK, The Update.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- # Two little dickey birds - sat upon a wall
0:15:15 > 0:15:19- # One named Peter, - the other named Paul
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- # Fly away, Peter, fly away, Paul
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- # Come back, Peter, - come back, Paul #
0:15:25 > 0:15:29- I've drawn a picture for you, Miss.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- It's you and me going for a walk.
0:15:31 > 0:15:36- I thought you could put it on your - fridge so it'd remind you of me.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- Maybe I could come over - one Saturday afternoon?
0:15:41 > 0:15:45- If you dared to come over - to my house, Betsan...
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- ..I'd put you in the fridge.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- Whoar!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- What are you looking for, Geth?
0:16:03 > 0:16:04- Cleaning products.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Cleaning products.- - For what?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- Cleaning the door. The toilet door.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- How can I do it - without cleaning products?
0:16:13 > 0:16:17- Set the door on fire. - That'd get rid of the graffiti.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- Yes, along with the entire school.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Mami Dearth didn't take the hint.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- Oh, poor you. Are you OK?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- I don't know how to tell her.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- Think of all the things - she's missed.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- Like riding a bike and so on. - That was some weekend.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39- The helmet, the knee pads, the pink - tassels and the stabilisers.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43- It's hard to believe - a year's gone by since then.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Yes! Yes, Betsan, you're a genius!
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- Jen? What's wrong with Betsan?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- She was carrying a nappy - and a onesie.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05- I think she said - she was going to see Miss Dearth.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09- It was hard to understand her - with a dummy in her mouth.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Oh, my goodness!
0:17:18 > 0:17:20- Uh-oh.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22- The basket's empty.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24- The basket's empty.- - Really?
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- I win first prize, then, guaranteed. - Where's all the food?
0:17:28 > 0:17:32- I don't know. - I thought I had enough.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34- The contest is too late in the day.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37- The contest is too late in the day.- - The contest is at 11.00am.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- Exactly. - What was I meant to do for brunch?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- I need to find a new lunch-box.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- There must be something here.
0:18:07 > 0:18:12- Here's my lunch-box. I'd like - to enter it in the contest, please.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15- Sorry, I can't accept that.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17- I don't think...
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- ..an old banana skin...
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- ..a rubber...
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- ..half a sausage roll...
0:18:28 > 0:18:33- ..and an old pair of pants - count as a lunch-box, Deins!
0:18:42 > 0:18:43- Mam!
0:18:43 > 0:18:44- Mam!- - Bestan.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- I know it's a shock - but it makes sense.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- Don't you feel - a connection between us?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- No.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53- No.- - Try this then.
0:18:54 > 0:18:59- Do you see? It feels so natural. - I know it makes you happy too.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- We've so much to do. - We'll have to get to it.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06- I want to cram the first four years - of my life in before tea.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09- Shall I change into my onesie?
0:19:09 > 0:19:13- Betsan! I've been - looking for you everywhere.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- What's going on, Jen?
0:19:17 > 0:19:19- There's been a misunderstanding.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- Do you think I'm your mother?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- I know you are, Miss.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27- I don't think you are.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- There's more chance - of the Pope being your father...
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- ..than of me being your mother.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- Do I have two fathers too?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- Who's this Pope fella?
0:19:38 > 0:19:43- Betsan, I am not your mother.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Listen, Betsan...
0:19:46 > 0:19:50- ..Miss Dearth isn't your mother.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- The thing is...
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- ..sometimes people make mistakes.
0:19:55 > 0:20:00- Remember when you put PVA on your - sarnie, thinking it was mayonnaise?
0:20:00 > 0:20:05- Yes, but I thought - the 97.9999% questionnaire...
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- ..proved it was true.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- It was a mistake. Sorry, Betsan.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- But I got on well - with the other teachers...
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- ..and the kids were friends with me.
0:20:18 > 0:20:23- We're all your friends, - no matter who you belong to.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- It does matter. - It won't be the same now.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36- Oh, my goodness. - You'll never believe this.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- I'm related to Owain Glyndwr.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- That's so much better. - I'm the Queen of Wales!
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Well, Glyndwr was a prince...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- ..so, technically, - you're a princess.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Oh, yes. - So Mam's the Queen of Wales then?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- Can I have your attention, please?
0:21:05 > 0:21:09- Before I reveal the winner, - may I just say...
0:21:09 > 0:21:13- ..a big thank you for - being asked to judge the contest.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- It's been a privilege and an honour.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- You're meant to clap.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25- Thank you. - Let's get on with the competition.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30- It was a popular contest - with three lunch-boxes entered.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- The standard was high overall...
0:21:33 > 0:21:37- ..apart from Betsan's pencil case.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- You haven't won, Betsan.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47- The winner - of the grand lunch-box contest...
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- ..is Geth!
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- Yes! Yes!
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- You've won. Congratulations.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02- Your prize is a day with Tesni.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- My diary's chock-a-block - at the moment.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07- Sorry, Geth.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10- Sorry, Geth.- - Just one kiss will do...
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- ..if that's easier, Tesni.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- Pucker up.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23- Stop!
0:22:26 > 0:22:28- I have to be present for this.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30- Of course.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34- Here's the champion - and here's his lunch-box.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36- I'm the winner.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- This is my lunch-box.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- I thought I'd left it at home.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- That's Geth's lunch-box, - the winning lunch-box.
0:22:47 > 0:22:52- I spend two hours each morning - preparing my lunch-box.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- I wash everything 10 times...
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- ..individually, - including the grapes.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- So, Sherlock, this belongs to me.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- And this rascal has stolen it.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- Is this true, Geth?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Yes and no.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- I found it.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- Yes, in my bag.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19- Did you find something else - while you were at it?
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- That means I'm the winner. Hooray!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- What's the prize?
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- A day with Tesni.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30- Oh.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Is Miss Dearth - doesn't want the prize...
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- ..I'll still take a kiss, Tesni.
0:23:39 > 0:23:44- The only kiss you'll get is the kiss - your mother'll give you later.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49- I hope for your sake - that the graffiti's been washed off.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52- The thing is, Miss...
0:23:52 > 0:23:56- Gethin, you're on the edge - of a very tall cliff here.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- It's been written - in permanent marker.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03- But don't worry, I've found - the right stuff to clean it.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05- I'll get it off in a minute.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06- I'll get it off in a minute.- - Well done.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- Can it be used on skin too?
0:24:14 > 0:24:16- Oh, flip!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.
0:24:23 > 0:24:23- .