Episode 3

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03It's Gigglebiz!

0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

0:00:15 > 0:00:18Ho-ho!

0:00:18 > 0:00:21On today's Gigglebiz, Simon Pieman,

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Gail Force,

0:00:23 > 0:00:26Keith Fit.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Introducing Rod and a net.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31And Professor Muddles.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Yes, I will, Mother. Yes...

0:00:34 > 0:00:39..Yes, I'm wearing fresh underwear. All right. See you, Sunday. Bye!

0:00:39 > 0:00:43I don't know. Oh! Hello there. I'm Professor Puddles...

0:00:43 > 0:00:47I mean Cuddles... D'oh... I mean Muddles. Now, I'm often asked,

0:00:47 > 0:00:51"Why is glue sticky?" It's a good question. Let's find out.

0:00:51 > 0:00:55As we know, there are lots of types of glue. There is, um...

0:00:55 > 0:01:00glue here for, um, sticking paper. Heh-heh. Ooh! Oh, dear,

0:01:00 > 0:01:02seem to be a bit...stuck.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Heh-heh. Um, never mind.

0:01:04 > 0:01:09Secondly, we have glue here for sticking metal. Very handy indeed.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Oh, no...

0:01:11 > 0:01:13I just need to get that off there and...

0:01:13 > 0:01:17Oh, that's better. And, er, finally, over here,

0:01:17 > 0:01:21we have glue for sticking wood. There.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24Now... Uh, oh, what's going on? Oh, dear.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27I seem to be a little, er, stuck. Heh-heh! Hang on a second.

0:01:27 > 0:01:32We know that if you want to solve a problem, we need... Oh! Oh, dear!

0:01:32 > 0:01:35I, er - heh-heh - seem to be very sticky today.

0:01:35 > 0:01:39Um, yes, well, um, I'm Professor, er, Puddles... Oh, no!

0:01:39 > 0:01:43I mean Cuddles. I mean, er, Muddles. Goodbye-ee!

0:01:44 > 0:01:47- GEORDIE ACCENT: - Away, bairns. Keith Fit here

0:01:47 > 0:01:50and today I'm going to show you how to pole vault.

0:01:50 > 0:01:55Now I've been pole vaulting for 20 years so I know what I'm doing.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57All reet! Now, safety first.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00This is a crash mat.

0:02:00 > 0:02:01It's nice and soft

0:02:01 > 0:02:04so you can hurl yourself on it and you won't get hurt.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06All reet, down to business.

0:02:06 > 0:02:10You take your pole and you run as fast as you can

0:02:10 > 0:02:13and you hurl yourself over the bar

0:02:13 > 0:02:14onto the crash mat

0:02:14 > 0:02:15using your pole.

0:02:15 > 0:02:20Let's get down to business. Watch and learn, bairns. Watch and learn.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Oh... Oh, my back. Oh...

0:02:28 > 0:02:30HE GROANS

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Oh, by gum. Ow...

0:02:34 > 0:02:38- EXHALES - And that's how you pole vault.

0:02:38 > 0:02:39Champion!

0:02:40 > 0:02:43LIGHT JOLLY MUSIC

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Doctor Doctor will see you now.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Next!

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Ah, now, what seems to be the problem?

0:02:53 > 0:02:56Doctor Doctor, I think I need glasses.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00You certainly do. This is the fish-and-chip shop. Ha-hey! Next!

0:03:07 > 0:03:10TUMMY RUMBLES AND GURGLES

0:03:14 > 0:03:15PHONE RINGS

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Simon Pieman at your service.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21..Need a pie?

0:03:21 > 0:03:22Good. Right!

0:03:29 > 0:03:31PACEY MUSIC

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Right, here we go!

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Oh, whoa!

0:03:36 > 0:03:37Whoa!

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Woo-ooh! He-hey!

0:03:39 > 0:03:43Whe-ey! Oops! Coming through!

0:03:43 > 0:03:44Whoa!

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Woo-oo-ooh! Woo-oo-ooh! Wu-hey!

0:03:47 > 0:03:51Woo-ooh! Watch out!

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Hey! Whoa! Coming through!

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Woo-o-oh! Whey-hey...

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Oh... Phew!

0:03:59 > 0:04:02Now, one perfect...

0:04:08 > 0:04:09..pie.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15And now we join Gail, our roving reporter,

0:04:15 > 0:04:18who's taken a visit to the health clinic. Gail?

0:04:20 > 0:04:24- Hello, Arthur. Well, today I'm here with Sharice.- Chantelle.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28Chantelle. And she's going to give me some top tips

0:04:28 > 0:04:31about staying young and beautiful.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34Chantelle, what have we got here?

0:04:34 > 0:04:37- Well, it's made from seaweed...- Oh!

0:04:37 > 0:04:40..but it's good for your skin so you should try it.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42That sounds wonderful. I can't wait.

0:04:42 > 0:04:47- Right, I'll just get...- It smells nice, too. It must be a mudpack

0:04:47 > 0:04:50so I think I must put my face in here.

0:04:50 > 0:04:51SQUELCHING

0:04:51 > 0:04:55- Yes.- Now, the key thing is to use the tiniest...

0:04:55 > 0:04:58- What?- Oh...

0:04:58 > 0:04:59Huh... Um...

0:04:59 > 0:05:03- Um...- Back to the studio. Arthur?

0:05:03 > 0:05:08Well, that was Gail Force there literally wearing that seaweed.

0:05:08 > 0:05:12Oh, which reminds me... Why did the sand run away? Because the sea weed.

0:05:12 > 0:05:17Ha! Seaweed! Get it? Hee-hee-hee. And now this.

0:05:18 > 0:05:24Hello, I'm Rapids Johnson in search of a big Bulgarian bull. Moo!

0:05:24 > 0:05:29And it's said it roams these parts. Now, I've just taken some time out

0:05:29 > 0:05:33to have a crum-diddli-umptious picnic. That's it over. I'm full.

0:05:33 > 0:05:38Phew. And now it's time to pack up and get on with my expedition.

0:05:38 > 0:05:43Right. Now, they do say that red attracts bulls.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46But I can tell you that is not true at all.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Eh... BULL BELLOWS

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Ah... Ha-ha, sounds like I may be wrong.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54I'm Rapids...JOHNSON!

0:05:57 > 0:06:01Keep 'em! BULL BELLOWS

0:06:01 > 0:06:04And now it's time for your giggles!

0:06:04 > 0:06:07- Hey, Justin.- Yes, Thomas?

0:06:07 > 0:06:11What do you call a camel with three humps?

0:06:11 > 0:06:14What DO you call a camel with three humps?

0:06:14 > 0:06:17- Humphrey!- Hey!

0:06:19 > 0:06:25When I eat ice-cream, I always put three lemons on top.

0:06:25 > 0:06:33Hello, my little nutmegs. Welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36This is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Say hello, Tommy.

0:06:39 > 0:06:40Hello, Tommy!

0:06:43 > 0:06:48Today, we're making a special pudding. A pear crumble.

0:06:48 > 0:06:52- Hurray! - All right, Tommy. Calm down.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55For this, you'll need a crumble dish.

0:06:55 > 0:07:00Like this one. I've got some crumble mix over here.

0:07:00 > 0:07:04And some lovely custard.

0:07:04 > 0:07:10There. All we need now are the pears. I won't be a mini-mo.

0:07:14 > 0:07:20Pears are a fruit. They grow on trees. They're yummy in a crumble.

0:07:20 > 0:07:27All right? Tommy, why are you playingwith those funny apples?

0:07:27 > 0:07:30We don't need those!

0:07:30 > 0:07:33I don't know - daft boy!

0:07:33 > 0:07:37Nice, though. Where was I? Oh, yes.

0:07:37 > 0:07:45The perfect pear crumble. Put a pair of shoes in your pot.

0:07:45 > 0:07:50Of course, you can use a pair of sunglasses.

0:07:50 > 0:07:55Or, if you prefer, a pair of pants. There we are.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59- In fact, a pair of anything. - Dina...

0:07:59 > 0:08:06Of course, Tommy, my little dough ball. Silly me, I forgot.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10- Thank you. - Here goes the crumble mix on top.

0:08:10 > 0:08:14There we are. Lovely.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18And finally, add custard to your pear crumble.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22There. Lovely. Ooh, look at that.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28Till next time, my little cookie cutters.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32- Fancy a slice?- I'm on a diet.

0:08:34 > 0:08:40Oh, hello. How nice to see you. Sit down, have a rest.

0:08:40 > 0:08:44I've got to sit here while he fishes.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Coo-oo!

0:08:48 > 0:08:53He shouldn't bother. He never catches anything.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57And the sign says "Beware of the shark,"

0:08:57 > 0:09:01Like he's ever going to catch one!

0:09:01 > 0:09:04He couldn't catch a cold!

0:09:04 > 0:09:11I shouldn't laugh. It keeps him happy, that's what it's all about.

0:09:11 > 0:09:18He's out in the fresh air not getting into mischief.

0:09:18 > 0:09:24I get time to myself. I wouldn't mind if he DID catch a shark.

0:09:24 > 0:09:31Lovely big fish like that. Mind you, it wouldn't fit in our tank.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34But he never catches anything.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Do you, love?

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Bless.

0:09:38 > 0:09:45Could you help me with six across? It's a really hard one.

0:09:47 > 0:09:51Doctor Doctor will see you now. Next!

0:09:53 > 0:10:00- What seems to be the problem?- Doctor Doctor, I think I'm invisible.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Who said that? Ha-ha!

0:10:03 > 0:10:04Next!

0:10:04 > 0:10:10Gail Force is at a country fair with Morris Dancers. Gail.

0:10:10 > 0:10:15Yes, thank you, Arthur. I'm here... Oh!

0:10:15 > 0:10:19..in the village of Giggleton...

0:10:19 > 0:10:24The local Morris dancers are doing their lovely jig.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Now, I...oh!

0:10:26 > 0:10:33What? Hang on. Can you hear me? What...? Oh, never mind.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Thanks very much, Gail.

0:10:41 > 0:10:46Which one of those dancers was Morris? Hee-hee!

0:10:46 > 0:10:49I'm Arthur Sleep.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Now for more of your giggles!

0:10:52 > 0:10:56- Justin.- Yes? Have you got a joke? - Yes.- Go on.

0:10:56 > 0:11:03- What do you call a place where sick fairies go?- I don't know.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06- The ELF centre.- Ha-ha-ha!

0:11:29 > 0:11:33- Next! Hello, dear. - Hello.- Sit down. Ooh!

0:11:33 > 0:11:40That is remarkable. I never thought I'd see one of these again.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43- Er, that's my mobile phone.- Oh, no!

0:11:43 > 0:11:49I am the expert. This is in fact an antique paperweight.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53Probably dating back hundreds of years...

0:11:53 > 0:11:58RING-RING! Oh. Have a listen to its chime.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Can I just...- That's stopped it.

0:12:01 > 0:12:07My mistake. This is an antique music box.

0:12:07 > 0:12:14Probably owned by King Henry VIII. Things were so well made back then.

0:12:14 > 0:12:18Almost perfect. Though it doesn't close properly.

0:12:18 > 0:12:25- Never mind. Thank you for bringing it in, Mrs...?- Blenahazard.- Moving on!

0:12:28 > 0:12:34998, 999. Come on, Tone. 1,000. Keep going.

0:12:34 > 0:12:391001, 1002... Oh. 'Oway, bairns.

0:12:39 > 0:12:45Keith Fit here. I'm showing you how to do weightlifting. Safety first -

0:12:45 > 0:12:49Weights can be very heavy. Always use a buddy.

0:12:49 > 0:12:57This is Tony. I've been weightlifting for 20 year. I know about it. OK?

0:12:57 > 0:13:03Watch and learn. Transfer the weights to me. Just going to...

0:13:03 > 0:13:05CRASH

0:13:08 > 0:13:13And that's how you weightlift. Champion.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

0:13:19 > 0:13:21# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

0:13:21 > 0:13:23# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

0:13:23 > 0:13:27# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

0:13:27 > 0:13:29# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

0:13:29 > 0:13:32# Farwell, TTFN Arrivederci

0:13:32 > 0:13:34# We all hate to say goodbye

0:13:34 > 0:13:36# But we'll be back again

0:13:36 > 0:13:39# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

0:13:39 > 0:13:42# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

0:13:42 > 0:13:45# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

0:13:45 > 0:13:47# Na-na na It's time to go

0:13:47 > 0:13:50# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

0:13:50 > 0:13:53# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

0:13:53 > 0:13:56# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

0:13:56 > 0:13:59# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Ho-ho!