0:00:02 > 0:00:05It's Gigglebiz!
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz
0:00:08 > 0:00:11# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho
0:00:11 > 0:00:13# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz
0:00:13 > 0:00:16# Na-na na-na Here we go! #
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Ho-ho!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21On today's Gigglebiz,
0:00:21 > 0:00:23the Berito Brothers,
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Farmer Dung,
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Dina Lady,
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Opera Oliver,
0:00:29 > 0:00:32and now, it's time for Ann Teak.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Hmm.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38I'm afraid this is a reproduction,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40probably plastic,
0:00:40 > 0:00:42and totally worthless.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43- SMASH - Hi, Mum.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Oh, now, this, however, is very rare,
0:00:47 > 0:00:49and perfectly preserved.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- What is?- This!
0:00:52 > 0:00:53This is my daughter.
0:00:53 > 0:00:58Oh, no, no, no! This is a Celtic warrior,
0:00:58 > 0:01:01painted for battle. Has it been in the family long?
0:01:01 > 0:01:05- About eight years. - Mum, is it time for dinner yet?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08And it speaks, too!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10How remarkable!
0:01:10 > 0:01:15Sadly, nobody knows what the Celtic language means any more.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- Do you speak English?- Yes.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20No, I haven't got a clue what it said.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Right, let's go.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25No, no, wait! You can't! It's far too valuable!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27It belongs in a museum!
0:01:28 > 0:01:32What's on the menu today? Let's find out with Opera Oliver.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35APPLAUSE
0:01:37 > 0:01:40# I'm Opera Oliver
0:01:40 > 0:01:42# Opera Oliver! #
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- # I love-a my pasta - Where's our food?
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- # Adore my cheese - Here it comes
0:01:52 > 0:01:55# And the thought of spaghetti makes me rather sweaty
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- # And weak at the knees! - Urgh!
0:01:58 > 0:02:01# I long for cannelloni
0:02:01 > 0:02:04# And worship my ragu
0:02:04 > 0:02:06# We do, too!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09# And nothing is sweeter Makes me more completer
0:02:09 > 0:02:11# Than tiramisu
0:02:11 > 0:02:14# We're getting indigestion
0:02:14 > 0:02:15# How long must we wait?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- # May I offer a suggestion?- Yes!
0:02:18 > 0:02:23# Just serve it on my plate, mate
0:02:24 > 0:02:27# But I love to serve you
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- # Bring-a you food and wine - It's coming now
0:02:31 > 0:02:34# Unfortunately that is not going to be... #
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Eh?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38# Cos now it's closing time! Goodbye! #
0:02:38 > 0:02:40THEY MURMUR UNHAPPILY
0:02:46 > 0:02:48APPLAUSE
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Ha'way, bairns.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Keith Fit here, and today we're going to do a spot of kayaking.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Now, kayaking is a bit like canoeing,
0:03:10 > 0:03:14but instead of a canoe, I'm using a kayak today.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Now, I've been kayaking for over 20 years,
0:03:16 > 0:03:19so I know what I'm talking about.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I'm going to grab the oar, and let's get going.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23The trickiest thing about kayaking
0:03:23 > 0:03:26is actually getting in the boat itself.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29But I've been doing this for 20 years,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32so I know what I'm talking about. All right, steady.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Looking good. OK.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38And then all you do is push off the jetty.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Now...don't try...
0:03:45 > 0:03:48And that's how you kayak!
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Champion!
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Tone! Tone, chuck us the boat!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Now it's time for your giggles.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Hey, Justin.- Hey, Sam. Got a joke?
0:04:03 > 0:04:04- Yeah.- Go on, then.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Why did the wheel go to sleep?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I don't know. Why did the wheel go to sleep?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Because it was TYRED.- Oh, no!
0:04:11 > 0:04:14LAUGHTER
0:04:14 > 0:04:17So the next time I ask for dough,
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I don't want a female deer brought to me.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Oh, dear. Silly boy.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26Oh! Hello there, my little cinnamon sticks,
0:04:26 > 0:04:30and welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33And this is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Say hello, Tommy.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Hello, Tommy.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Now, today, we're going to have a go at making some soap.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Now, you can put all kinds of things into soap,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49like lentils...
0:04:51 > 0:04:54..and, er, vegetables.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Ooh! And of course, chicken.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05But to turn it into soap,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08we need some of my special soap mixture.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12I'll just go and get some. Back in a bubble, trouble.
0:05:13 > 0:05:19It's OK. It sounds like she's saying "soap," like these,
0:05:19 > 0:05:22a bar of soap, or some washing-up soap.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25But that's just the way that she says "soup."
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Like when she says "spenge," she actually means "sponge."
0:05:29 > 0:05:34Oh, dear, Tommy. I can't find my soap mixture anywhere.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Oh, look, there it is.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Lovely.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Right, in it goes.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44There.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Ah!
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Give it a little stir.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51What was that about the spenge?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Oh! Lovely!
0:05:53 > 0:05:55That can go in, too.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Right, then.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59SHE SNIFFS Oh! Lovely fresh ingredients!
0:05:59 > 0:06:03We'll give it a lovely big stir now.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Definitely, definitely, do not try this at home.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10SHE SNIFFS
0:06:10 > 0:06:15Ah! Delicious soap, easy as pie.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Till next time, my little Cheddar cheeses.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Would you like to try some, Tommy?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23At least you won't have to wash up.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24HE BLOWS
0:06:28 > 0:06:31That's right, Reg. Bit more food there.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Hello, Farmer Dung.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Oh, hello there. All right?
0:06:35 > 0:06:38What animals have you got on the farm today?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Well, over there I've got my old chickens.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44All right, my dears? There they are, laying eggs.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Lovely. Do you have any other birds?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Well, a duck. Reggie's got a duck.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53So Reggie keeps ducks, does he?
0:06:53 > 0:06:55No. Reggie, a duck!
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Erm, Reggie IS a duck?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00No, no, no! Reggie, duck!
0:07:00 > 0:07:01DUCK QUACKS
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Whoa! Ha-ha!
0:07:03 > 0:07:04HE LAUGHS
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I told him he had a duck, didn't I?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Ha-ha! Reggie!
0:07:09 > 0:07:15Oh, my word! Duck!
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Thank you, Farmer Dung.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23Doctor Doctor will see you now. Next!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Now, what seems to be the problem?
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Doctor Doctor, I keep dreaming there are monsters under my bed.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33What can I do?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Take the legs off your bed!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- Ah...- Next!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Keith Fit here again.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Now, last time I got it a bit wrong.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46I had the kayak the wrong way round. Oh, silly me.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49OK, well, the kayak's now the right way round,
0:07:49 > 0:07:52so let's get in again and get down to business.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54OK. it's a bit tricky getting in,
0:07:54 > 0:07:58but don't worry, I've been doing this for over 20 years,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00so I know what I'm doing. OK. See that?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Right champion here. OK.
0:08:02 > 0:08:08Now, what you do is you hold your oar and you row, like this. OK?
0:08:09 > 0:08:10And when you...
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Oh, no!
0:08:17 > 0:08:19I've got the boat.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24And that's how you... You kayak.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Champion! Whoa!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31DRUM ROLL
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Hey!
0:08:32 > 0:08:34APPLAUSE
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Hey!
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Hey!
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Hey!
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Hey!
0:08:51 > 0:08:53APPLAUSE
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Over!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Hey!- Hey!
0:08:57 > 0:09:01Hello, there. I'm Arthur Sleep, and here's the news.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Celebrity chef Gordon McDougall has announced
0:09:04 > 0:09:06he's invented a new Scottish pudding.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08It's called apple TARTAN.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10He-he, get it? TARTAN!
0:09:10 > 0:09:13That's a cracker, that is. Now we go over to Gail Force,
0:09:13 > 0:09:17looking bonny as ever, somewhere in Scotland. What have you got?
0:09:17 > 0:09:21Yes, thank you, Arthur. Now, I'm here in bonny...
0:09:21 > 0:09:25HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Sorry, Gail, I didn't quite catch that. Where are you?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Well, I'm here in bonny...
0:09:32 > 0:09:34HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Sorry, Gail, I really can't hear you over the bagpipes.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42You'll have to shout.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45SHOUTS: I'm in Scotland!
0:09:45 > 0:09:49Hi, there, wee lassie. What's all the shouting about?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Oh! I said I'm in Scotland...
0:09:52 > 0:09:53HE PLAYS BAGPIPES
0:09:54 > 0:09:56SHOUTS: Hang on, Arthur!
0:09:56 > 0:09:59AIR RUSHES OUT OF BAGPIPES
0:10:00 > 0:10:05Ah, that's better. And that's the news from bonny Scotland.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09Oh, dear. Well, that was a bit of a LET-DOWN.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12LET-DOWN! The old pipes!
0:10:12 > 0:10:15LET-DOWN! I'm too good for this show.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Hello? Yes, I'm available.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19And now this.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Now for more of your giggles.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Hi, Justin. - Hi, Ariel. Have you got a joke?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Yes. What goes, "Ha-ha, bonk?"
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Oh, I don't know. What does go "Ha-ha, bonk?"
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Er, a man laughing his head off.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Oh, no! A man laughing his head off!
0:10:37 > 0:10:39LAUGHTER
0:10:46 > 0:10:48HIS TUMMY RUMBLES
0:10:50 > 0:10:53BUTTONS ON PHONE BLEEP
0:10:53 > 0:10:55PHONE RINGS
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Simon Pieman, at your service.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Need a pie?
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Gotta fly!
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Right! Here we go!
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Whoa!
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Whoa! Whoa!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Aaah! Ha-hey!
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Aiii! Coming through!
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Aaah! Whoa!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Whoa! Whoa!
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Whoa! Whoa!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Watch out!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Wa-ha-hey! Whoa! Coming through!
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Whoa! Whoa!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Whoa! Whoa! Aaah!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Ah! Da-da-da-da!
0:11:46 > 0:11:48One perfect p...
0:11:48 > 0:11:49SQUELCH
0:11:54 > 0:11:55..pie!
0:11:56 > 0:11:57HE SIGHS
0:12:03 > 0:12:08Doctor Doctor will see you now. Next!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Now, how can I help you?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16- Doctor Doctor, I keep seeing double. - Please, sit on the couch.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21- Which one?- D'aii! Next!
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Oh, hello. Nice to see you.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Have a little seat. Give yourself a rest.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Lovely to be out walking, isn't it?
0:12:30 > 0:12:34Mind you, of course, I've got to sit here while he fishes.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Bob!
0:12:36 > 0:12:40I don't know why he bothers, really. He never catches anything.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Nothing at all. Still, it makes him happy,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46and that's what it's all about.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48He's out in the open, the fresh air,
0:12:48 > 0:12:51not getting into trouble or mischief.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Mind you, he's never caught so much as a stickleback.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Still, it's nice to be out in the fresh air.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Bracing, don't you think?
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Yeah. All you can hear is the sound of the water lapping
0:13:03 > 0:13:04and the wind.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08I mean, nothing very much out of the ordinary
0:13:08 > 0:13:09ever happens round here.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Like I say, he never catches anything. Do you, love?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Bless.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18You wouldn't mind holding that, would you, young man?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Oh, thank you. You're a good boy.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun
0:13:24 > 0:13:26# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho
0:13:26 > 0:13:29# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go
0:13:29 > 0:13:32# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye
0:13:34 > 0:13:38# Farewell, TTFN Arrivederci
0:13:38 > 0:13:40# We all hate to say goodbye
0:13:40 > 0:13:42# But we'll be back again
0:13:42 > 0:13:45# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz
0:13:45 > 0:13:48# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho
0:13:48 > 0:13:50# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz
0:13:50 > 0:13:53# Na-na na It's time to go
0:13:53 > 0:13:56# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun
0:13:56 > 0:13:58# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho
0:13:58 > 0:14:02# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go
0:14:02 > 0:14:05# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #