Episode 9

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05It's Gigglebiz!

0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

0:00:13 > 0:00:16# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

0:00:16 > 0:00:19Ho-ho!

0:00:19 > 0:00:20On today's Gigglebiz...

0:00:20 > 0:00:24Rapids Johnson, Dina Lady,

0:00:24 > 0:00:26The Burrito Brothers,

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Rod and Annette.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31And here's Professor Muddles!

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Ooh, nearly. Ooh.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Oh-ho-ho! Nearly had you!

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Ooh! Oh, dear.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Popped.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Oh, dear. This is very tricky.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46Hello there. I'm Professor Bubbles. Er, I mean Muddles.

0:00:46 > 0:00:50Today, we're going to find out how much a bubble weighs.

0:00:50 > 0:00:54First of all, we need a wubble to beigh. I mean, a bubble to weigh.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Right, just give me a minute.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Tricky to catch - they keep popping! Never mind.

0:01:00 > 0:01:05All good scientists have a plan B, and here is mine.

0:01:05 > 0:01:09I'm going to take this can of extra-fizzy drink... Mmm!

0:01:09 > 0:01:13Then I'll trap all of the wubbly bubbles. Er, I mean, lovely bubbles,

0:01:13 > 0:01:16into my timmy. Er, I mean, tummy,

0:01:16 > 0:01:18and weigh myself on here.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Then I shall calculate the answer.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24Here goes. Oh! Now don't forget - don't try this at home.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27I am a trained scientist.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30Oh, dear. It's very fizzy. Pop my straw in.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32SLURPING

0:01:33 > 0:01:34Ah!

0:01:34 > 0:01:37There. Hic! Oh, excuse me!

0:01:37 > 0:01:38Oooh! Hic!

0:01:38 > 0:01:43I think I've - hic! - swallowed too many - hic! - bubbles! Oh, dear!

0:01:43 > 0:01:49I'm Professor Bubbles. Whoa! I mean Muddles. Whoa! Goodbye!

0:01:53 > 0:01:57Ha'way, bairns. Keith Fit here, doing a spot of golf.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Now, sometimes your ball ends up in a bunker.

0:02:00 > 0:02:04A bunker is a big hole in the ground, filled with sand.

0:02:04 > 0:02:09But no worries. I've been getting out of bunkers for...20 year, Tone?

0:02:09 > 0:02:1020 year.

0:02:10 > 0:02:14We'll need a special club, called a sand wedge.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Tone, pass us a sand wedge, mate.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20Here it comes now. Beautiful. Right, you take... No, man!

0:02:20 > 0:02:26Oh, Tone! Not a sandwich! A sand wedge!

0:02:26 > 0:02:27Oh, Tone!

0:02:27 > 0:02:31Always playing jokes on me when I'm trying to play golf!

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Cheers, Tone. I don't know.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37All right. Watch and learn, bairns. Watch and learn.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40You give your ball a big whack

0:02:40 > 0:02:43and it'll go out the sand. OK. Here we go.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Ha'way!

0:02:50 > 0:02:54And that's how you get out of a bunker. Champion!

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Doctor Doctor will see you now!

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Next!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Now, what seems to be the problem?

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10I'll DEAL with you later!

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Next!

0:03:13 > 0:03:19Oh, hello. How nice to meet you. Sit yourself down. Have a little rest.

0:03:19 > 0:03:23I mean, I've GOT to sit here, of course, while he fishes.

0:03:23 > 0:03:24Ho!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Hee-hee. Sweet.

0:03:26 > 0:03:30I don't know why he bothers - he never catches anything.

0:03:30 > 0:03:35Nothing at all. And today, he says he'll catch a really big fish.

0:03:35 > 0:03:41Imagine that - a really big fish. I mean, he never catches anything!

0:03:41 > 0:03:42Nothing at all.

0:03:42 > 0:03:43SHE LAUGHS

0:03:43 > 0:03:45I shouldn't laugh, really.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49It keeps him happy. At the end of the day, that's what it's about.

0:03:49 > 0:03:54He's out in the open, the fresh air. Not getting into trouble or mischief.

0:03:54 > 0:03:58I get a bit of peace and quiet, time to myself.

0:03:58 > 0:04:03Oh, you know what we need? A nice cup of tea.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Warming inside.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09I mean, catch a big fish! He never catches anything!

0:04:09 > 0:04:10Do you, love?

0:04:11 > 0:04:12Bless!

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Mm!

0:04:17 > 0:04:22So Delia said, "Can I have your mince pie recipe, Dina?"

0:04:22 > 0:04:26I said, "You get back in the queue and wait with everyone else."

0:04:26 > 0:04:30I don't know. Oh, hello there, my little wind chimes.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34Welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37This is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Say hello, Tommy.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Hello, Tommy.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46Today we're making one of MY favourite recipes.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Choux buns.- Yay!

0:04:49 > 0:04:52All right, Tommy. Rein it in.

0:04:52 > 0:04:58I've laid out some fresh pastry, and we've got some whipped cream.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Take the cream. Oh...oopsie!

0:05:01 > 0:05:05I've forgotten the most important part! Back in a mo.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08- Who's my little tiger?- Me.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Now, some pastry is thick and flat,

0:05:13 > 0:05:17but this is a special type of puffy pastry, known as choux.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20It's a French word. That's why we call them choux buns.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Nothing to do with the shoes on your feet!

0:05:23 > 0:05:26What are you chuntering on about?

0:05:26 > 0:05:31- I was telling the viewers about choux pastry.- What? Oh, no, no, no.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35Nice boy. Daft, though.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.

0:05:37 > 0:05:42- Take your pastry and place your shoe on top.- Dina, you're not...

0:05:42 > 0:05:44You are, aren't you?

0:05:44 > 0:05:49And then, place some lovely whipped cream in your shoe!

0:05:49 > 0:05:53I like quite a lot of whipped cream, I do. There we are.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Don't try this at home!

0:05:56 > 0:06:01Then roll the pastry around the shoe, like so,

0:06:01 > 0:06:05and finish it off with a tiny bit of chocolate sauce.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10There. Delicious!

0:06:10 > 0:06:12One shoe bun!

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Easy as pie.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18See you next time, my little crinkle-cut chips!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Now, if you're on a diet, use a flip-flop.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23But if you're hungry, use a wader.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Now it's time for your giggles.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33What has keys but can't open locks?

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Oh, I don't know. What keys can't open locks?

0:06:36 > 0:06:38The keys on the piano.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42Oh, no! Piano keys, of course! Good one.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Ha'way, bairns. Keith Fit here.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Back in the bunker, but neh worries,

0:06:53 > 0:06:56because my motto is, if at first you don't succeed,

0:06:56 > 0:07:00give it a good whack. Isn't that right, Tony?

0:07:00 > 0:07:03He knows. He's been playing golf for 20 year.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Right, watch and learn. Watch and learn.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25What? Eh? Neh bother.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32Champion! And that's how you play golf.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36APPLAUSE

0:07:36 > 0:07:38ALL: Hey!

0:07:42 > 0:07:43HE COUGHS

0:07:45 > 0:07:48HE COUGHS

0:07:49 > 0:07:51HE COUGHS

0:08:02 > 0:08:03ALL: Hey!

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Hey!

0:08:32 > 0:08:34Hey!

0:08:34 > 0:08:35APPLAUSE

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Now then, let's see what we have in here, shall we?

0:08:49 > 0:08:54Oh, I say! Now this is truly beautiful.

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Do you know what it is?

0:08:55 > 0:08:59- Yeah, it's a carpet. - That's right, it's a carpet.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01But do you know where it's from?

0:09:01 > 0:09:04Not really, but I know where it's going.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Well, let me tell you. It's a Turkish banqueting carpet.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10It's in wonderful condition.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Let's have a feel of how... Oh, I say! It's very soft.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17Oh, yes, and such a beautiful colour. It's lovely.

0:09:17 > 0:09:22I think I'll have a little lie down. Lovely! Very comfortable.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Please yourself. It's not mine.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28Now, this rug was probably made... Oh, I say! What's going on?

0:09:28 > 0:09:33Erm, yes... Well, I'm... quite literally moving on!

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Doctor Doctor will see you now.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Next!

0:09:41 > 0:09:47- Now, what seems to be the problem? - Doctor Doctor, I think I'm a snail.

0:09:47 > 0:09:51Don't worry, we'll soon have you out of your shell. Ha!

0:09:51 > 0:09:53Next!

0:09:53 > 0:09:56Hello, I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

0:09:56 > 0:10:00Oh, thank you very much, Doreen. This just in.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Oh, dear. Oh, right.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Oh, dear me.

0:10:05 > 0:10:10Right. I'll have the jacket potato with chips, beans, salad

0:10:10 > 0:10:13and some anchovies on the top. Thanks, Doreen.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Now we go over to Gail Force for our special report. Gail.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21Don't forget to grate the cheese, Doreen. She always forgets.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Oh, my! Yes, hello, Arthur.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29Well, today, I'm here in a sports field and as you can see

0:10:29 > 0:10:32behind me, there are some boxers.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Oh!

0:10:36 > 0:10:41I meant BOXERS not BOXES.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Back to the studio, Arthur.

0:10:46 > 0:10:51Thanks there, Gail. That report certainly packed a punch.

0:10:51 > 0:10:55Ha-ha! Packed a punch - get it? They're boxers, aren't they?

0:10:55 > 0:10:59I'm wasted here. I should be at The Palladium. Now this.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Hello. I'm Johnson Rapids. I mean, Rapids Johnson. Ha-ha!

0:11:04 > 0:11:08Still searching for the giant panda. As we know, these animals

0:11:08 > 0:11:13are very shy, so I thought I'd try out my new panda call.

0:11:13 > 0:11:18Ha-ha! See if it works. Ready? Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Ugh, ugh, ugh!

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Oh, oh, ah, ah, ah!

0:11:21 > 0:11:23Let's see if it's worked. Oh, nothing!

0:11:23 > 0:11:27Let's try again, shall we? Practise makes perfect. Ready?

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Oh, ah, eh!

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!

0:11:33 > 0:11:35That might have worked.

0:11:35 > 0:11:40Oh, blast! Nothing again. Never mind, I will find that giant panda,

0:11:40 > 0:11:44or my name's not, er... Rapids Johnson. Keep 'em peeled.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Oh, oh, oh!

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Now for more of your giggles.

0:11:50 > 0:11:54- Hey, Justin.- Hey, Alisa. Have you got a joke?

0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Yes.- Great, what is it?

0:11:57 > 0:12:00What's a mouse's favourite game?

0:12:00 > 0:12:03I don't know, what is a mouse's favourite game?

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Hide and squeak.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Hey! Hide and squeak!

0:12:12 > 0:12:17Ha'way, bairns. Keith Fit here, back on the golf course.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Now, last time, I showed you how to whack the ball with a club,

0:12:21 > 0:12:25but it was the wrong club. So I'm getting help from my caddy, Tony.

0:12:25 > 0:12:29Tony's been my caddy for 20 year, isn't that right, Tone?

0:12:29 > 0:12:33A caddy helps you to pick the right club for the job.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35OK, Tone, can I have a driver, please?

0:12:35 > 0:12:37A driver is a big club.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Oh, beautiful! Look at that beast.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44OK. Now we're going to whack the ball as hard as we can.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Stand back, Tone.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49Watch and learn, bairns, watch and learn. OK.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Away!

0:12:56 > 0:12:59It's all right, don't... I'm all right. Oh!

0:13:02 > 0:13:05And that's how you play golf. Champion!

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Oh, Tone, my back...

0:13:09 > 0:13:13Hello, I'm Rapids Johnson and I'm here at the beach.

0:13:13 > 0:13:18I don't know why, because there's no chance of seeing a giant panda.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21Thank you. So I've decided to go home.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23Ah! Keep 'em peeled.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

0:13:29 > 0:13:31# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

0:13:31 > 0:13:35# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

0:13:35 > 0:13:37# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go

0:13:37 > 0:13:40# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

0:13:40 > 0:13:43# Farewell, T-T-F-N Arrivederci

0:13:43 > 0:13:47# We all hate to say goodbye But we'll be back again

0:13:47 > 0:13:51# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

0:13:51 > 0:13:53# Na, na, na, na Ho-ho-ho

0:13:53 > 0:13:56# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

0:13:56 > 0:13:58# Na, na, na, It's time to go

0:13:58 > 0:14:01# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

0:14:01 > 0:14:03# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

0:14:03 > 0:14:06# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

0:14:06 > 0:14:09# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go. #

0:14:09 > 0:14:12E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk