0:00:03 > 0:00:05# You gotta watch this
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# You gotta watch this
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# You gotta watch this!
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# My, my, my, my programme hits you
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# So hard, makes me say, oh my word
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# Thank you for watching me
0:00:19 > 0:00:21# It's telly but not what you normally see
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# It feels good There's out-takes too
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Comedy, guests and clips It's true
0:00:25 > 0:00:27# So sit back, don't eat too much
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# This is the show you can't touch
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- #- Stop!- Hacker time! #
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39Hello! I'm Hacker, and this is Hacker Time.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41It's a right good show, you know.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Coming up, we've got this,
0:00:44 > 0:00:46this,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48and these.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50It's going to be a great show.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Nothing can possibly go wrong.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Huh!
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Herman!
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- Herman! - HERMAN SNORES
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Why have you sped up the music?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Herman!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07No-o-o!
0:01:13 > 0:01:18Oh, budgies. That was supposed to be my big posh beginning bit.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Derek! Play the first tape!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Ooh, heck. Uh, running them!
0:01:23 > 0:01:26I'm livid here. Ooh, me spinal column.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Ow!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32So what have the boys got to do?
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- Right, today, the boys... - THEY LAUGH
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Let them have a minute.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39'This lot have all got the giggles! Look at them!'
0:01:43 > 0:01:47THEY ALL LAUGH
0:01:47 > 0:01:49It's his fault!
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Ooh. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Ho-ho-ho-ho.
0:01:57 > 0:02:01MUSIC: "Smile" by The Supernaturals
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Are you all right?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17I can't believe I did that.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Ha-ha-ha, what a load of nonsense!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25More hilarious LOLs like that later.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27WALTZING MUSIC
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Left-two-three, right two-three...
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Wally, you've got two left feet when it comes to dancing, you heffalump!
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Hacker! Your guest's here!
0:02:36 > 0:02:39You're going to like this. It's today's guest!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Although he doesn't know it yet.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42SCARY MUSIC
0:02:44 > 0:02:50Ooh, sequinned shirt? Brilliant!
0:02:51 > 0:02:56Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's very special guest,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Strictly Come Dancing's Anton Du Beke.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Special guest?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06I'm here for the sequinned shirt sale.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- Hello, Anton!- Oh, hello, young lady.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13Lady? How dare you? I've got boy bits.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16I'm sorry. Are you running the sequinned shirt sale?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Because I could do with a few new spangly numbers.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I was thinking maybe something purple or orange.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Look, Anthony, I'm not going to lie to you.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25There are no sequinned shirts.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27No sequinned shirts?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30It's all been a clever and elaborate ruse to get you here.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Lock the doors, Derek!
0:03:34 > 0:03:38I'm Hacker the dog, and you're going to be today's guest on my show.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42- Your show? Will I... will I be on camera?- Yeah.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Can I get to do some dancing?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Oh, if you must.- How about that?
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Will you sit down, please.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Now, Anton,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52I thought I'd give the viewers at home a chance to find out
0:03:52 > 0:03:55if there's more to you than fancy dancing outfits.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58So I made this fact file. Have a look. Push that red lever.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02'Anton Du Beke is a dancer on Strictly Come Dancing.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05'It's a show where he takes ladies who can't dance
0:04:05 > 0:04:09'and teaches them how to dance a tiny weeny bit better.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12'He always looks very graceful. Look!
0:04:12 > 0:04:14'And here!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16'And here...no, oh well.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19'At least he's always well-dressed.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20'What the budgies?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22'Oh, it's Anton Du Beke.'
0:04:22 > 0:04:25You wear some strange clobber, don't you?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28I rather like it, actually.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29It's hideous.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Now, Anton, you think you're pretty good at dancing, don't you?
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Well, yes, I do think that, yes.
0:04:36 > 0:04:41You've got a lot to learn, Mr Beak. I can make you even betterer.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42You?
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Yeah. Watch and learn, dear boy, watch and indeed learn.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Blue lever!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Welcome to the Betterer Arena!
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Today I'll show you how to become the bettererest dancer
0:04:55 > 0:04:57in a few simple steps.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Step one is simple. To dance, you have to look cool.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06I'll just go and get ready.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Hello? Hello, dogface?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11I'm here for the dancing.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Not dressed like that, you're not. Get out of it!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Oh, but it's silken.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Y'all right? Let's get this disco started.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24- I'm the party animal and I'm ready to be let off the leash.- Sorry, Gary.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28The uncool party for uncool people is next door.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Is it? Right, I'll go there, then.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Yo!
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Forget the sequins and the fake tan,
0:05:34 > 0:05:36this is what makes me the ultimate dancer.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37Hit it!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39MUSIC: "Bob The Builder" theme
0:05:39 > 0:05:40What are you doing with that?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43This is not my music. Turn that off! It's not mine!
0:05:45 > 0:05:49Stupid DJ! Right, so I look the part now.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52It's time to get me a dream dance partner.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Yes, just waiting for my dancing partner to arrive...
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs Crab-Fossay, can you move on, please?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01I'm waiting for a dream dance partner.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- Why? I am your ultimate dance partner, little pup.- What?
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- But look at the state of you! - Now, now. Let's dance. Hit it!
0:06:09 > 0:06:11MUSIC PLAYS
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Ow! Get off me! Fossay! Crab-Fossay!
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- You're going to stand on me foot! - CRUNCH
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Ah! Get off me! - Oh, nonsense. Don't be such a softy.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Come on, I'll swing you around a bit.- No, you won't!
0:06:22 > 0:06:26Ow, get off me!
0:06:26 > 0:06:28No! Crab-Fossay!
0:06:28 > 0:06:29CRASH
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Whoopsie!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Right, step three. Let's go extreme.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Do not try this at home! I am a professional. Hit it!
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Here we go, stand by.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Here's the back flip!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49And now the legendary cartwheel.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55And now, the extreme ice cube flip 4000!
0:06:56 > 0:06:57CRASH
0:06:57 > 0:07:02See that, Du Beke? I am a betterer dancer than you.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05So you meant to hurt yourself there, did you?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Dear man, that was merely an expression of my inner anguish
0:07:08 > 0:07:10through the power of dance and that.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15I'm glad you're here, Anton, because I need to ask you about Len Goodman,
0:07:15 > 0:07:17that judge man off Strictly Come Dancing.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Oh, yeah. Lenny.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23He's a good judge, but he's not got a lot to say for himself, has he?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Oh, yes, he has.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Well, he's always on about the same stuff, in my experience.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Watch this, I'll give him a ring.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Hello? Hello, Len.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Leonard, yeah, it's Hacker. - Put it on speakerphone.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42Hi Len, I just phoned for a little chat, you all right?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44What time shall we meet for dinner tonight?
0:07:44 > 0:07:48- Seven.- Ooh. How many people are you bringing with you?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Seven. - Crikey, that's a lot.- It is a lot.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53How many courses are we eating?
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- Seven. - Oh, wowser!- He must be hungry.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Yeah, he's starving. Hey, can you pick me up, Len?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Do you remember what number I live at?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- Seven. - Yeah, that's right.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05While we're here, I've got a few more questions for you.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07What's your favourite number?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Seven. - What's half of 14?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- Seven. - How many days are there in a week?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- Seven. - What time was dinner again?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Seven.- Do you want me to bring Anton with me?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18No.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20PHONE GOES DEAD
0:08:20 > 0:08:21He must have hung up.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- That's a bit...rude.- Bit harsh that, wasn't it?- Bit harsh.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Anyway, Anton, let's talk about you.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I want to find out more about dancing.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Do you want me to show you some of my brilliant ballroom moves?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Er, yeah, later. I've got some questions for you first.
0:08:35 > 0:08:40- OK.- What is your favourite dance to do? Mine is the macarena.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, oo-oo-ooh.
0:08:42 > 0:08:47I think I'd like to join you in one of those, actually.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48That was rather good.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50You also do that Hole In The Wall show, don't you?
0:08:50 > 0:08:53- Brilliant. - What are your top three walls?
0:08:53 > 0:08:57I like... I like a small wall at the end of the garden.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00I like a blindfolded wall,
0:09:00 > 0:09:02and I like a Perspex wall.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Odd.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Anton, do you weigh...an ton?
0:09:08 > 0:09:09No.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Ha-ha, I like that. Now, how long have you... Oh, excuse me a minute.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15How long have you been...
0:09:15 > 0:09:17How long have you...
0:09:17 > 0:09:19WILL YOU STOP IT, TIMMY?
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Oh, Hacker, stop upsetting Anton with your stupid questions.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Hey, look at the new dance I learnt.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31First you go that way, then you go that way, and then you...
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Jump for your life! Yaah!
0:09:32 > 0:09:36I'm not so sure about the last bit.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40- Ow! - Ah! Stop it! Oh, that's got it.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42So how long have you been...
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Um, oh, forgotten the question. Never mind, eh?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Let's do something else.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Shall we watch some people falling over dancing?
0:09:50 > 0:09:55Or we could see some of my amazing dancing moves.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Later, Anthony, I've told you that. Now press that thing!
0:10:01 > 0:10:06MUSIC: "Better The Devil You Know" by Kylie Minogue
0:10:06 > 0:10:09'Nice dance routine here, yeah. All looking good.'
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- SMACK - 'Oh! Right in the thumbsquadge.'
0:10:14 > 0:10:16PIANO MUSIC
0:10:16 > 0:10:18'Very graceful, very elegant.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20'Oi! Watch it, love!
0:10:22 > 0:10:26'Ooh, what a good dancer he is, ain't he, in his skates there.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28'Ooh, look!'
0:10:30 > 0:10:33MUSIC: "Hot Hot Hot" by Arrow
0:10:37 > 0:10:43'Oh, Strictly Come Dancing. They never go wrong on this. Never.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46'Hang on a minute, what's going on here?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48'Oh, his microphone's gone adrift.
0:10:51 > 0:10:56Hold on, just a minute. Whoa, whoa, wait. Hold it.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58I'm so sorry!
0:10:58 > 0:11:02- Can we have another go? Please can we have another go?- The microphone...
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Please, please, please!
0:11:04 > 0:11:05The microphone came off.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09OK, get the microphone in the right place or get rid of the damn thing.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Who's this? Who are you?
0:11:20 > 0:11:21LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:11:21 > 0:11:24OK!
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Let us know when you're ready, my darlings. Don't worry.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30When something happens like that, that's show business.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35What a load of Charlies.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Right, Du Beke,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I have some more questions for you.
0:11:38 > 0:11:43- Fire away.- And take them seriously! This is the proper educational bit.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Lights, please, Herman!
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Y'awroight, Hacker.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Bust your ultimate dance move.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- I've got this one for you. Ready?- Yeah.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Needs a bit of work. Right, sit down.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Right, what score would you give this dance move?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Very excitable!
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- I'd give you...two!- Oh, I'll take that, that's all right.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15And who would you most like to have your last dance with?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Oh...
0:12:17 > 0:12:18It's got to be the lovely Tess Daly.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Ah, Tess Daly from Strictly.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21HOOTER BLOWS
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Well, that's what you think, Anton.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27But take a look at what me and some real people got up to the other day
0:12:27 > 0:12:29when we talked dance.
0:12:29 > 0:12:30Hit the old switcheroo.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Hello!- Hi.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- Who would you most like to dance with?- You.- Me?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39We can make that happen for you.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Grab my hand, since we're dancing. Ready?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Ah-ah-ee, ooh-ah-ah-ah...
0:12:44 > 0:12:48- Hello!- Hello.- Who would you most like to dance with?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- My brother.- Your brother, is he a good dancer?- Not really.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- I'm a good dancer, ain't I? - Yeah, you're quite good, aren't you?
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- Like that.- Yeah, perfect.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- And who would you most like to dance with?- Beyonce.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- Justin Bieber.- Justin Timberlake.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- Diversity.- Madonna.- Beyonce.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- Dodge.- Dodge?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11My brother Dodge? Why do you want to dance with him and not me?
0:13:11 > 0:13:15- Because he's more funky. - He's got nothing on me!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17This lot know a lot about dancing,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20so I'm going to show them my best dance move,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23and these three are going to judge me using their fabulous scorecards.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- Are you ready?- Yeah.- Are you ready? - Yeah.- Ready?- Yeah.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Right, I'm going to dance for you now.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Yeah!
0:13:40 > 0:13:44- One.- One? That's rubbish, why one? Was I no good?
0:13:44 > 0:13:49- No.- But I've been practising that dance since the day I was born.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54- A one.- One? How come a measly one? - Cos you're just all over the place.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57- Five.- Five? Why?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Because it was all over the place and it was crazy.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04I am classically trained. I won't stand for this nonsense!
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- Number ten.- A ten? Oh, why a ten?
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Because you were just so fast and good.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Yes, I was, so if you add them all up...ten plus one...
0:14:14 > 0:14:18That is 100! I get 100 points! Huzzah!
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- Hello.- Hello.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25- Would you stand up, please, and bust your best dance move?- OK.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Very good.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Got dandruff?
0:14:46 > 0:14:49That's very good. What do you call that dance move?
0:14:49 > 0:14:54- I don't know its name. - The Windscreen Wipers, I call that.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58There we have it. We've learned lots of great dance moves.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02Some of them I'll put into practice next time I go to the discotheque.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05Thank you.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Wasn't that a LOL?
0:15:07 > 0:15:08ANTON CHUCKLES
0:15:08 > 0:15:13Right, Mr Anthony Du Beak, you are a dancer on Strictly Come Dancing.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Have there ever been
0:15:14 > 0:15:18any of the celebrity dancing people that you didn't like?
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Of course they were all lovely people.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26Kara Tointon and Matt Baker and lovely Ann Widdecombe.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28They're all so nice.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Likes the sound of his own voice, that one.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Look at that! A button.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Oh, do not push? Spoils all my fun.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Doesn't say do not press, though.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45Pressing is different to pushing. Give it an innocent press.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Ha!
0:15:46 > 0:15:48BOOM!
0:15:52 > 0:15:54SIRENS WAIL
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Oh, that's not ideal, is it?
0:15:58 > 0:16:04- I couldn't bear him. Explosive stuff, eh?- I didn't explode anything!
0:16:04 > 0:16:09It wasn't me. I've been sat here all along. You can't prove anything!
0:16:09 > 0:16:14- Prove what?- The building that just exploded. I didn't push the button.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Um, nothing. Not a thing, no.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- What a strange creature you are. - Oh, thank you.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- I've got some good news for you. - Is it time for my dancing?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- In a minute, Anthony. Warm up or something.- I'll just...
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Mind your hamstring or whatever it is.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36The good news is the show's not over yet. Derek, run the menu.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39Oh, yeah.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Still to come today - this,
0:16:42 > 0:16:44this,
0:16:44 > 0:16:47and this... Who's he? He's not in it!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Quick, Derek, play some Howlers.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Hey, look at them dancing.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Strictly fell down, eh?
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Ha ha! What's he doing?
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Oh, no.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Oops. Look.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Ha ha.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Oh, she slipped.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10It's not nice.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Oh, madam.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Ooh!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15No, he's fine.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Ha ha. She fell down.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Play that guitar.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Look at 'em showing off.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Ha ha.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Oh, damage to the staging!
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Ladies and gentlemen, you're watching Hacker Time.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Now, performing his big dance number,
0:17:40 > 0:17:43will Anton du Beke please take to the floor?
0:17:43 > 0:17:48- You could have got me one that fitted!- Ha ha!
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Hit it!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51TANGO MUSIC PLAYS
0:17:55 > 0:17:58Is that it, du Beke? Out the way, move out.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Hit it!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe
0:18:01 > 0:18:02# I'd be married long time ago
0:18:02 > 0:18:04# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06# Where did you come from... #
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- That's rubbish.- What?- Hit it!
0:18:08 > 0:18:10LIFT MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:13 > 0:18:17Right, get out of it. I'm the dancer round here. Hit it!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe
0:18:19 > 0:18:21# I'd be married long time ago
0:18:21 > 0:18:24# Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where... #
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- Take a hike, dog breath.- Cheeky.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Hit it!
0:18:29 > 0:18:31BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Stop showing off and move on. I'll show you. Hit it!
0:18:39 > 0:18:40# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe
0:18:40 > 0:18:42# I'd be married long time ago
0:18:42 > 0:18:44# Where did you come from? Where did you go?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46# Where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe? #
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Exhausted! I don't know if I can keep this up...
0:18:51 > 0:18:53CRASH!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Is that it?
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Aye, that's proper good dancing.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02That was rubbish.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06- Even my pet ferret can dance better than that.- Have very dare you?
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Derek, bring on the wall.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13HE CHUCKLES
0:19:13 > 0:19:14What a nonsense.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19While he sorts himself out, here's some glamorous posh stuff to watch.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23There's not enough dogs on telly - don't you agree, Anton?
0:19:23 > 0:19:25What ever you say, Hacker.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Good, he agrees.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Me and Dodge have made our own doggy TV show. Wey-hey! Have a look.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35It's called Downstairs Abbey. It's right good.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48'I, Dogtina, am in love, and even though I'm just a little maid,
0:19:48 > 0:19:53'I'm in love with a lord - my master, Lord Percy.'
0:19:53 > 0:19:56- DOGTINA SIGHS - Lord Percy!
0:19:56 > 0:20:02Dogtina, you can't be in love with Lord Percy. I love him.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04I'm the one who cuts his toenails.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06I cut them too. I've kept some in a jar.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10That is weird.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12BELL RINGS
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Oh, Lord Percy, Lord Percy. I'll go.- No, I'll go.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Stop it!
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Ah, girls. I've got some exciting news.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23I'm going to throw a big party
0:20:23 > 0:20:26and I shall invite the lovely Lady Sarah.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30- Ooh, a party. - I've got nothing to wear.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34No, you won't be coming. But you will be doing all the work.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37I need you to write the invitations,
0:20:37 > 0:20:40send invitations, tidy up, mop, dust, buy party food,
0:20:40 > 0:20:44cook party food, buy decorations, choose music
0:20:44 > 0:20:46and then prepare party games.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Let's go and get a milky brew.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51< Where have you gone?!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53What about the party?
0:20:53 > 0:20:57There isn't going to be a party! Ha ha ha!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- COUGHS - Hold on.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- So, Lord Percy, who is here? - Why, Lady Sarah,
0:21:05 > 0:21:10I have invited dozens of the finest people from all over the county.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Behold!
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Y'all right?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18What? Where is everyone? Who are you?
0:21:18 > 0:21:23- I'm just a humble penniless tramp. - I didn't invite you.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26I heard there was a party, so I came in off the street.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Where are those vol-au-vents?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Get out.- Charming.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33HACKERELLA! DOGTINA!
0:21:33 > 0:21:37Where is everyone? This is a disaster.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39At least Lady Sarah is still here.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- I'm going, Lord Percy.- What?
0:21:42 > 0:21:46I've fallen for the musky charm of this handsome gentleman.
0:21:46 > 0:21:51- We plan to elope together. - Yeah, what she said. Ta ra!
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Lady Sarah!
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Oh, she's gone. Cruel, fickle woman.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Why can't I find someone sensible?
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Sensible like you, Hackerella.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06In fact, Hackerella, do you...?
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Do I...?
0:22:07 > 0:22:10ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Do you...know anyone? There's no-one round here.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Oh, budgies.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Oh, what brilliant acting I did then.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- Brilliant. - Thanks for being on my show.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34You've done well for yourself.
0:22:34 > 0:22:39Thanks. I had a lovely time, apart from that nasty wall incident.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41We'll just skim over that.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Time to see if the judges thought you were a good guest.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Your scores for Anton du Beak.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- Du Beke.- Bless you.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Ladies and gentlemen, the judges' scores. Craig Revel Horwood.
0:22:53 > 0:22:542!
0:22:54 > 0:22:55CROWD GROANS
0:22:56 > 0:22:59I'll see to this. Come here, Revel Horwood.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02You're a disgrace, Revel Horwood.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Ooh!
0:23:04 > 0:23:08Don't get any ideas - there's more where that came from.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11And tidy up round here! It's a pigsty.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17You won't have a problem now. Judges, have another go.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Craig Revel Horwood.
0:23:18 > 0:23:1910!
0:23:19 > 0:23:21CROWD CHEERS
0:23:21 > 0:23:22Yeah! Thanks, Hacker.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Let's see how that puts you on my guest leader board.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31Oh, look, you're at the top. Well done, Anton.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33The door's over there. Goodbye.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37- Is that it, then?- Yep, that's about enough of you. See you.
0:23:37 > 0:23:43- Oh, I'll... Exit music. OK. - Derek, unlock the doors.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- Bye, then.- Off you pop.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48- Bye.- Mind your head.- Bye.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53- And shut the door. It's freezing in here.- Bye.- Thank you.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I thought he was never going to go.
0:23:55 > 0:24:00Right, it's time now for some of my favourite LOLs from round the world.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04It's Hacker's Top 5 Dancing Howlers!
0:24:06 > 0:24:11At 5, this dog is nearly as good at dancing as me - look.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12# Too cold
0:24:12 > 0:24:14# Ice, ice, baby
0:24:14 > 0:24:16# Too cold
0:24:16 > 0:24:18# Ice, ice, baby. #
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Ha ha. What a mover. He's not as good as this, though.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24# Too cold
0:24:24 > 0:24:26# Ice, ice, baby. #
0:24:28 > 0:24:33At 4, these musical pop-star types are larking about on treadmills.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34Look.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36MUSIC: "Here It Goes" by OK Go
0:25:12 > 0:25:15They'll get fit if they keep that up.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20In at 3, in't breakdancing impressive?
0:25:20 > 0:25:24Well, it's even more betterer when it's done by fingers. Look.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Ha ha. Look. He's got shoes on his fingers!
0:25:47 > 0:25:51I normally think weddings are dead boring and grown-up,
0:25:51 > 0:25:54but look at what they got up to at the reception.
0:25:54 > 0:25:59# Butterfly kisses at night... #
0:25:59 > 0:26:01RECORD SCRATCHES
0:26:01 > 0:26:05You might be missing some of the benefits of stereo.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07# YMCA
0:26:07 > 0:26:11# It's fun to stay at the YMCA
0:26:11 > 0:26:15# They have everything for young men to enjoy
0:26:15 > 0:26:18# You can hang out with all the boys. #
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Well done, sir. You were marvellous.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27And at 1, dancing is good, trombones are good,
0:26:27 > 0:26:32but look what happens when you put them both together.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52What's he like?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05That's all I've got time for today.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09CBBC probably want to put another episode of Tracy Beaker on.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Thanks to that dancing mad man Anton du Beke for coming in.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16We've just got time for my brilliant song.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Ba-ba, da-da!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# That is it for now The end of the show
0:27:24 > 0:27:26# I need the lav so I'm going to go
0:27:26 > 0:27:29# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:29 > 0:27:31# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:27:31 > 0:27:33# We've had a LOL or two watching some clips
0:27:33 > 0:27:36# I laughed so hard that I nearly was sick
0:27:36 > 0:27:38# I'll show you more funny stuff when I'm next on
0:27:38 > 0:27:40# Who needs other telly shows? Mine's the best one
0:27:40 > 0:27:45# Thanks to my special guest The dancer, Anton du Beke
0:27:45 > 0:27:48# He's quite good at dancing and that
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# But everyone knows that I'm the best
0:27:51 > 0:27:53# That is it for now The end of the show
0:27:53 > 0:27:55# I need the lav-lav so I'm going to go
0:27:55 > 0:27:57# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:57 > 0:28:00# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:28:00 > 0:28:02# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:28:02 > 0:28:06# That is the end of today's Hacker Time! #
0:28:06 > 0:28:07Thank you!