Helen Skelton

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04# You gotta watch this... #

0:00:04 > 0:00:06Pffft!

0:00:06 > 0:00:09# You gotta watch this

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# You gotta watch this

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# My, my, my, my programme hits you So hard

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Makes me say Oh, my word!

0:00:18 > 0:00:20# Thank you for watching me It's telly

0:00:20 > 0:00:21# But not what you normally see

0:00:21 > 0:00:23# It feels good And there's out-takes, too

0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Comedy, guests and clips It's true

0:00:25 > 0:00:27# So sit back, don't move too much This is a show

0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Ha! You can't touch

0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Stop! Hacker time! #

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you.

0:00:36 > 0:00:40One perfectly polished floor. Splendid!

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Eh, look, we're on. Hacker!

0:00:42 > 0:00:47Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the star of the show, Hacker T Dog.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48You all right, cockers? Ow!

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Owww!

0:00:50 > 0:00:52What the...? Oh, do it again.

0:00:52 > 0:00:57Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the star of the show, Hacker T Dog.

0:00:57 > 0:00:58You all right, cockers? Ow!

0:00:58 > 0:01:00CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES

0:01:00 > 0:01:01What's going on here?

0:01:01 > 0:01:02Oh, for goodness' sake.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the star, Hacker T Dog.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08You all right, cockers?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10I'm Hacker The Dog and you're watching Hacker Time!

0:01:12 > 0:01:13Oh, bodges!

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Coming up, there's some of this...

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Plenty of this...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20And a bit of this...

0:01:20 > 0:01:22I'm damaged.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25Quick, Derek, play some howlers.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26Ooh, I'm broken.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34They'll never guess where the buzzer is(!)

0:01:36 > 0:01:38I missed the ball!

0:01:39 > 0:01:41Your pizza, sir.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Where have you been?

0:01:43 > 0:01:45Oh, I fell off me hook.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47I've been here for four years.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50- Four years!- Yes.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Why didn't you just ring the doorbell?

0:01:52 > 0:01:54Because doorb...

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Uh-oh!

0:02:00 > 0:02:02And it was... Argh! Ha ha ha!

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Oh, that's not funny. I'm soaked!

0:02:15 > 0:02:19Ha, ha-ha! Oh, ho ho ho! Oh, what a load of cha-os, eh?

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Stay watching.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25I've got loads more funny stuff to show you later,

0:02:25 > 0:02:27isn't that right, Derek?

0:02:27 > 0:02:28That's right, Hacker.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Now look lively, lad.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Today's guest is on her way.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Have a look at who'll be getting amongst it today.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Not that she knows it yet.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38It's Helen from Blue Peter.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42SHE READS SIGN

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Perfect! That is exactly what I'm looking for.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's very special guest,

0:02:55 > 0:02:59Blue Peter hair-raiser, Helen Skelton.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01What the...? Special guest?

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Are you all right, Helen?- Oh, hiya, Hacker, are you all right?

0:03:04 > 0:03:07I'm looking for that meeting about the scary challenge.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10I really think it's time I climbed Everest.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12- I've never jumped out of a plane and I...- No, no, no!

0:03:12 > 0:03:14- No, it's much harder than that. - Perfect!

0:03:14 > 0:03:17I am so glad you are up for me doing a scary challenge.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20- No-one encourages me to do these things.- Whoa, whoa!

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Calm yourself. You'll have to wait.

0:03:22 > 0:03:23We've got some stuff to do first.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25You're today's guest on my show!

0:03:25 > 0:03:26Guest?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28- Show?- Yeah.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30I don't know if I've got time.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33I've got the dog to walk and a lot of scary things to find.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36Don't worry, you'll love it. It's a dead good show and that.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38And I smell much better than that Barney...Harwood.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42All right. Well, I'll stick around for a bit.

0:03:42 > 0:03:46But only if you promise to tell me about this scary, impossible,

0:03:46 > 0:03:48crazy challenge that you've lined up, because...

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you, sure. But first, watch this.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53It's a fact-file thingy about you.

0:03:53 > 0:03:54Push that red lever.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Helen Skelton presents Blue Peter.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01And is best known for liking big, hairy challenges.

0:04:01 > 0:04:06Helen's always doing lots of amazing daredevil antics and that.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09Like breaking two world records rowing down the Amazon river.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Running three marathons back to back in the Namibian desert.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15And, most of all... cleaning a chair?!

0:04:15 > 0:04:16What's she up to?

0:04:16 > 0:04:18What's that all about, eh?

0:04:18 > 0:04:20What's she like?!

0:04:20 > 0:04:21It's Helen Skelton.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24What was that chair thing all about?

0:04:24 > 0:04:26It's not a chair. It's a throne.

0:04:26 > 0:04:27And I was cleaning it with spit.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29What, like this? Hwock-puh!

0:04:29 > 0:04:32- No! That would be disgusting.- Yeah.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35You lick a cotton bud and then polish it.

0:04:35 > 0:04:36- Oh, get all the filth off.- Yeah.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Now, you're an adventurer-er, aren't you?

0:04:38 > 0:04:41- You could say that, yeah. I guess so.- I did say that.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43What's wrong with you, madam?

0:04:43 > 0:04:47Anyway, I could do adventurer-ing better-er than you.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48Oh, you think so, do you?

0:04:48 > 0:04:51Watch and learn, little lady.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Watch and, indeed, you will learn.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Welcome to the Betterer Arena.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02Today I'm bettererising adventure in several death-defying steps.

0:05:06 > 0:05:10Forget about your sat-navs, this is a finely-tuned instrument.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12It can smell out anything.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Mad servant, hither.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Blindfold me.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18That's a bit tight. Calm yourself down.

0:05:18 > 0:05:23I'll prove myself by sniffing out this priceless Ming vase,

0:05:23 > 0:05:25filled with stinking flowers.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27It's a one-off, you know.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28Right, here we go. Sniff.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Sniff, sniff. Ow!

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Right in the face, that got me.

0:05:35 > 0:05:36I'll have another go.

0:05:36 > 0:05:37Sniff, sniff, sniff.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Sniff, sniff, sniff. Told you I'd find it!

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Clever boy. Good boy.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Hey, what's going on? Help me!

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Mad servant, I'm frightened.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Yeah, well, I've had a bit of a blocked nose all week

0:05:53 > 0:05:55so that's why I couldn't...

0:05:55 > 0:05:59Now, I think adventuring should be made more easy-going.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Why, what do we have here?

0:06:01 > 0:06:04It's a picture of some sort of Mother Nature thing

0:06:04 > 0:06:05at her very best.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07And look who we've got.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Why, it's me, Little Old Hacker.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10Hello, I'm Little Hacker

0:06:10 > 0:06:14and I'm going to go for a jump over the Grand Canyon!

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Oh, no! Little Hacker!

0:06:16 > 0:06:18He's fallen off his stick.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Why did this have to happen?

0:06:20 > 0:06:21He was so young.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24He had everything to live for.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Arrrgh!

0:06:25 > 0:06:27I'm aghast.

0:06:29 > 0:06:30Oh, that was sad.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34Moving on, the last thing I'm going to do to be

0:06:34 > 0:06:37an ultimate adventurer-er is invent a new extreme sport.

0:06:37 > 0:06:41So I give you extreme...

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Erm... Ah! Ming vase-dusting!

0:06:44 > 0:06:46Yes. Oh, look at its pricelessness.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49It's another one-off, you know.

0:06:56 > 0:07:00Ah. Ha. Ha. Ha. Hee. Hoo.

0:07:00 > 0:07:01Ahhh-chooo!

0:07:01 > 0:07:03Uh-oh!

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Oh, no! I'm stuck in the vase again.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10There's a spider in here.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Argh! Get it off me nose! Mother!

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Hacker, I'm not sure that counts as adventuring.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19The only thing you explored was the bottom of a few vases.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21I know. Good, isn't it? Ha ha!

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Now, Helen, we know you from Blue Peter, right,

0:07:24 > 0:07:26where you do all those good challenges.

0:07:26 > 0:07:30Well, what's the hardest challenge you've done?

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Probably downhill skateboarding. It was so painful.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36- You know, I nearly broke my legs. - That's not right, is it?- No.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39My favourite one was the Amazon one we did, do you remember?

0:07:39 > 0:07:41We had a right old LOL doing that, didn't we?

0:07:41 > 0:07:43We? I didn't see you in the jungle.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Helen! How could you forget that? I was there all along with you.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Have a look. Press that butt-on.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52- TEARFULLY:- I've been going five hours. It's red hot.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56I've been up since half three.

0:07:56 > 0:07:57I'm just tired.

0:07:59 > 0:08:03The magnitude of what I've taken on finally hits me.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09You all right, Helen? What you crying for?

0:08:09 > 0:08:13This Amazon thing's a right old doddle, isn't it?

0:08:13 > 0:08:15I've been up and down the river three times already.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Bye-bye!

0:08:17 > 0:08:18Woo-hoo!

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Do you like it?

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Now, listen, Helen Skeleton...

0:08:26 > 0:08:27I wish you had been there.

0:08:27 > 0:08:31- That was real, weren't it? - I missed you.- Oh, you!

0:08:31 > 0:08:35Helen Skeleton, me and you are showbiz friends, of course.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38But the people at home might want to know more about you, so I'll ask

0:08:38 > 0:08:41some interesting questions, like a proper presenter would do.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43OK.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46What is your favourite cheese-based foodstuffs?

0:08:48 > 0:08:49Er, toasted sandwich.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52- With cheese in?- Yeah.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55When was the last time you stroked an hedgehog?

0:08:55 > 0:08:58I don't know why I'm answering these like a quiz.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00I've never done that. It would hurt.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Er, do you like WOOL?

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Wool, wool, wool, wool.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07I love wool. I've got a handbag made out of lamb's wool.

0:09:07 > 0:09:12Oh! Is your dog Barney as talented as me?

0:09:12 > 0:09:13Look, I can do this. Look.

0:09:16 > 0:09:17He can put his leg behind his head.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Ohhh!

0:09:19 > 0:09:21Right, this one's a good one. Have you ever been...

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh, excuse me.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24Have you ever, erm... Oh!

0:09:24 > 0:09:27Have you ever done that... Oh, stop itching me.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30Have you ever... Stop it! Arrrgh!

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Oh, Hacker, stop asking Helen stupid questions

0:09:33 > 0:09:35and ask her something proper.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Hey, calm down and listen to my joke.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41What did Helen Skelton say to Barney the dog?

0:09:41 > 0:09:43I do not know.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45Look out or you'll get hit in the face!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47I don't get it.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48Argh!

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Oh, yeah! That's better. Thanks, Helen.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55What was I talking about? Something to do with Belgians?

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Nothing to do with them. You were about to tell me about this idea.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02The idea for my crazy, impossible, scary challenge.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04- Come on, what is it? - No, it wasn't that.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Er, never mind. I've forgotten.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08I tell you what, though.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10We could watch some clips of you going wrong and that.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12No!

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Wrong answer. R-r-run it!

0:10:18 > 0:10:20THUD

0:10:20 > 0:10:21Oh, nooo!

0:10:21 > 0:10:23I've hit the car.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Oh, no. It's really scratched.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27You dented it and ruined the paint.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Ohhh! Well, I'll tell you what,

0:10:36 > 0:10:38I'll lick it off.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40SHE SQUEALS

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Oh! I've snapped the needle.

0:10:51 > 0:10:55I am in a dress made entirely of balloon.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59As stylist, I'm in charge of the clothes

0:10:59 > 0:11:01so I've come to Vogue's secret...ooh!

0:11:03 > 0:11:07A few hours ago, this was just a pile of metal and plastic but now...

0:11:07 > 0:11:08ENGINE SPLUTTERS

0:11:11 > 0:11:13She's alive!

0:11:26 > 0:11:28Ahh!

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Yeah, this really is an incredible venue.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34I have got no idea what I'm saying. Sorry.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Do you like it?

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Gross! You can see him in the back of shot.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41- He's not squeezing one out, he's squirting one out.- Oh, nice.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Oh, that dog's poo is toxic.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Yes, keep walking, stinky!

0:11:48 > 0:11:50I reckon we should give Joel the pogo stick.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52All right, now, I was very lucky...

0:11:52 > 0:11:56Yes! That's why we don't give Joel the pogo stick.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02Ha, ha-ha! What a LOL!

0:12:02 > 0:12:04- Can we move on, please? - Oh, Helen!- Quickly.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08Seeing that adventure stuff makes me want to know more.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11So I'm going to ask you three quickfire questions

0:12:11 > 0:12:14- and I want you to give me three quickfire answers.- OK.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Spotlight, please, Herman.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Oh, easy! OK.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21- Are you ready?- Yes.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24Go! What is the weirdest place you've ever been to?

0:12:24 > 0:12:27An oil wrestling festival in Turkey.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30What one luxury item do you always take with you on your adventure-rs?

0:12:30 > 0:12:32False eyelashes.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Do an adventurer pose.- I'm scared!

0:12:34 > 0:12:35Do it, do it, do it!

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Oh, that's nice. - HOOTER BUZZES

0:12:38 > 0:12:41Good answers, but I want to know what real people

0:12:41 > 0:12:42have to say about adventuring.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44I'm off. Hurrah!

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Well, what do you know?

0:12:47 > 0:12:50I've gone and found my way down the road to this place here,

0:12:50 > 0:12:53where them little children do those things with that stuff

0:12:53 > 0:12:56with the other people who do the other things and that.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58And I need answers to my questions.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01So let's get in there and find out what they think.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03I bet they'll be glad to see me.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Get out! You're not welcome in here.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08You filthy animal.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Ooh, ooh, ooh. Those little children were rude.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13And they weren't so little, either, come to think of it.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16Let's go and speak to some others.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19- Hello, everyone.- Hello.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21I'm going to ask you some questions today

0:13:21 > 0:13:24and we'll find out about adventuring.

0:13:24 > 0:13:28What is the weirdest place that you've ever been to?

0:13:28 > 0:13:29A dungeon museum.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Was it scarier than this face?

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Yeah.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Where's the weirdest place you've ever been to?- My dad's kitchen.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Your dad's kitchen? Ha ha ha!

0:13:38 > 0:13:41- I've been to Narnia.- You've not been to Narnia!- Oh, yes, I have.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44- Germany.- Germany, have you been to Germany?

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Yeah.- Can you speak German?

0:13:47 > 0:13:48- Yeah.- Go on, then.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50- Ich war in Deutschland. - What does that mean?

0:13:50 > 0:13:52I've been to Germany.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55I know, you just told me that. But what does it mean?

0:13:55 > 0:13:58If you went to a place and you could only take one luxury item,

0:13:58 > 0:14:00- what would it be?- My camera.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01- A helicopter.- A phone.

0:14:01 > 0:14:05- TV.- A TV? What would you watch on it?

0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Your show.- My show! The correct answer.

0:14:07 > 0:14:11- That's right, you would watch Scoop, wouldn't you?- Yep.- And Hacker Time.

0:14:11 > 0:14:12And all my other top-notch shows.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14- HELLO!- Hi!

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Now let's all do our adventurers' poses.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20- What is that, table tennis? - Cutting through the jungle.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23- Now, what are you doing? - Taking a picture.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26So you're going one hand on your hip and you're going, "Hee!"

0:14:26 > 0:14:28- What does that mean? - I just found treasure.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31You found treasure? Can I have some?

0:14:31 > 0:14:32- Yeah, sure. I've got loads.- Hurrah!

0:14:32 > 0:14:34Now, what are you doing?

0:14:34 > 0:14:37I'm thinking about where to land my helicopter.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Aah! Have you got any plans for where you're thinking of putting it?

0:14:40 > 0:14:44- Well, there's a flat bit over there. - A flat bit over there?- Yeah.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46There's a flat bit over there.

0:14:46 > 0:14:47So bear that in mind.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49What are you doing?

0:14:49 > 0:14:50Looking through a telescope.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52- What have you seen?- Not much.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Did you see that flat bit for the helicopter?- Yes.

0:14:55 > 0:14:56So we're working as a team.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58We've learned that, if nothing else.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01We have learned today a lot about adventuring.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04We've learned that these guys have been to their dad's kitchen,

0:15:04 > 0:15:06to a waxworks and up a tower.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08And if they had to take something with them,

0:15:08 > 0:15:12they would take their mum, a mobile phone and a helicopter.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15And we've all learned how to do an adventure pose. Hit it!

0:15:17 > 0:15:20There we go. Thank you very much and goodbye.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22ALL: Goodbye!

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Thank you.

0:15:28 > 0:15:32Oh, look at that lovely, shiny, big red button.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35That looks like it would benefit from a nice old push but...

0:15:35 > 0:15:37Ohhh! Do not push! Every time!

0:15:37 > 0:15:41Why can't I push it? What harm would it do?

0:15:41 > 0:15:43PHONE RINGS

0:15:43 > 0:15:45- Hello?- All right, Hacks? What you up to?

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Er, nothing, nothing! I wasn't going to do it!

0:15:48 > 0:15:52- Do what?- Er, oh, er, nothing.

0:15:52 > 0:15:53Oh. How's the show going?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh, it's going right good and that.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58I just went to speak to some people and that. Yeah.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01So shiny!

0:16:01 > 0:16:02- Eh?- Nothing!

0:16:02 > 0:16:06Now, look, Hacks. I just called to tell you something really important.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Oh, yeah.- Look, it's really, really important. You listening?

0:16:09 > 0:16:10Yes, I am.

0:16:10 > 0:16:14Right, whatever you do, don't push the...

0:16:14 > 0:16:15Daaa!

0:16:15 > 0:16:17SIREN WAILS

0:16:18 > 0:16:20- Er, Dodger?- Yeah?

0:16:20 > 0:16:24Er, if I had pressed the button, what would've happened?

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Oh-ho ho! Well, it takes about ten seconds

0:16:26 > 0:16:29and then it releases a cage full of lions into my kennel.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Ooh.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34- Erm...- You didn't press the button, did you?

0:16:34 > 0:16:35LION ROARS

0:16:35 > 0:16:38'Argh! Don't let the lion... Oh!'

0:16:41 > 0:16:44Oh, ee, he-he-he. Mm-hm.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Hacker, is everything all right? You look a little bit dodgy.- Dodge?

0:16:47 > 0:16:50I haven't spoken to him in days. Months. Years!

0:16:50 > 0:16:53In fact, I don't know who he is. He's nothing to do with me.

0:16:53 > 0:16:57- I didn't press anything.- Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you on about?

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Oh, er, ooh, eh, nothing.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Nothing at all.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04Come on, is it time for my scary, impressive, crazy challenge?

0:17:04 > 0:17:07Because I am dying to hear what this idea is you've got for me.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Oh, no, no. That's later. I'm doing a challenge before that, too.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14Still to come today, this...

0:17:14 > 0:17:16This...

0:17:18 > 0:17:21And this... Who are they?! What are they doing in there?

0:17:21 > 0:17:24They're not on today. Quick, show some adventure howlers, Derek.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30Oh!

0:17:30 > 0:17:32Ha ha, ha ha ha! Hee hee!

0:17:34 > 0:17:36Ohhh!

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Ha ha, he fell over!

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Uh-oh!

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Oh, look!

0:17:57 > 0:17:58Oh, look!

0:17:59 > 0:18:00Oooh!

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Come on, come on!

0:18:06 > 0:18:07Oh, ohhh!

0:18:15 > 0:18:16Oh, no!

0:18:20 > 0:18:21Ah, ha ha!

0:18:21 > 0:18:23Ee, hee hee!

0:18:23 > 0:18:25OHHH!

0:18:34 > 0:18:36Oh, no!

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Classic howlers!

0:18:43 > 0:18:46And all of those daring adventurers have inspired our very own Hacker

0:18:46 > 0:18:48to do a death-defying challenge.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51Hacker, I can't believe you're going to do this.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53Well, believe it, love!

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Because I am a hair-raising adventurerer.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59I shall be shot from inside this cannon across the skies

0:18:59 > 0:19:03and into the waiting arms of Dani Harmer from Tracy Beaker.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Well, I take my hat off to you because this is intense.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09- You must have been training for months.- Nah. It looks easy!

0:19:09 > 0:19:11- Light the fuse, please.- I'm on it.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13- Thank you. - Oh, I mean, this is unbelievable.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15You'll be flying through the air.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Who knows where you're going to land?

0:19:17 > 0:19:19You've got a little white costume.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21- You've got no protection.- Stop it.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22BLOWS FRANTICALLY

0:19:22 > 0:19:25- Stop it, Helen. Let me out! - I can't. I've lit it.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28- It's going to blow! - I've changed my mind! Bodges!

0:19:28 > 0:19:29HACKER!

0:19:29 > 0:19:31Look at the size of that!

0:19:31 > 0:19:32The tower of pizzas!

0:19:32 > 0:19:36HACKER WAILS

0:19:36 > 0:19:37You do love me, Janine!

0:19:41 > 0:19:43Oooh!

0:19:43 > 0:19:45D-Dani?

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Dani, where are you?

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Oh, Dani.

0:19:51 > 0:19:55Oh, Hacker, are you all right, buddy? You went for miles.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57- DROWSILY:- Of course I'm all right.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59You look nice, Mummy.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Have you done something new with your hair?

0:20:04 > 0:20:05Hacker?

0:20:05 > 0:20:07He'll be all right in a minute, I'm sure.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09Just give him a minute.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12He better be anyway because he has got to tell me about

0:20:12 > 0:20:14this crazy, impossible, mad challenge.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17He's been teasing me with it all day.

0:20:17 > 0:20:18Hacker? Hacker?

0:20:18 > 0:20:20I'll look after him, don't worry.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Right, er, Herman, what's next?

0:20:22 > 0:20:25Ooh, yes, er...

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Apparently we're watching something that's about dogs in space.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31It's meant to be the best thing on telly with two dogs in space.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33I think I'll be the judge of that.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Derek, will you press play?

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Oh, 'eck! Run 'em. Oh.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45Ladies and gentlemen, the Leicester Advanced Space Agency

0:20:45 > 0:20:48welcomes you to this mission launch.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51The two finest astronauts in the programme

0:20:51 > 0:20:53are flying this vital mission.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Counting down.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58In five, four...

0:20:58 > 0:20:59And a one! Hyargh!

0:21:04 > 0:21:07Is there no business class on rockets? Stewardess?

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Er, you do know how to fly this thing, right?

0:21:10 > 0:21:12Yeah!

0:21:17 > 0:21:22Todd, Doug, this is flight director Chuck at Mission Control.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Great launch!- Woah!

0:21:24 > 0:21:27Hang on, you're not Todd and Doug.

0:21:27 > 0:21:31- Help!- Help us. We're tied up!

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Never mind them two. We're here now.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Affirmative.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36The mission must continue.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40Even if it is you two rats instead of astronauts.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42- Cheeky mooey. - Eh, what's the mission, then?

0:21:42 > 0:21:46Head to a far-off planet called Faaarrrqqquuuaaalllaaarrr.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51- BOTH:- Faaaarrrrqualalalala?

0:21:51 > 0:21:54It has a rare alien life form on it.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57We need to learn about its advanced technology.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00The aliens are green, easy to miss.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03So, whatever you do, don't land on 'em.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04Mission Control out.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Set us down somewhere nice, Dodge.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08I've brought a picnic.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11- Eh, what about that big green patch? - Perfect.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20Bleugh, blobble, urgh.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22What was that squish?

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Bleugh, booble, bobble, bleugh.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Now, what did they say that alien looked like?

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Uh, uh, uh, like that!

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Oh, bodges! Back away slowly, Dodge.

0:22:37 > 0:22:38Arrrgh!

0:22:38 > 0:22:40'Guys, any luck finding that alien?'

0:22:40 > 0:22:43Oh, I'm not going to lie to you, Chuck. There was nothing there.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45Barren, it was.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Er, yeah. Bleak. Desolate, even.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50Yeah, so we should probably just set our phasers for underwhelmed

0:22:50 > 0:22:52and head home.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54An amazing discovery, guys.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57The flight of the beagle must continue.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Your work isn't done.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02- But I need the lav-lav. - Oh, space bodges!

0:23:04 > 0:23:06And off they go to continue their voyage.

0:23:06 > 0:23:11But they'll be back to make a complete hash of it again soon,

0:23:11 > 0:23:15when we return to Dogs In Space.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Are you sure you're all right, Hacker?

0:23:17 > 0:23:20Yeah, I've never felt better-er, Barney.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22It's Helen.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24Blonde. Helen.

0:23:24 > 0:23:25- HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:- Oh, yeah!

0:23:25 > 0:23:28Eh, wasn't Dogs In Space good and that?

0:23:28 > 0:23:29Yeah, it was good.

0:23:29 > 0:23:33But the thing is, you have been promising me this entire show that

0:23:33 > 0:23:35you have a scary, impossible, challenge for me.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38It must be time now. Come on, come on. Is it parachuting?

0:23:38 > 0:23:41Is it... Oh, I've got it! It's wrestling with crocodiles!

0:23:41 > 0:23:44- Harder than all that. - I definitely know what it is!

0:23:44 > 0:23:46I definitely know. It's ice climbing, isn't it?

0:23:46 > 0:23:48No. Go over there and get ready.

0:23:48 > 0:23:49Even harder?

0:23:49 > 0:23:52Ladies and gentlemen, witness the most difficult

0:23:52 > 0:23:54and tough challenge ever and that.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58Watch Helen Skelton, brave telly woman, open a jar of flipping onions

0:23:58 > 0:24:00that I've not been able to get into for weeks!

0:24:00 > 0:24:02- Dog, is this it?- What do you mean?

0:24:02 > 0:24:05That's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07I can't shift that lid.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09It was hardly even attached.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12I mean, I could have blown that off with a little...

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Still, at least we've got some pickled onions to eat.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17- Do you want one? - Oh, no. Yuck! I don't like them.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20They're muck, them things. Yeuch!

0:24:20 > 0:24:23Right, Helen, that's the end. Thanks for coming in.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25There's a present here for you. Have a look.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27It's a Hacker Time dog bowl.

0:24:27 > 0:24:31The Hacker Time dog bowl is the latest in doggy chic.

0:24:31 > 0:24:35It's based on the newest dog bowl designs, coming from...

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Paris and Milan.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41And is 97 percent new. Hoo-hoo!

0:24:41 > 0:24:42There you are.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45I tested it last night by eating me din-dins out of it.

0:24:45 > 0:24:46And it works a treat.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48What do you think?

0:24:48 > 0:24:50It smells like chicken. But, yeah, cheers, I guess.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52That's OK. Now off you pop.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54I've stuff to be getting on with. The door's there.

0:24:54 > 0:24:58- That's me done?- That's you done, yeah.- Oh, right. OK.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00- Well, all right. - See ya. Mind your head.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Ooh! Didn't hurt.- Ha, ha-ha!

0:25:02 > 0:25:06Right, now she's cleared off, let's take a look at

0:25:06 > 0:25:09some of my favourite all-action LOLs from around the world.

0:25:09 > 0:25:14This is Hacker's top five adventure howlers.

0:25:14 > 0:25:19In at five, there's a right nonsense going on at number five.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Pull left, pull left, pull left.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23- I'm pulling left.- Pull left and push.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28And I've landed in a tree!

0:25:28 > 0:25:31My first unbelievable flight!

0:25:31 > 0:25:33How could you miss a field like this?

0:25:34 > 0:25:37At four, more tree-based nonsense.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Ooh, that's a lovely shot.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41Hey, mind the... Ohhh!

0:25:42 > 0:25:46Let's see that again. Oh, right in the famsquadge!

0:25:46 > 0:25:47Never mind, lads.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52In at three is a girl doing a bit of zorbing.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55That's when you try and walk in a big ball thing.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58But she's poor at it! Ha ha!

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Here she goes. Nice and eas...

0:26:00 > 0:26:03Oh, love, you've fallen down!

0:26:03 > 0:26:04Have another go.

0:26:04 > 0:26:05Come on, that's it.

0:26:05 > 0:26:06Oh, forget it!

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Don't bother, love.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11It's riddled with aquatic cha-os.

0:26:13 > 0:26:17In at two is this woman who's proper scared of rollercoasters and that.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19Listen to her scream.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22EAR-PIERCING SCREAMS

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Ooh, ey, nice hair!

0:26:29 > 0:26:34At one, my number one howler today is a boy stuck on an inflatable.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36How do they get him off it?

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Have a look.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40There he goes, up the ladder there.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Nothing unusual about this, you might think.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44But what... Oh, no, he's jumped.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Wahey! Moisture!

0:26:46 > 0:26:48He went flying, didn't he, Tarquin?

0:26:48 > 0:26:49Oh, yeah. Ahem.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52That's all for today from Hacker Time.

0:26:52 > 0:26:54I'm off now to Posh Spice for a biryani.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56Thanks to Helen Skelton for telling us all about

0:26:56 > 0:26:58adventuring and that.

0:26:58 > 0:26:59Ooh, what a show we've had!

0:26:59 > 0:27:02I'm going to reminisce about it now in the form of a song.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Goodbye.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09# That is it for now The end of the show

0:27:09 > 0:27:11# I need the lav-lav So I'm going to go

0:27:11 > 0:27:14# I'll see you next time On this show of mine

0:27:14 > 0:27:17# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time

0:27:17 > 0:27:19# We've had a LOL or two Watching some clips

0:27:19 > 0:27:22# I laughed so hard That I nearly was sick

0:27:22 > 0:27:24# I'll show you more funny stuff When I'm next on

0:27:24 > 0:27:27# Who needs other telly shows? Mine's the best one!

0:27:27 > 0:27:29# I was shot out of a cannon

0:27:29 > 0:27:31# And Helen was my special guest

0:27:31 > 0:27:33# We had lots of fun and that

0:27:33 > 0:27:36# But all that tired me out Now I need to rest

0:27:36 > 0:27:38# Well, that is it for now The end of the show

0:27:38 > 0:27:41# I need the lav-lav So I'm going to go

0:27:41 > 0:27:43# I'll see you next time On this show of mine

0:27:43 > 0:27:46# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time

0:27:46 > 0:27:48# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time

0:27:48 > 0:27:51# That is the end of Today's Hacker Time! #

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd