Danny Anthony & Anjli Mohindra

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04# You've got to watch this

0:00:06 > 0:00:09# You've got to watch this

0:00:10 > 0:00:12# You've got to watch this

0:00:12 > 0:00:13# My, my, my...

0:00:13 > 0:00:15# My programme hits you so hard

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Makes me say, "Oh, my word"

0:00:18 > 0:00:19# Thank you for watching me

0:00:19 > 0:00:21# It's telly but not what you normally see

0:00:21 > 0:00:23# It feels good, there's outtakes too

0:00:23 > 0:00:26# Comedy, guests and clips, it's true

0:00:26 > 0:00:29# So sit back, don't work too much This is the show you can't touch

0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Hacker time! #

0:00:31 > 0:00:33Thank you.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Cue Hacker.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Cue hacker. Oh, cue hacker.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45Run the programme.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48What? Oh, budgies!

0:00:51 > 0:00:53- How long have I got?- Eight seconds.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Welcome to Hacker Time. It's going to be great and that.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58Coming up today we've got this, this and this.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Now here are some howlers.

0:01:04 > 0:01:08People like to call them the gentle giants of the insect world.

0:01:10 > 0:01:11Stand up.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Oh, not that, no.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16He wanted to cut the enemy formation in half so he could destroy

0:01:16 > 0:01:20the ships at the centre and at the rear of the formation.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22For the ships at the front could...

0:01:22 > 0:01:24FOG HORN SOUNDS

0:01:24 > 0:01:25Now, Nelson...

0:01:25 > 0:01:26FOG HORN SOUNDS

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Wet shoes!

0:01:30 > 0:01:32Each one of those photographs I took...

0:01:32 > 0:01:34What's that? Oh, it's a false spider.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Two rows of wooden seats down either side

0:01:37 > 0:01:40which you'd sit on to do your business.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43Your business would then drop into that channel.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46You'd wipe your bum with a sponge on the end of a stick

0:01:46 > 0:01:48which you'd wash out in this channel down here.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50HE GIGGLES

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Now, it's unclear as to whether...

0:01:52 > 0:01:54HE LAUGHS

0:01:56 > 0:01:58Try again, Matt.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02From there, you would wipe your bum with a...

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Bum?!

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Ready...

0:02:09 > 0:02:11HE LAUGHS

0:02:15 > 0:02:18More comical unsightliness later.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20HORN BLARES

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Are my guests here, Derek?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24- Yeah, they're coming.- Oh, good.

0:02:24 > 0:02:30It's going to be a right old LOL, not that they know they're on yet.

0:02:32 > 0:02:37- "Unsolved alien mystery."- That's right up our street. Come on, Danny.

0:02:41 > 0:02:45Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's very special guests,

0:02:45 > 0:02:47the stars of the Sarah Jane Adventures, Danny Anthony

0:02:47 > 0:02:50and Anjli Mohindra.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Hey, you all right?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Hacker, what's this unsolved alien mystery all about, then?

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Have you got Judoon running wild in your corridors

0:02:58 > 0:03:00or Slithine trying to take over CBBC?

0:03:00 > 0:03:06Yeah, something like that. There's strange spooky things going on.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Listen.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10WHISTLING

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Funny that, it's whistling for them.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Watch this one.

0:03:17 > 0:03:21And there's clanging and stuff all around.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Woo! woo!

0:03:25 > 0:03:28And there's unexplained gases lurking.

0:03:29 > 0:03:30SHE PASSES WIND

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Oops.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Spooky, isn't it?

0:03:35 > 0:03:37No, no. It's not.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40That's just the crew over there making noises.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Yes, hello, all right?

0:03:42 > 0:03:45I knew she shouldn't have done the bum bum thing.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48All right, so there's not exactly aliens and stuff.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51I've got you here to be guests on my brilliant TV show.

0:03:51 > 0:03:52Surprise!

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Good, isn't it?

0:03:54 > 0:03:58- You've got a TV show?- Yeah, so you will stay?- I'm not sure if we can.

0:03:58 > 0:04:03I'm glad you agree, come and sit down. Lock the doors, Derek.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Now, watch this. It's all about you and that. Pull that blue lever.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Danny and Anjli are actors in the Sarah Jane Adventures.

0:04:14 > 0:04:18Daniel's a lovely boy, very kind and polite. Daniel, how rude!

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Well, Anjli's nice anyway. Nice dress, Anjli.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Do they do it in pink? I'd love one like that.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Danny and Anjli play Clyde and Rani.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29They solve mysteries and battle aliens.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32Yes... Oh, look at his fingernails!

0:04:32 > 0:04:35But with Sarah Jane in charge, they always save the day.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Why, it's Daniel and Anjli.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Very interesting.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41So, Daniel and the other one,

0:04:41 > 0:04:43you have lots of aliens in your programme and that.

0:04:43 > 0:04:47- Are they supposed to be scary? - Yeah, they are pretty frightening.

0:04:47 > 0:04:52Yeah, they are average at best. I can do aliens far betterer.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Take a look see at this.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57Welcome to the betterer arena.

0:04:57 > 0:05:02Today, I'm going to show you how to make a betterer alien

0:05:02 > 0:05:03in a few scary steps.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Step one.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11To be an alien, you need a scary body.

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Now, I've spent all my money on this and you will not be disappointed.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19Wardrobe! Dress me.

0:05:21 > 0:05:22Thank you.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Perfect.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27I am an alien!

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Are you joking? What's this?

0:05:31 > 0:05:33I gave you a whole pound and you come back with this.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35This wouldn't scare a timid mouse!

0:05:35 > 0:05:39I'm appalled at the state of this thing! Look at the state of me!

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Step two!

0:05:43 > 0:05:44I'll deal with you to later.

0:05:44 > 0:05:48Right, step two, aliens are scarier

0:05:48 > 0:05:51when you can't understand what they are saying.

0:05:51 > 0:05:52To prove it, watch this.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Bring in the guinea pig!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Watch him in tremble.

0:06:08 > 0:06:12Ah! Mum, the guinea pig got me again.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18Step three.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20You stupid guinea pig!

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Right, the final thing I need to be an alien

0:06:23 > 0:06:28and conquer the universe, is a spaceship.

0:06:28 > 0:06:33My spaceship can zap people and flies at a zillion miles an hour.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37Oh, "But where is it?" I hear you ask. That's the best thing of all.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40It's invisible!

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Now, now, where did I put it? Ow, my teeth!

0:06:43 > 0:06:47I just banged my teeth on my spaceship. Oh, no.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49ALARM SOUNDS

0:06:49 > 0:06:53Where are my car keys? Oh, hello? Hello, help me!

0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Is that it?- Oi! That was dead good.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Although it wasn't as good as the time I was on

0:07:01 > 0:07:03the Sarah Jane Adventurers, is it?

0:07:03 > 0:07:06- You were never on the Sarah Jane Adventures.- Never.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Don't you remember? I'm offended. I was in that episode with you, Anjli.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12It was the one where you thought

0:07:12 > 0:07:16everyone in the world had been wiped out for ever. Watch this.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Mum! Dad!

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Hello! Hello!

0:07:39 > 0:07:40HELLO!

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Please don't let me be the only one.

0:07:58 > 0:07:59BANGING

0:08:07 > 0:08:10Are you all right, Rani? What are you doing here?

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Everyone's down the swimming pool, having a right old LOL.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Yeah, they are all there. Clyde, that other one.

0:08:16 > 0:08:20Come on, have a dip. Get among it!

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Aren't I a good actor and that?

0:08:22 > 0:08:23- You are amazing.- Brilliant.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Anyway, the viewers at home probably want to know

0:08:26 > 0:08:29more about the Sarah Jane Adventures and that.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31So I'm going to ask you some questions.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34What was it like when you met the Doctor? Did he give you a check-up?

0:08:34 > 0:08:38I mean, why did you call him? Was there something giving you jip?

0:08:38 > 0:08:42Well, I had a dodgy knee so he sorted that out.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45He shouldn't waste his time. He's a professional.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49That Mr Smith, right, he's a good computer, isn't he?

0:08:49 > 0:08:50But what games has he got?

0:08:50 > 0:08:55How To Save The Day. How To Save The Day II.

0:08:55 > 0:08:56They're good games.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59And how long have you... Excuse me. How long have you...

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Give me a minute. How long have you...

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Will you stop itching!

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Hacker, hacker, stop messing about and ask Danny

0:09:09 > 0:09:12and Anjli proper questions.

0:09:12 > 0:09:15Hey, maybe we should pretend we are in the Sarah Jane Adventures.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18- I'll be Sarah Jane. - And what will I be?

0:09:18 > 0:09:20A monstrous, giant paw!

0:09:20 > 0:09:23I don't remember that in the show.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26That's got it.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30Oh, yes. Right, so how long have you been...

0:09:30 > 0:09:34Oh, forgotten. Never mind. Let's do something else, shall we?

0:09:34 > 0:09:37I've found some clips of you lot messing up

0:09:37 > 0:09:40on the Sarah Jane Adventures. You love it.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43Push those levers.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50They can't cope with that rate of multiplication.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Good to see you are on are... bah bah bah!

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Yeah, but I've got... ma ba be bee da doo!

0:10:03 > 0:10:05- Sorry. - Cut, thank you.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08Guys, here we go.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Oh, don't.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Are you feeling freaked yet?

0:10:15 > 0:10:16Where are they?

0:10:16 > 0:10:21Just go along with him, Anjli... Rani, I saw him save the world.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22And action.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29Oh, you were in the back of the shot, man.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Did somebody say dance?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41- Is that rackweed?- No.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Is that rackweed?

0:10:50 > 0:10:52THEY LAUGH

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Cut!

0:11:06 > 0:11:08You went wrong multiple times there.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11- Sometimes it's hard to remember our lines.- Oh, Daniel!

0:11:11 > 0:11:15Anjli, all this alien chit chat makes me want to learn more

0:11:15 > 0:11:19so I'm going to ask you three quick-fire questions

0:11:19 > 0:11:22and I want you to give me three quick-fire answers.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Spotlight, please, Herman.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30- Bit bright.- Are you ready?- Yes.- Go! It's against the clock.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Draw an alien!

0:11:34 > 0:11:38- Right, name your aliens. What are they called?- Mind is a Toastini.

0:11:38 > 0:11:43- Was noise does it make? - Like eating toast.- Like this.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47Exactly, exactly. Brilliant impression, brilliant impression.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51- And what is your one called? - Mine's called the RooJoo.- Time up.

0:11:51 > 0:11:57Show us your aliens. Oh, very good. Scary, Toastini and a lovely RooJoo.

0:11:57 > 0:11:58Oh, yes.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01I tell you what though, the other day right,

0:12:01 > 0:12:05I went to speak to some real life little people out and about

0:12:05 > 0:12:08and they did some well good aliens and that. Look at this.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Thank you.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13Yes, that's right.

0:12:13 > 0:12:17Here I am, once again, like a big reporter from the news

0:12:17 > 0:12:20to ask some people some very tricky questions.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23Rule number one of interviewing humans

0:12:23 > 0:12:26is make a good first impression. So, let's get going.

0:12:26 > 0:12:27THEY LAUGH

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Hey, don't laugh at me!

0:12:29 > 0:12:33Have you never seen a dog examining the floor

0:12:33 > 0:12:35at close proximity before?

0:12:35 > 0:12:39I won't have it! Aliens are creepy and scary.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43I reckon these lot have seen an alien. Please draw it down.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45Draw it now, draw it

0:12:45 > 0:12:48so I can witness the alien in front of me very eyes!

0:12:58 > 0:13:01- Hello.- Hello. - Can I have a look at your alien?

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Would you hold it up, please? That's good.

0:13:04 > 0:13:08- Now, what is your alien called? - It's called Pootion.- Pootion?

0:13:08 > 0:13:10And what does he do?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- What is it called? - It's called the Kapeesh.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20What noise does it make?

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

0:13:23 > 0:13:25I didn't catch that. What was it?

0:13:25 > 0:13:27- What's it called?- Keith.

0:13:27 > 0:13:31- Oh, look at Keith. He's got nice teeth, hasn't he?- Yeah.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33And what noise does Keith make?

0:13:33 > 0:13:35# Brrrack, wooang, moooi! #

0:13:35 > 0:13:39- And does he have any powers? - He can fart to another universe.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42He can fart to another universe.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44- What's it called? - It's called Sluggy Snail.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- And what noise does he make? - Blogga, blogga, blogga.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Does he have any powers? - He just eats people.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53That's fine, I'm a dog, I'll be fine, won't I?

0:13:53 > 0:13:56- But it will each dogs first. - It will eat dogs first?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Oh, no, get rid of the Sluggy Snail.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Please don't eat me, I'm so young!

0:14:00 > 0:14:04So there you go, that's what everyone in the world thinks.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08Now it's back to me in the studio.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Thank you.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14- Aren't them aliens good?- Yeah.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16- You should put them in your programme.- I was impressed.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- They were very good. - They were wicked.

0:14:19 > 0:14:23Now, Daniel, Anjli, tell us some behind-the-scenes secrets.

0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Hacker, I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything. It's top secret.- Oh.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30But because it's you and I like you, we will tell you one thing.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33You've got to promise not to tell anyone, OK?

0:14:33 > 0:14:35- We will get is so much trouble. - I promise.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38So, first episode of the next series...

0:14:38 > 0:14:40There's a button there, isn't there?

0:14:40 > 0:14:44Look at that button there. Nice and shiny.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47Yeah, I probably shouldn't press that button, really,

0:14:47 > 0:14:51but what's the worst that can happen?

0:14:51 > 0:14:52BOTH: No!

0:14:52 > 0:14:54SIREN BLARES

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Nothing's happened. Yeah...

0:15:00 > 0:15:02- Where are we?- I don't know.

0:15:02 > 0:15:06- What are we going to do? We could be stuck here.- I'm scared, Anjli.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09- Me too.- What are you two playing at?

0:15:09 > 0:15:12Come back over here - we've got a show to do.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Oh, sorry, Hacks.- Sorry, Hacks.

0:15:15 > 0:15:20Young whippersnappers. Never mind. Still to come - Derek! The menu!

0:15:20 > 0:15:23One menu, served hot! Hoo-hoo!

0:15:25 > 0:15:26En route is this...

0:15:26 > 0:15:28HE SOBS

0:15:28 > 0:15:30That...and this...

0:15:30 > 0:15:33Hold on a minute, who's he? He's not in it, quick, Derek!

0:15:33 > 0:15:35Play the Dr Who-lers. He-he-he!

0:15:35 > 0:15:39# Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

0:15:39 > 0:15:41# Da-da-da-da...

0:15:41 > 0:15:43# Doo oooh-whooo-ooh!

0:15:43 > 0:15:47THEY "SING" DR WHO THEME TUNE

0:15:49 > 0:15:52Right... This isn't going to be big on dignity.

0:15:55 > 0:15:56SQUELCHING SOUND

0:15:56 > 0:15:58SHE GIGGLES

0:15:59 > 0:16:00Was that a howler?

0:16:02 > 0:16:05"Restricted access. No unauthorised personnel."

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Hm.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10- That's breaking and entering! - What did I break?

0:16:10 > 0:16:13Sonic-ing and entering.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Oh!

0:16:16 > 0:16:19THEY LAUGH

0:16:21 > 0:16:25Amy, listen to me, I'm sending a bit of software to your communicator.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28It's a proximity detector. It beeps if something's in your way.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Manoeuvre till the beeping stops then you've got a clear path,

0:16:31 > 0:16:34because - Amy, this is important -

0:16:34 > 0:16:36the angel is full of forests.

0:16:36 > 0:16:38You're going to have to walk like you can see.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40Just picked that up, sorry. >

0:16:40 > 0:16:44- The forest is full of angels.- The angel is full of forests, absolutely!

0:16:44 > 0:16:47Absolutely! THEY LAUGH

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Cut there.

0:16:49 > 0:16:53What are you doing? What have you done?

0:16:55 > 0:16:56Sorry!

0:16:58 > 0:17:01They've improved - they're stronger, more powerful, more brilliant,

0:17:01 > 0:17:04more ferocious.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06And they're a greater threat...

0:17:06 > 0:17:08BIRD CRIES Can you hear that?

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Some sort of exotic bird?

0:17:10 > 0:17:13A dalek bird, is it?

0:17:13 > 0:17:17- What happened? - We jumped.- Jumped where?

0:17:17 > 0:17:20I'm going got stop, cos my brace has come undone.

0:17:20 > 0:17:25So, I'm here with Ed Thomas - the man who makes the TARDIS -

0:17:25 > 0:17:28and everything else in Dr Who - look incredible.

0:17:28 > 0:17:32- Oh, I've locked us out!- No!- Sorry!

0:17:32 > 0:17:34Ha! I've locked us out!

0:17:34 > 0:17:37- I should be able to hotwire it. - I'll go round... Oh no!

0:17:41 > 0:17:45Hey, Anjli, I'll be counting down my top howlers later, you know.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48- But first, I have written a play!- Oh.

0:17:48 > 0:17:53You meet aliens all the time, right? And you're a good actor and that,

0:17:53 > 0:17:56so I've made an alien adventure story.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59- I wrote it just for you, Anjli. - Cool. So, er...who do I play?

0:17:59 > 0:18:05- You play a lovely girl who is in love.- OK. And who do you play?

0:18:05 > 0:18:08I play a handsome dog who you're in love with.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11I'M in love with YOU? Ha!

0:18:11 > 0:18:13RECORD SCRATCHES

0:18:13 > 0:18:17- Oh, you're being serious.- Yep - come on - let's go, Anjli!- OK.- Come on.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Er, guys...guys!

0:18:19 > 0:18:21What about me? Who do I play?

0:18:21 > 0:18:24Oh dear, I forgot about you. Er...

0:18:24 > 0:18:28You can be the narrator or summat. Wait for me, Anjli!

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Daniel, you just stand over there and read it out.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34- WE'RE the stars of this play.- OK.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38Anjli had finally got Hacker the dog to agree to go on a date with her.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41She was so happy, cos she'd been in love with Hacker for ages.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44- It's a good play, in't it, Anjli? - Er, kind of.

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Anjli and Hacker had a lovely time and Anjli was so in love

0:18:48 > 0:18:51with Hacker that she gave him a kiss, right on the lips.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- Really?- It's in the script.- Fine.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56HACKER SMACKS HIS LIPS

0:18:56 > 0:18:59But as she did it, something crazy happened.

0:18:59 > 0:19:03Hacker transformed, quick as a flash, into an alien.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Oh, yeah - hang on!

0:19:05 > 0:19:07CRASHING

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Can't find the wretched costume... Ah! Got it!

0:19:10 > 0:19:14- Handsome, ain't I, Anjli? - Sort of.- Yeah.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Anjli realised that Hacker was really an alien dog.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19Oooh, I'm an alien, whoo!

0:19:19 > 0:19:23But she was still in love with him. So she said...

0:19:23 > 0:19:27"What can I do to turn you back into a handsome dog?"

0:19:27 > 0:19:30Simply give me another kiss.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34- I'm not kissing him again. - It's in the script.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38- You wrote it!- Oh yeah!- So Anjli gave Hacker another big kiss.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41HE SMACKS HIS LIPS

0:19:41 > 0:19:43But when Anjli kissed him,

0:19:43 > 0:19:47alien Hacker got angry and started trying to take over the world.

0:19:47 > 0:19:51Yeah. I will take over the world! Ooh, I am an evil alien!

0:19:51 > 0:19:53HE RANTS EVILLY

0:19:53 > 0:19:56There was only one thing for it - Anjli would have to give Hacker

0:19:56 > 0:19:59the biggest, sloppiest snog ever to stop him.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01- Yeah... - MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:20:01 > 0:20:03- A really big snog.- Hello?

0:20:06 > 0:20:10..a nice big snogerooo... Mwah! Pfft! What the bodges?

0:20:10 > 0:20:13- Have you been eating onions? - Well, I like 'em, yeah.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15- I need to have a lie down.- Daniel...

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Anjli! Oh, bodges!

0:20:17 > 0:20:21I think we should show something else now I've lost both my guests.

0:20:21 > 0:20:22Here's more of me acting.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25It's a well-good period drama, but with dogs in it.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28It's called Downstairs Abbey.

0:20:35 > 0:20:41'I, Dodgina, am in love with my master, Lord Percy,

0:20:41 > 0:20:44'and even though I'm just a little maid,

0:20:44 > 0:20:48'I hope one day we will be married.'

0:20:48 > 0:20:50HE SIGHS

0:20:50 > 0:20:56- Lord Percy.- Ha-ha! You're in love with Lord Percy?- Well, so are you.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59- Oh yeah! - BELL RINGS

0:20:59 > 0:21:00Lord Percy! I'll go, I'll go!

0:21:00 > 0:21:02He-he!

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Huh! Whoaaaah!

0:21:04 > 0:21:05GLASS SMASHES

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Ah, girls. I have great news.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13Lady Sarah is coming to visit this afternoon

0:21:13 > 0:21:16and I'm going to ask for her hand in marriage.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17BOTH: Oh!

0:21:18 > 0:21:21So, we need to make sure this place is spotless.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24Yeah, it does need a good clean, don't it?

0:21:24 > 0:21:27- Yeah.- And you two are my cleaners. So GET GOING!

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Hackerella, we've got to stop this,

0:21:31 > 0:21:34or HE will end up marrying Lady Sarah.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37Dodgina, its time for...a rumour.

0:21:37 > 0:21:38HE WHISPERS

0:21:38 > 0:21:39Oooh!

0:21:56 > 0:21:58Hackerella - here she comes! Quick, hide!

0:22:00 > 0:22:03SHE GASPS He what?

0:22:07 > 0:22:08Lord Percy!

0:22:08 > 0:22:11Why have you been spreading such vile rumours about me?

0:22:11 > 0:22:15- What rumours?- It has been said that you think that I smell.

0:22:15 > 0:22:19And that my father is a thief. And that I have a face...like the moon.

0:22:19 > 0:22:24W-W-Well..the truth is, Lady Sarah, I do think those things.

0:22:24 > 0:22:30- What?! - Er, yes, I think you smell...lovely.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32- Oh.- I think your father IS a thief...

0:22:32 > 0:22:37- He stole the stars from heaven and put them in your eyes.- Oh!

0:22:37 > 0:22:39- And I think you have a face like the moon.- Ah!

0:22:39 > 0:22:43It is mysterious...and magical.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45Oh, Lord Percy.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Plus, it's big and round and full of craters!

0:22:48 > 0:22:52I'm surprised no-one has mentioned it before. You're a proper moonie-face!

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Moonie! Moonie in the roomie!

0:22:55 > 0:23:00- Oh, Lord Percy!- What? No! Lady Sarah! No, come back!

0:23:00 > 0:23:04- Oh, she's gone. - There, there, Lord Percy.

0:23:04 > 0:23:05Yeah. It'll be all right.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07- Hackerella?- Yeah?

0:23:07 > 0:23:11- Would you do something for me? - Anything, Lord Percy!

0:23:13 > 0:23:19- I've forgotten my hanky!- Pft! Oh!- PFFFFFFFTT!

0:23:19 > 0:23:21HE SOBS

0:23:21 > 0:23:22All over me neck!

0:23:27 > 0:23:31Yeah, it's not bad, but it's no Sarah Jane Adventures, is it, Danny?

0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Y'all right, cockers? Look at this! - Hacker! Where did you get that from?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37It was just lying round in your bag, Anjli.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39I thought, "Ooh, just my colour."

0:23:39 > 0:23:41That's Sarah Jane's sonic lipstick.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44- We need that to save the world from evil aliens.- Oh, bodges.

0:23:44 > 0:23:50- Give that here.- Eh! Oh... Thanks for coming, you were great.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Ha-ha! What a nice couple. See ya!

0:23:55 > 0:23:56Ffft! Get that lippy off.

0:23:56 > 0:24:00Anyway, now it's time to look at some weird moments

0:24:00 > 0:24:02from around the world.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05It's Hacker's top five alien howlers!

0:24:05 > 0:24:11Five! My first alien howler is this man who has gone all alieny. Look!

0:24:13 > 0:24:16Oooh! Look at his massive forehead!

0:24:16 > 0:24:18Four!

0:24:18 > 0:24:21What would you do if you saw an alien in a park?

0:24:21 > 0:24:24Would you jump out of your skin, like this lot?

0:24:25 > 0:24:28- There's an alien there. - LAUGHTER

0:24:28 > 0:24:33Eh... What could happen next? Oh, run away!

0:24:33 > 0:24:34Run away!

0:24:36 > 0:24:39He's got big eyes.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41What a load of Charlies that lot are.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42Three!

0:24:42 > 0:24:45In at three, you'll love this one.

0:24:45 > 0:24:51It's a spooky thing I found where a cow gets abducted by aliens. Whoo!

0:24:54 > 0:24:59That cow's going up! Ooh, look, it's the ultimate milkshake! Ha-ha!

0:25:01 > 0:25:03Arf!

0:25:03 > 0:25:04Ain't that good?

0:25:04 > 0:25:07But I wonder where the cow went?

0:25:07 > 0:25:10- CRASH! - Ow!- Moo!

0:25:10 > 0:25:11Ooh, me nonsense!

0:25:11 > 0:25:13Two!

0:25:13 > 0:25:17Uh! Right - we don't know much about aliens, do we?

0:25:17 > 0:25:21But I do know something - they're good at dancing. Look!

0:25:21 > 0:25:24ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC

0:25:28 > 0:25:31Look at him move! Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo!

0:25:36 > 0:25:38And one!

0:25:38 > 0:25:41My favourite clip today has got a dog in it,

0:25:41 > 0:25:43because dogs are dead good an' that.

0:25:43 > 0:25:47But this one is an alien - look!

0:25:47 > 0:25:50LAUGHTER

0:26:04 > 0:26:09That's my favourite alien howler. Well done, alien dog.

0:26:09 > 0:26:13That's all I've got time for today - what a lovely show!

0:26:13 > 0:26:16And thanks to Daniel and Anjli for getting amongst it.

0:26:16 > 0:26:19And we got through the whole show without an alien invasion

0:26:19 > 0:26:21or anything!

0:26:21 > 0:26:24- SPOOKY MUSIC - Ooh. Derek, stop messing about!

0:26:24 > 0:26:27It's nothing to do with me, cockers.

0:26:27 > 0:26:28Oh...

0:26:28 > 0:26:33If it's not you and it's not me, then who's making that noise?

0:26:35 > 0:26:39Oh, bodges! Help! An alien! What do you want from me?

0:26:39 > 0:26:43Can you lend me 20p for the bus fare home, please?

0:26:43 > 0:26:44What? Is that it?

0:26:44 > 0:26:49- Get out of it, man! I've got a song to do.- How very, very rude.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51Hit it! Oh...

0:26:56 > 0:26:59# That is it for now the end of the show

0:26:59 > 0:27:01# I need the lav now so I'm going to go

0:27:01 > 0:27:03# I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:03 > 0:27:06# Put it in your diary it's called Hacker Time!

0:27:06 > 0:27:08# We've had a LOL or two watching some clips

0:27:08 > 0:27:11# I laughed so hard that I nearly was sick

0:27:11 > 0:27:13# I'll show you more funny stuff when I'm next on

0:27:13 > 0:27:15# Who needs other telly shows? Mine's the best one!

0:27:15 > 0:27:20# We did some aliens things today with Daniel and Anjli

0:27:20 > 0:27:22# They were lovely the show was great

0:27:22 > 0:27:26# But I've got to leave now because I need a wee

0:27:26 > 0:27:27# That is it for now the end of the show

0:27:27 > 0:27:30# I need the lav-lav so I'm going to go

0:27:30 > 0:27:32# I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:32 > 0:27:35# Put it in your diary - it's called Hacker Time!

0:27:35 > 0:27:37# Put it in your diary it's called Hacker Time! #

0:27:37 > 0:27:40That is the end of today's Hacker Time!

0:27:40 > 0:27:42- APPLAUSE - Thank you!

0:27:42 > 0:27:45Oooh, thank you!