Steve Backshall

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0:00:03 > 0:00:05# You gotta watch this

0:00:06 > 0:00:07# You gotta watch this

0:00:09 > 0:00:11# You gotta watch this!

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# My, my, my, my problem hits you

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# So hard, makes me say "Oh, my word"

0:00:18 > 0:00:19# Thank you for watching me

0:00:19 > 0:00:22# It's telly but not what your numbers say

0:00:22 > 0:00:25# It feels good Take one, take two, sit back

0:00:25 > 0:00:27# Don't read too much

0:00:27 > 0:00:30# This is the show that you can't touch, Hacker Time! #

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Thank you.

0:00:32 > 0:00:36Yeah, all right? I'm Hacker T Dog off the telly and that.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38And this is my right good telly show.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41Coming up today, I've got this...

0:00:41 > 0:00:45Plenty of this. And some of them.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48But first, I'm going to start with...

0:00:48 > 0:00:49- MUSIC PLAYS - Stop that!

0:00:49 > 0:00:52Stop that. Not yet. Not yet! Yeah.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55I'm going to start this show off with a big song and dance.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57That sounds good.

0:00:57 > 0:01:02- MUSIC PLAYS- Stop that! I'm not ready yet! Right. Yeah...

0:01:02 > 0:01:06- I've written this song myself... - MUSIC STARTS- Wait!

0:01:06 > 0:01:12- Will you please just wait!- Wait? - Yes, wait.- Whatever you say.

0:01:12 > 0:01:13Right, yes. So where was I?

0:01:25 > 0:01:29It's not as simple as you just saying private is bad and public is good?

0:01:29 > 0:01:30Absolutely not.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33On this occasion, we can actually

0:01:33 > 0:01:35look at the experiences that we have...

0:02:10 > 0:02:13- LAUGHTER - Did Pippa's horse just pass wind?

0:02:13 > 0:02:18- It does it when goes over jumps. - Really? That's hilarious.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20LOUD PARP

0:02:29 > 0:02:33Oh! That was some nonsense. More of that later.

0:02:33 > 0:02:38But now it's time for this show's victim...I mean guest.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42Animal genius Steve Backshall will be here soon.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Steve's coming!

0:02:44 > 0:02:49- Fancy a game of snap?- Go on. - It's Mr Backshall to you, Derek.

0:02:54 > 0:02:59What's that? 61st deadliest animal? But there's only 60?

0:02:59 > 0:03:00I've got to see this.

0:03:03 > 0:03:10Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Steve Backshall! Hi, Steve.

0:03:10 > 0:03:15- Steve, hello. Where are you? Steve. Steve Backshall! Steve!- Hacker!

0:03:15 > 0:03:19- Hacker! I'm over here. - How did you get over there?

0:03:19 > 0:03:23- I'm like a ninja, Hacker. I just snuck right past you.- Oh, yeah!

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Hacks! Hacks! Where's this deadly animal then?

0:03:26 > 0:03:30- It's in the little box, Steve.- What, in this matchbox? That makes sense.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34Some of the most dangerous animals in the world are only very small.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Oh, yes. Have a look in here. It's a deadly flea!

0:03:37 > 0:03:41Give over, I thought it was a scorpion or black widow spider

0:03:41 > 0:03:42or something.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Oh, no! It's jumped on your head, Steve!

0:03:45 > 0:03:51Don't panic, they're completely harmless. Although...actually...ah!

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Oh, that's really quite nippy.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03All right. Fair enough. But it's still not deadly. I'm off.

0:04:03 > 0:04:08You're going nowhere, baby! Lock the doors!

0:04:10 > 0:04:13What's going on? Have you locked me in?

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Ah, Steve, please stay and be on my show.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18I'm a busy man. The only reason I'd stay here

0:04:18 > 0:04:21is if you've genuinely got a deadly animal here.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24- Deadlier than that flea, anyway. - Yeah, yeah. Sure I have.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28- I've got one. I'll show it to you later.- All right. OK.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31- I'll stick around. - Now, let's find out more about you.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34- Steve, press that button! - What, this one?

0:04:34 > 0:04:38Steve is a fully-working human man, one of the better ones.

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Nice shirt, Steve!

0:04:39 > 0:04:42He's got loads of info about animals,

0:04:42 > 0:04:46and he's always looking at them. Look at his eye! It's gone massive!

0:04:46 > 0:04:49But usually, he's getting among deadly ones like this.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52That's not deadly. That's better. Watch out, Steve!

0:04:52 > 0:04:55That snake might have a nibble on your nonsense!

0:04:55 > 0:04:57I don't know why he's always looking at animals.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Why doesn't he look at shoes? Or a bit of cake?

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Anyway, here's Steve Backshall.

0:05:02 > 0:05:07So, Steven, you're known for talking about animals, aren't you?

0:05:07 > 0:05:10- And you're pretty good at it. - Thank you very much.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13I've done it for a long time. I've filmed thousands of species,

0:05:13 > 0:05:15been to deserts, mountains...

0:05:15 > 0:05:19Whatever, Steven. That sounds great. Amazing.

0:05:19 > 0:05:23But I'd say that I'm better-er than you. Have a look at this.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Welcome to the Better-er Arena.

0:05:26 > 0:05:31This is where I make stuff better-er in a few simple steps.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Today, it's animal shows.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39Why waste your pennies going to the real jungle

0:05:39 > 0:05:40when the jungle can come to you?

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Man servants! Bring the...

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Hey, be careful! That got me right in the face!

0:05:45 > 0:05:50Put some leaves up there. Get your foliage evenly distributed.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53They've done this before. Eh, that's good that. Perfect.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56It's like I'm really there now. What next?

0:05:59 > 0:06:04Jungles also need noises... Cue the scary animal noises!

0:06:04 > 0:06:08Quack, quack! Quack, quack! Quack, quack! Quack, quack!

0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Quack! Quack!- Come on, you people.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Why are you being a dolphin and a duck in the jungle?

0:06:14 > 0:06:17What's wrong with that? All I can do is dolphins.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19I'm not just doing any duck -

0:06:19 > 0:06:22I'm the lesser spotted Fijian mallard.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Very exotic.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28- Yeah. - You two have ruined this for me!

0:06:28 > 0:06:35So, has Backshall ever found a duck or a dolphin in the jungle? No.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40Now, on my animal show,

0:06:40 > 0:06:44I don't just hold the animals like that softy Backshall.

0:06:44 > 0:06:51I wrestle them! Send in the mighty beast! What the...? Who are you?

0:06:51 > 0:06:53You're not ferocious.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57- I'm not ferocious, but I do make a mean flan.- A flan?

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Take that, you mooey! Now, come here!

0:07:05 > 0:07:10- Next, I'll take them all on!- Maaaaa! Maaa!- Too easy, easy, easy.- Maaaa!

0:07:10 > 0:07:14- Ma!- Is that all you've got, animal world?

0:07:14 > 0:07:18You sicken me with your weaknesses! Come on, I'll take any of you!

0:07:19 > 0:07:23What now? Another challenger? What is it this time?

0:07:23 > 0:07:26- A pathetic-yet-cute bunny rabbit? - GROWLING

0:07:38 > 0:07:42Interesting. I suppose you never want to get

0:07:42 > 0:07:46on the bad side of a bear like that, do you?

0:07:46 > 0:07:47What's up with you?

0:07:47 > 0:07:49I just remembered that thing you did.

0:07:49 > 0:07:54- And I am livid with you. - What are you talking about?

0:07:54 > 0:08:00About the time you BURST MY BALLOON!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02I'll have a play with my little balloon...

0:08:02 > 0:08:04# La, la la la la-la. #

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Hey, Steve Backshall. Do you want to play with my water balloon?

0:08:07 > 0:08:10Hey, what you doing with them tweezers?

0:08:10 > 0:08:11Steve, be careful with that!

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Don't put it near a little yellow snake like you always do!

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Let's see what happens.

0:08:19 > 0:08:24- Steve! That was the only water balloon I had left!- Ha ha ha!

0:08:24 > 0:08:28- That was amazing.- It wasn't amazing, it was bad behaviour.

0:08:28 > 0:08:33Sit, Steve. Well, Steve. What do you have to say about that then?

0:08:33 > 0:08:38That wasn't me...I promise. It wasn't. Hacker, I'll tell you what.

0:08:38 > 0:08:44- I'll get you another balloon.- A new balloon?- Yes.- Can it be a pink one?

0:08:44 > 0:08:48If you want a pink one, we'll get you a pink one. Stop, stop!

0:08:48 > 0:08:52- It's Hacker Time! Shouldn't we finish the show?- Do we have to?

0:08:52 > 0:08:57- I think it'd be a good idea, yes. - Fine. All right, then.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00Steven, I've got a few questions for you.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03- You spend a lot of time looking for animals, don't you?- Yes.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06What's wrong with you? Don't you like people?

0:09:06 > 0:09:11- Not very much, no. Oh! - Have you ever grappled a badger?

0:09:11 > 0:09:13- No.- How about a chaffinch?- No.

0:09:13 > 0:09:19- How about an albatross?- No.- A coot? - No!- A llama?- No!- A herring?- No!

0:09:19 > 0:09:22- A salamander?- Yes.- Really?- No!- Oh!

0:09:22 > 0:09:25What animals have you grappled with?

0:09:25 > 0:09:29- I haven't grappled with anything. - What sort of animal man are you?

0:09:29 > 0:09:31You've let me right down, you have.

0:09:31 > 0:09:36- Who invited this mooey on my telly show?- You did, Mr Hacker.- Oh, yeah!

0:09:36 > 0:09:42You're a great guest, Steven. Whoever invited you on was a genius.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46- Thank you very much. - That's enough of that nonsense now.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50It's time for some other nonsense - it's more of my howlers!

0:09:50 > 0:09:54You've got to watch this. Go on, then.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56You might recognise some of these, Steven.

0:09:56 > 0:10:02This time on Deadly 60, we're in the Philippines. Ha, ha, ha.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06This time on Deadly 60, we're in the Philippines.

0:10:06 > 0:10:11This time on Deadly 60, we're... Oh! This time...

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Bless you.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Woah! They can make themselves...

0:10:25 > 0:10:26LOUD PARP

0:10:31 > 0:10:36Out there are all of Africa's bad boys. All of them?

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Don't know what I'm talking about now.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41All of Africa's bad boys are out there...

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Bad boys of African wildlife. Bad boy of Africa's wildlife.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48Sorry! All of Africa's bad boys... Oh!

0:10:48 > 0:10:51The rest of the day... Ba ba ba ba ba!

0:10:51 > 0:10:55To get closer to our next deadly animals, we're going to use...

0:10:56 > 0:11:00- Watch your step, Steve. - Right, I meant to do that!

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Respect, that's for sure, and maybe be frightened of them.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05But our next step... Ha ha ha ha!

0:11:05 > 0:11:09Please tell me you were rolling! Please tell me you were rolling!

0:11:13 > 0:11:17Just purely with the force of gravity...

0:11:17 > 0:11:21I've completely destroyed this antique skull.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Quick! Ha ha ha!

0:11:30 > 0:11:33What did you think of that howler, Steve?

0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Did you howl like a wolf? - Wolves don't howl

0:11:36 > 0:11:38because they're laughing.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40They're communicating over distances.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42All right, Steve. Stop showing off.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46Every time! You can't help yourself! Now, Steve, listen.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49I have some more questions for you. Take them seriously.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51This is proper and that.

0:11:51 > 0:11:56- Spotlight, please, Herman! There it is.- That's a bit bright!

0:11:56 > 0:11:59All right, get over it. What is your favourite animal?

0:11:59 > 0:12:04- Actually, it's a wolf. - Oh, can you do impression of one?

0:12:04 > 0:12:08- Ohhhhhhh! Ruff, ruff, ruff! Oh, oh, oh, oh!- Is he all right?

0:12:08 > 0:12:12If you could combine two animals, what would they be, Steve?

0:12:12 > 0:12:18I'd probably stick a great white shark's head onto a budgerigar.

0:12:18 > 0:12:25- What would you call that? - I dunno. A budgeri...gate?- Very good.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27That's what you say, but you're not real.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29You're a man off the telly.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32I'm going to go and see what real people in the real world think.

0:12:32 > 0:12:36They actually matter, you know. Unlike YOU! That's right.

0:12:36 > 0:12:40I'm going to speak to some small human people about animals

0:12:40 > 0:12:44and get answers to some very important questions and that.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47They're in there. Let's just get in.

0:12:48 > 0:12:54Excuse me, would you open that door for me, please? Thanks.

0:12:54 > 0:12:59- I don't even know who that is. Hello, everyone!- Hello, Hacker!

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Today, I'm going to ask you all about animals.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04I'm going to start off over here, OK?

0:13:04 > 0:13:10- What's your favourite animal?- A tiger.- A tiger? Why, what do they do?

0:13:10 > 0:13:13- They scare you and you run away. - They do scare me.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16- I would run away from them. Would you?- Yes.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19You would, wouldn't you? Hello, what's your favourite animal?

0:13:19 > 0:13:23- A dog. A- dog? Oh, I'm not that keen on...

0:13:23 > 0:13:28Wait a minute, I'm a doggy. Who can do an impression of an animal?

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Raaaar!

0:13:31 > 0:13:36- What's your favourite animal? - A cat.- I don't like cats.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Do you know why?- Why?

0:13:38 > 0:13:43Because I'm allergic to them. And they make me... Achoo!

0:13:43 > 0:13:47Oh, no. I'm going to speak to some other little friends over there.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51I'd like you all to draw your two favourite animals

0:13:51 > 0:13:54combined into one ultimate animal.

0:13:54 > 0:14:00That's my one, right. It's a dog...and a duck. Oh, that's good.

0:14:00 > 0:14:05Come on, we've not got all day.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08OK, time is up! What is it?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10A cat and a butterfly.

0:14:10 > 0:14:15A cat and a butterfly - that's good. What noise does it make?

0:14:15 > 0:14:19- "Woof woof."- It'd go, "Woof! Woof! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!"

0:14:21 > 0:14:26What's your one? An elephant and a flamingo.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:14:28 > 0:14:33"Flap, flap, flap", I'd imagine. I'm not an expert. What's your one?

0:14:33 > 0:14:38- I made a cat and a bat. - Cat and a bat?- Mmmm-hmmm.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42Sort of rhymes, at least, don't they? What's your favourite animal?

0:14:42 > 0:14:48- My favourite animal is a puppy and a pony.- A puppy? Like me?

0:14:48 > 0:14:50- Yeah, you're so cute.- Thanks.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53And I like your cardigan, it's a lovely shade of grey.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55BOY GROWLS

0:14:55 > 0:14:59I've never seen anything like that.

0:14:59 > 0:15:00HACKER WAILS

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- That sounds like a baby. - No, it was a seagull.

0:15:08 > 0:15:09I can do that.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13HACKER SNEEZES

0:15:16 > 0:15:19If you clap your hands together, it sounds like a horse's hooves,

0:15:19 > 0:15:21doesn't it? Can you do that?

0:15:24 > 0:15:29Thank you! So, there you go. That's what everyone in the world thinks.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Now, back to me in the studio.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37What? Uh-oh, I am me. Oh, no.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Thank you.

0:15:42 > 0:15:48Steven! I have returned from my travels...Look at that.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50That little button there's nice.

0:15:50 > 0:15:55That looks like it could do with a little push. Argh, do not push!

0:15:55 > 0:15:58If I give it a little push, it wouldn't do it any harm, would it?

0:15:58 > 0:16:02Let's have a little...a little...a little go!

0:16:07 > 0:16:12- Oh...- Is that you?- Coming, Steve.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14What? This is a disaster.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17All the power's gone off in my house.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20What about the polar bear in the freezer?

0:16:20 > 0:16:24This is a nightmare. You're not going to believe this, mate.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27All the electricity's gone out everywhere.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29You haven't got anything to do with this?

0:16:29 > 0:16:31It wasn't me. I didn't push the button.

0:16:31 > 0:16:35You can't prove anything. I've got an alibi!

0:16:35 > 0:16:40- What button?- The... Oh, nothing, Steve. Nothing.

0:16:40 > 0:16:45Let's have a look what's coming up next. Derek, the menu, please!

0:16:46 > 0:16:51- That got it.- Still to come on Hacker Time - this...

0:16:51 > 0:16:55This... And this.

0:16:55 > 0:16:59What are they doing in there, Derek? Quick! Play some howlers!

0:17:02 > 0:17:04Look, here's my mate, Frank.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07- He thinks he's a skateboarder. - Oh, look.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10He's running FERRET... For it, a little joke.

0:17:10 > 0:17:17Aren't cats stupid? Look at that. This one's vacuuming his nose.

0:17:20 > 0:17:25Look at the size of that! That's going to need a big cat to catch it.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Oh, look. A rabbit playing football! Whatever next?

0:17:28 > 0:17:31A monkey attacking a woman with a green cap on.

0:17:31 > 0:17:35Oh, look! There's a back-flipping hamster and a rapping cat.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39Oh, go on, rabbit. Teach him a lesson. Get him! Go on.

0:17:39 > 0:17:44Chase him, that'll learn him. Hey, look! A couple of goats on a horse!

0:17:44 > 0:17:48They must be kidding! Don't brush up the dog, madam.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52Oh, I know him. He used to play for Tranmere Rovers.

0:17:52 > 0:17:57Oh, look, there's a little cat chasing a car. Oh, bodges.

0:17:58 > 0:18:03Hey, look, that dog's taking that dog for a walk. Oh, look! Duck feet.

0:18:03 > 0:18:07"I can't get on the plane? Why not?" "Cos you're a duck."

0:18:07 > 0:18:11It's fallen down in the water. Open the door. Let me out.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14Let me out! I've got to go to the lav.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17It's going to go everywhere... Oh, thank you.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24- What did you think of that, Steven? - Yeah, that was pretty good.

0:18:24 > 0:18:29But you promised me deadly animals. I haven't seen any yet, so...I'm off.

0:18:29 > 0:18:30Steve, sit down!

0:18:30 > 0:18:33Sit yourself down. Are you calling me a liar?!

0:18:33 > 0:18:36I haven't seen any deadly animals so...

0:18:36 > 0:18:38Keep your knick-knacks on.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Your deadly animal is coming right up.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Cover your eyes, Steven.

0:18:43 > 0:18:48Keep them covered! Man servant, bring in the deadly animal! Oh!

0:18:48 > 0:18:51Oh, there you go, Steve! Look at that!

0:18:56 > 0:19:00- Hacker, it's Barney, the Blue Peter dog.- Oh, Steven, how rude.

0:19:00 > 0:19:04Barney is a deadly animal, look at him.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07He's about the least-deadly thing I've ever seen.

0:19:07 > 0:19:11If you think he's deadly, why don't you put him to the deadly test?

0:19:11 > 0:19:14This is Barney. He is a dog.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17He's a sleepy little fellow and he likes a good nap.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20And he likes a good trump. Yes, he's seriously windy.

0:19:20 > 0:19:25Plus he likes going to the park. Not for the swings, but to go lav-lav.

0:19:25 > 0:19:29Fascinating, Hacker, but that doesn't score him much for size,

0:19:29 > 0:19:31speed or weapons.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34So I'm afraid Barney the dog is undeadly.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36What, he's not deadly?

0:19:36 > 0:19:40Hacker, he's one of the least deadly creatures I've ever seen.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42Hey, you've let me right down, you have.

0:19:42 > 0:19:46This is a disaster, Steve, what am I going to do?

0:19:46 > 0:19:49As you've got Barney here, how about you interview him?

0:19:49 > 0:19:52OK, yeah. I will do. What do you think of my telly show?

0:19:52 > 0:19:57The best telly show ever? Oh, Barney, you make me blush.

0:19:57 > 0:20:01What's that? Of course you can have my autograph.

0:20:01 > 0:20:06Do you want one from Steve as well? No? OK, fair enough.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09You do like Steve, though, don't you? Ha ha!

0:20:09 > 0:20:15- You can't say that about Steve. How rude!- What did he say?

0:20:15 > 0:20:18I won't say it. It's far too rude. I'm shocked.

0:20:18 > 0:20:22He might be rude, but he's still not deadly. I'm off.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26Hey, wait! I've got something to show you.

0:20:26 > 0:20:31- Something with animals in it. - Animals? Tell me more.- All right.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33I thought, "There aren't enough dogs on TV",

0:20:33 > 0:20:35so I've made a programme with a dog in it.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38Is that dog you, by any chance?

0:20:38 > 0:20:41It's Downstairs Abbey! You've got to watch it!

0:20:41 > 0:20:43You can watch it too, Barney.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54I, Hackerella, am right in love.

0:20:54 > 0:21:00I hope that one day I will be married to my master, Lord Percy.

0:21:00 > 0:21:07And to show my love, I'm folding his knick-knacks. Ah, Lord Percy.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13- Oh, Lord Percy...- Hey, I've told you before.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- You can't be in love him too. - BELL RINGS

0:21:19 > 0:21:24- Lord Percy! I'll go! Oh!- Tripped over his knick-knacks.

0:21:29 > 0:21:34Ah, girls. There you are. We have a visitor coming this afternoon.

0:21:34 > 0:21:39- The most beautiful lady in all the county.- But I'm already here!

0:21:39 > 0:21:44I am, of course, talking about Lady Sarah.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47- Oh...- And I've just found out

0:21:47 > 0:21:52that she loves cats, so I'll impress her with my cat photographs.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55- Oh, that's horrible! - Oh, no, make it stop.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58How dare you? Get out of my sight!

0:22:00 > 0:22:06- Hackerella, what are we going to do? - I have a plan.- Tell me, what is it?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12- I'm not going to dress up like a cat.- Yes, you are.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15- Never going to happen. - Yes, it is.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18- No!- Yes.- I will not be a cat! I'm never going to be a cat.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20- It's not going to happen. - Yes, you will.

0:22:20 > 0:22:25- No, I will not. What the...? How did this happen?- Ha ha, get in there.

0:22:25 > 0:22:30- Oh!- Ha ha ha ha ha.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Meow!

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Dodgina, why are you dressed as a cat?

0:22:35 > 0:22:39WATER SPLASHES Stop that! You dirty animal!

0:22:39 > 0:22:45- You disgust me! I hate you! - Lord Percy, what are you doing

0:22:45 > 0:22:48to this poor, defenceless girl?

0:22:50 > 0:22:55- You come with me. I'll look after you.- No, no, no.

0:22:55 > 0:23:01That's not a cat. It's a dog dressed as a cat!

0:23:01 > 0:23:03Oh, oh! She's gone.

0:23:03 > 0:23:08She's gone! Oh, will I ever find true love?!

0:23:08 > 0:23:11Sure you will, Lord Percy.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12Sure you will.

0:23:12 > 0:23:18You're right, Hackerella. You're right. I need you.

0:23:18 > 0:23:23- Oh, Lord Percy.- I need you to clean up Dodgina's lav-lav.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28I'm going after Lady Sarah.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32But it's gone everywhere. ..Oh, bodges.

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Well, wasn't that a strong piece of drama. Steve?

0:23:37 > 0:23:41That's almost the end of the show now. Thanks for coming.

0:23:41 > 0:23:46- That's all right. And I've forgiven you for tricking me as well.- Thanks.

0:23:46 > 0:23:47ROAR!

0:23:47 > 0:23:52- What the bodges is that?- It's the tiger. I thought I'd bring in

0:23:52 > 0:23:56- something impressive to give you a strong finish to the show.- Nah.

0:23:56 > 0:24:00"Nah"? The Bengal tiger is the largest of all the big cats.

0:24:00 > 0:24:04It's a truly ferocious beast, with canine teeth as long as your finger.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07- Well, my finger anyway. - Excuse me, Steve, do you mind?

0:24:07 > 0:24:12You can get rid of that tiger and get out of it while you're at it.

0:24:12 > 0:24:18- What? Some thanks that is.- Yeah. Bye, Steve! What a lovely man. Sit!

0:24:18 > 0:24:21Sit down. You're being unsavoury here.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25I'm really sorry, Herman, but Hacker doesn't want the tiger.

0:24:25 > 0:24:29- I think you'll have to release it into the wild.- OK, Mr Backshall.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33Come on, Mr Tiger. Let's get you home.

0:24:35 > 0:24:36Oh, bodges.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Lovely man, that Steve.

0:24:39 > 0:24:43It's time for my favourite animal LOLS from around the world.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46It's Hacker's Top Animal Howlers.

0:24:50 > 0:24:54At number five, my mate Clive doing an impression of a siren.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57DOG MAKES SIREN SOUND

0:24:57 > 0:24:59Isn't he good?

0:25:00 > 0:25:05It's getting a bit old now. You can stop it now!

0:25:05 > 0:25:07Give it a rest, will ya! Zip it!

0:25:09 > 0:25:12At number four, it's time for a bit of exercise.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Normally, it's just you humans that go to the gym,

0:25:15 > 0:25:17but take a look at this.

0:25:17 > 0:25:21Look at him go. Work those buns, Mr Cat.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24You're not going very fast!

0:25:24 > 0:25:29- Why not try a bit faster?- Meow! - No? You lazy mooey!

0:25:31 > 0:25:34In at three, here's another of my little doggy friends.

0:25:34 > 0:25:36Well, she's not that little.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39- I love you... - DOG: I love you.

0:25:39 > 0:25:42- I love you!- DOG: I love you. - Good girl.

0:25:42 > 0:25:47- DOG: I love you.- I love you! - DOG: I love you.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50Speak properly, will you?

0:25:50 > 0:25:54If only everyone could speak good like what I do and that.

0:25:55 > 0:26:00At number two is something I love. Trampolining.

0:26:00 > 0:26:05But have you ever seen a wild beast on a trampoline? You have now.

0:26:15 > 0:26:19Hang on, that's my trampoline. Get off it, with your filthy paws!

0:26:21 > 0:26:22And at number one,

0:26:22 > 0:26:26my favourite howler of the week is an animal going on a trip.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36What a mooey. Hey, Mr Deer, where's my postcard?

0:26:36 > 0:26:38That is the best one, that.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41And that's all of my howlers for this week.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43I hope you liked them and that.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46That's all I've got time for today.

0:26:46 > 0:26:49I could go on, but I've got better things to be doing.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52Thanks to animal genius Stevie Backshall for joining me

0:26:52 > 0:26:54of his own free will.

0:26:54 > 0:26:57We've just got time now for my brilliant song.

0:26:57 > 0:26:58Goodbye!

0:27:02 > 0:27:04# That is it for now the end of the show

0:27:04 > 0:27:08# I need the lav now so I'm going to go

0:27:08 > 0:27:09# I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:09 > 0:27:12# Put it in your diary it's called Hacker Time

0:27:12 > 0:27:14# We've had a LOL or two watching some clips

0:27:14 > 0:27:16# I laughed so hard that I nearly was sick

0:27:16 > 0:27:19# I'll show you more funny stuff when I'm next on

0:27:19 > 0:27:21# Who needs other telly shows mine's the best one

0:27:21 > 0:27:23# Steve Backshall, the animal man

0:27:23 > 0:27:26# Was my guest today

0:27:26 > 0:27:28# Showed him Barney the deadly dog

0:27:28 > 0:27:31# But he didn't look impressed so he could not stay

0:27:31 > 0:27:33# That is it for now the end of the show

0:27:33 > 0:27:36# I need the lav-lav so I'm going to go

0:27:36 > 0:27:38# I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:38 > 0:27:40# Put it in your diary it's called Hacker Time

0:27:40 > 0:27:43# Put it in your diary it's called Hacker Time

0:27:43 > 0:27:44# And that is the end of today's Hacker Time. #