Pollyanna Woodward

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0:00:01 > 0:00:04Are you going to watch this?

0:00:05 > 0:00:07You've got to watch this!

0:00:09 > 0:00:11You've got to watch this!

0:00:12 > 0:00:15My, my, my programme hits you so hard

0:00:15 > 0:00:17makes me think, "Oh, my word!"

0:00:17 > 0:00:20Thank you for watching me.

0:00:20 > 0:00:22You know it feels good

0:00:22 > 0:00:25with out-takes, too. Comedy clips and antics too.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28Sit back, don't do too much, this is a show you can't touch.

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you!

0:00:34 > 0:00:38Yoo-hoo! Over here! Hello! Sorry about that.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40I'm not doing a big introduction today.

0:00:40 > 0:00:44I've been working far too hard. I'm taking it nice and easy.

0:00:44 > 0:00:48I'll let my robotic invention pamper me instead.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52Hackertron 3000, where's my milky brew?

0:00:52 > 0:00:57Hackertron 3000 at your service. One milky brew coming up.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Oh, what are you doing? It's gone all down me!

0:00:59 > 0:01:03Sorry, Mr Hacker. Hackertron will clean you up.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06I'm wet through, now. Looks like I've had a trouser accident!

0:01:06 > 0:01:10There, there, Mr Hacker. More, please, now.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13Get off me, Hackertron!

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Will you make it up to me and get me a nice cake?

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Yes, Mr Hacker.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22It's supposed to make my life easier. It's not having that effect!

0:01:22 > 0:01:25Have you got my nice yummy cake, Hackertron?

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Yes, Mr Hacker.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30I said cake! That's a...snake!

0:01:31 > 0:01:35Malfunction! Dog not compute!

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Coming up!

0:01:37 > 0:01:39This...

0:01:40 > 0:01:42..this...

0:01:42 > 0:01:44and this!

0:01:44 > 0:01:47- Derek, play some howlers! - Malfunction!

0:01:50 > 0:01:52When you're ready, Steve.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57Come back!

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Whether it's vultures, hippos...

0:02:00 > 0:02:03I think not!

0:02:04 > 0:02:08Under its toes, which are zapping over me at a right old speed...

0:02:10 > 0:02:12He's got extra eyelashes

0:02:12 > 0:02:15and a sealable nose to protect him from the sand.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18What's your secret weapon?

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Ow! Ow, ow, ow!

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Ow! Ow, ow, ow!

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Find out how one high-flier from Barry

0:02:29 > 0:02:32is helping out other high-fliers from all over Wales.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35The tongue is very sticky at the end.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42I'm not having a lot of luck with this fellow!

0:02:46 > 0:02:48What a load of chaos and that.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52More hilarious howlers coming up later.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Hacker, your guest is here! She's coming!

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Can I have my paper plane back, please?

0:02:57 > 0:02:59I don't think so, love.

0:03:00 > 0:03:04Brilliant. I'm getting Pollyanna off The Gadget Show on today!

0:03:04 > 0:03:07Not that she knows it yet!

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Ah, "Amazing new invention. Hoverboards this way."

0:03:12 > 0:03:14I love new inventions! Count me in!

0:03:17 > 0:03:21Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's special guest,

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Gadget Guru, Pollyanna Woodward!

0:03:27 > 0:03:31What?! Special guest? I'm here for the hoverboards.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Hello, Pollyanna!- Wow, look at that!

0:03:34 > 0:03:38- I'm pretty, ain't I? - What? No, not you!

0:03:38 > 0:03:41I can't believe hoverboards actually exist!

0:03:41 > 0:03:43I invented it. Good, isn't it?

0:03:43 > 0:03:46- What, you invented this?- Oh, yes.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48I didn't realise rats were so clever!

0:03:48 > 0:03:50Oi, I'm Hacker, and I'm a tiny little tiny dog.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Sorry, Hacker. Can I have a go?

0:03:53 > 0:03:56I'm not sure. Humans are a bit big for it.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59It's only built for petite creatures like me.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Come on, I'm light as a feather. It'll be absolutely fine, promise.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Right, pop off, Hacker.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Oops! My go.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Woh! Wa-hey!

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Oh, wow!

0:04:12 > 0:04:15- Uh-oh!- Look what you've done! You've damaged that.

0:04:15 > 0:04:21What do you think you're playing at? You've broken it right up!

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Sorry, Hacker. I think I was a bit too heavy!

0:04:24 > 0:04:26I told you that, Pollyanna Woodward!

0:04:26 > 0:04:28You have shamed me!

0:04:28 > 0:04:32Hacker, is there anything, anything I can do to make it up to you?

0:04:32 > 0:04:35Well, funny you mentioned that.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37- There is, yes, there is something. - Uh-huh?

0:04:37 > 0:04:42You can be today's guest on my show. Lock the doors, Derek!

0:04:46 > 0:04:49Welcome to Hacker Time, Pollyanna. It's dead-drop fun.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53You'll love it on here. I've made you a fact file and everything.

0:04:53 > 0:04:58- Will you pull that lever? - What, that one?- Yes.- OK.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Pollyanna Woodward is a human.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04She presents The Gadget Show with a man who has a large foot.

0:05:04 > 0:05:09She often hangs around with a man with a big golden face. There he is!

0:05:09 > 0:05:11It's Pollyanna Woodward.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13What was that big face all about?

0:05:13 > 0:05:17I was at the Children's BAFTA awards. That's what the face was.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21Whatever. Pollyanna, do you have all the best gadgets that there are?

0:05:21 > 0:05:23I think I'm very up-to-date, yes.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26I say you're wrong. Big time!

0:05:26 > 0:05:30I have been making gadgets betterer. Look at this.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Welcome to the Betterer Arena.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37Today I will make gadgets betterer

0:05:37 > 0:05:40in a few simple, downloadable stunts.

0:05:43 > 0:05:47Gadgets have stupid names. So I will change that.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49First up, this kettle.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52No-one has a mug of kettle. They have a mug of milky brew.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55I'd call it the milky brewer!

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Anyone for a bevvy? I'll pop kettle on.

0:05:58 > 0:06:03Sorry. I don't know what you mean. Do you mean the milky brew...

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Yeah, I'll have a cup of tea. Milky brew. More milk than tea.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09And this was a vacuum cleaner.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Now it's the sucky-upper 5000, turbo edition.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16It does the same stuff, it just sounds more awesome.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18I'll just turn it on. See what happens.

0:06:23 > 0:06:28That's going to cost me! The coolest gadgets are as small as possible.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Stereos are smaller. Phones are smaller.

0:06:30 > 0:06:35And now I, Hacker T. Dog give you the miniature DVD player.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38Manservant! Come here.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40There it is.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Now, I invented this myself.

0:06:43 > 0:06:48It's right good. Manservant, insert the DVD disc, please.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Get it in there.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53Put it in so I can watch it.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Get it in! Put the disc in. I want to watch it! You'll enjoy it.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00You've damaged that!

0:07:02 > 0:07:06You buffoon! I want you gone, you clumsy moomie!

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Look at the state of this! It's beyond repair, that!

0:07:12 > 0:07:15A good gadget needs to serve more than one purpose.

0:07:15 > 0:07:20Camera/phone. MP3/phone. Video/phone.

0:07:20 > 0:07:24And now, people, the exercise phone.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26Ring my mum.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30- Mum, can you hear me? - 'Hacker, is that you?'

0:07:30 > 0:07:34- Yeah, it's me. Speak up, I can't hear you.- 'I can't hear you!'

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Mum, I'm speaking up. Listen.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39'You don't sound well. You should do some exercise.'

0:07:42 > 0:07:47- I don't think that exercise phone will take off.- Course it will!

0:07:47 > 0:07:51Pollyanna, you're dead good on that Gadget Show programme.

0:07:51 > 0:07:55I like all them futuristic toys you play with.

0:07:55 > 0:08:00It's great when we get to test gadgets all the time. Brilliant.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02And you have well-good competitions, too.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Every week, we give away loads of really cool prizes.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Normally. But what were you thinking the other week?

0:08:09 > 0:08:13You gave away a few weird prizes then. Look at this!

0:08:15 > 0:08:20That is level one of a competition that will blow your socks off.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24Check your feet at the end of this list and you'll see what I mean.

0:08:24 > 0:08:25An old plastic bone.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28A bottle of detergent. A scratched CD.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30A rubber chicken. A biscuit.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33A clock stuck at half ten. A comedy duck.

0:08:33 > 0:08:37A wooden fork. Roll of tape. One of my mum's gloves. A coat-hanger.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40An old man's hat. A mug. A gnome of a lazy quality.

0:08:40 > 0:08:44An orange. A bit of paper and Bob's your uncle. A shopping trolley.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47A bog brush. Trumpet. And today's special prize,

0:08:47 > 0:08:49a bath of cornflakes.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51That's not from my show, Hacker.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54What moomie would want those prizes?

0:08:54 > 0:08:59Lovely prizes. Prizes... Prizes...

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Ooh, I've always wanted a bath of cornflakes!

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Good exfoliater.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Prizes! Prizes!

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Hacker!- Ooh, where was I? Oh, yes. Pollyanna.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18I want to ask you some questions about gadgets and that.

0:09:18 > 0:09:22- Pay attention!- OK.- This is the serious interview bit

0:09:22 > 0:09:25- that proper presenters like Richard Hammond would do.- OK.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29What is the best gadget?

0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Smartphone.- Good answer.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Who invented dogs, and in what year?

0:09:34 > 0:09:38- Mr Butter in 1802.- Yes, he did.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41And what do you do when your pen runs out of ink?

0:09:41 > 0:09:44I can't find where to turn it off and on again.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47To be honest, what's a pen?

0:09:47 > 0:09:49It's a thing you keep pigs in, I think.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52What's your favourite... Oh, excuse me.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54What is your fav...

0:09:54 > 0:09:59What is your fav... Will you stop itching?!

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Oh, Hacker, ask Polly some better questions.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Or I wish I had a gadget to fast-forward this.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Pause! Pause!- No, that'll make it last longer!

0:10:09 > 0:10:13Not that pause, dog's paws! Yikes!

0:10:16 > 0:10:17Ah, that's got it.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21Now, where was I? Oh, I know. What is your, um...

0:10:21 > 0:10:27Oh, I've forgotten it. It's gone. I've disgraced myself, Pollyanna!

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Let's do something else instead.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34- We could watch some more howlers. - Good idea! Press that button, Polly.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37- I can call you Polly, can't I?- No.

0:10:40 > 0:10:44Would you know a good invention when you saw one? How about this?

0:10:47 > 0:10:51What a Charlie! Let's see some more invention nonsense.

0:10:51 > 0:10:56- Centrally-heated socks.- Eh? - Centrally-heated ski sticks.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00A ready-knotted tie with a zip along the loop.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03PLAYS NOTES

0:11:03 > 0:11:07At least play them in tune, love!

0:11:07 > 0:11:10This mountain bike is transformed into a two-seater

0:11:10 > 0:11:12by bolting on a conversion kit.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Here we go! Get it in the pocket!

0:11:17 > 0:11:18No!

0:11:22 > 0:11:25Crikey! A heck of a back-hand!

0:11:25 > 0:11:28Sid, get this salad dressed.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Come on, Sid, don't mess this up!

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Don't you... Oh, it's gone everywhere!

0:11:36 > 0:11:39Wasn't there a lot of gadgets playing up there!

0:11:39 > 0:11:42- That was great!- Pollyanna, listen.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45All this talk of gadgets has got me wanting to know more stuff.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48I've got a few more questions for you to answer.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51- But don't worry. It's all very light-hearted.- Great!

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- Herman, spotlight, please! - Right, Hacker.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Ooh!

0:11:59 > 0:12:02What gadget would you most like to invent, and why?

0:12:02 > 0:12:06A teleporter, because then I could get from one place to another

0:12:06 > 0:12:07instantly.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09- Draw it!- Draw it? OK.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11- Draw it down.- OK.

0:12:11 > 0:12:16- What noise would it make? - Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Woo-woo-woo-woo honk, honk, honk!

0:12:18 > 0:12:22Honk, honk, wheee! Ting!

0:12:22 > 0:12:26- Right, time's up. Now, let's see your picture.- OK.

0:12:27 > 0:12:31Oh, it's not bad at all, that!

0:12:31 > 0:12:35But I'm actually more interested in what real people think.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Look what I got up to the other day.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Thank you!

0:12:40 > 0:12:45Well, look who it is! TV superstar Hacker the Dog.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48I've come to some place where children do things

0:12:48 > 0:12:52to ask them some questions. They'll be excited to meet me, I imagine!

0:12:52 > 0:12:55I'll probably get mobbed and that.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57But such is life for a famous pooch!

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Deep breath, OK?

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Ha! Good one, guys! Come out.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07Come and say hello. Guys?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12- Hello!- Hello!

0:13:12 > 0:13:17Listen, if you invented a gadget, what would it be? What would it do?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19It would be the chair of the future

0:13:19 > 0:13:24and it could fly and you could watch TV on it and have your computer.

0:13:24 > 0:13:28That is the most amazing thing I've ever heard

0:13:28 > 0:13:29in the world of chairs.

0:13:29 > 0:13:34It's called the Obey-o-bot 2000 and it obeys all your commands.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- Is it like some sort of robot?- Yeah.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40I'd invent a watch that shows movies.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42A watch that shows movies?

0:13:42 > 0:13:44That's a fantastic idea.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Press a button and it turns the page,

0:13:46 > 0:13:49for people that read but hate turning the page.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52- Will you draw it so I can look at it?- Yeah.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Let's have a look. Commence the drawing.

0:13:55 > 0:14:00I'll be back shortly to peruse it using my eyes.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Hold it up.- It's the cat groomer.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- The brain speaker. - The robot tidy room.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18- Is that you?- No.- Who is it? - Sue Barker.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Sue Barker? I like Sue Barker.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23What noise does it make?

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Miaow! Miaow! Miaow!

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Wheeeee!

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Nee-nah! Nee-nah!

0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Haaa!- If it made this noise, what would be wrong with it?

0:14:34 > 0:14:36HOWLS

0:14:36 > 0:14:38What would that mean?

0:14:38 > 0:14:40It would be Hackertised!

0:14:40 > 0:14:44So these people have come up with some fabulous gadgets

0:14:44 > 0:14:46and lots of interesting drawings.

0:14:46 > 0:14:50But lots of very weird noises! See you all again! Bye-bye!

0:14:50 > 0:14:52Bye!

0:14:53 > 0:14:54Thank you.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Didn't I look attractive in that bit?

0:14:57 > 0:14:59You looked like you'd been to the dog parlour.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01On the Gadget Show,

0:15:01 > 0:15:05you get to play with all the inventions before everyone else.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- I do, and it's great fun. - What I want to know is this.

0:15:08 > 0:15:13What is going to be the next big invention to change the world?

0:15:13 > 0:15:17There is going to be one thing that will change everything.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21- But it's a secret. Can't tell you. - Go on, pretty please!

0:15:21 > 0:15:24If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anybody.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27I'm dead good at keeping secrets.

0:15:27 > 0:15:31I never told anyone about that boil that Ian's got on his bottom.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Hello. Breaking news today.

0:15:36 > 0:15:40TV loser Ian Sterling has got a boil on his bum!

0:15:44 > 0:15:47OK, Hacker. I'll tell you, but you have to keep schtum.

0:15:47 > 0:15:53There have been a team of experts working on a brand-new technology

0:15:53 > 0:15:56that will absolutely revolutionise...

0:15:56 > 0:15:59Very interesting. Oh, look!

0:15:59 > 0:16:02A button. That button looks like it needs a good push.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05Because buttons were invented for pushing.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08It's a kind of gadget. I'll give it a little push.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11"Do not push". That is a miserable sign.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14I want to give that button a nice little push.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17I can't see what could possibly go wrong.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19ALARMS SOUND

0:16:19 > 0:16:23..as I talk to you at home. People are gasping. The lights are out.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32..the whole world of computer games is to change forever.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- I hope they press on with building it.- I didn't press anything!

0:16:35 > 0:16:37It wasn't me! I didn't break it!

0:16:37 > 0:16:41- Sorry?- I didn't press it! Maybe an eagle swooped in and did it.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45- Or an annoyed pigeon. It wasn't me, though!- What?!

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Er, oh, nothing.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50Not a thing. No.

0:16:50 > 0:16:54- Did you just mention a pigeon? - Me? Nah.

0:16:54 > 0:16:58Anyway, moving on, I've got some good news for you, baby.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02- And what's that? - The show's not over, yet.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04Derek, the menu!

0:17:04 > 0:17:06Yes, Hacker, here we go.

0:17:07 > 0:17:08Still to come today: this...

0:17:10 > 0:17:11this...

0:17:11 > 0:17:14and this. What?! Who are they?

0:17:14 > 0:17:16They're not on! Put something else on, Derek!

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Here's some more howlers.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21It may look like a piece of garden furniture,

0:17:21 > 0:17:23but that's a cunning disguise!

0:17:23 > 0:17:26All I do is lift and separate

0:17:26 > 0:17:29and hey presto! Just what you always wanted!

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Hang on, how did he get in there?

0:17:31 > 0:17:36What's this chap doing with them silly ear things on?

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Oh, you cheeky moomie!

0:17:38 > 0:17:41Feeling down? Carry these smiley specs round with you.

0:17:41 > 0:17:45Ever been tired at school and wanted a quick doze?

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Try using a pair of these.

0:17:47 > 0:17:51No-one will be nil the wiser, baby!

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Want to get fit?

0:17:54 > 0:17:57Well, don't use one of these! You'll look a right Charlie!

0:17:59 > 0:18:02Don't you hate it when you get given a little slice of cake?

0:18:02 > 0:18:05No need to worry with this piece of rubbish! Look!

0:18:05 > 0:18:07I wouldn't mind one of these, though!

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Ooh, it's the flying car.

0:18:14 > 0:18:18- They had me lolling out loud. - They're funny, aren't they?

0:18:18 > 0:18:22But instead of showing you old dodgy inventions,

0:18:22 > 0:18:24I want to show you ones that really work.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26Because technology is wonderful.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29So I nipped out and grabbed this.

0:18:29 > 0:18:30This is the Dog-o-Matic.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33It's a brand-new machine that will pamper dogs to the max.

0:18:33 > 0:18:37This isn't even in the shops yet. It's a TV exclusive.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Oooh!

0:18:39 > 0:18:42It'll wash, blow-dry and give you a relaxing massage.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44The height of luxury. Fancy giving it a go?

0:18:44 > 0:18:49Moi? Pollyanna, I have a high level of cleanliness already.

0:18:49 > 0:18:50I don't need to go in that thing.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52SNIFFS

0:18:52 > 0:18:55On second thoughts, maybe I will give it a go.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57I think that's wise.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59OK, jump on in.

0:18:59 > 0:19:03- Ready!- OK. Let's see what we need to do.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05First, you need to select a programme.

0:19:05 > 0:19:10- Tracy Beaker.- Not that kind of programme, a washing programme!

0:19:10 > 0:19:13Option one is basic. A shampoo and blow-dry.

0:19:13 > 0:19:17Option two is enhanced, so you get a massage with that one.

0:19:17 > 0:19:23Or option three, the premium, a manicure and hot wax!

0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Which one takes your fancy? - Option four!

0:19:25 > 0:19:29- Doesn't even say what that one does. - Put it on. It'll be fun!

0:19:29 > 0:19:31Are you sure? OK.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34There we go. Option four it is.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37You need some shampoo in there. I've got some right here.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39OK. There we go.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Put some more in, Pollyanna.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43A bit more, come on.

0:19:43 > 0:19:48Come on, Woodward! Don't be shy of it! More!

0:19:48 > 0:19:52For goodness' sake, just squeeze it all in. What's wrong with you?

0:19:52 > 0:19:56- I want to get clean.- Right. Let's get this thing started.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05There's lather and everything, Poll!

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Faster, Pollyanna!

0:20:07 > 0:20:12- Faster? Are you sure?- Yeah, turn it up!- What, to C?- Yeah, to C!

0:20:12 > 0:20:15- But that's off the scale!- Good!

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Pollyanna!

0:20:19 > 0:20:22- Huh?- Can you make it stop now?

0:20:22 > 0:20:24There's a bit of a problem, Hacks.

0:20:24 > 0:20:28- I don't know how to turn it off! - Oh, budgies!

0:20:34 > 0:20:38Well, at least you're shampooed. Let's see your clean fur.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45What is it? Do I look pretty?

0:20:45 > 0:20:48- In a way.- Show me a mirror, Pollyanna!

0:20:48 > 0:20:51- I don't have one. - I've seen it in your pocket!

0:20:51 > 0:20:53OK. If you insist.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57What have you done to me?!

0:20:57 > 0:20:59I look like a big pink monster!

0:20:59 > 0:21:03Worst of all, I'll clash with my favourite pink dress!

0:21:03 > 0:21:04How did this happen?

0:21:04 > 0:21:09I got the bottles mixed up. It's pink hair dye, not shampoo!

0:21:09 > 0:21:11Derek, put a video on, quick!

0:21:11 > 0:21:13I'm on it!

0:21:20 > 0:21:26'I, Dodgina, am in love. And even though I'm just his lowly maid,

0:21:26 > 0:21:29'I'm in love with my master.'

0:21:29 > 0:21:33Lord Percy, I love you!

0:21:33 > 0:21:36Hey, I was in love with him first

0:21:36 > 0:21:38and I love him more! Look!

0:21:39 > 0:21:41BELL RINGS

0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Oh, Lord Percy, Lord Percy! I'll go. - No, I'll go!

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Ah, girls. There you are.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54Today is an important day.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56It is the birthday of Lady Sarah,

0:21:56 > 0:21:59the most beautiful lady in the county.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Yuk.

0:22:01 > 0:22:05If I'm to make her my wife, I need to impress her with a present.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07Some flowery nick-nacks?

0:22:07 > 0:22:11No, no, no. I need you to find out what Lady Sarah likes.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Yes.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18What are you waiting for? Get going!

0:22:20 > 0:22:23Dodgina, where are you going?

0:22:23 > 0:22:25We have to find out what Lady Sarah likes.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27No, we don't, Dodgina.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29For I have a plan!

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Look at the state of him!

0:22:37 > 0:22:40You're absolutely sure this is what she likes?

0:22:40 > 0:22:42She loves it.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Well, if that's what you found out.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48A-hem! Lady Sarah!

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Lady Sarah! Happy birthday.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56Why, thank you, Lord Percy.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58And I got you some presents.

0:22:58 > 0:23:03To get your first, you just have to pull my finger.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06If that is what you wish, Lord Percy.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08FARTING NOISE

0:23:08 > 0:23:11Oh, Lord Percy!

0:23:11 > 0:23:13And now, let's wrestle!

0:23:28 > 0:23:30Lord Percy, what are you doing?

0:23:30 > 0:23:34Your two favourite things - trumping and wrestling.

0:23:34 > 0:23:37I hate trumping and wrestling!

0:23:37 > 0:23:40This is the worst birthday ever!

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Never speak to me again!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44But Lady Sarah!

0:23:45 > 0:23:48That was a disaster!

0:23:48 > 0:23:50And you are going to pay for it!

0:23:50 > 0:23:53It's wrestle time!

0:23:54 > 0:23:56The pooper-scooper!

0:24:01 > 0:24:05- How do I look, Pollyanna?- As good as new, back to your scruffy self.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07- Move all that stuff away.- OK.

0:24:07 > 0:24:11That new pampering machine wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15Technology sometimes doesn't work how you expect. No-one's to blame.

0:24:15 > 0:24:19Yes, you're to blame! You made me look like a right moomie, Pollyanna.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22I've lost all credibility now as a fashion icon.

0:24:22 > 0:24:26And you broke my hoverboard. You're lethal around gadgets.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29- I don't know how you hold down your job!- But...- Get out. Off with you.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33- I've had enough.- OK.- Go on!

0:24:33 > 0:24:34Sorry, Hacker. See you.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37- You can keep that pink stuff. - I'll remember you.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41- Bye.- Mind your head.- Bye.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45What a nice woman.

0:24:45 > 0:24:50Now that she's gone, I'll show you the best LOLs from around the world.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51It's time for...

0:24:56 > 0:25:00At number three, there's loads of amazing inventions,

0:25:00 > 0:25:03but this definitely isn't one of them!

0:25:03 > 0:25:05Cleaning your teeth is an essential chore.

0:25:05 > 0:25:10But over-enthusiastic brushing can result in excessive foam build-up

0:25:10 > 0:25:12on your bathroom mirror.

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Here's the smart solution.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16A Chindogu toothbrush splash-guard

0:25:16 > 0:25:18with patented transparent dome

0:25:18 > 0:25:21to protect your surroundings from toothpaste waste.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24So don't be down with a frown.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27Smile as you reflect on your spotless mirror

0:25:27 > 0:25:30thanks to the toothbrush splash-guard from Chindogu.

0:25:35 > 0:25:37In at two: computers are good and that,

0:25:37 > 0:25:40but they can't do everything, can they?

0:25:40 > 0:25:44I mean, imagine if they could fly!

0:26:13 > 0:26:15The computer flew!

0:26:15 > 0:26:17My mug can fly. Look.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22Must be out of petrol.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25My number one technology howler is this.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28It may look like a man lying in bed,

0:26:28 > 0:26:31but look what happens next.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33ALARM RINGS

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Oh, no! I'm late again!

0:26:42 > 0:26:46What's he like, eh? Ooh, nice duvet, though. Very nice.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52His bed was a car.

0:26:52 > 0:26:54What a LOL!

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Thanks for watching my show today.

0:26:57 > 0:27:00It's been above par, I think you'll agree.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02Wasn't Pollyanna good and that?

0:27:02 > 0:27:07I've learned loads more about, um, whatever she was talking about.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10I'll leave you today with me singing a song

0:27:10 > 0:27:12cos I'm a right good singer.

0:27:12 > 0:27:13See you!

0:27:19 > 0:27:21- #- That is it for now, the end of the show

0:27:21 > 0:27:23- #- I need the lav now so I'm going to go

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- #- I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:26 > 0:27:28- #- Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time

0:27:28 > 0:27:31- #- We've had a LOL or two, watching some clips

0:27:31 > 0:27:33- #- I laughed so hard I nearly was sick

0:27:33 > 0:27:35- #- I'll show you more funny stuff when I'm next on

0:27:35 > 0:27:38- #- Who needs other telly shows? Mine's the best one

0:27:38 > 0:27:43- #- I tried gadgets with a girl, Pollyanna from The Gadget Show

0:27:43 > 0:27:45- #- She tried to do stuff with my hair

0:27:45 > 0:27:48- #- But it went awry so she had to go

0:27:48 > 0:27:50- #- That is it for now, the end of the show

0:27:50 > 0:27:52- #- I need the lav now so I'm going to go

0:27:52 > 0:27:55- #- I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:55 > 0:27:57- #- Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time

0:27:57 > 0:27:59- #- Put it in your diary, it's called Hacker Time

0:27:59 > 0:28:02- #- That is the end of today's Hacker Time!- #