0:00:03 > 0:00:04# You gotta watch this
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# You gotta watch this
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# You gotta watch this!
0:00:12 > 0:00:16# My, my, my, my Programme hits you - so hard
0:00:16 > 0:00:18# Makes me say, oh my word
0:00:18 > 0:00:19# Thank you for watching me
0:00:19 > 0:00:21# It's telly, but not what you normally see
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# It feels good, there's out-takes too
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Comedy, guests and clips, it's true
0:00:25 > 0:00:27# So sit back, don't eat too much
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# This is the show you can't touch
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- # Stop!- Hacker time! #
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Hello!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38It's me, Dodge T Dog,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41and welcome to...Dodge Time!
0:00:41 > 0:00:45Unfortunately, Hacker is, um... "unavailable" today,
0:00:45 > 0:00:47so he's asked me to fill in.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49I'm in charge!
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Coming up, we've got this.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52SQUEAK!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54We've got this.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56And we've got him.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00So don't go away.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Keep it tuned into Dodge Time.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04It's all mine, baby!
0:01:04 > 0:01:06RATTLING
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Uh, yeah, it'll be really good. - Hello? Hello, let me in!
0:01:09 > 0:01:13- Sorry about that, must be, um, mice. Giant mice, yeah.- Hello?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15- Let me in! - Let's start, shall we?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Derek? Run the howlers.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19It's mice, promise.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Arf?
0:01:20 > 0:01:25Dodger! What's all this? What are you doing, you filthy animal?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- Oh, budgerigars. - You locked me out, didn't you?
0:01:27 > 0:01:30I can't believe it, you disgust me, Dodge.
0:01:30 > 0:01:35Now clear off, and don't come back until Downstairs Abbey time later.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- Oh, but Hacker...- Go! Leave!
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Get out of it!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40What's he like, eh?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42You're watching Hacker Time.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Run the howlers, please, Derek.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- That's the wrong way, Dodge. - Yeah...oh...
0:01:50 > 0:01:52And that's goats milk.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56LAUGHTER
0:02:00 > 0:02:01Ow!
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- Oof!- Oh!
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Ow!
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Bit by a horse! He bit my hand!
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Have you got one of the little things you put in your trolley
0:02:18 > 0:02:20to save using a pound?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Cos I've got one of them going, if you want that as well.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Never mind.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27- BEEP - Beep.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- BEEP - Beep.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Went well.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Ha-ha, what a lot of mishaps.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43More howlers later...
0:02:43 > 0:02:44HONKING
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Oh! They're here, Hacker.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Today's guests!
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Oh, good.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53I've got a dead good double act coming in today.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Hey up, Joely. Have you seen this?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Oh, toilets this way. I could do with, you know...
0:02:59 > 0:03:00No, no, not that. This.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02"Britain's best double act needed."
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Who are they?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I can't remember.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Oh no, no, it's us. It's us.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Come on, it's us.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's very special guests,
0:03:14 > 0:03:16JK and Joel!
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Woo-hoo!
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- Oh!- Hey!- Thank you!- Thank you!
0:03:22 > 0:03:24JK and Joel, what are you doing here?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26We saw the sign and followed it.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28What, "Toilets this way"?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30No, the other sign. "Britain's best double act needed."
0:03:30 > 0:03:34That's a coincidence. I'm trying to trick Britain's best double act
0:03:34 > 0:03:35into coming on my show.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Hey, well, look no further.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Why, who's here?- Hey.- Hey.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41You cheeky, scruffy mutt.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43We are Britain's best double act.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46We've done shows like Remote Control Star, Hider In The House,
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Escape From Scorpion Island, and we have 10 metre swimming badges.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Oh, that's good, ain't it?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- Come this way.- Come on.- But before I let you be guests on my show,
0:03:55 > 0:03:59can I check you definitely didn't see Sam and Mark, or Dick and Dom
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- milling around outside, looking available?- Watch it.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04- Aw.- Yeah, we're here to stay.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07We are the best double act in town. What's first? What happens?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Are you going to show your viewers
0:04:09 > 0:04:11a nice little fact file of what we've done,
0:04:11 > 0:04:13like our successes and achievements?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Ah, no, I didn't prepare one.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19I was kind of holding out that Paul and Barry Chuckle might drop in.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Cheeky. But don't worry about that, Hacker,
0:04:21 > 0:04:24cos JK always carries around a handy fact file on DVD, just in case.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Oh, yeah. Where do you want it?
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Over there.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Hey. Play that, Derek.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35JK and Joel are great big TV and radio megastars.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38They have presented on loads of radio stations,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40including BBC Radio 1,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43and have won tons of awards, because they're brilliant.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46And did we mention that they are fantastic on the telly, too?
0:04:46 > 0:04:51Having hosted several of CBBC's best shows, including Hider In The House
0:04:51 > 0:04:55and Remote Control Star. You're lucky to have them here today.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57It's JK and Joel!
0:04:59 > 0:05:02So, you two have been a double act for ages and that, haven't you?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Yeah, 15 years, but obviously we started when we were really young.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Yeah, you two are great and that,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09but you're a bit too silly for my liking.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14I am sensible! And I want telly to be more sensible too.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Look at this. Pull that lever.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17- This one here?- Yeah.- OK.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Welcome to the Betterer Arena.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Today, I'm going to make TV more sensibler,
0:05:24 > 0:05:26in a few serious steps.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Step one!
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Now, in order to make TV more sensible,
0:05:34 > 0:05:38top-notch presenting talent like myself have to talk sensible.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42And to do that, I have to be more thoughtful.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46'That's right. Well said, Hacker. I can be thoughtful and that.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49'Are butterflies ticklish?
0:05:49 > 0:05:53'I wonder who is hairier, Barney Howard or Dodger?
0:05:53 > 0:05:57'It's weird that I'm cuter when I smile and tilt my head to the right,
0:05:57 > 0:05:59'rather than when I tilt it to the left.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02'Am I quick enough to catch my tail with my mouth?'
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Step two!
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Hmm, note to self - need to get a longer tail.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26Anyway, step two in my mission to make TV more sensibler
0:06:26 > 0:06:28is to dress more sensibler.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Just look at me and my little shirt and tie.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Ain't I smart?
0:06:34 > 0:06:36It is a bit restrictive, though.
0:06:36 > 0:06:37But...
0:06:37 > 0:06:40I could be prime minister dressed like this.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42But it's not me, and it's itching.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44I can't live a lie! Get off me!
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I still look lovely in my little pink dress.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Step three!
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Right, so I look sensible.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Now it's time to talk sensible and that,
0:06:57 > 0:06:59and act sensible!
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Watch me do it. Ahem.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05I say, isn't the weather splendiferous this fine day?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08I sincerely hope the opportunity has arisen
0:07:08 > 0:07:10to whence I may have a parlance
0:07:10 > 0:07:14with an equally intellectualised canine such as myself. And...
0:07:14 > 0:07:17A balloon! I like balloons!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Hey, look, a little fun balloon!
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Come here, you.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24I'm going to play with this balloon.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Oh. Mum! Mum!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29I'm being whisked away by a balloon again!
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Yes, very sensible, Hacker.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Pipe down, JK or Joel!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- I'm not talking to you.- Why not?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I've just remembered the time you wronged me
0:07:39 > 0:07:41when you were filming Remote Control Star.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Hang on. You weren't even there
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- when we filmed Remote Control Star. - Yes, I was!
0:07:46 > 0:07:49With my brand-new pet fish. Look!
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Hang on. We're in the right place, look. "The natural pedicure."
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- Hang on. There's a picture of feet and fish.- So?- I don't like fish.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Oh, I love my new fishies!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I'm very happy with them.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02That's Dom there, and that's Jerry.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Oh look, there's Jamie.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07I've not got time to name them all now,
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I have a few bits of shopping to carry on with,
0:08:10 > 0:08:12so I'll leave you lot here for now.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13They'll be fine, won't they?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16And you, don't do any more of that stuff, Geoffrey.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18I've told you before.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Come on, then, it can't be that bad.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23I don't know if I can do this.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- I really don't like fish! - Well, look. Just hovering.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28DRUMROLL
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Come on.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Three two one, go!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36What the budgies?
0:08:36 > 0:08:37What on earth are you doing
0:08:37 > 0:08:40with your stinking feet in my new fish tank?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Don't like it, don't like it.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43You do, you do like it.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47- I don't, I don't like it.- Don't like it? Then don't do it, mate.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50I'm sure my fish aren't so keen.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52You're a disgrace.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57No, no, no, that's it. I can't do it, I can't do it.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02- What have you to say for yourself, JK?- I've got really smooth feet.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Really smooth.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Well, I'm going to have to move on, but I've still not forgiven you.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11I can still smell your feet in my fish tank.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I want to learn about being in a double act,
0:09:13 > 0:09:17so I'm going to ask you some proper questions, like real TV presenters
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- like Helen Skelton do, is that all right?- Yeah, OK.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Question one. When?
0:09:22 > 0:09:23When what?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27- Exactly. Hey, Joel, come over here. - What do you want?- Come here.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Round there?- Come on.- OK.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30- Get nice and close.- Close?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- Right.- So, question two.- OK.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Do you ever wish you hadn't bothered teaming up with him,
0:09:35 > 0:09:38and had gone it alone instead?
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- Yeah.- All right, you can go back to your seat now.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43- Don't tell JK.- I won't tell him.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- What was that?- Nothing. - Hey, JK! Come over here!
0:09:46 > 0:09:47- All right, then.- Come on,
0:09:47 > 0:09:51get around here. Ssh. Don't let him notice.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Don't you think that JK's feet really smell?
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I'm JK.
0:09:57 > 0:10:02Ah...whoops. You can go back now!
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Right, another question.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06What was the first thing you... Excuse me.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08What was the first... Oh, not again.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09What was that first...
0:10:09 > 0:10:11WILL YOU STOP IT!
0:10:13 > 0:10:17Hacker, you're a disgrace. Ask them how to be a comedy double act.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Oh, that's easy, follow my lead.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20I say, I say, I say,
0:10:20 > 0:10:24what looks like two fleas and is about to get hit by a giant paw?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I do not know.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- Us!- Oh!- Yoink!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Ooh, that's got it. Woof, ha-ha.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Now what was I on about? Erm, was...
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Have you watched your... No, not a clue.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Well, I can't imagine you giving a very interesting answer anyway, eh?
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Hey?
0:10:41 > 0:10:45Shall we watch some more double acts being stupid?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Yes, sounds good.- All right then,
0:10:47 > 0:10:49make yourself useful and flick that switch!
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- Not that one! That one.- Oh.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56BEEP
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Beep. You all right?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- Yeah.- What have you got there, then?
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Eggs.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Oh, have you checked your eggs?
0:11:06 > 0:11:10Last week I had a lady in, right, who didn't check her eggs,
0:11:10 > 0:11:15and when she got home, she had eggs all over her luxury European cereal.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16I said to her the next day,
0:11:16 > 0:11:18"Ooh!
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- "Should have checked your eggs, love."- All right!
0:11:21 > 0:11:23- I'll check my eggs.- Go on.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24They all right?
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Look closer.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29I've got a cracked egg.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31MUSIC: "Bad Boys" by Alexandra Burke
0:11:31 > 0:11:33# The bad boys
0:11:33 > 0:11:35# Are always catching my eye
0:11:35 > 0:11:36# Ooh-way, ooh-wah
0:11:36 > 0:11:38# I said the bad boys
0:11:38 > 0:11:41# Are always spinning my mind
0:11:41 > 0:11:43# Ooh-way, ooh-wah
0:11:43 > 0:11:46# Even though I know they're no good for me
0:11:46 > 0:11:50# It's the risk I take for the chemistry
0:11:50 > 0:11:55# With the bad boys always catching my eye
0:11:55 > 0:11:57# Ooh-way, ooh-way, ooh-wah... #
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Stop it!
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Two people are sometimes funnier than just one person.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11Now, Joel, do you really like JK in real life?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Yeah, of course, cos we've been best mates for 15 years. Like that.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19- Really?- Yeah.- I thought it was all a clever act. I'm going to quiz you
0:12:19 > 0:12:22on being friends, and see if you're telling the truth.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Are you ready?- We're ready.- Yeah.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Spotlight, please, Herman.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- Oof.- Ow! Ouch!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Go! Joel, what size feet does the other one have?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Six.- Is that right?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- No, seven-and-a-half.- Ha! JK, what is Joel's middle name?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Dominic.- Is that right?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- He's right.- Joel!
0:12:43 > 0:12:46What design does JK have on his duvet?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49He has, erm, flowers.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Is that right?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52- How do you know?- Is that right?- Yeah.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- HOOTER - Stop!
0:12:55 > 0:12:56You two are good,
0:12:56 > 0:12:58but I'm going to see if there's betterer mates out there.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I'm off to talk to some real people and that. See you!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03And don't break anything!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- We won't. - I'll be keeping my eye on you.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Thank you.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- Hello!- Hello.- Hello.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13I'm going to ask some questions about your friend.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17Cos when you're best friends, you're like a double act, aren't you?
0:13:17 > 0:13:18I'll ask you first.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21What size feet does your friend have?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Um, size 4.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- Four? Is that right?- Yeah.- Hurray!
0:13:25 > 0:13:28What is the silliest thing your friend's ever done?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Flushed her sister's sock down the toilet.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Flushed it down the toilet? A sock?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34That's the right answer! Hurrah!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36What is your friend's pet's name?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Hmm...he doesn't have one.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- Do you not have a pet?- I do!- You do?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42He has got a pet!
0:13:42 > 0:13:45You're not a proper double act. You didn't even know that.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48What is your friend's worst habit?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- She bites her nails.- Is that true?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Yeah.- You're right. Let's have a look. Hold them up.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55They look all right. They're not so bad, them.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59What design does your friend have on her duvet?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01It's plain white.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03- Plain white, is that right?- Yeah.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Plain white, hurray! It's the right answer.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10What design is on your friend's duvet?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- Pink polka dots.- Is that true?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- Yes.- Pink polka dots. I'm amazed!
0:14:14 > 0:14:18What does your friend have in his pocket right now?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Er...a dice.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21- Right, is that true?- Yeah.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Let's have a look, then.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27I want to see evidence of said dice. He's got a dice in his pocket!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29You two are truly great friends.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32What size feet does your friend have?
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Six and a half.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Six and a half, is that true?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Yes.- Hurray! That's the correct answer!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40What is your friend's middle name?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Hmm...David.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43David, is that true?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46And what is your friend's middle name?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48John Joseph.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Correct? They are both correct.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52They have got all those right.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Bob's your uncle, they are best friends, aren't you?- Yes.- Hurrah!
0:14:55 > 0:14:59In this group, we've found some great double-acts
0:14:59 > 0:15:01who know lots about each other,
0:15:01 > 0:15:04like their shoe sizes, some of them have the same bad habits,
0:15:04 > 0:15:07and they all go through each other's pockets.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10That's great but weird.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Thank you for all your help, folks. See you later.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- ALL:- Bye.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Thank you.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21JK and Joel are back.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Oh, look at that button.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27That looks like it would benefit from a little cheeky pushing.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Oh, the sign says, don't push it.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34I can't see what harm it would do if I gave it a little push.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Covered in muck! Haha!
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Classic button behaviour.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Hacker, this tea is disgusting.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- It's awful. It's like slime. - Slime?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- Gunk.- Gunk?
0:16:03 > 0:16:07It wasn't me. I didn't press anything. Don't take me away.
0:16:07 > 0:16:12- Hacker, what are you on about? - The button...!- What?- Er...nothing.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17- Forget I said anything. - Forget what?- Nothing!
0:16:17 > 0:16:21It's time for the menu thing, now. Let us never talk of this again.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- Derek, press that button thing. - Sorry, Hacker. Here we go.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Still to come today, this,
0:16:28 > 0:16:30this...
0:16:31 > 0:16:33..and this...hang on, who's he?
0:16:33 > 0:16:37He's not on it. Quick, Derek, grab some more howlers.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Oh, look. Oh, no!
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Ferrets on her legs!
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Ferrets...I like ferrets.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Oh, look at that man! Be careful. Oh, no.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Oh, no. He's got a bit of something on him.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Chase him!
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Mind your face. Mind you face!
0:17:11 > 0:17:15What a pain! I meant the glass. Oh, no.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20He fell down. Chase your tail, little cat.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Where have you 'bin'? Bin, you see? A little joke there.
0:17:25 > 0:17:30# The tree fell down and damaged his wall. #
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Oh, no, don't fall!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35He bumped his head!
0:17:35 > 0:17:38See-saw. See...Oh!
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Moisture again.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47What's going to happen?
0:17:47 > 0:17:51Be careful. Not the suitcases. No!
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Be careful. Oh, look!
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Haha! He landed on him.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Comedy just ensued.
0:18:08 > 0:18:13JK and Joel, you have impressed me with your comedy double-act ways.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16If I do say so myself, we are rather professional.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- It's into that camera, there. - Oh, yeah.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22You've made me realise that if you're in a double-act,
0:18:22 > 0:18:28you only do half the work. Sounds ideal! Will you show me the secret?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- No, no, no. - We're not sharing what we've got.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34- I'll give you both a biscuit. - BOTH:- Done.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38You are about to learn the tricks of the trade from JK and Joel here.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41The first rule is being able to tell
0:18:41 > 0:18:44what each other is thinking all the time.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Sometimes we find ourselves finishing each other's...- Sandwiches!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- Sentences.- That and all.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Next up, listening. Listening is very important.
0:18:52 > 0:18:57- You should always be listening to each other.- Next up is listening.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Listening is very important. You should always be listening.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- I just said that.- Sorry, I wasn't listening.- Brilliant.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Next up, trust. Trust is very important in a double-act.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12I can guarantee that Joel will always be there for me.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16If I was to fall back now, I know Joel would be there to catch me.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17Because JK trusts me.
0:19:17 > 0:19:22- Joel, come over here.- What?- Do you want one of these lovely sweeties?
0:19:22 > 0:19:26- Have you got yellow ones? - Yeah.- I absolutely love them.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35- Ouch! Joel, what are you doing? - BOTH: Oh, budgies!
0:19:35 > 0:19:38My back. What did you do that for?
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Hacker gave me a sweet so I obviously couldn't pick you up.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Don't give me that. We're a double-act.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Calm down, boys. Calm down.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52You're both funny and that. Sit down.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Sometimes, I'm in a double-act with my half-brother, Dodger.
0:19:55 > 0:20:01In fact, we recently filmed a period drama thing set in the old world.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05It's called Downstairs Abbey. It will cheer you right up.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Dear, diary. I am in love.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21I think that Lord Percy is well good and that,
0:20:21 > 0:20:25even though I am but a lowly maid.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28And I wish that we could be married.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Hey! You can't be in love with Lord Percy, too.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36BELL RINGS Oh, Lord Percy.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- I'll go, I'll go.- I'll go.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44Ah, girls, There you are. Terrible news. There's a thief in town.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49This mustn't ruin in my afternoon with the beautiful Lady Sarah.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53- Isn't she perfection? - Nah.- I'm not too keen myself.
0:20:53 > 0:20:58How dare you?! Be off with you and make sure this house is clean.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06- Hackerella, what are we going to do? - Don't worry for I have a plan.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13- Urgh! No, I meant the plan to get rid of Lady Sarah!- Oh, yeah.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19May I present Lady Sarah?
0:21:20 > 0:21:25Lady Sarah, it is my honour to welcome you to my home.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28And it is my pleasure to be invited.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Lord Percy, do excuse me.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- May I just powder up my nose? - BREAKS WIND
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Of course. Dodgina, could you assist Lady Sarah
0:21:39 > 0:21:42in finding somewhere she can powder her nose?
0:21:42 > 0:21:45You want to go lav, love? This way.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- She is a fine lady, isn't she? - BREAKS WIND
0:21:52 > 0:21:57So elegant, of noble descent and disposition.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Lord Percy, look!
0:22:01 > 0:22:05My family silver! This can only mean one thing.
0:22:05 > 0:22:11- It means...actually, what does it mean?- Lady Sarah is a thief.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Yes, you're right. She is a swindler. A trickster!
0:22:15 > 0:22:20- Thief!- But, Lord Percy... - Get out of my home!
0:22:23 > 0:22:260h, fortune, what hand have you dealt me?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28By one true love a thief.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Why can't I find an honest woman? Hackerella, someone like you.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36In fact, Hackerella, I think...
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Yes, Lord Percy?
0:22:44 > 0:22:49I think...it smells like Lady Sarah has blocked the toilet.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- Could you sort it out?- Budgies!
0:22:56 > 0:23:01Ain't Downstairs Abbey good, eh? Have you two made up now?
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Yeah, we're best buds again, because nothing can come between me and JK.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Oi! That's my biscuit!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Hacker, we've had a great day on your show
0:23:10 > 0:23:13but there's something we want to ask you.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- Would you like to be in our double-act?- A triple-act!
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- A triple-act?- Imagine it! JK, Joel and Hacker.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25No, no. Imagine this. Joel, JK and Hacker.
0:23:25 > 0:23:30- Or Hacker, JK and Joel. - No, imagine Joel, Hacker and JK.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Enough, boys! I've got some news to break to you.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37I've enjoyed having you here, but I'm tired of your double act ways.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42I need to work alone from now on. I don't want to share the limelight!
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- I'm good enough on my own! - Charming(!)
0:23:45 > 0:23:48We didn't want to work with you anyway.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50I've got a present to thank you for coming in.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- Is it a brand new games console? - Is it a Ferrari?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55No. It's a dog bowl!
0:23:57 > 0:24:01ANNOUNCER: The Hacker Time dog bowl is the latest in doggy chic.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05It can store food, store water, store...
0:24:05 > 0:24:08well, mainly just food and water really.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14- Bye. The door's over there. - A dog bowl? Brilliant(!)
0:24:14 > 0:24:18- Call us, yeah?- I'll e-mail you about next Friday.- I'm not available.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- Tuesday?- I'm washing my hair. - See you!- Mind your head.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Haha! What a pair of buffoons!
0:24:23 > 0:24:27Although they have given me an idea for this week's countdown.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32It's time for Hacker's Top Five Silly Howlers.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38At five, it's belly face.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46What a nonsense that is. Nice lipstick, though.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51At four, a dog who can play the piano.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I'm not the only one, then.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Nice suit as well, that.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12In at three, if you like silly stuff, you'll love this.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Watch where you're sitting, young man!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:25:28 > 0:25:31He fell in the basket! What a LOL.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38In at two, these blokes do something amazing with a hat. Look.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40MUSIC
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- Ain't they good? - What a useless skill to have.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10But what will be at number one? Here's what.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16My favourite silly howler today is a right old LOL.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19It's got a baby monkey in it and a pig.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Put them both together and you get this.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25# Baby monkey Baby monkey
0:26:26 > 0:26:30# Riding on a pig, baby monkey
0:26:30 > 0:26:34# Baby monkey Baby monkey
0:26:34 > 0:26:39# Going backwards on a pig Baby monkey. #
0:26:39 > 0:26:44It went backwards on the pig and everything! What are they like?
0:26:44 > 0:26:48Well, that's all from Hacker Time today. Wasn't it good?
0:26:48 > 0:26:52Thanks to JK and Joel for doing whatever it is they do.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54I'll be back another day but, for now,
0:26:54 > 0:26:58I'm going to sing because I'm a dead good singer and that.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06# That's it for now The end of the show
0:27:06 > 0:27:08# I need the lav That's where I'm going to go
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# I'll see you next time On this show of mine
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:27:13 > 0:27:15# We've had a LOL or two Watching some clips
0:27:15 > 0:27:18# I laughed so hard That I nearly was sick
0:27:18 > 0:27:20# I'll show you more funny stuff When I'm next on
0:27:20 > 0:27:22# Who needs other telly shows Mine's the best one!
0:27:22 > 0:27:25# JK and Joel came in today
0:27:25 > 0:27:27# And we did lots of silly stuff
0:27:27 > 0:27:29# We had some fun, We watched some things.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32# But I kicked 'em out Well, enough's enough
0:27:32 > 0:27:34# That is it for now The end of the show
0:27:34 > 0:27:37# I need the lav so I'm going to go
0:27:37 > 0:27:39# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:39 > 0:27:42# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time... #
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:44 > 0:27:46E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk