0:00:02 > 0:00:06You've got to watch this. Pfft!
0:00:06 > 0:00:09You've got to watch this.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12You've got to watch this!
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# My, my, my, my programme hits you so hard
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Makes me say "Oh, my word!"
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Thank you for watching me It's telly
0:00:20 > 0:00:21# But not what you normally see
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# It feels good There's out-takes, too
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Comedy, guests and clips It's true
0:00:25 > 0:00:28# So sit back, don't move too much This is the show
0:00:28 > 0:00:29# Ha! You can't touch
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- # Stop!- Hacker time! #
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Thank you.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Standby, studio. On air in ten...
0:00:35 > 0:00:37nine...
0:00:37 > 0:00:40DEREK! WE'RE ON AIR IN...eight...
0:00:40 > 0:00:41seven...six...
0:00:41 > 0:00:44DEREK! ..five...four... DEREK! QUICK!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47In three... This will be a total disaster. ..two...one...
0:00:47 > 0:00:50- TOILET FLUSHES - Ho-ho!
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Download complete. On with the show!
0:00:53 > 0:00:59Ladies and gentlemen, you're about to see something truly amazing!
0:00:59 > 0:01:01But before that, here's Hacker.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05All right, cockers? Have we got a show for you today?!
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Seriously, have we? We have? Oh, good. Now that's sorted,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12I'm honoured to say we have a world televisual first.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15You literally won't believe your eyes when you see this.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18It's going to be amazing.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Oh, the smell's drifting in.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Time to take drastic measures, Lolly.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Derek, not now!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27It stinks in here. I must do something or we'll perish!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30You only have yourself to blame!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Move over so I can plug this air freshener in
0:01:32 > 0:01:33before we all pass out.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36And so without any further ado,
0:01:36 > 0:01:41it's my great honour to present the dancing Otter Display Team!
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Hoo-hoo! We'll have fresh air in no time, Lolly!
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Derek! It's using all the power!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I can smell the difference already!
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I'm unplugging it.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54Thank you!
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Thank you, the Otter Display Team of Great Britain there.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02What an amazing display - went without any hitches.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06You'll never see anything as amazing again on TV ever again!
0:02:06 > 0:02:10It's going to be a good show. Derek! Run the menu!
0:02:10 > 0:02:14Yes, Mr Hacker. Well done.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Coming up today, cutting-edge games,
0:02:17 > 0:02:21- highbrow interviews.- Will you only be in programmes that end in "oad"?
0:02:21 > 0:02:23And a pigeon stuck in bread!
0:02:23 > 0:02:27Don't go changing, my little owls!
0:02:27 > 0:02:31I still can't believe what those otters did with that jelly
0:02:31 > 0:02:33and the motorbike. That's amazing!
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Anyway, the only way from here is up.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39This situation needs a high-profile guest.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Someone fresh, new and exciting. Herman! You've got my brief,
0:02:43 > 0:02:46now go outside and see what you can cobble together.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Wilf, Herman - off you go!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- Yes, Mr Hacker. - I'll fire up the van.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Ha-ha-ha!
0:02:54 > 0:02:59MUSIC: "Mission Impossible Theme"
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Stay here...
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- What's going on? - Off you go, Wilf!
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Off we go.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13This is weird.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15I'll just reverse it...
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Please welcome today's special guest -
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- Ceal from Friday Download?! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:21 > 0:03:22This isn't the moment!
0:03:22 > 0:03:25I said, "Bring me some fresh, new and exciting..."
0:03:25 > 0:03:27This kid's on everything...
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- What's that, Hacker? - No, it's fine.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34We see you everywhere - Friday Download, All Over The Place,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37the CBBC office, might as well give you more air time, whatever(!)
0:03:37 > 0:03:39You had me thrown in that van!
0:03:39 > 0:03:43It was an administrative error, Sonny Jim. Off you pop!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45You're making me look bad here, mate.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49I am fresh, new, exciting - everything you said!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51What can you do?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Loads.- Go on, then.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- I got a really bad neck, you know? - Really?- Really sore.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58I have to crack it. CRACKING
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Ceal, your neck's gone awry! Are you all right?
0:04:01 > 0:04:03No. I'm horrified.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06It's just a bottle.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10That's amazing! Kelvin, you're in!
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Pull that blue lever.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Having a fact file of everyone who ever lived
0:04:15 > 0:04:18was money well spent, cockers!
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Ceallach Spellman has a name that's very difficult to spell.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23He used to be on Waterloo Road,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25where he played a windswept schoolboy,
0:04:25 > 0:04:26alongside some giant women.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Now he's a presenter on Friday Download.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31They all work in perfect harmony together.
0:04:31 > 0:04:36"Hello - and welcome - to - Friday - chicken."
0:04:36 > 0:04:37"Eh, Dan!"
0:04:37 > 0:04:40He grew up as part of a medieval castle in Bicester,
0:04:40 > 0:04:43until his wish was granted and he became a real boy.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46His hobbies include pointing at ceilings,
0:04:46 > 0:04:47pointing forwards,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49and dressing like that.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53You're meant to be fashionable. Oh, what a mess you are.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54It's not all smiles.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57At the dentist, he asked for a crown to be fitted,
0:04:57 > 0:04:59and wasn't happy with the result.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01He meant a tooth crown. What a LOL.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05At the end of the day, he's a normal young man who likes nothing more
0:05:05 > 0:05:08than to go home, dress as a morris dancer,
0:05:08 > 0:05:10and sit in darkness with his trusty plant, Eric.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Still, at least Ceal knows he's got his great dancing to fall back on.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Not!
0:05:15 > 0:05:19That's all you need to know about Ceallach Spellman.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Ha-ha! Did you enjoy it?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24It was...average.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Who made you details queen?
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Anyway - you have a lot of fans out there.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31So I shall now conduct an interview,
0:05:31 > 0:05:33if only to calm the screaming girls.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34SCREAMS
0:05:34 > 0:05:37I let them in because I thought they were here for me.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Turns out they were very much not.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- Ahem. Question one. You're on Friday Download.- Yes.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Have you ever thought about doing some new "Downloads"?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- How about "Dad Download"?- No.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52"No-yes-no-madam-oh! Download"?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54That hasn't...
0:05:54 > 0:05:58"Shaka-laka-boom-boom...ha-ha Download"?
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Maybe that one.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04Good, question two. Have you ever uploaded anything on a Friday?
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- No.- Now, Ceal, can I be honest?- Yes.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11I don't know why you're on that show,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13because you're a bit out of touch.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Behold the evidence!
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Hello, everyone. This is the Games Download, with Ceal, Dionne
0:06:22 > 0:06:24and Tyger.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I'll show you a cool game, a cool gadget,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29and then we'll be doing the Tyger Verses.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32First, we're lucky enough to be previewing a game
0:06:32 > 0:06:34that doesn't come out till later this year.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37This game comes with something never seen before.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38BUZZER BLEEPS
0:06:38 > 0:06:41COMPUTER MUSIC
0:06:44 > 0:06:47That is insane.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57This is a new level in gaming.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58It's good, isn't it?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Good? It's incredible!
0:07:02 > 0:07:03I, er...
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- What d'you think, Ceal? - I don't remember playing that game.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09To be fair, it went down a storm in Uruguay.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Moving on, you've been in Waterloo Road and Friday Download.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Yes.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Will you only be in programmes that end in "oad"?
0:07:17 > 0:07:21All Over the Place doesn't end in "ode".
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Very interesting(!)
0:07:23 > 0:07:27For our next question, I think we have a caller on the line.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Ceallach! Pick up your handset, and poise said aerial.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Poising the aerial.- Good work.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Hello, who's on line one?
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Hello. It's me, Keith
0:07:38 > 0:07:43from Betterer Broadband.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- What makes it betterer? - You get a free pen!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50That Ceal's done 36 episodes of Friday Download,
0:07:50 > 0:07:52plus a Christmas special,
0:07:52 > 0:07:56not to mention his obsession with pictures of happy tractors.
0:07:56 > 0:08:01That's all very well, but he's reached his download limit!
0:08:05 > 0:08:08- What?! I don't believe this! - Why? Did you not get your free pen?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10No, it's not that!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Excuse me! Is someone going to give me
0:08:12 > 0:08:15some money or what for the additional data?
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Just hang up, Ceal! That's all gone somewhat awry, hasn't it?
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Fortunately, I think we've got another caller. Who's on line two?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26All right, dude? We're missing you, man.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30That's so sweet, bro! Cheers, man - it means a lot.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32We're not talking about you, mate!
0:08:32 > 0:08:35In that case, thank you for saying them lovely things about me.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- We not talking about you, Hacker!- But that leaves...
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- 'Harry Tongue! Got to text me some time.'- You?!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Yah-dah!
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- HE LAUGHS - I'm sorry about him.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Now, Callum...- Ceal. - I'll be the judge of that.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51- So, Kyle...- Ceal.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54..you present Friday Download with five other people.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56How well do you know them?
0:08:56 > 0:09:00Question 1 of 307 on how well you know the downloaders is,
0:09:00 > 0:09:03when was Tyger born?
0:09:03 > 0:09:051996?
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I'm sorry, the answer was 11:37am.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Probably. I imagine it was around that time.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Question 2 of 307 -
0:09:13 > 0:09:16what did Georgia have for breakfast?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I don't know!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Hmm, not doing well, are we?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Luckily, there are 305 questions still to go.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Question 3 of 307.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Which went lav-lav most recently?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30I don't know!
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- Question 4 of 307...- Hacker! Please!
0:09:33 > 0:09:36I can't take any more of 307 questions of rubbish.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- I could do my item now! - What is it, Derek?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42It's pure rubbish, Ceallach. Pure dross!
0:09:42 > 0:09:46I want to give him that chance. Go on, Derek.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51Hoo-hoo! It's Derek Time! Hee-hee!
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Today we haven't got time to show you the pigeon
0:09:54 > 0:09:57that can't remember where he's left his bread...
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Coo-coo! I mean, hoo-hoo!
0:10:01 > 0:10:05..but we do have time to show you today's top clip.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10This man - look at the speed of him!
0:10:10 > 0:10:14He's putting sweets in a bag. I'm proud of him.
0:10:15 > 0:10:20Hoo-hoo! What an amazing, impressive and utterly pointless trick.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Back to you, Hacker!
0:10:22 > 0:10:24You brought that upon yourself.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28I told you it was utter drivel, didn't I?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Oh, hello! Thanks, Derek.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34How you have enriched our lives once again(!)
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Now it's time for some serious chat.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Let's get to the root of you, Ceal.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Yeah, OK.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41I asked you here today.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46I was thrown in a van and you said it was "an administrative error"!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Well, we're in it now, making the best of it.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- There is something I've always wondered about you.- What's that?
0:10:52 > 0:10:57I'll tell you, but via the medium of song.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Hit it!
0:11:04 > 0:11:07# Georgia does the style
0:11:07 > 0:11:09# Smiling at us while
0:11:09 > 0:11:12# She tries to help us with our fashion woes
0:11:14 > 0:11:16# Music's done by Dionne
0:11:16 > 0:11:19# She sometimes sings a song
0:11:19 > 0:11:23# Her voice is like a warming summer's day
0:11:25 > 0:11:27# Aidan's got the moves
0:11:27 > 0:11:30# A robot boy in shoes
0:11:30 > 0:11:34# He bobs his head in such a quirky way
0:11:36 > 0:11:38# Tyger does the games
0:11:38 > 0:11:41# Richard of Beaker fame
0:11:41 > 0:11:45# Tells us what to do with our weekends
0:11:47 > 0:11:52# But tell me What does Ceallach do?
0:11:52 > 0:11:57# What kind of download is his?
0:11:57 > 0:12:00# He tries to do some dancing
0:12:00 > 0:12:02# But he's pretty bad at that
0:12:02 > 0:12:07# Messing up the steps and showing himself up
0:12:07 > 0:12:11# So what does Ceallach do?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15# He's a man of questionable skills
0:12:15 > 0:12:18# He's an actor, just like Richard
0:12:18 > 0:12:23# So the job's been filled So what does Ceallach...
0:12:23 > 0:12:26# What does Ceallach...
0:12:26 > 0:12:30# What does Ceallach do? #
0:12:32 > 0:12:35I do the TV and Movie Download.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Well, that answers that, then.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Awkward. - BELL CHIMES
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I've had enough. That dog doesn't know anything, Benjamin.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51You know what we have to do!
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Durr...write another letter of complaint, Frank?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58No! We need a more immediate way of getting to them.
0:12:58 > 0:13:03- Benjamin, we're going to give the BBC a ring!- OK, Frank.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07While he's gone to get the phone, time to think about what to say...
0:13:07 > 0:13:10"Hello, the BBC. I'm disgusted with this Hacker Time programme."
0:13:10 > 0:13:12No. "I'm horrified."
0:13:12 > 0:13:16No. "Sickened to the pit of my soul!"
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Here you go, Frank.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21What is that?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Well, you said you would give the BBC a ring,
0:13:24 > 0:13:26so I picked this especially.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29The BBC's bound to want to marry you now, Frankie!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Benjamin!
0:13:32 > 0:13:35- What was that noise? - Sorry, I just trumped.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39No, it more like something from the floorboards - not a trump.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Good, because I didn't trump.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I don't know why I say these things, Right then, viewers.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Don't go anywhere cos there's plenty more to come.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51I might even trump, or pretend I have. Anything could happen!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Derek, run the menu.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Still to come on today's Hacker Time. Dancing...
0:13:57 > 0:13:58disappointment...
0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Louder!- Sorry, Hacker.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02..and despair.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04HAROLD TONGUE!
0:14:04 > 0:14:07My beloved tongue-d cup! Argh!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09It's going to be great, me little owls.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12What a top drawer selection of treats still to come, Ceal.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Yup.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Do you like my new threads?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I have my shirt open with just the top button fastened,
0:14:19 > 0:14:21like Aidan does.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23And not cos it's broken.
0:14:23 > 0:14:28- It's not broken. It's fashion. It's fashionable, isn't it?- It is.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31I know about what's hot and what's less hot.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35I've seen that bit of your show when Aidan does the dancing.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- Well, he's been getting it all wrong.- Erm...
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Yes, he has. That's the correct answer.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Would you like me to teach you dance moves, Kelvin?
0:14:44 > 0:14:48It's Ceal! Yes. OK, if we have to.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50All right, then, kiddo! Watch and learn.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Get ready with this one.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ooh, ooh.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58MUSIC: "Dance With Me Tonight" by Olly Murs
0:14:58 > 0:15:00- Go on!- Ooh, what's happening?.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03That's nothing like it. It's this.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ooh, ooh.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09A-lama-heeya.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13- Hoo, ah-ha!- That's rubbish. I didn't even do that!
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Ceal, you're rubbish!
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- Cut the music! - MUSIC STOPS
0:15:16 > 0:15:20I'll speak to some young people that might have moves - unlike you!
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Whilst I'm gone, try and get your dance cool like me,
0:15:23 > 0:15:26and less like a dad dancing at a wedding.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29You sicken me, Ceallach!
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Here we go!
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- All right, everyone? - ALL: Hello, Hacker!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55It's me - Hacker off the telly.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Would you help me with my dance career?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59ALL: Yeah!
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Hooray! They're going to help me.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05Herman, bring in the box o' stuff.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ah, ha-hem!
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Ooh!
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Here you go, Hacker. Here's the b...
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Oh!
0:16:15 > 0:16:21Oh, no - I've become entangled in me own misery.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Everyone, copy me! Here we go! Ah-hem.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27La-la-la, la-la-la.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29La-la-lee, la-la-lee.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33What's your best dance move?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Oh, yeah!
0:16:38 > 0:16:40La-la.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Oh, he's off. He's on a rampage now.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- (ROBOT VOICE)- I am a robot.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Would you like tea or coffee?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51"Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker!"
0:16:51 > 0:16:55Tea or coffee? Tea or coffee?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57ANVIL CLANGS
0:16:57 > 0:17:00What are you doing that for?
0:17:00 > 0:17:03You got me on the head then. You did. You got me...
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Hee-hee! Don't tickle me.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10So, what have we learned today?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Number one - I can't dance.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Number two - you can dance.
0:17:17 > 0:17:22And number three, well... I just drew a couple of cherries.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Couple of nice cherries.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Right, I'm off. Cheers for all your help. Bye-bye, everyone!
0:17:28 > 0:17:32- ALL: Bye! - Now I must get back to the studio.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36I wonder how they're getting on without me.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39# Pia-pia-piano, piano, piano
0:17:39 > 0:17:41# Pia-pia-piano
0:17:41 > 0:17:43# Pia-pia-piano
0:17:43 > 0:17:47# I am the music man I come from down your way
0:17:47 > 0:17:51- # And I can play - What can you play?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53# I play the drums... #
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Yoo-hoo! I'm back! Did you miss me?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Ow!
0:17:58 > 0:18:00That's what happens when you mess around with friends.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04And as for you pesky costume characters. You can apologise!
0:18:04 > 0:18:05ALL: Sorry, Hacker.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Louder!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08ALL: Sorry, Hacker.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10That's better.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13You shouldn't be hanging round with that lot. No good will come of it.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15I'm sorry.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Well, to clear the air, how about we have a nice LOL,
0:18:18 > 0:18:22which could be extended to a nice ROFL if all goes well.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Does that sound good, Kelvin?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Ceal! Yes. But it's Ceal!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Run some howlers, Derek!
0:18:28 > 0:18:32And why have we still got this lemon knocking about?!
0:18:34 > 0:18:37I'm about to battle with one of Britain's most feared predators.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Predators that are lying in ambush...
0:18:40 > 0:18:42'I think you may have gone to the wrong area.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43'The mic's in shot!'
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Hindus also celebrate death...
0:18:45 > 0:18:48'Don't drop 'em. Don't drop 'em!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51'He's dropped 'em! You put him off!'
0:18:51 > 0:18:54The logs came off! That could've been real trouble!
0:18:54 > 0:18:59'Now, what are you gonna do with that 'laccy band there?
0:18:59 > 0:19:01'Oh, what a mooey!'
0:19:01 > 0:19:04They are both going for European football this season.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07The North East now is really making a noise, isn't it? Martin O'Neil...
0:19:07 > 0:19:08'Yeah. And so's this!'
0:19:08 > 0:19:10ALARM
0:19:10 > 0:19:11It's nothing short of incredible.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13'See? It's the alarm!
0:19:13 > 0:19:15'That's it, don't rush. Just stay there.'
0:19:15 > 0:19:17TANNOY: ATTENTION PLEASE
0:19:17 > 0:19:18'Don't bother evacuating'
0:19:18 > 0:19:20We may have to evacuate!
0:19:21 > 0:19:23'Did you mean to do that, sir?
0:19:23 > 0:19:28'I meant the jumper. Did you mean to wear that horrible tank top?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30'Is it the '70s?!'
0:19:30 > 0:19:31HACKER LAUGHS
0:19:31 > 0:19:34'Oh! His upper leg!'
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Hey, those howlers were good, weren't they?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44You wouldn't catch us doing that at Friday Download.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46No, Cecilly.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Ceal. Ceal, not Cecilly.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52I've brought you over to the Download area of my studio.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Amazing what you can do with an old sheet. I've only slept on 'em once.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Yeah. I think ours is a little bit more professional.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00HE GROWLS
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- What do you do here? - What do you do here more like?
0:20:03 > 0:20:04HE LAUGHS
0:20:04 > 0:20:06OK, well, I'll just tell you.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10You work on a TV programme that's all about downloads and things,
0:20:10 > 0:20:14but what would happen if you made it more extreme?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17What if you had a mega-download?!
0:20:18 > 0:20:21You'd feel quite refreshed, I'm guessing.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23This'll be anything but refreshing, Ceal.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27We've got to get as many different downloads within a time limit.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Herman will choose the downloads. Are you ready, Herman?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32What are we talking about now?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35The download thing we rehearsed!
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Sorry about him, Ceal. He came free in a meal deal.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Come on, Herman, pull it together!
0:20:40 > 0:20:44First up is dance download. Your time starts now.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47MUSIC: "She Makes Me Wanna" by JLS
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Singing download!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53MUSIC: "Price Tag" by Jessie J
0:20:53 > 0:20:57# It's not money, money, money
0:20:57 > 0:20:58# We just wanna make the world ...#
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Dress up as a woman download!
0:21:00 > 0:21:03MUSIC: "Womanizer" by Britney Spears
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- # I'm a woman, yes # - I would like to be a woman. #
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Rave download!
0:21:08 > 0:21:09DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Titanic download!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17MUSIC: "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion
0:21:17 > 0:21:22# Every night in my dreams I see you I feel you...#
0:21:22 > 0:21:24I love you, Leonardo.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I love you too!
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Scare the lemon download!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36THEY MAKE SILLY NOISES
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Wind download.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Wind download?!
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Don't worry about this one! Spellman's got this one in the bag.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Setting up...
0:21:44 > 0:21:46HE FARTS LOUDLY
0:21:47 > 0:21:54Kelvin! He didn't mean wind as in trump, he meant as in a mild gust!
0:21:54 > 0:21:55I'm so mad, I could...
0:21:55 > 0:21:57HE FARTS LOUDLY
0:21:58 > 0:22:01It's gone everywhere!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Let's bypass this shambles and watch a top-end drama what I'm in.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Here's the Adventures of Sherlock Bones.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09It's much higher brow than this. You'll see, Ceal.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Don't sniff me.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12You smell!
0:22:12 > 0:22:17This is Teapot, the home of the greatest detective known to man.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18Sherlock Bones! Are you kiddin'?
0:22:18 > 0:22:23Dear Diary. Today I looked into the crime of a missing apple juice,
0:22:23 > 0:22:26but then I found it in the cupboard covered in dust.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28What am I like?!
0:22:28 > 0:22:32On a related note, dear diary, I've got personal business
0:22:32 > 0:22:35of a wet nature to attend to.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40LIQUID TRICKLES
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Oh, that's not right!
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Better get that looked at.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49This is a mystery, but this time,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52it's of a personal nature.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08And when I came back in, it was gone!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10I'm livid, I am.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12So what did you do, Do?
0:23:12 > 0:23:14It's Mrs Do to you.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Sorry. What did you do, Mrs Do?
0:23:16 > 0:23:17HE SNIGGERS
0:23:17 > 0:23:20I'm sorry. It's still funny. Do Do.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24HE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Allow me.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Mrs Do. I have something you might be interested in.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Oh! Sherlock! It's a miracle!
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Not sure I'd call it that.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38She hadn't even told me the cordial had gone
0:23:38 > 0:23:41- and you've found it already! You're good at this.- Ow!
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Let's celebrate with a lovely glass of lemon cordial!
0:23:45 > 0:23:49I'm in over my head here. Yikes!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Unbelievable!
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Dear Diary. I've done a terrible thing.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59I should've just told them what it was. I'm in big trouble now.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- BANGING AT DOOR Sherlock!- No!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04This isn't lemon cordial at all!
0:24:04 > 0:24:06OK! I'll admit it!
0:24:06 > 0:24:07It is what you thought it was.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09It's apple cordial.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11It's been in the cupboard for a while,
0:24:11 > 0:24:14so I wanted Mrs Do to tell me whether it was off or not.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Ah, that's what it is! If anything, I prefer apple to lemon cordial.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20It's not off - it's delicious!
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Oh, I feel so silly now!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24What am I like?!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26THEY LAUGH
0:24:32 > 0:24:37Got ya! Ha! It wasn't about widdle at all!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40It was cordial-based fun. Ceallach!
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- Yeah?- What are you doing?
0:24:42 > 0:24:47I got a drink. I was getting a bit bored of that cordial-based talk.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48You're drinking out of that?!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Yeah. It was a bit dirty but it's all I could find.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56I managed not to swallow any of these but yeah, finished now, so...
0:24:56 > 0:25:00HAROLD TONGUE!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02My beloved tongue-d cup!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Get out!
0:25:04 > 0:25:06- Oh, come on. I think you're getting a bit...- Just get out!
0:25:06 > 0:25:07ALl right.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Get out!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11See ya.
0:25:11 > 0:25:12- And Ceal!- Yeah?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Send your mum my love, won't you?
0:25:15 > 0:25:18And thank her for those caramel squares she sent.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20I'll tell her. Dinner tonight?
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I'll be there, big guy!
0:25:22 > 0:25:23- See you then!- Bye-bye!
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Mind your head.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26I've minded it.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29What a lovely fella! I miss him already.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34But we can't mope forever because it's time for yet more LOLs.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36You've seen what a great dancer I am,
0:25:36 > 0:25:39but let's see some other people in action.
0:25:39 > 0:25:44It's time for Hacker's Top Three Dancing Howlers!
0:25:45 > 0:25:48In at three, this guy's having a bit of a roogie -
0:25:48 > 0:25:51a room-based boogie!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53# Billie Jean...#
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Ha! Look at him! He looks like the Incredible Hulk!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Ooh, not any more, he doesn't.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05At two, this little fella knows
0:26:05 > 0:26:08exactly how to woo the other spiders!
0:26:10 > 0:26:14# It's a dancing spider It's a dancing spider
0:26:14 > 0:26:18# He's got his tendrils up and he's got his tendrils down
0:26:18 > 0:26:23# He's using his pincers and his little tiny teeth things. #
0:26:23 > 0:26:26If that doesn't impress you, love, I don't know what will!
0:26:27 > 0:26:32At one, guess what happens to this teeny bopper! Go on, guess!
0:26:34 > 0:26:38Oh, be careful! You shouldn't be doing that on your own, love.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Get out. It's nice outside.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Oh, well done! You've broken the fixtures and fittings!
0:26:47 > 0:26:52That's right, she falls over. Thank goodness that's over!
0:26:52 > 0:26:53You've either got it or you haven't,
0:26:53 > 0:26:57which makes me so glad that I definitely have got it.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Right then, that's all we've got time for today.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Thanks for watching my well good show.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04I'm off to audition for the otter display team!
0:27:04 > 0:27:06I'll see you next time.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Unless I make the team, which I probably will cos I'm quite good,
0:27:08 > 0:27:10and otter-like.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12I'll leave you today with my catchy little ditty.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15G-g-g-g-ta-ra for now, cockers!
0:27:16 > 0:27:19# That is it for now The end of the show
0:27:19 > 0:27:21# I need the lav-lav So I'm going to go
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:24 > 0:27:26# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time!
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# It's been amazing We've been larking around
0:27:28 > 0:27:30# And we've been LOLing at some clips that I found
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# Watch again next time cos I've got much more
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# There'll be tons of funny stuff It'll be top drawer
0:27:35 > 0:27:40# We had Ceal from Friday Download Come in and join the fun
0:27:40 > 0:27:43# What a star I think he's great
0:27:43 > 0:27:46# Except when he drinks from Harry Tongue
0:27:46 > 0:27:48# That is it for now The end of the show
0:27:48 > 0:27:50# I need the lav-lav So I'm going to go
0:27:50 > 0:27:52# I'll see you next time on this show of mine
0:27:52 > 0:27:55# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:27:55 > 0:27:57# Put it in your diary It's called Hacker Time
0:27:57 > 0:28:00# That is the end of today's Hacker Time!
0:28:00 > 0:28:01See ya!
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Subtitling by Red Bee Media Ltd